Simon WIlby gives an easy to follow step by step guide into how to talk to anybody, anywhere easily.

3. Whatever
You
Call
it..
• Perhaps
you
call
it
“uncertainty”,
or
maybe
you
pass
the
moment
off
because
it
“just
doesn't
seem
right”.
However
you
jus?fy
it
though,
it
is
one
or
another
form
of
fear
that
is
presen?ng
itself
and
stopping
you.
• It
could
be
the
worry
about
what
other
people
might
think.
It
may
be
concern
about
looking
stupid
or
making
a
mistake.
Or
it
could
be
fear
of
rejec?on.
AEer
all,
you're
not
holding
back
because
you're
worried
people
will
accept
you
with
open
arms
are
you?

4. •
What
Exactly
Is
Fear?
Fear
is
your
emo?onal
response
to
a
situa?on
that
is
happening
or
that
you
imagine
might
happen.
It's
a
personal
response:
aEer
all,
if
two
people
are
in
the
exact
same
situa?on
only
one
may
experience
fear.
Fear
can
also
be
associated
with
the
prehistoric
part
of
your
brain,
such
that
when
it
takes
over,
your
fight
or
flight
response
is
triggered.
• Most
things
you
fear
in
everyday
life
are
not
really
life
threatening
at
all,
but
this
makes
liOle
difference
to
the
prehistoric
part
of
your
brain.
Whether
the
fear
is
triggered
when
you
are
asked
to
stand
up
and
do
a
presenta?on,
or
when
speaking
to
someone
you
don't
know,
or
doing
something
genuinely
dangerous,
it's
all
the
same
to
your
prehistoric
mind.

5. Let
go
of
your
fear
!
• A
really
good
exercise
you
can
do
right
now
is
to
score
the
level
of
fear
you
currently
experience
in
different
situa?ons.
•
Once
you've
established
a
baseline,
you
can
measure
your
progress
when
you
next
take
ac?on
regardless
of
the
fear
or
undertake
exercises
to
reduce
that
fear.

6. Mindset
–
The
Biggest
Barrier
• The
biggest
poten?al
barrier
to
successful
communica?on
is
you
and
your
mindset.
The
meaning
you
aOach
to
the
responses
you
get
will
have
a
huge
bearing
on
how
you
build
your
communica?on
skills.
• You
may
have
heard
it
said
that
it's
not
what
happens
to
you
in
life
–
it's
the
meaning
that
you
aOach
to
it.

7. The
curse
of
ge5ng
started..
• Hesita?on
kills
spontaneity
and
spontaneity
is
your
friend.
Your
inner
cri?c
will
try
and
stop
you,
but
when
you
see
an
opportunity
to
start
a
new
conversa?on
just
go
for
it.
Put
aside
the
urge
to
cri?que
your
opening
lines.
• Just
come
out
with
it,
straight
away,
within
the
first
few
seconds.
If
you
over-­‐think
it,
it
won't
seem
natural
to
you
or
the
person
you're
connec?ng
with.

8. • If
you're
in
a
restaurant
or
coffee
shop,
the
best
moment
to
connect
with
the
person
next
to
you
is
the
very
moment
you
sit
down.
Use
that
moment
to
start
your
conversa?on.
•
Moving
into
someone's
physical
space
creates
a
natural
window.
It
works
because
generally
you're
aware
when
people
move
into
and
out
of
your
space.
Think
about
the
last
?me
it
happened
to
you.
You
probably
briefly
disengaged
with
what
you
were
doing
to
review
your
surroundings.

9. Physical:
Ge5ng
Their
A=en>on
• In
any
situa?on,
once
you
have
the
idea
or
inclina?on
to
speak
to
someone
you
should
do
so
immediately
or
within
five
seconds.
Otherwise
doubts
and
inner
talk
can
start
to
put
you
off.

10. Types
of
Opening
Statements
• The
first
thing
that
is
said
in
any
communica?on
is
called
the
opening.
There
are
a
number
of
different
ways
to
open
a
conversa?on:
• →
Situa?onal
• →
Observa?onal
• →
Opinion/advice

11. Situa>onal
Opening
• A
situa?onal
opening
is
where
you
say
something
based
on
the
situa?on
that
you
and
the
other
person
are
both
in:
at
a
spor?ng
event;
at
a
business
seminar;
at
a
party.
You
open
with
something
that
relates
to
your
current
shared
experience.

12. Observa>onal
Opening
• An
observa?onal
opening
is
also
based
on
shared
experience
–
this
?me,
of
an
event
or
incident.
It
could
be
something
you
are
doing,
wearing
or
something
in
the
shared
environment.
• For
instance,
let's
say
you've
just
gone
into
a
shop
and
outside
there
was
an
argument
going
on
between
two
people.
An
observa?onal
statement
could
be
along
the
lines
of
“Did
you
see
those
two
out
there?
It
was
ge_ng
preOy
fran?c.”

13. Opinion
Opening..
• OEen
an
opinion
opening
is
best
started
by
saying
something
along
the
lines
of,
“Excuse
me,
could
I
get
a
quick
opinion
on
something,
please?”
• The
trick
here
is
to
flow
straight
into
the
opinion
you
are
looking
for
without
wai>ng
for
them
to
respond.

14. Meet
Them
Where
They
Are!
• This
means
you
meet
them
where
they
are
and
include
a
statement
about
what
they
are
currently
doing
in
your
opening
comment.
• On
a
subconscious
level
this
basically
makes
the
conversa?on
or
communica?on
more
relevant,
and
real,
because
the
other
person
agrees
exactly
with
what
you
said.

15. Finally..
• Make
it
Easier
for
People
to
Understand
What
You're
Saying
• A
LiOle
Recogni?on
and
Apprecia?on
Goes
a
Long
Way
• Are
You
Really
Listening?
The
person
you
are
talking
to
wants
to
know
that
you
are
really
listening
and
engaged
with
what
they
are
telling
you.

16. DON’T
WAIT..