1. Success For All Writers
with Mentor Texts
2012 PSU York Summer Institute
LYNNE R. DORFMAN
AND
ROSE CAPPELLI

2. from Mentor Texts: Teaching Writing Through Children’s
Literature
Mentor texts become our coaches and our partners
as we bring the joy of writing to our students. They
help students envision the kind of writer they can
become; they help teachers move the whole writer,
rather than each individual piece of writing,
forward. Writers can imitate the mentor text and
continue to find new ways to grow.

10. Authority Lists
Lynne’s List: Rose’s List:
 Horses  Playing the violin
 Dogs  Golf
 Humpback Whales  Motherhood
 Poetry  Gardening
 Care of house plants  Birds
 Letter writing  Teaching children how
to read

11. Redefining a list for specificity: Horses
 Grooming a horse
 Caring for the equipment
 Dressage moves
 Jumps for a hunter course
 Divisions of a horse show
 Open jumping
 Olympic competitions
 English vs. Western
 Judging a horse show
 Thoroughbred racing

12. Turn and Talk

15. How Do Authors Reveal Their Characters?
 Physical description
 The character’s actions
 What the character says
 What other characters say about him/her
 How they change

16. Gestures to Enhance Memoir, Realistic Fiction, Personal
Narratives, and Vignettes
From “Mrs. Buell” in Hey World, Here I Am! By Jean Little
In winter she wore the same sweater every day, a man’s gray one, too
big, with the sleeves pushed up. They kept slipping down and she’d
shove them back a million times a day. Yet she never rolled up the cuffs
to make them shorter. (p. 44)
Her going had left a hole in my life. Because I knew, for the first time,
that nothing was safe – not even the everyday, taken-for-granted
background of my being. Like Mrs. Buell, pushing up her sweater
sleeves and giving me my change. (p. 46)

17. From The Watsons Go to Birmingham – 1963 by
Christopher Paul Curtis
Me and Joey cracked up. Byron kind of chuckled and Momma put her
hand over her mouth. She did this whenever she was going to give a
smile because she had a great big gap between her front teeth. If
Momma thought something was funny, first you’d see her trying to hide
the gap, then, if the smile got to be too strong, you’d see the gap for a
hot second before momma’s hand would come up to cover it, then she’d
crack up, too. (p. 4)
“And Mrs. Watson,” said Dad, “you can’t possibly deny that this is your
child. You can tell this boy has got a ton of Sands blood in him, look at
those ears!”
Poor Byron. If he’d have known how far his ears stuck out to the side I
bet he never would have gotten that butter!
Momma put her hand over her mouth and said, “Lord, don’t blame that
on my side of the family, someone switched this child at the hospital!”
(p. 98)

18. Notebook Entries: Gesture Use
He touched his chin as thinking.
Little Johnny threw his hands in the air. “Daddy.”
He pressed his hair back with both hands. “My dad is going to kill me.”
She shoved her hands deep into her pockets and slouched, as if trying to
hide.
She held her palm out to him. “Whatever.”
She stared at her feet. As if her fingers had a mind of their own, they
played with her coat zipper.

19. In “The Irishman” by L. Dorfman
“What’s a tea cozy?” I whispered to April. I stole
a quick glance. She was leaning slightly forward, her
thin hair - the color of winter wheat - hanging limp
and damp around her shoulders. She shrugged her
shoulders – one small movement – and continued to
sit still and silent on the crooked wooden chair.
Perhaps she didn’t want to shift her weight on a
fragile chair that was destined to be broken and
discarded. But everything about April was
understated. She was definitely my polar opposite,
and I loved hanging out with her.

20. Reflection Questions
How did the description of character help your readers (peer
response group/teacher) to visualize him or her?
How did your snapshot of the character help create a certain
mood for the story or essay?
What strategies did you use to create a strong, clear
description of the character?
How can you use “show, not tell” strategy here?
Where would you use this strategy again?

27. The Importance of Introductions
When I introduce leads to young writers, I ask them to
think about fishing, to imagine the writer as an angler
and the reader as a fish. Writers cast out their first line
of words in hopes of hooking the reader and reeling
him into the text.
Stephanie Harvey, Nonfiction Matters: Reading,
Writing, and Research in Grades 3-8
It’s important that they [students] get a sense of the
range of options available for writing an introduction.
Portalupi and Fletcher, Nonfiction Craft Lessons

28. The Importance of Endings
…the ending is as important as the beginning.
The ending is the part that will echo in the ear of
the reader when he or she is finished.
Portalupi and Fletcher, Nonfiction Craft Lessons
Your ending should be made to stick! Etched in
their minds and hearts. Unforgettable.
Frank Murphy, children’s author

29. An anecdote from Rose’s Notebook…
It was a hot summer afternoon that was
perfect for relaxing in the sun. So I spread out a
blanket in my backyard and lay down to catch
some rays. I removed my shiny silver watch but
carefully placed it on the blanket next to my head
(I wanted to be sure not to stay out in the sun too
long). Suddenly, I felt something dive-bomb my
head while a flurry of feathers brushed my face.
It was gone in a second, but so was my watch.
What would a bird want with a watch, I
wondered?

30. Possible nonfiction topics:
How Birds Build Nests
How to Attract Birds
Nesting Materials

31. Once I went to my uncle’s house. All my
cousins were there. They were lifting a canoe
and there was a snake. It was black and had a
yellow stripe down its back. Charlie got bit. We
had fun except for Charlie.
Andrew, Grade 2
Possible topics:
Snakes
First aid for snake bites

32. Leads: A Great, First Sentence
Some Additional Examples
Foreshadowing:
If only Billy had known that he was tall enough to ride the “Rolling Thunder.” Why did he
always talk before he thought things out?
Short, Choppy Statement:
No. No. I’ll never do that again!
Name Statement:
I, Lyddie Jones, will never, ever take my younger brother to an amusement park with my
best friends.
Thoughtshot:
“Why am I afraid to tell my sister how I feel?” Billy thought to himself.
Personification:
The old cars moaned and groaned as they were pulled up the wooden track by invisible
hands.

33. Creepy Statement:
The track rose up like a dark spirit across the blue sky, turning my insides to mush.
Weather:
A soft rain spattered against the car windows as we drove down the New Jersey Turnpike.
But there was a ray of hope – poking between dark clouds with golden spokes.
Quote (what people say):
My mother always said that Lyddie should have been born the boy. Lyddie, who was always
daring, courageous, and full of life.
Controversial Statement:
Amusement parks! They should really be called torture chambers!

34. a circus on a rocket ship to Mars
camping near a river climbing a mountain
a ski vacation in Colorado arriving at Ellis Island
at the seashore sailing on the Titanic
a deserted island an apartment in Seattle
scuba diving near a coral reef at a holiday party

35. From Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
Lilly ran and skipped and hopped all the way home,
she was so happy. And she really did want to be a
teacher when she grew up…

36. From Shortcut by Donald Crews
We walked home without a word. We didn’t tell
Bigmama. We didn’t tell Mama. We didn’t tell
anyone. We didn’t talk about what had happened for
a very long time. And we didn’t take the shortcut
again.

37. From Crab Moon by Ruth Horowitz
Slowly and grandly the crab pulled herself forward.
Stepping and pausing, Daniel’s feet felt their way
into the bay. He followed until she disappeared.
Then he gave the water one last, long look and
whispered to the horseshoe crab, “See you next
summer.”

39. Similes from Owl Moon by Jane Yolen
 The trees stood still as giant statues.
 Somewhere behind us a train whistle blew, long and low, like
a sad, sad song.
 And when their voices faded away it was as quiet as a dream.
 …and the snow below it was whiter than the milk in a cereal
bowl.
 Then the owl pumped his great wings and lifted off the branch
like a shadow without sound.

40. Blank, Blank, Blanking Craft
1. Invite writers to search their stories for sentences that have
a verb in it.
2. Brainstorm a list such as run, write, love, sneeze, read,
dance, swim, dream, ski, trudge
3. Ask students to rewrite the sentence using _____, _____,
____ing.
*Sometimes, your writers will choose to replace their verb for
a stronger one first.

41. Verbs that have more than one syllable can be altered
to make it sound more fun and more rhythmic.
For example the word “tackle” could be reconstructed
to read: “I was tack, tack, tackling the running
back all day long!”

42. Rationale for Use
 It adds song and poetry to any piece.
 It also adds emphasis.
 Think about a sentence that reads: “I was missing
my mom while at camp.”
 Revise to read: “I was miss, miss, missing my
mom while at camp.”

43. From Love That Dog by Sharon Creech
Some of the tiger sounds are still in my ears
like drums beat-beat-beating. p.9
My brain was pop-pop-popping
when I was looking at those poems. p. 35
We think maybe you did because you were
smile-smile-smiling all over the place. p. 82

44. Examples from Notebooks
I opened the huge box, and a yellow lab jumped out. All
Christmas day I was love, love, loving my new puppy.
We dash, dash, dashed across the yard on our new bikes.
I laugh, laugh, laughed until my face was wet with tears.
Mr. Smith was teach, teach, teaching us about subtraction
all week!

45. Grandfather by Lynne Dorfman
My grandfather remembers long ago
The coal mining town of Freeland, Pennsylvania.
He remembers the blackness of his father’s hands and face.
He remembers his mother waiting, waiting
for the husband who never returned,
buried with a dozen other miners…trapped.
He remembers waiting for the news.
No one would be coming home today, or the next day,
or the day after that – not ever.
He remembers his mothers sobs and then
it was finished.
He remembers selling supplies to miners
on Saturdays and even Sundays.
There would be food on the table
over prayer.

48. The Coat by Rose Cappelli
“Easter in March –
It will be cold!”
I think to myself
as I envision Annie’s Easter outfit
in my head.
A coat will be just right.
I find the perfect fabric –
a twill of royal blue
with a soft silk blend for the lining.
Slowly, the coat takes shape
as the fabric glides effortlessly
through my sewing machine.
The finished product fits her perfectly!

49. Easter morning dawns
sunny, clear –
and hot!
A sultry eighty-five degrees!
Much too hot for a three-year-old in a coat.
As I approach she gives me a
you’ve-got-to-be-kidding look.
But before she can protest,
we line up to take a picture.
Click! The coat will live on.

51. Why Poetry?
 A poem engages the reader in a whirlwind of sounds,
emotions, and wonderings.
 Poetry blends emotions with appeal to the senses and an
acquired wisdom about the world and how things work.
 Reading poems aloud helps students make
reading/writing connections.
 Poetry improves vocabulary and fluency, deepens
comprehension, and enhances thinking skills.

52.  Poetry helps students make personal connections to
their lives.
 Poetry can be used effectively for both small and
whole group instruction.
 Poetry can be used at any time of the day and across
the curriculum.

53. From Don Murray…
When we write, we become
visible, we are players in the
game of life.

54. Some Ideas for List Poems
 things I don’t know
 things I don’t do
 noisy things
 quiet things
 scary things
 things that drive me crazy

55.  things I can’t understand
 spring things
 things that melt my heart
 things that are happening in the world at
this very minute
 childhood games and/or toys
 things I like to eat
 things I don’t like to eat

56. Signs
Possibilities for Reading Connections
 Fluency – phrasing
 Sight vocabulary development
 Phonemic awareness
 Decoding strategies – word families
 Vocabulary development
 Visualization and inferences
 Synthesis of ideas – drawing conclusions

57. Signs
Possibilities for Writing Connections
 Scaffold (Noun-Verb, Main Idea)
 Conventions
 Word choice
 Alliteration

58. From Snowsong Whistling by Karen E. Lotz
Red squirrels packing
Hound dog tracking
Leaf fires crackling
Farmers stacking
Chill wind teasing
Kitten half-sneezing
Radiator wheezing
Pond water freezing

59. From Pumpkin Eye by Denise Fleming
Swooping bats,
hissing cats…
Trick or treat –
Pounding feet
Clacking bones,
muffled moans…

60. Some samples from Rose’s Notebook…
Spring My Busy Garden
Tulips blooming, Nesting bluebirds,
Dogwoods budding, Chirping chickadees,
Daffodils glowing - Hovering
Spring is beautiful! hummingbirds-
My busy garden!

61. Ice Skates
by Mickeelah P., Grade 5
Ice skates
Sharp, sturdy, fleece-lined
Relative of rollerblades and ballet slippers
Who love children, leaps and twirls, and figure eights
Who fear falling, getting dull, and growing too small
Who need to be laced up tight, sharpened, and polished
Who give fun on ice to both young and old
Who like to see children passing pucks, dancing, and racing
Resident of snowy lands everywhere
Metal artist

62. Poetry will breathe life into all writing if
we honor it with our voices and time.
-Lester Laminack

63. from Mentor Texts: Teaching Writing Through Children’s
Literature
Mentor texts serve to show, not just tell,
students how to write well. They, along with
the teacher, provide wonderful examples
that help students grow into successful
writers through supportive partnerships.