Want to find out more about becoming a Calamity Dame? Read on.....

1. Becoming a Calamity Dame

2. There’s nothing like a Dame… This short guide is here to tell you a whole bunch of stuff about what it means to be a Calamity Dame. It’s about how we talk to people and what we want to achieve. And what we don’t. It’s about what being a Calamity Dame stands for. The idea behind the Dames has been lovingly slaved over, and this short guide helps us all to sing from the same hymn sheet; without losing our own unique voices.

3. What we’re not. The Calamity Dames don’t aspire to be perfect, but we’re perfectly happy this way. We all live our lives to the best of our abilities, but every now and then we fuck up (we also swear quite a bit). We work, love, drink, eat, exercise, raise kids, date, decorate and even fart now and again. Although rarely all at once.

4. What we talk like. Although each Dame takes pride in banging her own drum, we do have a shared tone of voice. We’re friendly and approachable. We talk to everyone like they’re a mate down the pub, warmly and with more than a touch of humour. We don’t waffle, we don’t patronise (no one likes a show-off) and we don’t use jargon. We don’t over complicate or use two words when one will do. We’ve all got better things to do than babble on. NB: Dames all submit their own articles to be added to calamitydames.com but some minor editing should be expected. We promise to keep it to a minimum.

5. What type of Dames are there? There are two types of Dame, regular Calamity Dames and guest Dames. Regular Dames contribute regular articles (the clue’s in the name). We expect a minimum of one article a month from all regular Dames, although 3-4 would be brilliant! We don’t need anymore than that. Quality rather than quantity and all that jazz. Guest Dames write what they can when they can. Be that one article every few months or just one article ever. We’re happy to hear from our guest Dames whenever they have something to say.

6. How do you become a Dame. Wannabe Dame’s can submit articles at: www.calamitydames.com/about/submit-an-article Once approved we’ll be in touch to find out what type of Dame you want to be.

7. What’s in it for you? Unfortunately we can’t pay our Dames as we don’t make any money. It’s a dammed shame we know. We hope you’ll join us because it’s fun. Because you’re fed up being told how you should live and because you have something to say.

8. Where do you find the Dames. As well as our main home at www.calamitydames.com you can also find the Dames hanging out at www.facebook.com/CalamityDames and on Twitter under the guise of @CalamityDames Pop past and say “howdy”, we’d love to hear from you.

9. Thank you.