BRIS Report 2007

THE T H E B R I S R E P O R T 2 0 0 7
REPORT 2007

The BRIS Report
2007

THE BRIS REPORT 20 07

BRIS
– Children’s Rights in Society – is an NGO, a volun
tary organisation with no party political or religious
affiliation, which supports children and young
people in distress and is a link between children, adults and the community.
The core of BRIS’ activities is comprised of the Children’s Helpline and the
BRISmail, to which children and young people up to the age of 18 can turn
anonymously and freeofcharge when they need support from an adult. BRIS
also works as an opinion maker and referral organisation to increase adults’
respect for children as individuals. BRIS works for the full application of the
principles established in the UN Convention of the Rights of the Child. BRIS
uses its collective knowledge of the situation of children and young people to
inform, influence, and create opinion in children’s rights issues at various levels.
BRIS also accepts calls from adults who need someone to talk to about their
own or other’s children.

BRIS was founded in 1971 and is organised as one national and five regional
associations. Offices are located in Malmö, Göteborg, Norrköping, Stockholm
and Umeå. BRIS’ activities are based on volunteer work and financial grants
and donations from both private and public donors. BRIS has a total of about
500 volunteer workers who man the Children’s Helpline and the BRISmail.
These volunteers are recruited, trained and supervised by employed BRIS
personnel. The BRIS Adult Helpline – about Children is usually manned by
employed BRIS representatives and costs as much as a regular phone call.

The Children’s Helpline: 0200230 230 In the Discussion Forum, which is also on
Monday – Friday: 3:00 pm – 9:00 pm BRIS.se, children and young people can
Saturday, Sunday and holidays: 3:00 pm communicate with each other under the
– 6:00 pm. oversight of an adult moderator.

BRIS Adult Helpline – about Children:
077150 50 50
Monday – Friday: 10:00 am – 1:00 pm
The BRISmail is available on BRIS.se and
provides a personal response within a few
days.

Publisher BRIS, Children’s Rights in Society Documentation/research: Sofia Grönkvist, Peter
Address BRIS-tidningen, Irgens, Iréne Johansson, Karin Johansson, Anna
Karlavägen 121, SE-115 26 Stockholm, Sweden Löfhede, Kerstin Sjöbratt, Rosie Skoog, Eva Waltré
Editor Martin Höög Photography BRIS, Lena Granfelt (cover), Ulf Huett,
Ad Helena Lunding Fredrik Nyman, Matton, Christian Örnberg
Text Gunnar Sandelin Responsible Editor Ingela Thalén, BRIS Association
English translation Semantix Chairperson

2


Contents
The BRIS report 4
BRIS’ supportive contacts during 2006 5
göran harnesk Adults must join the children’s journey 8

Victimised children 10

Mental illness 14

Children’s sorrow 19

Discussion Forum on BRIS.se 24
Time to listen and read 26
ingela thalén Safeguard rights,
Challenge power, Care for the soul 29

Appendix: Tables and Figures 32
Documentation of BRIS supportive contacts 33
Child contacts 34
Ten-year history of child contacts 34
Gender age 35
Living arrangements 35
Contact topics 36
Theme areas 37
Perpetrators, physical abuse 38
Perpetrators, sexual abuse 38
Calls from adults 39
Call topics 39
Callers 40
Living arrangements 40


The BRIS Report
The BRIS Report actually experiences are different for surroundings are not aware of
has an impossible mission different children, but common it. All too many children say
of reflecting last year’s more to many is the particular that they are given no space or
than 21,000 contacts with victimisation and conflict that understanding for their sorrow,
children in a limited number arise when the children are and instead become good at
of pages. In early 2007 when hurt in the adult relationships hiding it.
we go through all of the on which they are most One fundamental experience
documentation from calls dependent. repeats itself in all of the
and e-mails during 2006, The next theme is one, themes: children have an
a picture appears that is which we have had reason to enormous capacity – but we
anything but uniform. Here emphasise for many years: can never compromise with
there are many examples of Mental illness among the need for present, aware
children’s strength, courage children and young people. and supportive adults.
and ability to handle different The BRIS-mail in particular
situations, but also all too contains many children’s and The BRIS Report 2007 has
many descriptions of the young people’s descriptions grown forth from broad
severe victimisation children of depression, sadness and and intensive efforts, in
find themselves in when they anxiety – or symptoms in the which many in BRIS have
lack support and protection form of self-destructiveness, been involved. It is however
from the adult world. sleeping difficulties or eating ultimately based on thousands
In the comprehensive materi- disorders. These situations are of children and young people
al we have tried to find commo- complex, and we have tried trusting in us, and we want
nalities and connections – and to be particularly sensitive to accept this responsibility.
upon renewed reviews and to how children themselves The BRIS Report is not about
discussions we have seen three describe the background of all children. But it describes
important themes crystallize. their situation and what help a reality that in various ways
This year’s BRIS Report takes they themselves would like to affects all children – and
these as its starting point. have. thereby everyone else as well.
Under the heading Children’s sorrow is the
Victimised children we want third theme. In calls and Martin Höög,
to tell about the children who e-mails we see that children Director of Communications, BRIS
contact BRIS with experiences experience many kinds of loss Editor of the BRIS Report
of physical and sexual abuse and that sorrow also exists
and bullying. Of course these in children’s lives where the


More calls and e-mails – family conflicts
the most common

BRIS’ supportive
contacts during
2006
The Children’s Helpline decreased, but has now strongly increased
and the BRIS-mail compared to the previous year. In the area
During 2006 a total of 21,273 suppor of poor mental health, where we have seen
tive contacts were documented on the an alarming increase for several years, the
Children’s Helpline and the BRISmail. trend continued in the same way during
This is 11 percent more than the year be 2006 when we documented 20 percent
fore. Of these contacts 54 percent were more contacts than during 2005.
made by phone and 46 percent by email. In the latter case it is primarily contacts
For several years it has primarily been the concerning selfdestructive behaviour that
emails that have increased. This was also continue to grow. Problems of suicide as
the case in 2006 when emails increased well as expressions of anxiety and depres
by 14 percent and calls increased by 7.5 sion are also common. Almost one out
percent compared to the previous year. of four child contacts with BRIS during
The most common reason to contact 2006 dealt in some way with mental ill
BRIS was family conflict, which was in ness. It was also the most common reason
volved in one out of five contacts. Tangible for adults to call our adult helpline.
increases have primarily occurred in the Attempts to call the Children’s Help
areas concerning physical and sexual line have strongly increased during 2006.
abuse, where the number had previously Many calls receive a busy signal or are
FIGURE 1 made when the exchange is closed, and
Documented child contacts 1997-2006 of the roughly 76,000 calls that were an
Year swered during opening hours, the majo
1997 10 345 rity are of a nature such that the content is
12 788 not further documented. For many years
1998
14 341
we have noted that children and young
1999
people test contacting BRIS in different
2000 18 039
ways, including through calls that are
2001 19 358
sometimes completely silent or contain
2002 23 023
fast questions, jokes or provocative state
2003 22 044 ments. With many children, particularly
2004 22 133 the boys, we suspect a desire for contact de
2005 19 237 spite difficulty to express oneself, but here
2006 21 273 there are also children who are uncertain
0 5 000 10 000 15 000 20 000 25 000 Number of contacts of whether adults believe and take their
difficult stories seriously. We suspect that
The Children’s Helpline many children call and “test” several times
The BRIS-mail before their story is told in its entirety.


girls – nine out of ten were girls solely in
terms of the emails.
Just over half of the children live in a
nuclear family (56%), with a lone mother
(14%) and then, in descending order, with
both parents alternately, in a step family
and with a lone father.

Perpetrators
Within the theme Victimised Children
the children’s information about perpetra
tors in physical and sexual abuse and bul
lying is described. In almost three fourths
of the physical abuse cases the perpetrator
is a man, usually the child’s father. Sexual
abuse/molestation is committed by a man
in eight out of ten cases, and here too it is
most often the father. The most common
scene of the crime is the home. In cases of
bullying it is most common that groups of
both boys and girls harass or discriminate
one or more children. Otherwise bullies
are more often boys. In general terms, the
perpetrator profiles are confirmed on the
BRIS Adult Helpline – about Children.

Referrals and assignments
The 15 most common contact topics Three fourths of the child contacts resul
Topic % of all Child contacts* n = 21 273
ted in BRIS suggesting or agreeing with
Family conflicts 20% 4 328
the child to make further contact for sup
Relationships with friends 15% 3 276
port and help. In the calls there is the pos
Love relationships 14% 2 964
sibility to see together with the child what
Bullying 12% 2 549
people in his or her surrounding network
Loneliness 11% 2 304
can actively contribute to a change. Just
Self-destructiveness 10% 2 121
over one third were referred to an adult
Suicide/thoughts of suicide 8,7% 1 851 within the family. Otherwise referrals
Other mental illness 8,7% 1 847 were often made to a school counsellor/
Physical abuse 7,9% 1 672 school psychologist, a contemporary, the
Existential/life issues 7,5% 1 588 youth counselling centre or a school nurse.
Sexual abuse/molestation 7,1% 1 500 An assignment means that an employ
Sexuality 5,9% 1 248 Calls ed BRIS representative goes in and gives
Identity issues 5,8% 1 241 E-mail the contacting child more active help that
Sorrow 5,8% 1 233 can stretch from indepth support calls
Other school problems 5,2% 1 110 to contact with authorities. This is always
0 1 000 2 000 3 000 4 000 5000 done in agreement with the child, who
also remains anonymous as long as he or
she wishes. During 2006, 76 assignments
* Because every call/e-mail The call time for the documented calls were concluded, which is 28 more than
can deal with more than has been increasing for several years, and the previous year.
one topic and all of these
are documented, the total in 2006 was almost 17 minutes on ave
percentage exceeds 100%. rage. BRIS Adult Helpline – about Children
Calls to the BRIS Adult Helpline – about
Age, gender and Children also increased during the past
living arrangements year. 2,913 adult calls means a 13 percent
The average age of the children that con increase compared to 2005. The calls were
tacted BRIS in 2006 was just over 14, most often about the child’s mental health,
which is a small shift upwards compared which confirms the picture from the child
to the previous year. Eight out of ten were contacts. Problems concerning divorce


The 15 most common call topics in the Adult Helpline
% of all calls*
The child’s mental health 38%
Total Divorce-related 34%
Problems in the parental role 31%
Family conflicts 23%
Other problems related to the child 17%
Problems with authorities 14%
Physical abuse 11%
Neglect 11%
School problems (other than bullying) 8,2%
Physical/Mental illness in the family 8,2%
Legal guidance 7,8%
Sexual abuse/molestation 7,8%
Psychological abuse 7,7%
Alcohol/substance abuse 7,3%
Bullying 6,1%

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 %
n = 2,913

* Because every call can deal and the parental role are other common to Adult guarantee and
with more than one topic and all pics. The demands and responsibilities of child perspective
of these are documented, the
total percentage exceeds 100%.
parenthood are amplified and made more The BRIS Report forms the basis for prio
difficult through unresolved conflicts of ritisations made regarding BRIS’ activities
divorce and separation and the increasing in the coming year. The voices of children
psychological pressure on the children. and young people to BRIS during the past
This is combined with many feeling alone year consequently form a link to the work
in their parental role and lacking support in the now and for the future. The themes
and help from society. we have chosen to emphasize in this year’s
The caller to the Adult Helpline is a report will also permeate the outreach ser
mother in about half of the cases, and vices – and like last year the guidewords
thereafter a father (14%) or a grandparent are an adult guarantee and child perspec
(11%). In eight cases out of ten the caller tive. Taken together, the stories of children
is a woman. The children about whom the and young people in the support services
adults call are considerably younger than bear witness to a lack of present, aware and
in the child contacts, with an average age supportive adults in their lives.
of 11. The distribution is 55 percent girls We believe such adults are one of the
and 45 percent boys. Close to two thirds of most important salutogenic – health pro
the calls concern children whose parents moting – factors for children and young
are separated. The adult calls last just over people, and in 2007 BRIS will therefore
25 minutes on average. focus on adult’s attitudes towards and
treatment of children. ❚
BRIS.se
The website BRIS.se has had more than
930,000 visits during 2006, which is more
than double the number of the previous
year. As to those that require a login, al
most 11,500 active users have logged in Note!
more than 80,000 times, which is a 23 To shed some light on the topics we bring
up in the BRIS Report, we use examples and
percent increase compared to the previous quotes from the support services. These are
year. Almost 15,000 submissions have authentic, but certain information is always
been published on our Discussion Forum altered to guarantee that no individual
child can be identified.
during the year, which is a 60 percent in
crease compared to 2005.

7


Adults must join
the children’s
journey
In the platform BRIS has “Without exception one can say that

foto christian örnberg
defined for 2007, adult children’s stories to us adults are a rare
commodity in today’s society. Conversa
attitudes towards and
tions with adults, where the child can feel
treatment of children affirmation and respect for them as the
is placed in focus. The individuals that they are, are therefore so
focal areas treat the very important. For me, the adult guaran
tee and a child perspective are living words
victimisation of children in
of honour,” he says.
school, children’s sorrow All of the terms mentioned here in
and mental illness. Here the the preamble are at risk of becoming
Secretary General of BRIS, empty rhetoric if they are not filled with
living meaning. A child perspective, the
Göran Harnesk, provides
children’s best, an adult guarantee, vic
his view of the meaning of timised children are examples of small
these terms and how BRIS concepts that are mentioned constantly,
finds direction in the daily sometimes almost automatically. Göran
Harnesk feels that it could definitely turn Göran Harnesk, Secretary General of BRIS.
work.
out that way if the descriptions are used
because they look nice in handsome pro
grammes and documents. In order to more
Today many believe
easily bring these approaches to heart, he BRIS just talks with
thinks instead of what the consequences
mean to children and young people. And abused and bullied
it may be so that guidewords help when
young people show symptoms that are dif
children, but the idea
ficult to define, such as the meaning and is that we should also
consequences of the psychological abuse
and poor mental health. be able to extend the
“Poor mental health is a complex pro
blem and a term that is often used in many
perspective so that we
contexts. In the BRIS Report we clarify can also talk about
how it looks and why the preventative
work must be focused upon. It is difficult networks.
to measure, but necessary to stop crises
and catastrophes in the lives of children
and young people.”


Drastic increase panded collaboration with the world of
The tangible increase of contacts concer schools.
ning mental illness is the strongest sign “Bullying can look differently than what
of a change during the 2000s since the we have been used to so far, but this will
BRISmail was opened after the turn of not entail any fundamental change in our
the century. This year these contacts have basic efforts. We will however collaborate
increased by another 20 percent and now with student organisations and the Swe
one out of four supportive contacts with dish Teachers’ Union, among others, to
BRIS concern mental illness. Göran Har find ways together in the future,” Göran
nesk has himself answered supportive calls Harnesk says.
since he began at BRIS eight years ago. Is
there a feeling of helplessness at times? New ways of meeting children
“No, I just become more determined 2006 made it clear that BRIS must be on its
to take it seriously. One has to work even toes to be present in the constantly chan
harder and shed light on the issues, and ging arenas, which children and young
we play an important role there,” he says people frequent in the digital landscape. If
and goes on to speak of the psychologi one is to support the children, one must be
cal abuse that BRIS has placed under the there too, reasons the Secretary General of
magnifying glass this year: BRIS and mentions new forums to cover,
“This is also an area difficult to define, such as chat and text messages. It is exci
which must be taken care of before the ting to try to find new ways of supporting
problems become something that runs children, but at the same time BRIS must
so deep in the souls of children that it remain cool and quality assure the new,
becomes unmanageable. This includes upcoming emphases and grow with rea
daily conflicts such as guilt and shame son. 2007 will be an important year where
in divorce and separation where we must that mentioned in the BRIS Report will
continue to find ways so that children feel be followed up and delved into in the ba
that there are adults who accompany them sic work and in the new BRIS Magazine’s
on their journey. Again, the term adult next four issues.
guarantee is very important.” “Everything has gone so fast. When I
began, 90 percent of it was about normal
Victimisation of children telephony. Then came the explosion of
Another larger grasp that BRIS takes in mobiles and the Internet. I am fascinated
this annual report and in its work of the by the direction it has taken. Especially
coming year is the victimisation of child with regard to the emails, which have
ren. This description includes physical illustrated a great loneliness and sorrow
and mental abuse, but also an expanded that I did not believe existed. They sit in
definition of bullying in the form of ha their solitude and write, and it makes a big
rassment and discrimination. Is there any difference in the contact compared to the
risk that this concept be given an all too dialogue that we previously had with only
broad meaning? children’s voices on the phone,” Göran
“We need to make sure that the descrip Harnesk concludes. ❚
tion covers all children who really are vic
timised. Today many believe BRIS just
talks with abused and bullied children,
but the idea is that we should also be able
to extend the perspective so that we can
also talk about networks. This helps us to
see the child’s entire environment and it
is important that children receive support
regardless of how their surroundings look,”
Göran Harnesk responds.
Bullying is a classical problem area
that through the years has almost always
topped the lists at BRIS. The expanded
concept of bullying is consistent with the
legislation that was recently modified. On
the part of BRIS this also means an ex


Victimised
THEME 1

children
In 1971 BRIS began with the objective of
protecting children from adult violence,
and contributed to Sweden adopting the
world’s first anti-corporal punishment
law eight years later. In this year’s BRIS
Report we emphasize the particularly
difficult situation children end up in when
they are victims of physical and sexual
abuse and harassment by adults on whom
they are simultaneously dependent.
The heading Victimised children
covers the contact topics physical and
psychological abuse, sexual abuse and
bullying. During 2006, 5,552 or 26
percent of the child contacts dealt with
one or more of these four topics.

The girl has been hit in the face by her father. She col-
lects her little sister at day-care and cooks food for her.
Has a test in school the day after and now cannot go
because of the bruises. She has been beaten by both
mum and dad several times before.
Call with a -year-old girl

0


Physical and
sexual abuse
– the greatest violation takes place in the family
in calls and e-mails that concern the victimisation In physical abuse, the violence is perpetrated in the
of children, BRIS meets lonely children in lack of home in 84 percent of the cases. In sexual abuse, the
supportive adult relationships. Children in distress figure for the home environment is 60 percent.
stand in a difficult position of dependency on an adult
The boy is beaten at home by his father. Feels
world that has failed them. When the most common humiliated and sad. Big sister is also beaten. Their
site of physical and sexual abuse is the home, the child parents are divorced, addicts. The boy hopes, but
becomes dependent on adults who should protect and doesn’t believe that mum can do something about
it. There is contact with social services, but the boy
support them, but instead constitute a hazard. doesn’t trust them, they don’t listen according to
“The greatest violation is when the abuse occurs him. Call with a 2-year-old boy
within the family. It is a double betrayal: the person
who should protect the child and constitute security From the children’s stories, BRIS has charted perpe
takes advantage this dependency for abuse. The other trators for a decade and the picture remains tangibly
parent’s betrayal when he or she lets this happen similar from year to year. Men dominate when it
is just as difficult for the child to understand,” comes to physical abuse and are represented to an
says Rosie Skoog, Regional Manager of BRIS even higher degree when it comes to sexual abuse. A
Central Region in Stockholm, about the con certain increase of physical violence from fathers and
tacts regarding physical and sexual abuse. boyfriends could be noted together with a decrease
When harassment and discrimination exist of other contemporary perpetrators compared to last
in the world of school, the victimised child is year’s data. The most common perpetrators are: bio
also extremely dependent on the adults on site logical fathers in 44 percent of the cases, mothers in
Rosie Skoog, accepting their responsibility and doing what 14 percent and boy/girlfriends in 11 percent.
Regional Manager, they can to combat the bullying. In sexual abuse, biological fathers (29%) or mo
BRIS Central Region
thers (12%) are the most common perpetrators. The
Increase of physical and sexual abuse percentage of contemporary perpetrators has de
In 2006 BRIS experienced a tangible increase within creased compared to last year, but in spite of this
the topics of physical and sexual abuse. During the comprises 22 percent. Seen over a longer time frame,
year BRIS had almost 3,200 child contacts that con the proportion of teachers/school personnel has also
cerned physical, psychological or sexual abuse, which decreased.
means an increase of 40 percent compared to the pre Both in physical abuse and sexual abuse/molesta
vious year. tion there are cases with more than one perpetrator,
It is important to point out that large changes from where for instance a man and a woman together vic
year to year have been seen earlier, but that the con timise the child.
tacts about physical and sexual abuse still have not Sexual abuse is often aggravated, but can also in
increased seen over a longer time frame. On the other clude molestation through groping and sometimes
hand, information throughout all years indicates that verbal attacks. In some cases the violence has resulted
the most common crime scene is the home and the in pregnancy with a father. The children, who tell of
perpetrator is a parent. This picture was reinforced having tried to get support from their surroundings,
during 2006. many times express a sense of being lost among the
When it comes to physical and sexual abuse and support organisations of society.
bullying, contacts over the phone are almost twice
The girl has been sexually abused since primary
as common as those via email. These topics also oc school by her dad when her mum works nights. The
cur comparatively more often in contacts about boys girl has tried to commit suicide several times, been
than those about girls. admitted to hospital multiple times without saying
why. Call with a 14-year-old girl


Her stepfather and his friend sexually abuse the girl special review conducted for this year’s BRIS Report
when her mum is at work, films and sells the films on
indicates that psychological abuse is more common
the Net. The girl doesn’t know where to turn and
doesn’t dare tell for fear of not being believed. than indicated by the documentation. In this calcula
Call with a -year-old girl tion we have still not included all contacts that deal
with victimisation to bullying, physical and sexual
Some girls who contact BRIS are unsure of where abuse, which can almost always be said to contain
the boundary goes for what can be considered sexual psychological abuse of varying degrees.
abuse and molestation. Girls who in their teenage
years test their way forward in sexual relations can The girl talks about insults in the foster home, in
which she lives after her mum’s death. Has very little
ask BRIS if what they have experienced at a party contact with her dad. Has lived with insults for many
can be called rape. Many describe situations where years. The other children in the home are better off,
it has been difficult to resist or where they have been but the girl has to take a lot. “It would be just as well
uncertain about what is to be expected or what they if she didn’t exist, if she were dead etc.” The girl just
have to agree to. Young girls also say that they are takes it and complies so it won’t get worse. Won-
ders if an adult is allowed to say the things she has
enticed into exploitation in new arenas tied to digital to put up with. Call with a -year-old girl
technology. An open question is how much the sexu
alised media offering combined with absent adults in In its report (SOU 2001:72) the Commission on
fluences teenagers – with great needs of affirmation Child Abuse defines psychological abuse of children.
– to destructive boundarybreaking. In brief it means a systematic degradation that conti-
nues over an extended period of time. According to this
“I started chatting with a guy on MSN, but then it definition and upon renewed review of BRIS’ con
turned out he was 29 years old!”
tacts, we can see that psychological abuse is up to
“I’ve posed in underwear in a web camera for a guy three times as common as the 3.1 percent we have
and regret it a lot. I don’t dare tell mum about it.” documented to date.
E-mails from -year-old girls From the children’s information we can also see
that psychological abuse in 80 percent of the cases
“I regret taking off my clothes on the web cam, but
occurs in the home and that it is primarily the parents
it still felt good that someone thought I was pretty
and wanted to see me.” who victimise the child.
E-mail from a -year-old girl
Connection to mental illness
With regard to physical and sexual abuse, the da Within the topic of family conflicts, there are many
maged trust in the surrounding adults shows itself hidden stories of a mental and emotional terror that
when children and young people try to seek help. A the children cannot fend off. It is daily harassment
report often results in a withdrawal due to fear of what and degradation from family members, where harsh
could happen with the family. Moreover, it is com words and negative criticism deeply wound selfes
mon that the child protects the perpetrator from his teem. Many children never hear that they are loved,
or her position of dependence. but rather are an unwelcome nuisance to their parents.
“The smallest doubt or signals that it will not hold Others tell of adults who are constantly morose, tired
the entire way can get the child to backout entirely. and lack patience. These adults generally seem to have
Not daring to tell because of feelings of shame and great needs and problems of their own, and do not
guilt, fear of not being believed or that the family have the energy to be parents. Instead they take their
will be split, are fully adequate reasons for a child to aggression out on the children.
keep quiet.” “Children who are exposed to psychological abuse
“Instead, poor selfesteem and selfloathing can lead can be afflicted by various forms of mental illness.
to different selfdestructive behaviours like selfmuti When statements of love and positive affirmation are
lation, depression, suicide attempts, eating disorders, missing, their selfimage is hurt and they describe sor
problems of addiction etc.” says Rosie Skoog, whose row, emptiness and poor selfesteem. But the child
experience is that many children express the desire to ren themselves never use the term psychological abuse
leave the home to live in a foster home instead. and are uncertain of whether what they are exposed
to is allowed or not,” says Karin Johansson, BRIS re
Psychological abuse presentative in BRIS West in Göteborg.
“My parents often shout at me. I don’t have to have
done anything wrong. My dad says that I am a “I feel awful and am hardly ever happy. When I
shame to the family…he calls me different things was younger my parents hit me but now they’ve
that make me feel bad. My mum has started to stopped but they keep insulting me and say loads
lock me in my room like she did when I was little.” of mean things… If I don’t get the highest marks in
E-mail from a -year-old girl all subjects I’m stupid… It feels as if I’m not allowed
to exist but I don’t know why.”
E-mail from a 7-year-old boy
Psychological abuse is an area difficult to measure
in which the child’s bruises sit on his or her soul. A
2


“Nor do they know where to turn to get help and how to longterm consequences of the bullying.
be able to express their experiences. In most cases, the
“I have a lot of problems at home in school...I get
psychological abuse is invisible to their surroundings, like bullied, hit threatened...I hardly dare to go
but the children bear the consequences of it, sometimes home from school any more... I’m worried all the
in the form of psychiatric symptoms like depression, time can’t concentrate in school…”
anxiety and obsessivecompulsive syndrome. This is E-mail from a 2-year-old boy
a topic that hardly receives any attention in society at
all. It happens seldom or never that children receive Responsibility of the school
legal redress after longterm and serious psychological One consequence of the bullying is that school results
abuse, even though it is a crime under the intent of the are negatively impacted. Otherwise the picture has
law,” Karin Johansson confirms. been similar for many years: children and young
people have told BRIS that they have sought help
Discrimination and degrading treatment in vain among teachers or other school personnel
Discrimination and degrading treatment is a new without result. Often they have instead heard that
term for the year, which is adapted to our new they are themselves to blame. It is clear that many
legislation, which expands the definition of bullying school managers still lack the tools for and training
and reinforces the responsibility of head masters, in active preventative work and how to handle daily
teachers and the staff of schools to stop all degrading bullying. We also know that there are many teachers
treatment in the school. who believe that it is not a part of their job descrip
Bullying is a central area, which has long been at tion to handle relationships between students. But
the top of BRIS’ statistics. During last year more than there are also examples of the opposite, where the
2,500 or 12 percent of the child contacts were about difference teachers who are interested, listen and act
bullying. can make to a single child is larger than one might
The afflicted children – and sometimes even bullies ever understand oneself.
who want help – make contact primarily by phone. “Bullying arises easily in groups where there is
Victimisation due to bullying is also the most common fear, insecurity or ambiguity regarding rules and
Karin Johansson, topic for boys to contact BRIS about. It is primarily procedures – and that also applies to groups of adults.
BRIS representative, children of younger ages up to and including middle Today many children come to school with stress, worry
BRIS West
school age who call or email about bullying. and demands, and it is a major challenge for teachers
The picture of who bullies has remained similar to create a safe environment in such large groups
for several years. Almost all bullying, 87 percent, is like that of a school class. BRIS has long demanded
done by a group of bullies. Most common are mixed increased training for teachers in group processes,
gender groups, but at the same time boys are more leadership and conflict management,” says Martin
often bullies than girls. During 2006 there was ho Höög, Director of Communications at BRIS.
wever some increase in bullying girls.
IT bullying
“I feel so bullied in every way that I am afraid of In the last few years bullying with new media has
starting in 6th grade because I’m afraid that eve-
Martin Höög,
ryone will keep bullying me. I’ve done everything entered into the picture with harassment in front of
Director of Com- a mass audience on the Internet or by email, text
they say you should do but nothing helps I just want
munications, BRIS
to kill myself.” E-mail from a 2-year-old girl messages, etc. In its last annual report BRIS warned
of bullying, exploitive and destructive contacts over
Victimisation due to bullying has been one of the the Internet. A person victimised by the spreading of
most common reasons for children and young people rumours and persecution in the public space has little
to contact BRIS over the years. Bullying statistics possibility of redress and instead risks having his or
rose particularly during the latter part of the 1990s, her private life put on display for public scrutiny and
which BRIS then called to attention in the societal one’s own powerlessness.
debate. The influx of bullying contacts has been “The actual limitlessness is itself frightening to
relatively constant over time, which means that focus children. A film, image or comment that has been
on bullying has decreased somewhat the last few put on the Net can never be taken back, and the
years. Instead observation has largely been aimed at combination with harassment occurring anonymously
the dramatic increase in mental illness. makes it impossible to manage its scope,” Martin
Bullying is however one of the most weighty Höög confirms.
topics with timeless problems where the stories of “The communication channels exist today and it is
victimisation are similar from year to year. They now important that adults get interested and not leave
cover everything from being frozen out, rumours the children alone here. We cannot expect children
being spread and verbal discrimination to physical to understand and be able without help to handle the
abuse. The children that contact BRIS tell of the effects that can arise with tools as powerful as the
exclusion, the pain and the weak will to live as the Internet,” Martin Höög says. ❚


Mental
THEME 2

illness
The most notable trend in BRIS’ contacts
during the 2000s is the massive rise
in children and young people making
contact, mainly by e-mail, about
various problems that are related to
mental illness. This development is also
confirmed on the BRIS Adult Helpline
– about Children. Mental illness in BRIS’
statistics includes self-destructiveness,
problems of suicide, eating disorders and
other mental illness. The latter means
depression, phobias and panic anxiety,
for example.

“There are a lot of young people
that are doing poorly, but don’t
dare seek help or don’t want to or
because it’s too far away, get more
places and offices for counsellors or
something! Because it’s NEEEDED!”
Submission to BRIS’ Discussion Forum


Children and young people who are doing poorly

It is not the reaction, rather
the situation is abnormal
During 2006 BRIS had 4,871 supportive child to seeking support from each other, which does not
contacts that concerned mental illness, which is always suffice.
an increase of 20 percent compared to the previous “The scale of poor mental health stretches over
year. Consequently in 2006 almost one out of four many symptoms, everything from scratching one
contacts concerned mental illness. Usually they self superficially once to pure suicide attempts near
concern 1417 year olds and the topic is more than death. Here there is a wide spectrum where many
twice as common in contacts about girls compared test their limits and describe how difficult it is to
to boys. The topic is also almost twice as common quit cutting themselves once they’ve begun. It be
in emails compared to phone calls. comes an addiction,” Eva Waltré says.
“We also see different signs of depression such
More darkness than light as sleeping disorders, internal feelings of blackness
The increase in contacts about suicide/suicidal and emptiness, and a loss of the zest for life.”
thoughts and selfdestructive behaviour among
teenage girls is something in particular that BRIS Underlying causes
has been warning about since 2002 and, at the In order to develop mental illness, a combination
government level, demanded preventative measures of underlying factors is most often required. This
against. Girls who cut themselves and young people can be being exposed to unmanageable difficulties
who express that they do not want to live continue combined with living under longterm stress. In
to contact BRIS in a constantly increasing flow. addition to this, if adults on which one is depen
This agrees well with the reports that regularly come dent are not present and aware or are unreliable, the
from both authorities and volunteer organisations feeling of powerlessness is amplified. On the BRIS
about increasing mental illness among children and Adult Helpline both parents and other adults in the
young people. child’s surroundings tell in parallel about loneliness
“The contacts during the year regarding mental and being at a loss in the parental role.
illness bear witness to both severe and less severe Most of the children who make contact also pro
problems. In brief, one can say that the content of vide a background to the symptom’s origin. It is
their stories clearly shows a feeling of loneliness and about living with victimisation, lacking possibilities
of not really being good enough as they are. It is to influence one’s situation, having a dysfunctional
about not fitting in and not having the strength to family or living arrangement, or extreme require
handle different kinds of pressure in school, ideals ments to live up to in both school and leisure time.
of beauty, difficult family conditions and some per
sonally traumatic events,” summarises Eva Waltré, “The girl has been doing poorly psycho-
logically for a long time. Her mum wants
BRIS Support Services Coordinator.
to get help from child psychiatry services,
Through all of the stories BRIS learns that for but her dad is against it. Her mum is in
most teenagers life swings between light and dark despair. Can her dad not allow this?”
ness. The contacts that concern mental illness, how Neighbour calling about a -year-old girl
ever, most often convey a compact and constant
blackness, and in that situation daytoday set Some speak well of family and friends, but describe
backs can easily be experienced as catastrophic to an emptiness where one’s own life feels like a façade.
selfesteem. We see that the consequences of poor It is common to the contacts about selfdestructive
mental health become more drastic than they need ness/suicide that the children/young people convey
be, because these children and young people often anger and despair directed at both themselves and
lack support from adults. Instead they are relegated the adult world. At the same time there is a longing


When it comes to living arrangements, among
the contacts about mental illness there is a clear over
representation of social placements in foster homes
or at treatment centres as well as young people li
ving on their own. In the contacts about mental
illness there are also experiences of not being able to
influence their living arrangement, this particularly
applies to children with divorced parents.

Has been thrown out of the foster home
that she lived in since she was eight years
old. Social services have placed her at
a treatment centre among all of the
“junkies”. She feels like she’s just getting
worse and worse. She cannot live with her
parents. The girl wants to live somewhere
other than at a treatment centre. She feels
like the social services cannot help her.

“Since I was 9 years old I’ve lived at a
foster home, but now I have to move
because we always fight, and the mother
can’t handle me. I really want to stay, I’ve
thought about suicide!”

The combined impression from both the children’s
and the adults’ stories is that the children that con
tact BRIS about mental illness actually show ade
quate reactions to a situation that has been all too
trying in the home, at school and/or in the circle
of friends for a long time. It can be about anything
for help, where the BRISmail constitutes an easily from victimisation due to physical and sexual abuse
available contact for many. to divided families where parents and new partners
do not understand or accept the child’s needs. There
… I have loads of suicidal thoughts in my are often combinations of circumstances behind
head…that I can’t ever shake…have tried the child’s mental illness such as constant family
to kill myself twice…feeling crap…My
parents beat me. Have started to cut my conflicts, alcohol or substance abuse in the home or
wrists.” divorced parents who use the child as a bat.
E-mail from a -year-old boy “We receive serious signals
from the children, where their
“I walk around and have suicidal thoughts symptoms show that they
all the time…every night I cry and I want a
better life! Damned alcoholic mum!!” live under major strain. It is
E-mail from a -year-old girl a warning signal that rings
where certain children need
“There’s something inside me, empty supportive adult help while
where you’re supposed to feel love from others must receive profes
other people, sometimes it feels like I can’t
feel emotions, cut/hurt myself a while to Eva Waltré, BRIS sional treatment to be able to
Support Services feel good again,” Eva Waltré
feel anything at all.”
Coordinator
E-mail from a -year-old girl emphasizes.

In the more serious cases where children contact Role of the school
BRIS about various expressions of mental illness Mental illness entails an increased vulnerability
we do not seldom see a background of victimisa that also affects the ability to function in school.
tion due to sexual abuse from a young age, physical The school is consequently at risk of also becoming
and/or psychological abuse or severe bullying over an arena that contributes to a destructive spiral in
a long period. It is important not to generalise, but these children’s development.
the young people often describe a life situation that Because children and young people spend a large
has grown out of poorly functioning family rela part of their weekday in school, in addition to sub
tionships. ject knowledge they also receive important expe


rience and insight about relationships and identity. pearance fixation and ideals of beauty,” Eva Waltré
The selfesteem that they develop is a natural result says and adds that the poor selfesteem can be made
of their own success and how this is handled in the worse by not being able to live up to the ideal. But
school environment influences the child’s mental selfstarvation can also, like selfmutilation, be a
health to a high degree. way of seeking anxiety relief.
“My strength is gone, I can’t handle life;
Hard to get help
the food, school and training. There is a
lot in school, fail over and over again on Children and young people regularly tell BRIS
the tests. Everything is hard, everything about help that is insufficient or almost nonexis
is about food, looks, weight, attention… I tent. They themselves sometimes also feel a great
can’t get out of this.” deal of resistance to seeking help or they simply just
do not know where to turn.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle these This picture is reinforced in BRIS’ Discussion
last few weeks before the summer holiday. Forum where children and young people tell each
There’s not long left, but it feels a long other how minimal the help has often been when
way off because we have an outrageous they have turned to teachers, social services or child
amount to do in the near future at school!”
psychiatry services for instance. Many express mis
E-mail from a -year-old boy
trust against adults’ ability to be of any help and
“Major demands are placed on young people to be concern for what will happen if the social apparatus
able to foresee, plan and make choices in daily life. is involved with authority contacts and investiga
We in BRIS can both read emails and notice in tions.
calls with children and young
people that performance and The social worker doesn’t listen to her
and how she wants to solve her problems.
high demands in school can
Feels blamed with lies from the social
be one of the factors that lead worker.
to mental illness,” says Iréne Call with an -year-old girl
Johansson, BRIS representa
tive in Region East. She emp He and his siblings live with their mum
at an emergency home, and soon all of
hasizes that in the final report
them will be placed in different homes.
Iréne Johansson, from the Government Com He would like to have some calm and go
BRIS representative, mission on the poor mental
to school. Feels a great deal of stress and
BRIS East
health of young people (SOU worry about moving to a foster home.
2006:77) it appears that many young people feel Call with an -year-old boy
that the subject and marking systems are causes of
stress, but that a good, close relationship between “It is often difficult to find adults that can help. The
teachers and students can be decisive to positive channels that exist often do not function. There are
development. long waiting times to child psychiatry services, one
must have the permission of both parents, and the
Media and advertising school nurse or school counsellor has no time. So
for children who cannot turn to mum and dad it’s
“I think that all clothes dummies in Sweden not always easy to go further,” Eva Waltré says.
should be made a normal weight be-
cause not everyone is actually so thin.” The girl had finally dared to talk with her
Submission to BRIS’ Discussion Forum teacher about everything that is tough.
It had gone really well and she had also
Feels bad about everyone around her been promised counselling help. She
seeming so perfect, thinks it is particu- thinks it feels better now…
larly tough with appearance fixations in Call with a -year-old girl ❚
newspapers.

Demands of a perfect body and looks that are con
veyed in different ways through media and adverti
sing are recurring factors that young people them
selves bring up as causes of stress and selfdoubt.
This reinforces a fundamental selfimage of not
being good enough as they are.
“The contacts that we have about eating disorders
are connected to depression to varying degrees. All
such symptoms can therefore not be linked to ap

7


Boys’ e-mails about suicide
BriS’ experience iS that mental illness expresses it of the emails came from contemporaries who were
self differently among boys and girls, with primarily worried about a friend’s problems of suicide.
selfinflicted violence and eating disorders among “These contemporaries were so burdened that
girls. Boys react more violently with destructive they themselves felt bad and ended up in conflict
outward behaviour and more accomplished suicides. with their parents who often felt that they shouldn’t
Pia Faller,
The girls’ major advantage generally lies in their spend time with their depressed friend. These child
psychologist more developed ability and habit when it comes to ren assume an overwhelming responsibility. To
putting words to their difficult emotions. Nine out forbid them from seeing their destructive friend is
of ten children/young people who contact BRIS a completely understandable reaction by the custo
about their poor mental health are girls, but almost dian, but creates more problems,” Pia Faller says.
half of the adults that call are concerned about a
boy’s mental health. Dare to talk about the problems
“If I had to guess I would believe that mental ill The boys who emailed BRIS about thoughts of sui
ness among boys is as widespread as among the girls, cide conveyed a fundamental feeling of not being
but it is difficult to change the fact that boys do not seen and recognised as individuals. When they do
talk about their feelings. I believe that we must gene not feel like they are heard after a suicide attempt,
rally try to find other forms to reach the boys – such their low selfesteem is further weakened. Pia Fal
as talking with them when we do things together ler therefore feels that it is important that the adult
– and being more attentive to when they are not fee world together with the boys dare to openly talk
ling well,” says psychologist Pia Faller, who in 2006 about suicide and not silence and stigmatise it as
wrote a Dlevel essay at Umeå University about boys’ today.
stories about suicide to BRIS. She also mentions that, besides bullying and a
In her study of just over 100 boys’ emails, Pia lack of guidance and support, it is important to keep
Faller found that bullying was the greatest single in mind that young people’s thinking process (cog
background factor, but that poor selfesteem, de nition) is still under development.
jection, and depression symptoms, and/or parents “Many have not yet achieved the ability to ab
with alcohol/substance abuse problems were also stractly conceive of a life different from the one they
commonly a part of the picture. Although the boys know. If you don’t become a football pro or doctor,
had previously asked for help, they had not received there are no alternative lives worth living. BRIS’
any mentionable response from adults in their sur work with listening and confirming their stories is
roundings; when support was missing a salutogenic factor that helps them find their own
in the home, other representative adults alternative solutions,” says Pia Faller. ❚
were seldom on hand. The lack of adults
is serious particularly when one knows
that a suicide attempt is statistically
often followed by further attempts. (Pia Faller’s essay “Young boys
The boys however found support in talk about suicide” is available for
download from www.psy.umu.se)
their own age group. Almost one fifth

Children’s
THEME 3

sorrow
Of BRIS’ contacts with children
and young people only a small
segment expressly deals with
sorrow. In these cases it is often
about the death of someone close,
and can concern parents, siblings,
other relatives, friends or pets. We
see however that sorrow exists as
an underlying emotion in many
more contexts than one first
imagines, where a very large part
of our contacts are characterised
by abandonment, regret, loss and
exclusion.

His mum had quickly fell ill and died a year ago. Feels difficult to
talk with dad, doesn’t want to make him sad. The boy has started
upper secondary school and thinks a lot is new and pretty tough to
manage, and does not get the same support as at his old school.
Would like to talk to someone, but doesn’t know where to turn.
Call with a -year-old boy

“Sorrow might not be something people can write to you about,
for me it’s all I think about and feel right now. Mum and dad have
decided to separate and have their own flats… …I feel really bad,
have ulcers… can’t sleep at night… …I feel so bad and always
have a headache….”
E-mail from a 7-year-old girl


“Adults want it to pass
quickly…”
during the year BRIS has had 1,233 contacts that Sorrow after separations
more directly dealt with sorrow, and these are dis A topic that is particularly noted is children’s expres
tributed relatively evenly between calls and emails. sion of sorrow in connection with the separation of
During 2006 BRIS has also received more indepth parents as well as breaks in friendship or changing
experiences of children’s sorrow when we concluded schools.
the work in the spring with support groups for Separations between adults always involve chan
children who had been affected by the tsunami ges for children. The child has few opportunities
catastrophe in Asia. of influencing this, and has a hard time imagining
Children’s and young people’s sorrow can, in how life will be later. Combined with a desire for
addition to death, concern everything from friends “it to be like normal”, all of this becomes a breeding
and crushes who do not care, to sorrow about their ground for deep sorrow among children, a sorrow
“impossible” appearance, a dead house pet or parents that the adults cannot always see when they are in
who abandon the child both psychologically and the middle of their own process.
physically. The sorrow can also be a reaction to
change or something that does not exist, or did not “I’m so sad about my parents being
divorced. Want to be with both at the
turn out as planned. It shows itself as a part of the
same time. I don’t know what I should
children’s lives with regard to expressions of regret, do!” E-mail from a 2-year-old boy
loneliness and sadness.

“School is no problem… But I miss my “Hi BRIS! My parents separated when
friends, my old school and my boy- I was little. Now it feels like everything
friend. I cry almost every night and always goes wrong at home and
can never sleep … I feel like I’m getting I don’t get on well. Mum cries and says
more and more tired. Soon I won’t be that she misses my sister and me. Mum
able to cope with it. My parents know and dad live pretty close to each
that I miss my friends, but I never say other and we go between them, sleep
that I want to move back. It would be one night here, on night there. Mum
way to complicated to move again…” wants to see us like a lot. Mum wants to
E-mail from a -year-old girl talk to dad but then when she does it
pretty much goes wrong anyway. Dad
just gets annoyed and mum gets tired
There is also an existential level in which the sor and upset. I hate having it like this! If
we’re with mum we have to listen to
row is included as an important component when
crap about dad and if we’re with dad
it comes to seeking answers to questions about the we have to listen to crap about mum.
meaning of life, getting a grip on one’s search for My sister is usually on mum’s side but I
identity or one’s feeling of being an outsider. Among don’t want to choose. I like my parents
the group of young people that contact BRIS there equally much, but because my sister
defends mum it’s like I’m defending
is often an experience of sorrow that has to do with
dad. I actually don’t have a real ques-
a transition from childhood to increased indepen tion…” E-mail from a -year-old girl
dence and greater responsibility.

“I am really scared of what will happen “When parents choose to go separate ways the child
in the future… Sometimes I think of ren most often have a desire that the adults will stay
mum’s and dad’s childhood, if they
miss it as much as I miss mine.” together. For the child the separation between the
E-mail from a -year-old girl parents can mean changing homes, schools and

20


foto fredrik nyman
friends. There are se
veral different losses
to handle at the same
time and the sorrow
after these needs space.
We adults have to ma
nage both our own and
the child’s sorrow, and
Kerstin Sjöbratt, also be able to manage
Regional Manager, them being different,”
BRIS West
says Kerstin Sjöbratt,
Regional Manager at BRIS West in Göte
borg.
On the BRIS Adult Helpline – about
Children parents express their concern for
how their children are feeling in connection
with the parents’ divorce. They tell of strong
emotional reactions of the children as well
as sleeping difficulties and other physical
reactions.

The girl is often worried and has
headaches. She has said that she is
afraid that her dad doesn’t like her.
The child lives with both her mum
and dad alternately.
Call with mother of a 9-year-old girl
The mother is worried about her
son. He is sad and doesn’t dare fall
asleep at night. The parents have
just been through a separation
that’s taken a long time.
Call with mother of a -year-old
boy

Sorrow is natural
It is important to realise that feelings of sor
row are a natural part of life and a normal and
meaningful part of children’s development.
Children’s sorrow must therefore also be met
naturally and not be problemised unnecessa
rily. Sorrow should not primarily be viewed
as a problem area, but rather as something
every child, young person and adult must
relate to. As previously mentioned, young
people often contact BRIS with an expe
rience of sorrow that is a part of the gradual
separation from their childhood and parents,
which the teenage years entail. This sorrow
can be expressed in many ways and needs to
be affirmed and received by adults.
When children in sorrow have contact
with an adult who listens, the way is cleared
for a sound and healing process. A child,
whose sorrow is neglected or made light of,
is at risk of dealing with these deep and often
difficult to understand feelings on their own
in a way that can be destructive for the future
development of his or her personality.

2

BRIS Report 2007

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