SlideShare una empresa de Scribd logo
1 de 5
Descargar para leer sin conexión
Gossipmongers: Fight Back Against Them

                                By Chelse Benham

“Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.” – Spanish Proverb

“Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of
others.” – Random House College Dictionary. It is a favorite past time for many
people. Although it can provide information about company changes and help
identify workplace dynamics, much of gossip is used to serve the gossiper’s
personal agenda. That agenda may be aimed at targeting someone who may be
viewed as a threat or different from the rumormonger.

“Some gossip can be informative and spread through what are known as
‘networks’ and there may be truth in the gossip,” said Dr. Rafael Balderrama,
lecturer of sociology in the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences at The
University of Texas-Pan American. “However, the problem with gossip is that the
information is often distorted in the retelling of it. For a person to believe in the
information being told to him depends on how much they trust and believe the
source as credible and reliable. Consider their motivations for saying what they
are saying.”

J. Talbott, a labor attorney, consultant and founder of laborrelations.org writes in
his article, “Tips on Handling Office Gossip,” that “gossip is a universal human
behavior that we all engage in and which serves a functional purpose for
employees and organizations. Many people spend more time with their work
colleagues than with their own families and that idle gossip sometimes helps to
cement the bonds of collegiality.” However, Talbott warns negative gossip can be
incredibly destructive and even lead to lawsuits. He suggests the following when
handling workplace gossip:

1. Know that malicious or excessive gossip disrupts production, lowers morale
and often targets individual employees. In fact, gossip can cross the line into
harassment or mobbing behaviors, and can become a health and safety or
human rights issue.

2. Understand that gossip can open employers up to liability. Employees who
are targets of office gossip may sue, claiming constructive dismissal for not being
adequately protected or they may launch human rights complaints if their race,
gender, religion or another immutable personal characteristic has made them the
target of gossip.

3. Fill the void by communicating. Managers must set aside time to regularly
deal with employees as a group or one-on-one to stop the gossip mill spinning.

4.   Inform employees that malicious gossip is not tolerated. For some employers
this may mean going as far as introducing a policy, but for others it may suffice to
have management pass on this expectation through meetings, counseling or
during annual reviews. Employees who are spreading malicious gossip should be
warned that their behavior is not acceptable and may ultimately lead to
termination.

5. Build a culture that is supportive and cooperative. Where mutual respect is
modeled by managers and rewarded by promotions and commendations an
organization is less likely to have to cope with the severity of malicious gossip.

6. Deal with rumors immediately. Create sessions with employees to clear the
air. The more senior the management representative at these meetings, the
more likely his or her pronouncements will squelch false or malicious rumors.

7. Remind employees that their e-mail communications are not private and may
be recorded even after the delete button has been hit. This is standard practice
now in many computer use policies, but it also reinforces the expectation that e-
mail is not a medium in which to gossip about fellow employees.

8. Keep employees busy with meaningful work. Idle hands are the devil’s
forked tongue.

R.J. Ignelzi in his article, “Beware of Gossip That Knows No Bounds” in the April
6, 2003 edition of San Diego Union Tribune, reported research supporting the
positive nature of gossip. A study at the Research Centre for Economic Learning
and Social Evolution at University College London says tongue wagging helps
people bond and creates strong social networks.

Dr. Phillip Gay, sociology professor at San Diego State University, said in the
article, "If gossip is not pernicious, it serves a valuable function. People get to
know each other through gossip. They can express their values and opinions.
Gossip is a way of introducing yourself to other people."

However, there is a real limit to good gossip and identifying the line between
“good vs. bad” gossip can be determined. If you participate in gossip refer to the
following guidelines, from the article, to refrain from bad gossip. They are:

   •   Don't spread gossip that you know to be false.
   •   If you can't verify a rumor and/or you know it's hurtful, don't pass it along.
   •   It's unethical to spread negative gossip to intentionally damage someone.
   •   While it's tempting to exaggerate or embellish the tale you're passing
       along, try not to make up details or ignore important ones.
   •   Gossip should never be used to determine someone's character or human
       worth. Draw conclusions of others from your own interactions with them.
   •   Think through the implications of your gossip before you let it spread.
   •   Don't talk about someone's illness or health.
•    Gossiping about someone's sexual orientation is unacceptable.
   •    If unsure whether a piece of gossip is appropriate to pass on, ask yourself
        if you could say it to the person it's about.
   •    If you think someone is not aware they're the target of gossip, let them
        know.
   •    If you're a victim of gossip, confront it directly and immediately.

If you are an employee who’s the target of gossip and “bad politics” you can fight
back. According to Dr. Robert F. Sarmiento, licensed psychologist and founder of
the Career Testing Center Web site, there are specific strategies you can use. A
few are:

    •   Keep it professional at all times.
    •   Take your complaint to your supervisor.
    •   Don’t make enemies. Don’t burn bridges.
    •   Don’t make others look bad and don’t criticize others.
    •   Stay focused on your task. Take on challenges, serve on committees and
        join organizations.
    •   Help others get what they want.
    •   Establish positive affiliations with as many people as possible by finding
        common ground with others.
    •   Create win/win solutions.
    •   Cultivate a professional, presentable and positive image. Be pleasant,
        laugh and smile.
    •   Seek friendships outside the office.
    •   Be assertive and tough when required.
    •   Don’t oversell yourself. Be natural.
    •   Do what you say you are going to do.
    •   Selectively self-disclose and don’t discuss personal problems.
    •   Don’t assume anything will stay secret.

Remembering that nothing is really a secret is the most important rule of them all.
Talk through the “grapevine,” better known as gossip, surfaces from the lack of
private conversations staying private. Gossip can be used to circulate mistruths,
usurp projects and destroy office morale by maligning and ostracizing people.

According to Chuck Martin, syndicated columnist, CEO of Net Future Institute
Research and author of “Managing for the Short Term,” he identifies how gossip
is cultivated in the workplace at his Web site www.netfutureinstitute.com

According to Martin, negative or bad gossip is provoked by malcontents, petty
jealousies, insecure and negative people unhappy with their own careers who
make themselves feel better by criticizing others and their work environments.
Martin cautions that negative gossip that targets and seeks to hurt someone is
the most dangerous type of gossip.
He points out that, among those who gossip, they justify spreading gossip by
cloaking it as “important information” needed to be shared with co-conspirators to
stay informed of political milieu. But, by its own definition, gossip is often skewed
in the retelling to reflect the gossiper’s own perspective. It is embellished and
filled with emotion that can heighten innocent miscommunications and inflame
situations into emotional imbroglios.

According to Martin, gossip is by far the most common social weapon. Ironically,
he contends, that even people who engage in gossip (perhaps out of habit) know
it’s a bad thing. Although some types of gossip may help a person's reputation,
the overwhelming majority of the "shock talk" people indulge in is harmful and
mean spirited. To add to the sinister nature of this tactic, it is done behind the
target's back. Martin provides some additional advice for handling gossip if you
are the target of it. Here are some helpful tips:

   •   “Let your actions speak louder than the words spoken about you.” Work
       hard and avoid participating in gossip.
   •   Create relationships with many different people. The best way to combat
       negative attacks is to rise above. Carry-on and deal with people positively.
       Your goal is to mitigate damages by being the best person you can be.
   •   Don’t associate with people who gossip. Ignore being drawn into gossip.
   •   Remember that no matter what you say or do some people are going to
       believe the rumors, people are going to spread the rumors and rumors will
       continue to be used as a social weapon to hurt others.
   •   Don't confront the person who spreads the gossip about you in a public
       place or with an angry tone in your voice. Causing a scene or going on the
       offensive will only make them feel they are justified in spreading venom. If
       you do want to confront the rumormonger, wait until you are calm and the
       initial shock has passed.
   •   Rather than freaking out and running around trying to set the record
       straight, play it cool! When it gets back to you laugh lightly and say
       something like, “Is THAT what's going around about me? I wonder why
       somebody would go to so much trouble to spread a lie?” This does two
       things; it shows others that you have nothing to hide because you are not
       acting defensively and it puts the burden of reliability back on the gossip
       spreader by making others wonder if there is a hidden agenda.
   •   Spread the gossip yourself, "Have you heard what so-and-so is saying
       about me? What a joke!" and do it with a smile. Always sound calm and
       confused, never bitter and resentful.
   •   Calm is key! Always be calm. If you freak out in protest it looks like you
       have something to hide. Even if you do have something to hide, playing it
       cool is always best.
   •   Don't retaliate with your own gossip.

The last point is an important one. As hurtful as it may be to find yourself the
target of gossip don’t turn around and retaliate by spreading gossip of your own.
That makes you a hypocrite and doesn’t solve the problem. This is not one of
those situations where “fighting fire with fire” will do anything more than burn you.


”I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” –
Booker T. Washington (1856-1915), Civil Rights/Human Rights Activist and
Author

Más contenido relacionado

La actualidad más candente

Gotham City Council of Communication
Gotham City Council of CommunicationGotham City Council of Communication
Gotham City Council of Communicationfolsomb2013
 
Guide giving-effective-feedback-across-cultures
Guide giving-effective-feedback-across-culturesGuide giving-effective-feedback-across-cultures
Guide giving-effective-feedback-across-culturesarbristyseo
 
(MBASkills.IN) How to Win Friends and Influence People
(MBASkills.IN) How to Win Friends and Influence People(MBASkills.IN) How to Win Friends and Influence People
(MBASkills.IN) How to Win Friends and Influence PeopleSameer Mathur
 
Intuition Survival Signals
Intuition Survival SignalsIntuition Survival Signals
Intuition Survival Signalsmojo_5
 
Win Friends & Influence People Real Estate
Win Friends & Influence People Real EstateWin Friends & Influence People Real Estate
Win Friends & Influence People Real EstateStacey Alcorn
 
Influence skills. andrew urich
Influence skills. andrew urichInfluence skills. andrew urich
Influence skills. andrew urichProfessorUrich
 
Don't Skirt Using Humor at Work: Gender Differences in Workplace Humor and Ho...
Don't Skirt Using Humor at Work: Gender Differences in Workplace Humor and Ho...Don't Skirt Using Humor at Work: Gender Differences in Workplace Humor and Ho...
Don't Skirt Using Humor at Work: Gender Differences in Workplace Humor and Ho...Society of Women Engineers
 
Go there..customised summary by chakri of what got you here won't get you there
Go there..customised summary by chakri of what got you here won't get you thereGo there..customised summary by chakri of what got you here won't get you there
Go there..customised summary by chakri of what got you here won't get you thereChakrapani K V (Chakri)
 
How a good person can really win( revised version of best selling 'When you ...
How a good person can really win( revised version of  best selling 'When you ...How a good person can really win( revised version of  best selling 'When you ...
How a good person can really win( revised version of best selling 'When you ...PAVAN CHOUDARY
 
How to win friends and influence people
How to win friends and influence peopleHow to win friends and influence people
How to win friends and influence peoplelionel_milan
 
Future of Diversity and Inclusion (draft) SHRM 2014
Future of Diversity and Inclusion (draft) SHRM 2014Future of Diversity and Inclusion (draft) SHRM 2014
Future of Diversity and Inclusion (draft) SHRM 2014Joe Gerstandt
 
Using Friends Hinders Your Job Search Prospects
Using Friends Hinders Your Job Search ProspectsUsing Friends Hinders Your Job Search Prospects
Using Friends Hinders Your Job Search ProspectsEmployment Crossing
 
Breaking Through to Bloggers
Breaking Through to BloggersBreaking Through to Bloggers
Breaking Through to BloggersPurdue University
 

La actualidad más candente (20)

Gotham City Council of Communication
Gotham City Council of CommunicationGotham City Council of Communication
Gotham City Council of Communication
 
Guide giving-effective-feedback-across-cultures
Guide giving-effective-feedback-across-culturesGuide giving-effective-feedback-across-cultures
Guide giving-effective-feedback-across-cultures
 
(MBASkills.IN) How to Win Friends and Influence People
(MBASkills.IN) How to Win Friends and Influence People(MBASkills.IN) How to Win Friends and Influence People
(MBASkills.IN) How to Win Friends and Influence People
 
Becoming Beyond Reproach
Becoming Beyond ReproachBecoming Beyond Reproach
Becoming Beyond Reproach
 
Intuition Survival Signals
Intuition Survival SignalsIntuition Survival Signals
Intuition Survival Signals
 
Influence Skillls
Influence SkilllsInfluence Skillls
Influence Skillls
 
Win Friends & Influence People Real Estate
Win Friends & Influence People Real EstateWin Friends & Influence People Real Estate
Win Friends & Influence People Real Estate
 
Influence skills. andrew urich
Influence skills. andrew urichInfluence skills. andrew urich
Influence skills. andrew urich
 
Don't Skirt Using Humor at Work: Gender Differences in Workplace Humor and Ho...
Don't Skirt Using Humor at Work: Gender Differences in Workplace Humor and Ho...Don't Skirt Using Humor at Work: Gender Differences in Workplace Humor and Ho...
Don't Skirt Using Humor at Work: Gender Differences in Workplace Humor and Ho...
 
Go there..customised summary by chakri of what got you here won't get you there
Go there..customised summary by chakri of what got you here won't get you thereGo there..customised summary by chakri of what got you here won't get you there
Go there..customised summary by chakri of what got you here won't get you there
 
Ethical issues
Ethical issuesEthical issues
Ethical issues
 
How a good person can really win( revised version of best selling 'When you ...
How a good person can really win( revised version of  best selling 'When you ...How a good person can really win( revised version of  best selling 'When you ...
How a good person can really win( revised version of best selling 'When you ...
 
Chesapeake Influence
Chesapeake InfluenceChesapeake Influence
Chesapeake Influence
 
How to win friends and influence people
How to win friends and influence peopleHow to win friends and influence people
How to win friends and influence people
 
Future of Diversity and Inclusion (draft) SHRM 2014
Future of Diversity and Inclusion (draft) SHRM 2014Future of Diversity and Inclusion (draft) SHRM 2014
Future of Diversity and Inclusion (draft) SHRM 2014
 
Difficult Conversations
Difficult ConversationsDifficult Conversations
Difficult Conversations
 
Using Friends Hinders Your Job Search Prospects
Using Friends Hinders Your Job Search ProspectsUsing Friends Hinders Your Job Search Prospects
Using Friends Hinders Your Job Search Prospects
 
ArtsLab SF
ArtsLab SF ArtsLab SF
ArtsLab SF
 
Communication and Confidence for Women
Communication and Confidence for WomenCommunication and Confidence for Women
Communication and Confidence for Women
 
Breaking Through to Bloggers
Breaking Through to BloggersBreaking Through to Bloggers
Breaking Through to Bloggers
 

Similar a Gossipmongers fight back against them

Winning office politics
Winning office politicsWinning office politics
Winning office politicsChelse Benham
 
Impact your impression
Impact your impressionImpact your impression
Impact your impressionguest139968
 
Impact Your Impression
Impact Your ImpressionImpact Your Impression
Impact Your ImpressionChelse Benham
 
Impact your impression
Impact your impressionImpact your impression
Impact your impressionChelse Benham
 
Gossip in the workplace
Gossip in the workplaceGossip in the workplace
Gossip in the workplaceMusa Ghazali
 
COVID-19: Heading Off Individual and Team Disruption
COVID-19: Heading Off Individual and Team DisruptionCOVID-19: Heading Off Individual and Team Disruption
COVID-19: Heading Off Individual and Team DisruptionPaul Falcone
 
Classroom to real scenario
Classroom to real scenarioClassroom to real scenario
Classroom to real scenarioDr.Nidhi pandey
 
Bullys Toppling The Tyrants
Bullys   Toppling The TyrantsBullys   Toppling The Tyrants
Bullys Toppling The Tyrantsdonnahickey
 
Let's Give Them Something to Talk About
Let's Give Them Something to Talk AboutLet's Give Them Something to Talk About
Let's Give Them Something to Talk AboutMande White-Pearl
 
Network marketing
Network marketing Network marketing
Network marketing AlonBz2
 
Network marketing and prospecting
Network marketing and prospectingNetwork marketing and prospecting
Network marketing and prospectingNeet Patel
 
7 Conversation Secrets
7 Conversation Secrets7 Conversation Secrets
7 Conversation SecretsNadal Ben
 
10 facts about the adult bullying mindset
10 facts about the adult bullying mindset10 facts about the adult bullying mindset
10 facts about the adult bullying mindsetNathan Segal
 
Blog 3
Blog 3Blog 3
Blog 3Al .
 
5 ways to nail the group discussion round
5 ways to nail the group discussion round5 ways to nail the group discussion round
5 ways to nail the group discussion roundSambit Biswal
 

Similar a Gossipmongers fight back against them (20)

Winning office politics
Winning office politicsWinning office politics
Winning office politics
 
Impact your impression
Impact your impressionImpact your impression
Impact your impression
 
Impact Your Impression
Impact Your ImpressionImpact Your Impression
Impact Your Impression
 
Impact your impression
Impact your impressionImpact your impression
Impact your impression
 
Black Lives Matter Persuasive Speech
Black Lives Matter Persuasive SpeechBlack Lives Matter Persuasive Speech
Black Lives Matter Persuasive Speech
 
Gossip in the workplace
Gossip in the workplaceGossip in the workplace
Gossip in the workplace
 
COVID-19: Heading Off Individual and Team Disruption
COVID-19: Heading Off Individual and Team DisruptionCOVID-19: Heading Off Individual and Team Disruption
COVID-19: Heading Off Individual and Team Disruption
 
Classroom to real scenario
Classroom to real scenarioClassroom to real scenario
Classroom to real scenario
 
Influencing skills infographic
Influencing skills infographicInfluencing skills infographic
Influencing skills infographic
 
Bullys Toppling The Tyrants
Bullys   Toppling The TyrantsBullys   Toppling The Tyrants
Bullys Toppling The Tyrants
 
How To Deal With Gossip
How To Deal With GossipHow To Deal With Gossip
How To Deal With Gossip
 
Let's Give Them Something to Talk About
Let's Give Them Something to Talk AboutLet's Give Them Something to Talk About
Let's Give Them Something to Talk About
 
Copywriting Champion.pdf
Copywriting Champion.pdfCopywriting Champion.pdf
Copywriting Champion.pdf
 
Network marketing
Network marketing Network marketing
Network marketing
 
Network marketing and prospecting
Network marketing and prospectingNetwork marketing and prospecting
Network marketing and prospecting
 
7 Conversation Secrets
7 Conversation Secrets7 Conversation Secrets
7 Conversation Secrets
 
10 facts about the adult bullying mindset
10 facts about the adult bullying mindset10 facts about the adult bullying mindset
10 facts about the adult bullying mindset
 
CAW Business Matters & Directories 2018
CAW Business Matters & Directories 2018CAW Business Matters & Directories 2018
CAW Business Matters & Directories 2018
 
Blog 3
Blog 3Blog 3
Blog 3
 
5 ways to nail the group discussion round
5 ways to nail the group discussion round5 ways to nail the group discussion round
5 ways to nail the group discussion round
 

Más de Chelse Benham

Observation lab For Stanford Creativity Class
Observation lab For Stanford Creativity ClassObservation lab For Stanford Creativity Class
Observation lab For Stanford Creativity ClassChelse Benham
 
Media release Get found! Workshop
Media release   Get found! WorkshopMedia release   Get found! Workshop
Media release Get found! WorkshopChelse Benham
 
Mastering web marketing media release
Mastering web marketing media releaseMastering web marketing media release
Mastering web marketing media releaseChelse Benham
 
Epic educational programming interactive consortium
Epic educational programming interactive consortiumEpic educational programming interactive consortium
Epic educational programming interactive consortiumChelse Benham
 
The office of social media aids awareness day media stunt project communicati...
The office of social media aids awareness day media stunt project communicati...The office of social media aids awareness day media stunt project communicati...
The office of social media aids awareness day media stunt project communicati...Chelse Benham
 
More campaign 120609
More campaign 120609More campaign 120609
More campaign 120609Chelse Benham
 
Mc allen branding campaign
Mc allen branding campaignMc allen branding campaign
Mc allen branding campaignChelse Benham
 
Television Program Development - Charting New Paths
Television Program Development - Charting New PathsTelevision Program Development - Charting New Paths
Television Program Development - Charting New PathsChelse Benham
 
Sentient synthetic systen and the consciousness byproduct as examined in mind...
Sentient synthetic systen and the consciousness byproduct as examined in mind...Sentient synthetic systen and the consciousness byproduct as examined in mind...
Sentient synthetic systen and the consciousness byproduct as examined in mind...Chelse Benham
 
The coffee connection
The coffee connectionThe coffee connection
The coffee connectionChelse Benham
 
Risk taking to get ahead
Risk taking to get aheadRisk taking to get ahead
Risk taking to get aheadChelse Benham
 
Lead a project to success
Lead a project to successLead a project to success
Lead a project to successChelse Benham
 
Creating a proven track record
Creating a proven track recordCreating a proven track record
Creating a proven track recordChelse Benham
 
Understanding the pygmalion effect
Understanding the pygmalion effectUnderstanding the pygmalion effect
Understanding the pygmalion effectChelse Benham
 
The self control quotient
The self control quotientThe self control quotient
The self control quotientChelse Benham
 
Feedback from the frontlines
Feedback from the frontlinesFeedback from the frontlines
Feedback from the frontlinesChelse Benham
 
Workplace wieght is your office making you fat
Workplace wieght is your office making you fatWorkplace wieght is your office making you fat
Workplace wieght is your office making you fatChelse Benham
 
Spark change in the workplace
Spark change in the workplaceSpark change in the workplace
Spark change in the workplaceChelse Benham
 
Salary do you know what you are worth
Salary do you know what you are worthSalary do you know what you are worth
Salary do you know what you are worthChelse Benham
 
Office politics never die
Office politics never dieOffice politics never die
Office politics never dieChelse Benham
 

Más de Chelse Benham (20)

Observation lab For Stanford Creativity Class
Observation lab For Stanford Creativity ClassObservation lab For Stanford Creativity Class
Observation lab For Stanford Creativity Class
 
Media release Get found! Workshop
Media release   Get found! WorkshopMedia release   Get found! Workshop
Media release Get found! Workshop
 
Mastering web marketing media release
Mastering web marketing media releaseMastering web marketing media release
Mastering web marketing media release
 
Epic educational programming interactive consortium
Epic educational programming interactive consortiumEpic educational programming interactive consortium
Epic educational programming interactive consortium
 
The office of social media aids awareness day media stunt project communicati...
The office of social media aids awareness day media stunt project communicati...The office of social media aids awareness day media stunt project communicati...
The office of social media aids awareness day media stunt project communicati...
 
More campaign 120609
More campaign 120609More campaign 120609
More campaign 120609
 
Mc allen branding campaign
Mc allen branding campaignMc allen branding campaign
Mc allen branding campaign
 
Television Program Development - Charting New Paths
Television Program Development - Charting New PathsTelevision Program Development - Charting New Paths
Television Program Development - Charting New Paths
 
Sentient synthetic systen and the consciousness byproduct as examined in mind...
Sentient synthetic systen and the consciousness byproduct as examined in mind...Sentient synthetic systen and the consciousness byproduct as examined in mind...
Sentient synthetic systen and the consciousness byproduct as examined in mind...
 
The coffee connection
The coffee connectionThe coffee connection
The coffee connection
 
Risk taking to get ahead
Risk taking to get aheadRisk taking to get ahead
Risk taking to get ahead
 
Lead a project to success
Lead a project to successLead a project to success
Lead a project to success
 
Creating a proven track record
Creating a proven track recordCreating a proven track record
Creating a proven track record
 
Understanding the pygmalion effect
Understanding the pygmalion effectUnderstanding the pygmalion effect
Understanding the pygmalion effect
 
The self control quotient
The self control quotientThe self control quotient
The self control quotient
 
Feedback from the frontlines
Feedback from the frontlinesFeedback from the frontlines
Feedback from the frontlines
 
Workplace wieght is your office making you fat
Workplace wieght is your office making you fatWorkplace wieght is your office making you fat
Workplace wieght is your office making you fat
 
Spark change in the workplace
Spark change in the workplaceSpark change in the workplace
Spark change in the workplace
 
Salary do you know what you are worth
Salary do you know what you are worthSalary do you know what you are worth
Salary do you know what you are worth
 
Office politics never die
Office politics never dieOffice politics never die
Office politics never die
 

Último

Moaaz Hassan El-Shayeb - Projects Portfolio
Moaaz Hassan El-Shayeb - Projects PortfolioMoaaz Hassan El-Shayeb - Projects Portfolio
Moaaz Hassan El-Shayeb - Projects Portfoliomoaaz el-shayeb
 
Nashon Holloway - Media/Press Kit - Priv
Nashon Holloway - Media/Press Kit - PrivNashon Holloway - Media/Press Kit - Priv
Nashon Holloway - Media/Press Kit - PrivNashonHolloway
 
How to Host a Successful Webinar for Success?
How to Host a Successful Webinar for Success?How to Host a Successful Webinar for Success?
How to Host a Successful Webinar for Success?StrengthsTheatre
 
Chapter-1 IATA, UFTAA, ICAO, FAA, CAA, ATAB, Conventions
Chapter-1 IATA, UFTAA, ICAO, FAA, CAA, ATAB, ConventionsChapter-1 IATA, UFTAA, ICAO, FAA, CAA, ATAB, Conventions
Chapter-1 IATA, UFTAA, ICAO, FAA, CAA, ATAB, ConventionsMd Shaifullar Rabbi
 
Blockchain_TezosDeveloperCommunitySNSCE.pdf
Blockchain_TezosDeveloperCommunitySNSCE.pdfBlockchain_TezosDeveloperCommunitySNSCE.pdf
Blockchain_TezosDeveloperCommunitySNSCE.pdfVISHNURAJSSNSCEAD
 
Fireman Resume Strikuingly Text............................
Fireman Resume Strikuingly Text............................Fireman Resume Strikuingly Text............................
Fireman Resume Strikuingly Text............................calvinjamesmappala
 
FAHAD HASSAN NOOR || UCP Business School Data Analytics Head Recommended | MB...
FAHAD HASSAN NOOR || UCP Business School Data Analytics Head Recommended | MB...FAHAD HASSAN NOOR || UCP Business School Data Analytics Head Recommended | MB...
FAHAD HASSAN NOOR || UCP Business School Data Analytics Head Recommended | MB...FaHaD .H. NooR
 
10 Things That Will Shape the Future of Education.pdf
10 Things That Will Shape the Future of Education.pdf10 Things That Will Shape the Future of Education.pdf
10 Things That Will Shape the Future of Education.pdfEducationView
 
kids gpaddfghtggvgghhhuuuuuhhhgggggy.pptx
kids gpaddfghtggvgghhhuuuuuhhhgggggy.pptxkids gpaddfghtggvgghhhuuuuuhhhgggggy.pptx
kids gpaddfghtggvgghhhuuuuuhhhgggggy.pptxJagrutiSononee
 
Chapter-4 Introduction to Global Distributions System and Computerized Reserv...
Chapter-4 Introduction to Global Distributions System and Computerized Reserv...Chapter-4 Introduction to Global Distributions System and Computerized Reserv...
Chapter-4 Introduction to Global Distributions System and Computerized Reserv...Md Shaifullar Rabbi
 
STORY OF SUSAN & JUDY - CEREBRAL PALSY.pptx
STORY OF SUSAN & JUDY - CEREBRAL PALSY.pptxSTORY OF SUSAN & JUDY - CEREBRAL PALSY.pptx
STORY OF SUSAN & JUDY - CEREBRAL PALSY.pptxsheenam bansal
 
wealth_spend_bharatpeVerse_Analysis .pptx
wealth_spend_bharatpeVerse_Analysis .pptxwealth_spend_bharatpeVerse_Analysis .pptx
wealth_spend_bharatpeVerse_Analysis .pptxAnuragBhakuni4
 
asdfasdiofujasloidfoia nslkflsdkaf jljffs
asdfasdiofujasloidfoia nslkflsdkaf jljffsasdfasdiofujasloidfoia nslkflsdkaf jljffs
asdfasdiofujasloidfoia nslkflsdkaf jljffsJulia Kaye
 
reStartEvents March 28th TS/SCI & Above Employer Directory.pdf
reStartEvents March 28th TS/SCI & Above Employer Directory.pdfreStartEvents March 28th TS/SCI & Above Employer Directory.pdf
reStartEvents March 28th TS/SCI & Above Employer Directory.pdfKen Fuller
 
Audhina Nur Afifah Resume & Portofolio_2024.pdf
Audhina Nur Afifah Resume & Portofolio_2024.pdfAudhina Nur Afifah Resume & Portofolio_2024.pdf
Audhina Nur Afifah Resume & Portofolio_2024.pdfaudhinafh1
 
ASDFSDFASDFASDFASDFOUIASHDFOIASUD FOIJSADO;IFJOISADJF
ASDFSDFASDFASDFASDFOUIASHDFOIASUD FOIJSADO;IFJOISADJFASDFSDFASDFASDFASDFOUIASHDFOIASUD FOIJSADO;IFJOISADJF
ASDFSDFASDFASDFASDFOUIASHDFOIASUD FOIJSADO;IFJOISADJFJulia Kaye
 
127. Reviewer Certificate in BP International
127. Reviewer Certificate in BP International127. Reviewer Certificate in BP International
127. Reviewer Certificate in BP InternationalManu Mitra
 

Último (17)

Moaaz Hassan El-Shayeb - Projects Portfolio
Moaaz Hassan El-Shayeb - Projects PortfolioMoaaz Hassan El-Shayeb - Projects Portfolio
Moaaz Hassan El-Shayeb - Projects Portfolio
 
Nashon Holloway - Media/Press Kit - Priv
Nashon Holloway - Media/Press Kit - PrivNashon Holloway - Media/Press Kit - Priv
Nashon Holloway - Media/Press Kit - Priv
 
How to Host a Successful Webinar for Success?
How to Host a Successful Webinar for Success?How to Host a Successful Webinar for Success?
How to Host a Successful Webinar for Success?
 
Chapter-1 IATA, UFTAA, ICAO, FAA, CAA, ATAB, Conventions
Chapter-1 IATA, UFTAA, ICAO, FAA, CAA, ATAB, ConventionsChapter-1 IATA, UFTAA, ICAO, FAA, CAA, ATAB, Conventions
Chapter-1 IATA, UFTAA, ICAO, FAA, CAA, ATAB, Conventions
 
Blockchain_TezosDeveloperCommunitySNSCE.pdf
Blockchain_TezosDeveloperCommunitySNSCE.pdfBlockchain_TezosDeveloperCommunitySNSCE.pdf
Blockchain_TezosDeveloperCommunitySNSCE.pdf
 
Fireman Resume Strikuingly Text............................
Fireman Resume Strikuingly Text............................Fireman Resume Strikuingly Text............................
Fireman Resume Strikuingly Text............................
 
FAHAD HASSAN NOOR || UCP Business School Data Analytics Head Recommended | MB...
FAHAD HASSAN NOOR || UCP Business School Data Analytics Head Recommended | MB...FAHAD HASSAN NOOR || UCP Business School Data Analytics Head Recommended | MB...
FAHAD HASSAN NOOR || UCP Business School Data Analytics Head Recommended | MB...
 
10 Things That Will Shape the Future of Education.pdf
10 Things That Will Shape the Future of Education.pdf10 Things That Will Shape the Future of Education.pdf
10 Things That Will Shape the Future of Education.pdf
 
kids gpaddfghtggvgghhhuuuuuhhhgggggy.pptx
kids gpaddfghtggvgghhhuuuuuhhhgggggy.pptxkids gpaddfghtggvgghhhuuuuuhhhgggggy.pptx
kids gpaddfghtggvgghhhuuuuuhhhgggggy.pptx
 
Chapter-4 Introduction to Global Distributions System and Computerized Reserv...
Chapter-4 Introduction to Global Distributions System and Computerized Reserv...Chapter-4 Introduction to Global Distributions System and Computerized Reserv...
Chapter-4 Introduction to Global Distributions System and Computerized Reserv...
 
STORY OF SUSAN & JUDY - CEREBRAL PALSY.pptx
STORY OF SUSAN & JUDY - CEREBRAL PALSY.pptxSTORY OF SUSAN & JUDY - CEREBRAL PALSY.pptx
STORY OF SUSAN & JUDY - CEREBRAL PALSY.pptx
 
wealth_spend_bharatpeVerse_Analysis .pptx
wealth_spend_bharatpeVerse_Analysis .pptxwealth_spend_bharatpeVerse_Analysis .pptx
wealth_spend_bharatpeVerse_Analysis .pptx
 
asdfasdiofujasloidfoia nslkflsdkaf jljffs
asdfasdiofujasloidfoia nslkflsdkaf jljffsasdfasdiofujasloidfoia nslkflsdkaf jljffs
asdfasdiofujasloidfoia nslkflsdkaf jljffs
 
reStartEvents March 28th TS/SCI & Above Employer Directory.pdf
reStartEvents March 28th TS/SCI & Above Employer Directory.pdfreStartEvents March 28th TS/SCI & Above Employer Directory.pdf
reStartEvents March 28th TS/SCI & Above Employer Directory.pdf
 
Audhina Nur Afifah Resume & Portofolio_2024.pdf
Audhina Nur Afifah Resume & Portofolio_2024.pdfAudhina Nur Afifah Resume & Portofolio_2024.pdf
Audhina Nur Afifah Resume & Portofolio_2024.pdf
 
ASDFSDFASDFASDFASDFOUIASHDFOIASUD FOIJSADO;IFJOISADJF
ASDFSDFASDFASDFASDFOUIASHDFOIASUD FOIJSADO;IFJOISADJFASDFSDFASDFASDFASDFOUIASHDFOIASUD FOIJSADO;IFJOISADJF
ASDFSDFASDFASDFASDFOUIASHDFOIASUD FOIJSADO;IFJOISADJF
 
127. Reviewer Certificate in BP International
127. Reviewer Certificate in BP International127. Reviewer Certificate in BP International
127. Reviewer Certificate in BP International
 

Gossipmongers fight back against them

  • 1. Gossipmongers: Fight Back Against Them By Chelse Benham “Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.” – Spanish Proverb “Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.” – Random House College Dictionary. It is a favorite past time for many people. Although it can provide information about company changes and help identify workplace dynamics, much of gossip is used to serve the gossiper’s personal agenda. That agenda may be aimed at targeting someone who may be viewed as a threat or different from the rumormonger. “Some gossip can be informative and spread through what are known as ‘networks’ and there may be truth in the gossip,” said Dr. Rafael Balderrama, lecturer of sociology in the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences at The University of Texas-Pan American. “However, the problem with gossip is that the information is often distorted in the retelling of it. For a person to believe in the information being told to him depends on how much they trust and believe the source as credible and reliable. Consider their motivations for saying what they are saying.” J. Talbott, a labor attorney, consultant and founder of laborrelations.org writes in his article, “Tips on Handling Office Gossip,” that “gossip is a universal human behavior that we all engage in and which serves a functional purpose for employees and organizations. Many people spend more time with their work colleagues than with their own families and that idle gossip sometimes helps to cement the bonds of collegiality.” However, Talbott warns negative gossip can be incredibly destructive and even lead to lawsuits. He suggests the following when handling workplace gossip: 1. Know that malicious or excessive gossip disrupts production, lowers morale and often targets individual employees. In fact, gossip can cross the line into harassment or mobbing behaviors, and can become a health and safety or human rights issue. 2. Understand that gossip can open employers up to liability. Employees who are targets of office gossip may sue, claiming constructive dismissal for not being adequately protected or they may launch human rights complaints if their race, gender, religion or another immutable personal characteristic has made them the target of gossip. 3. Fill the void by communicating. Managers must set aside time to regularly deal with employees as a group or one-on-one to stop the gossip mill spinning. 4. Inform employees that malicious gossip is not tolerated. For some employers
  • 2. this may mean going as far as introducing a policy, but for others it may suffice to have management pass on this expectation through meetings, counseling or during annual reviews. Employees who are spreading malicious gossip should be warned that their behavior is not acceptable and may ultimately lead to termination. 5. Build a culture that is supportive and cooperative. Where mutual respect is modeled by managers and rewarded by promotions and commendations an organization is less likely to have to cope with the severity of malicious gossip. 6. Deal with rumors immediately. Create sessions with employees to clear the air. The more senior the management representative at these meetings, the more likely his or her pronouncements will squelch false or malicious rumors. 7. Remind employees that their e-mail communications are not private and may be recorded even after the delete button has been hit. This is standard practice now in many computer use policies, but it also reinforces the expectation that e- mail is not a medium in which to gossip about fellow employees. 8. Keep employees busy with meaningful work. Idle hands are the devil’s forked tongue. R.J. Ignelzi in his article, “Beware of Gossip That Knows No Bounds” in the April 6, 2003 edition of San Diego Union Tribune, reported research supporting the positive nature of gossip. A study at the Research Centre for Economic Learning and Social Evolution at University College London says tongue wagging helps people bond and creates strong social networks. Dr. Phillip Gay, sociology professor at San Diego State University, said in the article, "If gossip is not pernicious, it serves a valuable function. People get to know each other through gossip. They can express their values and opinions. Gossip is a way of introducing yourself to other people." However, there is a real limit to good gossip and identifying the line between “good vs. bad” gossip can be determined. If you participate in gossip refer to the following guidelines, from the article, to refrain from bad gossip. They are: • Don't spread gossip that you know to be false. • If you can't verify a rumor and/or you know it's hurtful, don't pass it along. • It's unethical to spread negative gossip to intentionally damage someone. • While it's tempting to exaggerate or embellish the tale you're passing along, try not to make up details or ignore important ones. • Gossip should never be used to determine someone's character or human worth. Draw conclusions of others from your own interactions with them. • Think through the implications of your gossip before you let it spread. • Don't talk about someone's illness or health.
  • 3. Gossiping about someone's sexual orientation is unacceptable. • If unsure whether a piece of gossip is appropriate to pass on, ask yourself if you could say it to the person it's about. • If you think someone is not aware they're the target of gossip, let them know. • If you're a victim of gossip, confront it directly and immediately. If you are an employee who’s the target of gossip and “bad politics” you can fight back. According to Dr. Robert F. Sarmiento, licensed psychologist and founder of the Career Testing Center Web site, there are specific strategies you can use. A few are: • Keep it professional at all times. • Take your complaint to your supervisor. • Don’t make enemies. Don’t burn bridges. • Don’t make others look bad and don’t criticize others. • Stay focused on your task. Take on challenges, serve on committees and join organizations. • Help others get what they want. • Establish positive affiliations with as many people as possible by finding common ground with others. • Create win/win solutions. • Cultivate a professional, presentable and positive image. Be pleasant, laugh and smile. • Seek friendships outside the office. • Be assertive and tough when required. • Don’t oversell yourself. Be natural. • Do what you say you are going to do. • Selectively self-disclose and don’t discuss personal problems. • Don’t assume anything will stay secret. Remembering that nothing is really a secret is the most important rule of them all. Talk through the “grapevine,” better known as gossip, surfaces from the lack of private conversations staying private. Gossip can be used to circulate mistruths, usurp projects and destroy office morale by maligning and ostracizing people. According to Chuck Martin, syndicated columnist, CEO of Net Future Institute Research and author of “Managing for the Short Term,” he identifies how gossip is cultivated in the workplace at his Web site www.netfutureinstitute.com According to Martin, negative or bad gossip is provoked by malcontents, petty jealousies, insecure and negative people unhappy with their own careers who make themselves feel better by criticizing others and their work environments. Martin cautions that negative gossip that targets and seeks to hurt someone is the most dangerous type of gossip.
  • 4. He points out that, among those who gossip, they justify spreading gossip by cloaking it as “important information” needed to be shared with co-conspirators to stay informed of political milieu. But, by its own definition, gossip is often skewed in the retelling to reflect the gossiper’s own perspective. It is embellished and filled with emotion that can heighten innocent miscommunications and inflame situations into emotional imbroglios. According to Martin, gossip is by far the most common social weapon. Ironically, he contends, that even people who engage in gossip (perhaps out of habit) know it’s a bad thing. Although some types of gossip may help a person's reputation, the overwhelming majority of the "shock talk" people indulge in is harmful and mean spirited. To add to the sinister nature of this tactic, it is done behind the target's back. Martin provides some additional advice for handling gossip if you are the target of it. Here are some helpful tips: • “Let your actions speak louder than the words spoken about you.” Work hard and avoid participating in gossip. • Create relationships with many different people. The best way to combat negative attacks is to rise above. Carry-on and deal with people positively. Your goal is to mitigate damages by being the best person you can be. • Don’t associate with people who gossip. Ignore being drawn into gossip. • Remember that no matter what you say or do some people are going to believe the rumors, people are going to spread the rumors and rumors will continue to be used as a social weapon to hurt others. • Don't confront the person who spreads the gossip about you in a public place or with an angry tone in your voice. Causing a scene or going on the offensive will only make them feel they are justified in spreading venom. If you do want to confront the rumormonger, wait until you are calm and the initial shock has passed. • Rather than freaking out and running around trying to set the record straight, play it cool! When it gets back to you laugh lightly and say something like, “Is THAT what's going around about me? I wonder why somebody would go to so much trouble to spread a lie?” This does two things; it shows others that you have nothing to hide because you are not acting defensively and it puts the burden of reliability back on the gossip spreader by making others wonder if there is a hidden agenda. • Spread the gossip yourself, "Have you heard what so-and-so is saying about me? What a joke!" and do it with a smile. Always sound calm and confused, never bitter and resentful. • Calm is key! Always be calm. If you freak out in protest it looks like you have something to hide. Even if you do have something to hide, playing it cool is always best. • Don't retaliate with your own gossip. The last point is an important one. As hurtful as it may be to find yourself the target of gossip don’t turn around and retaliate by spreading gossip of your own.
  • 5. That makes you a hypocrite and doesn’t solve the problem. This is not one of those situations where “fighting fire with fire” will do anything more than burn you. ”I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” – Booker T. Washington (1856-1915), Civil Rights/Human Rights Activist and Author