What might the news be like in 2015?

1. The News in 2015 The following was written in 2004 as Mook’s contribution to a PACT futurology conference. Tom Adams, at the time one of Mook’s creative driving forces and a very good writer himself (the next slide is his) had worked as part of the group tasked with creating a, ‘One to Many’ broadcasting scenario and handed the job to me, because I like this sort of thing. I haven’t changed anything in the text other than to trim down the number of semi colons - I was using too many at the time - and to add in an ad-lib of Tom’s (the Jimmy Carr punchine). As with all these sorts of things, some of the predictions failed to materialize in the commonly-held continuum, but are probably happening in another version, somewhere. Probably. Unfortunately, I didn’t see it delivered, but apparently it went down quite well.

2. High Sense of Community – One to Many Broadcasting still prevalent. We were asked to picture a future scenario where for various reasons despite a massive growth in media access we continue to prefer a small number of ‘broadcasters’. We were asked to couple this with a scenario where a new religion is formed and a high sense of community prevails. We have imagined a future where as a society we have experienced wider access to more programming – as well as the ability to make and distribute our own – and where eventually society has largely rejected this model in favour of larger commercial sources of entertainment. We have not looked in any depth at what this might mean for the internet, but our assumption is that it continues to serve the same purpose as today – after flirting with becoming an alternative form of television. The religious element to this scenario, was introduced as a wild-card to allow us to focus on the implications for society and community – some care should be taken with portraying the extremes of religious programming – we feel that religious broadcasting in this scenario will feature very little of a traditional god channel, much more a moral stance on news and entertainment that is more subtle than that.

3. HELLO AND GOOD AFTERNOON. THIS IS THE NEWS ON DECEMBER THE 2 ND , TWENTY FIFTEEN. THE HEADLINES...

4. STRINGER & GATES UNVEIL THE ITEL THREE AND A SURPRISE GUEST...

5. PRIDE AND REDJUDICE- CHINA UNVEILS ITS LATEST PERIOD EPIC...

6. BEEB4 ANNOUNCES NEW LINE UP...

7. ...AND OUR IN-DEPTH FEATURE, ‘SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS.... A NEW RELIGION?’

8. BILL GATES AND THE OCTAGENARIAN CEO OF SONY INDUSTRIES, SIR HOWARD STRINGER, TODAY UNVEILED THE NEW ITEL 3, ALONG WITH A SURPRISE SPECIAL GUEST.

9. THE NEW DEVICE WAS BROUGHT TO THE STAGE BY NONE OTHER THAN STEVE JOBS.

10. MICROSOFT’S RECLUSIVE HEAD OF PRODUCT INNOVATION HAS NOT BEEN SEEN IN PUBLIC SINCE 2008, WHEN HIS PREVIOUS COMPANY, APPLE COMPUTERS, WAS BOUGHT BY MICROSOFT AND SEVERAL ATTEMPTS WERE MADE ON HIS LIFE. FOLLOWING A RAPTUROUS RECEPTION, JOBS JOKED WITH THE CROWD, ‘THE NEW ITEL IS PART OF A LONG TRADITION OF PORTABLE PLAYERS THAT HAVE KEPT THE WORLD ENTERTAINED AND INFORMED, EVER SINCE A LITTLE THING CALLED THE- WELL I FORGET THE NAME...’

11. -JOBS WAS REFERRING TO THE ‘I-POD’; A PREVIOUS NAME FOR THE ITEL RANGE.

12. THE ITEL 3 FOLLOWS ON FROM THE HUGELY SUCCESSFUL ITEL2, WHICH HAS SOLD MORE THAN 2 BILLION UNITS, WORLDWIDE. THE NEW MODEL OFFERS THE STANDARD MEDIA PLAYING FACILITIES-

13. -PLUS 1 GBPS WIRELESS ACCESS AND THE LATEST IN ALT-ENERGY OPTIONS, INCLUDING SOLAR AND CLOCKWORK DRIVERS.

14. PERHAPS THE ITEL3’S BIGGEST SELLING POINT HOWEVER IS THE NEW ‘ALL WORLD-ONE POINT’ MEDIA STANDARD, WHICH FINALLY SEES THE END OF THE HEGEMONY EXERCISED BY THE TWENTIETH CENTURY BROADCASTERS AND PUBLISHERS BY ABANDONING THE SO-CALLED ‘BROADCAST STANDARD’ PROTOCOLS. THIS FOLLOWS ON FROM LAST MONTH’S ANNOUNCEMENT THAT ITEL CHANNELS ARE NOW OUTSTRIPPING PAYPERVIEW CONTENT FROM THE BIG BROADCASTERS BY 2-TO-1.

15. THE WORLD’S BIGGEST MOVIE STAR, ZHANG ZIYI, MADE A SENSATIONAL ENTRANCE TO THE WORLD PREMIERE OF ‘PRIDE AND PREJUDICE’ LAST NIGHT.

16. DRESSED IN THE CRINOLINES AND PETTICOATS SHE WEARS THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE, ZHANG DESCENDED ON NEW LEICESTER SQUARE ON A WIRE AND WAS MET BY HER CO-STAR FROM THE FILM, ERIC YEN. TO THE DELIGHT OF THE CROWDS, THEY THEN RECREATED A SCENE FROM THE FILM, IN WHICH SHE CHALLENGES D’ARCY TO AN ACROBATIC DUEL, INVOLVING POTTED ASPIDISTRA AND LACE HANKIES.

17. PRODUCTION OF THE JANE AUSTEN CLASSIC HAS BEEN FUNDED BY THE CHINESE STATE BROADCASTER, REDSTAR TELEVISION AND IS THE LATEST IN A LONG LINE OF REMAKES OF CLASSIC ENGLISH WORKS. CHINA IS NOW THE ONLY COUNTRY WITH A STATE SPONSORED BROADCASTER.

18. IN A CONTROVERSIAL MOVE, THE UK’S OWN FORMER STATE BROADCASTER, THE BBC, WHICH MERGED WITH FELLOW BROADCASTER, CHANNEL FOUR, IN 2012, TODAY ANNOUNCED ITS LATEST ATTEMPT TO BOOST FLAGGING AUDIENCE FIGURES.

19. HEAD OF PROGRAMMING, MATT LOCKE, INTRODUCED THE CHANNEL’S NEW LINE-UP-

20. “ BEEB4 IS COMMITTED TO BRINGING THE AUDIENCE THE BEST IN ALTERNATIVE ENTERTAINMENT” HE STATED.

21. SATURDAY NIGHT’S ON BEEB4 ARE ABOUT CHALLENGING THE AUDIENCE WITH CONTROVERSIAL ISSUES AND IMAGES OF TOTALLY UNCENSORED POUNDING - THAT’S WHY WE’RE BRINGING YOU, “THE ONE HUNDRED RACIEST ITEL CHANNELS, EVER”. THE PLAN, HE EXPLAINED, WAS TO COLLATE THE ITEL SHOWS RATED MOST EXPLICIT BY VISITORS INTO A SINGLE SHOW, AND COUNT THEM DOWN OVER THE COURSE OF AN EVENING. “SOME OF THESE ‘CASTS REALLY PUSH THE BOUNDARIES” HE WARNED.

22. MANY COMMENTATORS FEEL BEEB4 HAS MISJUDGED THE MORAL CLIMATE: “THIS IS TYPICAL OF THE BROADCAST DINOSAURS,” SAID A SPOKESPRIEST FOR THE NEW CATHOLIC CHURCH. “APPEALING TO MANKIND’S BASER INSTINCTS IS A TREND WE REALLY NEED TO LEAVE BEHIND. TRYING TO COURT CONTROVERSY BY REPLAYING HOURS OF EXPLICIT SEXUAL ACTIVITY AND DEGRADATION IS NOT SOMETHING THE ENLIGHTENED PEOPLES OF EARTH FEEL A NEED TO WATCH THESE DAYS.”

23. “ CONSENTING ADULTS HAVE THE RIGHT TO PERFORM WHATEVER ACTS THEY SEE FIT TO INDULGE IN,” SAID LOCKE IN THE PROGRAMME’S DEFENCE. “ IF THOSE SAME PEOPLE CHOOSE TO SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES WITH AN AUDIENCE AS A PART OF THE FANTASY-CUM-REVENUE STREAM, THEN WE WON’T SHY AWAY FROM IT.”

24. THE PROGRAMME WILL BE PRESENTED BY JIMMY CARR

25. THE PROGRAMME WILL BE PRESENTED BY JIMMY CARR, OBE.

26. AND SO TO OUR IN DEPTH STORY. TODAY SEES THE THIRD ANNIVERSARY OF THE BETA LAUNCH OF THE GOOGLE ‘ MORAL PORTAL’-

27. WE TAKE A LOOK BACK AT WHAT WASN’T EVEN CONSIDERED HEADLINE NEWS AT THE TIME, BUT IS NOW CONSIDERED AS A DISTINCT EVOLUTIONARY STEP. THE DAY MANKIND SAID ‘NO THANKS’ TO THE APPLE.

28. CHILDREN, USING COMPUTERS MIGHT SEEM A PERFECTLY EVERYDAY EXPERIENCE, BUT AS LITTLE AS THREE YEARS AGO, THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN IMPOSSIBLE.

29. BY THE SUMMER OF 2012, NO COMPUTER ANYWHERE HAD ESCAPED THE PERVASIVE INFLUENCE OF PORNOGRAPHY. VIRUSES HAD INFILTRATED ALL BUT THE MOST ISOLATED HARD DRIVES, MAKING THE WEB USELESS TO ANYONE NOT WILLING TO ENDURE THE ENDLESS FROTTING.

30. FOR NEARLY A DECADE PREVIOUS TO THIS, EXPLICIT IMAGERY HAD GAINED CURRENCY AND BECOME VALIDATED BY PUBLISHERS, ADVERTISERS AND BROADCASTERS. GAMESHOWS LIKE ‘JORDAN’S ASS TO MOUTH’ AND

31. FOR NEARLY A DECADE PREVIOUS TO THIS, EXPLICIT IMAGERY HAD GAINED CURRENCY AND BECOME VALIDATED BY PUBLISHERS, ADVERTISERS AND BROADCASTERS. GAMESHOWS LIKE ‘JORDAN’S ASS TO MOUTH’ AND-

32. ‘ NOEL’S HOUSE PARTY’ PUSHED BOUNDARIES OF DECENCY AND WERE BANKROLLED BY HIGH LEVELS OF PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

33. EXPLICIT SEXUAL IMAGERY WAS EVERYWHERE- ON BILLBOARDS, IN THE NEWSPAPERS AND ON OUR SCREENS.

34. WHILE THE ADVERTISERS AND PROGRAMME MAKERS USED REPORTS AND STUDIES TO PROVE THE POWER OF THEIR PRACTICES, MORE AND MORE OF THE DECENT WORKING PEOPLE THIS FILTH WAS SUPPOSEDLY AIMED AT BEGAN TO DRIFT AWAY. BEFORE LONG, A THRIVING MINI-INDUSTRY WAS ESTABLISHED

36. THOSE WILLING TO EXPOSE THEMSELVES TO THE NEVER-ENDING PARADE OF OBSCENITY WOULD SIT WITH A FAMILY AND BOOK THEIR HOLIDAY; ORDER THEIR SHOPPING OR RENT THEM A MOVIE THEY COULD WATCH WITHOUT FEAR OF THE CHILDREN SEEING INAPPROPRIATE ACTS.

37. IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME THAT GOOGLE BEGAN PURCHASING FORMER CHURCH BUILDINGS. DESCRIBED AT THE TIME AS A CHEAP REAL ESTATE OPTION, MANY NOW SEE IT AS A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO CO-OPT A LATENT SENSE OF VALUES, GIVEN FURTHER CREDENCE BY GOOGLE’S LAUNCH ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN.

38. IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME THAT GOOGLE BEGAN PURCHASING FORMER CHURCH BUILDINGS.

39. IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME THAT GOOGLE BEGAN PURCHASING FORMER CHURCH BUILDINGS. DESCRIBED AT THE TIME AS A CHEAP REAL ESTATE OPTION, MANY NOW SEE IT AS A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO CO-OPT A LATENT SENSE OF VALUES, GIVEN FURTHER CREDENCE BY GOOGLE’S LAUNCH ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN.

40. ‘ COME TO SURCH’ BROKE NEW GROUND WITH ITS SHOTS OF A WOMAN IN CLOTHES – AN IMAGE WHICH HADN’T BEEN SEEN IN THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA FOR YEARS – KNEELING IN FRONT OF A CHURCH.

41. AS MR SCHMIDT HAS SAID, ‘ WE WERE AMAZED. WITHOUT THE SALES MESSAGES AND EXPLICIT IMAGERY, PEOPLE BEGAN ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT THEMSELVES AND ABOUT BELIEF- ‘WHY AM I HERE?’, ‘WHAT DO I BELIEVE IN?

42. THAT THEY WERE SITTING IN OLD CHURCHES TO ASK THE QUESTIONS WAS INTERESTING, BUT WAS NOT PART OF OUR INTENTION. LARGE SOCIAL SPACES WERE –AND STILL ARE- INCREDIBLY HARD TO COME BY.’

43. AND PERHAPS ADDING CREDENCE TO THE IDEA OF A NEW RELIGION COMES THIS - THE LATEST UK CENSUS HAS REVEALED A SURPRISING FACT

44. WHEN ASKED TO IDENTIFY THEIR RELIGIOUS BELIEF, 38% OF THE UK POPULATION TICKED THE BOX ‘OTHER’ AND THEN ADDED THE WORD ‘GOOGLE’.

45. MANY ATTEMPTED TO MAKE CLEAR THAT THEY DIDN’T ADHERE TO ONE SET OF RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, BUT THAT THEY FELT EMPOWERED BY GOOGLE TO ‘MIX AND MATCH’ BELIEFS TO REFLECT PERSONAL VALUES.

46. AND FINALLY, IT SEEMS THAT NOT EVERYONE FINDS SONY’S LATEST AIBO LOVEABLE AFTER ALL. SONY INDUSTRIES HAVE BEEN FORCED TO ISSUE A PRODUCT RECALL OF THE LATEST CANINE TOY.

47. BEHAVIOURAL PROGRAMMER SANDRA KAZLOPSKI WAS ARRESTED AT HIS CONNECTICUT HOME AFTER HE WAS IDENTIFIED AS THE AUTHOR OF A MALICIOUS SUB-ROUTINE: THE AIBO HAD BEEN PROGRAMMED TO RECOGNISE THE AMAZON DELIVERY UNIFORM, APPROACH THE WEARER AND WHEN PHYSICAL CONTACT WAS MADE, DELIVER A 240 VOLT ELECTRIC SHOCK.

48. IT WOULD THEN CLIMB EITHER A TREE OR THE NEAREST TALL STRUCTURE, WAIT FOR ITS OWNER TO APPEAR, THEN HURL ITSELF TO THE GROUND, YELPING, CAUSING IRREPAIRABLE DAMAGE AND EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. WHEN ASKED WHY, KAZLOPSKI SAID HE HAD BECOME FED UP OF AMAZON STAFF, ‘NICKING HIS STUFF, MAN’: HE WENT ON: “I COLLECT OLD DVD MOVIES – IT’S MY THING, IT’S WHAT I DO, OK? DON’T JUDGE ME –

49. I’D PAY FOR ‘EM AND THEN THEY NEVER APPEARED! I SPENT A FORTUNE ON A COPY OF BUTTMASTER 9 AND IN NEVER SHOWED. I SAID TO THE GUY, HEY MAN- YOU KNOW WHERE MY MOVIE IS? AND HE JUST LAUGHED. THOSE GUYS WERE JUST RIPPING ME OFF - I DON’T REGRET IT.”

50. SONY INDUSTRIES IS THE SUBJECT OF 29 PERSONAL DISTRESS SUITS AND HAVE IN TURN ISSUED A SUIT AGAINST KAZLOPSKI FOR PROFESSIONAL MISCONDUCT. AMAZON, A WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF SONY INDUSTRIES, HAD NO COMMENT.

51. SOUNDS LIKE THAT’S A GUY WHO’S BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE! THAT’S ALL FROM ME. I’M TOM ADAMS. GOOD AFTERNOON- -AND GOD BLESS.