posted by: ravish roshan

1. Rok Sako to Rok Lo: Wish someone had stopped him!!!
Presenting the first-hand review of Rok Sako to Rok Lo, management
guru Arindam Choudhuri's planned, researched, organised foray into
intelligent movie-making.
Management Lesson #1: You arrive in life when you roll into a
school.Your school is your biggest thappa in life. So all of you who went
to what's that place called, haan, an IIT / IIM and thought that you
have arrived in life, pls reconcile to your lowly existence if your school
was not called Valley High.
Management Lesson #2: Even if you are a high school drop-out, you
can still inspire others.Sunny Paaji is in the most inspiration role of his
life in this movie.19 years back, he was unceremoniously thrown out of
his school for some small, iddly-piddly reason like beating the shit out of
his Vice Principal. I mean, come on. He was just a Vice Principal. And
you have to understand that the kid was under the influence of alcohol /
bad company. And for God's sake - quot;Vidya ke mandir ka kaam raasta
dikhaana hai, unhe school se nikal kar bhatkaana nahi.quot; That injustice
left such an indelible mark on the poor kid's mental health that he still
hovers around the school in his long hair, unkempt beard and not to
mention a Harley Davidson (sometimes in Toyota Lexus SUV also). He
dies speeding his Toyota at 220 kmph in order to beat some arrogant
12th standard kids in an impromptu car race and that inspires the other
kids who survived that incident to run a marathon. Move over, Mahatma
Gandhi. We have found a new role model.
Management Lesson #4: Its only your school which decides whether
you are a quot;phatichar foolquot; or a quot;Cool dudequot;.So what if you drive a zango
Yamaha Enticer while you are in 12th standard. So what if your house is
a 8000 sq ft Duplex. So what if you have a personal home theatre and
furniture straight out of a Gautier showroom in your state-of-the-art

2. bedroom. If you dont study in Valley High, you are a middle-class
scrounge. Even the long array of imported whiskey in your father's
ultra-chic bar at home cannot deny that fact.You are doomed, you lower
middle class rat.
Management Lesson #5: Valley High School encourages charity.All the
girls in that school have donated all the money they get for their school
uniforms to gareeb bachcha log keeping just enough money to let them
wrap their modesty in a 12-inch end-to-end micro-mini (or was it mega-
mini?) skirt. Now I know why I lack a value-system. I always thought
about the hair on my legs not looking nice and shifted to a full-pant in
5th standard even though the norm was for 6th standard. But then, not
everyone is so cultured.
Management Lesson #6: Marathon races are important events in the
school calendar.Board exams? What board exams? What debates? What
quizzes? What what?Did you ever run for your school in a marathon
race with the school-next-door? I knew it. I knew it. You loser. You
middle-class loser.
Management Lesson #7: You dont need to do all that you did to be
popular in school.Our Hero (introducing Yash Pandit as Dev) has flunked
twice in school (So what!!!). He does not participate in any competitions
as they are too kiddish (see, his maturity). He does not have any great
talent (going by the three hours of the movie, else I will take your word
if you said he was a Leonardo Da Vinci in person). But hello,
hello.....does that make you think he was only as popular as you in
school? He is the god's gift to Bharati School. His popularity rivals that
of Sachin Tendulkar's in Mumbai's Shivaji Park. So much so that even
though there are 10 other kids participating in that Grand Marathon,
everyone, EVERY ONE, including the parents of those kids (poor kids,
tch tch!!!) cheers for him to win it.
Management Lesson #8: Degree-weegrees ki apni ahmiyat hai, but
what matters in life is dosti.Can someone pls tell this to my batchmates
sitting in their plush Fleet Street Office of some investment bank in
London as to what they missed out on? (I am feeling good....at
last....someone understood my point-of-view).
Management Lesson #9: It takes great market research to make a
movie.Did you know (straight out of Choudhury's Believe it or not)- If
you house-break into a teacher's bedroom in the night and steal the
papers for tomorrow's exams, you can still get away with it if the papers
do not belong to THAT exam.- All North Indians are idiots who drink all

3. day, curse and sing Punjabi songs.- All South Indians are idiots who
keep hitting their kids to prove a point- All Bengalis are idiots who go to
the bathroom 12 times a day.
Management Lesson #10: All moviegoers are idiots.Yes they are. I
swear they are. All the five people in that theatre.Each one of them.
p.s. And if you are wondering where Management Lesson #3
vanished...well, there were quite a few things the movie failed to
explain. So why blame the poor quot;criticquot;?