The Russo Legacy: Chapter One

Hello everyone! Welcome back to the Russo Legacy. If you haven’t read the introduction because you think that you didn’t need to, I suggest you get over yourself and read it. Because you won’t understand some things. Joe here just changed his hairstyle….It’s pretty much the same but not all Maxis-y.

“Joe, are you sure you want to be part of this legacy with me? I mean…you’re a fortune sim. You constantly want money.” “And romance sims constantly want Woohoo. But some of the best romance sims had a great family, didn’t they?” “Like who?” “Bella Goth.” “She was abducted, though…” “That’s just a myth, doll face.”

(Later on, considering Iris changed her clothes..) “Hello?” “…who is this?!” “Excuse me, you called my home.” “May I speak to Iris?” “Is this Ben?” *click*

(More clothes switching…) “I’m off to save some lives, Joe. I won’t be back until late…or should I say early?” “Wait…Iris, can you tell Ben to stop calling here?” “Ben’s still my friend, Joe.” “Iris, I don’t like—” “Look, can we talk about this later? I’m gonna be late!” “Fine…”

You’re ditching the slob pajamas, are you? “It’s our first night together and he’s asleep…” Well, you did have to work late…I can’t blame him for being tired. “Ugh. Maybe tomorrow?” Yeah..you guys can make some purple hearts then. “…You’re not going to take pictures of—” NO. Never. Ever. Gahh.

Joe Carr cleaning? Never thought I’d see the day. “I’m Joe Russo now, and I’m cleaning because Iris is tired, and this place is a mess.” She’s also pretty mad at you. “What?” Yeah. She kind of wanted her wedding night to be…well…more of a wedding night. “Oh. Well, there’s always the morning after the wedding.” Yeah…whatever.

“So you cleaned the house for me?” “Yeah, no big deal.” “…I see.” “Come lie next to me. You’ve been sleeping all day…I want to talk to you.” Talk? Is that what the kids are calling it…

“This book recommends that we don’t hire a nanny.” “Oh yeah? Why not?” “Apparently there’s been a rise in neglectful nannies…and sometimes they bring all their nanny friends over and have wild nanny parties.” “Doll face, where’d you get such a ridiculous book?” “No, wait…it gets better! There have been reports of nannies purposely not caring for your child if you’ve gotten angry with them.” “Well, we’re not using a nanny…I want my kids to know their parents…”

You can paint? “Yeah. I have like six creativity skill points.” Huh. “Only because I like creative girls.” And girls with brown hair…Iris is a redhead. “Yeah, but she’s the exception. She’s completely wrong for me, but that’s what makes it right.” How. Sweet.

Iris, that’s like your third sandwich. You’re not harboring twins in there, are you? “I’m not sure.” Seriously, you’re gonna get fat if you keep going like that. “I’m gonna get fat because I’m pregnant, idiot.” Uh…you’re hair looks nice? “Shutup, Jared.” Right.

The heck?! I thought you were an EMT? “I’m a Resident. I was just training some newcomers, and Iris happened to be one.” Interesting. I thought you just randomly got promoted out of nowhere. Well, have a nice night at work! “I’ll try.”

Seriously, Iris!? “What?!” Oh, I dunno…just that it’s 3AM and you’ve eaten that whole plate of sandwiches by yourself in the course of a day! “I’m sorry, I’m craving them so badly!” You’re worse than Grilled Cheese sims!

Later that morning (hey it’s fall!) “Ugh..my stomach.” I told you not to eat all of those sandwiches. “No—ugh—it’s not the sand--*gag*--ugh, I think I swallowed it!” Don’t puke. That’s gross…

Still feeling sick? “No. Worse.” What could be worse than nausea? “Goopy Gilscarbo inviting you to some new places downtown!” UGH!*vomits all over the keyboard*

The next day, this idiot bastard shows up in all his trench coat glory. What are you doing here? I bet you stole that coat. “I’m not a stealer, person with a camera and notebook….” Yeah? And I’m not a nice guy! Well, I am when I’m around cute girls, but that’s not the point here! I can get very boolprop happy, very fast. “Uh…Iris?” *knocks* Dude it’s seven in the morning, why are you even here!?

“Ben, what are you—” “Oh, Iris! I’ve missed you so much!” “Um…” “You’ve…put on some weight.” “Actually I’m—” “Look, never mind that. It suits you. I need to tell you something.”

“What do you need, Ben?” “I…okay. I’m in a bit of trouble right now.” “Gosh, how inconvenient. Well, I’ll see you later—” “Iris, please! Don’t be like that! Okay, I was wrong to snap at you. I mean, you’ve obviously let yourself go since I broke up with you. But a few days on the treadmill will get rid of that.” “Ben. I haven’t let myself go! And what kind of trouble are you in?”

“Look, Iris. I made a bad deal with some guys downtown. I just need to borrow a few simoleons.” “A few? How much is a few?” “Five…thousand.” “FIVE THOUSAND—”

“Why don’t you yell it louder so all of the Moon Islandscan hear!?” “I’m sorry, it just took me by surprise that you would ask me for five thousand simoleons.” “So you’ll help me?” “No!” “You seem to be getting by alright. You’ve even bought yourself some nice gold jewelry.” *points to wedding ring* “I didn’t…this is a wedding ring, Ben.” “Huh?”

“I’m married. To Joe. And pregnant…not fat.” “…What?” “I love him, Ben. And you’re troublesome…” “We just had a minor fight. I was going to come right back!” “Ben, I haven’t talked to you in a week…” “So you felt nothing at all for me?” “We may be a match personality wise, but Joe is better for me because he’s the opposite of me.” “That’s just great…”

“I come to you, Iris, scared out of my mind…asking for a small favor, and you turn me down. And then I figure out that you’re…impregnated by my enemy!? You know what, if I end up dead in a dark alley because I couldn’t pay the five thousand to these guys, it’ll be on your conscience, Iris. It’s like you’re killing me yourself!” Man, he’s really paranoid.

“I’ll be back one day Iris. Whether I’m dead or alive. I’ll always haunt you and your family, for as long as you live. See ya, fatty.” HEY!.........that was from Happy Feet, wasn’t it? “See ya, fatty! Where’d you come up with that one?”  Love that movie. Tapping penguins, come on! That’s classic! Iris: “He just insulted me, Jared.” Yeah, I know, but tapping penguins are way better…matter of fact, when a penguin comes on this lot, I’m going to high-five the computer. Twice.

“This is exactly why I didn’t want you to be hanging around Benjamin Long.” “Oh please…you can’t honestly take his ‘threat’ seriously, can you?” “I don’t know, Iris. Can I? He’s unpredictable, insane, and I don’t want him around our family.” “You don’t have to get all snippy.”

“I don’t have to get snippy?! Iris, he’s mentally insane and is in trouble with a lot of people. Okay? If he ever takes one step near our family, I will wring his neck.” “I just don’t see Ben doing anything harmful. That’s all.” “Yeah, well you don’t know him like I do.” “Whatever. I’m getting stressed and stress isn’t good for the baby.”

Meanwhile, as Iris was sleeping… Other line: “Hello?” “Hello, Ben. This is Joe. I have a few words for you. And if you hang up, I will come to your rundown home and drag you out of your house.” “What do you want?” “If you EVER come to my home again, or speak to my wife, I will hurt you in ways I won’t even understand. Keep your dramatic life away from my family.” *click* Yeah-yuhhhh!

“Jared, I’m having the baby!” I wouldn’t be surprised if you were actually having a plate of sandwiches… Remember to breathe!

Oh look, a child. Iris named her Phoebe. Why? I don’t entirely know. Phoebe Russo. She’s gonna be a nerd. “Hey, that’s mean. She might turn out to be a beautiful rock star!” Only if she wins the inheritance.

“Hello Phoebe! I’m your daddy. Can you say Daddy?” Dude, she’s like seven seconds old. “Baby’s respond to the voice of their parents. It soothes them.” I don’t know why, Joe, but your voice just got me extremely pissed off.

Baby room. Aren’t you glad I wasted a slide on showing you this? I am.

It always bothered me that the water is steaming hot when you bathe infants in this game. Wouldn’t that hurt or something? Apparently not. Phoebe’s cracking up in there.

“Guess who got promoted?” Gee. I don’t know. “You’re looking at Moon Islands’ new General Practitioner.” I feel so honored.

“Uncle Jared might not be so happy about my promotion, but I know you are. Right, Phoebe?” Uncle Jared? That’s weird. Don’t make them call me that. It’s not like I’m Iris’ brother or something…nor am I yours. “So what is your relationship with Iris, Jared?” What? That’s…I’m just her friend, man. Jeeze…don’t you have a baby to take care of or something…

Snow’s cool. Wanna know why? Because when it snows, Penguins show up! And there’s a slight chance that penguin will tap dance for me.

Yay. Toddlerhood. I hope you all don’t like sleeping. Iris: “We’re in the medical field, Jared. We’re made to be sleep deprived.” Ah.

Hey, Phoebe. I’m Jared. Can you smile for the camera and all the nice people on boolprop? “…” Well, I’m sure they’ll find you adorable, even if you don’t smile. :D She looks like Joe more than she does Iris. His nose, his eyes…possibly his mouth? Pretty much his whole face, but made more feminine and childlike.

“She’s really pretty, isn’t she Jared?” Huh…Oh, yeah. Phoebe’s really pretty. She has to have some of your looks in her to be that pretty, because Joe’s not exactly— “Joe is NOT ugly.” Fine. But he’s not Will Smith either. And Will Smith is nice looking. I can say that because I’m secure in my masculinity. :D

Iris, would it kill you to put some clothes on? “Relax, Jared. You’ve seen me in a bikini before, this shouldn’t be a problem. Besides, I’d tell you the reason why I’m in my underwear, but you don’t really want to hear that, do you?” Nope.

YES! YESSSSS! Oh my goodness! YES! I’m…ahhhhhhh!! I think I’m having an EPILEPTIC FIT! Mr. Penguin, I LOVE YOU. “Brrrlltpp?” AHAHAHAHAH! He’s so witty! This is my face right now  :D Hey, can you tap dance and say “See ya, fatty”? Kind of in the same way Elijah Wood says it. Your eyes are even blue like Elijah Wood’s! IMSOHAPPYIMGONNADIE.

“So, we’re having another baby?” “Yeah, I’m pretty positive. Only this time, I’m craving Mac and Cheese.” “Heh, well, we can always name the baby Cheesy.” If you guys name the baby Cheesy, I’ll slap you all. Including the baby.

Iris: “What do you think Jared is going to do when we die?” “I don’t know. He’ll probably go crazy when you die. Considering he’s pretty much in—” HEY. I’m right here in the room. Stop talking like I’m outside petting a penguin…which, you know, I don’t do. Because that’s for wimps. (Sorry Elijah Wood Penguin. I didn’t mean it.)

Are you alright? Do you need anything? “A maid.” Uh..why? “Because I don’t want to clean this toilet after I’m fini—ughughguhgug!” Sorry, Iris. We cannot afford a maid.

So, kind of ignored the family for a few days. Iris is definitely preggo in the eggo. And Phoebe is growing up. I don’t like toddlers. Kids are a bit more interesting.

Jeeze, cute overload… “Thanks, Jared. I think…” She looks older than a child, though. Are you wise beyond your years, Phoebe? “Umm…what?” Never mind.

So Iris and Joe have been saving up these past few days, and we put the money to good use. A bigger multipurpose-like room. And now there’s a family table! Not enough for a family that will eventually be five in total, if not more, but I’m sure we’ll get a better table by then.

This is Phoebe’s room. Which will most likely be shared if the next child is a girl. And up in the corner there is the new nursery.

Phoebe’s pretty quiet. She seems to like reading and studying. She’s also very nice. She’s already randomly gone up to Iris and talked to her stomach, and hugged Joe out of nowhere. And this is just like…an hour after her birthday. I would really like for her to roll knowledge. She seems like the knowledge type. But that might backfire and she’ll roll romance. Which I REALLY hope doesn’t happen.

See how nice she is? “I can’t wait until the new baby is here, momma.” “Me neither, Phoebe. You’re gonna help Momma and Daddy with the baby, right?” “Of course!” “That’s my girl.”

Brandi randomly decided to pay a visit to ol’ Iris here. “I’m not old.” “Hey bun in the oven! So you got hitched with Benjamin, did you?” Awkward.

“I used to be with him, so let me just lay out a few tips, I guess. He lives up to his last name.” Wow. “Brandi, I’m not married to Ben.” “Oh, so he just knocked you up? Well, I can plan your wedding! It’ll be pretty shotgun, though, but still—”

“No, Brandi. Listen. I’m married to Joe. And I have a little girl by him. They’re right over there playing chess together.” “Oh…I thought that was just Joe’s little sister, or something.” “Joe doesn’t have a sister…” “Really? That’s weird. Because one time a while back—before you came along, of course—I asked Joe out to go dancing, and he said he had to babysit his little sister.” He lied, obviously. Iris, you need new friends. I’d suggest Marisa, but she’s vapid as well.

“Could you not talk about Ben so loudly? Joe’s not his biggest fan. And Ben’s in some sort of trouble right now, and I don’t want people thinking I’m helping him out.” “Iris, no one is around to hear us talk about him…” “Still. The fact that so many people hate him bothers me. Like they could be in the trees listening or something.” “Most of the people Ben is in trouble with stay downtown, Iris.”

Joe: “It’s so huge…” Joe, you’re a grown man. This is the second pregnancy. You shouldn’t be so shocked.

“Phoebe…get your father.” “But I want to watch! I have school tomorrow, and I can tell everyone about the wonders of childbirth.” “Phoebe, now is not the time to be precocious. GET. YOUR. FATHER.” Phoebe, she’s in a lot of pain. Please, go get Joe.

“Momma, Daddy was cooking, and he couldn’t get away from the stove, otherwise we’d burn in a fire.” Smart move. They named this one Robin.

“Alright! My first son!” “Daddy, Robin’s a girl!” “Huh? Iris, why’d you name a girl Robin?” “It’s a gender neutral name, Joe. Besides, I really like Batman. It was either Robin or Catwoman.” Yeah, Catwoman sounds like an unsavory name. Almost like Majesty, or Foxxy Coco. “Shut up, camera boy.”

Ignore those gridlines, okay :D Hey, good job, Feebs. “Feebs?” Yeah. It’s like a nickname. “Okay…uh…Camera Boy!” That’s not…ugh. I guess it’s alright when you say it.

“Have a good first day at school, Phoebe!” “Jared, you’re embarrassing me!” Bus Driver: “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to get off the bus. This isn’t the public transportation bus. It’s a school bus. For kids. You’re not a kid. You’re a scruffy looking guy with a camera.” You make me sound like a villain when you describe me like that! I’ll see you after school, Feebs. “Seeya Camera Boy!”

“Awesome!” You seriously got an A your first day of school? “Yeah! My teacher loved my presentation for show and tell, too.” Which was… “The life of a butterfly. Not too many kids knew butterflies start out as caterpillars. Can you believe that?” I can’t. Good thing they have you to teach them something. Good job, Phoebe!

“Oh, sweetie, you’re such a smart girl!” “Everybody couldn’t wait to get home to catch butterflies.” “That’s really cool, Phoebe. Maybe next time you go to school, you can bring a friend home to play with.”

She told her whole Butterfly story to him. “Hey, Daddy, can I tell that guy about butterflies?” “Who?” “Him!” “Oh, God….sweetie, go inside. Jared, you might not want to look behind you…” Why not? Is it bigfoot?

AGH! It’s not bigfoot, it’s GOOPY! *vomits all over keyboard* Joe: “I told you not to turn around!” Goopy: “Real mature, guys. Everybody’s a critic.”

Oh, hey, remember that baby? Yeah, she’s growing up. Brace yourselves…

I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. This…ahahahahaha!! “Jared, she’s just…she’ll grow into it.” There’s a definite line across her face. Haha! Instead naming of her Robin, you should have named her The Joker. Look at that, it’s like someone cut her across the face. “She just has large cheekbones.” Haha…okay. I’m just kidding. I’m sure she’ll grow into it as well. She also happens to have your beautiful eyes… “Sorry, my what?” You’re…uh*cough* gray eyes. She has them. Yeah. And your nose. Um..anyway. I feel like she’s going to be a tomboy.

Okay, she really isn’t that ugly, I’m guessing that her cheeks just don’t match well with her jaw or something. Kid’s pretty mischievous looking, isn’t she? And to add more to the tomboy thing, her pajamas have dinosaurs. She’s also pretty grouchy and not as shy as Phoebe is. I’ll get the exact personality points next chapter. Scout’s honor.

Joe, your nose is so huge… “No, Robin, don’t try and bite it!” “Teeehehe!” That’s not a cute laugh at all. This baby kinda scares me.

“Hi, Robin! I’m gonna tickle you! I’m gonna tickle you!” “Teeehehe!” You can see the difference in personality just by their pajamas. Phoebe’s nice and sweet, like that little girl holding the bunny or whatever stuffed animal it is. Robin’s mean and ferocious like a dinosaur. I think I’ve made my point.

Phoebe brought a friend home the next day. His name’s Ocean Shahan…yeah, no comment. “I really liked your butterfly presentation, Phoebe. You’re really smart!” “Oh, well, I don’t know about that…” *blushes* “You wanna do something fun!?” “L-like what?” Yeah, Ocean, like what? 

“That’s right, Phoebe! That’s how to do planking, but straighten your arms out a little more.” *muffled* “Why do people do this, again?” “Oh, because—uh…well, I’m not entirely sure. I just saw a bunch of teenagers doing it.” I suggest you guys stop. Because planking is stupid. And you guys aren’t stupid.

Who are you talking to at 7 pm, Phoebe? *whispers* “I’m talking to Ocean, Jared!” Oh, I see… Phoebe and Ocean, sitting in a tree! “Jared!” K-I-S-S— “Stop it!” Hahaha, fine. Just remember you still have to go to bed at nine.

I think you should stay home from work. “But, I need to get money…” No, you need to rest. Plus someone has to stay here with Robin the Terrible. “Don’t call her that!” Sorry…(but she is terrible.)

“Bye, Momma!” “Alright, have a good day at school.” “Make sure to rest, Momma. Since you’re sick.” “Alright, Phoebe. Thanks.” *tears up* Iris, why are you crying? “She’s just growing up so fast…” Yep. But you still have a little toddler to cuddle. And there’s another little one on the way.

After school… “Robin, you’re supposed to stay in here with me.” “No!” “Robin, just watch the Bunny Show with me, and then we’ll play with your bunny, okay?” “NO!” You might as well give up on that, Feebs. I’ll look after Robin the Terrible, you can keep watching tv.

This is the new car Joe bought. He named it Beulah. Beulah shall stay in this family for ten generations, no matter how rich the Russo family gets. Beulah will go down in history. Shoutout to Alegra the…greyhound?

“Phoebe, did you watch Robin while I was buying the car like I asked you to?” “Uh..” Yes! She did. Iris was sleeping and Phoebe watched after Robin like a professional. “Oh. Well, thanks Phoebe. You’re really showing me your responsibility.” “No problem, Daddy.” You owe me, Feebs.

Happy Birthday to Robin the Terrible. Joe: “Stop calling her that, Jared.” You guys just don’t know how freaking mean she is!

“See, Jared! I grew into my face.” Yeah. “And you better not call me Robin the Terrible anymore. How could I be terrible? Look how adorable I am.” *sigh*

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Robin isn’t that bad. She’s just spunky. They’re pretty close, actually. They don’t look like they’re related at all though. So Phoebe’s the smart one, Robin’s the tomboyish one….I wonder what this next baby will be like.

The next day… Alright, Robin! Don’t be shy on your first day. And don’t worry about people being mean, I’m sure they’ll— “I’m not worried. I’m going to teach all those kids a lesson when I get there. More than the stupid teacher probably could.” Alright…well, that’s disturbing. Have a good day, I guess. “Shouldn’t be a problem!”

Few hours later… So what happened? “That stupid teacher gave me a bad report because I kept ‘speaking out of term’.” Well…you have to raise your hand when you have something to say, Robin. “So what!? That school is full of chumps.” Is your friend a chump too? “Yeah!”

That’s Catalina. “I mean, really, school is a waste of time. When I get older, I’m going to be a famous sports star or something amazing. School can’t teach me how to be awesome.” “Wow, Robin, you’re so cool.” “Duh.” Robin, stop tainting your classmate’s mind!

“Alright, Catalina…you need to go home or something. I’m tired of looking at you.” “Robin, you’re so mean!” “That’s not mean, Catalina. It’s being honest.” “Oh…okay. Well then I’ll see you at school Monday!” “Stop sounding so happy…” Do you all believe me now when I say she’s terrible!?

“Robin, what’s this I hear about you speaking out in class?” Yeah, Joe. Punish her. “Daddy, I didn’t mean to speak out without raising my hand. It’s just that my teacher was talking about the Greek gods, and that’s my favorite subject. I’m sorry, Daddy. I won’t do it again. I promise.” “Alright, Robin.” Wha—Are you—Oh, COME ON! Robin: “Teeehehe!”

It’s time for Phoebe to become a teenager! Pretty excited to see what she rolls :D

She rolled Pleasure, and she wants to become a Game Designer. That’s great, because that fits with her whole Smarter-than-thou personality. I added glasses to giver her that extra nerdiness. Go nerds! I guess that fact that she’s a pleasure sim could make her sort of a dreamer-type of person.

Oh, yeah. Iris is pregnant. Completely forgot to take pictures of that…oh well. Makes this go faster. Please pleasepleasepleaseplease be a boy!

It’s a girl.  Her name’s Lyra. Robin: “Mommy, she’s not that cute.” Joe: “Robin, be nice!” “I was just being honest…” Lyra has Iris’ eye color. And she’s lighter than her sisters.

Joe being a doting father as usual. “I’m not upset that you’re a girl, Lyra. I’d rather have three beautiful daughters than anything!” How sweet.

Robin: “Hello, Lyra. I hope you know that I will be the heir of the Russo family, not you. You may be the youngest, but I’m the coolest.” “Robin, hush. Everybody knows the middle child is the least favorite. People either like the oldest because of how responsible they are, or they like the youngest because of how cute they are.” “Whatever, Phoebe. I’m ten times cuter than Lyra.” “How about you get a decent haircut, then maybe someone will think you’re cute. Right now, everyone thinks you’re the rebellious child.” Lyra: “Gah!”

We be time skippin’, yo. Word. Joe: “Stop.” Ahem…happy birthday to Lyra!

Talk about adorable. She looks pretty much like Phoebe, so that makes her look more like Joe. I just thought of something. Phoebe’s the smart one, Robin’s the tough tomboyish one, and Lyra’s sweet and cute. …..Well, you better call me Professor Utonium, because I just created the Powerpuff Girls! Phoebe, commander and the leader. Lyra, she is the joy and the laughter. Robin, and she’s the toughest fighter. Powerpuffssave the day!” *bow bowbowbow* FIIIGHTINNG CRIIIME, TRYING TO SAVE. THE. WORLD. HERE THEY COME JUST IN TIME!!! THE POWERPUFF GIRLS! Yeah…sorry. Had a flashback to my childhood.

And now I leave you with this stunning bag of pixels that is my simself. He won’t appear anymore after this. So get all the drooling out of your system now! :D Oh, God. I sounded like a jerk just then. Sorry. Yeah. Okay. Next chapter, I’ll show you how Robin and little Lyra turn out. Also, let’s hope there can be more promotions and junk with Iris and Joe…because I really want to fulfill their LTW’s. At least Iris’. Anybody have a favorite kid yet? For me, it’s a tie between Phoebe and the Penguin. Later! :D

The Russo Legacy: Chapter One

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The Russo Legacy: Chapter One