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德國人真幽默!
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德國人真幽默!
1.
德國人真幽默! 德國法蘭克福發行的一份報紙 (Frankfurter Allegemeine)上,刊登了一篇真實 事件, 汽車小偷跟失竊車主之間有趣的通信。 我們可以發覺,在德國擁有汽車的成本 主要不在於車輛本身,而是使用時所需的維修、
稅 金及保險費。 請按鍵換頁
2.
可敬的Brauen先生: 您一定已經發覺,您那輛停在Goethe街的藍色小轎車 被人偷走了! 我就是那個偷車的人,為了表示對失主的情誼,我想向 您提出一個友好的建議: 我在您的車裡發現一個裝有許多信件和卷夾的皮包。這 些對我而言是毫無意義, 但是對於您呢,我看是相當重要的。如果您肯將您這部 汽車的各種證件交給我, 我也將會把這些東西放在Goethe街4號的住宅後面給您 。您要給我的東西也可以放在那個地方。 致上親切的問候 您的汽車小偷於 03/02/2008法蘭克福
3.
可敬的小偷先生: 我接受您的建議,因為我確實迫切需要那些資 料。至於我的(亦即是您的) 那輛藍色四人小轎車的各種必須證件包含保養 資料卡,都將在今晚24點之後 放在您所指定的Goethe街4號住宅後面。 順致崇高的敬意 MarkusBrauen 於05/02/2008法蘭克福
4.
兩個月後,車子已過戶.. 可敬的Brauen先生: 本週我得支付高達246EUR的下一期汽車稅,是嗎? 致上親切的問候 您的汽車小偷於07/04/2008法蘭克福 * * *
* * * * * 可敬的小偷先生: 我不得不十分抱歉地通知您,下一期的汽車稅您一 定得在本周內到稅務所繳納, 拖延只會使罰款加重。 順致崇高的敬意 MarkusBrauen於09/04/2008法蘭克福 附記:順便再提醒您,不要忘記到Niekulistars保險公司去繳納汽車保險費 。
5.
可敬的Brauen先生: 對不起,我又要寫信打擾您了,不過這輛 小汽車竟然每 100公里 消耗14
-16升的無鉛汽 油,另外左邊後輪也漏氣了! 順致崇高的敬意 您的汽車小偷於10/04/2008法蘭克福
6.
可敬的小偷先生: 上封信中我忘記告訴您,我的(亦即是您的) 那輛藍色四人小轎車極需要更換新輪胎,至於耗油 量確實是您所提的那麼多,您想必已經知道那部汽 車其實遠比她的外觀老舊許多,她也許常常會使您 的工作半途而廢。 為了您的利益起見,我想勸您儘快安裝新的汽 閥。 致上親切的問候 MarkusBrauen於12/04/2008法蘭克福
7.
可敬的Brauen先生: 稅務所寄通知給我,要我在十天之內繳交 698EUR的汽車稅連帶罰款。 此外,坐墊都壞了,右轉方向燈也無法正常運 作。 另外,您可以介紹我一間比較便宜的車庫嗎? 當然要有暖氣配備的,因為現在也已經不容易發動 引擎了。 我目前的車庫一個月要支付150EUR呀! 順致崇高的敬意 您的汽車小偷於18/04/2008法蘭克福
8.
可敬的小偷先生: 我想您除了確實繳納汽車稅之外,別無他法 。昨晚我想起一件事,那就是煞車幫浦也都失效 了,或許您也已經發覺了,不過還是建議您檢查 一下。 此外,您必須在天氣不好的時候(現在天氣 就不太好),把車蓬修理一下。 至於車庫,我恐怕提不出什麼好建議,因為 我總是把車停在外面的。 致上親切的問候 MarkusBrauen於23/04/2008法蘭克福
9.
可敬的Brauen先生: 自從偷了您的汽車之後,我吃盡了苦頭。更不 幸的是,昨天差速器也壞了。 我是個誠實的小偷,您叫我怎麼能承擔得起這 些費用呢?我想請求您把這輛汽車收回,我願意支 付一筆賠償費好了。 但願您同意我的這個建議。 順致崇高的敬意 您的汽車小偷於25/04/2008法蘭克福
10.
可敬的小偷先生: 十分遺憾,我們之間的友好通信因為您的殘酷決定而結 束了。 由於您偷走了我的(亦即是您的)汽車,才使我真正了 解到上帝為什麼要給我兩條腿。我又開始漫長的徒步旅行, 而我多餘的脂肪已經減少了好幾公斤,我的心臟也開始恢復 正常,我完全忘記我的心血管疾病,我剛剛做完的健康報告 也比起以前進步許多。 另外,我的經濟狀況亦大大好轉。 把汽車收回來!?我想也沒想過!我堅決拒絕您的提議 ,即使您向我提出控告也可以。 再者,我是從來不要任何偷來的東西的。 致上親切的問候 MarkusBrauen於28/04/2008法蘭克福
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