1. m-Provise
March 16, 2011
Lori Hunt, Supervisor
m-Provise Inc.
Dear Ms. Hunt:
Enclosed are two response letters to the complaints in Group A and Group B. I seek
your revision or approval before I proceed in sending them to the respectable
addresses.
Sincerely,
Lee Henke
Lee Henke
m-Provise Bus. Comm. Intern
lee.henke@mnsu.edu
Enclosure: Two Response Drafts

2. m-Provise
Business Communications
March 16, 2011
Mr. Jason Neivens
412 Nowhere Ave.
Fresno, CA 93650
We are sorry to hear of your displeasure with our metallic water bottles. We at
m-Provise believe our products are of the highest quality; hearing of disapproval from
our customers will help us correct the error and improve our future products. We
appreciate your help in locating an malfunction. I wish we could have corrected this
manufacturing error during the design or test process and for that we are deeply sorry.
We promise to make you happy and restore you confidence in our company and our
products. Please enjoy this new and improved metallic water bottle in which we added a
redesigned gasket for the lid.
Mr. Neivens, we would like to thank you for drawing our attention to the problem and
helping us improve the quality of our products. Thank you for taking the time to write
and we hope we have restored your confidence in our company and products.
Yours truly,
Lee Henke
Lee Henke
Business Communications
Enclosure: Water Bottle
m-Provise

3. Business Communications
March 16, 2011
Mr. Robert Johnson
240 Somewhere Dr.
Marshall City, IA 55525
Dear Mr. Johnson,
Thank you for your letter stating your concerns.
We are sorry to hear of your recent disapproval of our Pulitzer-prize winning Novel,
Brokeback Mountain. In your letter you stated you were expecting a Western of the likes
of John Wayne. There is a detailed description of the novel located on the back cover
and on the inside of the front cover. We can not take full responsibility for this claim
because of the lack of consumer research.
However, we would like to extend a gift card for half the amount you initially sent for the
Brokeback Mountain Novel to show our willingness to please all of our customers.
Again, we are sorry to hear of your disapproval but we hope this helped restore your
confidence in our company’s appreciation for all customers.
Sincerely,
Lee Henke
Lee Henke
Business Communications
Enclosure: Gift Card

4. I know that the assignment may have confused you because the specs on page 1
asked you to select from Group A and Group B, but there was no Group A or Group B in
the samples. I believe that I mentioned in the chat that I clarified the issue. Since this
assignment fell over Spring Break and you had two weeks, I asked you to respond to all
four. Several people made this error, and I am asking all of you to please revise and
resubmit the assignment to respond to ALL of the complaints.
Elements of Refusals (see pp. 330-331)
• Open by establishing the context for your response.
• Review the facts and provide an explanation of the bad news.
• State the refusal concisely and without apology.
• Establish/reestablish goodwill by providing an option, assuring the reader of your high
opinion of them as a customer, offer a friendly remark, or wish the reader success.
In spite of meeting these criteria, the letter still needs a revision to address the
comments above.
Tactful Adjustment Letters (p. 339)
• Uses a respectful tone and word choice.
• Offers adjustment clearly and early in the letter.
• Expresses appreciation for calling attention to the problem.
• Explains the cause of the problem and any steps you are taking to solve it.
• Avoids recalling the problem in the closing.
Goodwill and "You" Viewpoint (p. 282) in ALL Business Communication
• Be tactful, clear, and concise.
• Provide sufficient detail.
• Emphasize the reader's needs or benefits to encourage the reader to act.
• Write from the reader's perspective. Use second person pronouns (you, your) more
than first person pronous (I, we, our, us).
• Don't overdo it. Avoid writing that is fawning and insincere.
Grading
Assignments will be evaluated holistically based upon five categories: ability to
recognize and satisfy the rhetorical situation (audience, purpose, context); a message
containing sufficient, accurate information and arguments based upon reliable,
documented evidence; clear, logical organization that provides coherence within the
document; professional style and syntax that adheres to the conventions of both the
genre and your discipline; and professional, usable design of the information adhering
to both principles of document design and conventions of the genre and featuring
visuals when appropriate and useful. The score on a project reflects a holistic evaluation
using the guidelines below.
A = Superior Accomplishment. An employer would be impressed with the
professionalism and clear understanding of purpose, audience, content, expression,
organization, style, and mechanics. No errors or revisions needed. Excellent analysis of
the writing situation. The document is ready to be presented to the intended audience.

5. B = Commendable. The document is geared toward an audience and is well organized.
Goes beyond requirements. Content could be more specific. There may be stylistic
problems. A supervisor or employer would require minor revisions before presenting
the document to the intended audience.
C = Competent. The document meets the basic criteria of the assignment but with
errors that must be revised before presenting it to the intended audience. The
deficiency in content, arrangement, concept of audience, mechanics, and/or style need
attention. A supervisor or employer would be disappointed in the project. He/she would
have to take time out of his or her schedule to correct the work or send it back for
revision.
D =Needs Improvement. The document does not fulfill all of the specifications.
Significant defects in rhetorical situation, material, organization, expression, or
correctness. The employer will be looking for someone to replace the employee on this
project. This document would not be presented to the intended audience without
significant revision.
F = Unacceptable. Inadequate treatment of the assignment or does not meet
assignment criteria. Glaring defects in material (content, purpose), organization (form,
structure), expression, word choice, or correctness make the document inappropriate
for the rhetorical situation.