8. How do you feel it physically and
emotionally?
What changes do you notice in yourself when you
become angry?
__________________
__________________
__________________
8
Complete the checklist on the next slide.
11.
Psychologists often call that “right before”
event a “trigger.”
The scene has been set by previous events and
your mood, and then something triggers your
response of anger.
11
12.
For example, maybe you have had a bad
morning…got up late and felt groggy, spilled
coffee and had to change your shirt, tired from
the day before, a little worried about a paper
you need to write…and then, the trigger:
someone cuts you off in traffic.
12
13. Thoughts Matter
Triggers are accompanied by thoughts,
including thoughts that you have so quickly
that they are almost automatic and you may
not even notice them.
13
14. 1. You have the highest average on social
studies tests, but when report cards are
handed out, the teacher gives someone else
a higher grade than you because he
participates in class more than you do.
a.
b.
c.
14
not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
15. 2. Your best friend has a secret
that she tells to two other friends
but not to you.
a.
b.
c.
15
not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
16. 3. Someone in your class
spreads a rumor about you.
a.
b.
c.
16
not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
17. 4. Your older sister keeps
interrupting you when you’re
trying to tell your mom
something.
a.
b.
c.
17
not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
18. 5. At the pizza place, you have to wait
ten minutes before your order is taken
because the man behind the counter
has served two people who came in
after you.
a.
b.
c.
18
not at all angry
somewhat angry
very angry
19. MAKE A LIST
19
If you know your
anger triggers, then
you can either:
1. Try to avoid them
2. Learn how to
deal with them.
20. Clenched fist
Loud voice
Racing &
pounding
heartbeat
Sweat
20
Your
body
sends you
signals,
when
you’re
getting
angry.
Red face
Upset
stomach
22. What’s your anger style?
When your anger is triggered, you’re going to
react in some way. The way you react is
called your ANGER STYLE.
Dumping
Acting Out
Burying
22
23. ACTING OUT
23
Easiest to recognize
It’s when you strike out at
the person you are mad
at: physically or verbally.
YOU’RE OUT OF
CONTROL!!!!
25. DUMPING
DISPLACED ANGER
Shifting your feelings to
someone you feel it’s safe to
be mad at.
Ex. Guy gets mad at his
boss, comes home & yells at
his wife, who yells at the
kids, who kick the dog!!
25
27. BURYING (ignoring)
When you hold your anger down inside
yourself because you think it isn’t nice to have
those feelings.
Denying your angry isn’t dealing with it.
It can come out in other ways: headaches,
stomachaches, anxious, depressed
One day you might explode!!
27
30. .
There are two choices
You stay angry---------- nothing good happen
Feel calm---------------anger is fixated
30
.
31. Why do we get angry?
“We are predisposed to become angry when
we appraise an event or a person as a threat to
one of our basic needs such as food or shelter,
or more mature needs such as identity,
recognition, achievement, and social
affiliation.”
31
33.
Think about these reactions.
Are they good for you—your health?
your relationships? Your success at
school and in life?
33
34. How Do You Act When Angry?
How do you typically act when angry?
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
34
35. ?
Do you…
Show it on your face?
Grit your teeth?
Grin?
Turn red?
Criticize the “cause” of
your anger?
Physically attack the
“cause” of your anger?
Curse or Swear?
Walk out?
Withdraw from others?
35
Yell or Shout?
Complain?
Clench your fists?
Make aggressive
gestures?
Threaten others?
Punch or Throw objects?
Stomp your feet?
Slam doors?
Brood?
36.
What are the short term effects?
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
For example:
Do you experience relief?
Do you become angrier? Depressed?
Does your anger influence other situations
you encounter or your interactions with
others?
36
37. ?
What are the long term effects?
For example:
37
Do you become angry again in a similar situation?
Do you continue to experience the same problem as before?
Are there significant long term effects, such as lost friendships
or jobs, a drinking problem, or a court appearance?
38. Out-of-control anger leads to a pattern of
negative behavior that can hurt your
relationships, career, even your mental and
physical health.
38
39. Can Anger be a Positive?
Although anger is often viewed as a negative
feeling, it can be used in a positive way…
39
Anger provides cues that there is a problem
Anger provides energy and can help motivate
action
Anger encourages the expression of feelings
43. Facts about anger
Anger is not
A reflex
Automatic
Caused by others
43
Anger is
A result of thinking
a choice
controlled by your own
thinking
44. What Is Anger Management
Anger management refers to therapeutic
strategies that allow people to overcome
excess feelings of anger.
It help to control destructive impulse
that anger may cause.
44
45. Benefits Of Anger Management
Judgment
Fewer Disputes
Closer And More Healthy Relationships
Better Communication
Stress
45
46. Anger can make you ill
When we are angry
The body releases stress hormones, such as
adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol.
The heart rate, blood pressure, body
temperature and breathing rate increase.
Regular episodes of anger can eventually
make people ill.
46
48. Questions to Ask Yourself When Angry
Am I angry at the right person?
Am I angry for the right reasons?
Do I have the right amount of angry?
Is the anger causing situation within my control?
Would I still be angry in a week, month, or year from now?
Do I have any physical conditions such as pain, fatigue, or
mental illness that are leading me to be angry?
What action can I take that will likely have the most positive
outcome?
48
49. Do I need help
The following may indicate that you need anger management
help
You have numerous arguments with people around you,
especially your partner, parents, children or colleagues.
You find yourself involved in fights.
You hit your partner or children.
You threaten violence to people or property.
You lose your temper when driving and become reckless.
You think that perhaps you do need help.
49
52. Does everybody experience
anger?
Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going
to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to
you. And that matters, because how you act leads to
consequences.
52
53. EVERYBODY GETS ANGRY
That’s just how it is.
The difference comes in what you do about
it.
SO:
53
GET A GRIP!!!
57.
Remember that getting angry is not going to
fix anything, and it won't make you feel better.
Uncontrolled anger may actually make you
feel worse. Learn to control your anger and
don't let anger control you.
57
58.
Eating rat poison and wait for rat to die.
Container that hold lava hurts most and
container on that lava falling temporary hurts.
58
61. REBT
Albert Ellis by REBT
It is humanistic approach that emphasis
individual s’ capacity for creating their own
self enhancing and self-defeating emotion.
61
62. Goals of REBT
Minimize emotion disturbance, decrease the
self- defeating behavior and become happier.
REBT teach how to deal with negative
feelings such as: aggression
62
64. ABC Model
ABC Model helps people understand the
connection between the belief and
consequences.
The ABC Model shows that A does no cause
C. It is B that cause C.
64
65. Example
A:Your best friend has not attend your phone
calls for several days.
B:You think______.
C:What is the consequences of that belief?
65
66. Three Core Demands(Must)
Self-Demand:
I must do well and approved by significant others.
Other-Demand:
I must be treated fairly by other. Other are damnable
( Hateful) if they do not treat me fairly.
Demands of the world/life condition:
Life condition must be absolutely the way that I want
them to be.
66
68. Irrational way of thinking
Inconsistent with the reality.
Lack empirically validity.
Illogical.
Non flexible.
Demanding. State demands rather then a desire
68
70.
Now check your rational and irrational
thoughts and decide which is better for you.
Accept that you are not God or people are not
your reborts, both of you are human beings
If one make mistakes, other have to accept it,
forgive it for betterment
70
71. According to Islam
Motive of REBT is to realize you are destructive
to yourself.
“Don’t with your own hand cart yourself into
destruction.” S2 -V195
71
72.
“Nay whoever submits himself entirely to
Allah and he is a doer of good to others, he has
his reward from his Lord and there is no fear
for such nor shall they grieve.” S2-V112
72
73.
ABC of personal happiness is that if
something happens at Activating event you
would not be disturbed by consequence, if you
have complete Belief or faith in Allah.
“Oh you do believe! Endure and be more
patient.”
73
74. Demandingness Vs preferences:
Concept of prayer in Islam is same a concept of
having a preference in REBT.
“Allah doesn’t change the situation of any group of
people, unless they change what is in themselves.” S
2:V59
Demand, must and should thinking are main kinds of
irrational believes that lead to disturbance
74
75.
From Islamic perspective, you have complete
faith in Allah, you don’t demand for the things
in life, you only pray.
“You may not grieve for what escapes you nor
rejoice in what has come to you.”S57:V22
75
76. Concept of frustration tolerance
Accept others as they are, is unconditional
acceptance. It is irrational to complain.
According to REBT decrease frustration tolerance
stems for demands for ease and comfort and reflect an
intolerance and discomfort. 3 Categories of Sabar
1.Tarakus Sabaraa---lowest form
2. Ar riddha bil-beelah---moderate
3. Ash shukr alalbeelah--- highest form
76
77. Concept of Self Verbalization
Negative verbalize with yourself and use
recitation and prayers.
77
78. Forgive others
Adopt flexible approach to various
imperfections in life and to be tolerant.
Allah is enough/sufficient for us, where there
is a room for forgiveness, there is no room for
hatred and violence.
78
79.
Standard your problems with the problem of
your role mode (Holy Prophet peace be upon
him)
When you compare your problems with Hazrat
Muhammad peace be upon him you realize
that you have no problem.
79
81.
Several Cures for Anger from the Sunnah
1. To say "Audhu billahi minashaytan
nirajim." [Bukhari, Muslim]
2. If he is standing, then he should sit. If the
anger fails to subside, then he should lie down.
[Abu Dawood]
3. A person should remain silent. [Imam
Ahmad]
81
82.
4. Make wudhu. [Abu Dawood]
5. Make ghusl [Abu Nuaim]
6. Remembering the rewards and virtues of
patience, mercy and forgiveness.
82
91.
Take a really deep breath.
Bring the air all the way into the bottom of
your lungs near your stomach
Breathe in through your nose.
Hold for 2 seconds.
Breathe out through your mouth for 4 seconds.
Practice!
91
108.
Accept what you cannot change &
change what you cannot accept.
Nobody can make you angry without
your consent
Anger is a luxury in which only men
of abundant means or absolutely no
means can indulge.
108
109.
Make fists to tense both fingers and hands. Now
tense. Notice how your hands feel, so tight and tense.
Hold it for about fifteen seconds. Then take a breath
and let go of your muscles as you exhale, letting go
of the tension. Notice the relaxation flowing into the
muscles—how they feel now. Now repeat this a
second time.
109
110.
Raise your shoulders up to your ears (a severe
shoulder shrug).
Push your head back into the back support to
tense the muscles of your neck. Forcefully
push your tongue up against the roof of your
mouth to tense the anterior (front) part of your
neck and throat area.
110
111.
Raise your eyebrows as high as you can and
feel the pulling of your forehead muscles.
After two repetitions, pull the muscles down in
a forceful frown (eyebrows in a V shape).
Pull your abdomen in as if toward your spine
as tightly as you can, holding the tension.
111
112.
Curl your toes (scrunching them) while tensing your
feet and1. Make fists to tense both fingers and hands.
Now tense. Notice how your hands feel, so tight and
tense. Hold it for about fifteen seconds. Then take a
breath and let go of your muscles as you exhale,
letting go of the tension. Notice the relaxation
flowing into the muscles—how they feel now. Now
repeat this a second time.
112
113.
Tense your calves by extending your legs off
the floor and raising your toes as if trying to
touch your knees.
113
114. References
(2005).The Surprising Purpose of Anger beyond Anger Management:
Puddle Dancer Press
Greene , I., (2003).ANGER MANAGEMENT SKILLS FOR WOMEN
(2007). Anger Management for Dummies. United States of America: Wiley Publishing.
Anger Management Best Practice Handbook Controlling Anger Before it Controls You
Woodruff, J., (N.D). Anger Management Proven Techniques and Exercises.
(2004 ) Controlling Anger Before it Controls You Anger Management Proven Techniques and
Exercises. New York London: The Guilford Press A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc.
114
Editor's Notes
Fight’ back – verbally or physically
‘Flight’ – retreat, back away
‘Freeze’ – ‘shut down’ or feel emotionally numb.