2. Agenda
Common Writing Errors:
 10. Incorrect spacing
 11. Missing Words.
You should have one copy of your draft.
 In-class writing: Eliminating passive voice; draft writing
Review; MLA review; Open to all past topics--bring your
questions.
 Discussion: Peer Review Preparation; Rhetorical
Strategies

3. Common Writing Errors:
Incorrect spacing Missing Words.
This error can be corrected  This error too can be
by careful reading. Turn on corrected by careful
your grammar checker. reading, especially reading
aloud.
 e.g. Several qualities will
mark the successful  e.g. Her efforts to prepare
candidate:confidence, were as much and more
trustworthiness, than sufficient.
competence-- and desire.

4. Eliminating Passive Voice
 A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an
action into the subject of a sentence. That is, whoever or
whatever is performing the action is not the grammatical subject
of the sentence. Take a look at this passive rephrasing of a
familiar joke:
 Why was the road crossed by the chicken?
 Who is doing the action in this sentence? The chicken is the one
doing the action in this sentence, but the chicken is not in the
spot where you would expect the grammatical subject to be.
Instead, the road is the grammatical subject. The more familiar
phrasing (why did the chicken cross the road?) puts the actor in
the subject position, the position of doing something—the
chicken (the actor/doer) crosses the road (the object). We use
active verbs to represent that "doing," whether it be crossing
roads, proposing ideas, making arguments, or invading houses
(more on that shortly).

5.  Once you know what to look for, passive constructions are
easy to spot. Look for a form of "to be" (is, are, am , was,
were, has been, have been, had been, will be, will have been,
being) followed by a past participle. (The past participle is a
form of the verb that typically, but not always, ends in "-
ed." Some exceptions to the "-ed" rule are words like
"paid" (not "payed") and "driven." (not "drived"). Here's a
sure-fire formula for identifying the passive voice:
 form of "to be" + past participle = passive voice
 For example:
 The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon's fiery
breath.
 When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think of ways
to delay her remarriage.

6.  Let's briefly look at how to change passive constructions
into active ones. You can usually just switch the word order,
making the actor and subject one by putting the actor up
front:
 The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon's fiery
breath.
 becomes
 The dragon scorched the metropolis with his fiery breath.
 When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think of ways
to delay her remarriage.
 becomes
 After suitors invaded her house, Penelope had to think of
ways to delay her remarriage.

7. Practice
 It was located in the typical, newly built high school
that favored its athletic department due to all the
banners that were hung up on the walls.
 There were eight blue tables, which were always dirty,
lined up in the patio.
 The air was filled with the competitive spirit as our rival
school had come to our town to play basketball.
 The San Marino High School Gym was filled with incessant
cheering, and the bleachers were filled from side to side.
 There were posters and banners across every wall, and
they made the gym look like an art gallery made of paper.

8.  The newly built high school, which housed the event,
favored its athletic department; colorful banners
decorated virtually every wall of the gym.
 Eight perpetually-dirty, blue tables lined the patio.
 The sounds of competitive spirit floated in the air as
our rival school had come to our town to play
basketball.
 Incessant cheering filled the San Marino High School
Gym; students crowded into the bleachers.
 Posters and banners hung from every wall, making
the gym look like an art gallery made of paper.

9. 4. I was so happy to be part of my aunt Sara’s wedding
even though the dress was ugly.
5. The cruise ship was gorgeous, huge, and luxurious. It
had everything to keep us entertained.
6. Although this office was quite small, it was full of
people working in it. It was just a branch office of the
head quarter’s office. The atmosphere in this office was
lively.
.

10. 4. I was so happy to be part of my aunt Sara’s wedding even though the dress
was ugly.
The thought of participating in my Aunt Sara’s wedding thrilled me even
though I had to wear the ugly dress.
5. The cruise ship was gorgeous, huge, and luxurious. It had everything to
keep us entertained.
The cruise ship, gorgeous, huge, and luxurious, had everything to keep us
entertained.
6. Although this office was quite small, it was full of people working in it. It
was just a branch office of the head quarter’s office. The atmosphere in this
office was lively.
This small branch office boasted a lively atmosphere full of enthusiastic
working people.

11. Get out a copy of your
draft
 Eliminate passive voice in your essay by finding and
changing “to be” verbs into more active verbs.

12. Review MLA
 Last name and page number in header, on right side,
.5 inches from the top.
 Heading double-spaced and correct
 Title is original, centered, not bolded or underlined.
 Margins are 1” all around
 Quotations, summaries, and paraphrases are cited
correctly.
 A Works Cited page contains a complete list of
sources used in the preparation of the essay.

13. Homework
 Revise your draft. Prepare three copies for the revision
process:
 Highlight sections in the following colors:
 Thesis (yellow);
 Concept Definitions (green);
 Classification (blue);
 Comparison and Contrast, Process Narration, Cause and Effect
(pink);
 Quotations and in-text citations(gray)
Prepare for Peer Review "If You Are the Writer" p179