A very personal report about getting over a break up. Speaking from personal experience I know how hard it can be when your life falls apart. The report I hope will help you understand more about the break up process and how you or your friends can get over the break up.

1. RICHARD BUTLER
Life & Business Coach
RichardButlerTheSuccessCoach.com
+3531442 9769
richardbutler.lifecoach@gmail.com
http://RichardButlerTheSuccessCoach.com
GETTING OVER
A BREAKUPThere is life after love

2. How to move on after a break up
Richard Butler
www.RichardButlerTheSuccessCoach.com
Introduction
This is a bit of a personal article. It’s about break ups. It’s personal because it’s something
that happened to me and that I lived through, and I know a lot of you may have experienced
this as some point. I honestly don’t wish this on anyone. A breakup takes an emotional toll
on you. It’s a time of negative energy. There are days that you may feel quite negative and
think that it will never pass, but it does, and this article will help you come to terms with a
breakup.
Let me tell you thought that during times like this you will be amazed at how strong you are
and how you can summon up inner strength that you have within you.I’d love to say this is
an easy process but it can be difficult. When you have a break up you will find that you heal
in stages. You can only move from one stage to the next when you are ready, not when
someone else says you are but when you know you are.
These strategies will help you come to terms with a breakup and will help you
overcome them:
GETTING OVER
a breakup
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3. Discover your spirituality – Healing can occur by connecting with the universe, call it God,
the creator, or whichever name you wish, however you may find that after a breakup you
seek out something more spiritual, something else that will help guide you and help you
heal.In a sense you begin to soul search. To look inside yourself and find the answers. You
may not believe it but you will soon find that perhaps what has happened was for a reason,
which at the time was unknown to me.
Richard’s Note – this happened to me, it was the hardest time in the world I felt my whole
life had been ripped apart. Over time I discovered that it was best for both of us to be apart
and move on a separate journey.
When I talk about being spiritual it is whatever makes you connect with a higher state of
being. Whatever makes you feel there is more to life. It can be church, Buda, or anything,
just go with the feeling
Become motivated – this is crucial. I remember after my breakup how down I felt. I kept
questioning everything and anything. Why did it happen? How much was my fault. I did not
want to see people or talk to people. I started to withdraw into myself and to be honest lost
motivation to do anything. You just feel like what the heck, why bother doing anything or
calling anyone. However you will not overcome the breakup unless you motivate yourself to
move on. Remember it’s ok to wallow a little, but don’t let it consume you. The longer you
stay wallowing and de-motivated the worse it is.
Believe me getting back to being motivated will be hard but you can do it. Set yourself mini
goals each day. Simple things like going for a walk, going for a coffee by yourself, meeting
friends. Every little helps.
Don’t fall back – It’s easy to fall back into your old relationship. This can happen that you
decide to give it one more chance, or you have a one night experience with your ex. It’s not
worth it. It will just hurt you further. Also don’t rush into another relationship of any sort too
soon. Give yourself some “me time” to reconnect with yourself. Find out what it means to be
your own best friend. Rediscover interests you may have lost. This to be honest was my
biggest downfall. I had lost contact with friends, my interests etc, so when my marriage
broke up I felt very alone and very much I guess lost. Slowly but surely I regained my
confidence, I just took it one step at a time.
Support will come from friends and family – Your friends and family will want to support
you. Don’t try to play the hero and say no to it. You need that support right now. I know that
my mother was very supportive of me when the breakup happened. Even taking me back
into the family home. Without her it would have been difficult. My sister too, although
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4. thousands of miles away was super supportive as well. Don’t push this support away as there
will be times in the first few months that you will need it.
Allow some time for reflection – It’s ok to reflect and ask yourself what went wrong, how
could you have prevented it, and most importantly what can you learn for the future. What
word of caution though, don’t spend too much time reflecting as this can turn into a vicious
cycle of depression. Again believe me I know. You start to reflect, you feel sad, you reflect
again feel sad again, and then you get de-motivated. Then you get angry for being de-
motivated and then you feel bad.
Not sure if you can relate to that but that’s how it happened for me. If you start to reflect too
much and complain too much this may push your friends, family and supporters away from
you.
The key thing is you really have to push yourself to get out there, to push your limits to
overcome the sadness, fear, regret, anger and host of other emotions you are feeling.
But you can overcome it, and you will, it just takes time.
So what did I learn?
I learned that love hurts, trust is a difficult thing, relationships take work, that I was not a
bad person, that the person I was with we had run our course. Were either of us bad people,
probably not, just the relationship was no longer working.
I also discovered that like a phoenix I could rise from the ashes. I learned that I lost many
opportunities because I felt sad for too long. But I also learned that what happened was for a
reason. I now live in Barcelona, have a wonderful partner (although she lives in Ireland!) but
I am finally feeling more at home, here in Spain, it’s like a feeling of coming home to your
roots.
So all in all, the pain was worth the gain
Please feel free to comment, share and to reflect on this article
Find out more about Richard and his life and internet business coaching at
www.RichardButlerTheSuccessCoach.com
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