1. ANG STORYANG ITO AY PAGMAMAY-ARI NI HYSTG. MAGKAKABUNI, BULUTONG AT PIGSA SA
ILONG, SA PWET, SA KILI KILI, SA SINGIT AT SA MATA ANG SINUMANG MAGKAKALAT O
MANGAAGAW O MAGTATANGGAL NG COPYRIGHT NG STORYANG ITO.
ANDITO NA RIN NAMAN AKO AT NAGSASALITA, BAGO KAYO MAGBASA MAGPA-PLUG MUNA AKO.
BWAHAHA. BISITAHIN PO NAWA NINYO ANG AKING
WEBSITE(haveyouseenthisgirl.yolasite.com) O ANG AKING WATTPAD
ACCOUNT(http://www.wattpad.com/user/HaveYouSeenThisGirL ) MAAARI RIN PO KAYONG
MAG-FAN SAKIN DUN KUNG HINDI IKASASAMA NG KALOOBAN NINYO. BWAHAHA. SUBUKAN NYO
RIN PO SANANG BASAHIN ANG IBA KO PANG STORYA. YUN LANG. BWAHAHAH (* u*)
“AND THIS LOVE WAITS“
SHORT STORY COMPILATIONS written by HaveYouSeenThisGirL (HYSTG)
“WAITING FOR THE TRAIN“
Dugdugdug.
Kahit gaano pa kalakas ang tibok ng puso mo at gaano man sya kalapit sayo, basta
may dumaang tren, hindi nya 'to maririnig. Sinubukan kong ibulong kaso
nakaheadset sya, hindi nya narinig.Dadaanin ko sana sa sulat kaso nilipad ng
hangin ng tren. Nung isinigaw ko, nakasakay na sya sa tren at nagsara na ang
pinto nito at nakaandar na bale hindi nya rin narinig....
Wag mong sabihing torpe ako, ilang beses kong sinubukan sabihin sa kanya pero
lagi akong pinipigilan ng tren kahit hanggang sa dulo ng hininga nya.
5yrs na yung nakakaraan nung unang beses ko syang nakita sa may LRT. Naka-
uniform sya ng ibang eskwelahan, lagi ko syang napapansin kasi lagi syang
nakatayo sa isang certain point sa train tuwing umaga. Parehas kaming nagco-
commute papuntang school gamit ang tren, ang cute nya kasi kaya kapansin pansin
sya. Wala naman akong balak na lumapit sa kanya o maging close sa kanya, I was
already contented sa pagtingin tingin sa kanya sa malayo. Kaso...
Nalaglag yung panyo ko nung isang araw, nagmamadali kasi ako nun makababa ng
tren dahil sa may dadaanan pa ako bago pumuntang school at dahil sa pagmamadali
ko hindi ko napansing nalaglag yung panyo ko. Buong araw hinanap ko sa school ko
yung panyo ko, akala ko kasi sa school ko nawala. Kaya naman nung uwian na,
habang nagaantay ako sa may isang bench dun sa tapat ng rails biglang may tumabi
sakin at pagtingin ko kung sino, nakita ko siya.
"Miss, sa tingin ko iyo 'tong panyo na ito?" inabot nya sakin yung panyo,
"Nakita ko kasing nalaglag sayo kaninang umaga nung paglabas mo ng train,
tatawagin sana kita kaso nakatakbo ka na eh."
Inabot ko yung panyo ko, "Ah thank you. Buti alam mong sumasakay din ako pauwi
dito sa train na 'to."
Inaasahan kong napapansin nya rin ako sa tuwing nasakay ako sa tren sa umaga at
sa hapon.
"Ah, hindi. Nagkataon lang, nakita kasi kitang umupo dito eh kaya ayun binigay
ko sayo yan. Ayaw ko naman itapon kanina, nagbabakasakali kasi akong makita ka
ulit at maisauli sayo."
Kahit hindi nya alam na lagi akong nasakay sa train na yun eh natuwa pa rin ako
kasi, hindi nya tinapon yung panyo ko at nagbakasakali syang makita ako. He's a
gentlemen at dahil dun, mas lalong lumalim ang pagtingin ko sa kanya.
After that incident, hindi na ulit kami nagkaroon ng chance magusap. I was too
shy to approach him pero ang nakakatuwa lang eh, madalas kaming nagkakatabi sa

2. bench sa tuwing magiintay kami sa train pauwi. Magha-hi o ngingiti lang sya
sakin at ganun din ako pero pagkatapos nun, katahimikan na lang ang namamagitan
samin. Ano pa ba aasahan ko diba? Hindi naman kami close.
Pero pag patagal talaga ng patagal, lalong lumalaki talaga ang nararamdaman mo
sa isang tao. Isang beses nga, sumakay kami sa train at yung time na yun sobrang
dami ng tao sa tren at sobrang sikip kaya naman nung sumakay kami sa tren eh
katabi ko sya pero... as in KATABI ko sya kung saan wala ng space. Nakasandal na
kasi ako sa pinto at nasa harapan ko naman sya, yung kamay nya nakapatong na
lang sa may pintuan din sa pagitan ng ulo ko.
"Pasensya na ah, ang sikip talaga eh." bulong nya sakin. Hindi ko sya masisisi,
sobrang sikip talaga na halos hindi ka na makagalaw.
Nakatingin sya sa ibang direksyon kaya naman libreng libre akong pagmasdan ang
mukha nya ng sobrang lapit. Narinig ko pa syang bumulong sa sarili nya, "Ang
init."
Tumatagagtak na nga ang pawis nya sa init pero kahit ganun, hindi ko naaamoy
ang pawis nya. Hindi sya amoy pawis, infact amoy na amoy ko pa nga ang mabango
nyang pabango. Bagay rin sa kanya ang pawisang itsura, lalong dumadagdag sa
pagkamasculine nya.
Pero nabigla na lang ako ng mahuli nya akong nakatingin sa kanya, ngumiti lang
sya at dahil sa hiya ko eh nginitian ko lang din sya pabalik at yumuko na, ewan
ko kung pagkatapos nun ay inalis nya na ang tingin nya sakin. Sobrang lakas ng
dibdib ko at sa sobrang lapit namin sa isa't isa, ewan ko kung naririnig nya
ito. Pero sa tingin ko hindi din naman, kasi maingay ang train... Mas maingay
ang train sa tibok ng puso ko kaya malabong marinig nya yun.
Nung nagstop ang tren sa first stop nito at nagbukas ang pinto, kamuntik na
akong ma-out of balance pero buti na lang nahawakan nya agad ako sa likod at
hinila pabalik sa loob.
"Kamuntik ka na dun ah," alam ko ginawa nya yun para tulungan ako at hindi
malaglag pero kung titignan mo yung situation, parang niyakap nya ako when
infact eh hinila nya lang talaga ako pabalik.
"Oo nga eh, thank you ah." nahihiya kong sabi.
"Wala yun, move a little bit here," binitawan nya na ako at tinuro nya ako sa
isang maliit pero safe na space sa may likod nya, medyo nabawasan na kasi ang
mga tao dahil nagbabaan na yung iba so meron ng space kahit konti para
magalawan.
"Ah sige, thank you." pumunta ako sa space na tinuro nya. Nginitian nya lang ako
at nginitian ko lang din sya pero inalis ko din agad ang tingin ko dahil sobrang
nahihiya ako at ang lakas talaga ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Pagkatapos nun, wala na
ulit. Tahimik na ulit.
Hanggang sa umalis na sya at nagwave sakin. Una kasi syang bumababa sakin.
Nagpatuloy nanaman yung ganung routine namin, na mag-ha-hi at magngi-ngitian
lang at pagkatapos wala ng imikan. Hanggang dun lang lagi kami.
Bawat araw na dumadaan, talagang lumalaki ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya kaya
naman isang araw napagdesisyunan kong magtapat sa kanya.

3. "Hi!" dumating na sya.
"Hi!" bumati din ako sa kanya at yumuko na ulit. Sa gilid ng mata ko nakita kong
umupo na sya sa tabi ko. Nakayuko lang ako nun at sobrang nagiipon ng lakas para
sabihin sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko.
Hinigpitan ko ang fist ko at ibinulong pero sa isang bulong na sigurado kong
maririnig ng sinumang nasa tabi ko, "I like you."
Nagintay ako ng reaction nya at narinig kong sinabi nya, "Ha? May sinabi ka ba?"
Pagtingin ko sa kanya, nadisappoint ako kasi nakita kong tinatanggal nya yung
headset nya. Alam ko may narinig sya kaya nagtanong sya pero siguro hindi nya
narinig ng ayos since nakikinig sya kanina ng music.
Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya kahit sa loob loob ko ay disappointed ako, "Ah wala,
kausap ko sarili ko."
"Ah ganun ba," ngumiti lang din sya at ibinalik sa tenga nya yung headset nya.
Yumuko na lang ulit ako.
Ayaw ko ng ulitin pa yung mga salitang yun, baka kasi hindi nya nanaman marinig.
Sobrang dami ng lakas ng loob na inipon ko ang nasayang lang. Pero ayaw kong
sumuko... ayaw kong hindi nya malaman ang nararamdaman ko. Ayaw kong ikimkim
lang 'tong nararamdaman ko.
Kaya naman napagdesisyunan kong gumawa ng sulat sa kanya. Isang sulat na
naglalaman ng nararamdaman ko sa kanya at kung papaano ko syang pinagmamasdan
noon ng patago sa umaga at pauwi sa may tren.
"Hi!" ito na ulit sya at kumaway sakin.
"Hello." at ito nanaman ulit akong sumasagot sa kanyang bati. Katulad ng
nakagawian, umupo sya sa tabi ko at nakita ko ang pagkakataon ng pagaabot ng
sulat ko sa kanya. May dala kasi syang isang libro sa kamay at sa pagupo nya ay
pinatong nya ito sa kanan nya kung saan ay sa kaliwa ko naman. Habang nakatingin
sya sa malayo at nakikinig ng musika, pasimple kong isiningit sa libro nya ang
sulat ko. Kinakabahan pa nga ako nun kasi baka mahuli nya ako pero nagtagumpay
naman ako.
"Ayan na ang tren," narinig kong sabi nya habang tumayo sya at hinawakan yung
libro pero sa pagkuha nya ng libro nalaglag yung sulat ko at nagdiretso ito sa
ilalim ng riles ng tren, napansin nya ito, "Hala may nalaglag na papel kaso nasa
ilalim ng riles! Ano kayang papel yun? Hala, hindi naman siguro importante yun
mabuti pang hayaan ko na lang yun."
Tumayo na din ako sa upuan ko, nakita ng dalwang mata ko kung papaano nalaglag
ang sulat ko sa libro nya at kung paano ito dinala ng hangin sa ilalim ng
tren,sa may riles, "Ah, hindi nga yun importante, wag mo na lang kunin."
Napalingon sya sakin ng may pagtataka pero nilagpasan ko lang sya at pumasok na
ako sa loob ng tren, sumunod din naman sya pagkatapos. Umiyak ako paguwi ko nun,
sobrang disappointed talaga ako sa kinahinatnan ng sulat ko sa kanya. Ayaw ba
talaga ng tadhana na malaman nya ang nararamdaman ko?
Pagkatapos nung incident na yun, 2weeks ko rin syang hindi nakita. Hindi ko alam
kung bakit, kung anu ano na nga ang pumasok sa isip ko.

4. Mga pumasok sa isip ko:
A. Nagkokotse na sya
B. Nagkasakit sya
C. Drop out na sya
D. Nagbago schedule ng class nya
E. Wala syang pamasahe
F. Nagpalit na sya ng school
G. Namatay na sya
Makiki-erase nung letter G. Ayaw ko nun. Nakakainis kasi eh, ni hindi ko alam
name nya ni wala akong contacts nya. 2weeks akong walang balita sa kanya. Minsan
tuloy nawawalan na ako ng ganang gumising sa umaga, kasi sya yung motivation ko
sa tuwing papasok ako sa umaga at sasakay ng train. Yung paghapon naman, nung
nawala sya, dun ko lang narealize kung gaano pala kahaba ang pagiintay ko... dun
ko lang narealize kung gaano pala katagal magintay ng 20minutes. Nung andun kasi
sya, parang ang bilis lang ng oras.
Namimiss ko sya. Akala ko talaga hinding hindi ko na sya makikita pero nung
nagiintay na ako ng train pauwi at biglang may nag-hi sakin, sobrang bumilis ang
tibok ng puso ko.
"Hi!" hindi ako nagkakamali, boses nya yun. Lumingon agad ako sa kanya para
maconfirm ang mga ngiti nya.
Nginitian ko din sya, "Hello!"
Umupo sya sa tabi ko, "Long time no see."
Natutuwa ako dahil nakita ko ulit sya at kinakausap nya ako ngayon.
"Oo nga eh..."
"Nagkasakit kasi ako nung isang isang linggo tapos nung isa pang linggo, nagcamp
ako sa malayong city kaya hindi na ako nakakasakay dito sa tren."
"Ah ganun ba." yun lang yung nasabi ko kahit ang totoo andami kong gustong
itanong sa kanya at gusto ko pa syang makausap ng mas mahaba.
Pero inaatake kasi ako ng hiya eh pero sa totoo lang, natutuwa ako at nagkwento
sya sakin kahit hindi kami close. Iniisip ko tuloy na ang pagkikita namin palagi
sa tren ay hindi lang parte ng buhay ko kundi parte na rin ng buhay nya. Umaasa
akong ganun nga.
Lumakas ang loob ko sa isipang yun kaya naman humarap ako sa kanya, "Ano!"
Lumingin sya sakin nung nagsalita ako, pumikit ako at sinabi sa kanya ang
nararamdaman ko, "I like you!"
*TUUUUUUUUUUN!*
"Ha?" hindi nya narinig yung sinabi ko kasi sabay sa pagsalita ko ng mga
katagang yun ay dumating na ang tren at sa tuwing dumadating ang tren, gumagawa
ito ng malakas na ingay... Bakit ganun? Bakit sa tuwing may sasabihin ako
pinipigilan ako ng tren?
"Ah wala. Sabi ko ayan na yung tren, tara na."
"Ah ganun ba." ngumiti sya at tumayo na para lumapit sa may riles. Ako tumayo
na rin ako pero nanatili ako malapit sa bench at hindi ako naglakad papalapit sa
riles ng tren, nadidisappoint kasi ako kaya ayaw kong gumalaw.

5. Napansin nya ata akong hindi gumagalaw kaya lumingon sya sakin, "Uy, ito na yung
tren. Hindi ka ba sasakay?"
Habang nakayuko ay umiling lang ako.
"Ganun ba..." sumakay na sya dun sa loob, tumingala ako, nakita kong nasa may
tapat sya ng pinto since puno na sa loob, bukas pa yung pinto ng tren,
nakatingin lang sya sakin nun ng may pagtataka.
Naisip ko na hahayaan ko na lang bang pigilan ng tren ang nararamdaman ko? Kaya
naman lumapit ako, nilagay ko ang mga kamay ko sa paligid ng bibig ko at
sumigaw, "GUSTO KITA!"
Pero sabay sa pagsigaw ko, nagsarado yung pinto at umandar na yung tren. Alam ko
hindi nya narinig kasi nakita kong nagtaka lang yung expression nya na para bang
nagtatanong, 'anong sinabi mo'?
Kahit gaano kalakas yung sigaw ko, mas malakas pa rin ang ingay ng tren at
idagdag mo pang pag nakasara ang pinto, hindi mo na maririnig ang nasa labas.
Ayaw talaga. Hindi talaga. Tama na talaga. Hindi sumasang-ayon ang tren sa
nararamdaman ko at kaya naman simula nun, hindi ko na sinubukan pang magtapat
muli. Pero yung desisyon kong yun na hindi na talaga ulit magtapat ay
pinagsisisihan ko hanggang ngayon kasi kung hindi ako nagpatalo sa pagpipigil ng
tren at patuloy sana akong nagtapat sa kanya kahit anumang sagabal ang pumigil
sakin edi sana bago sya nawala... narinig nya man lang kahit isang beses ang
nararamdaman ko. Kahit isang beses lang... pero huli na eh...
March nun... papasok pa lang ako nun at katulad ng dati, andun din sya.
Nagngingitian lang kami at patago ko lang syang pinagmamasdan. Wala na talaga
akong balak magconfess sa kanya nun dahil pinanghinaan na ako ng loob. Akala ko
ordinary day lang yun, yung alam mo bang... papasok ka sa school, makikita ko
sya, makikita ko yung mga classmates ko, magsasabi ako ng "present" pag tinawag
ako sa rollcall, yung hindi ako makakasagot sa recitation tapos mabibigla ako
sa isang surprise quiz... yung mga ganun. Akala ko talaga ganun yung mangyayari
sa araw na yun... Pero hindi, hindi yun yung nangyari... Nangyari ang isang
bagay na hindi ko inaasahan sa buong buhay ko, isang pangyayaring nakakatakot...
Nasa subway pa nun yung train ng biglang nagkaroon ng malakas na pag-alog at
maririnig mo ang isang malakas na SCREEECH at pagkatapos tumigil ng biglaan yung
train with a very strong impact kaya naman napasubsob kaming halos lahat sa
sahig ng tren, namatay ang ilaw. Dahil sa malakas na pag-alog bago tumigil ang
tren, may mga salamin na nabasag at dahil dun may mga nasugatan. May mga bato
rin na pumasok sa loob ng tren at maraming natamaan. Yung iba nauntog sa kung
saan, basta maraming nasugatan at hindi ko alam kung yung iba buhay pa.
Masyadong madilim at maririnig mo ang maraming iyak at humihingi ng tulong, ako
walang nangyari sakin kundi nauntog lang ako sa may semento ng tren, yun lang
yung pinagpapasalamat ko pero nung binuksan ko yung cellphone ko para
magkaliwanag, nakita ko kung anong nangyari sa mga tao sa loob ng tren. Sobrang
nakakatakot, puro dugo, puro sugatan. At sa tingin ko merong mga patay.
Pinanindigan ako ng balahibo.
May isa akong taong unang hinanap... at yun ay sya.

6. Pero nagimbal ako nung makita ko sya. Nakahiga sya dun sa may semento, sugatan
at duguan. Nilapitan ko kaagad sya.
"A-ayos ka lang ba?" hinawakan ko ng marahan ang balikat nya para matapik sya.
Binuksan nya yung mga mata nya, "A-ansakit."
Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko, kitang kita ko kung paano nadamage ang katawan nya
kaya sa taranta ko, sumigaw ako, "Tulong! Tulong!"
Pero walang nakakarinig sakin, walang sumasagot sa tulong ko. Kinuha ko yung
cellphone ko pero walang signal. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.
"M-mamatay na a-ata ako." narinig ko yung sinabi nya.
Napaiyak ako at sinigawan sya, "Ano ba sinasabi mo?!! Wag ka ngang ganyan!
Hahanap ako ng tulong, wag kang mamamatay!"
Tumayo na ako nun para sana maghanap sa ibang part ng tren pero bigla nya akong
hinawakan sa kamay, naramdaman ko pa nga ang dugo nya sa balat ko, "D-dito ka
lang."
Lumingon ako sa kanya, "Pero kelangan kong humanap ng tulong. Hindi pedeng
pagmasdan lang kitang nakahiga dyan at nauubusan ng dugo!"
"W-wag kang umalis." hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko, napaluhod na lang
ako sa tabi nya at umiyak.
"Please, wag kang mamamatay. Please."
"K-kung sakali man," napatingin ako sa kanya, may inaabot sya bulsa nya, "B-
basahin mo sana 'to."
May inabot sya saking sulat, pinagmasdan ko lang sya ng may pagtataka pero
inabot ko din ito.
"A-ano 'to?"
"M-matagal tagal ko na rin g-gustong ibigay yan s-sayo...a-aray!" nataranta
nanaman ako ng marinig kong umaray sya.
"Saan ang masakit? Anong pede kong gawin?" sobrang nagaalala ako kasi sobrang
dami na ng dugong nawawala sa kanya tapos umuubo ubo na sya.
"S-sana basahin mo..." pagkatapos nun, pumikit sya.
Natakot ako sa pagpikit nyang ginawang yun kaya tinapik ko ulit sya ng mahina sa
balikat, "H-huy! Wag kang pumikit!"
Pero hindi sya namulat, hinawakan yung balikan nya at niyugyog sya, "Uy! Mumulat
ka naman oh!"
Wala pa rin nasagot, iyak na iyak na ako dahil alam ko na kung bakit sya
pumikit.
"Uy! Mumulat ka please! Wag kang ganyan! Sino na lang babati sakin sa tuwing
sasakay ako ng tren? Sino na lang makakatabi ko sa bench habang nagiintay sa
pagdating ng tren? Huy! Mumulat ka naman oh! Parang awa mo na... Don't leave
me... Wake up... please oh... please.." nakabaon na yung mukha ko sa chest nya
habang tuloy tuloy sa pagtulo ang mga luha ko, "Alam mo ba, I wasn't actually
waiting for the train... I was actually waiting for you... Kung hindi ka
mumulat, sino na lang iintayin ko sa umaga at sa hapon? Magmulat ka naman oh...
Alam mo bang mahal na kita? Mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita."
Pero sa nakapatong kong ulo sa dibdib nya, wala akong marinig na tibok ng
puso.... Hindi na sya mumulat. He already arrived at his final destination, he

7. won't be waiting for the train anymore. Wala na akong kasabay... magisa na lang
akong magiintay sa tren. Ni hindi nya man lang narinig yung nararamdaman ko...
Hindi ko na matandaan kung anong oras dumating ang mga rescuers non basta ang
natatandaan ko na lang ang kung gaano kasakit yung mawala sya. Mga nasa higit 10
ang namatay at maraming sugatan, lahat kaming sugatan ay dinala sa ospital.
Napagalaman na lang na nagkaroon daw pala ng problema sa isang part ng tren kaya
nawalan ito ng control at nagcrash sa kabilang area. Buti na lang daw talaga
nabalitaan agad yung pagcrash nito kundi baka hindi nawarningan yung kabilang
tren at kung hindi yung nawarningan, baka sila madamay sa insidente.
Nung nasa ospital na ako at halos hindi na kayang umiyak ng mga mata ko, kinuha
ko sa bulsa ko yung sulat na inabot nya, may mga dugo nya pa ito..
"DEAR Train Girl,
Pasensya na kung train girl ang tawag ko sa'yo ah, hanggang ngayon kasi hindi ko
pa rin alam ang pangalan mo eh. Wala kasi akong sapat na lakas ng loob eh.
Hanggang hi at hello lang ang kaya kong gawin. Nakakatorpe kasi eh. Pero alam mo
ba, noon pa lang pinagmamasdan na kita, ang cute mo kasi eh. Natuwa nga ako nung
malaglag yung panyo mo, dun ako nakakita ng chance para mapansin mo. Nakita kita
umupo ka nun sa bench, lumapit ako at nagpasimple pero nakakainis nga, yun na
yung chance ko pero hindi ko man lang natanong ang pangalan mo. Napipi kasi ako
eh. Pag nasa harap na kasi kita, hanggang hi at hello lang ang kaya kong gawin.
Sinubukan ko na ring magtapat sayo ng ilang beses pero lagi akong nasablay,
isang beses gusto ko sanang maglagay ng letter sa bag mo nung kasagsagan ng
kasikipan sa train. Katabi kita nun at pasimple kong ilalagay sana yung letter
ko sa bag mo kaso dahil sa pagandar ng train at naitulak ng isang ale ang kamay
ko, sa ibang bag ko naishoot yung letter ko. Hindi ko na nagawang mabawi yun dun
sa mayari ng bag kasi baka iba isipin nun sakin.
Minsan naman, nagpapasimple ako sa pagtatapat... Sa tuwing nakaupo tayo sa bench
at nagiintay sa train, naglalagay ako ng headset sa tenga ko at nakikinig ng
musika, pinipili ko yung isang musika na sumasakto sa nararamdaman ko sayo at
kinakanta ko yung ng malakas, yung lakas na sapat lang na maririnig mo. Hindi ko
alam kung napapansin mo yun pero siguro iniisip mo lang na normal na nakanta
lang ako magisa pero ang totoo talaga, sa mga panahong naririnig mo akong
kumakanta habang nagiintay ng train, lahat yung dinededicate sayo ng torpe kong
puso.
Sinubukan ko pa ulit sanang magtapat sayo nun kaso nung pagkasabi ko ng mga
katagang 'gusto kita' at paglingon ko sayo, nakita ko tulog ka na pala.
Hinalikan pa nga kita sa pisngi nun, wag ka sanang magagalit. Ang ganda mo kasi
nung natutulog ka hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Ginising na nga lang kita
nung dumating na yung tren eh.
Naulit ulit yun, nung nasa loob na tayo ng tren. Magkatabi tayong nakaupo nun,
sinasabi ko ulit sayo yung nararamdaman ko habang nakatingin ako sa kisame dahil
nahihiya nga ako pero natigil na lang ako sa pagsasalita ng maramdaman kong
bumagsak ang ulo mo sa balikat ko, dun ko lang napagtanto na tulog ka pala. Lagi
mo na lang akong tinutulugan sa tuwing nagtatapat ako.
Nawala ako ng 2linggo since nagkasakit ako at nagkaroon ako ng camping. Dun ko
naramdaman kung gaano kita gustong makita, sobrang namiss kita. Nasanay na kasi
akong nakikita ka palagi at nagha-hi sayo. Yun bang, marinig ko lang ang "hello"
mo at ngingitian mo ako, kumpleto na yung araw ko. Kaya naman napagdesisyunan
kong sumulat ulit sayo pero this time sisiguraduhin kong ibibigay ko ito sayo
pagkita natin sa bench.

8. Alam mo kasi, sa tingin ko mahal na ata kita. Ok lang kung hindi ganun ang
nararamdaman mo sakin, basta sana pagkabasa mo nito ngingitian mo pa rin ako
bukas at maghehello ka pa rin. Sana magpatuloy itong routine natin, masaya ako
sa ganto.
Sige, magkita na lang ulit tayo bukas. :)
- Train Guy"
Sige, magkita na lang ulit tayo bukas.
Naiyak ako pagkabasa ko nung mga huling kataga. Magkita na lang ulit tayo bukas?
Hindi na... hindi na tayo magkikita... Hindi tayo umabot sa bukas.
Kahit 5taon na nakalipas, hindi ko pa rin sya nakakalimutan. Naaalala ko pa rin
yung sulat nya, at sa tuwing nagiintay ako sa bench na yun na lagi naming
pinagaantayan, umiiyak ako minsan dahil umaasa akong maririnig ko ulit yun "hi"
nya tapos uupo sya sa tabi ko. Pero malabo na talaga yun... malabo na. Wala na
sya eh.
Isang beses nga, nakita ko dun sa bench ang isang vandal na sadyang nagpaiyak pa
sakin ng sobra...
Train guy: "hi!"
Train girl: "Hello!"
<3
Isang dialogue yung vandal dun at may puso sa dulo. Matagal na sigurong
nakasulat dun yun kasi medyo nagfe-fade na yung kulay ng pentelpen na
pinangsulat dun. Medyo blurred na nga yung sulat eh. Antagal na talaga siguro
nito pero ngayon ko lang talaga napansin, lagi kasi akong nakayuko sa tuwing
katabi ko sya dito sa bench kaya ni minsan hindi ko napansin 'tong vandal na
'to.
Alam ko naman sya lang nagsulat nito.
*TUUUUUN! TUUUUN!*
Ayan na pala ang tren, sasakay na ako.
----
Dictionary.com
Search: Traffic
Results:
traf“fic
noun, verb, -ficked, -fick“ing.
1. the movement of vehicles, ships, persons, etc., in an area,along a street,

9. through
an air lane, over a water route, etc.
2. mutual exchange or communication
Traffic? Yes, I hate traffics... it's annoying, boring, annoying and boring.
Specially at noon time wherein the sun strikes at the highest level that it's
like you'll be roasted in no time, traffics are such nuisance. Well, I did like
the traffic once.
That was a week ago when my family and I were on our way home to Manila after a
week vacation in our province. Our movement was very slow 'coz of the traffic. I
was really bored, I tried to sleep but I wasn't able to since the heat was
killing me eventhough it's already airconditioned inside the car, the ray of the
sun was just so unbearable. The radio of the car was playing some ugly songs so
I searched for my iphone and stuck my earphones to their places and selected a
bunch of good songs in it to listen to. When I was already comfortable to the
song I was listening to, I leaned my head to the window of the car and gazed
outside. Beside us was a white car and their windows are not tinted like ours
and because of that, I was able to see a guy at the backseat of that car... He
has black messy hair and the rest I can't describe since he was wearing a black
shades but the thing is, he had his hands leaned on the window and I don't know
if he was looking at me or in our car or to my mom or to my dad or to whoever
since like what I've told you before, he was wearing black shades.
Because I thought he was cute, I gazed at him longer than I should had and to my
surprise he stopped leaning on the window and turned his back which seemed like
he was getting something from the other side. I thought that maybe he was
getting something to eat from the backpack beside him.
After some minutes, he turned to me and he was already holding a notebook and
there was something written there, I read it...
"WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?"
Of course I was shocked after reading it. I just raised an eyebrow to him, he
again turned his back to me and I thought that he was starting to write
something again. When he was finished, he showed me again the notebook...
"AM I THAT HANDSOME?"
I swear, I choked after reading that, I turned my back to him and searched for
a notebook in my bag like what he also did. I scribbled something and showed it
to him,
"IN YOUR FACE."
He replied, "YES, MY FACE IS HANDSOME."
I scribbled again, "THE NERVE, YOU LOOK LIKE A BEE IN YOUR SHADES. BZZZZ. BZZZ."
He laughed and started to write again something, "YOU LOOK LIKE A RETARDED EMO
WITH EARPHONES STUCK IN YOUR EARS. I BET YOU'RE DREAMING A MUSIC VID WHILE
LEANING AT THE WINDOW BEFORE!"
I retorted, "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S RETARTED."
He actually laughed after that and wrote something again but this time it wasn't
an insult, "Are you annoyed? Sorry, I just don't have anything to do."

10. I wrote back, "A bit but nah, it's not important."
He smiled, "Can we be friends?"
"Sure." since I thought there's nothing bad to be friends with someone while
waiting for the traffic to make some movements.
"TY. Where are you going right now?"
I thought it was really weird not to ask for someone's name first but then I
also thought that it's ok not to tell each other's name since we're still
strangers in the road and it's safe to keep the identity,"I'm heading back to
Manila."
"Me too. Where in Manila d'you live?"
"In Ortigas. You?"
"Pasay. Where d'you study?"
"In La Salle, you?"
"Same here."
"Really?! Then we're schoolmates!" I don't know, I actually thought that the
world was that small 'coz I actually talked to a schoolmate in the middle of a
traffic.
"Yes, infact I have the feeling that I saw you before."
"Really? Where?"
"Wait. Lemme think." he actually thinked after that message since he stopped
from writing. After some minutes he wrote something again, "I know! You're that
girl from accounting!"
"Hey how did you know? Awesome." I was really getting amused by our notebook
chat.
"Well you see, I like someone from your class and because of that I always look
secretly in your class to have a glance of the girl I like. And sometimes, I see
you there."
"Woah! You like someone in my class? Who? Who?"
"Err... It's a secret."
"C'mon, it's not like I'm gonna tell it to everyone."
"Well... Let's play a guessing game, I'll describe her and you take a guess." he
even wrote a smiley.
"Sure!" a moment there, I felt an excitement. Little by little, my boredom and
irritation was swifting away.
"She's a girl."
"Obvious." I even gave him the "are-you-kidding-me" face.
He laughed while writing, "She has 2 eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears."
"Sure, she's not a three-dimensional living creature that eats human poops." I
drew an annoyed smiley.
"Just kidding. Well, she has long black hair..."
"About what length?"
"Shoulder length."
I tried thinking who has a shoulder length black hair in our class and the ff
came up in my mind: Shay, Kaye, Anne, Laila, Marie, Cony and well, me... Oops, I
should exclude myself. Hahaha!
"Ok, next clue?"
"She's tall." I tried deleting the short girls in my lists before which means,
Shay&Anne are out of the list.
"And then?"
"She's not good in math." well, that sounded like a bit insulting. Well, I
eliminated Laila in the list since she's a math geek.

11. "Next."
"She's sporty." Kaye has asthma so she's out.
"A little more and I think I'm getting it." there's only mary, cony and well...
uhh... me? Well, I'm excluded! hahaha!
"She sings." well they both sing so I did not have a chance to elimate someone.
"Ok, then? What else?"
"She loves reading manga..." I'm pretty sure that Mary is not an otaku which
means...
"IT'S CONY! CONY MENDEZ!" I smiled as if I won a quizbee. I looked ridiculous.
He shook his head while smiling which actually got me confused so I wrote to
him,
"It must be Cony? She has black shoulder length hair, she's tall, she's not good
in math 'coz she often gets average scores in the tests, she always flunk in it
and then she's a volleyball player, she also joins singing contests, I even
competed to her once though she's so good that it was hard to beat her, and she
totally love manga, infact she's the one whom I talk to with my manga craze. "
He replied, "No."
I was really confused so I wrote, "Then who is it?"
By then, the traffic was making a progress but we still can see each other so I
waited for his response...
"Don't you have black shoulder length hair?" I gave him a WHAT look.
He wrote again, "You're 5'3 right? That's tall, well for a girl."
I wrote back this time, "Err... how did you know how tall I am?"
"Last exam, you had 72 in your math exam."
"Woah. How did you know? Did you see it in the school's trashcan? Gosh. I should
have torn it first, atleast that way no one will see my name in the paper."
He laughed and wrote again, "You play tennis. You sing and you like manga."
I felt goosebumps all of a sudden.
"Hi Urie, I like you." when he showed me what he wrote in his notebook, their
car started to move fast because the traffic was making a big progress on their
side. I watched him as their car move slowly away from ours until I did not see
him anymore.
And eventhough a week has already passed, I still can't help myself but to think
of that guy in the traffic road. Everytime I passby in our corridors, I make

12. sure to look around hoping to atleast see and recognize him but I always fail.
Was he really serious? Well, he knew me... he knew my name, my hobbies ang some
things about me. After that confession, why isn't he showing his self?
*BUMP*
Because I am thinking too much I did not notice the guy in front of me therefore
I bumped into him and fell on the floor, my books are in a mess.
"Oh, sorry." we both said at the same time.
"Are you okay?" he stretches out his hand and as I look at him, he is smiling
and all of a sudden, I felt something familiar.
I took his hand and stood up, "Thanks."
He picks my books and handed it to me, "Nothing. Take care, bye."
He went off. I am a little bit uneasy and I don't know why. I went to my class
afterwards and place my books on my table.
"Ok class, open your books to page 76."
I open my book and to my surprise, a paper flew out of the pages of the book. I
pick it up on the floor and saw a note,
-----------------------------------
Hi Urie. I really like you, you know. Can you meet me at the rooftop after your
class?
-----------------------------------
Without any hesitations, I went to the rooftop after my class to hear his
confession. We had a traffic of kept feelings. Not all traffics are annoying,
sometimes it's sweet. <3
"I'll be going." when he said that, he actually meant it.
5yrs I go, I missed the bus and I met a guy...
"Oh gosh, I'll be late for my bus." I was running like it was a matter and death
situation when infact, I was only running for the bus. It was already 4.38pm and
my bus was to arrive 2minutes after, at 4.40pm. I knew I wouldn't make it but I
tried and run for my life, I mean bus.
"Huff! Huff!" when I arrived the bus stop I was already running out of breath
and I had my hands on my knees.
"It just left." I was a bit surprised when someone talked, I raised my head and

13. saw a guy sitting on the bench of the shed, he was reading a book.
"Ah." I was a bit disappointed, I went to the same bench and sat at the other
end, "Did you missed the bus too?"
He raised his head and smiled at me, "Sort of."
After that, he continued reading and I kept silent. I think the silence lasted
for about 5minutes or so, if you think I was the one who broke the silence then
you're wrong, it was him...
"I guess we'll need to wait for another half hour, right? It's really boring to
wait for the bus." the bus always comes every 30minutes.
"Ah, yeah... right. It's really boring." I kicked the floor and some scattered
rocks on it, "What are you reading?"
"This?" he raised the book, "It's Now or Never by Have You Seen This Girl."
"Huh? What's that about? And what a weird screen name for an author." I felt
that the atmosphere was a bit becoming friendly. The guy seemed nice and he IS
really nice.
"The author's actually weird but the story is really cool. It's a love story but
still a guy like me is enjoying reading such story. I can feel through it." he
brushed his hair with complexed expression.
"Really? What is it about?"
"It's about a guy who fell inlove with a girl from afar and he never had the
courage to confess it to her. The title is Now and Never because there is a part
wherein the guy has to decide if he should confess it or not in that day because
if he does not confess that day, there wouldn't be any chance for his feelings
to be heard."
"Uhh... Why so?" suddenly I became curious with the story's plot and I had the
urge to actually borrow it from him because I'm actually a fan of lovestories.
"Who knows..."
"Huh?"
"I've not reached the ending yet so I don't know... haha!"
"Ahh... But you said before that you can feel through it, is it because you're
the same with the guy protagonist?"
He looked at me as if I hit the jackpot and then he looked away, "Yeah... I
actually like a girl but she doesn't know what I feel."
"Oh, but why don't you confess it?"
"I don't have the guts."
"Oh c'mon."
"Really," he sounded troubled, "I'm really afraid."
"Of what?"
"That she might reject me... She doesn't even know me & I don't even know if
she's got a boyfriend..."
"If you like someone you'll have the courage to take the risks. If I were you,
I'll confess right away."
"D'you think she will like me too? Do I look awful or what? Am I ugly? Or am I
too stereotypical? If you approve of me, I'll confess my feelings to that girl
right away."
I don't even know why we had such topic, we were merely strangers but I felt
like I wanted to help him so I patted his shoulder, "What are you saying! You're
goodlooking and I'm pretty sure that that girl will accept you! Just have
courage! If you don't confess your feelings, she'll never know and are you
contented like that? You'll live your life with what ifs if you don't let her
know."

14. He looked convinced with my words that he nodded, "You're right, I'll confess
right away."
He searched something in his pocket and pulled out his phone and dialed a
number. I waited in silence as he waited for the other line to respon, he kept
on tapping his fingers on the bench. The only thing I was unsure of was he kept
on looking at me all the time he was waiting for the other line to respond.
After some minutes, he placed back the phone inside his pocket.
"So?" I asked, a bit worried.
"I don't know, no one answered the phone."
"Are you sure you dialled her number?"
"Yes, I'm pretty sure. I asked a friend of hers for her number."
"Maybe she's busy right now, why don't you try it later?"
"I will."
Another 5minutes of silenced followed after that.
"How about you, d'you like someone?"
"Hmm... Nah..." I actually did not have someone to like before.
"Why?"
"I dunno, maybe I've not found a guy to like yet. Well, I'm not really in a
hurry so I'm not troubled with it."
"Oh, but what is your ideal guy?"
"Someone... uhh..." I tried thinking for a minute, "Umm... A guy who has black
hair with blonde highlights... umm..."
"Isn't that a bit foreign-ish?"
"Haha! But I think it's cute! I also like guys who have a piercing in the ear!
Then, then! I also like a guy with blue eyes! It's so hot! Oh, please add hot
figure!"
"You're ideal guy is non existent." he had this weird expression after he
commented and because of that I actually laughed hard.
"Don't be so mean! I mean.. atleast the guy should be sincere and loving, I'm
fine with it."
"Ah, it's hard."
"What is?"
"Ah nothing," he shook his head, "It's arriving."
"What is?" I saw him looked at his wristwatch.
"The bus."
I stood up and looked if the bus was actually arriving but I saw the other bus
which goes another way.
"Huh? Are you gonna take this bus and not the other one?"
"Nope. I'm taking this one."
"Oh, I thought we'll be riding the same bus."
"We always do." he said something that I did not hear because the sound of the
arriving bus was too loud.

15. "Well," he stood up, "I'll be going."
"Oh, and I thought we could still talk some more, I was actually enjoying.
Anyway, you always wait in this shed right? I guess, we'll be seeing each other
tomorrow."
"I don't think so." before I could ask him, he already entered the bus and waved
goodbye to me. From the windows of the bus, I saw him crying... The bus left and
I stood there for some minutes confused of what just happened.
"I don't think so." when he said that and I saw him crying, I did not have a
single idea why.
But when I sat back on the bench, I saw the book he was reading.
"Oh, he forgot." I took it and placed it on my bag, "Maybe I can return it to
him tomorrow."
After some minutes, may bus arrived. I went home, changed my clothes, had my
dinner and did some stuff.
It was 8pm when I decided to check my phone.
"Oh, where is it?" I had already undone my bag, I've already scattered all the
things in it on my bed but I still wasn't able to find it. I went to my check my
drawers and I found it inside my studytable's drawer. That day, I forgot my
phone in my house.
When I checked it, I had 5missed calls... All from the same anonymous number,
the first call was 4:53 and I already had the feeling that it was the call from
the shed...
I checked my messages after, I ignored all messages except a message from that
anonymous number.
From: +63************
Message: I never had the courage, I love you. Thank you for today, goodbye.
Out of shock, I cried. I sat down in my bed and saw the book he was reading, I
took it and opened it. But I was again surprised by the thing I saw in the
book...
It was a handwritten book and I had my picture pasted on the first page with the
caption, "And this is all about my feelings for her."
I started reading it, I could not believe everything that was written there.
"I don't even know if she had ever noticed me or if she knows that I go with the
same bus with her. I never seat and wait in the waiting shed because I was
afraid to get near her or she might hear my noisy heartbeat. I always make sure
I seat at the back of her so I can smell her fragrance and hear her voice
everytime she speaks with her friend or with her family on the phone. I felt a
bit of a maniac myself but that was the only thing I can do, to just watch her.
I don't have the courage but I do really like her."
The book wasn't finished, out of 200pages, it only reached 157.

16. "I don't even know how things will be... Today, I'll be going to California and
study there. My flight's at 7pm. This is the last day and I've decided to wait
at the shed for the first time, I do hope she'll take the bus today. If she
does, I might confess my feelings to her... But I don't really know if I could
confess, in the end I'm a big coward. Maybe if I fail to confess to her, atleast
I'll try to have a small chitchat with her... I want to have a memory with her
even for a second. Argh, I'm really troubled. It's now or never..."
After finishing the book, I looked at the clock... 8.57pm.
His flight was 7pm, he already left.
Even 5yrs had already passed, I still can't forget that guy whom I don't even
know the name. Everytime I wait for the bus, the memory I first&last talked to
him plays. It must be weird to say, but that day I actually fell inlove... love
for me went in fast and the one I love went away fast.
I'm now working as a writer in a publishing company, he had been my inspiration
with my love stories. I even made him as one of my characters and a lot of my
readers actually liked his character. I always hoped that one day I'll see him
again waiting for the bus in that same bench.
"Oh gosh! I'll be late for my bus!" I am running for my life, nah kidding, I am
running for the bus. I only have 2minutes until the bus arrives. Like always, I
knew it's impossible to catch up for the bus having only 2minutes but I always
have my hopes in me so I'm trying my best to run.
"Huff! Huff!" as soon as I reached the bus stop, I have sweats falling and I'm
running out of breath. I placed my hands on my knees and trying to inhale and
exhale properly.
"It just left." Hearing the same voice and remembering the same scene, I felt
like I am having a dejavu. I lifted my head to see who it is but I felt
disappointment as soon as I saw his hair and ear. I can't see his face 'coz it
is covered with a book. But I'm 100% sure that it's not him, as far as I
remember he's not as muscular as this guy in front of me and he doesn't have
blonde highlights and a double piercing on the right ear.
"Ah, okay." I said disappointed and sat at the other end of the bench.
"I like your book." I am surprised when he spoke but he still has the book
covered in his face. Just then, I saw what he's reading... it's my story, "Now
and Never".
"Ah, really? Thanks. How did you know I'm the author?"
"'Coz you're famous. Your work was even made into a film." right, it was
actually filmed and was even adopted into a korean & american film. That book is
a great hit, I think it's because I wrote it with my heart.
"But you're not original." I am taken aback when he said that.
"Excuse me?"

17. "I thought Now & Never was written by Have You Seen This Girl?"
Before, I have understood why that guy had a screen name of Have You Seen This
GirL, it was because he was referring to me... he was always looking for me from
afar... I have always been touched with the idea, I always read the book until
now and it never fails to warm my heart.
"Copycat." he takes off the book away from his face and I think I am
imagining...
It's not him, he doesn't even have blue eyes... but it looks like him....
"You said your ideal guy is someone who has hot body and a blonde-highlighted
hair with piercings on the ear and also with blue eyes. I did it all though I
had to put contacts for the eyes, I'm not foreign." he scratches the back of his
neck as he smiles awkwardly, "I have the courage now."
THE END.
She waited for the train,
she waited for the bus,
she waited for the traffic,
and now Haveyouseenthisgirl one shot "WAITING" stories,
And this love waits presents...
"Waiting in Vain"
written by Denny R. (haveyouseenthisgirl)
Yung mahal mo may mahal na iba. Clichè?
Ganun naman ata ang motto dito sa earth eh,
"MAHAL MO, IBA MAHAL."
Worst plot ever ang mahalin mo ang taong hindi ka mahal. Ay ano ba yan, paulit
ulit na ako na iba ang mahal ng taong mahal ko. Kasalanan ko ba kung nasasaktan
ako ng ganto, para na nga akong tanga... tatawa, iiyak, tatawa.
Mahal ko bestfriend ko. Tae, clichè nanaman.
Oo, sabihin mo ng sira akong plaka pero ang mahal ko ay ang bestfriend kong
lalaki na may ibang mahal -- yung bestfriend kong babae.
Walanjo naman. Nung nagpatama si kupido ng arrow nya, napayuko ako at nagtali ng
sintas ng sapatos kaya ang natamaan ng arrow nya ay ang bestfriend kong babae na

18. lagi kong kasama. Badtrip, bakit hindi na lang ako? Bakit sya? BAKIT?
Pero tanggap ko na sana na hindi nya ako mahal, na bestfriend kong babae ang
mahal nya... tanggap ko na sana pero hindi pala sya mahal ng taong mahal nya.
Hindi mo nagets? Ganto yun,
YUNG TAONG MAHAL KO MAY IBANG MAHAL AT YUNG MAHAL NYA MAY IBA RIN NA MAHAL.
Same kami diba? Sabi ko sa inyo, motto na sa mundo na:
"MAHAL MO, IBA MAHAL."
Mahirap tanggapin na yung taong minamahal mo, binabasura lang ng iba. At ikaw na
nagpapahalaga sa kanya ay binabasura lang din nya. Linchak na pag-ibig yan,
nagtatapunan lang ng mga nararamdaman? Ganun ba yun ha?!
Pero ang mas masakit, ang bestfriend kong babae pinapaniwalang mahal nya ang
bestfriend kong lalaki. At ito namang bestfriend kong lalaki na mahal ko,
tatanga tanga naniwala naman kay bestfriend na babae. Tinu-two time lang sya
nito.
Sinabi ko ito sa kanya, hindi sya naniwala. Pinagalitan at pinagsabihan ko ang
bestfriend kong babae, sabi ko sa kanya,
"WAG MONG PAGLARUAN ANG NARARAMDAMAN NG MGA TAO, HINDI KA NA BATA PARA MAGLARO."
Pero matigas ang bestfriend kong babae, patuloy nya pa ring niloloko ang
bestfriend kong lalaki. At patuloy na nagpapaloko pa rin ang mahal ko sa taong
mahal nya.
Ansaklap naman ng kapalaran na ito, bakit ba kasi hindi na lang tayo mahalin ng
mga taong mahal natin? Hindi ba para balance? Bakit kelangang may "nanghahabol"
at "tumatakbo"?
"Tigilan mo na itong katangahan na ito! Hindi ka nya mahal! Niloloko ka lang
nya, may iba pa syang lalaki! Hindi ka nagiisa! Hindi ka nya sineseryoso!"
"HINDI MO ALAM MGA PINAGSASASABI MO, WAG MO SYANG SIRAAN!"
"Hindi ko sya sinisiraan, nagsasabi lang ako ng totoo. Ayokong manloko sya at
manakit ng kapwa ang bestfriend kong babae at ayokong masaktan ang bestfriend
kong lalaki. Parehas ko kayong mahal pero ikaw alam mo ba, mahal kita hindi lang
bilang bestfriend?"
"WALA AKONG PAKELAM! GET LOST!"

19. Yun na yun, wala daw syang pakelam sa nararamdaman ko. Get lost daw. Get lost...
Kung pede lang ngang mawala na lang ako edi nawala na ako... hindi ko na
matagalan ito eh, lalo na nang sya na mismo ang nakakita ng panlolokong ginagawa
sa kanya ng taong mahal nya.
"Ano?! Susumbatan mo ako? O sige ikaw ng tama! Tama ka nga niloloko nya ako!
Nagmukha akong tanga lang! Sige sumbutan mo ako! Sabihan mo akong tanga!!!"
Umiiyak sya nun. niyakap ko sya, "Tama na. Ako yung nasasaktan pag nakikita
kitang ganyan."
Alam mo yung masakit? Umiiyak sya.
Iisa lang ibig sabihin nun, umiiyak sya kasi mahal nya talaga ang bestfriend
kong babae. Nasasaktan talaga sya, pruweba ang mga luha nya.
"Bakit ka kasi nagmamahal ng taong hindi ka naman mahal!!!" sumbat ko sa kanya
pero sinusumbat ko rin ito sa sarili ko kasi parehas lang naman kaming
nagmamahal sa taong hindi naman kayang suklian ang mga nararamdaman namin.
"Bakit, bawal ba?" humarap sya sakin, "Bawal bang magmahal ng taong hindi ka
mahal?!"
"Hindi bawal," napayuko ako, "Masakit."
"Ang gusto ko lang naman mahalin nya ako..."
"Ang gusto ko lang naman... ako na lang ang mahalin mo." tinitigan nya muna ako
sandali bago sya muling nakaimik.
"Hindi kita mahal, sya ang mahal ko."
Napangiti na lang ako ng mapait, "Alam ko naman eh. Nagbabaka sakali lang."
Yung storya namin ng bestfriend kong lalaki, hindi katulad ng mga love stories
na nababasa sa fictions o napapanuod sa drama series sa tv... hindi eh, hindi
ako yung leading lady sa storya nya. Hindi kami ang love team. Hindi kami ang
para sa isa't isa. Kahit anong pilit ko, sa huli... sya at sya pa rin ang mahal
nya. Ako? Hanggang kaibigan lang talaga ako. Hanggang dun lang, dead end. Finish
line. Wala na. Bawal na akong lumagpas pa dun.

20. Badtrip, tumutulo nanaman mga luha ko. Tutusukin ko na mga mata ko ee,
nakakaasar na. Sinabi ko ng tumigil sa pag-iyak, eto pa rin iyak ng iyak.
Kung itatanong nyo kung kamusta na "sya"?
Ayun... nagpapakatanga pa rin sa bestfriend kong babae na kahit kelan hindi
masuklian ang nararamdaman nya.
Ako na lang kasi eh, antanga mo! Gago ka, sabi kong AKO NA LANG EH! Ang tigas ng
ulo mo, ayaw mo makinig sakin. Kung ako na lang edi sana hindi ka
nagpapakatanga? Sana hindi rin ako parang tanga?
Kung ako na lang... edi sana wala ng iiyak? Wala ng malulungkot? Edi sana
parehas tayong masaya.
Asa.
Hindi mo naman ako mapapansin, ah mali... hindi mo naman ako pinapansin. :(
Hanggang sa lumaki kaming tatlo, nakagraduate, nagkaroon ng mga trabaho...
at dumating yung araw na yun...
Nagkasakit sa puso ang bestfriend kong babae. Kelangan nya ng heart donor pero
walang mahanap na donor...
Critical condition na sya.
Pero hanggang sa huli, nasa tabi ka pa rin nya at umiiyak.
Mahal na mahal mo talaga sya noh?

21. Buti pa sya.
Asar lang talaga kasi hindi ka nya minamahal tulad ng pagmamahal mo.
Ganto na lang,
kanya na lang ang puso ko...
para mahalin ka na rin nya sa wakas.
So you won't wait in vain anymore.
Para masuklian na rin ang nararamdaman mo, para mahalin ka na rin ng mahal mo.
Yung puso ko lang naman ang nagmamahal sayo eh...
Ibibigay ko na lang sa kanya para may pakinabang.
Nilabas ko yung "donor card" na hiningi ko sa ospital, sinulatan at pinirmahan
ito.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish to donate my organs and tissues. I wish to give:
- MY HEART
Donor Signature: XXXXXX
Date: September 4, 2011
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

22. Matapos pirmahan, nilagay ko ito sa bulsa ng aking pantalon at tumalon mula sa
building.
Mamahalin ka na nya.
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