1. Breaking through the
“Cinderella Bias” barrier:
Stepfamily relationships
Celia Falchi, Ian M. Evans & Antonia Lyons
Massey University, Wellington

2. Acknowledgements
 Ian Evans & Antonia Lyons – Supervisors
 New Zealand Families Commission
 My Husband
 Mum (my stepmum Sera) – My inspiration and role model

3. The Big Question
Do positive functioning stepfamilies exist?

4. Because one question is never
enough…
 How do functioning stepfamilies with good step
relationships work around everyday issues of
fairness?
 What are the most common everyday situations
in these families that result in perceptions of
unfairness by children and adults?
 What resolution strategies are used to resolve
their situational issues?
 Does fairness, emotions, forgiveness and/or
acceptance influence family functioning in these
families?
 What advice do they have for other stepfamilies
when trying to deal with fairness issues?

5. Why is this research important?
 It is helpful to know what to aim towards.
 It is even more helpful to know how to do this.
 What has Positive Psychology got to do with it?

6. What has past research uncovered
already?
 Not too much
 Fairness matters, and children have a very
intense fairness radar!

7. Factors that contribute to
stepfamily success
 All for one and one for all (Banker &
Gaertner, 1998)
 Spending quality time together and
building positive memories (Hutchinson,
Afifi, & Krause, 2007)
 Fairness, acceptance, and forgiveness
(Whiting, Smith, Bamett, & Grafsky, 2007)
 Your child is my family too (Michaels,
2006)

8. DO YOU HAVE A HARMONIOUS FUNCTIONING
STEPFAMILY?
...WELL MOST OF THE TIME!

9. So who are they?

10. The Family Participants
 40 families (N=155 total family member participants), and consisted
of 9 stepparents, 20 biological parents, 47 both a step & biological
parent, 79 stepchildren.
 Lived together between 2-12 years
 The participant families had between 2 - 6 members taking part in
the research
 This families had between 2 – 8 living in the same household
44
50
35
40
23 24
30
Female
15
20 Male
7 5
10 2
0
Both a step & Stepparent only Biological Parent only Stepchild
biological parent

11. The Task
 Family Meeting
 Come up with a situation (fairness situation) and a resolution
 Have a turn presenting your situation to the rest of the family
 After each person’s turn (including your own) put your emotional
responses into the booklet
 If the situation was unfair did you forgive? Yes or No. If yes, then
why? What would you have preferred to have happen or can be
done better next time
Any advice for other stepfamilies when dealing with fairness
issues?
 Each family member participant to fill in a Family Assessment
Measurement Scale questionnaire (FAM III)
(Skinner, Steinhauer, Santa-Barbara, 2005)

12. Analysis

13. Scenarios
Stepparent
Both only Parent Stepchild
Differential treatment of children 9 0 2 13
Same rule for all children regardless of age or relationship 8 0 0 6
Fighting amongst children 5 1 1 17
Lack of a specific support from other famiy members 5 2 4 4
Disciplining child for misbehaviour 5 0 3 5
Issues around household chores 4 1 0 10
Missing out or gaining when at other household or with other 3 1 2 4
biological parent
Promising to do something, or supposed have, and not doing it 2 1 1 5
Disagreement or argument between child and step parent 1 2 1 5
Did not come up with a scenario 1 0 0 4
Expecting too much of a family member 1 0 3 1

14. 18
16
14
12
Frequencies
10
8
6
4
2
Both
0
Stepparent only
Parent
Stepchild
Scenarios

15. Resolutions
60
50
40
30
20
10
Frequency
0

16. 25
20
Both
Frequencies
Stepparent only
15
Parent
Stepchild
10
5
0
Resolutions

17. Scenario & Resolutions
 “Some children are in the house all the time so do more
jobs – others ½ the week so I allocate specific jobs
during the week” (Step & Biological Parent, Female, 43).
 “At Christmas time Sarah (stepsister) gets more presents
than me…John (father) doesn’t see me. That’s how
Sarah gets more presents, cause John hasn’t seen me.
Mum and Matthew (stepdad) tries to make up for it.
(Stepchild, Male, 10).
 “ Getting called the worst stepbrother ever by my
stepsister then later on gets in trouble for bad language
(Stepchild, Male, 11).

18. Family responses
Dad
Mum
Scenario
Scenario
Scenario Scenario
Child
1
Child
2

19. Fairness

20. Emotions
 Emotion ratings were rated for when the situation
occurred (pre), and again at the time of the family
meeting (post).
 The family member participants were able to select
any or all of the following emotions:
 Happy: Fine: Annoyed: Angry: Sad: Guilty:
Nothing: and Acceptance
The ratings were from 0 = nothing at all, to 5 =
extremely

21. Emotions
4.0
3.5
3.0
Mean Emotion Rating
2.5
2.0
Both
1.5 Stepparent only
Parent
1.0 Stepchild
0.5
0.0
Resolutions

22. Forgiveness
FAM-III Mean scores in relation to Forgiveness
50.00
48.00
on the FAM III scale
46.00
44.00
Mean scores
Mean Scores
42.00
40.00
38.00
Yes No Not applicable
Is Forgiveness Granted?

23. Why forgiveness
 “Because we have all made it better by doing exciting
things on the weekend as well as the week”
(Stepchild, Female, 12).
 “Because it happens a lot of times and we forgive each
other…we should try not to moan and groan to each
other” (Stepchild, Female, 10).
 “Because it was hard to keep up with the birthday
party’s” (Stepchild, Male, 12)

24. FAM III

25. Family Role Differences
50.00 47.23
46.25
45.20
45.00 41.48 42.00
40.57
38.40
40.00 37.07
35.00
Mean FAM T scores
30.00
25.00
Female
20.00 Male
15.00
10.00
5.00
0.00
Both Stepparent only Parent Stepchild
Family Member Role

26. Advice
 “Anyone who thinks it is easy being part of a stepfamily has got rocks in
their heads. It can get very complicated and needs a lot of understanding
between the adults. I think the main thing is to treat everyone as an equal.
This can be hard sometimes but it is important” (Step & Biological
Parent, Male, 43).
 “Communication is very important. Laugher and family time together is
helpful too. Mealtimes should be spent together at the table where each
family member can tell about their day. It is important to make each family
member feel loved and wanted” (Step & Biological Parent, Female, 48).
 “Having a stepparent is difficult. Especially when you do not completely get
along. You just need to accept that it’s no one’s fault that you are dealt this
set of cards, and to just love and accept each other for their roles in the
family…be open and honest, because anything that is causing issues may
be due to lack of communication” (Stepchild, Male, 15).

27. Any Questions?