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Anger and its Management

1
2
What is Anger?

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in
intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage."
3
Anger




Is an emotion
Is common to every person
Is found in all temperaments

4
I feel…
Furious
Spiteful
Grouchy
Frustrated
Enraged
Annoyed
Irritated
Mad
Irate

ANGRY
5
Fight, Flight or Freeze


Three instinctual responses when faced with
an angry or aggressive individual.

6
How do you experience anger?

7
How do you feel it physically and
emotionally?


What changes do you notice in yourself when you
become angry?

__________________
__________________
__________________


8

Complete the checklist on the next slide.
Objectives:





1.
2.
3.
4.

9

Identify your anger triggers
Know your anger cues
Know your anger style
Deal with your anger effectively
TRIGGERS
What bugs you?



Something that happens that
makes you angry



What triggers you does not
always trigger someone else.

10


Psychologists often call that “right before”
event a “trigger.”



The scene has been set by previous events and
your mood, and then something triggers your
response of anger.

11


For example, maybe you have had a bad
morning…got up late and felt groggy, spilled
coffee and had to change your shirt, tired from
the day before, a little worried about a paper
you need to write…and then, the trigger:
someone cuts you off in traffic.

12
Thoughts Matter


Triggers are accompanied by thoughts,
including thoughts that you have so quickly
that they are almost automatic and you may
not even notice them.

13
1. You have the highest average on social
studies tests, but when report cards are
handed out, the teacher gives someone else
a higher grade than you because he
participates in class more than you do.

a.
b.
c.
14

not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
2. Your best friend has a secret
that she tells to two other friends
but not to you.

a.
b.
c.
15

not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
3. Someone in your class
spreads a rumor about you.
a.
b.
c.

16

not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
4. Your older sister keeps
interrupting you when you’re
trying to tell your mom
something.
a.
b.
c.

17

not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
5. At the pizza place, you have to wait
ten minutes before your order is taken
because the man behind the counter
has served two people who came in
after you.
a.
b.
c.

18

not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
MAKE A LIST





19

If you know your
anger triggers, then
you can either:
1. Try to avoid them
2. Learn how to
deal with them.
Clenched fist
Loud voice

Racing &
pounding
heartbeat
Sweat

20

 Your

body
sends you
signals,
when
you’re
getting
angry.

Red face

Upset
stomach
Complete the Checklist


What are your anger cues?

21
What’s your anger style?


When your anger is triggered, you’re going to
react in some way. The way you react is
called your ANGER STYLE.
Dumping

Acting Out
Burying

22
ACTING OUT





23

Easiest to recognize
It’s when you strike out at
the person you are mad
at: physically or verbally.
YOU’RE OUT OF
CONTROL!!!!
Consequences
You

get in trouble
Problem is not solved

24
DUMPING
DISPLACED ANGER


Shifting your feelings to
someone you feel it’s safe to
be mad at.



Ex. Guy gets mad at his
boss, comes home & yells at
his wife, who yells at the
kids, who kick the dog!!

25
Consequences
 You

hurt innocent people
 Problem is not solved

26
BURYING (ignoring)






When you hold your anger down inside
yourself because you think it isn’t nice to have
those feelings.
Denying your angry isn’t dealing with it.
It can come out in other ways: headaches,
stomachaches, anxious, depressed
One day you might explode!!

27
Consequences
 You

hurt yourself
 You may hurt others when you
EXPLODE
 Problem is not solved

28
Expectation breeds frustration. Frustration breeds
anger.

29
.
There are two choices
 You stay angry---------- nothing good happen
 Feel calm---------------anger is fixated

30

.
Why do we get angry?


“We are predisposed to become angry when
we appraise an event or a person as a threat to
one of our basic needs such as food or shelter,
or more mature needs such as identity,
recognition, achievement, and social
affiliation.”

31
When do you get angry?

32


Think about these reactions.



Are they good for you—your health?
your relationships? Your success at
school and in life?

33
How Do You Act When Angry?


How do you typically act when angry?
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________

34
?


Do you…










Show it on your face?
Grit your teeth?
Grin?
Turn red?
Criticize the “cause” of
your anger?
Physically attack the
“cause” of your anger?
Curse or Swear?
Walk out?
Withdraw from others?

35











Yell or Shout?
Complain?
Clench your fists?
Make aggressive
gestures?
Threaten others?
Punch or Throw objects?
Stomp your feet?
Slam doors?
Brood?


What are the short term effects?

___________________________
___________________________
___________________________


For example:
Do you experience relief?
 Do you become angrier? Depressed?
 Does your anger influence other situations
you encounter or your interactions with
others?


36
?


What are the long term effects?


For example:




37

Do you become angry again in a similar situation?
Do you continue to experience the same problem as before?
Are there significant long term effects, such as lost friendships
or jobs, a drinking problem, or a court appearance?
Out-of-control anger leads to a pattern of
negative behavior that can hurt your
relationships, career, even your mental and
physical health.

38
Can Anger be a Positive?


Although anger is often viewed as a negative
feeling, it can be used in a positive way…





39

Anger provides cues that there is a problem
Anger provides energy and can help motivate
action
Anger encourages the expression of feelings
40
Advantages of Anger





Feelings of power
Self righteous
Get people’s attention
Make them do what you want

41
Disadvantages of anger






Physical symptoms
Tension
Fatigue
psychological symptoms
Remorse
guilt
may cause fear rather than respect
42
Facts about anger
Anger is not




A reflex
Automatic
Caused by others

43

Anger is
 A result of thinking
 a choice
 controlled by your own
thinking
What Is Anger Management

Anger management refers to therapeutic
strategies that allow people to overcome
excess feelings of anger.
It help to control destructive impulse
that anger may cause.

44
Benefits Of Anger Management
Judgment
 Fewer Disputes
 Closer And More Healthy Relationships
 Better Communication
 Stress


45
Anger can make you ill
When we are angry
 The body releases stress hormones, such as
adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol.
 The heart rate, blood pressure, body
temperature and breathing rate increase.
 Regular episodes of anger can eventually
make people ill.
46
47
Questions to Ask Yourself When Angry









Am I angry at the right person?
Am I angry for the right reasons?
Do I have the right amount of angry?
Is the anger causing situation within my control?
Would I still be angry in a week, month, or year from now?
Do I have any physical conditions such as pain, fatigue, or
mental illness that are leading me to be angry?
What action can I take that will likely have the most positive
outcome?

48
Do I need help
The following may indicate that you need anger management
help
 You have numerous arguments with people around you,
especially your partner, parents, children or colleagues.
 You find yourself involved in fights.
 You hit your partner or children.
 You threaten violence to people or property.
 You lose your temper when driving and become reckless.
 You think that perhaps you do need help.

49
50
Anger Management
Its not them, its you

51
Does everybody experience
anger?



Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going
to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to
you. And that matters, because how you act leads to
consequences.
52
EVERYBODY GETS ANGRY
That’s just how it is.
The difference comes in what you do about
it.




SO:

53

GET A GRIP!!!
54
55
56


Remember that getting angry is not going to
fix anything, and it won't make you feel better.
Uncontrolled anger may actually make you
feel worse. Learn to control your anger and
don't let anger control you.

57



Eating rat poison and wait for rat to die.
Container that hold lava hurts most and
container on that lava falling temporary hurts.

58
Anger Management
Skills

59
Rational Emotive Behavioral
Therapy (REBT)

60
REBT



Albert Ellis by REBT
It is humanistic approach that emphasis
individual s’ capacity for creating their own
self enhancing and self-defeating emotion.

61
Goals of REBT




Minimize emotion disturbance, decrease the
self- defeating behavior and become happier.
REBT teach how to deal with negative
feelings such as: aggression

62
ABC Model




A:Activating event
B:Belief about the event.
C:Beliefs will lead to the consequences.

63
ABC Model




ABC Model helps people understand the
connection between the belief and
consequences.
The ABC Model shows that A does no cause
C. It is B that cause C.

64
Example





A:Your best friend has not attend your phone
calls for several days.
B:You think______.
C:What is the consequences of that belief?

65
Three Core Demands(Must)


Self-Demand:
I must do well and approved by significant others.



Other-Demand:
I must be treated fairly by other. Other are damnable
( Hateful) if they do not treat me fairly.



Demands of the world/life condition:
Life condition must be absolutely the way that I want
them to be.
66
Ways of Thinking




There are two ways of thinking.
Irrational way of thinking
Rational way of thinking

67
Irrational way of thinking






Inconsistent with the reality.
Lack empirically validity.
Illogical.
Non flexible.
Demanding. State demands rather then a desire

68
Rational Thinking






Consistent with reality.
Empirically validity
Logical
Flexible
Preferential: Express a desire not a demand

69






Now check your rational and irrational
thoughts and decide which is better for you.
Accept that you are not God or people are not
your reborts, both of you are human beings
If one make mistakes, other have to accept it,
forgive it for betterment

70
According to Islam
Motive of REBT is to realize you are destructive
to yourself.
“Don’t with your own hand cart yourself into
destruction.” S2 -V195

71


“Nay whoever submits himself entirely to
Allah and he is a doer of good to others, he has
his reward from his Lord and there is no fear
for such nor shall they grieve.” S2-V112

72




ABC of personal happiness is that if
something happens at Activating event you
would not be disturbed by consequence, if you
have complete Belief or faith in Allah.
“Oh you do believe! Endure and be more
patient.”
73
Demandingness Vs preferences:






Concept of prayer in Islam is same a concept of
having a preference in REBT.
“Allah doesn’t change the situation of any group of
people, unless they change what is in themselves.” S
2:V59
Demand, must and should thinking are main kinds of
irrational believes that lead to disturbance

74




From Islamic perspective, you have complete
faith in Allah, you don’t demand for the things
in life, you only pray.
“You may not grieve for what escapes you nor
rejoice in what has come to you.”S57:V22

75
Concept of frustration tolerance








Accept others as they are, is unconditional
acceptance. It is irrational to complain.
According to REBT decrease frustration tolerance
stems for demands for ease and comfort and reflect an
intolerance and discomfort. 3 Categories of Sabar
1.Tarakus Sabaraa---lowest form
2. Ar riddha bil-beelah---moderate
3. Ash shukr alalbeelah--- highest form

76
Concept of Self Verbalization


Negative verbalize with yourself and use
recitation and prayers.

77
Forgive others





Adopt flexible approach to various
imperfections in life and to be tolerant.
Allah is enough/sufficient for us, where there
is a room for forgiveness, there is no room for
hatred and violence.

78




Standard your problems with the problem of
your role mode (Holy Prophet peace be upon
him)
When you compare your problems with Hazrat
Muhammad peace be upon him you realize
that you have no problem.

79
80


Several Cures for Anger from the Sunnah
1. To say "Audhu billahi minashaytan
nirajim." [Bukhari, Muslim]
2. If he is standing, then he should sit. If the
anger fails to subside, then he should lie down.
[Abu Dawood]
3. A person should remain silent. [Imam
Ahmad]
81


4. Make wudhu. [Abu Dawood]
5. Make ghusl [Abu Nuaim]
6. Remembering the rewards and virtues of
patience, mercy and forgiveness.

82
83
DEALING WITH ANGER


It's Not Always Easy, but it is Possible

84
When you are ANGRY and UPSET

remember…

1-2-3 TURTLE

85
1 – Go inside your shell



THINK before you ACT
Take a “Time Out”

86
2 – Take 3 Deep Breaths



Time to RELAX
Calm yourself down

87
3 – Walk Away


Think of a good solution

88
Techniques
Take a break as
soon as you
recognize
that you're angry


89


Breathe deeply

90








Take a really deep breath.
Bring the air all the way into the bottom of
your lungs near your stomach
Breathe in through your nose.
Hold for 2 seconds.
Breathe out through your mouth for 4 seconds.
Practice!
91


Go to a "happy place

92


Practice positive self-talk

93
Ask for the
Support of
someone you trust.


94


Engage in physical activity

95
Restructure the
way you think
about your life


96


See a mental health professional

97
Meditating calms
the mind and helps
you with your problems


98
99


Clench up your hand

100
Get active. Instead
of taking it out
on people or
yourself, take it
out on your
bike or exercising


101


Get a stress ball

102
Start going to
anger management
class


103


Find the funniest thing you can (youtube
has a lot of hilarious videos)

104


Listen to music

105


Try writing in a diary about your anger

106
Eat something
you love that
is healthy


107






Accept what you cannot change &
change what you cannot accept.
Nobody can make you angry without
your consent
Anger is a luxury in which only men
of abundant means or absolutely no
means can indulge.
108


Make fists to tense both fingers and hands. Now
tense. Notice how your hands feel, so tight and tense.
Hold it for about fifteen seconds. Then take a breath
and let go of your muscles as you exhale, letting go
of the tension. Notice the relaxation flowing into the
muscles—how they feel now. Now repeat this a
second time.

109




Raise your shoulders up to your ears (a severe
shoulder shrug).
Push your head back into the back support to
tense the muscles of your neck. Forcefully
push your tongue up against the roof of your
mouth to tense the anterior (front) part of your
neck and throat area.
110




Raise your eyebrows as high as you can and
feel the pulling of your forehead muscles.
After two repetitions, pull the muscles down in
a forceful frown (eyebrows in a V shape).
Pull your abdomen in as if toward your spine
as tightly as you can, holding the tension.

111


Curl your toes (scrunching them) while tensing your
feet and1. Make fists to tense both fingers and hands.
Now tense. Notice how your hands feel, so tight and
tense. Hold it for about fifteen seconds. Then take a
breath and let go of your muscles as you exhale,
letting go of the tension. Notice the relaxation
flowing into the muscles—how they feel now. Now
repeat this a second time.

112


Tense your calves by extending your legs off
the floor and raising your toes as if trying to
touch your knees.

113
References
(2005).The Surprising Purpose of Anger beyond Anger Management:
Puddle Dancer Press
Greene , I., (2003).ANGER MANAGEMENT SKILLS FOR WOMEN
(2007). Anger Management for Dummies. United States of America: Wiley Publishing.
Anger Management Best Practice Handbook Controlling Anger Before it Controls You
Woodruff, J., (N.D). Anger Management Proven Techniques and Exercises.
(2004 ) Controlling Anger Before it Controls You Anger Management Proven Techniques and
Exercises. New York London: The Guilford Press A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc.

114

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Anger managemnnt

  • 1. Anger and its Management 1
  • 2. 2
  • 3. What is Anger? Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage." 3
  • 4. Anger    Is an emotion Is common to every person Is found in all temperaments 4
  • 6. Fight, Flight or Freeze  Three instinctual responses when faced with an angry or aggressive individual. 6
  • 7. How do you experience anger? 7
  • 8. How do you feel it physically and emotionally?  What changes do you notice in yourself when you become angry? __________________ __________________ __________________  8 Complete the checklist on the next slide.
  • 9. Objectives:     1. 2. 3. 4. 9 Identify your anger triggers Know your anger cues Know your anger style Deal with your anger effectively
  • 10. TRIGGERS What bugs you?  Something that happens that makes you angry  What triggers you does not always trigger someone else. 10
  • 11.  Psychologists often call that “right before” event a “trigger.”  The scene has been set by previous events and your mood, and then something triggers your response of anger. 11
  • 12.  For example, maybe you have had a bad morning…got up late and felt groggy, spilled coffee and had to change your shirt, tired from the day before, a little worried about a paper you need to write…and then, the trigger: someone cuts you off in traffic. 12
  • 13. Thoughts Matter  Triggers are accompanied by thoughts, including thoughts that you have so quickly that they are almost automatic and you may not even notice them. 13
  • 14. 1. You have the highest average on social studies tests, but when report cards are handed out, the teacher gives someone else a higher grade than you because he participates in class more than you do. a. b. c. 14 not at all angry somewhat angry very angry
  • 15. 2. Your best friend has a secret that she tells to two other friends but not to you. a. b. c. 15 not at all angry somewhat angry very angry
  • 16. 3. Someone in your class spreads a rumor about you. a. b. c. 16 not at all angry somewhat angry very angry
  • 17. 4. Your older sister keeps interrupting you when you’re trying to tell your mom something. a. b. c. 17 not at all angry somewhat angry very angry
  • 18. 5. At the pizza place, you have to wait ten minutes before your order is taken because the man behind the counter has served two people who came in after you. a. b. c. 18 not at all angry somewhat angry very angry
  • 19. MAKE A LIST    19 If you know your anger triggers, then you can either: 1. Try to avoid them 2. Learn how to deal with them.
  • 20. Clenched fist Loud voice Racing & pounding heartbeat Sweat 20  Your body sends you signals, when you’re getting angry. Red face Upset stomach
  • 21. Complete the Checklist  What are your anger cues? 21
  • 22. What’s your anger style?  When your anger is triggered, you’re going to react in some way. The way you react is called your ANGER STYLE. Dumping Acting Out Burying 22
  • 23. ACTING OUT    23 Easiest to recognize It’s when you strike out at the person you are mad at: physically or verbally. YOU’RE OUT OF CONTROL!!!!
  • 25. DUMPING DISPLACED ANGER  Shifting your feelings to someone you feel it’s safe to be mad at.  Ex. Guy gets mad at his boss, comes home & yells at his wife, who yells at the kids, who kick the dog!! 25
  • 26. Consequences  You hurt innocent people  Problem is not solved 26
  • 27. BURYING (ignoring)     When you hold your anger down inside yourself because you think it isn’t nice to have those feelings. Denying your angry isn’t dealing with it. It can come out in other ways: headaches, stomachaches, anxious, depressed One day you might explode!! 27
  • 28. Consequences  You hurt yourself  You may hurt others when you EXPLODE  Problem is not solved 28
  • 29. Expectation breeds frustration. Frustration breeds anger. 29
  • 30. . There are two choices  You stay angry---------- nothing good happen  Feel calm---------------anger is fixated 30 .
  • 31. Why do we get angry?  “We are predisposed to become angry when we appraise an event or a person as a threat to one of our basic needs such as food or shelter, or more mature needs such as identity, recognition, achievement, and social affiliation.” 31
  • 32. When do you get angry? 32
  • 33.  Think about these reactions.  Are they good for you—your health? your relationships? Your success at school and in life? 33
  • 34. How Do You Act When Angry?  How do you typically act when angry? __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ 34
  • 35. ?  Do you…          Show it on your face? Grit your teeth? Grin? Turn red? Criticize the “cause” of your anger? Physically attack the “cause” of your anger? Curse or Swear? Walk out? Withdraw from others? 35          Yell or Shout? Complain? Clench your fists? Make aggressive gestures? Threaten others? Punch or Throw objects? Stomp your feet? Slam doors? Brood?
  • 36.  What are the short term effects? ___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________  For example: Do you experience relief?  Do you become angrier? Depressed?  Does your anger influence other situations you encounter or your interactions with others?  36
  • 37. ?  What are the long term effects?  For example:    37 Do you become angry again in a similar situation? Do you continue to experience the same problem as before? Are there significant long term effects, such as lost friendships or jobs, a drinking problem, or a court appearance?
  • 38. Out-of-control anger leads to a pattern of negative behavior that can hurt your relationships, career, even your mental and physical health. 38
  • 39. Can Anger be a Positive?  Although anger is often viewed as a negative feeling, it can be used in a positive way…    39 Anger provides cues that there is a problem Anger provides energy and can help motivate action Anger encourages the expression of feelings
  • 40. 40
  • 41. Advantages of Anger     Feelings of power Self righteous Get people’s attention Make them do what you want 41
  • 42. Disadvantages of anger    Physical symptoms Tension Fatigue psychological symptoms Remorse guilt may cause fear rather than respect 42
  • 43. Facts about anger Anger is not    A reflex Automatic Caused by others 43 Anger is  A result of thinking  a choice  controlled by your own thinking
  • 44. What Is Anger Management Anger management refers to therapeutic strategies that allow people to overcome excess feelings of anger. It help to control destructive impulse that anger may cause. 44
  • 45. Benefits Of Anger Management Judgment  Fewer Disputes  Closer And More Healthy Relationships  Better Communication  Stress  45
  • 46. Anger can make you ill When we are angry  The body releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol.  The heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature and breathing rate increase.  Regular episodes of anger can eventually make people ill. 46
  • 47. 47
  • 48. Questions to Ask Yourself When Angry        Am I angry at the right person? Am I angry for the right reasons? Do I have the right amount of angry? Is the anger causing situation within my control? Would I still be angry in a week, month, or year from now? Do I have any physical conditions such as pain, fatigue, or mental illness that are leading me to be angry? What action can I take that will likely have the most positive outcome? 48
  • 49. Do I need help The following may indicate that you need anger management help  You have numerous arguments with people around you, especially your partner, parents, children or colleagues.  You find yourself involved in fights.  You hit your partner or children.  You threaten violence to people or property.  You lose your temper when driving and become reckless.  You think that perhaps you do need help. 49
  • 50. 50
  • 51. Anger Management Its not them, its you 51
  • 52. Does everybody experience anger?  Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to you. And that matters, because how you act leads to consequences. 52
  • 53. EVERYBODY GETS ANGRY That’s just how it is. The difference comes in what you do about it.   SO: 53 GET A GRIP!!!
  • 54. 54
  • 55. 55
  • 56. 56
  • 57.  Remember that getting angry is not going to fix anything, and it won't make you feel better. Uncontrolled anger may actually make you feel worse. Learn to control your anger and don't let anger control you. 57
  • 58.   Eating rat poison and wait for rat to die. Container that hold lava hurts most and container on that lava falling temporary hurts. 58
  • 61. REBT   Albert Ellis by REBT It is humanistic approach that emphasis individual s’ capacity for creating their own self enhancing and self-defeating emotion. 61
  • 62. Goals of REBT   Minimize emotion disturbance, decrease the self- defeating behavior and become happier. REBT teach how to deal with negative feelings such as: aggression 62
  • 63. ABC Model    A:Activating event B:Belief about the event. C:Beliefs will lead to the consequences. 63
  • 64. ABC Model   ABC Model helps people understand the connection between the belief and consequences. The ABC Model shows that A does no cause C. It is B that cause C. 64
  • 65. Example    A:Your best friend has not attend your phone calls for several days. B:You think______. C:What is the consequences of that belief? 65
  • 66. Three Core Demands(Must)  Self-Demand: I must do well and approved by significant others.  Other-Demand: I must be treated fairly by other. Other are damnable ( Hateful) if they do not treat me fairly.  Demands of the world/life condition: Life condition must be absolutely the way that I want them to be. 66
  • 67. Ways of Thinking    There are two ways of thinking. Irrational way of thinking Rational way of thinking 67
  • 68. Irrational way of thinking      Inconsistent with the reality. Lack empirically validity. Illogical. Non flexible. Demanding. State demands rather then a desire 68
  • 69. Rational Thinking      Consistent with reality. Empirically validity Logical Flexible Preferential: Express a desire not a demand 69
  • 70.    Now check your rational and irrational thoughts and decide which is better for you. Accept that you are not God or people are not your reborts, both of you are human beings If one make mistakes, other have to accept it, forgive it for betterment 70
  • 71. According to Islam Motive of REBT is to realize you are destructive to yourself. “Don’t with your own hand cart yourself into destruction.” S2 -V195 71
  • 72.  “Nay whoever submits himself entirely to Allah and he is a doer of good to others, he has his reward from his Lord and there is no fear for such nor shall they grieve.” S2-V112 72
  • 73.   ABC of personal happiness is that if something happens at Activating event you would not be disturbed by consequence, if you have complete Belief or faith in Allah. “Oh you do believe! Endure and be more patient.” 73
  • 74. Demandingness Vs preferences:    Concept of prayer in Islam is same a concept of having a preference in REBT. “Allah doesn’t change the situation of any group of people, unless they change what is in themselves.” S 2:V59 Demand, must and should thinking are main kinds of irrational believes that lead to disturbance 74
  • 75.   From Islamic perspective, you have complete faith in Allah, you don’t demand for the things in life, you only pray. “You may not grieve for what escapes you nor rejoice in what has come to you.”S57:V22 75
  • 76. Concept of frustration tolerance      Accept others as they are, is unconditional acceptance. It is irrational to complain. According to REBT decrease frustration tolerance stems for demands for ease and comfort and reflect an intolerance and discomfort. 3 Categories of Sabar 1.Tarakus Sabaraa---lowest form 2. Ar riddha bil-beelah---moderate 3. Ash shukr alalbeelah--- highest form 76
  • 77. Concept of Self Verbalization  Negative verbalize with yourself and use recitation and prayers. 77
  • 78. Forgive others   Adopt flexible approach to various imperfections in life and to be tolerant. Allah is enough/sufficient for us, where there is a room for forgiveness, there is no room for hatred and violence. 78
  • 79.   Standard your problems with the problem of your role mode (Holy Prophet peace be upon him) When you compare your problems with Hazrat Muhammad peace be upon him you realize that you have no problem. 79
  • 80. 80
  • 81.  Several Cures for Anger from the Sunnah 1. To say "Audhu billahi minashaytan nirajim." [Bukhari, Muslim] 2. If he is standing, then he should sit. If the anger fails to subside, then he should lie down. [Abu Dawood] 3. A person should remain silent. [Imam Ahmad] 81
  • 82.  4. Make wudhu. [Abu Dawood] 5. Make ghusl [Abu Nuaim] 6. Remembering the rewards and virtues of patience, mercy and forgiveness. 82
  • 83. 83
  • 84. DEALING WITH ANGER  It's Not Always Easy, but it is Possible 84
  • 85. When you are ANGRY and UPSET remember… 1-2-3 TURTLE 85
  • 86. 1 – Go inside your shell   THINK before you ACT Take a “Time Out” 86
  • 87. 2 – Take 3 Deep Breaths   Time to RELAX Calm yourself down 87
  • 88. 3 – Walk Away  Think of a good solution 88
  • 89. Techniques Take a break as soon as you recognize that you're angry  89
  • 91.       Take a really deep breath. Bring the air all the way into the bottom of your lungs near your stomach Breathe in through your nose. Hold for 2 seconds. Breathe out through your mouth for 4 seconds. Practice! 91
  • 92.  Go to a "happy place 92
  • 94. Ask for the Support of someone you trust.  94
  • 95.  Engage in physical activity 95
  • 96. Restructure the way you think about your life  96
  • 97.  See a mental health professional 97
  • 98. Meditating calms the mind and helps you with your problems  98
  • 99. 99
  • 100.  Clench up your hand 100
  • 101. Get active. Instead of taking it out on people or yourself, take it out on your bike or exercising  101
  • 102.  Get a stress ball 102
  • 103. Start going to anger management class  103
  • 104.  Find the funniest thing you can (youtube has a lot of hilarious videos) 104
  • 106.  Try writing in a diary about your anger 106
  • 107. Eat something you love that is healthy  107
  • 108.    Accept what you cannot change & change what you cannot accept. Nobody can make you angry without your consent Anger is a luxury in which only men of abundant means or absolutely no means can indulge. 108
  • 109.  Make fists to tense both fingers and hands. Now tense. Notice how your hands feel, so tight and tense. Hold it for about fifteen seconds. Then take a breath and let go of your muscles as you exhale, letting go of the tension. Notice the relaxation flowing into the muscles—how they feel now. Now repeat this a second time. 109
  • 110.   Raise your shoulders up to your ears (a severe shoulder shrug). Push your head back into the back support to tense the muscles of your neck. Forcefully push your tongue up against the roof of your mouth to tense the anterior (front) part of your neck and throat area. 110
  • 111.   Raise your eyebrows as high as you can and feel the pulling of your forehead muscles. After two repetitions, pull the muscles down in a forceful frown (eyebrows in a V shape). Pull your abdomen in as if toward your spine as tightly as you can, holding the tension. 111
  • 112.  Curl your toes (scrunching them) while tensing your feet and1. Make fists to tense both fingers and hands. Now tense. Notice how your hands feel, so tight and tense. Hold it for about fifteen seconds. Then take a breath and let go of your muscles as you exhale, letting go of the tension. Notice the relaxation flowing into the muscles—how they feel now. Now repeat this a second time. 112
  • 113.  Tense your calves by extending your legs off the floor and raising your toes as if trying to touch your knees. 113
  • 114. References (2005).The Surprising Purpose of Anger beyond Anger Management: Puddle Dancer Press Greene , I., (2003).ANGER MANAGEMENT SKILLS FOR WOMEN (2007). Anger Management for Dummies. United States of America: Wiley Publishing. Anger Management Best Practice Handbook Controlling Anger Before it Controls You Woodruff, J., (N.D). Anger Management Proven Techniques and Exercises. (2004 ) Controlling Anger Before it Controls You Anger Management Proven Techniques and Exercises. New York London: The Guilford Press A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc. 114

Editor's Notes

  1. Fight’ back – verbally or physically ‘Flight’ – retreat, back away ‘Freeze’ – ‘shut down’ or feel emotionally numb.
  2. co