1. BODY LANGUAGE 7/15/2009 1

2. Understanding body language is not as difficult as some people would have you believe. All human beings use it and so actually have a “built-in” ability to recognise and read it. Unfortunately, as humans have become increasingly better at “verbal” communication their ability to consciously recognise body language has faded away. 7/15/2009 2

3. Having a complex spoken language is one of the great evolutionary tricks. It means that vast amounts of detailed information can be transmitted from one person to another. It allows us to read, write and even think in a certain way. As far as we can tell, human beings are the only creatures alive on this planet that truly have this ability. This incredible skill gave humans the advantage that put-us-on-top and, if measured in evolutionary timescale, it’s brand new. 7/15/2009 3

4. We’re not saying that animals and other creatures don’t communicate - they definitely do. However, the way they communicate is much closer to body language than it is to verbal communication. Not so long ago we human beings were just like them. Deep inside us this form of communication is still strong but is now more commonly used to emphasize (or contradict) what we say. An angry man shakes his fist, a depressed girl sits slumped in her chair, and a soldier stands up straight – ready to take on the enemy. Yes, human body language is alive and well 7/15/2009 4

5. 5 An angry man shakes his fist, 7/15/2009

6. 6 a soldier stands up straight – ready to take on the enemy 7/15/2009

7. 7 a depressed girl sits slumped in her chair 7/15/2009

8. "Millions of words have been written about why we have body language and why we do what we do” 7/15/2009 8

9. For example: Psychologists and psychiatrists believe that when we lie our bodies experience stress so we sweat, when we’re attracted to someone we assume postures we believe others will find attractive. When frightened or aggressive we try and make ourselves look bigger. These are just a few explanations. 7/15/2009 9

10. Is the reasoning true? Well we don’t know, but we do know that they do happen. People do get itchy lips and noses when they lie. 7/15/2009 10

11. To demystify body language it is enough to know that it is real and that it works. We haven’t prepared this powerpoint to convince you that body language is real – just how to understand this intriguing form communication. " 7/15/2009 11

12. The secret to “understanding” and demystifying body language is the ability to understand the next eight points 7/15/2009 12

13. 1. Signals or Tells The body language signals that we or other people use 7/15/2009 13

14. 2. Intensity How emphatic (strong) are the signals 7/15/2009 14

15. 3. Corroboration and Contradiction Are all the signals saying the same thing or are they mixed? 7/15/2009 15

16. 4. Clusters Are we using or seeing many signals for the same thing as this will make the message stronger? 7/15/2009 16

17. 5. Progressions Are the signals getting stronger or weaker? 7/15/2009 17

18. 6. Contexts Is the signal being used in the right context? 7/15/2009 18

19. 7. Conditioning (Culture) How do the signals relate to the cultural environment and are they instinctive or learned? 7/15/2009 19

20. 8. Objectiveness (Seeking and Denial) Basically seeing things you want to or refusing to see things because you don't 7/15/2009 20

21. RECOGNISING LIES Lies! Humans use them so often that more than half the time they don’t even realize what they’re doing. Lies to protect, to persecute, to reassure, to undermine, to harm and to heal are everywhere. Are all lies are bad? Is it so wrong to tell a person that they’re prettier than they are – if you love them? Still, some lies are pure evil – just think about some of the racist hatred spread by the Nazis. However, no matter what kind of lies they are - they are still deception. 7/15/2009 21

22. Covering the mouth Scratching the upper lip or nose Uncontrolled blushing Facing the palms downwards Lip licking Sudden crossing of the legs Sudden crossing of the arms Sudden smoking Glancing away / Sideways glancing Forced eye contact Overly stiff posture Clenching Fidgeting Hand hiding Pupil contraction Controlled vocal tone Stutters, slurs and hesitations Sweating & palm wiping Sudden giggling There are many signals that give away the liar. These are: 7/15/2009 22

23. 23 Glancing away / Sideways glancing 7/15/2009

24. From the list above it’s clear that there is no shortage of signals. The real trick is interpreting them correctly. To do this it is necessary to understand a little about people and why these signals happen. Anxiety is the key. When people lie, they put themselves in a state of stress. Adrenaline floods the body, the heart beats faster, muscles tense, blood vessels dilate (or contract), pupils’ shrink, the need for nicotine increases and breathing becomes faster. Lie detectors and their ability to work depend on these physiological reactions. 7/15/2009 24

25. A trained body language observer doesn’t need a machine – these changes are very visible if you know what to look for because in addition to physiological changes there are psychological ones too. From birth westerners are taught to look at a person when they’re speaking to them. Children instinctively cover their mouths when they lie and people seem subconsciously aware that their gestures will betray them so they hide their hands. Exactly why people do this we’ll leave up to the psychologists to explain but it is enough to know that they do. 7/15/2009 25

26. A word of warning, signals that indicate a person is lying, particularly those related to stress, can be caused by the situation. Nina, a member of the team, once interviewed several human resources managers and identified a pattern. Most of the interviewers felt strongly that that the interviewees were lying – even when they weren’t. The reason was that the stress of the job interview was causing the candidates to display signals very similar to those associated with the lie. Let’s face it; a job interview is a pretty stressful experience. 7/15/2009 26

27. Top Ten Tips: Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others, especially people we've just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and interest in what they have to say. Here in the UK we tend to keep eye contact around 60-70% of the time. (However, there are wide cultural differences, so be careful in other countries) By doing this you won't make the other people feel self conscious, like they've got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop hanging from the nose. . Instead, it will give them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in your company, any more eye contact than this and you can be too intense, any less and you give off a signal that you are lacking interest in them or their conversation. 7/15/2009 27

28. Posture is the next thing to master, get your posture right and you'll automatically start feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost instantly. Next time you notice you're feeling a bit down, take a look at how your standing or sitting. Chances are you'll be slouched over with your shoulders drooping down and inward. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can help make you feel nervous or uncomfortable. 7/15/2009 28

29. Head position is a great one to play around with, with yourself and others. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and what you're saying to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in the listening, receptive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in the conversation 7/15/2009 29

30. Arms give away the clues as to how open and receptive we are to everyone we meet and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way and you meet things "full frontal". In general terms the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms with big movements. The quieter you are the less you move your arms away from your body. So, try to strike a natural balance and keep your arm movements midway. When you want to come across in the best possible light, crossing the arms is a no, no in front of others. Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all means show your disapproval by crossing them ! 7/15/2009 30

31. Legs are the furthest point away from the brain, consequently they're the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously control. They tend move around a lot more than normal when we are nervous, stressed or being deceptive. So best to keep them as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings. Be careful too in the way you cross your legs. Do you cross at the knees, ankles or bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a question of comfort than anything else. Just be aware that the last position mentioned is known as the "Figure Four" and is generally perceived as the most defensive leg cross, especially if it happens as someone tells a you something that might be of a slightly dubious nature, or moments after. (As always, look for a sequence) 7/15/2009 31

32. Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings towards them. We angle toward people we find attractive, friendly and interesting and angle ourselves away from those we don't, it's that simple! Angles includes leaning in or away from people, as we often just tilt from the pelvis and lean sideways to someone to share a bit of conversation. For example, we are not in complete control of our angle at the cinema because of the seating nor at a concert when we stand shoulder to shoulder and are packed in like sardines. In these situations we tend to lean over towards the other person. 7/15/2009 32

33. Hand gestures are so numerous it's hard to give a brief guide but here goes. Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. Palm down gestures are generally seen as dominant, emphasizing and possibly aggressive, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and where appropriate we suggest you always offer a handshake upright and vertical, which should convey equality 7/15/2009 33

34. Distance from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. Stand too close and you'll be marked as "Pushy" or "In your face". Stand or sit too far away and you'll be "Keeping your distance" or "Stand offish". Neither are what we want, so observe if in a group situation how close are all the other people to each other. Also notice if you move closer to someone and they back away, you're probably just a tiny bit too much in their personal space, their comfort zone. "You've overstepped the mark" and should pull back a little. 7/15/2009 34

35. Ears, yes your ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though general terms most people can't move them much, if at all. However, you've got two ears and only one mouth, so try to use them in that order. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced a conversation without being me, me, me or the wallflower. 7/15/2009 35

36. Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. We purse our lips and sometimes twist them to the side when we're thinking. Another occasion we might use this movement is to hold back an angry comment we don't wish to reveal. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not know the comment, they will get a feeling you were not to pleased. There are also different types of smiles and each gives off a corresponding feeling to its recipient which we'll cover next time. 7/15/2009 36

37. An Overview of Nonverbal Communication 7/15/2009 37 Nonverbal communication is as important as verbal communication. The process of communication does not complete without its nonverbal components. In order to truly express yourself and convey the message properly to your target audience, the expressions, gestures, tone and pauses in the speech should be properly addressed. You may have been in a boring presentation or conference. It is quite possible that you may have found it boring due to the lack of expressions and sound effects in the voice of the speaker. Following are a few of the components of nonverbal communication that play an important role in the effectiveness of the communication process.

38. Vocal 7/15/2009 38 The intonation of your speech plays an important role in non verbal communication. A monotonic speaker has a lower impact on the target audience as compared to the speaker who uses the intonation properly to convey the message. Take the example of a simple word “Yes”. You can express it in many ways exhibiting different expressions like excitement, anger, happiness, sadness, terror, mild doubt and amazement. The real difference between all those expressions would be the intonation of your words. It is also important to note that different cultures have different meanings for same intonations.

39. Visual 7/15/2009 39 Physical appearance, facial expressions, eye movements, posture, body movements and gestures can be considered as effective tools to convey the message properly. We all try to interpret the message through facial expressions and eye movements of a person. Think of a person with coloured glasses. You can easily misinterpret his words during your communication with him because you cannot see his eyes and interpret the real meanings behind his words. Actions speak for themselves during a communication. Raising hands, lifting eye brows, standing straight, direct eye contact and other such factors contribute to the effectiveness of the communication. Same body movements and postures mean differently in different cultures. In one culture, nodding the head means a sign of affirmation while in another culture moving the head right and left can mean the same thing.

40. Tactile 7/15/2009 40 Tactile movements involve the feeling of touch and are more important in a one-to-one or closed group communication. Tactile communication makes use of motions like patting the back, kissing, hugging or placing an arm around the shoulder.

41. Time 7/15/2009 41 The use of timing can be viewed as an exhibit of power and a relational status defined between the speaker and the audience. A good example would be to think of the difference between the presentation, of a company’s CEO and a junior employee, to a group of employees in a company.

42. Space 7/15/2009 42 Space is used to define our territory. We classify our interaction territories with respect to our relationship with others. We feel uncomfortable if someone comes closer, than our allowed boundary for that particular person. The comfortable interaction distance for family members is usually about 1 – 2 feet. 2 – 4 feet is considered a suitable interaction distance for friends and relatives. All business meetings and professional communications usually occur between 4 – 12 feet distance and public communication distance including lectures and presentations is usually considered above 12 feet.

43. FIRST IMPRESSION AND BODY LANGUAGE: 7/15/2009 43 It takes ten seconds to make a first Impression and a Life time to undo it.93% of Communication is Non-Verbal. Out of this 55% is through Body Language and 38% is Tone of Voice and Balance 7% of Total Communication is Verbal. When you walk into an Interview room, walk with a little bounce, showing Enthusiasm and Energy. Do not show Nervousness.Stand tall and then walk into the room.Keep right hand free, Interviewer may be interested to shake hand. Keep your legs still and do not shake them.Keep your legs together or close at ankles.Men close at knees. No figure 4 posture. It depicts arrogance.Do not clear your throat. Try not to use “Yeah or Ya“ ---- Say "Yes".

44. BODY GESTURES TO BE AVOIDED: 7/15/2009 44 Non Verbal:NERVOUSNESS: Clearing the throat, fidgeting (arousing body or body parts), playing with your clothes or hair, exhaling audibly, yawning etc.SUPERIORITY: Hands on hips, looming stance.INSECURITY: Chewing on fingernails or a pencil or pen, quick eye darts, playing with clothes etc. looking down, not making eye contact.DEFENSIVENESS: Crossed arms, looking sideways, rubbing eyes and nose.

45. 7/15/2009 45 ANGER: Short breath, clenched fists, tense jaws.DOMINANCE: Leaning back on a chair with a slopping body, leaning back with both hands behind the head or neck.DISBELIEF: Raising one or both eyebrows.DISCOMFORT: Going on one Hip, rocking, going back or forth on heels and toes.DISAGREEMENT: Rubbing side of your neck, touching an ear and earlobe, holding back of neck with open palm.DISGUST: Narrowed Eyes and lowered Eyebrows, curled Upper Lips.

46. Most authoritative colours for Suits: Navy Blue / Grey / Black Wool – Wool blend. 7/15/2009 46 Trousers straight or Lappered.No tight clothes because tight clothes magnify the weight problems. Shirts should be of white or light colour to offset the suit, cotton or cotton blend. No shiny or see through material. A Tie is must. Tip of the tie should touch the belt. It should not be longer or shorter . The thin end should not show below the broad end of the tie. If it happens, don’t hide in your trouser but put inside in your shirt between the buttons. Never wear a spoilt or dirty tie. No gold chains or bracelets and no finger Rings, no stone or gems. Don’t use too much or strong fragrance. Nails should be cleaned and well shaped. Looks should be clean and well shaved.

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48. MATERIAL IN THIS PRESENTATION FROM 7/15/2009 48 http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Phipps3.html http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/An_Overview_of_Nonverbal_Communication.html articlesbase.com/mlm-articles/an-overview-of-nonverbal-communication en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language www.bodylanguage.co.in http://www.superjobsonline.com/interview/dress.htm http://www.superjobsonline.com/interview/bodylanguage.htm