Difficult children can break up families. You can do more than survive these years - sometimes you can turn things around.

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Discover the proven, practical ways to better parenting. How to information and tips for having
Happy, Healthy and Productive children!
http://raiseyourchildright.com/
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How to Survive The Rebellious Child
What's the matter with kids today? We all have heard that "it is worth it," but sometimes the
struggle is overwhelming. Here are some simple ideas to help make it through.
There are two main difficulties that are a part of every parent/child relationship: Communication,
and rebellion, both of which hide behind expectations. The expectations we have and those of our
child.
So how can you avoid or survive these land mines? Frankly, I don't think it is possible to
completely avoid rebellion: therefore the object becomes to survive it with everyone's feelings
intact. At the same time we want to come through the experience without our child winding up
injured, addicted, pregnant or arrested.
This is a topic that deserves a book, but let's focus just on the basics. The core problem is not the
idea or even the act of rebellion -- it is the ANGER that causes it and the ANGER it creates. If we
can manage the emotions, the battle is one half won. The link at the bottom of the article offers a
lighthearted look at what we all go through that illustrates the comedic side of the growth process.
Yet it is anything but funny when you are in the thick of it.
Our kids know how to push our buttons, so we need to be the one to exhibit self-control first. We
must set the example for them to follow. Remember, from the moment your child exits the womb,
they are moving away from your control. Rather than get angry over the inevitable, and attempting
to extend that fading power, we need to work on controlling the graduated release to self-
sufficiency. Our goal is not to control the child; it is to guide them into maturity. The parenting job is
supposed to be a rudder, and sometimes a shield, but never an anchor.
People often forget that others can not see how we feel, only how we act. Okay, we are going to
use self-control to throttle our anger: How do we deal with the child's? Primarily, we must
understand that the anger stems from emotional upheaval brought on by raging hormones. Teens
often feel confused, lustful, repressed, overconfident and insecure -- all at the same time. This
turmoil is so threatening that it causes a fight or flight reaction, and an angry child.
To diffuse it, we need a step by step process. Easy to recall, that addresses the primary
challenges in a non-threatening way. Try this acronym for ANGER.
A Analysis, are they rebelling for a valid reason? Is the reason the one given, or is something else
behind it?

2. N No, stop saying the word no. It fully halts all communication.
G Grow up, you can't expect your child to act the adult if you won't.
E Earn, you earn respect by how you act & so do they. Let them know that they can earn
privileges and respect by acting respectfully.
R Respond, don't react to words & actions. Use reason and logic to honestly share your feelings
about what they are doing. Remember, your reasons are not theirs.
About communication, I will only say this for now -- without open lines of communication there can
be no strong relationships or emotional healing. And dealing with the rebellious child is simply not
possible.
We forget that every generation has dealt with this -- take a couple of minutes and watch this
YouTube video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wCXr_6wgns
Sometimes laughing helps.
==== ====
Discover the proven, practical ways to better parenting. How to information and tips for having
Happy, Healthy and Productive children!
http://raiseyourchildright.com/
==== ====