1. Talking
in
a
way
that
keeps
people
clicking
Vincent Franklin
vincent@quietroom.co.uk
020 7970 6011
Thursday, 4 October 12

2. Thursday, 4 October 12

3. 6
steps
to
be4er
copy
1. Write about your audience - not you
2. Choose words that resonate
3. Use verbs not abstract nouns
4. Use short sentences for impact and clarity
5. Climb up down the ladder of abstraction
6. Structure ideas with story spines
Thursday, 4 October 12

4. Write about your audience
With
nine
founders
and
more
than
130
staff
spread
across
5
UK
offices
(Basingstoke,
Leeds,
Manchester,
Peterborough
and
Tonbridge),
we
offer
a
locally
owned
service,
naKonally.
We
have
130
staff
spread
across
the
UK.
So
no
ma4er
where
you
are,
we’re
there
to
help
you.
Thursday, 4 October 12

5. Write about your audience
BigBank
is
a
major
global
financial
services
provider
engaged
in
personal
banking,
credit
cards,
corporate
and
investment
banking
and
wealth
and
investment
management
with
an
extensive
internaKonal
presence
in
Europe,
the
Americas,
Africa
and
Asia.
With
over
300
years
of
history
and
experKse
in
banking,
Big
Bank
operates
in
over
50
countries
and
employs
140,000
people.
BigBank
moves,
lends,
invests
and
protects
money
for
customers
and
clients
worldwide.
Thursday, 4 October 12

6. Write about your audience
BigBank
moves,
lends,
invests
and
protects
money
for
customers
and
clients
worldwide.
We’re
a
major
global
financial
services
provider
engaged
in
personal
banking,
credit
cards,
corporate
and
investment
banking
and
wealth
and
investment
management
with
an
extensive
internaKonal
presence
in
Europe,
the
Americas,
Africa
and
Asia.
With
over
300
years
of
history
and
experKse
in
banking,
Big
Bank
operates
in
over
50
countries
and
employs
140,000
people.
BigBank
moves,
lends,
invests
Thursday, 4 October 12

7. Write about your audience
WPP
is
the
world's
largest
communicaKons
services
group,
employing
162,000
people*
working
in
3,000
offices
in
110
countries.
or...
Our
global
network
and
local
experts
bring
you
what
we
believe
are
the
best
investment
opportuniKes
from
around
the
world.
Thursday, 4 October 12

8. Words
that
resonate
SEASIDE
Thursday, 4 October 12

9. Words
that
resonate
COASTAL REGION
Thursday, 4 October 12

10. Words
that
resonate
naughty
step
Thursday, 4 October 12

11. Words
that
resonate
thinking
step
Thursday, 4 October 12

12. Words
that
resonate
assist help
ensure make sure
endeavour work hard
delivers you gives you
your requirements the things you need
prepare get ready
process take care of
Thursday, 4 October 12

13. Words
that
resonate
Our
General
Insurance
contact
Claims
Management
centres
are
currently
experiencing
a
considerable
upli
in
claims
related
calls
as
a
result
of
the
recent
severe
weather,
for
customers
affected
by
flooding
please
visit
our...
Thursday, 4 October 12

14. Words that resonate
From
16th
September
all
stores
will
operate
their
regular
opening
hours.
Thursday, 4 October 12

15. Use
verbs
-­‐
not
abstract
nouns
PreparaKon
for
reKrement
Preparing
for
reKrement
Preparing
to
reKre
Ge`ng
ready
to
reKre
Thursday, 4 October 12

16. Use
short
sentences
for
impact
As
the
construcKon
and
design
industry's
most
powerful
source
of
news
and
analyKcs,
McGraw-­‐Hill
ConstrucKon
offers
an
unrivalled
database
of
construcKon
projects
and
products,
yielding
incomparable
business
intelligence
and
creaKng
criKcal
connecKons
and
communiKes.
McGraw-­‐Hill
ConstrucKon
is
the
construcKon
and
design
industry's
most
powerful
source
of
news
and
analyKcs.
We
offer
an
unrivalled
database
of
construcKon
projects
and
products.
This
gives
you
incomparable
business
intelligence
and
helps
create
criKcal
connecKons
and
communiKes.
Thursday, 4 October 12

17. Use
short
sentences
for
impact
We
are
a
financial
cooperaKve
which
is
very
similar
to
a
bank
or
building
society
but
we
are
unique
because
we
are
owned
by
the
people
who
do
business
with
us
in
the
local
community
and
we
are
designed
with
you
in
mind.
We
are
a
financial
cooperaKve.
This
means
we’re
very
similar
to
a
bank
or
building
society.
But
we’re
unique
because
we
are
owned
by
the
people
who
do
business
with
us
in
the
local
community.
We
are
designed
with
you
in
mind.
Thursday, 4 October 12

18. Go
up
&
down
the
ladder
of
abstraction
The
Delivering
Service
Excellence
training
course
covers
all
the
essenKal
customer
service
techniques
enabling
you
to
idenKfy
your
customer's
needs
and
keep
delivering
a
level
of
service
that
ensures
loyalty
and
increased
profits.
Thursday, 4 October 12

19. Climb
up
&
down
the
ladder
of
abstraction
Our
consultants
use
bespoke
and
market
leading
IT
systems
and
their
proven
communicaKon
skills
to
make
a
difference
and
ensure
that
our
clients
understand
all
of
the
opKons
available
to
them.
Our
systems
and
approach
also
mean
that
we
are
well
equipped
to
give
quick
answers
to
the
important
quesKons
raised
by
clients.
Our
clients
benefit
from
accurate,
tailored
and
pracKcal
advice
at
a
reasonable
cost.
Thursday, 4 October 12

20. Structure
ideas
with
story
spines
Once upon a time… there were two families that hated each other
Every day they met in the street, and fought and argued
Until one day the son of one family gate-crashed a party at
the other family’s house
And because of that he danced with their daughter
And because of that they fell in love
And
because of that he wanted to stop the fighting
And because of that his best friend got killed
Until finally their parents broke into the tomb and found
the bodies of their dead children
And as a result they decided to put aside their differences and
live in harmony
Thursday, 4 October 12

21. Structure
ideas
with
story
spines
Once upon a time… we ran a defined benefit pension scheme
Every day people joined signed up and forgot about it
Until one day we realised that if we carried on we’d go bankrupt
And because of that we needed to find another way to help people
save for retirement
And because of that we started a defined contribution pension scheme
And because of that everyone will have their own pot that we’ll put
money into
And because of that people need to decide how their money is
invested and, later, how to turn it into an income
And because of that they need information
Until finally we realised our job is to give people that
information
And as a result I’m sending you this booklet
Thursday, 4 October 12

22. Story
spines
-­‐
and
because
of
that...
Chester
Studios
has
helped
Winslow
Hall
develop
a
new
website
powered
by
our
own
content
managed
system
to
help
promote
the
venue
for
conferences
and
events.
We
created
a
site
that
is
easy
to
use
and
visually
clean,
providing
a
wide
range
of
images
and
downloads
for
all
people
interested
in
using
the
venue.
Thursday, 4 October 12

23. Story
spines
-­‐
and
because
of
that...
Winslow
Hall
wanted
to
promote
itself
as
a
venue
for
conferences
and
events.
And
because
of
that
they
needed
a
site
that
would
give
people
interested
in
using
the
venue
a
wide
range
of
downloads
and
images.
And
because
of
that
we
developed
a
website
for
them
that
was
visually
clean,
easy
to
use
and
is
powered
by
our
own
content
managed
system.
Thursday, 4 October 12

24. Story
spines
-­‐
and
because
of
that...
Winslow
Hall
wanted
to
promote
itself
as
a
venue
for
conferences
and
events.
So
they
needed
a
site
that
would
allow
people
to
download
lots
of
informaKon
and
images.
We
developed
a
website
for
them
that
was
visually
clean
and
very
easy
to
use.
It’s
powered
by
our
own
content
managed
system.
Thursday, 4 October 12

25. 6
steps
to
be4er
copy
1. Write about your audience - not you
2. Choose words that resonate
3. Use verbs not abstract nouns
4. Use short sentences for impact and clarity
5. Climb up down the ladder of abstraction
6. Structure ideas with story spines
Thursday, 4 October 12