1. Jeff may
Laura Midkiff
ENGL 111 – 52B
4/25/2013
The Manual for a Successful Marriage Ends Divorce
"I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife or husband, to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part." This
and similar vows around the Globe are recited every day yet divorce rates continue to soar at an
alarming rate.When things are “for better,” there’s no reason to think of that ugly word
“divorce.” The “for worse” part seems to be just words. People may forget just how important
those vows really are and who instituted the marriage arrangement.While Bible counsel gives
evidence of deep wisdom, it does not always say the things people want to hear. Often, it is
accused of being old-fashioned. Why is this? Because while the Bible’s counsel is for our long-
term good, applying it often takes discipline and self-denial; and these qualities are not popular
today. Consider God’s inspired word from the bible writer Moses over 3,500 years ago: “Hence
Jehovah God had a deep sleep fall upon the man and, while he was sleeping, he took one of his
ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. And Jehovah God proceeded to build the rib that
he had taken from the man into a woman and to bring her to the man. . .(Genesis 2:21, 22
NWT). He adds: “. . .That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick
to his wife and they must become one flesh. . .” (Genesis 2:24NWT).“What God has yoked
together let no man put apart.” (Matt. 19:6 NWT) Those words of counsel by Jesus are filled

2. with meaning for the true Christian.God Himself instituted the marriage arrangement but
marriages continue to fall apart, why?
Marriages fall apart for an infinite number of contributing factors such as being too
young,physical or emotional abuse, lack of communication, out with the boys or girls,changes in
interests or values,neglect of home duties, lack of respect and honor; the list is endless. God
prophesied these matters would take place. He declares, through the writings of the Apostle Paul:
“. . .those who marry will face many troubles in this life…”(1 Corinthians 7:28 NIV). The bible
was written with marital problems in mind (Note, God did not “cause” tribulation in the
marriage). Consider, when purchasing a product, instructions or an owner’s manual is standard
for that specific product. The idea is to make sure the product is used and maintained properly
for the maximum desired result. Despite mankind’s personal thinking or what statistics may
show with regard divorce rates and acceptability, the human owner’s manual – the bible – should
be considered in all aspects of life, especially marriage, to eliminate divorce.Marriage is no
experimental arrangement that can be dropped if one finds the going difficult. The manual shows
God’s feelings on the matter of divorce because the manual in which they were written states: “I
hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel…” (Malachi 2:16 GW). We must constantly battle the
imperfect flesh to keep the human tendency of selfishness in check to gain God’s
approval.Instead of addressing only the symptoms to a disrupted marriage, let’s go directly to the
source.
The underlying source of disrupted, broken and dysfunctionalfamilies’ lies in a challenge
to God that was presented over 6,000 years agoby what God says is the most beautiful angel He
created but who became the most rebellious – Satan.When Satan approached Eve (through the
speech of the serpent), he actually challenged the rightfulness and righteousness of the almighty

3. God Jehovah’s sovereignty right to rule. He intimated that God was unrightfully withholding
something from the woman; he also declared that God was a liar in saying that if she ate the
forbidden fruit. . .“Ye shall not surely die”(Genesis 3:4KJV).These were outright lies! The
outcome would have been very different had Adam and Eve followed what was considered their
owner’s manual – God, prior to their course of wrong action.This challenge to God’s right to rule
thus affected the once high position that beautiful angel and the ones that followed in that
rebellious course once had, as God contends: “And war broke out in heaven: Mi′cha·el and his
angels battled with the dragon, and the dragon and its angels battled but it did not prevail, neither
was a place found for them any longer in heaven. So down the great dragon was hurled, the
original serpent, the one called Devil and Satan, who is misleading the entire inhabited earth; he
was hurled down to the earth, and his angels were hurled down with him” (Rev. 12: 9-11 NWT).
Countless rebellious angels, including Satan, are now here on earth trying to cause already sinful
humans to turn against what God himself has the rights – to rule mankind. Times now are very
difficult for humans because of how God next responds: “Woe for the earth and for the sea,
because the Devil has come down to YOU, having great anger, knowing he has a short period of
time” (Rev. 12:12 NWT). Woe indeed! Mankind has been afflicted with many unwarranted
anxieties including and especially the attack on marriages; thus, by extension family members.
This action has led to the moral breakdown of family life in general. For example, many times
financial struggles will shred the marriage vows.
“Divorce rates have been falling for years, but starting in 2007, rates began to fall more
quickly,”said Abdur Chowdhury, an economics professor at MarquetteUniversity Milwaukee,
Wisconsin. Chowdhury adds: “The drop was more significant than we have seen in previous
recessions.”Chowdhury used a statistical model and data for 45 states and found that from 1978-

4. 2009 the higher the level of disposable income, the higher the incidence of divorce.Chowdhury
argued that during the Great Recession, few employment opportunities and reductions in the
value of marital assets – particularly homes – had forced couples to remain together.“While we
heard some anecdotal evidence of this during the recession, this study shows statistically how
economic crises impact marriage and family, as well as glimpses into why,” Chowdhury
says.Based on this and similar studies, is it safe to say that when faced with economic hardship
that marriages are improving, recalling the “for worse” line in the wedding vows, reading the
manual as it were; thus, avoiding divorce? The study revealed that as the economy started to
slowly recover in 2009 and 2010, pent-up demand for divorce was released and the divorce rates
increased.“It maybe, delayed the divorce,” Chowdhury said of the recession (startribune.com).It
appears that due to families taking a hit financiallybecause of economic turmoilthat the divorce
storm was brewing for a few years until lawyers could be provided for financially. Who though,
gives judges of the earth the power to divorce on such grounds as financial problems? Notice
too, the power many judges possess when it comes to granting a divorce.According to Arizona
law,Judges of the Superior Court are the only authorities who may legally dissolve a couple's
legal marital status and return them to the status of single people(hildebrandlaw.com). Many
courts throughout America follow this same guideline. However, despite financial hardship and
human authority to grant a divorce certificate for financial issues, is that reason enough to
warrant divorce? Examine first, another area why marriage couples consider divorce – lack of
propercommunication.
Fifty percent of marriages that end in divorce are due to lack of communication.Keiji, a
husband who lives in Japan, sometimes forgot that his decisions affected his spouse. “I would
accept invitations without consulting my wife,” he says. “Later, I would discover that it was not

5. convenient for her to keep those appointments.” Allen, a husband in Australia, says: “I felt that it
was unmanly to consult my wife about things.” He faced a challenge because of his background.
It was similar with Dianne, who lives in Britain. She says: “I was used to asking my family for
advice. So at first I would consult them and not my husband when making decisions”
(Watchtower).Remember that God views a married couple as being “one flesh.”In his eyes, no
other human relationship is more important than the one that exists between husband and wife!
To keep that bond strong, good communication is vital.
What is the solution?When discussing matters that will affect your marriage partner,
(1) explain how you would like to handle the situation, but present your thoughts as suggestions,
not as ultimatums; (2) ask your spouse to express his or her opinion, and acknowledge your
spouse’s right to hold a different viewpoint; and (3) “let your reasonableness become known” by
adopting your mate’s preferences whenever possible (Philippians 4:5 NWT). To assess how to
communicate with your spouse and maintain a healthy marital relationship, consult the human
owner’s manual and notice what it points out as to the roll of each family member.
What is the husband’s roll? Some husbands confuse what the Bible says about “wifely
subjection”(Ephesians 5:22 NWT) with what it says about the obedience of a child to his parent.
(Colossians 3:20; 1 Peter 3:1 NWT) However, recall that the Bible says that a husband is to
“stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh”; it does not say the same about a parent and a
child. God describes a wife as a complement, or counterpart, of her husband (Genesis 2:18
NWT). He never refers to a child as being a complement, or counterpart, of a parent. If a
husband treats his wife like a child in the area of communication, is he not ignoring the human
owner’s manual and dishonoring the marriage arrangement?The human owner’s manual urges
husbands to treat their wife in the same manner that Jesus treats the Christian congregation. You

6. can make it easier for your wife to view you as her head if you do not expect her immediately
and flawlessly to express her subjection to you and you “…love her as you do your own
body…”(Ephesians 5:25 NWT)even when difficulties arise. The manual also gives very fine
counsel for wives. What roll does the wife play for a successful happy family?
The manual states: “…the head of a woman is the man...” (1 Corinthians 11:3 NWT). If
you honor your husband, you honor God. If you reject his headship, you reveal how you feel not
only about your husband but also about God and his requirements asit notes: “… is becoming in
the Lord. (Colossians 3:18 NWT).A wife who is guided by the human manual and God’s Holy
Spirit can do much to make her home a place of tranquillity and happiness. It is natural for a
God-fearing husband to love his wife and protect her physically and spiritually. She yearns for
his love, and that requires that she be lovable. “The truly wise woman has built up her house,”
says Proverbs 14:1, “but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” A wise and loving
wife contributes greatly to the success and happiness of her family. She also shows that she
really appreciates God’s gift of marriage.Rather than taking note of ways in which you feel your
spouse ought to change, keep a changes-I-need-to-make list. When a husband may upset his wife
by the way he exercises or fails to exercise his headship, ask your wife how you can improve,
and then write the suggestion down and make the needed adjustments. By the same token when
your husband feels that he is not being shown respect, ask him how you can improve, and take
note of the suggestion and make the needed adjustments. If the married couple decides to have
children, they too can be a valuable asset in contributing to family happiness.
“Honor your father and your mother”: The apostle Paul in discussing this, the fifth of the
Ten Commandments, said it was “the first command with a promise,” namely, “that it may go
well with you and you may endure a long time on the earth.” (Eph. 6:2, 3 NWT) A child

7. claiming to be a Christian is under obligation to be obedient to the command to honor his father
and mother. How does a child render honor, or esteem, and manifest respect for his parents?
Certainly that child must show love for his parents and appreciation for the effort they are
making to care for and train such a child. Children have to learn to respect the judgment and
decisions of their parents. Even when the children may think their individual rights are being
interfered with, they are obliged to be obedient to their “parents in union with the Lord.” (Eph.
6:1 NWT) If children are to “endure a long time on the earth” and have God’s approval for a
future life, they must honor their parents.The pointed counsel of God’s Word at Ephesians 6:1 is:
“Children, be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous.” Obedience
requires recognition of authority. Parents are charged with the responsibility of raising their
children in the ways set forth in manual so as to be pleasing to him. If children have parents who
are interested in their being safeguarded from the immoral world, those parents deserve the loyal
support of their children. Rather than chafing under the authority of such parents, the sensible,
God-fearing child will follow the human manual and be obedient to them, knowing that this has
divine approval, is for his or her own good and promises a secure future.
Many people however, when examining their role in the manual, may claim that humans
are imperfect; they aren’t able to live up to such standards, or perhaps, they simply don’t want to
live according to the manual. But consider, the manual was written with imperfect people in
mind. In addition, would a parent with a measure of mental health and relative stability in their
lives request something of their child if they didn’t have the ability or experience in carrying out
such a task? Is it reasonable to believe that God, being perfect and creator of all humans, would
put something in the manual that he felt couldn’t be achieved by humans? Parents make
reasonable rules and guidelines for their children to benefit them in their lives as they grow up so

8. they can become responsible and happy adults; God, too, has his children’s best interest at heart.
According to the manual, God exclaims: “And there is not a creation that is not manifest to his
sight, but all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an
accounting”(Hebrews 4:13 NWT).
Are there any reasons for divorce in God’s eyes? The manual gives strong admonition in
this area; it shows the only legitimate reason for divorce… “…except on account of fornication,
makes her a subject for adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
(Matthew 5:32 NWT).
When purchasing a product, problems will no doubt arise sooner or later. Consulting the
owner’s manual is beneficial in locating the source of the problem and dealing with the issues.
However, it takes great effort in applying the instructions to receive the desired results.
Similarly, consulting the original, authentic manual on marriage, will help in finding the source
of the main problem. In addition, it’s very clear thatthe manual to a successful marriage can and
will end divorce if the instructions are appliedand each family member carries out their
role.Thus, a happy family life depends not on whether the manual is correct, but rather, applying
the instructions.

9. Works Cited
Arizona Family Law & Estate Planning Attorneys. Hildebrand Law, 25 Apr. 2013. Web. 25 Apr.
2013. <http://www.hildebrandlaw.com/FAQs/Arizona-Divorce-Process.aspx>.
God's Word Translation. Iowa Falls: World, 1995. Print. God's Word Translation.
King James Version. Grand Rapids: Thomas Nelson, 1987. Print. King James Vers.
New International Version. N.P.: Biblia, 2011. Print. New Intl. Vers.
Star tribune. N.P., 24 Apr. 2013. Web. 25 Apr. 2013. <http://www.startribune.com/>.
"Surviving the First Year of Marriage." Watchtower 1 Aug. 2010: 10-13. Print.