1. This is my review of my documentary showing evidence and proof of what I changed and what basic
electronic aids I used.
In the first paragraph I added synonyms making it longer but also making well-structured
with saying who was in my group and what we had to do.
I added more connectives and more words such as short film I added /documentary to
show people who would be reading this for the first time they would know what we’re
talking about.
In the last draft I added more conventions even if I
didn’t explain them I showed we learnt quite a few
other conventions and making the paragraph
interesting and longer.

2. Here I added more adjectives to describe
more and give out the purpose of this review
of the documentary and what was the
purpose of it.
In the first draft there weren’t much detail and in this last
one I added extra information and more detail into it making
it more factual as possible.

4. This paragraph I didn’t do much changing but only re-
worded as it didn’t make sense.
Here below shows the last draft of my review showing
what changes I have done to each 3 drafts.

5. As you can see in my three other drafts on the blog you can clearly see the changes I done.
Mostly what I done was proof read it over and over again to see if it made sense reading out
loud so I changed few words and sentences through the Review making more sense and
adding more connectives, adjectives and other electronic aids that helped me.
Here also I’ve used electronically gadgets to check my spelling and here I’ve used misspelling
of the word inconvenient.
I added more connectives and adjectives telling
more of a descriptive way about the sound being
muffled.