1. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Writing Summary Leads
from Online Exercises 3-2.2 to 3-2.6
B RUCE C LARY I NSTRUCTOR

2. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
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3. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
San Francisco police said yesterday that a 23-year-
old Ohio man bled to death early Friday after a brawl
in a Tenderloin bar.
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4. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
San Francisco police said yesterday that a 23-year-
old Ohio man bled to death early Friday after a brawl
in a Tenderloin bar.
A 23-year-old Ohio man bled to death early Friday
after a brawl in a Tenderloin bar, San Francisco
police said yesterday
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5. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
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6. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
There was a report out Friday that identity thieves
have stolen more than 40 million credit card
accounts in perhaps the single largest case of
consumer data theft ever.
FALL 2009
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7. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
There was a report out Friday that identity thieves
have stolen more than 40 million credit card
accounts in perhaps the single largest case of
consumer data theft ever.
Identity thieves have stolen more than 40 million
credit card accounts in perhaps the single largest
case of consumer data theft ever, according to a
report released Friday.
FALL 2009
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8. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
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9. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
Nevada City resident Harriet Swank suffered
serious injuries Sunday when she triggered a
methane explosion by lighting a match in a
portable toilet.
FALL 2009
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10. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
Nevada City resident Harriet Swank suffered
serious injuries Sunday when she triggered a
methane explosion by lighting a match in a
portable toilet.
A Nevada City resident suffered serious injuries
Sunday when she triggered a methane explosion
by lighting a match in a portable toilet.
FALL 2009
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I NSTRUCTOR

11. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
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12. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
A state prosecutor was asked by Gov. Jeb Bush on
Friday to explore the circumstance of a dead
woman’s collapse 15 years ago.
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13. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
A state prosecutor was asked by Gov. Jeb Bush on
Friday to explore the circumstance of a dead
woman’s collapse 15 years ago.
Gov. Jeb Bush on Friday asked a state prosecutor
to explore the circumstance of a dead woman’s
collapse 15 years ago.
FALL 2009
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14. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
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15. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
In their fourth such action since last month’s
disappearance of an Alabama teen, Aruban police
arrested a party boat disc jockey on Friday.
FALL 2009
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16. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
In their fourth such action since last month’s
disappearance of an Alabama teen, Aruban police
arrested a party boat disc jockey on Friday.
Aruban police arrested a party boat disc jockey on
Friday, making him the fourth person taken into
custody in connection with last month’s
disappearance of an Alabama teen.
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I NSTRUCTOR

17. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
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18. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
In Kyrgistan on Monday, police battled protesters
who swarmed into government buildings in the
nation’s biggest unrest since the ouster of its
president in March.
FALL 2009
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I NSTRUCTOR

19. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
In Kyrgistan on Monday, police battled protesters
who swarmed into government buildings in the
nation’s biggest unrest since the ouster of its
president in March.
Kyrgistan police battled protesters who swarmed
into government buildings Monday in the nation’s
biggest unrest since the ouster of its president in
March.
FALL 2009
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I NSTRUCTOR

20. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
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21. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
Roughly 1,000 U.S. Marines and Iraqi soldiers
backed by American fighter jets attacked insurgent
strongholds in the western Iraqi town of Karabilah
on Friday and pushed along the banks of the
Euphrates River valley looking for terrorists and
“terrorist-support” systems that have taken
advantage of Syria’s porous border.
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22. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Better
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23. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Better
Roughly 1,000 U.S. Marines and Iraqi soldiers
backed by American fighter jets attacked insurgent
strongholds in the western Iraqi town of Karabilah
on Friday. The allied U.S. and Iraqi soldiers pushed
along the banks of the Euphrates River valley
looking for terrorists and “terrorist-support”
systems that have taken advantage of Syria’s
porous border.
FALL 2009
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24. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
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25. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
Mount Clemens police arrested a former parking
meter attendant last week after finding thousands
of dollars in coins in his home.
FALL 2009
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I NSTRUCTOR

26. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
What’s wrong with this lead?
Mount Clemens police arrested a former parking
meter attendant last week after finding thousands
of dollars in coins in his home.
A former parking meter attendant was arrested in
Mount Clemens last week after police found
thousands of dollars in coins in his home.
FALL 2009
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I NSTRUCTOR

27. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
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28. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale
Adult School.
FALL 2009
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29. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale
Adult School.
An arsonist set a predawn fire at the Oakdale Adult School Tuesday,
causing about $35,000 damage, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam
said. It is the second suspicious fire in two years at the school.
FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
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30. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
Investigators are looking into another suspicious fire at Oakdale
Adult School.
An arsonist set a predawn fire at the Oakdale Adult School Tuesday,
causing about $35,000 damage, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam
said. It is the second suspicious fire in two years at the school.
Arson appears to be the cause of a fire that broke out Tuesday
morning at Oakdale Adult School, Oakdale Police Chief Bryant Tam
said.
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31. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
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32. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a
successful emergency landing at San Francisco International
Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot
to abort the flight to Los Angeles.
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33. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a
successful emergency landing at San Francisco International
Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot
to abort the flight to Los Angeles.
The Federal Aviation Administration will investigate the reasons that
led to a PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members
making an emergency landing at San Francisco International
Airport Saturday evening.
FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
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34. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
A PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members made a
successful emergency landing at San Francisco International
Airport on Saturday after a landing gear malfunction forced the pilot
to abort the flight to Los Angeles.
The Federal Aviation Administration will investigate the reasons that
led to a PDQ airliner with 117 passengers and six crew members
making an emergency landing at San Francisco International
Airport Saturday evening.
A planeload of passengers and crew members are counting their
blessings after an emergency landing Saturday at San Francisco
International Airport.
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35. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
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36. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a
November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City
Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water.
FALL 2009
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37. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a
November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City
Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water.
A ballot measure that, if approved, would allow the city to fluoridate
its water will appear on the November ballot, thanks to a Cypress
City Council vote authorizing it last night.
FALL 2009
B RUCE C LARY B RUCE C LARY , I NSTRUCTOR
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38. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
Cypress City Council members will await the approval of a
November ballot measure, which they approved last night at City
Hall, that would allow the city to fluoridate its water.
A ballot measure that, if approved, would allow the city to fluoridate
its water will appear on the November ballot, thanks to a Cypress
City Council vote authorizing it last night.
Cypress City Council members authorized a ballot measure last
night that would, if approved in November, allow the city to
fluoridate its water.
FALL 2009
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39. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
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40. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher
Association meeting Tuesday in the school’s cafeteria erupted in
gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the
association’s president with a small, automatic pistol.
FALL 2009
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I NSTRUCTOR

41. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher
Association meeting Tuesday in the school’s cafeteria erupted in
gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the
association’s president with a small, automatic pistol.
A shooting Tuesday night at a meeting of the Cornelis Banta
School’s Parent-Teacher Association left the group’s president dead
and one of its members in the county jail.
FALL 2009
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42. cm 1 35  an introduction to journalism
Which lead is best?
A parliamentary debate at a Cornelis Banta School Parent-Teacher
Association meeting Tuesday in the school’s cafeteria erupted in
gunfire after one of the participants shot and killed the
association’s president with a small, automatic pistol.
A shooting Tuesday night at a meeting of the Cornelis Banta
School’s Parent-Teacher Association left the group’s president dead
and one of its members in the county jail.
Mrs. Noah ten Floed was shot between the eyes and died during a
parliamentary exchange at the Cornelis Banta School Parent-
Teacher Association meeting Tuesday in the school’s cafeteria.
FALL 2009
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