1. Marriage ( 1 )
Staying Married ≄ Staying In Love
Slides by: Timothy Chan, based on
John Piper’s “This Momentary Marriage”
& Tim Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage”

2. Marriage In Today’s Culture
❖ Today’s culture devalues or misunderstands marriage
❖ “Marriage is just a piece of paper”
❖ “Marriage is an archaic and oppressive institution”
❖ “Do you want to be single and lonely, or married
and bored?” (Chris Rock, comedian) Many people
believe these are indeed the only two options.
❖ Many say living together before marriage improves
your chances of making a good marriage choice.
❖ Comment on a Yahoo forum: “I'm getting married
next year because I love my fiancé. However, if
things change, I won't hesitate to divorce him.”

3. Marriage In Today’s Culture
❖ New York Times: “The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’
Marriage” (Dec 2010)
❖ “... in modern relationships, people are looking for
a partnership, and they want partners who make
their lives more interesting ... help each of them
attain valued goals.” (Tara Parker-Hope)

4. Marriage In Today’s Culture
❖ Psychology Today: “The Case Against Marriage:
Marriage Does More Harm Than Good” (Jan 2012)
❖ “Nothing in life is permanent. Yet with marriage,
we expect ourselves to defy the laws of nature ...
Wouldn't it be more meaningful if when entering a
relationship, we accept the truth that it's going to
end some day. Then we can attach with fewer
expectations and value and learn from what is real”

5. Marriage In Today’s Culture
❖ Psychology Today: “The Case Against Marriage:
Marriage Does More Harm Than Good” (Jan 2012)
❖ “As an alternative to marriage, serial relationships
and casual encounters constantly create new and
unexpected challenges calling on us to reach more
deeply in order to navigate the demands of
different experiences.” (Stanley Siegel)

6. Marriage In “Entertainment” News

7. Your View Of Marriage
❖ (Q) Pick one of the above quotes/articles/images
from today’s culture that devalues or misunderstands
marriage. What is your response to it?
❖ (Q) Why did you decide to get married?

8. God’s View Of Marriage
❖ When Jesus gave a glimpse of the magnificent view
of marriage that God designed for mankind, the
disciples said to him: (Matt 19:10) “If such is the case
of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
❖ In other words, God’s view of marriage is so
different from ours, that the disciples could not
even imagine it to be a good thing.
❖ Jesus answered them: (Matt 19:11) “Not everyone
can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is
given.”

9. God’s View Of Marriage
❖ “The greatness and glory of marriage is beyond our
ability to think or feel without divine revelation and
without the illumining and awakening work of the
Holy Spirit.” (John Piper)
❖ Two things we can say about marriage:
1. The most foundational thing about marriage:
Marriage is God’s invention
2. The most ultimate thing about marriage:
Marriage is for God’s glory

10. Foundation Of Marriage
❖ Marriage is God’s idea.
❖ The Bible begins with a marriage of Adam & Eve,
and ends with a marriage of Christ and the church.
❖ (Gen 2:18) Then the LORD God said, “It is not
good that the man should be alone; I will make
him a helper fit for him.”
❖ (Gen 2:22) And the rib that the LORD God had
taken from the man he made into a woman and
brought her to the man.
❖ (Gen 2:24) Therefore a man shall leave his father
and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they
shall become one flesh.

11. Foundation Of Marriage
❖ Therefore, marriage is from God and through God.
❖ (Mark 10:9) What therefore God has joined
together, let not man separate.
❖ “What God institutes he also regulates. If God
invented marriage, then those who enter it should
make every effort to understand and submit to his
purposes for it.” (Tim Keller)

12. Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage
❖ God designed marriage to be a temporary gift.
Marriage only lasts in this life, and we will not be
married to our spouses in heaven.
❖ (Mark 12:25) For when they rise from the dead,
they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but
are like angels in heaven.
❖ (Q) There is no human marriage after death. How
does this shape your view of earthly marriage?
❖ The blessings we may receive in marriage – precious
children, sexual intimacy, high romance – are to be
held loosely, for they are not part of the next life.

13. Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage
❖ Therefore, marriage is not an ends but a means. It is
meant to be a “momentary” means that points
toward an ends with “permanence.”
❖ Marriage is not just from God and through God, but
it is ultimately for the glory of God.

14. Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage
❖ How is marriage being used to glorify God?
❖ Marriage exists to re-enact the gospel.
❖ (Eph 5:31-32) “Therefore a man shall leave his
father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is
profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ
and the church.
❖ “The highest meaning and the most ultimate
purpose of marriage is to put the covenant
relationship of Christ and his church on
display.” (John Piper)

15. Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage
❖ “Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in
love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our
lives. It’s about portraying something true about
Jesus Christ and the way he relates to his people. It
is about showing in real life the glory of the
gospel.” (John Piper)
❖ (Q) What kind of picture is your marriage currently
portraying to other people? How is Jesus and/or the
gospel being displayed by the way you relate to your
spouse?

16. Marriage Is A Covenant
❖ “Staying married, therefore, is not mainly about
staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. “Till
death do us part” or “As long as we both shall live” is
a sacred covenant promise – the same kind Jesus
made with his bride when he died for her.” (John
Piper)

17. Marriage Is A Covenant
❖ “Therefore, what makes divorce and remarriage so
horrific in God’s eyes is not merely that it involves
covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves
misrepresenting Christ and his covenant. Christ will
never leave his wife. Ever.” (John Piper)
❖ (Prov 2:17) [She] forsakes the companion of her
youth and forgets the covenant of her God.
❖ “To break faith with your spouse is to break faith
with God at the same time.” (Tim Keller)
❖ (Q) If Christ wants our marriages to reflect his
loving union with us, his church, what changes
might this inspire you to make in your marriage?

18. Summary of Study #1
❖ It’s impossible to understand the greatness of
marriage without divine intervention.
❖ Marriage is God’s idea – it is from God and through
God.
❖ There will not be human marriage in heaven –
marriage is a momentary gift.
❖ Marriage exists to re-enact the gospel, to display the
loving union between Christ and his bride, the
church.
❖ Staying married is not mainly about staying in love.
It’s about keeping covenant.