Humorous quotations are from funny women and Patricia Morgan. Fun images are from Patricia's personal files. Enoy!

1. 1

2. If it is hard to say “no”, say
“I do not want to say yes!”
Patricia Morgan

3. 3
You take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: No one to blame.
Erica Jong

4. 4
Between two
evils, I always
pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West

5. May you hum
to yourself, “I am so
beautiful,
to me. Oh! Yes, I am!”
Patricia Morgan

6. 6
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. Natalie Wood

7. 7
When I learned to breathe deeply,
I saved my
children’s lives.
Patricia Morgan

8. 8
I figure if the kids are alive
at the end of the day, I’ve done my job.
Roseanne Barr

9. 9
What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto udders as you would have udders do unto you! Groaning? Farm girl in me did not resist!

10. I was raised by a mother who said, “Dust? Why, that is just clean dirt!”
Patricia Morgan

11. 11
I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Roseanne Barr

12. 12
Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. Laurie Kuslansky

13. Never forget, you are a some-bunny
to someone.
Yes you are!
Patricia Morgan

14. 14
If you can not be kind, at least
be vague.
Judith Martin

15. 15
The world’s biggest joke just might be how seriously you take yourself! Patricia Morgan

16. 16
You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Germaine Greer

17. 17
A Friend Is Like
Good Panty Hose...
• Hard to find
• Supportive
• Always lifts you up
• Makes you look better
• Covers your behind

18. 18
Tried on a thong
yesterday.
I’m still trying to dig it out.
“Maxine” J. Wagner

19. 19
When you’re not thin and blonde,
you come up with
a personality
real quick.
Kathy Najimy

20. 20
I discovered Victoria’s Secret!
She has no thing for women my age, my size, my modesty . . .
Patricia Morgan

21. 21
If you can not be a good example, then you will just have to be a horrid warning. Catherine Aird

22. 22
I would
have been much more
successful if I had married
a wife like me!
Patricia Morgan

23. 23
Never go
to bed mad.
Stay up and fight!
Phyllis Diller

24. 24
The best Floor Play there
ever was and is.
Patricia Morgan

25. 25
It doesn’t matter what you do in the bedroom
as long as you don’t do it in the street
and frighten the horses.
Beatrice S. Campbell

26. 26
There is no
sexpiration date.
AND you can aim to become Old Fart’s Tart.
Patricia Morgan

27. 27
This is what I think of
aging gracefully!
Patricia Morgan

28. 28

29. 29
Never forget; we have come a long way!
Photo Courtesy Glenbow Archives NA-206-27

30. Ask about my
WOW
Presentations
designed for women
403-242-7796
Patricia Morgan