1. THE POET
I
Christopher
Every fairytale story starts with “Once upon a time.”
But for my story, it started with a poem.
I am Christopher, and this is my last day. I am
diagnosed with brain tumor, and today is the day
when I am going to face the final challenge.
“Chris, are you ready? You can still back out from
here. You can still postpone your surgery, maybe for
a month if you‟re still not ready.”
But I‟m determined to do this. It‟s a risk, yes, but if I
will get cured, it will be worth it.
“No, mom. I can do this. I have to face this dreaded
day, anyway. I can‟t always run away from my
problem, you know?”
My mother – Cristine – smiled. Then she kissed my
forehead. “Be brave, son. I know that you can do
this. You can be free again. And then you‟ll be with
Alex.” She said with a knowing smile.
I gave her a sad smile, and then I recounted my
best memories so that I can hide the nervousness
that I‟m feeling.
I‟m a talented child. I can do many things, but with
my brain tumor, my parents didn‟t let me do
anything that requires me to spend my energy. So I
spent almost all of my childhood inside the house.
I was home-schooled for six years of my life. I
wanted to get out and explore the outside world,
but mom won‟t let me. She said that it‟s too
dangerous for me, especially in my condition. But I
begged her, and after a whole lot of begging
sessions and promises that I‟d be completely safe, I
convinced her to enroll me in a normal school for
the rest of my High School years.
That had been the second best moment of my life. I
was free again. But that was nothing compared to
my Number One best moment: the moment that I
saw her.
She was also a student from my school. Being the
friendless guy that I am, I was ignorant and lonely
when I stepped on the university. But then I saw her.

2. She was surrounded by her friends, the wind blowing
her beautiful brown hair. She was smiling and
laughing and talking, she seemed so normal
compared to me. I was a loner. A guy with no
friends. Heck, I don‟t even know where my room
was.
A guy wearing a varsity jacket walked past me,
shoving me on the other side in the process. He too
was surrounded with his friends, but unlike the
beautiful girl I saw earlier, they were not laughing
and chatting and sharing gossips. They were
snickering at me, in a not-so-friendly-way.
“Watch where you‟re going, dweeb.” The guy that I
assumed was their leader, said, stepping forward
and grabbing the collar of my jacket. My hood fell
off my head, revealing my messy black hair. I
thought he was going to punch me, but then I
heard an angel‟s voice interrupt the fight brewing.
“Luke, stop right there.” She said while her hands her
are on her waist. She looked angry, but she
managed to pull it off, looking as gorgeous as ever.
Luke – the one holding my collar – looked at her and
then let go of me, and then went back to his pack.
They left, but not before kicking my things that were
scattered there.
She muttered some unflattering comments about
those guys, and then helped me pick my things. I
brushed her hand once, which sent color to rise to
my cheeks. Then she helped me up.
“I‟m so sorry about that. I assume you‟re new here.
I‟m Alexandra, by the way,” she said as she stuck
her hand out. “What‟s your name?”
I stood there, gaping at her, but then I saw her
outstretched hand. I quickly shook it with my own.
“C-Christopher Levine.” God, why am I stuttering?
It‟s so embarrassing!
“Nice to meet you, Christopher.” She said. Then she
gave me a tour on the whole campus. She was so
nice to me; I can‟t help but fall in love to her.
I was right: she is famous in our school. With her
beauty, brains and her kind heart, every boy in our
school fell for her charms. Many courted her, even
Luke, who later became the quarter back of the
football team. But I stayed there, admiring her, but I
can‟t seem to find where my courage has gone
whenever I try to approach her. Sure, she was
friendly, but whenever I see her rejecting other boys
when they ask her out, my knees turn into jelly ace.
So I tried another way to court her without letting her
know that it was me.

3. I made various poems before, but never a poem for
a girl, let alone my feelings for her. But I managed to
write one.
The next day, I went to school early to drop off my
poem inside Alexandra‟s locker. And when she
checked her locker that day, she noticed my poem.
“What‟s that?” her friends said.
She shrugged her shoulders and opened my letter.
Then, while reading my poem, a smile formed on her
lips.
“Girls, look! Someone sent me this!” she smiled and
then showed it to her friends.
I made her smile! I thought giddily as I ran to my first
class. I was so happy that I decided to make her
another one that night. I did the same thing the next
day. Then I saw the same result.
I did it the next day, and the next day, and the next
day, and the next day. I did it every day. I always
sneak early in the morning in our university even if
there‟s no one to see me sneaking.
I always make sure that I leave her a poem a day.
But then one day, when I sneaked up on her again
to see her reaction upon reading my poem, my
heart was crushed into a million pieces.
“Luke, tell me the truth. Were you the one who keep
on giving me these poems?”

4. II
Alexandra
Then I heard the familiar rumble of a car and when I
turned around, I found Luke. He was… well, he was
with his friends.
Why are they here?
For the past two weeks, I‟ve been crying because of
some stupid jock that made me fall in love for him
just to win some stupid bet.
Then he saw me and pointed me to his friends. I
happen to know some of them. He was with
Calvein, Jared, Jason and King. They were also in
the football team of our school.
And I‟m still crying for the same reason now.
“Hey,” I said as I walked to them, smiling.
I still can‟t believe that all of the sweetness that he
made me feel was all for a bet. And I fell for it. I
should‟ve known what those boys are up to. They‟re
in the It-crowd. They do those kinds of stuff.
“Hey there, beautiful.” Luke greeted me. He wasn‟t
wearing his sweet smile now. He was smirking; his lip
curved upwards like there was something he knows
that I don‟t.
But I never thought that I‟d be a pawn in their
games.
“Bro, finish that already. I can‟t wait to go to the bar
already!” Jason yelled. Then the boys hooted like
stupid drunktards.
My mind travelled back to a memory that still pains
me whenever I think about it.
It was our second month anniversary that day. He
told me to wait in the beach that was near our
town. In the cold afternoon wind, the beach was
quite romantic. And the sun was also setting, so it
added to the romantic vibes.
I looked at Luke. “What are they talking about?
What are you going to finish?”
Luke wasn‟t smiling nor smirking now. He looked at
me with something in his eyes: something that I
can‟t quite perceive.

5. The group of boys walked towards us. “What? You
still didn‟t tell her, man?” Calvein asked. His arms
were wrapped with some beautiful girl in her twopiece. What on earth is she wearing? It was already
December, for crying out loud! The water could be
freezing!
“Spill the beans, man.” King said. He also had his
arms around a girl wearing nothing but her bikini.
Seriously? Then I noticed that they all have girls now.
“Luke,” I said then I turned to him. “What are they
talking about?”
“Sorry, Alex, but this was all for a bet. Luke dating
you, being sweet to you? That was just for naught.
He was supposed to dump you a month ago, but
then he was such a wimp to do it. Even now.” Jared
said.
I didn‟t know how, but tears welled up in my eyes.
“Luke?”
“I-I‟m sorry.” Was all he said.
“What kind of prank is this?” I said, faking the jolliness
in my voice. No. they must be kidding me. No, Luke
wouldn‟t do that to me. He loves me.
“Luke?” I asked now, my voice getting louder. He
stayed quiet. Tears are now flowing from my eyes.
His friends stayed quiet, probably gauging the mood
in the air.
“So this was all just for naught, huh?” I asked them
all. My eyes zeroed on Luke and I felt all of my anger
burst when I saw him. I punched him on his chest.
“Why me?!” I shouted while punching him, anger
fueling my arms, telling me to go on. “Why did you
pick me?! What have I ever done to you?! How can
you do this to me?!”
My anger was still raging me inside me, but my arms
were now weak. Even my heart. Did I really deserve
this? What have I ever done wrong to Luke? Did he
know how hard this is for me?
All my life, I just wanted to be loved. When I was still
little, my parents got divorced. I was left to live with
my grandparents, but then they got old and I was
left to care for myself. All I wanted is to find someone
to care for me too.
In our school, everyone admires me. Many boys
wanted me to be as their girlfriend. But I didn‟t trust
them my heart. For all I know, they only want me
because I‟m beautiful. But then I received those
poems. Every day. They make me smile, even if
they‟re silly. It only says that it‟s from a secret
admirer, but I liked it. It was way better than flowers
or chocolates.

6. I have no idea who this secret admirer was, but I
had guesses. But I was a wimp to ask if it was him.
No, it was such a dumb Idea. How can it be him? So
I asked guess number two. And I was right. My secret
admirer was Luke.
But he hurt me. He made me fall in love for him. Now
I know how it feels when you fall in love. When you
fall in love, you can‟t control your feelings. You can‟t
control your fall. You‟ll only know that it hurts when
you hit the ground. And it so damn hurts.
I leaned on him for support because I feel like the
world was spinning all around me. I was gripping his
shirt while sobbing. I feel like breaking down. I
thought that he will make me feel special. I thought
that he‟d never hurt me. I was right. He‟d never hurt
me. Well, that‟s what it felt two for two months.
He was embracing me, rubbing my back,
murmuring „sorry‟ in my ear. Before I knew it, I was
sitting on the sand.
“I‟m really sorry, Alex. Please forgive me. Forget me
and move on. I‟m sorry.” He said and then stood up
to leave me. But before he can take five steps, I
called out, “Luke.”
I heard him stop on his tracks. I need him to answer
this. If all of these were lies…
“Were you… were you the one who wrote me all of
those poems?” I asked. If those poems were also just
for naught, I think I can‟t bear it anymore. Those
were the only ones that made me feel loved. Even if
they‟re only written in paper, they made my heart
melt with those silly words.
“Why?” he asked.
“I… I just need to know.” I sobbed.
He took a deep breath before answering my
questioning me.
“No. No, I wasn‟t.”
And then he left me there, in the beach, crying my
heart out to the chilly December air.

7. III
Christopher
I was being moved to the operating room now, and
I‟m still recounting my best memories.
Unfortunately, my mind stumbled on one memory
that I want to forget. It was the day that I decided
to tell Alexandra the truth: that I really was the one
who wrote her the poems, and not Luke.
With a poem and a rose in my right hand, I headed
for Alexandra‟s locker. Fortunately, she was alone.
Usually, she was surrounded with her friends, but
today was an exemption. She was still not aware of
my presence and she kept staring at her locker,
probably wondering where the poem that she
received daily is.
I was standing a few feet away from her. I gathered
all my courage to do this and muttered “I can do
this” Under my breath.
“Alexandra,” I called out. When she turned around, I
don‟t know who was more surprised: she because
she saw me or me because I saw her bloodshot
eyes. This was a sure sign that she was crying.
Rumors said that Luke and Alexandra broke up. I
wanted to march up to that guy‟s house and punch
him straight in the nose for what he did, but with my
condition, I can‟t. Nobody knew what the reason
behind their break-up was, but somebody saw Luke
at a party with another girl, which really fed more
fuel to my anger for the guy. After saying that he
was the one who wrote her the poems? No.
“C-Chris?” she said, clearly surprised that I was there.
We never saw each other again in personal, but I
always sneaked up on her without her knowing it,
which doesn‟t count. “What are you doing here?”
Then she looked at the paper and the rose on my
hand and then she blushed. “Chris…”
“Look, I-I just want to talk to you in private.”
She looked surprised but then she quickly hid it.
“Please?” I asked.
We are currently sitting under a mahogany tree here
in our university. We are already sitting here for five
minutes but I still can‟t bring myself to confess to her.

8. “What are you –”
“I have something to –”
I stopped in my tracks. I was going to say that I have
something to confess to her but then we spoke at
the same time.
“But, you may have heard the rumors, right? That
Luke and I broke up. That was true. And it still aches
here.” She said and then she pointed at her heart.
“What‟s your point?” I asked.
We laughed an awkward laugh and said “You go
first.”
“My point is that, I still can‟t accept your feelings for
me. It still hurts, and I think I need some time to heal
my heart. To fix it. To make it new again. I don‟t want
to let you expect for something in re-”
She looked at me quizzically. Then we both said at
the same time, “You go.”
“I was the one who really wrote the poems,
Alexandra.” I interrupted.
“No, you go.”
She looked flabbergasted. “What?” she asked in a
small voice.
“No, you go.”
“No, I insist.”
“No, I insist.”
Then we laughed again. “Okay, you go first.” I finally
said alone.
She took a deep breath and then she talked. “Chris,
I know you mean well. I also know that you‟re a
good guy.”
My brows furrowed at her words.
“I was the one who wrote you the poems. Every
night, I write the poems for you and every day, I
wake up early just to make sure that no one can see
me sneaking those letters on your locker. I know it
may seem creepy, Alex, but it was really me.” I
stopped to take a look at her reaction but she was
still frozen by shock. I took this as a sign to go on, to
finish what I have to say.
“Whenever I see you smiling because you read my
poems, my day is already made. Whenever I hear
you talking about it, my heart would burst with joy.
Remember that day, my first day here? It was the
day that I fell for you. Call me a really cliché guy,

9. but this is true. My feelings for you are true. I will
never hurt you, Alexandra. Never.” I said, looking
into her eyes. She was on the verge of crying again,
but I went on.
“I love you, Alexandra Montreal. With all my heart.”
IV
Alexandra
Who knew that my first guess is correct? It was really
him who wrote me the poems. Fate really has a way
on messing with your life.
It still feels like a dream for me. Him confessing to me
that he was my secret admirer and him confessing
that he really loves me. Was all of this true or am I
asleep?
“What?” was my genius reply. What? I was shocked
by his confessions.
“I like and care for you, Alex. From the day that I first
saw you until now.” He said, looking straight in my
eyes. His eyes were green, and I was getting lost in
them.
My heart was beating like crazy in my heart. Why
was it beating so fast?
Was it beating for Chris?
“Alex, I have another thing to tell you.”

10. God, please help me. “W-What is it?”
He took a deep breath and said, “I have brain
tumor. We‟ve been trying to cure it for my entire life
but the tumors keep on growing back.”
My heart felt like it was pounded and turned into
dust. I thought that he was the man for me. I
thought that we can be happy together, that he
can help me fix my broken heart, but no. He has a
condition.
If he dies, I‟ll be left alone again. No one to care for
me, no one to make me happy. There would be no
one to love me, and all of these will happen if he
dies.
“I don‟t know how long will I stay alive and healthy,
Alex. The doctor said that I can only live for a few
more years, max, if my condition gets any worse
than it is.”
I knew it. I knew that this would happen. This is
inevitable for him. His life was on a thin piece of
thread, ready to be cut any time. I also care for him,
my heart tells me so, but I can‟t love a man with the
end of his life already predicted.
“Alex, I want to spend the rest of my life loving and
caring for you. Even if my condition gets any worse,
I‟ll fight it, just to be with you. You‟re the one that
inspires me to fight for my life, Alex. Will you be my
girlfriend?”
His eyes bore into mine, flowing with sincerity. I know
that he really means well, and I know that he‟ll love
me. But I can‟t. He‟ll leave me when I‟ve already
learned how to love him. He‟ll leave me, like how
Luke will. He‟ll break my heart too, and leave me
shattered. And I can‟t let that happen again. Once
is enough. Twice is too much.
My heart tells me to be his girlfriend, to find true
happiness, but my mind fights it. He’ll just leave you,
my brain chants. He’ll break you again.
Tear fell out of my eye. “I-I can‟t, Chris. I‟m so sorry.”
His face fell. Apparently, he didn‟t think that I‟d say
no. “But why?”
I shook my head. “This is not going to work. If – if
anything happens to you, I can‟t handle it. I can‟t
bear to feel the same thing twice.”
“But I still can live for a few more years –”
“A few more years and then what? What, Chris?” I
exclaimed, my voice getting higher than what I
want. “You‟ll just leave me too, Chris. Just like what
Luke did.”

11. “But I can undergo surgery. It might prolong my life!
And I won‟t hurt you like Luke did!”
“Might? MIGHT? And what if it doesn‟t, Chris? What
can you do to save my heart? If I really fell for you
and when you die, you think that I‟ll be happy
again? I can‟t take that, Chris. It‟ll kill me if that
happens.”
I‟m crying now. But even if my eyesight‟s a little
blurry, I can still see Christopher. He‟s also standing
like me now. And he‟s also crying. It pained my
heart to see that I caused him to cry like that. If it
pains me already to see him cry, how will it feel if he
died?
No. I can‟t be with him. I can‟t.
“I‟m so sorry, Chris, but I need someone to stay by
my side forever, not someone who will only be by
my side for a short period of time.” I said. And with
that, I left him there, on his knees, crying, begging
me to come back and be his girl.
V
Christopher
They‟re already injecting me anesthesia and a drug
that‟ll make me sleep for the rest of the operation.
After the nurses left, I began to feel a little dizzy.
This is it, I thought. After this, I’ll come back to you,
Alex. Wait for me.
My mind drifted back to what happened yesterday.
“I’m so sorry, Chris, but I need someone to stay by
my side forever, not someone who will only be by
my side for a short period of time.”
She left me there, crying. I didn‟t even get a chance
to give her my poem and the rose that I grew
myself. She left me there, not hearing my
explanation.

12. I know that she‟s only scared that she‟ll be left
again, just like how Luke left her. It‟ll break her if I die,
but if this operation is successful, then maybe, just
maybe, she can give me a chance.
I didn‟t attend any of my subjects the whole day. I
just went to Alex‟s locker, dropped the poem and
the rose of, and went home to talk to my mother.
I‟m going to tell her that I want to undergo surgery.
This surgery is very complicated and risky, seeing
that my head just grew more tumors than the last
operation. It‟s a miracle that I don‟t get ear-splitting
headaches anymore, but that only means that my
condition has gotten worse.
I didn‟t see her reaction when she saw the poem,
but I hope that it made her change her mind.
I can‟t feel my body anymore, it‟s like I‟m on the
clouds or something. I know that by this time, they
must‟ve been skinning open my skull, but I don‟t
care. As long as this operation is a success, that‟s
when I will be happy.
I love you, Alex. Please wait for me.
VI
Alexandra
I saw the paper that Chris was holding on my locker
that afternoon and the rose, so I know that I was
doomed.
I was expecting to see nothing on my locker from
Chris today, so imagine my reaction when I saw
another poem made just for me.
But instead of reading it now, I just stuffed it on my
bag and went to the parking lot, where my driver
has been waiting.
Since the day that I learned that being Luke‟s
girlfriend was just all for a bet, I never went out
except for school and home. It was my daily routine
now.
When I got home, I went straight to my room. I
dumped my bag on my bed, unbuttoning my
blouse and walking into my bathroom, getting
ready to take a shower. When I was finished, I
opened my bag, taking my notebooks out to do my
homework. While I was getting my things, I noticed a

13. crumpled flower carelessly tucked inside my bag. I
picked it up, and remembered what happened
that morning.
I remembered how Chris cried because of me, and I
felt my heart break again and tears springing up to
my eyes, but I forced the feelings up to a corner. I
convinced myself that that was the best decision for
me.
But was that the best decision for him? Was
breaking his heart worth it on my part? I kept my
heart intact, but I made somebody‟s heart break. I
continuously told him that he might break my heart,
just like what Luke did, but I broke his heart, and
proved that I was no better.
I stared at the withered rose, tears now falling from
my eyes. I wiped them away, and kept the flower at
my desk. I opened my notebooks, and a letter fell
out from it. It was also crumpled and parts of it had
fallen of, like it was wet, but when I touched it, it was
dry.
I opened it, and I felt a whole lot guiltier.
Dear Alex, I made another poem for you. It isn’t
originally made by me, though. I just did some
changes. Nevertheless, I hope you like it.
Roses are red, violets are blue
You’re the one for me, and I’m the one for you
I hate to see you cry, and I love to see you smile
And I wish to stay with even for a while.
But I have this condition, it’s called brain tumor
But I never let that affect my humor
I want to make you happy in every way that I can
So Alex, I’ll ask you this: can you be my Girlfriend?
Can you?
- Christopher
AKA YOUR SECRET ADMIRER
I read and re-read the letter in my hand, unable to
stop the tears now. He really is persistent, isn‟t he?
I want to say sorry to him, to apologize for what I
said. For breaking his heart.
It was a poem, and it was from Christopher.
Maybe his life is on a piece of thread; it can be cut
by Fate anytime. But I want him to spend the rest of
his remaining time being happy.

14. Besides, I also feel something here in my heart.
Everyday, I wished and hoped that it was really him
who gave me the poems. It really made my heart
melt even if I don‟t know who it really was yet. I
don‟t know if this is true love yet, but all I know is that
he makes me happy, and I also know that I make
him happy.
Maybe he‟ll leave me, but no one in our life will ever
stay. It‟s the time that they spent with us that counts.
Time will come that he‟ll leave me, or I‟ll leave him,
but the time that we spent together with each other
will always make me smile, and I know that it will
hurt, but I can never forgive myself if I don‟t try it.
With a determined demeanor, I fixed myself and
called to the intercom.
“Mom? I‟m going out for a while. Please tell the
driver to get the car ready.”
VII
Alexandra
The sky‟s already dark by the time that I went out to
the house‟s parking lot.
The car‟s engine is already running, so I got inside
and I dialed our class president‟s number.
[Hello?]
“Hello, Cedric? Umm, can you give me Christopher‟s
address?”
[Oh, uh, why? Wait – never mind. I‟ll text it to you
right away.]
“Thanks, Ced.” I said and ended the call.
My phone beeped and it was from Cedric. It was
Christopher‟s Address. So I told the driver the
address and he said that he knows where it is. We
sped away immediately.

15. As we were driving, I can‟t help but think of what to
tell him when we meet. Should I apologize or should
I tell him how I feel?
“Manang! Manang! Can I ask you a question?” I
said as she went near the gate. “Does Christopher
Levine live here?”
Maybe I should apologize first, I thought. But what if
he doesn’t want to talk to me?
“Yes. Why did you ask?”
Then maybe you should tell him what you really feel
for him first, a part of me said. Maybe if he knows
that you feel the same way for each other, maybe
he’ll forgive you and hear you out.
“Can I talk to him? It‟s really important.” I said. I
clung to the fabric of my dress, nervousness
gnawing my insides.
“Miss, they‟re not yet home. I think they‟re spending
their night at the hospital.”
But what if he doesn’t want to let me in? I asked.
Apologize first.
My heart nearly leapt out of my ribcage when I
heard the word hospital. “Why? What happened to
Chris?”
No, tell him how you feel!
No, apologize first!
No, tell him how you feel!
“Ma‟am, we‟re already here.” The driver said. Thank
goodness, I thought that my head‟s going to
explode because of the argument inside my head.
The house that was supposed to be his as dimly lit, as
if the family that was living there isn‟t home. I saw
one of the maids there, so I called her.
“I think that he agreed to the surgery that the
doctors advised. It was risky for him, but he insisted. I
think it was because he wanted to be normal to be
able to court a girl. Or at least that‟s what I heard
from the rumors here in the mansion. The operation
already started an hour ago.” She said.
He did it… for me? But they said it was dangerous!
“Um, can you please tell me where the hospital is or
the name of the hospital?”
“I think it was St. Augustine. It‟s just twenty minutes
away from here.” She said. When I heard the name,
I ran towards my car but not after thanking the

16. maid. I stated the name of the hospital to my driver
and he started the car, but the car‟s engine won‟t
start.
“Ma‟am, we ran out of gas,” he said.
“Damn it!” I said and kicked the car‟s wheel. It only
hurt my leg. “How long will it take me to go there on
foot?” I asked him.
“But ma‟am…”
“Which direction is it?” I asked, already pissed off. I
need to go to that hospital right away! Someone I
love is inside one of the emergency rooms there, his
life on the hands of doctors. The idea should calm
me because I know that they‟re experts, but it only
scared me more. If they did one wrong move,
Christopher‟s life will end. And I can‟t handle that. I
can‟t…
He pointed to the right. I ran towards it. Damn,
why‟d I use heels? I stopped and kicked my heels
off. Then, barefoot, I ran to the hospital.
Levine in. they told me that it was in the eight floor
of the building.
I ran to the elevator that was about to close but
luckily, they let me in. some looked at me curiously,
taking in my appearance.
I know that I look like a homeless person right now,
but I don‟t care. It was the only way to reach the
hospital, and instead of waiting for some miracle to
happen, I had to run.
The blinking lights told me that it was already my
floor. I was the first one out. I whipped my head from
left to right, hoping to see Chris‟s mother, but no
such luck.
I ran to one side, but my feet felt like it was weighed
down with sand bags. Negative thoughts flooded
my mind but I pushed them aside. I should focus on
the thing at hand: finding where his family is and
hoping that the doctors brought some good news.
I heard someone crying down the hall. I followed
the owner of the voice.
After thirty minutes of running, tripping, and stopping
over to catch my breath, I finally reached the
hospital. I slammed into the Nurse‟s Information Desk
and asked what operating room is Christopher
Then I saw Christopher‟s parents talking to the
doctor who just came out of the door. I was just
twenty feet away from them, so I heard everything
he had to say.

17. “I‟m so sorry, Mrs. Levine. His tumors are just too
many now. If we do something to remove even one
of them now, it might affect his brain.” He said. Mrs.
Levine slumped back to the chairs beside the door.
Chris‟ father hugged her tightly. The doctor went
back inside to continue the operation.
And I just stood there, paralyzed, staring at the door
that will lead me to Christopher, who was in the brink
of dying right now.
VIII
Alexandra
After so many minutes of just standing there, I finally
willed my feet to walk to his parents. I want to talk to
them, to apologize for being such an ass for not
giving their son a chance.
A chance, that’s all that he needs, I scolded myself.
Why haven’t I given him a chance before?
“M-Mr. and Mrs. Levine,” I said. Their heads shot up
at the mention of their names. They look at me,
shock written in their faces. I went nearer, hoping to
hug them, to comfort them, but I can‟t. My feet
were stuck here.
Mrs. Levine stood up and walked towards my
direction. Her face looked gaunt but determined;
tear-streaked but hopeful at the same time.
I thought that she‟d hug me and comfort me when
she got near.

18. Instead, she slapped me.
“How dare you show your face to us!” she
screamed. Her husband pulled her back, but she
struggled against his arms. “After what you did to
my son?! You dare to show your face here?!”
The slap still stung on my right cheek. Tears welled
up my eyes. “Mrs. Levine, I-I just came here to
apologize…”
“Apologize? For what? For endangering my son‟s
life?!” she shouted. I cringed away from her, but she
didn‟t stop. Her next words were like bullets. It tore
through my flesh and left a permanent scar on me.
“He agreed to undergo the surgery because of you.
Because he wants you to love him like how he loves
you. Because he wants to fix your damn heart! And
you‟re going to repay him with what?! By telling him
that he‟s just gonna leave you one day?! By telling
him that he‟d just break your puny heart?! It was
your fault; this is your entire damn fault! If it weren‟t
for you, he‟d never agree to this because he knew
how dangerous this was to his life. But because of
you, he did it; he signed his own death warrant just
because of you.”
I was crying, but I know that she‟s right. She‟s right: it
was my fault. If only I had given him a chance, then
none of this would ever happen. He‟d never agree
to this operation. I made him do this; I made him put
his life in danger.
Just then, the doctor came out of the room, his
expression hidden behind his mask.
“Who‟s the family?” he asked. Maybe he‟s a new
doctor.
“I am,” we all said at the same time. The doctor
looked at us like he was sorry.
“What happened, doc?” Mrs. Levine asked.
He took off his mask, making the silence unbearable
for all of us.
Then he told us the truth. “His heart gave up. So
does his body. We did everything we can… but…. It
was too late.”

19. IX
Alexandra
I can‟t breathe. I can‟t think. Tears kept on flowing
from my eyes, but inside, I can‟t feel anything. It was
like my heart can‟t take the pain anymore and just
went numb. It was like I was injected with a drug
that can paralyze you, but you‟re awake to feel the
pain.
That… that can‟t be true, right? Christopher… he‟s
alive, right? He‟s so healthy the last time I saw him.
He‟s so warm and full of energy… he even smiled
and laughed with me.
So how can he be dead?
“No, no, no! No he‟s not! You‟re lying!” I screamed
at the doctor. I went near him and punched him.
“You‟re lying! He‟s alive! He can‟t be dead! How
can he be dead? I talked to him a while back! How
can he be dead?” I said as I landed the blows in his
body.
Then I saw the doors. I pushed the doctor. “Let me
in, let me talk to him! I know that he‟s alive! Let me
in! LET ME IN!” I shouted, pushing past him, but he
caged me in his arms.
“You‟re hiding him; you‟re hiding him from us! Let
me talk to him! I know that he‟s alive.”
I looked at his parents who were crying there, not
fighting to get inside. If they believed that
Christopher died, well I won‟t. I won‟t because I
can‟t. I can‟t take it if he really were dead.
“Miss, you can‟t! you‟d just disturb the doctors!” the
doctor shouted while I was struggling in his arms.
“Why aren‟t you trying to get inside the doors?!” I
directed the question to the Levines. “WHY?!”
They didn‟t answer my question, but they only cried
harder.
I glanced at the glass on the door, the one that they
used to peep inside the Operating Room. I saw
doctors scrambling around a body. Chris’s body.
I have to go to him, my mind and heart shouted at
the sight of his body. He’ll talk to me.
I escaped the doctor‟s arms that were caging me. I
quickly went inside, ignoring the shouting of the

20. doctors who were shouting at me to get out of the
room. But how can I get out of this room if the one
whom I care about is inside here, not breathing? But
I refused to believe that he was dead. No, I won‟t
and will never believe in that.
I pushed aside the doctors who were busy reviving
him. They even tried CPR, but to no avail. I pushed
them all aside, and they didn‟t refuse. They just
stood there, and even with the masks can, I can still
see that they already gave up on him and were
giving me sorry faces. NO! How can they give up on
him now? He still has a chance to live! He still has.
I wiped the blood that was on his forehead and
kissed it. He still wasn‟t moving, but that would never
dampen my hopes of reviving him. The doctors
patted my shoulder and said, “Child, I‟m sorry, but
he already gave up. Maybe you should, too.” Then
he went out and so does the other doctors. Only I
stayed there, hoping that he‟ll open his eyes for me,
and tell me that he cares for me.
But he never did.
“Christopher…” I said in a mere whisper. “Please
come back to me.”
Then I told him the things I never got to say to him
when he was still alive.
“I… I love you, Christopher Levine. So please come
back to me.” I said and kissed him on his lips.

21. X
Christopher
I can already see the light. So does this means that
I‟m already dead?
I floated weightlessly around the floor that was
made of nothing but white. Then light blinded me,
and prevented me to see.
“Am I… ” I said unsurely and afraid. “Am I dead
already?”
I heard a voice that sounded like pure happiness
chuckle. I drew a deep breath, but it felt like
inhaling nothing, and when I tried holding my
breath, my lungs didn‟t even burst or something.
“Maybe yes, maybe not, dear child.”
“God? Is that… is that you?”
“Go on, child. It must be confusing for you, because
you are still young.”
“Am I already dead?”
“As I have said a while back, maybe yeas, and
maybe no. You are still in the middle of both worlds,
child. The gates cannot open yet for you.”
“But why?” I asked.
Before God could even reply, I heard someone call
for me. It ricocheted everywhere, calling out my
name.
“That is why, child. Someone is still calling for you.
You still have an unfinished business here on Earth.”
And then I felt something pull me down wards, and
the impact made me sit on my butt, hard. Then it felt
like nothing again, it felt back to normal.
“Even I think that it‟s not yet your time, my boy. The
force also tells me so. The force is the one that
pulled you down. And when that happens, it means
that you‟re not yet dead, and not also alive, but
can go back.”
“Yes, it is I, my child.”
“Can… Can I ask you a question?”
“But I don‟t want to go back. I want to be in
Heaven! I want to be with you!”

22. “And your parents, child? Will you leave them
behind?” God said and then I saw my parents,
weeping at the door of the operating room. It broke
my heart and made me hesitate if I really want to
die now, and leave them behind.
And, tugging on my heart was a hope waiting to be
rekindled, so I asked, “Are they the ones calling
me?”
“There‟s also this girl,” God said, “That waitsfor you to
come back.”
My heart leapt, and then the force pulled me back
again, and this time, more forcefully.
“It‟s up to you, child. You can go back to your life,
but will not remember any of this conversation, or
enter my kingdom, where there is happiness, and
you will forget the pain and sufferings you endured
all your life. What will it be?”
I want to stay here and feel happy forever, but I
thought about my parents… and more importantly,
Alex. Is she thinking about me, right now? Is she
calling out my name?
Then I heard it again: the voice that was calling out
my name. It was much clearer now. It‟s her voice: it
really is her voice.
“I‟ll go back, God. But thanks for the offer, anyway.”
I heard Him chuckle, and, without warning, the
Force pulled me, and this time, I didn‟t pull back.

23. XI
Alexandra
Finally, his eyes opened, revealing his gorgeous blue
eyes. I gasped and hugged him. When I pulled
back, he was surprised, but his eyes shone with
happiness.
“You came back…” I said, still not quite sure if all of
these were true. “You really came back!” I said as I
tackled him into another hug. Without meaning to, I
also cried.
I kissed him, and then I heard the beeping of the
machine that signal that his heart was beating.
“Yeah, I came back.” He said, “I came back for
you.”
Then I heard the door burst open, and when I pulled
back, I saw is parents, standing there, unable to say
anything. Then my mind started to work, taking in
that his heart was beating…
I grabbed his shoulders, breaking the hug, and said,
“Promise me you‟ll never leave me again.”
HIS HEART WAS BEATING!
I looked at him, and I rested my head on his chest.
Sure enough, I heard the constant beating of his
heart. I pulled back, a huge smile plastered on my
face. His fingers started to move, and so does his
eyes.
“Chris… Chris wake up!” I said to him, encouraging
him to open his eyes. His parents ran to his side, still
saying nothing to the miracle happening before
them.
He laughed before saying, “Yes. I‟ll never leave you
again. Like ever.”
And with that, I kissed him again, thankful to God for
giving me back Christopher, the person whom I
really care and love most.
And I won‟t let him go again, whatever happens.
Because I can‟t take it if he will ever leave me. He
makes me happy, and I will too.
I never felt more loved when I read those poems he
sent me every day, even when I don‟t really know
who sent me those poems first.

24. Epilogue
I fell in love with this silly boy, and I will never let him
out of my grasp ever again.
After the night that Christopher came back,
Alexandra took care of him ever since. When the
doctors came back, they were surprised to see the
boy who died came back to life. They were also
surprised to see that the tumors that grew in his head
miraculously disappear. He became healthy again,
but Alex still insisted to take care of him.
Alexandra
“Can I open my eyes now?” I asked him.
“Not yet.”
After five minutes, I asked him again but his answer
was still the same. He just appeared at my doorstep
that afternoon, and then Christopher kidnapped
me. Well, not really kidnapped, but he put a
blindfold on me and carried me to his car. I swear, if
he‟s up to no good again, I‟ll go all Jackie Chan on
his butt.

25. We have been a couple ever since he came back
to life. He never stopped caring for me and loving
me and making me feel special, and eventually, my
broken heart was healed and was filled with love for
him. Today is our sixth anniversary.
We sat there and then someone brought the food
out. We ate and ate and talked about random
things. That‟s another thing I love about Christopher.
He has this way that makes me take things lightly,
and talking to him never felt awkward.
Then, finally, the car stopped, and he opened my
door. He guided me to somewhere, but not taking
the blindfold off.
Finally, the chef gave us the desert. He gave Chris a
slice of a Black Forest cake, and he gave me a small
serving of Chocolate Mousse. I thanked him and
proceeded to taste it. But Christopher wasn‟t eating
his cake. He said that it was okay, but I felt
something wrong. Nevertheless, I ate my mousse.
“Okay, we‟re here already.”
“Can I take the blindfold off now?” I asked. Then I
felt the blindfold loosening, and when he finally took
it off, I said, “what are you up…to…this…time.” my
voice wouldn‟t work when I saw where we really
are.
We are at the beach, and before us is a candle lit
dinner, with the waves lapping at the shore just
beside us.
“Wha--?”
“Surprise.” He said while smiling at my reaction. “You
really thought that I would forget that today is our
anniversary?”
The mousse was really good, but then I bit
something hard. I tried biting it again, but it was just
so hard that even my teeth hurt. So I took a napkin
and spit the thing out, and was surprised to see a
silver ring with diamonds lining on it.
“Alex…” Christopher said. “You and I really had fun
over the years that we were together. We stayed
strong for six years already, and I‟m thankful for that.
But the love that I feel for you isn‟t just a simple high
school love anymore. I love you with all my life, Alex.
And I want to spend my life with the woman I love.
So Alex, I‟m asking you….” Christopher looked
nervous and at the same time hopeful. “Will you
marry me?”
I smiled and hugged him.
I wasn‟t able to say anything at first. I was just
speechless. I never really thought that someone

26. would love me the way I wanted to be loved. But
then, Chris came. He just made me feel special. And
I can‟t let him out of my grasp anymore. I love this
silly guy in front of me, and I‟m ready to spend my
life with him too.
“Yes, Christopher. I will marry you,” I said as I smiled
at him. I know that he‟ll love me until the day that I
die.
And I‟m ready to do the same for him.
The End