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林晉如 Ted簡報2015
1.
寬容,化阻力為助力
2.
記得開學第三週,有次上課,在聽完我交代課堂 上的作業後,有個孩子莫名鼓譟不安,竟然當眾 大唱反調(當時我心理的OS是:又來了!) 他的「厚!我不要寫這個啦!習作很無聊耶!」 馬上引來其他孩子的盲目跟進,大家也跟著起哄 「我也不要寫啦!」甚至還有孩子敲桌拍手,大 家試圖用高分貝擊退老師的決定。
3.
我知道他正在挑戰教師權威,因為這不是第一次 發生,班級中會這樣缺乏理性而大聲鼓譟的孩子 其實不少,只要有個孩子先發動,後面就會引來 一群誤入迷途的羔羊。面對全班不理智的反對, 我心中不滿的溫度漸漸升高。
4.
怎麼辦?要破口大罵嗎?要嚴正警告發難者嗎? 鼓譟者一律連坐法處理嗎? 還是大喊「來人啊!全部拖出去斬了」? 我壓抑住瞬間飆高的血壓,有時候我都會覺得如 果沒有控制好自己的情緒,常常被這些接近青春 期風暴孩子的無禮行徑激怒,搞不好哪天課堂上 中風了。 我回到座位,啜飲一口冰茶,冷靜一下。
5.
破口大罵看似立即收效,但是下次再犯呢?又要 再大罵一次嗎?老師是有多大本事天天開飆罵人? 喔!不!那實在是太傷喉嚨了,多罵個幾次不久 就會出現職業病(喉嚨長繭開刀)。而且孩子被 罵變乖那只是因為要驅避「挨罵」這件事,並不 是發自內心想要改正,所以,罵一罵只能收短暫 之效,這次罵完藥效盡了,下次一樣會瘡好忘痛。 這孩子到底有沒有可取之處呢?
6.
忽然瞄到桌上他的作業,順手拿起來翻一翻,昨 天的作業寫得挺好的嘛!雖然字算不上極端正美 觀,但至少沒有任何錯誤,也算用心。 想起剛才的挑釁,我突然靈光一閃,拿起手機發 賴給孩子的媽媽。想必媽媽正在滑手機,賴才發 出去,媽媽立刻秒回一張貼圖。 我立刻喚了那位孩子,他尷尬又有點腦羞成怒的 表情想必是認為老師要找他算帳。我將我的手機 交給他,孩子不解的接過手機,我告訴他我剛跟 媽媽賴,孩子聽聞臉立刻垮下來。
7.
他一臉憤怒不屑的看著手機螢幕,但是,隨著視 覺下移,原本臉上剛硬的線條漸漸轉為柔和,眉 頭鬆了,嘴角上揚,笑得很靦腆,緊接著滿面的 羞愧與歉意。 是什麼讓孩子驟然改變?我做了什麼? 我傳賴告訴媽媽「孩子昨天的作業寫得認真一級 棒,看得出來有用心。」媽媽見文回了二張貼圖, 一張是「拍手鼓掌」的動態貼圖,一張圖是向老 師道感謝。
8.
我告訴孩子:「老師跟媽媽誇獎你昨天作業寫得 很用心,媽媽給你拍拍手喔!媽媽現在正在上班, 看見老師傳來的訊息,一定很開心,上班心情一 定變好!」孩子看到媽媽的鼓勵,笑了。 我問孩子:「如果媽媽知道你剛才上課的態度, 會怎麼樣呢?」孩子不好意思的低下頭了,他意 識到剛才的不當行為。不過,我跟他保證,我不 會告訴媽媽剛才發生的事。
9.
我問他:「現在願意寫習作了嗎?」他點點頭。 我告訴他寫習作是要知道自己上課吸收了多少, 讓老師知道你們還有哪裡有問題、有沒有把你們 教會,他用力點頭。 我目送他回座位,望著他回座的身影,其實我沒 有把握,面對高年級接近叛逆期的孩子,不知道 他到底能不能感受到老師的用心良苦?
10.
看到孩子坐下後,二話不說拿起筆開始振筆疾書, 頭沒抬起來過。原本旁邊跟著吱吱叫的同學,看 到他的改變也乖乖的寫起習作來了,整班安靜下 來。 看到這幕,慶幸剛才的自己沒有因為氣過頭、失 心瘋使用高壓禁止,而是把原本想要責備孩子的 話變成期許,孩子雖然欠缺「自我控制」的能力, 但是,他感受到老師對他的耐心和誠意,自己願 意自制及自律絕對勝過老師在課堂上大聲疾呼。 經過這次,這孩子上課的態度就上軌道了,再也 沒「出軌」。
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