SYRO - MALABAR FAMILY TRADITION.

1. OUR FAMILY TRADITION

2. Thoma margam was the term used for the typical traditions
practiced by the St. Thomas Christians. By the preaching of the
Apostle Thomas the people received Jesus according to their
religious, linguistic, cultural background. In the early times of the
Church, faith was handed down, from one generation to the next,
mainly through family-centred catechesis and customary practices.
Spirit of tolerance, friendly relations and peaceful co-existence
with other religions were important life styles of Marthoma
Christians.
MARTHOMA CHRISTIANS

3. MARRIAGE
Fixing the Marriage, engagement, and crowing ceremony were the three
most important steps in a marriage. At the residence of the woman in the
presence of the parish priest, the fixing of the marriage was done by holding
the hands by the fathers or guardians of the couples. The guests used to put
rings in the fingers of the couples and a virunnu was given on that occasion.
Fixing of the marriage was done sometimes in the Church also. The share
of the father to be given to the daughter was fixed at this time.

4. Engagement was a function conducted in the Church.
The boy used to entrust a ring to the parish priest to be given to the girl.
On a fixed day, the girl used to come to the church, and four virgins take the ring and put it on the figure of the
girl saying this particular boy wants to marry you and has entrusted the ring to be given to you. If the girl
denies it, the marriage remains cancelled and if she was to keep silence which is a sign of acceptance, they
proceed with the marriage ceremony.
ENGAGEMENT

5. CROWNING
Crowning ceremony was the real marriage. In the chalice half
filled with water, the ring that was accepted by the woman was
to be dipped. After long prayers, the couples drink water from
that chalice and then the groom puts the ring in the fingers of
the bride. Then took place the crowning ceremony and the
crown was made up of red, white and blue flowers. Sometimes
both man and woman wore crowns was made up of gold.

6. ARRANGED MARRIAGE
In an arranged marriage, while the meeting of the spouses is arranged by
family members, relatives or friends, the spouses agree of their own free
will to marry.
The marriage was usually on Sundays; but the celebrations lasted four
days.
After the death of one partner, the other was permitted to get married after a
year. Divorce was unheard among them.
Arranged marriages were very common throughout the world until the 18th
century and this is increasingly common in the Syro-Malabar tradition till
today including in migrant families.

7. BRIDAL PROCESSIONS
The wedding processions to the church and from the church were royal and very important part
of the marriage ceremony. For this occasion, the Thomas Christians made use of the high
privileges of using palanquin (antoolam), elephants to ride on (ambāri), royal silk umbrellas
(muthukuta), day lamps (pakalvilakku), walking clothes (pāvāta), band (panjavādyam), people
for shouting (natavili by men and kurava by women), body guards, fore-runners to clear the way,
carpets, ornaments, slaves and many others. This procession is not practiced now-a-days.

8. TALI
 The most important rites found exclusively in the marriage celebration of Thomas
Christians are the rites of tying the tāli and offering the Mantrakoti.
 The Christian tāli or minnu is made in gold, has 21 minute balls embossed on it in the
form of a tiny cross. It seems that 21 balls are calculated to be 3 persons in Holy
Trinity and 7 sacraments (3x7=21). For the Thomas Christians, the tāli, is a sacred
symbol of the strong bond and intimate union between the spouses. When she died,
the tāli was deposited in the treasury box of the parish church.
 On the eve of the marriage the twine with which the tāli is tied is prepared in the
house of the bridegroom. Usually threads are taken from the wedding garment,
the mantrakoti. Three threads were twisted into one and out of seven such composite
strands the final cord was prepared. For the Christians, three may represent the Holy
Trinity, and seven may stand for the seven sacraments.

9. MANTRAKOTI
 The mantrakoti is the nuptial vestment for the bride presented by the bridegroom. Even though
the East Syrian tradition has the rite of the blessing of the nuptial vestment, the St. Thomas
Christian custom of mantrakoti seems to have originated from a Hindu custom.
 Mantrakoti is the symbol of the intimate union of life between bridegroom and bride. To vest
someone shows the intimacy between the persons.
 The groom adorns the bride with the mantrakoti as if it were clothing for both of them. Adorning
the bride with the mantrakoti is understood as the couple putting on Christ.

10. WEDDING RING & BRIDAL BOUQUET
 Among the Eastern Catholics, the exchange of rings is not technically part of
the wedding service, but rather is exchanged at the betrothal. It is always a two-
ring set given to the bride and bridegroom by the priest after the blessing and
the couples exchange the rings placing them into each other’s finger.
 The bouquet formed part of the décor worn by both the bride and groom. It was
considered a symbol of happiness. Originally bridal bouquets were made of
herbs, which had magical and meaningful definitions for the couple's future
life.
 Ancient uses included herbs, not flowers, in bouquets because they felt herbs --
especially garlic had the power to cast off evil spirits. Later, flowers replaced
herbs and took on meanings all their own.

11. BRIDE TO THE HOUSE OF GROOM AND
WEDDING BANQUET
 Receiving the bride to the Groom’s house is a very meaningful ceremony
practiced by the families. The bridegroom’s mother in the traditional Kerala
style with a bell metal lamp with a metallic handle
(nilavilakku orkuttuvilaku) and a bushel heaped up with grain welcome the bride.
 The couple stand facing the entrance and are welcomed with sprinkling of
nellum nirum, which are symbols of light and prosperity and fertility cum
coronation rite.
 A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of
a marriage ceremony. A sumptuous feast served on folded leaf which is
symbolically of the royal way of eating out of double leaf.

12. MADURAMVEKKAL
 On the occasion of the marriage, traditionally madhuram vekkal was practiced two times.
 The first ceremony is held in the respective homes of the bride and the groom, a day prior to the church
wedding.
 On the previous day of the marriage, where all the relatives, neighbours and friends come together, they
celebrate the single status of the person for the last day and say good bye to the single status.
 The second madhuram vekkal is done at the reception of the bride and groom which is given to both of them
in a very solemn way by the eldest person of the family.
 This ceremony reminds that the life they begin together should become sweet as the madhuram they accept.

13. PIOUS CUSTOMS RELATED TO CHILD BIRTH
 The word, Maraan Iso Misiha (Our Lord Jesus Christ) and the child’s name were whispered
into its ear (nāmakarama).
 The father of the child used to mix a little honey or milk with gold and vayambu (an ayurvedic
medicinal plant) and put this mixture into the mouth of the child 36 hours after its birth.
 After 6 months, the child was taken to the church, with fine dresses for giving hard food,
which was feeding the child with boiled rice (choruttu). The child was placed in the lap of the
mother and the priest used to give three times the blessed palchoru in the mouth of the child.
 At the age of 4, the children were placed at the lap of the teacher (āshan), who initiated the
children for writing the alphabets for the first time in a plate of rice (Ariyiliruttu or
ezhuthininuthu).

14. SACRAMENT OF INITIATION
 In the early centuries, the baptism was on the 8th day remembering the dedication of Jesus in
the temple. Now-a-days the children were baptised on or after the 40th day after the birth
according to the East-Syrian formula.
 Close relatives of the child such as the grant parents or uncles and aunties were the God-
parents.
 The children were given biblical names with modifications suited to the Malabar tastes, in
particular those of the paternal and maternal grandparents for the first and second child
respectively.
 On this occasion, people used to offer money to priests and to the church.

15. RITUALS TO THE DYING
 Tying palm leaves with biblical verses to the body of the sick, drinking of water
mixed with the soil taken from the tomb of St. Thomas at Mylapore by the sick
and the dying are some of the traditional practices performed by the St. Thomas
Christians.
 Till the moment of death, the relatives and neighbours used to accompany the
person, chanting or reciting the prayers sometimes in the in the ears of the dying
(chevittorma).
 As soon as the person breathed his last, the toes and thumbs were tied with a
piece of cloth. Usually, the dead body was placed facing the East at home and
also at the graveyard.
 After a few hours of the death, his body was washed, dressed with fresh cloth
(kodithuni) and anointed with perfumed oil and was exposed before the
community to pay due homage. During the time at
home, puthenpāna, thomaparvam, and other prayers were recited by the relatives
and neighbours.

16. COMMEMORATION OF THE DEAD
 After the burial service, the members of the family would gather in the house in the presence of the parish
priest and say special prayers for the dead and sprinkle holy water to purify the house.
 The priest used to bless a tender coconut (karikku) and drink from it and distributed among the relatives.
 After the liturgical prayers of the occasion, the priest would bless jirakam (cumin seed).
 Then all people one after another would come and accept the peace (Kastuuri) from the extended hand of the
priest and take a few seeds of jirakam to eat. Thus they break the fast after burial.
 The relatives and friends of the deceased used to pray and eat together at the house of the dead for a week and a
7th day special prayers were conducted. Like high caste Hindus, the Thomas Christians also
practised Pulakuli or ritual bath on the 11th day after the burial, for the purification from the defilement due to
the death of a member of the family.
 There were also special observances for the commemoration of the dead on the 7th, 11th, 16th, 28th, and 41st
day after the demise.

17. HOUSE BLESSING
 St. Thomas Christians considered construction of houses to be a holy
ceremony. In the villages, they constructed houses facing the east or north.
 Laying the foundation stone was a ceremony done by the head/s of the
family but now it is done very often in the presence of the parish priest. A
corner stone used to be prepared and blessed by the parish priest
embossing a cross in it. Medals of the saints are usually placed in the
corner stone as well as in different corners of the foundation of the house
too.
 Once the construction of the house is over, it was a practice to dedicate the
house to the Lord, blessing the house by the Parish priest.
 During the preparation for the blessing, near the family altar, a
traditional para and nilavilakku are kept on the floor.
 Before beginning the ceremony, the people used to gather at the courtyard
and the parish priest used to give the key of the house to the head of the
family who will open the main entrance of the house and invite everyone
to enter into the prayer hall.

18. HOLY WEEK AND FAMILY TADITIONS
A. HOSANNA SUNDAY
 Nalpatham velli (40th Friday), Friday before the Hosanna Sunday used to be a reminder for the
last ten days of lent. The families started rigorous lent. The Saturday between the nalpatham
velli and hosanna was specially celebrated with special edibles such
as kozhikotta and pichampodi those in round and rectangle size.
 These edibles are to remind the hospitality of Martha and Marian in the house of Lazarus.
 In some areas the tradition is to remind of the different types of stones, taken by the soldiers to
throw Jesus.
 On hosanna Sunday, the tender coconut leaves were brought to home and each member used
to keep the leave in his room, a symbol of protection from evil.

19. B. APPAM MURICKAL ON MAUNDY THURSDAY
 On Maundy Thursday (Pesaha Vyazham), as a part of the family
celebration of the Passover Feast, a special unleavened broad was made
(Pesaha appam) which is also called inri appam. INRI (Iesus
Nazraenus Rex Iudeorum) appam is very much Biblical.
 Tender coconut leaves, blessed on Hosana Sunday was used to form the
cross on the appam. The eldest member of the family would lead the
prayer together with the reading of the biblical passage and would break
this bread with hands and share it with other members of the family
from the eldest to the youngest. The bread was received in the hands
with the same respect as if receiving Holy Communion.
 Together with this, a special drink was also prepared with rice flour,
coconut milk, and jaggery which represented the wine of the Last
Supper.
 It is to be noted that Appam murickal in the parish churches or family
units is not a substitute to the Pesaha Appammurickal traditionally
observed in the family.
 This bread and milk were not given to the non-Christians nor be kept
for the next day.

20. C. HOLY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY
 On the Fridays of the great fast and during the days of the Holy Week the family members
would sit together and read the Puthenpāna, the passion narrative of the Lord.
 That day people used to avoid all types of entertainment and just observed as the day of the
Lord in fasting and prayer.
 On the Holy Friday, a bitter drink (kaipunēr) from the vegetable was prepared and drunk by
the family members.
 Nagarikanickal is not a correct practice.
 Veneration of the cross and mystery of the cross is the correct practice.

21. FASTING AND ABSTINENCE
 According to tradition, the Syro-Malabar Church had about 180 days of
abstinence. During the days of abstinence, the faithful abstained from meat, fish,
egg, milk, milk products, chewing of betel, smoking, alcohol, conjugal
relationship, etc. The days of abstinence are on all days of Lent (49 days), period
of Annunciation (24 days), all days ofMoonnunombu (3 days), Ettunombu (7
days) and Pathinanjunombu (14 days) and previous day of the transfiguration of
our Lord.
 All the family members who have completed the age of fourteen and those who
enjoy normal health are obliged to observe fast and abstinence. Fasting is
obligatory on the first day of the Lent (vibhuthi -Ash Monday) and on Good
Friday but also recommended on all Fridays in Lent. On days of Fasting only one
full meal may be taken. Having a very solemn vegetarian lunch on the fasting
day seems to be a wrong custom.

22. FEAST AND VENERATION TO THE SAINTS
 CHRISTMAS AND BAPTISM
 Making the crib, decorating the house with lights are the family traditions for
Christmas in order to make sure Christ remains the focus of our family's
celebration. There used to be only the night Mass for Christmas.
 Among the important feasts was Epiphany. This feast was known in various
names such as epiphany, rākkuli, pindikuthi, etc. in different places.
 Rākkuli (night bath) was more a ceremonial bath in the pond or river near to the
houses remembering the baptism of Jesus, which was more a symbol of
personal purification.
 In North Kerala it was called pindikuthi perunnal when feast torches were
lighted usually on pinti or plantain trunk during night and it was more a
communitarian proclamation of Jesus as the light of the world calling him ‘el
paiya’ (God is bright) in Syriac meant God is the light.

23.  SPECIAL DEVOTION TO HOLY MARY AND VANAKKAMASAM
According to age-old oriental tradition, as special devotion to Blessed Virgin Mary,
the Mother of God, Ettunombu was observed in preparation for the nativity of
Mother of God and pathinanjunombu in preparation of the Dormition
(Assumption) of the Holy Mary Mother of God. In a recent origin, the month of
October is especially dedicated for praying Rosary and the month of May is
observed for special devotion (vanankkamasam) in honour of Mother Mary.
 FEAST OF ST THOMAS
 The feast of St. Thomas on 3rd of July has been always called Dukhrana.A Syriac
word, Dukhrana means remembrance or commemoration. Sradham or cattam,
the anniversary of the death of St. Thomas their father of faith, was celebrated
very solemnly among all St. Thomas Christians.
 Pilgrimage to Malayattoor where St. Thomas is believed to have prayed, is even
today made by many Christians on the occasion.

24.  FOOD FOR THE POOR
Another act of charity and prayer performed by the families especially related to the feast of
St. Joseph on 19th March. A poor family is invited to the Christian families representing the
Holy Family and they are given sumptuous food for one time. This poor family is respected
like honourable guest which is a sign of a great spirituality and prayer.

25. THEERTHADANAM, VAZHIPADU, KANIKKAAND PRASADAM
 In the early centuries, the faithful used to go to Mylapore either in groups or individually, to pray at his
tomb. Apart from the Mylapore pilgrimage, the Christians started the visit to Kodungaloor too. During the
pilgrimage, they used to sing the songs traditionally sung and make it a prayerful experience
 Thērthadanam was part of vazhipādu or nercha (Commitment). In order to gain some special blessings and
favours, the faithful with devotion made this commitment to God that they would make a serious sacrifice in
their life
 Kanikka is the love offering offered at the box kept in the pilgrim place.
 And prasadam is that which given from the pilgrim centre to the devotee which was an edible or something
useable.

26. FAMILY PRAYERS
ESHO MISHIHAKKU STHUDHIAAYIRIKKATTE
 It is a popular saying among the St. Thomas Christians while they meet others
especially the priests and religious, praising God they say, Praise be to Jesus
Christ. All members of the family greet each other with this praise prayer daily.
 This greeting prayer was helpful to unite the family members in love and
communion.
 All the family issues, anger and pains were melted out with this greeting daily
before going to bed.

27. PRAYER ROOM
 From early times people have been making altars where they live, turning their domestic
place into a sacred space.
 In some families a room was set apart for the prayers and whereas in others a corner of their
main room was set apart for prayer.

28. DEDICATION OF THE BIBLE
 In each family, at the centre of the family Altar, a Bible is placed with due respect.
DAILY FAMILY PRAYER
 Hearing the Church bells chiming, thrice a day, the angelus prayer was recited in the
family. After the evening church bell, the family with all the members together started the
family prayer, begun with the Angelus and then the Rosary.
HOLY WATER
 After the blessing of the Holy Water on Holy Saturday, the families bring the holy water
home and place it near the entrance of their home. It is kept at the font beside the front
door and each time those who go out and come in, bless themselves with the Holy Water.

29. FAMILY CENTRED CATECHETICAL FORMATION AND
BASIC FAMILY VALUES
 The basic catechism and prayers were taught by the grandparents and parents in the
families. In the early times of the Church, faith was handed down from one generation to
the next mainly through community and family-centred catechesis by means of reciting
the prayers and customary practices.
 St. Thomas Christians led a life in joint-families. The grandfather, if absent, the father
was the head of the family. Showing respect to others is so common that they are
particular not to sit in the presence of their parents, seniors, elder brothers and superiors
of any kind. All the relatives of both father and mother were respected and invited to be
part of any family celebration.

30. FAMILY TRADITION FOR STABLE SOCIETY
 One can admire at the stability of the families of St. Thomas Christians. In fact the families with
the strongest ties tend to have the most traditions because such traditions create and reinforce a
sense of security among the family members.
 Customs that contribute to a family's uniqueness can give its members a sense of who they are and where
they belong. It gives us a chance to say, "this is the way our family does it.“
 Meaningful customs build a sense of closeness that endures even long after children are grown and gone.
 Family customs related to spirituality are much more than simple words or acts. The stable families are
the foundation stones and pillars of a stable society.

31. LAMB OF GOD
BLESS OUR FAMILY
BLESS OUR CHURCH

32. THANK YOU
BY FR. JOHN KOOVAKUNNEL