1. Catalyst
THE MAGAZINE OF
HAYES FREE CHURCH (U.R.C.)
April 2013

2. HAYES FREE CHURCH
111, Pickhurst Lane, Hayes, Kent BR2 7HU
Sunday Services. 10.30 a.m. & 6.30 p.m.
We are a member of the United Reformed Church.
We believe in Justice and Peace.
Principal Contacts
Minister: Rev. Sue Powell Tel: 020 8462 2212
Church Secretary: Mrs Mavis Righini Tel: 020 8462 1168
Fabric Steward Mr. Chris Wood Tel: 020 8462 2444
Treasurer: Mr. Simon Narracott Tel: 020 8462 2004
Lettings Secretary: Mrs Undine Connolly Tel: 020 8776 0108
Caretaker: Mr. Ian Jones Tel: 020 8313 1556
Church Website www.hayesfreechurch.com
Catalyst
Editor: Mr Richard Brown
Contents : - Items not covered by the diary of events.
Sunday Services, Doors 2 P.9 continued, Your Page plea 12
Church Notices 3-5 The rain 13
Faith 5 Big Brew,
Absolutely Priceless Jokes 6 The Way things once were 14
Catalyst Needs You 7 We did it - Fairtrade 15
A way forwards, Website of the Month 16
Family history forum message 8 Crime Prevention Advice 17
Financial Security per King David 9 The Perfect Minister 20
Notice Board 10 - 11 Church Organisations IBC
This month’s website: -
The Kent Association for the Blind, which benefited from the Christmas
Post. This charity helps church members and carers.
The charity’s website is www.kab.org.uk
Now, turn to Page 16 for more details....... Ed
Copy for the May 2013 edition needs to be handed in by
Sunday, 14th April.
Please submit items in good time.
You can leave copy in the “B” Pigeon Hole for Richard Brown to collect,
or hand it directly to him on a Sunday morning.
You can also e-mail copy to richardmbrown6@gmail.com
Thank You. Editor

3. Letter from the Minister
Dear Friends
What a joy it is to greet you with the words:
Happy Easter!
Through the season of Lent our Bible readings
have covered the Temptations of Jesus, Jesus being warned to
leave an area for His own safety, the story Jesus told of a fig
tree and one of the Prodigal Son, the anointing of Jesus’ feet, the
sharing of the Passover meal and the story of the crucifixion.
Toward the end there was a depth of drama and controversy that
had the whole community of that time aware of what was going on.
We face a very different problem in our culture and time. People
are not looking for or waiting for Jesus and many have become
indifferent to the local Church.
We should not be disheartened but look on this as a time to go
back to the basics of Christianity: mission, service and evangelism.
Jesus took the initiative and “caused” a stir by many of the things
he did. People were surprised, pleased, excited and some became
angry. Jesus upset the status quo by revealing the real nature of
God and showing how foolish ‘religion’ really was.
Being a Christian is all about how we live, each and every day of our
lives. It is about the choices we make, the decisions we reach, and
how we behave with each other and others.
At Easter we celebrate the resurrection, which is the cornerstone
of all that we believe. The events around the life of Jesus were
and are world changing. As a church, we need to be living that
world changing life that tells others there really is something to
celebrate – a life lived in the fullness of God’s love brings joy to us
and to those around us.
Let us all share the joy of Easter!
Sue
1

4. Sunday Services
April 2013
7th 10.30 am - Morning Service - Dr Clive Timehin
6.30 pm - Holy Communion - Marion Bayley
14th 10.30 am - Parade Service - The Minister
6.30 pm - Evening Service - The Minister
21st 10.30 am - Morning Service - Bill Michie
6.30 pm - Healing Service - The Minister
28th 10.30 am - Holy Communion - The Minister
6.30 pm - Evening Service - Margaret Smith
May 2013
10.30 am - Morning Service - TBA
5th
6.30 pm - Holy Communion - The Minister
Some notes on the visiting preachers.
v Dr. Clive Timehin is a local preacher who comes from Bromley
Methodist Church. He is a member of the Methodist Council
Medical Committee.
v Mrs. Marion Bayley is a Lay Preacher and an Elder from our sister
church in Beckenham. She regularly leads our services.
v Bill Michie is well known to us all. He is a Lay Preacher at HFC.
v Mrs. Margaret Smith is a Methodist Lay Preacher.
DOORS
At last an explanation:
Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to
completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors
themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.
Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have
discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's
known as an event boundary in the mind, separating one
set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files
away the thoughts you had in the previous room and
prepares a blank slate for the new locale.
It's not aging, it's the door!
2

5. News of the Church Family
Announcements are welcome :-
BMD - Changes of address, etc.
Thank you
John Egan, Joyce’s husband, died very
unexpectedly on Saturday, 9th February,
without any suffering. He was 84. The funeral,
conducted by Sue, has already taken place. Joyce and her
daughters would like to thank all who have expressed their
condolences.
Your prayers would be appreciated for: -
Marjorie Curry, Ruth Rees, and Pat Rumble.
Church Meetings
The next Church meeting will be on Sunday 28th April at noon, after
the morning service.
The next Elders’ meeting will be held at 8.00 pm in the small hall on
Tuesday 2nd April.
Women's Contact Group
The Contact Group will meet at 8.00 pm on Monday 8th of April at
Marion Bowman’s home - 26, Stambourne Way, W. Wickham. The May
meeting will take place on Monday 13th of May at Daphne
Cummings’s home - 4, Croft Avenue, West Wickham.
Sylvia Mack
Tuesday Prayer Meetings for April
Held at 10.00 am at the following homes:-
2nd Martin Nunn’s. 9th Betty Coster’s.
16th Brenda Cordingley’s. 23rd The Church
30th Martin Nunn’s.
May
7th Martin Nunn’s.
Please address any queries to Martin Nunn.
Saturday Fellowship
We will meet at 7, Sedgewood Close at 2.30 pm on the 6th of April for
a study in Isaiah. We then meet on the 4th of May. You are welcome
to join us.
Martin Nunn leads the discussions.
3

6. Men's Group
The next Men's Group meeting is an adventure into the unknown with
Bill Michie on Thursday 18 April at 8.00 pm in the small hall.
Ministry of Flowers
Thanks are due to those who will be providing flowers in April 2013
7th - Linda Michie 14th - Mike Duke
21st - TBA 28th - Sylvia and Laurie Mack
A big thank you to those who kindly arrange the flowers when needed.
After the Sunday evening services, the flowers are distributed to
members and friends, bringing joy to the recipients.
Mavis Righini
Hayes Mothers’ & Toddlers’ Club
We welcome all babies and children under school age, accompanied
by their parents, grandparents or carers, to our club on Friday
afternoons between 2 and 4 pm during term time. The fee is £1 per
family – tea, squash and biscuits are provided.
This is a time when adults can meet up, while the children in their care
are busy playing with toys and activities in the company of other
children.
Our Spring term ended on Friday March 22nd.
We meet again for the Summer term on Friday April 19th.
We look forward to seeing you all.
Judith Stoner - Secretary.
Bible Study Group
The Bible Study group meets on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of each
month at 2.30 pm in the small hall.
To confirm, listen for announcements & check Sunday Link.
Worship Group
The Church will be open for Quiet Meditation & Prayer every
Wednesday - 6.00 - 7.00 pm.
To confirm, listen for announcements & check Sunday Link.
If tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made of?
4

7. Notice Sheets - April, & 1st Sunday in May
7th Brenda Cordingley 8462 3867
14th Brenda Cordingley
21st Pam Collison 8658 0748
28th Pam Collison
May
5th Joan Smith 8462 3920
If you require items to be included in the notice sheets, please contact
the appropriate person by the previous Tuesday.
Women's Fellowship
M eetings are in the small hall at 2.00 p.m., unless otherwise stated,
on Tuesdays and finish about 3.30 p.m.
The April meetings will be: -
23rd Opening Service taken by Sue
30th My work as a policewoman in the 1950's
by Eileen Crichton
Then, in May the first meeting will be: -
7th The Crystal Palace by Barry Mckay.
If you have any questions, do contact Sylvia Mack on 8462 1938.
MINI-AMBULANCE
Members who use the mini-ambulance are asked to phone Sylvia Mack on
8462 1938 by 9.00 am on any Tuesday when they are unable to come to
the meetings.
As always, we welcome all ladies to our meetings . Please come along for
a pleasant afternoon. We do have a very varied programme with plenty
to interest everyone.
Marion and Sylvia
Faith
A little girl flying in an aeroplane during a storm said that she is not
frightened because her daddy is the pilot.
He is in control and will take her home.
Don’t worry. Perhaps we should think of God, our Father, who will
take us home, when the need arises.
5

8. Absolutely Priceless
UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his
sermon.
One day, she asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant
of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good
sermon.'
'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.
________________________________
BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What
does she say?'
The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'
________________________________
UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle
from one of the back pews.
Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and,
after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a
thing?'
Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and
He did!'
________________________________
TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
'Yes, sir.' the boy replied.
'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor
asked.
'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I’m not scared in the daytime.'
6

9. Catalyst Needs You!
This page will be kept for YOUR contributions - NOTHING ELSE will go on this page.
Hopefully, you will be inspired to share some Christmas / New Year break stories.
SUPPORT AT HOME
If you are living independently at home, but getting older
and would like help with household tasks, meals,
shopping or transport; or would like help using your
computer, pursuing indoor interests or getting out by
wheelchair or by car; or would like to give a break to
someone who usually looks after you; or would like help
with something not mentioned here - please get in touch
with me. My goal is to maintain your independent lifestyle
with a kind and committed service.
Christopher White 020 8149 6933 or
pjm741-rose@yahoo.co.uk
Printer Ink Cartridges
If anyone uses an Epsom
printer that takes black
TO611, Cyan TO612,
Magenta TO613, Yellow
TO614 all with the picture of
a teddy bear on the front,
then Sue has some to pass
along!
7

10. A way forwards
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his
father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal: 'You bring your grades up from a C
to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then
we'll talk about the car.'
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the
offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said. 'Son, you've brought your grades
up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm
disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.’
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've
noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the
Baptist had long hair. Moses had long hair ... and there's even strong
evidence that Jesus had long hair.'
You're going to love the Dad's reply: -
His father replied, 'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere
they went?’
Margaret Alan
A message on a Lincolnshire family history forum
Hi, Missing Lincs,
Now that we are past Valentine's Day, with the commercial emphasis
on cards and candy, I want each of you to reach out to a relative
and give them a hug. It can be an electronic one, a written one, or
a real one. Ask forgiveness for having been out of touch, ask how
they are doing, tell them about your latest family history "find", etc.
But stay in touch.
My mother once went 25 years without speaking to her brother. It
wasn't Sibling rivalry, it was just the routines of daily living. "Not having
anything to say," she once said. I got her a phone card as a present
and told her to call his number, which she did. She cried a lot that
first call. But it started something and they stayed in touch afterward,
even though they lived a world apart.
What will it take to get you to carve out some time to stay in touch
with your family?
Lou (list admin.)
8

11. FINANCIAL SECURITY ACCORDING TO KING DAVID
The money markets of the world are in turmoil. This affects each one of
us - our pensions, our plans, our job. And it affects the church and its
mission. It forces us to ask the question: 'Where is my security?'
In 1923 the eight most powerful financiers in the world met in Chicago.
Their combined wealth was greater than the US treasury. If anyone
knew about financial security it was this group! So what can we learn
from them?
One died penniless, one spent the rest of his life in prison, one became
insolvent, one was pardoned from prison so he could die at home,
and the other three killed themselves.
King David of Israel offers much better financial advice, from a proven
track record. Psalm 16 may be used for personal meditation and
direction:
v1 Keep me safe, 0 God, for in you I take refuge. Where is your
security? Is it in your finances, your job, your family, your health?
Jesus told of a rich man who said he was so secure he could take
his rest. But Jesus said he was a fool.
v2 I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good
thing.” As you think of your family and your future, dare you say
'Lord, my welfare rests in you alone'?
· Any thing we hold on to for security robs us of true security in God.
v3 As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in
whom is all my delight. v4 The sorrows of those will increase who
run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or
take up their names on my lips. David is comforted to have
friends who take the same approach as himself.
· Where do you look for advice and direction for you and your
children?
v5 Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup: you have
made my lot secure.
v6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I
have a delightful inheritance. Do you realise God cares in detail
about all your needs? The Bible offers 500 verses on prayer; less
than 500 verses on faith, but more than 2,000 verses on money
and possessions. In the Gospels, one in every 10 verses (288 in all)
deals directly with money.
· Do you follow this guidance to find security?
Continued on page 12 . . . . . .
9

12. NOTICE
We believe in life before death
Christian Aid Week 12 - 18 May 2013
Every year during Christian Aid Week 300,000 people from across
the country are united in the UK’s biggest house-to-house collection,
reaching millions of people with messages about beating poverty.
We are one of 20 churches in the Bromley area pooling resources for
the house-to-house collection during this week. Hayes Free Church
is responsible for the delivery of gift envelopes to, and collection
from, 1300 houses in 28 roads.
We need FOUR new people to help with the house-to-house
collection. Collectors are also required for the flag day on Saturday,
18th of May in Bromley town centre. Could you please spare an
hour to help this worthy cause?
If so, please contact us:
Kathryn Strachan 8658 9609
John Curry 8249 3663
Bank Holiday Rambles
Martin Nunn regrets to
announce that he will
not be leading a ramble
on Easter Monday.
Please keep a watch for
announcements about
forthcoming rambles.
Thank you.
10

13. BOARD
The January Concert
Martin Nunn is pleased to
advise that he has CDs of
the concert for sale.
The CDs are £5.00 each.
----------
All proceeds will be
donated to
Hayes Free Church
------------ CHRISTMAS TREE FESTIVAL
Thank you to 2013
Malcolm Cheyne In anticipation that we will
for producing the CDs.
be holding another Festival
this year, we need to have
a list of charities who will
benefit from the proceeds.
The HFC
We will consider more than
Telephone Directory
one charity.
------------
This is important. Please submit your
----------- suggestions to John Curry
Please check your details in ASAP please.
the HFC Directory of
members and friends.
If any corrections or updates
are needed please send
them to
John Curry - ASAP.
----------
If you wish to have your email
address listed, please tell
John Curry.
11

14. . . . . . Continued from page 9
v7 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart
instructs me. v8 / have set the Lord always before me. Because
he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. v9 Therefore my
heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest
secure. This is the fruit of David's security in God. It can be yours.
It affects your relationship with yourself - I shall not be shaken. It
affects your attitude - my heart is glad. It affects your
conversation- my tongue rejoices. It affects your health - my body
will rest secure. And it affects your eternal destiny:
v10 because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let
your Holy One see decay. v11 You have made known to me the
path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal
pleasures at your right hand.
Guidance published by: -
The Maranatha Community
An interdenominational Christian Community committed to Unity,
Renewal and Healing.
102 Irlam Road,
Flixton,
Manchester
M41 6JT
Tel: 0161 748 4858
Fax: 0161 747 7379
Your contributions to Catalyst will be most
welcome. Can you fill space on YOUR page?
How about a picture, or a poem? What did you
do at Sunday School? Do you have any special
stories? The page is yours to use, so please feed
your imagination!
Please contact
Richard Brown - The Editor.
I would love to hear from you.
12

15. THE RAIN
It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's
arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a
hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had
him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone
would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided,
since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the
needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's
appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, but he needed to go to the nursing home
to eat breakfast with his wife.
I enquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim
of Alzheimer's Disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not
recognised him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even
though she doesn't know who you are?'
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me,
but I still know who she is.'
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and
thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'
True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything they have.
'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain.'
We are all getting Older
Tomorrow may be our turn.
13

16. Women’s Contact Coffee Morning 10.00 am - 12.00
We will be holding a coffee morning on the
13th of April, 2013.
We are continuing to raise monies to contribute to disaster
relief funds in different parts of the world.
We hope to see you at the Coffee Mornings, and why not bring a friend.
Please note that the monies raised from the coffee mornings are
separate from those raised through the refreshments trolley after
Sunday morning services.
Barbara Jones
The Fairtrade Sunday Stall
We will be holding a fair trade stall after the morning service on the 2nd
and 4th Sunday of each month.
So, in April the stall will be held on the 14th and 28th.
The message is: “Please buy Fairtrade. Every purchase helps in a good
way”.
Please continue to support your fair trade stall. Thank you.
Richard and Barbara.
The Big Brew
HFC participated in Big Brew fortnight. Our participation was low key.
Proceeds from the Women’s Contact Coffee Morning, refreshments
after the Sunday morning service and a contribution from the
Fairtrade stall have been sent in.
The amount raised was £100. A BIG Thank you to everyone.
The way things once were
What did those nursery rhymes mean?
We will be looking at this up to the October edition, 2013
Little Jack Horner
It's thought that Jack Horner was actually Thomas Horner a steward to
Richard Whiting, the last abbot of Glastonbury put to death under
King Henry VIII.
The story goes that in a bid to stop his abbey being destroyed the
abbot had sent Horner to the King with a huge Christmas pie, secretly
containing the deeds to 12 manor houses as a sweetener. But Horner
arrived with only 11, taking one for himself.
Whatever the truth, the ploy didn't work. The abbey was torn down
anyway..
14

17. We did it! Supermarkets watchdog given power to fine
What a victory! We’re celebrating the Government
announcement this week that the supermarkets watchdog
will have the power to fine, from day one.
------------------------------
Announcement dated 6 December 2012
------------------------------
This is a huge success for Traidcraft supporters, who have been
campaigning determinedly for the watchdog to be established with
the powers it needs to stop supermarkets from bullying their suppliers.
Jo Swinson, the Minister charged with setting up the body, has been
deluged with emails, postcards and letters over the last few months
from campaigners calling for a supermarkets watchdog with strong
powers.
And it worked! A statement by the Government acknowledged that
‘the power to fine… would give the Adjudicator more teeth’. Jo
Swinson even sent a tweet saying ‘well done to all who campaigned
for this’.
We couldn’t have done it without you. Here’s how you’ve helped to
bring about a strong watchdog:
• Over 12000 postcards, letters and emails were sent to Jo Swinson
and MP's calling for a supermarkets watchdog with teeth.
• Our very own watchdog visited Westminster to deliver a message
that the watchdog must have strong powers to hold supermarkets
to account.
• In a House of Commons debate, MP's from all political parties
called for the body to be given the power to fine, from day one.
• Minister Jo Swinson praised Traidcraft supporters for ‘their tireless
campaigning’ and even presented the toy ‘toothless’ watchdog,
given to her by Traidcraft, at the House of Commons to
demonstrate the pressure she was under from campaigners.
The perseverance by Traidcraft supporters throughout this campaign
has been phenomenal, and the result is a huge victory in the fight to
prevent farmers and workers in the UK and overseas from being
squeezed by supermarkets. We’re celebrating this impressive
campaigns success, and we hope you will too!
15

18. Website of the Month Kent Association for the Blind
About us
"Services to people of all ages ... at any time during the sight loss
journey"
We are a registered charity providing comprehensive support services
for people with sight impairments. We have six rehabilitation teams
around the region and three Sight Centres.
We provide free, specialist support for children & adults, including those
with learning disabilities & those who are deaf-blind. This enables
people to be independent & to exercise choice & control over their
lives.
We achieve this by tailoring our services to people's needs.
Our supporters make all this possible & we can only deliver services of
the highest quality because of them.
KAB Club activities in Bromley
Ethelbert Road Coffee Morning Club Social club meets weekly on a
Wednesday morning. 50p per week.
VIPAS Varied programme including theatres, museums, pub evenings
etc. No subscriptions, but members pay their own way for activities.
Meets fortnightly.
Young Persons Group Social group for young people who meet by
arrangement evenings & weekends at various venues. There is no
subscription but club members pay for the activities undertaken.
Bromley Sight Centre
18 Blyth Road
Bromley BR1 3RX
Tel: 020 8464 8406
Email: rehab.bromley@kab.org.uk
Blyth Road is located between Beckenham Lane and London Road.
Car Parking: There are a limited number of on-street pay & display
parking bays in Blyth Road, and single yellow lines.
Buses: Routes serving Beckenham Lane include numbers: 227, 354, 358,
208 and 320.
Trains: Bromley North station is approximately half a mile away.
By foot: Please note that the walk from Beckenham Lane to our premis-
es is up a long hill. The walk from London Road is flat.
Access for people with disabilities: The Centre is accessible.
Wording paraphrased from the KAB Website.
16

19. Crime Prevention Advice – For April 2013
Dear all,
A particular type of fraud targeting elderly people is on the increase
across London. Our aim is to raise awareness and provide some key
crime prevention messages to the elderly and their circle of support -
friends, family, neighbours etc.
By raising awareness we will decrease the likelihood of people falling
victim.
The average age of the victim is 70 years old. The average loss is £4,000.
The Method
1) The method varies but essentially involves a victim being
telephoned (cold -called) by a suspect who alleges to be someone
of authority (eg, from the police, bank, Serious Fraud Office). The
suspect tells the victim there is a problem with their bank account
(like it has been compromised) and that their bank card must be
collected.
2) If the victim is unconvinced that the call is genuine they are
instructed to hang up and call a genuine number – such as 999 or
the telephone number on the rear of their bank card. However, the
suspect keeps the telephone line open and so the call goes straight
back to the fraudster who then deals with any subsequent call,
convincing the victim of their authenticity.
3) The victim is then content to reveal their bank details, namely the
PIN.
4) An often unwitting courier or taxi driver is sent to collect the victim’s
card. The card is delivered to a second suspect, who then passes it
on to the fraudster. The fraudster then empties the bank account.
Key Messages
Primary: (To potential victims, family, friends) Never give anyone your
PIN or bank card – the police and banks will never ask for them.
Secondary/supporting message(s): (To cabbies/couriers) Beware of
collecting and delivering packages from elderly people as you
may be assisting in a criminal offence.
Reporting offences: If you have been a victim call the police on 101 or
in an emergency by dialling 999. (Generally victims are elderly /
vulnerable and therefore it is NOT appropriate to report this matter to
Action Fraud).
17

20. April 2013
1st Mon Easter Monday
2nd Tue 10.00 am - Tuesday Prayer Meeting Page 3
8.00 pm - Elders’ Meeting Page 3
3rd Wed 6.00 pm - Worship Group Page 4
4th Thu
5th Fri
6th Sat 2.30 pm - Saturday Fellowship Page 3
7th Sun 10.30 am - Morning Service - Dr Clive Timehin
6.30 pm - Holy Communion - Marion Bayley
8th Mon 8.00 pm - Women’s Contact Group Page 3
9th Tue 10.00 am - Tuesday Prayer Meeting Page 3
10th Wed 6.00 pm - Worship Group Page 4
11th Thu 2.30 pm - Bible Study Group Page 4
12th Fri
13th Sat 10.00 am - Women’s Contact Coffee Morning Page 14
14th Sun 10.30 am - Parade Service - The Minister
Followed by Fairtrade stall Page 14
6.30 pm - Evening Service - The Minister
Catalyst Press Date IFC
15th Mon
16th Tue 10.00 am - Tuesday Prayer Meeting Page 3
17th Wed 6.00 pm - Worship Group Page 4
18th Thu 8.00 pm - Men’s Group Page 4
19th Fri 2.00 pm - Mothers’ & Toddlers’ Club Page 4
20th Sat
21st Sun 10.30 am - Morning Service - Bill Michie
6.30 pm - Healing Service - The Minister
18

21. April 2013
22nd Mon
23rd Tue St. George's Day
10.00 am - Tuesday Prayer Meeting Page 3
2.00 pm - Women’s Fellowship Page 5
24th Wed 6.00 pm - Worship Group Page 4
25th Thu 2.30 pm - Bible Study Group Page 4
26th Fri 2.00 pm - Mothers’ & Toddlers’ Club Page 4
27th Sat
28th Sun 10.30 am - Holy Communion - The Minister
Followed by Fairtrade stall Page 14
12.00 pm - Church Meeting Page 3
6.30 pm - Evening Service - Margaret Smith
29th Mon
30th Tue 10.00 am - Tuesday Prayer Meeting Page 3
2.00 pm - Women’s Fellowship Page 5
May 2013
1st Wed 6.00 pm - Worship Group Page 4
2nd Thu
3rd Fri 2.00 pm - Mothers’ & Toddlers’ Club Page 4
4th Sat
5th Sun 10.30 am - Morning Service - TBA
6.30 pm - Holy Communion - The Minister
DATES FOR YOUR DIARY
2 May AGM - 7.30 pm
10 May CTH AGAPE SUPPER - 7.00 for 7.30 pm
8 June HAYES FAIR - 12.00 - 4.00 pm
10 June CTH OPEN AIR SERVICE
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22. The Perfect Minister
The Perfect Minister: The Perfect Minister preaches for exactly
10 minutes. S/he condemns sin roundly but never hurts
anyone’s feelings. S/he works from 8.00 am until midnight
and is also the church janitor.
The Perfect Minister makes £120 a week, wears good clothes,
drives a good car, buys good books and donates £100 a
week to the parish. S/he is 29 years old and has 40 years’
worth of experience. Above all, s/he is handsome/gorgeous.
The Perfect Minister has a burning desire to work with
teenagers, and spends most of his/her time with the senior
citizens. S/he smiles all the time with a straight face because
s/he has a sense of humour that keeps him/her seriously
dedicated to the local church. S/he makes 15 home visits a
day and is always in her office to be handy when needed.
The Perfect Minister always has time for church meetings and
all of its committees. S/he never misses the meeting of any
church organization, and is always busy evangelising the
unchurched.
The Perfect Minister is always in the next district over.
If your minister does not measure up, simply send this notice to
six other districts that are tired of their minister too. Then
bundle up your minister and send him/her to the district at the
top of your list. If everyone co-operates, in one week you will
receive 1,643 ministers. One of them should be perfect.
Have faith in this letter. One church broke the chain and got
its old minister back in less than three months .......
20

23. CHURCH ORGANISATIONS
Day Organisation Contact Phone
Sunday
10.25 am Sunday Club Mike Duke 8462 5103
Weekdays
9.15 - 12.00 pm Pre School Group Jayne Carvell 07913 299773
Monday
5.45 pm Brownies Sarah Humphrey 8249 9982
6.30 pm Cubs Brenda Petts 8325 3956
8.00 pm - 1st Women's Contact Sylvia Mack 8462 1938
Group
Tuesday
10.00 am Prayer Meeting Martin Nunn 8462 5918
2.00 pm Women's Fellowship Sylvia Mack 8462 1938
7.00 pm Scouts Paul Hasling 3236 0083
Wednesday
4.00 pm - 2nd Messy Church Sue Powell 8462 2212
5.00 pm Rainbows Tania Venables 8462 9759
6.00 pm Beavers Brenda Petts 8325 3956
6.00 - 7.00 pm Worship Group Bill Michie 8658 4167
8.00 pm Explorers Tom Strachan 07745 813 295
Thursday
2.30 pm - 2nd, Bible Study Sue Powell 8462 2212
& 4th
5.30 pm Brownies Stevie Blair. 8325 3469
7.15 - 8.45 pm Senior Guides Georgina Chappell 07983 471308
8.00 pm - 3rd Men's Group Bruce Tannock 8325 6264
Friday
9.00 - 12.00 pm Coffee morning during term times
2.00 pm Mothers & Toddlers Judith Stoner 8462 3023
6.30 pm Guides Teresa Cheyne 8777 6042
Saturday
2.30 pm - 1st Saturday Fellowship Martin Nunn 8462 5918
NOTE: - Some of the organisations meet once or twice per month.
This is indicated by 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th. The numbers relate to which
week day of the month, NOT the calendar date.

24. Final Thought
FRET NOT – Psalm 37 for present times
Don't get worried when folk are leaving,
Don't keep asking: "What shall we do?"
Keep things in the right perspective:
The Almighty cares for you.
Don't keep staring at the problems,
Knowing they're too big for you.
Nothing is too big for Jesus –
Think of Easter, Calvary too.
Keep on reaching out to others
Just as He reached down to you.
Shut doors, blank looks, cold sneers – maybe;
And a thrill or two.
Don't forget the younger people.
Underneath that strange hair-do
Is someone who could serve the Master
In Southport or Peru.
Don't forget to pray together,
Loving even "you-know-who".
Don't crucify the love you're speaking,
By what you do.
When you're tired and despondent,
Bewildered, bothered , browned off,
blue:
Still He says: "I am with you always"
And it's true.
Christine Williams