This document discusses issues surrounding a woman's ability to control her reproductive choices and start a family on her own terms. It describes societal expectations that women have children and double standards that make it difficult for women to access contraception, abortion, and sterilization procedures. While men can freely choose to participate in an unintended pregnancy or not, women face obstacles like waiting periods, required ultrasounds, and being denied sterilization if unmarried or deemed "too young". The document argues that if men can opt out of pregnancy responsibilities, women should have the right to freely control their own bodies and reproductive decisions as well.

1. Lizzie Bliss
Choice to Start a Family
Society shapes our idea of what should be. It tells people how they should
act, and creates certain expectations depending on which gender one embodies.
Men are taught they should be providers, take care of their families by protecting
them. If they can’t support their families then it’s looked down upon and they are
seen as a second-rate man. Woman on the other hand are taught to care for the
family unit, they are also taught to get married and live happily by having
children. Their main concern should be the children; if they’re working they are
faced with the question of what about your children. The story becomes slightly
different when a woman decided that she doesn’t want to bare children and tries
to find different avenues to prevent such an event from happening. She’s faced
with many obstacles from a society in which she is taught that she’s equal yet in
reality isn’t.
One area in the arena of choice for woman to choose when to start her
family is the conversional topic of abortion. Many people in the prolife and
prochoice campaigns focus on when life begins and a woman’s right to her own
body. There is more to the abortion topic then what’s listed above, there is
another viewpoint to look at it, such as it’s the ability to walk away from an
unwanted pregnancy. Since the dawn of time women have been able to get

2. pregnant, and during this time there have been men who have chosen to leave
women to fend for themselves. A man has always had the ability to walk away
from a pregnancy without consequence for centuries; the only consequence a
man can receive from a pregnancy is child support for the child once they are
born. Getting child support on a stable bases or even going through the process
doesn’t guarantee a man will be found and have a job to contribute support.
Other then monetary support, a man doesn’t bare any of the societal pressures
or persecution. A woman choosing to abort will be called a whore, slut, or
murder because she is opting to end her pregnancy; if she opts to keep her
pregnancy then if she’s too young she is called a whore and a slut. People telling
her that’s what she gets, she should have kept her legs closed, she also risks
being abandoned by the many people she holds dear to her. Also a woman could
lose her job because the company doesn’t want to deal with the issue a pregnant
woman brings to the table. Not to mention all the changes physically she’ll
endure during her pregnancy. He also doesn’t experience the bodily changes that
accompany such an event in life; he’s life for the most part doesn’t change. If a
man can walk away without judgments, and little change to his life, why can’t a
woman? The 14th
amendment has the Equal Protection Clause requiring states to
protect all citizens equally. This clause is suppose to keep laws from arbitrarily
discriminating on sex, making laws that are bias towards a certain sex

3. unconstitutional. Therefore making laws or policies that make it difficult for a
woman to seek avenues to relieve herself of a pregnancy shouldn’t be in place.
According to this amendment if men walk out the door, then women should be
able to find safe, and clean methods to walk out the door too.
Walking out the door is not an option for women at the moment and they
are faced with many obstacles such as waiting periods, ultrasounds, and the
emotional weight of the decision. In the state of Texas along with a few others,
women who are pregnant and are seeking an abortion must have a vaginal ultra
sound. During this ultra sound a woman must either hear or see the status of her
unborn fetus, after the appointment is done with she must wait 24 hours before
she can have the procedure done. The 24 hour waiting period is to allow a
women time to reflect and change for mind about going through the abortion. I
read a story online in the Times Magazine about a woman who was very excited
to welcome her new baby into her family. Her excitement turned to upset when
the doctor informed her that her child would have a horrible birth defeat that
would cause that child to be in and out of hospitals its whole life. She had two
choices abort the fetus or welcome into this world, a child whose whole life
would be about suffering. She made the decision to abort the fetus and made an
appointment with the clinic. As she sat through her state mandated ultra sound
she was forced to listen to the doctor describe her already beloved child. She

4. later learned she could have avoided the doctor describing the fetus to her
because her abortion was due to having an irreversible abnormality. Are the
father’s of these unborn fetus forced to hear the heartbeat? No they’re not, its
unconstitutional for such a policy to be in place. No only is it unconstitutional but
doctors take an oath before they become doctors to first do no harm. Abortion is
already a distressing choice one must make, but to add insult to injury by
describing the unborn fetus is doing psychology harm onto the woman. Many
individuals who are for this passage of this law believe it will lead women to
become more educated with the decision to abort. The women who make the
initial appointment are already educated and stick to their guns by returning for
the second appointment. Women know what they want when it comes to this
choice and if a woman wants to rid herself of a pregnancy she will find a way and
the will. The enforcement of such hoops for women to jump through is really not
to educate women on abortion but to shame them about their choice. It’s also
another way to deny and make getting an abortion that much more difficult.
Abortions are not the only medical service women seek out and have a difficult
time receiving.
Many women in lieu of taking hormonal birth control and having to look
for abortion service want to make a decision to permanently end their ability to
have children. The more known option is tubal ligation, which is a medical

5. surgery where a doctor cuts, burns or clips a woman’s fallopian tubes. There are
some rumors surrounding the aftermath of having one’s tubes tied. It’s called
Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome. I say rumor because this isn’t a recognized
syndrome and website talking about such syndrome are often those offering
reversal services for those who want their tubes untied. Symptom’s of PTLS are
things that happen to women as they reach their premenopausal age, such as
irregular periods, vaginal dryness, mood swings and breast tenderness to name a
few. It’s very difficult to have your tubes tied at a young age so most women
receive this service in their mid to late 30’s around the same time most women
start to feel the effects of being premenopausal.
Another form of sterilization is called Essure, and it’s a non-invasive
procedure that can be performed in an OBGYN office. What takes place in this
option is two coils are inserted into the fallopian tubes, allowing the body to
build a nature barrier around the coils in turn denying assess to the tubes. After
three months, the woman is injected with dye and given an x-ray to makes sure
the barrier has completely cut off assess. Another form of this procedure is called
Adiana, and instead of coils being inserted two small pieces the size of grains of
rice are placed in the tubes. After three months and once everything checks out
the woman can processed to have sexual intercourse without fear of getting
pregnant. This is an excellent option for women not wanting surgery or worried

6. about PTLS happening to them.
Finding doctors that will provide these services to women with no hassle
are far and few between, most women will have to seek out multiple doctors and
are questioned the whole way. I’ve read several accounts of women seeking
sterilization and being asked questions that shouldn’t be asked nor would be
asked of a man if he were seeking the same services. Women are asked if they
are in a relationship with anyone, if that partner knows what the woman is doing,
and if they are okay with it. Women are then told this is permanent and then
asked if they are sure they don’t want children, because depending on the age in
which a woman seek this service she may be “too young” to know she doesn’t
want children. One of the last questions that is asked is what happens if they
meet Mr. Right and he wants children what will she do then. Firstly these
questions should be of no concern to a doctor because it’s dealing with the
personal life of that patient and should have no medical bearing on whether or
not the doctor should perform this task. How do doctors medically know when a
women is “too young” to make such a permanent choice, is there a test or even
medical data? There isn’t, this ideal of being “too young” is something our society
has created and ingrain in the doctors. Society promotes having children,
women’s whole goal in life is just to have babies. We’re taught this so early on
with our kitchen sets and baby dolls that cry and need diaper changing. Having a

7. family with children is something expected of women, once a couple gets married
the next question is when are you having children. Not wanting to have children
isn’t an accepted norm and cause doctors to throw up several questions in order
to impeded ones request. Another ideal that seems to be ingrain in our society
and some doctors is that a man can control a women’s body. It’s crazy to think
that because a man wants to have children that completely changes a woman
point of view of children or even that a man holds all the power when it comes to
the decision to have children. This is a medical choice made by a woman about
her body and a man’s opinion shouldn’t need to be taken into consideration
when making her choice. It’s absurd that men should even find room in a
conversation between a woman and her doctor. Another story about men being
brought into a doctors decision on how to treat a woman who wants her tubes
tied is my older sister Andrea. She has had two children in the last 11 years and
after the birth of her last child a year ago she wanted to get her tubes tie after
the labor process like my mother had after having my little sister. The doctors
denied her the service because she wasn’t married. Again why does a man have
to be in the picture for a doctor to provide a wanted service a woman wanted the
service? It amazes me, that a woman can be denied health related services all on
the idea of this nonexistent man who will want children and convince my sister to
have more children. One conversation between a doctor and patient that often

8. doesn’t involve the mention of a man is daily, monthly or yearly birth control.
There are several options for a woman when it comes to birth
control such as hormonal, non-hormonal, monthly, daily, weekly, yearly, and
cervical caps. The hormonal options are the pill, the patch, the ring, the shot and
the implant. These options prevent pregnancy by preventing an egg to develop in
the ovary and being released into the tubes, and if an egg does mature and
release, the hormones thicken the cervical mucus making it much harder for the
sperm to gain entry to the uterus. The pill is an easy option for women who don’t
have insurance because they can get it at multiple clinics. The pill is a daily dose
of hormones, that a woman must take at the same time everyday in order to
receive the full effect, depending of the level on hormone some pill packs have a
week to four day break of sugar pills. Some women find the pill hard to keep up
with and opt for the other hormonal options. The NuvaRing, which is a monthly
ring that a woman inserts in her vaginal cavity for three weeks, then removes it
for a week. Ortho Evra that is better known as the patch is hormonal patch a
woman wears for one week and then switches out at the end of the week for a
new one. The shot is called Depo-Provera its effects can last three months, so a
woman must see a doctor 4 times a year for this form of birth control. Implanon
and Nexplanon are types of birth control that can be implanted into a woman’s
arm. This choice of birth control can be effective up to three years once the three

9. years are up a cut is made to remove the implant.
Diaphragm and Cervical Cap are roughly the same idea of pregnancy
protection they just look slightly different. Both don’t use hormones instead they
must be used with spermicide to prevent the sperm from moving. Along with
preventing the movement of sperm both items block the opening to the uterus.
The Diaphragm effective against pregnancy doesn’t decrease with giving birth
because it can be refitted unlike the Cervical Cap. Cervical Caps decreases
effectiveness after giving birth because it’s a one size fits all, and after giving birth
a woman’s cervix remains half a centimeter to one centimeter open. Allowing
more access area for the sperm enter through.
The last form of birth control I’m going to talk about is an IUD, this form of
birth control is a small non-hormonal T-shaped device that is inserted into the
uterus and can last up to 12 years. Mirena and ParaGard are two of the most
effective forms a birth control a woman can get her hands on that isn’t a
permanent choice to end their abilities to have children. Unfortunately with
certain insurance companies women don’t have the option to choose an IUD. I
know that the insurance company I have, will not allow any kind of coverage to
this form of birth control unless I can prove that I’ve already had a child. I don’t
know the exact reasons for this form of birth control being denied, but I can only
take an educated guess based on everything I have read. The denial is because its

10. so permanent without being permanent that how can a woman without a child
know she doesn’t want to have a child. I say that because they are many cases of
“pill babies” woman giving birth to children they conceived while on the pill and
with birth control such as ParaGaurd a woman has a less then 1 out 100 change
of becoming pregnant. There its okay in our society to be on the pill at a young
age because you can still get pregnant where as using an IUD the chance of
becoming pregnant is very slim. Leading to the next question of why does a
woman need to have children or why is the normal assumption that all woman
want to have children. Clearly with the development of non-surgical permanent
solutions there is a demand for these services, women are choosing not to have
children.
With all the stories I’ve read and personal experiences I’ve had dealing
with the issues of woman controlling when or how to start their family leaves me
flabbergasted. Why does society care if a woman wants to have children or
doesn’t want children? Why do they care if a woman chooses to end an
unwanted or terminal pregnancy? Why must a non-existent man or existent man
be apart of a decision about a woman’s body? If a woman is not brought up in
the conversation when a man wants his tubes clipped or if a man can walk away
from an unborn child he doesn’t want without society giving it a second thought.
Why has society created a double standard? We are all equal under our

11. constitution, and it’s required by such document that we are to be treated
equally. So why are there laws and policy that create an environment in which
woman are told they don’t have control over their bodily functions. Creating a
law to inform women about a fetus they want to abort isn’t going to change the
minds of women. Why do you need to educate a woman who wants to abort a
fetus but not educate the woman who chooses to keep her pregnancy? Yet when
a woman who choose to keep her pregnancy receives no help from the prolifers
that were screaming at her while she walked in the clinic for a check up. Some
people in society feel its murder to have an abortion no matter the reason, yet
they aren’t lined up to help raise that child they so bad wanted that woman to
have. Nor are the doctors who deny women permanent birth control options
there to hold a woman’s hand when she chose to have abortion because her
daily, monthly or yearly birth control failed. Those doctors aren’t there either to
raise that child they felt their patient was to young to know they didn’t want to
have kids. A simple answer to a question they ask what if Mr. Right comes along
and he wants kids, if he wants kids and I don’t then clearly he’s not Mr. Right is
he.
Part of our society and some doctor don’t believe women can be trusted
to make the decision of birth control yet we send the message that we trust them
not with their bodies and life but with the responsibility of raising a child.

12. Work Cited
Julie, “So, You Want to Get Yourself Fixed?!”. The Hiking Humanist. 07/30/2012.
11/13/2012. (http://hikinghumanist.com).
Meyer, Cheryl L. The Wandering Uterus: Politics and the Reproductive Rights of
Women. New York: New York University Press, 1997. Print.
Planned Parenthood on the Internet. Planned Parenthood. November 12, 2012
<www.plannedparenthood.org>.
Times Magazine on the internet. Times Magazine. November 17, 2012
<www.time.com>.