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From choice, a world of possibilities

                             Society Sexuality and Pleasure




Maya
Koumanova,
YSAFE CHAIR

Luize Ratniece,
YSAFE
What is sexual pleasure?
 Write on a piece of paper
  what sexual pleasure
  means to you ( whether
  you have experienced or
  whether it is a fantasy)
 1-3 words
 No name




YSAFE Brussels 2012
Sexual Pleasure and Rights
 What is sexual pleasure?
   More than having orgasms
   Intimacy, acceptance, confirmation
   Gender and pleasure
 Are sexual rights there to protect against
  pregnancy, rape, disease and violence, or are they
  there in relation to eroticism, recreation and
  pleasure.
 Is addressing sexual pleasure in our work a luxury?



YSAFE Brussels 2012
Public health: us
   Responsible behaviour

   Healthy life styles

   Risks

   Safety

   Morality and ethics
Sex Industry

                Enjoyment

                Lust

                Desire

                Pleasure

                Fantasies

                Orgasm
History of Sex
“A majority (78.5%) of gay and bisexually
identified men reported having used at least
one type of sex, toy, including dildos (62.1%),
non-vibrating cock rings (51.9%), vibrators
(49.6%), butt plugs (34.0%), masturbation
sleeves (27.9%), and anal beads or balls
(19.3%).”

(From: Sex Toy Use by Gay and Bisexual Men in
 the United States , 2012)
Pleasure and srh health: strange bed
partners?

Some evidence on positive
  relationship between sexuality
  and health:

 Contraceptive use and

sexual enjoyment

( Rademakers e.a)

 Breaking gender roles and sexual

  enjoyment

( USA Bureau of Labour Statistics)
Research            “The Association Between
              Developmental Assets and Sexual
           Enjoyment Among Emerging Adults”
                      Galinsky & Sonnenstain


     •Autonomy

     •Self Esteem

     •Empathy
How do we think and feel about sex and
              pleasure?
MYTHS?




 YSAFE Brussels 2012
MYTHS?
MYTHS?
MYTHS?
Myths on gender and sexual pleasure


 Good sex should always be spontaneous

 Good sex should always end in an orgasm

 Good sex is the same as intercourse

 For good sex you need an erection
Love and sexual pleasure
 Romantics: do you refuse a life without passion; you
  never give up on true love. So every time desire does
  wane, do you believe that love is gone?

 Realists; do you think that enduring love is more
  important than hot sex, and that passion makes people
  do stupid things. It’s dangerous, it creates problems,
  and it’s a weak foundation for a relationship. So for you
  love is more important than sex. The initial excitement
  grows into something else — deep love, mutual respect,
  shared history and companionship. Diminishing desire is
  inescapable.
What is sexy
What is fun




              Adam Mager
What is sexy: Pleasure Project
IPPF’s work
 on
Sexual
Pleasure
Sexual pleasure in our commitment
      to young people’s sexual rights
 Sexuality is an integral of
  being human for all
  young people
 Sexuality and sexual
  pleasure are important to
  young people regardless
  their reproductive desires
 All young people have the
  right to freely and fully
  experience sexuality and
  gender in a pleasurable,
  healthy and satisfying
  way.
Sexual pleasure and youth friendly
             services
                 A Youth Friendly Health
                   Professional:
                  Accepts young people
                   as sexual beings
                  Listens and respects
                   the experiences of
                   the young person
                  Avoids moralizing
                  Helps to understand
                   what sexual pleasure
                   is
Pleasure in comprehensive sexuality
             education
                   Anatomy and sexual
                    pleasure
                   Sexual expression and
                    enjoyment
                   sexual consent and
                    sexual coercion
                   Creating mutual
                    respectful and
                    responsible
                    relationships
Sexual Pleasure and young people living
with HIV
Addressing sexual pleasure with
             young people

 It is not just about behaviour itself but what it
    means to the person(s) involved
   Consider the social context in which sexual
    behaviour takes place
   Have an inclusive approach: sexual orientation as an
    essential part of oneself
   Address both sexual enjoyment and sexual abuse
   Make safer sex more attractive and pleasurable as
    unsafe sex
Finally….

 Recognize the importance of sexuality
 Take an inclusive, gendered and positive approach to
  sexuality
 Recognize the links between different sexuality issues.
  Support integrated approaches to sexuality
 Go beyond rights to be free from violence, to support
  positive rights and rights to pleasure as well
 Draw inspiration from and connect with the exciting
  initiatives already happening!
Thank you!

Have a sexy and pleasurable day!!!!

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From choice, a world of possibilities

  • 1. From choice, a world of possibilities Society Sexuality and Pleasure Maya Koumanova, YSAFE CHAIR Luize Ratniece, YSAFE
  • 2. What is sexual pleasure?  Write on a piece of paper what sexual pleasure means to you ( whether you have experienced or whether it is a fantasy)  1-3 words  No name YSAFE Brussels 2012
  • 3. Sexual Pleasure and Rights  What is sexual pleasure?  More than having orgasms  Intimacy, acceptance, confirmation  Gender and pleasure  Are sexual rights there to protect against pregnancy, rape, disease and violence, or are they there in relation to eroticism, recreation and pleasure.  Is addressing sexual pleasure in our work a luxury? YSAFE Brussels 2012
  • 4. Public health: us  Responsible behaviour  Healthy life styles  Risks  Safety  Morality and ethics
  • 5. Sex Industry  Enjoyment  Lust  Desire  Pleasure  Fantasies  Orgasm
  • 7.
  • 8. “A majority (78.5%) of gay and bisexually identified men reported having used at least one type of sex, toy, including dildos (62.1%), non-vibrating cock rings (51.9%), vibrators (49.6%), butt plugs (34.0%), masturbation sleeves (27.9%), and anal beads or balls (19.3%).” (From: Sex Toy Use by Gay and Bisexual Men in the United States , 2012)
  • 9. Pleasure and srh health: strange bed partners? Some evidence on positive relationship between sexuality and health:  Contraceptive use and sexual enjoyment ( Rademakers e.a)  Breaking gender roles and sexual enjoyment ( USA Bureau of Labour Statistics)
  • 10. Research “The Association Between Developmental Assets and Sexual Enjoyment Among Emerging Adults” Galinsky & Sonnenstain •Autonomy •Self Esteem •Empathy
  • 11. How do we think and feel about sex and pleasure?
  • 16. Myths on gender and sexual pleasure  Good sex should always be spontaneous  Good sex should always end in an orgasm  Good sex is the same as intercourse  For good sex you need an erection
  • 17. Love and sexual pleasure  Romantics: do you refuse a life without passion; you never give up on true love. So every time desire does wane, do you believe that love is gone?  Realists; do you think that enduring love is more important than hot sex, and that passion makes people do stupid things. It’s dangerous, it creates problems, and it’s a weak foundation for a relationship. So for you love is more important than sex. The initial excitement grows into something else — deep love, mutual respect, shared history and companionship. Diminishing desire is inescapable.
  • 19. What is fun Adam Mager
  • 20. What is sexy: Pleasure Project
  • 21.
  • 22.
  • 24. Sexual pleasure in our commitment to young people’s sexual rights  Sexuality is an integral of being human for all young people  Sexuality and sexual pleasure are important to young people regardless their reproductive desires  All young people have the right to freely and fully experience sexuality and gender in a pleasurable, healthy and satisfying way.
  • 25. Sexual pleasure and youth friendly services A Youth Friendly Health Professional:  Accepts young people as sexual beings  Listens and respects the experiences of the young person  Avoids moralizing  Helps to understand what sexual pleasure is
  • 26. Pleasure in comprehensive sexuality education  Anatomy and sexual pleasure  Sexual expression and enjoyment  sexual consent and sexual coercion  Creating mutual respectful and responsible relationships
  • 27. Sexual Pleasure and young people living with HIV
  • 28. Addressing sexual pleasure with young people  It is not just about behaviour itself but what it means to the person(s) involved  Consider the social context in which sexual behaviour takes place  Have an inclusive approach: sexual orientation as an essential part of oneself  Address both sexual enjoyment and sexual abuse  Make safer sex more attractive and pleasurable as unsafe sex
  • 29. Finally….  Recognize the importance of sexuality  Take an inclusive, gendered and positive approach to sexuality  Recognize the links between different sexuality issues. Support integrated approaches to sexuality  Go beyond rights to be free from violence, to support positive rights and rights to pleasure as well  Draw inspiration from and connect with the exciting initiatives already happening!
  • 30. Thank you! Have a sexy and pleasurable day!!!!

Notas del editor

  1. We are born and raised into being sexual beings. Sexuality exists within system of gender norms- culture, social, historical. Differences understood in binary way between men and women. How gender is conceptualized is changing, and we hope to change it.Sex happens between gendered individuals. How sex occurs comes from social/cultural norms and expectations as a gendered activity. Flag issue of gender essentialism; questioning of social/cultural/historical formations- need to develop frameworks within which to navigate before we get to change. Key dilemma: formations of norms of institutions of heterosexuality. Pacts between men and women map desire and hope with respect to social norms. How do we learn to embody gender and sexuality as a gendered self? Institution of heterosexuality- evolved historically as relations of power. Positioning women as inferior and lacking rights, in contrast to men and sense of entitlement and respect- men- women punished if they don’t buy into that. Women constitute self in terms of femininity, giving pleasure- map of desirability. The inner workings of gender in the public domain are glued together by workings of sexual domain. Need to develop critical thought about this. Homophobia is developed of these norms- hierarchies of power are normalized. Law, customs, norms- cultural scripts too. How are we invited to embody gendered norms in our minds, bodies, and in our actual sexuality? Sexuality ends up an appendage to gender issues. Double standard of gender equality discourse vs. private domain with commercialization of sexuality. Variability and fluidity of sexuality. How sex is understood- norms related to mechanics of the body. Open the debates about understanding the body and how media influences how we perceive and define it. Illiteracy among men and body related to masculinity, power and fear of failure; boys have not had any opening into the discussions of what is happening. Empowering women- a radical shift needs to happen to bring men and boys in compassionately and lovingly to that process. Silences in culture need to be used to create dialogue. Men and boys are essential in navigating sexual identities within culture. New relationships with our own bodies. Shaping of sex and desire by media.
  2. CYP and pregnancies averted is less than half of the story. IPPF believes that young people are sexual beings with the same rights as adults. We believe that young people have the right to participate in and have choice in relation to sexual and reproductive health decisions. In providing services to under-25s, due regard must given to their autonomy as well as their need for protection and privacy. Young people have the right to freely express their sexuality and, in doing so, to be free from violence or harm. IPPF supports young people to achieve their right to sexual and reproductive health/well-being by promoting and providing comprehensive sexuality education that is rights-based and challenges norms that perpetuate gender inequities.