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Peace in the Workplace
Presented By Sharon Dolak

Alternative Dispute Resolution
Definition and Causes
Causes:

CONFLICT

Differing Values
Poor Communications
Selfishness
Personality Disorders
Evil Intent

IDEAS, INTERESTS OR BEHAVIORS CLASH

Scarce Resources

As a veteran Dental Hygienist I have seen a great deal of conflict in the dental office. While disagreements and differences are usually uncomfortable, nerve-racking, and unsettling
the results are not always bad. Before proceeding let's characterize conflict. Conflict occurs when the ideas, interests, or behaviors of two or more individuals or groups clash. The
clash can be a minor exchange of words, (“You are crazy, I am not going to clean that up”) to a power play (“That isn’t my job”). 1 Conflict can have many causes. Sometimes it
results from differing values, other times from poor communication. It could also result from selfishness, a personality disorder, evil intent on the part of one party, or scarce
resources.
Conflict Manager Style

Win/Lose

Avoidance

Conflict is unhealthy when it is avoided or approached on a win/lose basis, where one side is the winner and one is the loser. It has also been my
experience that most people will want to avoid the whole situation hoping that everyone will settle down and the problem will just go away. Conflict
management styles that are either aggressive (win/lose) or avoidant (see no evil/hear no evil) are ineffective.
Conflict Can Motivate a Team to Success

However, when handled properly, conflict can motivate a team towards positive growth and change. Positive conflict can be very useful when the healthy
team is focused on finding ways to resolve a problem in the business.
Avoidance

Competition

Collaboratio
n

Compromise

Accomodatio
n

Five Conflict Styles

Based on the work of Wilmont and Hocker, 1998, Interpersonal Conflict) there are five conflict styles we use at home, at work, with our family and with people we meet.
2 Thomas Killman created an inventory to assess which style you have a preference for. It is abbreviated as TKI
Avoidance, Competition, Compromise, Accommodation, Collaboration
Avoidance
Useful in Short Term Relationships
Allows Thinking on Your Feet
Conflict Escalates

Avoidance: This style can be useful if the relationship is short–term, not important to the person, if the person needs time to “think on their feet” before responding, or if the issue
is minor. However, most conflicts are not resolved through avoidance and will reappear later and with more force. Avoidance can give the impression that you don’t care enough
about the person or the issue to engage in the conflict, and can reinforce the impression that dealing directly with the conflict is harmful.
Competition
Relationships are Short Term
Appropriate in Emergencies
Win/Lose Solutions

Competition: This style works when the relationship is short term or when people are competing in games and sports. It can be appropriate when quick, decisive action is needed
such as in an emergency. Competition can be harmful to relationships by reducing the negotiation to win/lose. It can also escalate the conflict, or encourage passive/aggressive
tactics from the other party. Solutions are seen as win/lose.
Compromise
Solutions are Short Term
Modified Gains and Losses
Perceived as Giving Up

Compromise: This style can be less time consuming than collaboration. It is often used when other methods have failed. It works best when solutions are short- term and when
both parties feel that this is the most reasonable approach. Compromise can become an “easy way out” resulting in modified gains and losses. It is seldom received as win/win.
When power is unequal. It can be seen as giving up. Interests are met to the fullest extent possible.
Accommodation
Relationship > Resolving Issue
Harmony > Needs of the Person
Creative Problem Solving Reduced

Accommodation: This is very useful if preserving the relationship is more important than resolving the issue, or if the issue is more important to one person than to the other. A
disadvantage is the desire for harmony can supersede the needs of the accommodating party. Creative problem solving is reduced. One person’s needs are met more fully than the
other’s.
Collaboration
Preserves the Relationship
Both Parties Needs are Met
Highly Valued Integrative Solutions

Collaboration: This style preserves the relationship as well as the needs of both parties. There is a high value placed on integrative solutions. Collaboration demonstrates that
conflict resolution can be productive and creative. This style can be the most time-consuming conflict resolution process. If investment in the relationship is low the time and
energy necessary may not be worth the outcome. It favors those with a high degree of verbal communication skills that could be used to manipulate or set up a power imbalance.
A team can be smiling on the outside and be like this on the inside

Considering how closely everyone in businesses work together, all of these styles are used at any given moment during the day.There is no denying that in the short term a team can
be in conflict with one another and still be smiling and greeting clients or customers, addressing concerns, and handling problems. In the long run, however, businesses whose team,
behind the scenes, who is bickering, gossiping, and remain in conflict is neither sustainable nor productive in human and financial terms. Firing, hiring and retraining is time intensive
and costly
Unresolved Conflict Costs Money
Bottom line: unresolved conflict costs money.
Fundamentally, business is built on relationships. Manager to employee; employee to employee: employee to customers and so on…
In a healthy workplace, service and profit flow smoothly through open communications. As staff communication and relationships remain
open, clients receive good treatment, and the business is profitable. As relationships among staff deteriorate, service erodes as well. So
there is a direct link between the quality of the relationships in your business and the quality of your service, production, and profit.
Most of you didn’t go to school to become facilitators of human relationships, so you may not want to mediate conflicts, or you may not
know how.
Conflict Spreads Like a Virus

I can share with you through my experience that everyone has encountered a petty workplace conflict between two team members—
Consider this -You have two employees whom you are paying about $33,000 each per year. Over the past four weeks they have been engaged in a disagreement.
You may not even remember what it was about, but it was over an insignificant matter, like the way one of them looked at the other –Petty- so you didn't immediately address the problem. But your avoidance turned
out to be a big mistake. Tension escalated to the point where staff were snarling at each other and building up more tension between themselves and everyone else in the office. It’s as if one person sneezed, and
everyone got sick.
On the conservative side, they each spend about two hours a week of their time gossiping, recruiting other team members to one side or the other, planning defenses and navigating the drama. You think this is an
insignificant matter and leave it to them to work it out. What started out as a petty issue has gone ‘viral’ and the entire office is now involved. Everyone is infected.
Curing the problem could cost the business thousands of dollars. Staggering! Businesses are filled with people who have differences of wants, needs, and expectations. So, of course disagreements will occur. The
trouble isn't necessarily the fact that conflict exists. It's how you deal or don’t deal with those conflicts that matter. Allowed to proliferate, the viral conflict results in a toxic workplace environment.
And it is happening in most businesses
While every manager or owner knows that such workplace conflicts affect productivity and morale, the direct cost of office drama is not as obvious.
85% of Employees
Experience Conflict at All
Levels
2.8 Hours Per Week Spent Dealing
With Conflict
$359 Billion in Paid Hours

CPP Inc.--publishers of the Myers-Briggs Assessment and the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument--commissioned a study on workplace conflict, finding that in 2008, U.S.
employees spent 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict. This amounts to approximately $359 billion in paid hours (based on average hourly earnings of $17.95), or the equivalent
of 385 million working days.
So yes again it is worth repeating that when a conflict goes viral, a lot of time and money goes to gossiping, protecting turf, retaliating, recruiting people to one side or the other,
planning defenses and navigating the drama. More importantly, that's time spent away from taking care of your office day to day business. In other words, it’s as if everyone called in
sick because no one is working their jobs.
Morale

Sabotage

Absence

Turnover

Effects of Unresolved Conflict
Unresolved Conflict

The Unrecognized

Largest Reducible Cost
So what is an business to do? When we are in conflict, we say things we do not mean and we mean things we do not say. Rarely do we communicate at a deep level to express truly
what we are thinking and feeling.
Conflict is a story. It’s a story you tell yourself about what happened, how it happened, and why it happened. It’s a story you tell others as a way to seek comfort or understanding. In most cases
involving conflict, it’s a story you repeat. You think about it in the shower. You talk about it with a best friend. You ponder it on your lunchtime run. As you tell yourself this story over and over,
themes emerge. Certain words, actions, or events stand out. These themes shape the conclusions you draw, what you do to soothe yourself, and what you do next in the situation or
relationship. The more you tell yourself the story, or narrative, of the conflict, the more you believe it. It begins to feel right as a way to explain the events. Our conflict stories can get us into
trouble because we treat them like it is the truth. Except it’s not.

18
Early Intervention

Feel Better Faster

Avoidance promotes turnover and escalating conflict, which are expensive emotionally and financially. Realistically it is difficult, if not impossible, for people who are warring to
come to peace without some outside influence or help.
Early intervention is key. How you address conflict will either add to or take away from your bottom line. When conflicts are handled quickly, people feel better faster, and they
interact in healthier ways
The Solution

Mediation

A mediator just could be the solution to help the team get back on the track to productivity and focus on the job.
A mediator provides a forum and an atmosphere for communication where parties gain understanding, become understood, and work together to explore options for resolution.
Mediation
Identifies Issues
Decides Resolution Options
Reach Agreement
Resolves Conflict

What is mediation?
Workplace mediation is a confidential process where an impartial and independent person assists two or more people resolve workplace issues or conflict. It provides a structured
process designed to identify disputed issues, decide between options for resolution, and reach a mutually satisfying agreement.
When I mediate a dispute in an office I model and teach appropriate listening techniques. Most people think of communication as talking; however, effective communication is really
about listening. Many of the most important facets of your life are greatly influenced by your skills or lack of skills in listening. The quality of your friendships, the cohesiveness of your
relationships, your effectiveness at work, these hinge, on your ability to listen.
By listening, I identify the underlying interests in the dispute to reach resolution. And most importantly show how to communicate respectfully to inoculate against future disputes. The result is a
healthy office environment where increased morale and productivity can flourish. Where your team can concentrate on their job at hand.

22
Mediation

Emotional Tension Decreases Quickly

Mediation requires that each person take responsibility for their part in the conflict. The parties in dispute guide the outcome of the mediation process and its resolution. This
leads to empowerment in the healing process.
The emotional tension dramatically decreases quickly most times in the very first stage of mediation. That is its design and this early response breaks the tension allowing all
involved to cool off and consider better ways to cure their problems.
Benefits of Mediation
Rapid Resolution
Confidential
Private and Voluntary
Preserves Relationships

Mediation offers a rapid resolution- When parties want to get on with their business and their lives, mediation may be desirable as a means of producing rapid results. The
majority of mediations are completed in one or two sessions.
▪
Mediation is confidential- The mediator will not disclose any information revealed during the mediation. The sessions are not tape-recorded or transcribed. At the
conclusion of the mediation, any notes taken during the mediation session are destroyed.
▪

Mediation is private and voluntary

▪
Preservation of relationships- Many disputes occur in the context of ongoing work relationships. Mediated settlements that address all parties’ interests often
preserve working relationships in ways that would not be possible in a win/lose decision-making procedure. The team can remain in tact and go back to doing what they do best,
their job.
Benefits of Mediation
Develops Problem Solving Skills
Win/ Win Outcomes
Saves Time & Money
Solutions Stick
A foundation for future problem solving-After a mediation if a subsequent dispute occurs, parties are more likely to utilize a cooperative forum of problem solving to
resolve their differences than to pursue an adversarial approach. 6
Mutually satisfying outcome- win /win solution- Parties are generally more satisfied with solutions that have been mutually agreed upon. If only a few members feel better in the
process, you will have continued problems. Mediation soothes everyone’s ill feelings.
Saves time,money and relationships-A mediated settlement that addresses all parties' interests will preserve a working relationship in ways that would not be possible in a
win/lose decision-making process. Mediation can even make the termination of a relationship more amicable.
High rate of compliance- Parties who have reached their own agreement in mediation are also generally more likely to follow through and comply with its terms than those whose
resolution has been imposed by a third party decision-maker.
Solutions Hold Up Over Time -Mediated settlements tend to provide a permanent cure, and if a later dispute results, the parties are more likely to utilize collaborative problemsolving to resolve their differences than to pursue an adversarial approach.
The benefits of Mediation are numerous. It is by far the most advantageous way to reach a mutually satisfactory resolution to any conflict. Mediation is win/win. It’s win for you,
win for the rest of the staff, win for your boss, win for your clients and win for business production.
Four Stages of Mediation
Phase 1
Phase 1

Identify Underlying Interests

Phase 2
Phase 2

Brainstorm Ideas

Phase 3
Phase 3

Co Create a Joint Solution Statement

Phase 4
Phase 4

Settlement and MOA

The mediation process occurs in four stages
In Stage 1 Each person tells the story that reflects their point of view and reveals their underlying interests
Stage 2 Develop the order of the issues and brainstorm Ideas
Stage 3 Co Create a joint solution statement
Stage 4 Final Bargaining for Settlement. In this stage the MOA is drawn up, reviewed and ultimately signed with the parties agreeing to the solutions to the dispute.
The Team Decides the Resolution
Resolve Conflict
Accomplish
More
Thank You
Feel Better

Work in Peace

I hope that I have demonstrated in this brief time that unresolved conflict in your business is costing you money. Avoidance and hoping it all goes away in the long run is not an
option for a thriving productive business. Mediation is a solution that resolves conflict quickly, preserves relationships and teaches listening skills, respect for differences and
prevents conflict in the future.
Think about this...How would it feel for you if were to go into work on Monday and found peace? Would you like to resolve conflict that’s over-shadowing your life? Would you like
to reduce tension in an important business, professional, or personal relationship?
Can you accomplish more, feel better, engage with your family more, and create a healthy balance in your life? Yes, you can. And I can help.
Sharon Dolak received her Mediation Certificate in 2006 from Texas Woman’s University and advanced her skills and certifications to include
Mediation, Arbitration and Workplace mediation earning her the credential of MDR from Mediators Without Borders. In 2013 Sharon completed
training through Mediation Dynamics that satisfied the standards of the Texas Mediation Trainers Roundtable (and also the Texas Mediator
Credentialing Association) for family mediation training. Sharon is trained in the fields of family dynamics, child development, and "family law” as
specified by Texas law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code section 154.052). She is qualified as a court-appointed mediator able to perform
mediation of disputes relating to the parent-child relationship (most frequently in divorce and post-divorce cases).

29
srdolak@msn.com
817.781.7910
sharondolakmediation.com

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Peace in the Workplace

  • 1. Peace in the Workplace Presented By Sharon Dolak Alternative Dispute Resolution
  • 2. Definition and Causes Causes: CONFLICT Differing Values Poor Communications Selfishness Personality Disorders Evil Intent IDEAS, INTERESTS OR BEHAVIORS CLASH Scarce Resources As a veteran Dental Hygienist I have seen a great deal of conflict in the dental office. While disagreements and differences are usually uncomfortable, nerve-racking, and unsettling the results are not always bad. Before proceeding let's characterize conflict. Conflict occurs when the ideas, interests, or behaviors of two or more individuals or groups clash. The clash can be a minor exchange of words, (“You are crazy, I am not going to clean that up”) to a power play (“That isn’t my job”). 1 Conflict can have many causes. Sometimes it results from differing values, other times from poor communication. It could also result from selfishness, a personality disorder, evil intent on the part of one party, or scarce resources.
  • 3. Conflict Manager Style Win/Lose Avoidance Conflict is unhealthy when it is avoided or approached on a win/lose basis, where one side is the winner and one is the loser. It has also been my experience that most people will want to avoid the whole situation hoping that everyone will settle down and the problem will just go away. Conflict management styles that are either aggressive (win/lose) or avoidant (see no evil/hear no evil) are ineffective.
  • 4. Conflict Can Motivate a Team to Success However, when handled properly, conflict can motivate a team towards positive growth and change. Positive conflict can be very useful when the healthy team is focused on finding ways to resolve a problem in the business.
  • 5. Avoidance Competition Collaboratio n Compromise Accomodatio n Five Conflict Styles Based on the work of Wilmont and Hocker, 1998, Interpersonal Conflict) there are five conflict styles we use at home, at work, with our family and with people we meet. 2 Thomas Killman created an inventory to assess which style you have a preference for. It is abbreviated as TKI Avoidance, Competition, Compromise, Accommodation, Collaboration
  • 6. Avoidance Useful in Short Term Relationships Allows Thinking on Your Feet Conflict Escalates Avoidance: This style can be useful if the relationship is short–term, not important to the person, if the person needs time to “think on their feet” before responding, or if the issue is minor. However, most conflicts are not resolved through avoidance and will reappear later and with more force. Avoidance can give the impression that you don’t care enough about the person or the issue to engage in the conflict, and can reinforce the impression that dealing directly with the conflict is harmful.
  • 7. Competition Relationships are Short Term Appropriate in Emergencies Win/Lose Solutions Competition: This style works when the relationship is short term or when people are competing in games and sports. It can be appropriate when quick, decisive action is needed such as in an emergency. Competition can be harmful to relationships by reducing the negotiation to win/lose. It can also escalate the conflict, or encourage passive/aggressive tactics from the other party. Solutions are seen as win/lose.
  • 8. Compromise Solutions are Short Term Modified Gains and Losses Perceived as Giving Up Compromise: This style can be less time consuming than collaboration. It is often used when other methods have failed. It works best when solutions are short- term and when both parties feel that this is the most reasonable approach. Compromise can become an “easy way out” resulting in modified gains and losses. It is seldom received as win/win. When power is unequal. It can be seen as giving up. Interests are met to the fullest extent possible.
  • 9. Accommodation Relationship > Resolving Issue Harmony > Needs of the Person Creative Problem Solving Reduced Accommodation: This is very useful if preserving the relationship is more important than resolving the issue, or if the issue is more important to one person than to the other. A disadvantage is the desire for harmony can supersede the needs of the accommodating party. Creative problem solving is reduced. One person’s needs are met more fully than the other’s.
  • 10. Collaboration Preserves the Relationship Both Parties Needs are Met Highly Valued Integrative Solutions Collaboration: This style preserves the relationship as well as the needs of both parties. There is a high value placed on integrative solutions. Collaboration demonstrates that conflict resolution can be productive and creative. This style can be the most time-consuming conflict resolution process. If investment in the relationship is low the time and energy necessary may not be worth the outcome. It favors those with a high degree of verbal communication skills that could be used to manipulate or set up a power imbalance.
  • 11. A team can be smiling on the outside and be like this on the inside Considering how closely everyone in businesses work together, all of these styles are used at any given moment during the day.There is no denying that in the short term a team can be in conflict with one another and still be smiling and greeting clients or customers, addressing concerns, and handling problems. In the long run, however, businesses whose team, behind the scenes, who is bickering, gossiping, and remain in conflict is neither sustainable nor productive in human and financial terms. Firing, hiring and retraining is time intensive and costly
  • 12. Unresolved Conflict Costs Money Bottom line: unresolved conflict costs money. Fundamentally, business is built on relationships. Manager to employee; employee to employee: employee to customers and so on… In a healthy workplace, service and profit flow smoothly through open communications. As staff communication and relationships remain open, clients receive good treatment, and the business is profitable. As relationships among staff deteriorate, service erodes as well. So there is a direct link between the quality of the relationships in your business and the quality of your service, production, and profit. Most of you didn’t go to school to become facilitators of human relationships, so you may not want to mediate conflicts, or you may not know how.
  • 13. Conflict Spreads Like a Virus I can share with you through my experience that everyone has encountered a petty workplace conflict between two team members— Consider this -You have two employees whom you are paying about $33,000 each per year. Over the past four weeks they have been engaged in a disagreement. You may not even remember what it was about, but it was over an insignificant matter, like the way one of them looked at the other –Petty- so you didn't immediately address the problem. But your avoidance turned out to be a big mistake. Tension escalated to the point where staff were snarling at each other and building up more tension between themselves and everyone else in the office. It’s as if one person sneezed, and everyone got sick. On the conservative side, they each spend about two hours a week of their time gossiping, recruiting other team members to one side or the other, planning defenses and navigating the drama. You think this is an insignificant matter and leave it to them to work it out. What started out as a petty issue has gone ‘viral’ and the entire office is now involved. Everyone is infected. Curing the problem could cost the business thousands of dollars. Staggering! Businesses are filled with people who have differences of wants, needs, and expectations. So, of course disagreements will occur. The trouble isn't necessarily the fact that conflict exists. It's how you deal or don’t deal with those conflicts that matter. Allowed to proliferate, the viral conflict results in a toxic workplace environment. And it is happening in most businesses While every manager or owner knows that such workplace conflicts affect productivity and morale, the direct cost of office drama is not as obvious.
  • 14. 85% of Employees Experience Conflict at All Levels 2.8 Hours Per Week Spent Dealing With Conflict $359 Billion in Paid Hours CPP Inc.--publishers of the Myers-Briggs Assessment and the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument--commissioned a study on workplace conflict, finding that in 2008, U.S. employees spent 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict. This amounts to approximately $359 billion in paid hours (based on average hourly earnings of $17.95), or the equivalent of 385 million working days.
  • 15. So yes again it is worth repeating that when a conflict goes viral, a lot of time and money goes to gossiping, protecting turf, retaliating, recruiting people to one side or the other, planning defenses and navigating the drama. More importantly, that's time spent away from taking care of your office day to day business. In other words, it’s as if everyone called in sick because no one is working their jobs.
  • 18. So what is an business to do? When we are in conflict, we say things we do not mean and we mean things we do not say. Rarely do we communicate at a deep level to express truly what we are thinking and feeling. Conflict is a story. It’s a story you tell yourself about what happened, how it happened, and why it happened. It’s a story you tell others as a way to seek comfort or understanding. In most cases involving conflict, it’s a story you repeat. You think about it in the shower. You talk about it with a best friend. You ponder it on your lunchtime run. As you tell yourself this story over and over, themes emerge. Certain words, actions, or events stand out. These themes shape the conclusions you draw, what you do to soothe yourself, and what you do next in the situation or relationship. The more you tell yourself the story, or narrative, of the conflict, the more you believe it. It begins to feel right as a way to explain the events. Our conflict stories can get us into trouble because we treat them like it is the truth. Except it’s not. 18
  • 19. Early Intervention Feel Better Faster Avoidance promotes turnover and escalating conflict, which are expensive emotionally and financially. Realistically it is difficult, if not impossible, for people who are warring to come to peace without some outside influence or help. Early intervention is key. How you address conflict will either add to or take away from your bottom line. When conflicts are handled quickly, people feel better faster, and they interact in healthier ways
  • 20. The Solution Mediation A mediator just could be the solution to help the team get back on the track to productivity and focus on the job. A mediator provides a forum and an atmosphere for communication where parties gain understanding, become understood, and work together to explore options for resolution.
  • 21. Mediation Identifies Issues Decides Resolution Options Reach Agreement Resolves Conflict What is mediation? Workplace mediation is a confidential process where an impartial and independent person assists two or more people resolve workplace issues or conflict. It provides a structured process designed to identify disputed issues, decide between options for resolution, and reach a mutually satisfying agreement.
  • 22. When I mediate a dispute in an office I model and teach appropriate listening techniques. Most people think of communication as talking; however, effective communication is really about listening. Many of the most important facets of your life are greatly influenced by your skills or lack of skills in listening. The quality of your friendships, the cohesiveness of your relationships, your effectiveness at work, these hinge, on your ability to listen. By listening, I identify the underlying interests in the dispute to reach resolution. And most importantly show how to communicate respectfully to inoculate against future disputes. The result is a healthy office environment where increased morale and productivity can flourish. Where your team can concentrate on their job at hand. 22
  • 23. Mediation Emotional Tension Decreases Quickly Mediation requires that each person take responsibility for their part in the conflict. The parties in dispute guide the outcome of the mediation process and its resolution. This leads to empowerment in the healing process. The emotional tension dramatically decreases quickly most times in the very first stage of mediation. That is its design and this early response breaks the tension allowing all involved to cool off and consider better ways to cure their problems.
  • 24. Benefits of Mediation Rapid Resolution Confidential Private and Voluntary Preserves Relationships Mediation offers a rapid resolution- When parties want to get on with their business and their lives, mediation may be desirable as a means of producing rapid results. The majority of mediations are completed in one or two sessions. ▪ Mediation is confidential- The mediator will not disclose any information revealed during the mediation. The sessions are not tape-recorded or transcribed. At the conclusion of the mediation, any notes taken during the mediation session are destroyed. ▪ Mediation is private and voluntary ▪ Preservation of relationships- Many disputes occur in the context of ongoing work relationships. Mediated settlements that address all parties’ interests often preserve working relationships in ways that would not be possible in a win/lose decision-making procedure. The team can remain in tact and go back to doing what they do best, their job.
  • 25. Benefits of Mediation Develops Problem Solving Skills Win/ Win Outcomes Saves Time & Money Solutions Stick A foundation for future problem solving-After a mediation if a subsequent dispute occurs, parties are more likely to utilize a cooperative forum of problem solving to resolve their differences than to pursue an adversarial approach. 6 Mutually satisfying outcome- win /win solution- Parties are generally more satisfied with solutions that have been mutually agreed upon. If only a few members feel better in the process, you will have continued problems. Mediation soothes everyone’s ill feelings. Saves time,money and relationships-A mediated settlement that addresses all parties' interests will preserve a working relationship in ways that would not be possible in a win/lose decision-making process. Mediation can even make the termination of a relationship more amicable. High rate of compliance- Parties who have reached their own agreement in mediation are also generally more likely to follow through and comply with its terms than those whose resolution has been imposed by a third party decision-maker. Solutions Hold Up Over Time -Mediated settlements tend to provide a permanent cure, and if a later dispute results, the parties are more likely to utilize collaborative problemsolving to resolve their differences than to pursue an adversarial approach. The benefits of Mediation are numerous. It is by far the most advantageous way to reach a mutually satisfactory resolution to any conflict. Mediation is win/win. It’s win for you, win for the rest of the staff, win for your boss, win for your clients and win for business production.
  • 26. Four Stages of Mediation Phase 1 Phase 1 Identify Underlying Interests Phase 2 Phase 2 Brainstorm Ideas Phase 3 Phase 3 Co Create a Joint Solution Statement Phase 4 Phase 4 Settlement and MOA The mediation process occurs in four stages In Stage 1 Each person tells the story that reflects their point of view and reveals their underlying interests Stage 2 Develop the order of the issues and brainstorm Ideas Stage 3 Co Create a joint solution statement Stage 4 Final Bargaining for Settlement. In this stage the MOA is drawn up, reviewed and ultimately signed with the parties agreeing to the solutions to the dispute.
  • 27. The Team Decides the Resolution
  • 28. Resolve Conflict Accomplish More Thank You Feel Better Work in Peace I hope that I have demonstrated in this brief time that unresolved conflict in your business is costing you money. Avoidance and hoping it all goes away in the long run is not an option for a thriving productive business. Mediation is a solution that resolves conflict quickly, preserves relationships and teaches listening skills, respect for differences and prevents conflict in the future. Think about this...How would it feel for you if were to go into work on Monday and found peace? Would you like to resolve conflict that’s over-shadowing your life? Would you like to reduce tension in an important business, professional, or personal relationship? Can you accomplish more, feel better, engage with your family more, and create a healthy balance in your life? Yes, you can. And I can help.
  • 29. Sharon Dolak received her Mediation Certificate in 2006 from Texas Woman’s University and advanced her skills and certifications to include Mediation, Arbitration and Workplace mediation earning her the credential of MDR from Mediators Without Borders. In 2013 Sharon completed training through Mediation Dynamics that satisfied the standards of the Texas Mediation Trainers Roundtable (and also the Texas Mediator Credentialing Association) for family mediation training. Sharon is trained in the fields of family dynamics, child development, and "family law” as specified by Texas law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code section 154.052). She is qualified as a court-appointed mediator able to perform mediation of disputes relating to the parent-child relationship (most frequently in divorce and post-divorce cases). 29

Editor's Notes

  1. Hello and thank you for the opportunity to be here today. My name is Sharon Dolak. I am a 30 year Registered Dental Hygienist and alternative dispute resolution specialist. What that means is I have training and certifications in basic mediation, workplace mediation and arbitration. I mediate disputes between teams in small businesses especially dental and medical practices. However wherever there is a dispute I can mediate.Today the question I hope to answer for you is Why consider mediation to settle disputes in your workplace.
  2. As a veteran Dental Hygienist I have seen a great deal of conflict in the dental office. While disagreements and differences are usually uncomfortable, nerve-racking, and unsettling the results are not always bad. Before proceeding let's characterize conflict. Conflict occurs when the ideas, interests, or behaviors of two or more individuals or groups clash. The clash can be a minor exchange of words, (“You are crazy, I am not going to clean that up”) to a power play (“That isn’t my job”). 1 Conflict can have many causes. Sometimes it results from differing values, other times from poor communication. It could also result from selfishness, a personality disorder, evil intent on the part of one party, or scarce resources.
  3. Conflict is unhealthy when it is avoided or approached on a win/lose basis, where one side is the winner and one is the loser. It has also been my experience that most people will want to avoid the whole situation hoping that everyone will settle down and the problem will just go away. Conflict management styles that are either aggressive (win/lose) or avoidant (see no evil/hear no evil) are ineffective.
  4. However, when handled properly, conflict can motivate a team towards positive growth and change. Positive conflict can be very useful when the healthy team is focused on finding ways to resolve a problem in the business.
  5. Based on the work of Wilmont and Hocker, 1998, Interpersonal Conflict) there are five conflict styles we use at home, at work, with our family and with people we meet. 2 Thomas Killman created an inventory to assess which style you have a preference for. It is abbreviated as TKI Avoidance Competition Compromise Accommodation Collaboration
  6. Avoidance: This style can be useful if the relationship is short–term, not important to the person, if the person needs time to “think on their feet” before responding, or if the issue is minor. However, most conflicts are not resolved through avoidance and will reappear later and with more force. Avoidance can give the impression that you don’t care enough about the person or the issue to engage in the conflict, and can reinforce the impression that dealing directly with the conflict is harmful.
  7. Competition: This style works when the relationship is short term or when people are competing in games and sports. It can be appropriate when quick, decisive action is needed such as in an emergency. Competition can be harmful to relationships by reducing the negotiation to win/lose. It can also escalate the conflict, or encourage passive/aggressive tactics from the other party. Solutions are seen as win/lose.
  8. Compromise: This style can be less time consuming than collaboration. It is often used when other methods have failed. It works best when solutions are short- term and when both parties feel that this is the most reasonable approach. Compromise can become an “easy way out” resulting in modified gains and losses. It is seldom received as win/win. When power is unequal. It can be seen as giving up. Interests are met to the fullest extent possible.
  9. Accommodation: This is very useful if preserving the relationship is more important than resolving the issue, or if the issue is more important to one person than to the other. A disadvantage is the desire for harmony can supersede the needs of the accommodating party. Creative problem solving is reduced. One person’s needs are met more fully than the other’s.
  10. Collaboration: This style preserves the relationship as well as the needs of both parties. There is a high value placed on integrative solutions. Collaboration demonstrates that conflict resolution can be productive and creative. This style can be the most time-consuming conflict resolution process. If investment in the relationship is low the time and energy necessary may not be worth the outcome. It favors those with a high degree of verbal communication skills that could be used to manipulate or set up a power imbalance.
  11. Considering how closely everyone in businesses work together, all of these styles are used at any given moment during the day. There is no denying that in the short term a team can be in conflict with one another and still be smiling and greeting clients or customers, addressing concerns, and handling problems. In the long run, however, businesses whose team, behind the scenes, who is bickering, gossiping, and remain in conflict is neither sustainable nor productive in human and financial terms. Firing, hiring and retraining is time intensive and costly
  12. Bottom line: unresolved conflict costs money. Fundamentally, business is built on relationships. Manager to employee; employee to employee: employee to customers and so on… In a healthy workplace, service and profit flow smoothly through open communications. As staff communication and relationships remain open, clients receive good treatment, and the business is profitable. As relationships among staff deteriorate, service erodes as well. So there is a direct link between the quality of the relationships in your business and the quality of your service, production, and profit. Most of you didn’t go to school to become facilitators of human relationships, so you may not want to mediate conflicts, or you may not know how.
  13. I can share with you through my experience that everyone has encountered a petty workplace conflict between two team members— Consider this -You have two employees whom you are paying about $33,000 each per year. Over the past four weeks they have been engaged in a disagreement. You may not even remember what it was about, but it was over an insignificant matter, like the way one of them looked at the other –Petty- so you didn't immediately address the problem. But your avoidance turned out to be a big mistake. Tension escalated to the point where staff were snarling at each other and building up more tension between themselves and everyone else in the office. It’s as if one person sneezed, and everyone got sick. On the conservative side, they each spend about two hours a week of their time gossiping, recruiting other team members to one side or the other, planning defenses and navigating the drama. You think this is an insignificant matter and leave it to them to work it out. What started out as a petty issue has gone ‘viral’ and the entire office is now involved. Everyone is infected. Curing the problem could cost the business thousands of dollars. Staggering! Businesses are filled with people who have differences of wants, needs, and expectations. So, of course disagreements will occur. The trouble isn't necessarily the fact that conflict exists. It's how you deal or don’t deal with those conflicts that matter. Allowed to proliferate, the viral conflict results in a toxic workplace environment. And it is happening in most businesses While every manager or owner knows that such workplace conflicts affect productivity and morale, the direct cost of office drama is not as obvious.
  14. CPP Inc.--publishers of the Myers-Briggs Assessment and the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument--commissioned a study on workplace conflict, finding that in 2008, U.S. employees spent 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict. This amounts to approximately $359 billion in paid hours (based on average hourly earnings of $17.95), or the equivalent of 385 million working days.
  15. So yes again it is worth repeating that when a conflict goes viral, a lot of time and money goes to gossiping, protecting turf, retaliating, recruiting people to one side or the other, planning defenses and navigating the drama. More importantly, that's time spent away from taking care of your office day to day business. In other words, it’s as if everyone called in sick because no one is working their jobs.
  16. Some of the effects of unresolved conflict are 1. Morale-Not only do employees experience poor morale, supervisors and business owners do, too. Note that according to Healthy Companies International, 40% of employees don’t think the person they report to deals well with workplace conflicts and believe that bosses are least likely to handle or even address conflicts. 2.Sabotage-When employees are in conflict or feel that they are being treated inequitably, they will refuse to support each other thereby completely destroying teamwork. 3. Absenteeism-The study found that 25% of employees said that avoiding conflict led to sickness or absence from work. Equally alarming, nearly 10% reported that workplace conflict led to project failure and more than one-third said that conflict resulted in someone leaving the company, either through firing or quitting. Those negatives translate into real financial losses, especially for small businesses like dental offices. 4.Turnover is a huge expense of unresolved conflict. "Chronic unresolved conflict acts as a decisive factor in at least 50% of departures Figures vary, but the turnover cost of one employee is reported to be anywhere from 30% to 150% of the employees annual salary.
  17. Unresolved conflict represents the largest reducible cost in many businesses, yet it remains largely unrecognized. Tension and stress diminish motivation and disrupt concentration. If you’re a ‘wait-and-see’ business owner or manager, take heed and adjust your belief about conflict because conflict is a costly expense that is not in your budget. And all of this is preventable
  18. So what is an business to do? When we are in conflict, we say things we do not mean and we mean things we do not say. Rarely do we communicate at a deep level to express truly what we are thinking and feeling. Conflict is a story. It’s a story you tell yourself about what happened, how it happened, and why it happened. It’s a story you tell others as a way to seek comfort or understanding. In most cases involving conflict, it’s a story you repeat. You think about it in the shower. You talk about it with a best friend. You ponder it on your lunchtime run. As you tell yourself this story over and over, themes emerge. Certain words, actions, or events stand out. These themes shape the conclusions you draw, what you do to soothe yourself, and what you do next in the situation or relationship. The more you tell yourself the story, or narrative, of the conflict, the more you believe it. It begins to feel right as a way to explain the events. Our conflict stories can get us into trouble because we treat them like it is the truth. Except it’s not.
  19. Avoidance promotes turnover and escalating conflict, which are expensive emotionally and financially. Realistically it is difficult, if not impossible, for people who are warring to come to peace without some outside influence or help. Early intervention is key. How you address conflict will either add to or take away from your bottom line. When conflicts are handled quickly, people feel better faster, and they interact in healthier ways
  20. A mediator just could be the solution to help the team get back on the track to productivity and focus on the job. A mediator provides a forum and an atmosphere for communication where parties gain understanding, become understood, and work together to explore options for resolution.
  21. What is mediation? Workplace mediation is a confidential process where an impartial and independent person assists two or more people resolve workplace issues or conflict. It provides a structured process designed to identify disputed issues, decide between options for resolution, and reach a mutually satisfying agreement.
  22. When I mediate a dispute in an office I model and teach appropriate listening techniques. Most people think of communication as talking; however, effective communication is really about listening. Many of the most important facets of your life are greatly influenced by your skills or lack of skills in listening. The quality of your friendships, the cohesiveness of your relationships, your effectiveness at work, these hinge, on your ability to listen. By listening, I identify the underlying interests in the dispute to reach resolution. And most importantly show how to communicate respectfully to inoculate against future disputes. The result is a healthy office environment where increased morale and productivity can flourish. Where your team can concentrate on their job at hand.
  23. In the mediation session, I Identify important Issues, Clarify misunderstandings, explore solutions, negotiate the settlement Mediation requires that each person take responsibility for their part in the conflict. The parties in dispute guide the outcome of the mediation process and its resolution. This leads to empowerment in the healing process. The emotional tension dramatically decreases quickly most times in the very first stage of mediation. That is its design and this early response breaks the tension allowing all involved to cool off and consider better ways to cure their problems.
  24. The Benefits of Mediation Mediation offers a rapid resolution- When parties want to get on with their business and their lives, mediation may be desirable as a means of producing rapid results. The majority of mediations are completed in one or two sessions. ▪Mediation is confidential- The mediator will not disclose any information revealed during the mediation. The sessions are not tape-recorded or transcribed. At the conclusion of the mediation, any notes taken during the mediation session are destroyed. ▪Mediation is private and voluntary ▪Preservation of relationships- Many disputes occur in the context of ongoing work relationships. Mediated settlements that address all parties’ interests often preserve working relationships in ways that would not be possible in a win/lose decision-making procedure. The team can remain in tact and go back to doing what they do best, their job.
  25. A foundation for future problem solving-After a mediation if a subsequent dispute occurs, parties are more likely to utilize a cooperative forum of problem solving to resolve their differences than to pursue an adversarial approach. 6 Mutually satisfying outcome- win /win solution- Parties are generally more satisfied with solutions that have been mutually agreed upon. If only a few members feel better in the process, you will have continued problems. Mediation soothes everyone’s ill feelings. Saves time,money and relationships-A mediated settlement that addresses all parties' interests will preserve a working relationship in ways that would not be possible in a win/lose decision-making process. Mediation can even make the termination of a relationship more amicable. High rate of compliance- Parties who have reached their own agreement in mediation are also generally more likely to follow through and comply with its terms than those whose resolution has been imposed by a third party decision-maker. Solutions Hold Up Over Time -Mediated settlements tend to provide a permanent cure, and if a later dispute results, the parties are more likely to utilize collaborative problem-solving to resolve their differences than to pursue an adversarial approach. The benefits of Mediation are numerous. It is by far the most advantageous way to reach a mutually satisfactory resolution to any conflict. Mediation is win/win. It’s win for you, win for the rest of the staff, win for your boss, win for your clients and win for business production.
  26. The mediation process occurs in four stages In Stage 1 Each person tells the story that reflects their point of view and reveals their underlying interests Stage 2 Develop the order of the issues and brainstorm Ideas Stage 3 Co Create a joint solution statement Stage 4 Final Bargaining for Settlement. In this stage the MOA is drawn up, reviewed and ultimately signed with the parties agreeing to the solutions to the dispute. By listening, I identify the underlying interests in the dispute to reach resolution. And most importantly show how to communicate respectfully to inoculate against future disputes. The result is a healthy office environment where increased morale and productivity can flourish. Where your team can concentrate on their job at hand.
  27. In the mediation session, I identify important Issues, clarify misunderstandings, explore solutions, and facilitate the process of negotiating the settlement. Mediation requires that each person take responsibility for his or her part in the conflict. The team members who are in dispute guide the outcome of the mediation process and its resolution. This leads to empowerment in the healing process. The emotional tension dramatically decreases quickly most times in the very first stage of mediation. That is its design and this early response breaks the tension allowing all involved to cool off and consider better ways to cure their problems.
  28. I hope that I have demonstrated in this brief time that unresolved conflict in your business is costing you money. Avoidance and hoping it all goes away in the long run is not an option for a thriving productive business. Mediation is a solution that resolves conflict quickly, preserves relationships and teaches listening skills, respect for differences and prevents conflict in the future. Think about this...How would it feel for you if were to go into work on Monday and found peace? Would you like to resolve conflict that’s over-shadowing your life? Would you like to reduce tension in an important business, professional, or personal relationship? Can you accomplish more, feel better, engage with your family more, and create a healthy balance in your life? Yes, you can. And I can help. Thank You
  29. Sharon Dolak Bio: Sharon Dolak RDH and Alternative Dispute Resolution Specialist graduated from Montgomery County College of Dental Hygiene in Pennsylvania in 1981. She currently lives in Keller, Texas with her three sons and has been practicing clinical dental hygiene for the last 12 years with Dr. Rebecca Lauck and Dr. Jay Corley at Blue Stone Dental. She is also certified in Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment, Strong Interest Inventory Assessment and is a life coach. In 2006 she received her certification in mediation from Texas Woman’s University and advanced her skills and certifications to include Mediation, Arbitration and Workplace Mediation, earning her the title of Alternative Dispute Resolution Specialist from Mediators Without Borders. In her mediation work Sharon specializes in reducing states of tension and getting long-term conflict resolved for people who want to be or must be in ongoing personal, professional, or business relationships. Her professional mission is to promote respectful and positive dialogue between parties in conflict.