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Our EQ Model

Our model for emotional intelligence consists of 5 factors and several sub-factors that help people master their
emotional reactions so they achieve their life goals. Our model consists of inward and outward components that
influence our actions and reactions.




Our powerful plan for developing emotional intelligence in The EQ Difference helps people at all levels of the
organization blends information from the cognitive and limbic brains. It's filled with workplace examples and practical
suggestions.

Emotional Intelligence: The Next Step in Your Diversity Efforts

At this point in the game, your company has probably done some initial diversity awareness. Perhaps you’re satisfied
with your results and wondering what the next step might be. Or maybe, you’re wondering how you can get the
message to hit closer to home and prove to have lasting and significant results with your workforce. Either way, the
next step lies in profound fundamental shifts in our thinking so that the awareness seeps through to our behavior and
actions. Once this shift occurs, diversity is no longer a program, but rather a way of life.

What can you do to catapult you to this next level of acceptance? In The EQ Difference, Adele Lynn outlines the
steps to greater emotional intelligence. Working with Franky Johnson, Lynn has combined the concepts of emotional
intelligence and related them to diversity. “We believe that this is the next breakthrough in diversity. It challenges
prejudice at the core,” said Lynn. “Prejudice stems from the way that people think and feel. Although some people are
intentionally prejudice, many are prejudice by way of their actions and words, but not their intentions. This process
forces you to challenge your actions and words so you live up to your intentions. Others speak of diversity and
inclusion, but their actions speak exclusion. Emotional intelligences forces alignment between our words about
diversity and inclusion and our intentions.”

Emotional intelligence is your ability to manage yourselves and your relationships with other people so you can live
your intentions. If it is your intention to count yourself among those who are overcoming prejudice, then, these steps
will help. Emotional intelligence demands self-awareness and then using that self-awareness to change how we
think, feel, and act.

Here’s a sample of the steps in action.

1) Recognize

One of the hardest issues for most of us is to face the fact that prejudice or bias has seeped into our thinking. You
have to examine your thoughts and your feelings. Pay particular attention to your thoughts about individuals. A great
exercise is to finish the sentences….Blacks are… Hispanics are… Old people are… This activity will give you a good
indication of the programmed thinking that your rational brain has adopted as “truth.” When you discover ill-conceived
“truths” in your thinking, you’re in a better position to confront them for what they are. Your feelings are also
significant indicators that will help you confront prejudice. When you are in the presence of different groups or people,
how do you feel? Condescending? Fearful? Superior? Dismissive? Defensive? Confused? Suspicious? Pay attention,
because feelings often precede actions and behaviors. So, this step involves facing the truth about your prejudice.

Doug Reid, of Innovate a Phoenix based consulting firm, said that the most important thing for him to do is to clear his
mind of these ill-conceived “truths” before he interacts with others. He said that is a powerful thing to admit to
yourself.

Mari Gonzalez, an independent translator, was born in Argentina, a place she says was not prejudice as the United
States. In the three years she has spent in the US, she says, she has realized that Americans put people into
“boxes.” She never knew about those boxes before, but over time, the presence of those boxes seeped into her
being, and pretty soon, she says, she was putting people into boxes herself. “I feel bad about that,” she says. Her
self-awareness helped her understand that she was falling into the trap, and it has helped her climb out of it.

2) Redirect

Having the courage to admit prejudice is a great first step. Now, call upon yourself to redirect both your thinking and
your emotions when it comes to people of different color, national origin, religion, etc. To confront those ill-conceived
“truths,” ask yourself to find contrary evidence to reframe your thinking and form new and more accurate truths. Keep
challenging your thinking and introducing new information. One of the very best ways to redirect your thinking is to
get to know people who are the target of your prejudice. Spending time and openly exchanging ideas often is the best
way to get past the initial emotional reactions that may poison your thinking and your behaviors. Also, redirecting also
means deciding that you intend to treat people differently than you currently do. Once that intention to treat people
differently is in your consciousness, you should consider it every time you encounter someone who is the target of
your prejudice.

Adele Lynn, author of The EQ Difference, relates a story about her own transformation. Years ago, on her first day of
work, there was no desk for her, so her supervisor put her into the office of a woman — a black woman — who was
on maternity leave and would not be needing her office for several weeks. Lynn looked around the office and saw a
number of photographs staring back at her: parents, children, a husband.

“I said to myself, ‘I’m in the middle of a black family,’” Lynn said. “So there were all these loving eyes looking at me.”
Seeing that loving family was quite a revelation for a woman who had grown up only with stereotypes of black people.
That was part of what started her transformation.

The other part kicked in when the woman came to visit her co-workers and saw Lynn sitting in her office. “She eyed
me up,” Lynn said, “and she made the decision: Should she be upset that I was in her office and taking over, or
should we be friends? And with her big heart, this black woman decided ‘Let’s be friends.’” Thirty-five years later, that
friendship still produces blooms.
3) Reflect

An important path to any type of self-improvement is reflection. Each day, we have an opportunity to reflect on our
interactions with others as well as our intended outcomes. Reflection is a powerful tool for overcoming prejudice IF
we use it correctly. Too often, we spend valuable reflection time justifying our actions. We lament, “I didn’t mean for
Susie to feel hurt.” We justify our actions by hanging onto our good intentions. Instead, if we use our reflection time to
consider the result that our words or behaviors caused, we’re in a much better position to redirect our behaviors in
our next encounter. We’re not measured on what we intended, we’re measured on the impact, so that’s what we
should consider during reflection. What did we deliver? Yet, reflection isn’t about regret. Each day presents a new
opportunity to learn from our encounters and to try again. The biggest regret is to never face the truth and fail to
confront your prejudice in the first place.

David Gonzalez working with an advertising company watched as the casting director and the company used the
power of reflection to redirect their prejudice. He says that once when he was casting for an ad for the U.S. Latino
market, the casting director looked at the people Gonzalez had brought and concluded they didn’t look Hispanic.

“What do Hispanics look like?” Gonzalez asked.

That question forced the advertising company to look at the Latino market differently.

The Next Step

If your company is interested in digging deeper and taking the next step in your diversity efforts, emotional
intelligence tailored to diversity can give your employees a very meaningful look at their thinking and it can give your
company true inclusion – consistent intentions, words and actions. Sure, some people will want to hold onto their
prejudice. For those, nothing may work. But for many who have good intentions, but just don’t know how to align their
actions and words with their good intentions, emotional intelligence can give them the answer and a profound
learning experience.




A Different Kind of Smart

The ability to solve quadratic equations may be a function of a person's IQ, but the ability to deal with everyday job
stresses, shifting priorities, demanding customers, and difficult co-workers is a function of EQ or emotional
intelligence.

In fact, those employees who score high on the EQ scale work with a different, yet vitally important kind of
intelligence. That's not to say that intellect or IQ is not important. Incredible progress has been made in business over
the years by applying our intellect to our toughest problems. We've engineered some of the very best equipment and
machinery. We've reduced our costs. We've driven our productivity up. We've improved our processes based on
sound facts. And, we've based our financial decisions on good solid data and reasoning power. So, make no mistake,
intellect has proven invaluable and will continue to be invaluable to drive our businesses to success. However, if we
want to soar beyond our present horizons, we must blend the progress that we've made in business using intellect
and IQ with the invaluable competencies of emotional intelligence or EQ. It is our emotional intelligence that will solve
our retention and morale problems, improve our creativity, create synergy from teamwork, speed our information by
way of sophisticated people networks, drive our purpose, and ignite the best and most inspired performance from our
people.

So just what is emotional intelligence? With the risk of oversimplifying, emotional intelligence is the dimension of
intelligence responsible for our ability to manage ourselves and our relationships with others. Included are skills that
drive our internal world as well as our response to the external world. There are five components of emotional
intelligence. They include: a well-honed timing for emotional expression and emotional control; empathy for others;
social expertise that allows us to develop strong working relationships; personal influence that helps us advance our
purpose with others; and an integrity that aligns us with our life's purpose.

Each day in the workplace, an employee's emotional intelligence is put to the test. Most often, how an employee
reacts to situations will build goodwill and co-operation with customers and co-workers or will further drive wedges
into tenuous relationships. When an employee can master appropriate internal emotional reactions to situations and
also master his external response, the employee is working with a high level of emotional intelligence. Too often,
feelings of self-doubt, frustration or anger will take over and control a person's outward expression in a particular
situation. How many times have you heard a person say, "I just couldn't help it, I was just so frustrated I had to react
the way I did?"

As an employer, it's important that you recognize that those reactions can also paralyze the work that gets done.
Underlying tensions and emotions make their way to every meeting and every encounter in the workplace. Yes, I
know, you have probably been taught that emotion doesn't belong in the workplace. But the reality is that it's
inescapable. Emotion is present in the workplace. Everyday. Everywhere. Therefore, as you have improved your
business by way of applying intellectual resources, now is the time to recognize that you can also make dramatic
improvements that will help you reach your business goals by improving the emotional intelligence of your workforce.
Unlike IQ, which tends to remain fixed throughout a person's lifetime, emotional intelligence can be improved over
time.

A Quick Overview of Emotional Intelligence
What is it?


The workplace need no longer linger in darkness regarding the factors leading to great performance. More than 25
years of research in the neurological field and specific study about the factors that contribute to success in the
workplace, have resulted in break through perceptions about intelligence. Quantifiable data on performance in a
myriad of industries and organizations has resulted in a body of study called emotional intelligence. These years of
study have named and identified the “intangibles” that predict success in the workplace. Emotional intelligence
explains why despite equal intellectual capacity, training, or experience, some people excel while others of the same
caliber lag behind.

So, what exactly do the gifts of emotional intelligence comprise?

Although the language, models, and depth of this subject differ among the experts, the general thesis supported in
these works is consistent. Five families or areas emerge as central to the Emotional Intelligence. They are:


1. Self- Awareness and Control – This competency comprises two separate skills. The self-awareness component
demands intimate and accurate knowledge of one's self and one's emotions. It also demands understanding and
predicting one's emotional reactions to situations. The self – control component requires full mastery of being in
control of emotions rather than allowing the emotion to control the person.


      Examples of Positive                           Examples of Negative
      Workplace Behaviors:                           Workplace Behaviors:
         Accurate self assessment                       Exaggerated strengths
         of skills                                      and weaknesses
         Acceptance of                                  Denial of developmental
         developmental needs                            needs
         Professional composure                         Angry outburst or flippant
         even in stressful                              comments or sarcasm
         situations                                     when angry
         Accurate knowledge of                          Tears of frustration,
         emotional reactions                            anger, or manipulation



2. Empathy – Empathy requires the ability to understand how others perceive situations. This perception includes
knowing how others feel about a particular set of events or circumstances. The understanding associated with
empathy is both cognitive and emotional. It takes into consideration the reasons and logic behind another's feelings
or point of view, while also allowing the empathic party to understand the feelings the person has.


      Examples of Positive                          Examples of Negative
      Workplace Behaviors:                          Workplace Behaviors:
         Appropriate comments to                       Inappropriate comments
         others in times of stressful                  which can erode
         situations                                    relationship
         Able to active listen the                     Insensitivity to difficulties
         person's situation or                         or stresses of coworkers
         concerns                                      or customers
         Sensitive to the timing of                    Will often criticize others
         comments                                      in a demeaning way such
         Raises issues or                              as saying they are
         concerns in an                                illogical or over reacting
         appropriate manner



3. Social Expertness – Social expertness is the ability to build genuine relationships and bonds with others. Social
expertness allows people to genuinely express feelings, even conflict, in a way that builds rather than destroys
relationships. Social expertness also demands that one read social situations for readiness, appropriateness, and
spoken and unspoken norms.


      Examples of Positive                          Examples of Negative
      Workplace Behaviors:                          Workplace Behaviors:
         Develops friendly                             Often questions motives
         relationships with others                     Is isolated or not well
         Will confront issues in a                     liked by co-workers or
         constructive manner                           others
         Follows through on                            Confronts like a bull in a
         promised actions because                      china shop or not at all
         relationship is primary                       Struggles to determine
         Initiates positive actions                    social norms and
         that will benefit another                     acceptable behavior
         person                                        Often displays poor timing
         Viewed as helpful                             of comments


4. Personal Influence – Personal influence is the ability to inspire others through example, words, and deeds.
Personal influence is the ability to read situations and exert influence and leadership in the desired direction.
Personal influence is also exhibiting outward actions for one's visions, missions, core values and beliefs.
Examples of Positive                         Examples of Negative
      Workplace Behaviors:                         Workplace Behaviors:
         Attentively listens to                       Quick to dismiss or insult
         ideas, concerns or                           ideas that he/ she
         objections                                   disagrees with
         Validates concerns or                        Does not encourage
         objections of others                         others' ideas
         before stating his /her                      Tells or expects others to
         position                                     follow rather than ask
         Does not insult positions                    opinions or attempt to
         of others                                    dialogue
         Asks for assistance                          Does not work to build
         toward goals or                              consensus
         objectivesl



5. Mastery of Vision/ Purpose - Mastery of vision and purpose requires that the individual have the ability to set
personal direction and goals based on a strong personal philosophy. The ability to move with passion toward life's
goals are also essential to mastery of vision. This inner compass also provides resilience and strength to overcome
obstacles. It is the inner motivator and the guardian angel of our purpose. When our actions and words are consistent
with this personal philosophy, it is our sense of authenticity. When inconsistent, it is our sense of stress and
discomfort.


      Examples of Positive                         Examples of Negative
      Workplace Behaviors:                         Workplace Behaviors:
         Is self assured in career /                  Constantly second
         life direction                               guesses career / life
         Accepts setback as                           choices
         temporary obstacles                          Often will display lack of
         Attempts to learn from                       direction in career / life
         mistakes                                     choices
         Sense of composure and                       Jumps from one interest
         confidence in opinions                       to another
         central to life mission                      Will often think that the
         Focused attention                            someone else should give
                                                      them the answer to life/
                                                      career choices
Your Front Line Bankers, Emotional Intelligence, and Your Bottom Line

Your frontline employees face a daunting task every day: to serve customers who, for one reason or another, range
from irritating to rude, and to send them away with a good banking experience.

Those customers can trigger defensive behaviors in bank employees, such as stubbornness, sternness, sarcasm,
even meanness.

What your tellers and loan officers should want to do to, even with the unpleasant customer, is to complete
successful transaction for the both the bank and the customer. To do that, they must understand that their customers
might be carrying burdens they don't know about. That's empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand the perspective of others, and it's one of the foundations of improving one's
emotional intelligence.

Empathy is the ability to understand that something in that rude customer's day gave him the attitude he brings in.
Maybe traffic has put him behind schedule. Maybe she has been denied a promotion she deserved. Maybe a child or
an aging parent is sick. Maybe he just hasn't had good experiences with banks in the past. Understanding that
customers bring their personal baggage into your branch is the first step in your tellers' and officers' developing a
positive relationship with them.

So, how should your frontline employees improve their empathy?

First, they should ask themselves these questions:

         What triggers might be present that are disabling my empathy?
         What questions can I ask so that I can gain insight into this person's perspective?
         Am I listening to build an argument or to further my case, or am I listening to understand?
         Am I at risk for not understanding the perspective of the other person?
         Is my intention to empathize with the other person's perspective?
         What assumptions must I challenge if I intend to be more empathetic in this situation?
         What can I do immediately to learn about this person's perspective? * What situations in my own life can I
         draw on to understand this person's perspective?
         What did I do well to empathize with the others in this situation?

The answers to those questions might help them to improve their relationships with challenging customers. How can
they improve their empathy in general to help them improve their relationships with everyone: customers, colleagues,
family, friends and others in their lives?

There are many things to do, but for the purposes of this article, ask them to focus on these Eleven
Steps to Improved Empathy:

    1.   When someone is talking to you, ask yourself what emotion is underlying his or her words.
    2.   Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Can you understand his/ her point of view even if you don't
         agree with it?
    3.   Try to anticipate the emotional reaction of other people in a given situation.
    4.   Watch people's non-verbal reactions to you. What do you think they are feeling?
    5.   When someone says something you disagree with, actively listen to his or her statement. Do so in a non-
         judgmental way. Notice the reaction that this precipitates.
    6.   When someone says something you agree with, stay silent about your views and draw the other person out
         and ask them to tell you more.
    7.   Watch a television without the volume. Record it for later review. Try to read the emotions that the
         characters are portraying. Watch the show again with the sound to determine how accurate you were in your
         assessment.
    8.   When listening to someone, ask that person to clarify the feelings behind his / her statement, not just the
         facts.
9.  List ten people you think are extremely empathetic. Observe their interactions with others and list the
        qualities, both verbal and non-verbal, that you observe.
    10. List ten people who you do not think show sensitivity to others. Observe their interactions with others and list
        the characteristics, both verbal and non-verbal, that you observe.
    11. Ask someone who you think is very empathetic to coach or mentor you.

There are other ways to improve your empathy. But these should put you on the road to making your bank branch
more inviting to customers, and they should have your customers coming back to you.




                                                  Andrew Morton

                                              Managing Consultant




                                         “Your Complete HR Solution”



                                                Tel: (011) 472 2996

                                                Fax: (011) 472 3009

                                                Cell: 083 454 7602

                                       e-mail: andrew@thehrhub.co.za

                                           web: www.thehrhub.co.za

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Emotional Intelligence

  • 1. Our EQ Model Our model for emotional intelligence consists of 5 factors and several sub-factors that help people master their emotional reactions so they achieve their life goals. Our model consists of inward and outward components that influence our actions and reactions. Our powerful plan for developing emotional intelligence in The EQ Difference helps people at all levels of the organization blends information from the cognitive and limbic brains. It's filled with workplace examples and practical suggestions. Emotional Intelligence: The Next Step in Your Diversity Efforts At this point in the game, your company has probably done some initial diversity awareness. Perhaps you’re satisfied with your results and wondering what the next step might be. Or maybe, you’re wondering how you can get the message to hit closer to home and prove to have lasting and significant results with your workforce. Either way, the next step lies in profound fundamental shifts in our thinking so that the awareness seeps through to our behavior and actions. Once this shift occurs, diversity is no longer a program, but rather a way of life. What can you do to catapult you to this next level of acceptance? In The EQ Difference, Adele Lynn outlines the steps to greater emotional intelligence. Working with Franky Johnson, Lynn has combined the concepts of emotional intelligence and related them to diversity. “We believe that this is the next breakthrough in diversity. It challenges prejudice at the core,” said Lynn. “Prejudice stems from the way that people think and feel. Although some people are intentionally prejudice, many are prejudice by way of their actions and words, but not their intentions. This process forces you to challenge your actions and words so you live up to your intentions. Others speak of diversity and inclusion, but their actions speak exclusion. Emotional intelligences forces alignment between our words about diversity and inclusion and our intentions.” Emotional intelligence is your ability to manage yourselves and your relationships with other people so you can live your intentions. If it is your intention to count yourself among those who are overcoming prejudice, then, these steps
  • 2. will help. Emotional intelligence demands self-awareness and then using that self-awareness to change how we think, feel, and act. Here’s a sample of the steps in action. 1) Recognize One of the hardest issues for most of us is to face the fact that prejudice or bias has seeped into our thinking. You have to examine your thoughts and your feelings. Pay particular attention to your thoughts about individuals. A great exercise is to finish the sentences….Blacks are… Hispanics are… Old people are… This activity will give you a good indication of the programmed thinking that your rational brain has adopted as “truth.” When you discover ill-conceived “truths” in your thinking, you’re in a better position to confront them for what they are. Your feelings are also significant indicators that will help you confront prejudice. When you are in the presence of different groups or people, how do you feel? Condescending? Fearful? Superior? Dismissive? Defensive? Confused? Suspicious? Pay attention, because feelings often precede actions and behaviors. So, this step involves facing the truth about your prejudice. Doug Reid, of Innovate a Phoenix based consulting firm, said that the most important thing for him to do is to clear his mind of these ill-conceived “truths” before he interacts with others. He said that is a powerful thing to admit to yourself. Mari Gonzalez, an independent translator, was born in Argentina, a place she says was not prejudice as the United States. In the three years she has spent in the US, she says, she has realized that Americans put people into “boxes.” She never knew about those boxes before, but over time, the presence of those boxes seeped into her being, and pretty soon, she says, she was putting people into boxes herself. “I feel bad about that,” she says. Her self-awareness helped her understand that she was falling into the trap, and it has helped her climb out of it. 2) Redirect Having the courage to admit prejudice is a great first step. Now, call upon yourself to redirect both your thinking and your emotions when it comes to people of different color, national origin, religion, etc. To confront those ill-conceived “truths,” ask yourself to find contrary evidence to reframe your thinking and form new and more accurate truths. Keep challenging your thinking and introducing new information. One of the very best ways to redirect your thinking is to get to know people who are the target of your prejudice. Spending time and openly exchanging ideas often is the best way to get past the initial emotional reactions that may poison your thinking and your behaviors. Also, redirecting also means deciding that you intend to treat people differently than you currently do. Once that intention to treat people differently is in your consciousness, you should consider it every time you encounter someone who is the target of your prejudice. Adele Lynn, author of The EQ Difference, relates a story about her own transformation. Years ago, on her first day of work, there was no desk for her, so her supervisor put her into the office of a woman — a black woman — who was on maternity leave and would not be needing her office for several weeks. Lynn looked around the office and saw a number of photographs staring back at her: parents, children, a husband. “I said to myself, ‘I’m in the middle of a black family,’” Lynn said. “So there were all these loving eyes looking at me.” Seeing that loving family was quite a revelation for a woman who had grown up only with stereotypes of black people. That was part of what started her transformation. The other part kicked in when the woman came to visit her co-workers and saw Lynn sitting in her office. “She eyed me up,” Lynn said, “and she made the decision: Should she be upset that I was in her office and taking over, or should we be friends? And with her big heart, this black woman decided ‘Let’s be friends.’” Thirty-five years later, that friendship still produces blooms.
  • 3. 3) Reflect An important path to any type of self-improvement is reflection. Each day, we have an opportunity to reflect on our interactions with others as well as our intended outcomes. Reflection is a powerful tool for overcoming prejudice IF we use it correctly. Too often, we spend valuable reflection time justifying our actions. We lament, “I didn’t mean for Susie to feel hurt.” We justify our actions by hanging onto our good intentions. Instead, if we use our reflection time to consider the result that our words or behaviors caused, we’re in a much better position to redirect our behaviors in our next encounter. We’re not measured on what we intended, we’re measured on the impact, so that’s what we should consider during reflection. What did we deliver? Yet, reflection isn’t about regret. Each day presents a new opportunity to learn from our encounters and to try again. The biggest regret is to never face the truth and fail to confront your prejudice in the first place. David Gonzalez working with an advertising company watched as the casting director and the company used the power of reflection to redirect their prejudice. He says that once when he was casting for an ad for the U.S. Latino market, the casting director looked at the people Gonzalez had brought and concluded they didn’t look Hispanic. “What do Hispanics look like?” Gonzalez asked. That question forced the advertising company to look at the Latino market differently. The Next Step If your company is interested in digging deeper and taking the next step in your diversity efforts, emotional intelligence tailored to diversity can give your employees a very meaningful look at their thinking and it can give your company true inclusion – consistent intentions, words and actions. Sure, some people will want to hold onto their prejudice. For those, nothing may work. But for many who have good intentions, but just don’t know how to align their actions and words with their good intentions, emotional intelligence can give them the answer and a profound learning experience. A Different Kind of Smart The ability to solve quadratic equations may be a function of a person's IQ, but the ability to deal with everyday job stresses, shifting priorities, demanding customers, and difficult co-workers is a function of EQ or emotional intelligence. In fact, those employees who score high on the EQ scale work with a different, yet vitally important kind of intelligence. That's not to say that intellect or IQ is not important. Incredible progress has been made in business over the years by applying our intellect to our toughest problems. We've engineered some of the very best equipment and machinery. We've reduced our costs. We've driven our productivity up. We've improved our processes based on sound facts. And, we've based our financial decisions on good solid data and reasoning power. So, make no mistake, intellect has proven invaluable and will continue to be invaluable to drive our businesses to success. However, if we want to soar beyond our present horizons, we must blend the progress that we've made in business using intellect and IQ with the invaluable competencies of emotional intelligence or EQ. It is our emotional intelligence that will solve our retention and morale problems, improve our creativity, create synergy from teamwork, speed our information by way of sophisticated people networks, drive our purpose, and ignite the best and most inspired performance from our people. So just what is emotional intelligence? With the risk of oversimplifying, emotional intelligence is the dimension of intelligence responsible for our ability to manage ourselves and our relationships with others. Included are skills that drive our internal world as well as our response to the external world. There are five components of emotional intelligence. They include: a well-honed timing for emotional expression and emotional control; empathy for others; social expertise that allows us to develop strong working relationships; personal influence that helps us advance our purpose with others; and an integrity that aligns us with our life's purpose. Each day in the workplace, an employee's emotional intelligence is put to the test. Most often, how an employee reacts to situations will build goodwill and co-operation with customers and co-workers or will further drive wedges
  • 4. into tenuous relationships. When an employee can master appropriate internal emotional reactions to situations and also master his external response, the employee is working with a high level of emotional intelligence. Too often, feelings of self-doubt, frustration or anger will take over and control a person's outward expression in a particular situation. How many times have you heard a person say, "I just couldn't help it, I was just so frustrated I had to react the way I did?" As an employer, it's important that you recognize that those reactions can also paralyze the work that gets done. Underlying tensions and emotions make their way to every meeting and every encounter in the workplace. Yes, I know, you have probably been taught that emotion doesn't belong in the workplace. But the reality is that it's inescapable. Emotion is present in the workplace. Everyday. Everywhere. Therefore, as you have improved your business by way of applying intellectual resources, now is the time to recognize that you can also make dramatic improvements that will help you reach your business goals by improving the emotional intelligence of your workforce. Unlike IQ, which tends to remain fixed throughout a person's lifetime, emotional intelligence can be improved over time. A Quick Overview of Emotional Intelligence What is it? The workplace need no longer linger in darkness regarding the factors leading to great performance. More than 25 years of research in the neurological field and specific study about the factors that contribute to success in the workplace, have resulted in break through perceptions about intelligence. Quantifiable data on performance in a myriad of industries and organizations has resulted in a body of study called emotional intelligence. These years of study have named and identified the “intangibles” that predict success in the workplace. Emotional intelligence explains why despite equal intellectual capacity, training, or experience, some people excel while others of the same caliber lag behind. So, what exactly do the gifts of emotional intelligence comprise? Although the language, models, and depth of this subject differ among the experts, the general thesis supported in these works is consistent. Five families or areas emerge as central to the Emotional Intelligence. They are: 1. Self- Awareness and Control – This competency comprises two separate skills. The self-awareness component demands intimate and accurate knowledge of one's self and one's emotions. It also demands understanding and predicting one's emotional reactions to situations. The self – control component requires full mastery of being in control of emotions rather than allowing the emotion to control the person. Examples of Positive Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors: Workplace Behaviors: Accurate self assessment Exaggerated strengths of skills and weaknesses Acceptance of Denial of developmental developmental needs needs Professional composure Angry outburst or flippant even in stressful comments or sarcasm situations when angry Accurate knowledge of Tears of frustration, emotional reactions anger, or manipulation 2. Empathy – Empathy requires the ability to understand how others perceive situations. This perception includes knowing how others feel about a particular set of events or circumstances. The understanding associated with
  • 5. empathy is both cognitive and emotional. It takes into consideration the reasons and logic behind another's feelings or point of view, while also allowing the empathic party to understand the feelings the person has. Examples of Positive Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors: Workplace Behaviors: Appropriate comments to Inappropriate comments others in times of stressful which can erode situations relationship Able to active listen the Insensitivity to difficulties person's situation or or stresses of coworkers concerns or customers Sensitive to the timing of Will often criticize others comments in a demeaning way such Raises issues or as saying they are concerns in an illogical or over reacting appropriate manner 3. Social Expertness – Social expertness is the ability to build genuine relationships and bonds with others. Social expertness allows people to genuinely express feelings, even conflict, in a way that builds rather than destroys relationships. Social expertness also demands that one read social situations for readiness, appropriateness, and spoken and unspoken norms. Examples of Positive Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors: Workplace Behaviors: Develops friendly Often questions motives relationships with others Is isolated or not well Will confront issues in a liked by co-workers or constructive manner others Follows through on Confronts like a bull in a promised actions because china shop or not at all relationship is primary Struggles to determine Initiates positive actions social norms and that will benefit another acceptable behavior person Often displays poor timing Viewed as helpful of comments 4. Personal Influence – Personal influence is the ability to inspire others through example, words, and deeds. Personal influence is the ability to read situations and exert influence and leadership in the desired direction. Personal influence is also exhibiting outward actions for one's visions, missions, core values and beliefs.
  • 6. Examples of Positive Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors: Workplace Behaviors: Attentively listens to Quick to dismiss or insult ideas, concerns or ideas that he/ she objections disagrees with Validates concerns or Does not encourage objections of others others' ideas before stating his /her Tells or expects others to position follow rather than ask Does not insult positions opinions or attempt to of others dialogue Asks for assistance Does not work to build toward goals or consensus objectivesl 5. Mastery of Vision/ Purpose - Mastery of vision and purpose requires that the individual have the ability to set personal direction and goals based on a strong personal philosophy. The ability to move with passion toward life's goals are also essential to mastery of vision. This inner compass also provides resilience and strength to overcome obstacles. It is the inner motivator and the guardian angel of our purpose. When our actions and words are consistent with this personal philosophy, it is our sense of authenticity. When inconsistent, it is our sense of stress and discomfort. Examples of Positive Examples of Negative Workplace Behaviors: Workplace Behaviors: Is self assured in career / Constantly second life direction guesses career / life Accepts setback as choices temporary obstacles Often will display lack of Attempts to learn from direction in career / life mistakes choices Sense of composure and Jumps from one interest confidence in opinions to another central to life mission Will often think that the Focused attention someone else should give them the answer to life/ career choices
  • 7. Your Front Line Bankers, Emotional Intelligence, and Your Bottom Line Your frontline employees face a daunting task every day: to serve customers who, for one reason or another, range from irritating to rude, and to send them away with a good banking experience. Those customers can trigger defensive behaviors in bank employees, such as stubbornness, sternness, sarcasm, even meanness. What your tellers and loan officers should want to do to, even with the unpleasant customer, is to complete successful transaction for the both the bank and the customer. To do that, they must understand that their customers might be carrying burdens they don't know about. That's empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand the perspective of others, and it's one of the foundations of improving one's emotional intelligence. Empathy is the ability to understand that something in that rude customer's day gave him the attitude he brings in. Maybe traffic has put him behind schedule. Maybe she has been denied a promotion she deserved. Maybe a child or an aging parent is sick. Maybe he just hasn't had good experiences with banks in the past. Understanding that customers bring their personal baggage into your branch is the first step in your tellers' and officers' developing a positive relationship with them. So, how should your frontline employees improve their empathy? First, they should ask themselves these questions: What triggers might be present that are disabling my empathy? What questions can I ask so that I can gain insight into this person's perspective? Am I listening to build an argument or to further my case, or am I listening to understand? Am I at risk for not understanding the perspective of the other person? Is my intention to empathize with the other person's perspective? What assumptions must I challenge if I intend to be more empathetic in this situation? What can I do immediately to learn about this person's perspective? * What situations in my own life can I draw on to understand this person's perspective? What did I do well to empathize with the others in this situation? The answers to those questions might help them to improve their relationships with challenging customers. How can they improve their empathy in general to help them improve their relationships with everyone: customers, colleagues, family, friends and others in their lives? There are many things to do, but for the purposes of this article, ask them to focus on these Eleven Steps to Improved Empathy: 1. When someone is talking to you, ask yourself what emotion is underlying his or her words. 2. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Can you understand his/ her point of view even if you don't agree with it? 3. Try to anticipate the emotional reaction of other people in a given situation. 4. Watch people's non-verbal reactions to you. What do you think they are feeling? 5. When someone says something you disagree with, actively listen to his or her statement. Do so in a non- judgmental way. Notice the reaction that this precipitates. 6. When someone says something you agree with, stay silent about your views and draw the other person out and ask them to tell you more. 7. Watch a television without the volume. Record it for later review. Try to read the emotions that the characters are portraying. Watch the show again with the sound to determine how accurate you were in your assessment. 8. When listening to someone, ask that person to clarify the feelings behind his / her statement, not just the facts.
  • 8. 9. List ten people you think are extremely empathetic. Observe their interactions with others and list the qualities, both verbal and non-verbal, that you observe. 10. List ten people who you do not think show sensitivity to others. Observe their interactions with others and list the characteristics, both verbal and non-verbal, that you observe. 11. Ask someone who you think is very empathetic to coach or mentor you. There are other ways to improve your empathy. But these should put you on the road to making your bank branch more inviting to customers, and they should have your customers coming back to you. Andrew Morton Managing Consultant “Your Complete HR Solution” Tel: (011) 472 2996 Fax: (011) 472 3009 Cell: 083 454 7602 e-mail: andrew@thehrhub.co.za web: www.thehrhub.co.za