2. Divorce History
Increased divorce rates
in recent decades have
been experienced not
only by the United
States but by other
industrialized countries
as well.
Divorce does not carry
as much social
disapproval today than
in the earlier part of this
century.
Divorce is more
common today than it
3.
4. Divorce/Remarriage Statistics
Approximately one-third of all weddings in
America today form stepfamilies
One-third of individuals who got divorced in 2008
were redivorcing, that is, divorcing again
60% of second marriages and 73% of third
marriages end in divorce
42% of adults have a steprelationship--either a
stepparent, a step or half sibling, or a stepchild.
This translates to 95.5 million adults.
13% of adults are stepparents (29-30 million);
15% of men are stepdads (16.5 million) and 12%
of women are stepmoms (14 million).
5. Different Types of Divorce
Contested Divorce – Divorce in which
one party files for divorce and the other
party files an answer and tries to prove
no grounds exist or files a summons and
complaint against the other spouse.
Non-contested Divorce – Divorce in
which both parties agree to the divorce.
Enoch Arden Divorce – Divorce that may
be granted if a married person
disappears for a stated period of time
and it can be determined that an effort
was made to locate that person.
6. No-Fault Divorce
Before the latter decades of the 20th
century, a spouse seeking divorce had to
show cause and even then might not be
able to obtain a divorce.
The legalization of no-fault divorce in the
United States began in 1969 in
California, and was completed in 2010,
with New York being the last of the fifty
states to legalize it
However, most states still require some
waiting period before a divorce, typically
a 1– to 2–year separation.
7. The Facts
Incompatibility as
grounds for
divorce means
two spouses are
unable to live
together.
A large majority of
divorces are not
contested.
8. Divorce Around the World
Presumably due to the influence of the
Roman Catholic Church, divorce
became legal in Brazil only in 1977.
The French Civil code (modified on
January 1, 2005), permits divorce for 4
different reasons; mutual consent
(which comprises over 60% of all
divorces); acceptance; separation of 2
years; and due to the 'fault' of one
partner (accounting for most of the
other 40%).
9. Divorce Terms
Summons – Means by which the
defendant is notified that a divorce
action has been brought against him
or her.
Annulment – Legal termination of a
marriage relationship in which the
court rules that the couple were never
legally married.
Legal Separation – Legal agreement
made by marriage partners to live
10. Grounds for Annulment
Common grounds for
annulment:
◦ Concealment of disease
◦ Financial
misrepresentation
◦ Concealment of a
previous marriage or
divorce
◦ Marital infidelity
11. The Facts
Most Americans believe
that it is correct for
unhappy married couples
to divorce.
No-fault divorce
eliminates the need for
proving one partner guilty.
Under some
circumstances, children of
annulled marriages may
be considered legally
illegitimate and may lose
their right to inheritance.
12. Divorce Terms
Child Support – Money that one
separated or divorced parent pays the
other parent to support the couple’s
children until the children reach the
age of 18.
Community Property – Any property
acquired through the labors of either
spouse during their marriage.
13. Divorce Terms
Separate Property – Property that can
be positively shown to have been
owned prior to marriage or acquired
during marriage by gift or inheritance
and retained separately.
Insupportability – Inability of the
couple to support a continuing
relationship of marriage.
Desertion - Refers to abandonment of
the marital partner.
14. Social View of Divorce
Most social scientists believe the
divorce rate in the United States is
higher today than it was early in this
century because:
◦ The success of a marriage today is
viewed more in terms of personal
happiness than it was early in this century.
◦ The social stigma attached to divorce has
decreased in recent decades.
◦ Opportunities for women to become
financially sufficient in careers outside the
home have increased in recent decades.
15. Why A Divorce May Happen
A divorce can be
granted on the
following grounds:
◦ Incompatibility
◦ Separation (living apart
for a specified time).
◦ Alcohol or drug addiction
◦ Desertion
◦ Abuse
◦ Cheating
16. Predictors of Divorce
The following are
predictors of
divorce:
◦ Age (16-21 years
of age)
◦ Low Income
◦ Parents who have
divorced
◦ The 4 Horsemen
17. The 4 Horsemen of Divorce
Dr. John Gottman at the University of
Washington has done extensive
research on what causes marriages to
work.
He and his team have also arrived at
some important conclusions as to what
causes divorce.
From their research, they have found
four predictors of divorce.
Based on these four factors, which they
call "The Four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse," they can predict with more
than a 90% accuracy who will divorce.
18. The 4 Horsemen of Divorce
The four predictors
are criticism,
defensiveness,
contempt and
stonewalling.
Even though any of
these issues could
be present in any
marriage at some
point, it is the
accumulation of
these problems that
warrants danger.
19. Criticism
Criticism - Losing the positive mental
attitude toward your spouse and
developing a critical spirit.
All of us see problems in our spouse,
but we must also see the good and
keep the disciplines of thanks, praise
and complimenting one another alive
and well.
Without this, criticism is inevitable and
dangerous.
20. Defensiveness
Defensiveness - Not allowing your
spouse the right to complain.
All of us are imperfect and need the
input and perspective of our spouses.
When we won’t allow our spouses the
opportunity to complain, it bottles up
anger in the relationship and also
implies that our spouses are the cause
of the problems.
21. Contempt
Contempt - Long term anger that
hasn’t been dealt with properly causes
bitterness, lost passion and a
contempt for others.
When you haven’t forgiven your
spouse for something they’ve done,
contempt is inevitable.
Contempt is often expressed through
name-calling, cursing, verbal abuse
and rejection.
22. Stonewalling
Stonewalling - Refusing to participate
in a civil discussion of an issue or
issues so they can be resolved.
This can be demonstrated through
obstinance, silence or a long term
refusal to yield on a subject.
Stonewalling is a very dangerous trait
because it emotionally abandons your
spouse and leaves problems
unresolved.
23. Tips for Preventing Divorce
I will leave you with four disciplines that
provide a solid foundation for lasting
success in marriage.
◦ Stay positive and compliment each other
every day.
◦ Be humble and approachable. Let your
spouse say how they feel without paying a
price.
◦ Forgive every day. Don’t let your heart
become hard or your spirit become bitter.
◦ Stay committed to your spouse and your
marriage. Never go to bed on anger or
stonewall on an issue. Even if you need to
cool off for a while — come back and talk
things out.
24. Alimony
Alimony – Money paid by the primary
wage earner to the other marriage
partner during and after a divorce.
Rehabilitative Alimony - Refers to
temporary support provided by one
former spouse to enable the other
former spouse to update or upgrade
his or her job skills and ability to earn
a living.
25. How much will one get?
Alimony is
determined by
the following
situations:
◦ The couple’s
standard of living.
◦ The primary wage
earner’s income.
26. Children grieving in divorce
Denial – Children feel the need to
believe that their parents will get back
together or they will change their mind
about the divorce.
◦ Example: ―Mom or Dad will change their
mind‖
Anger – Children feel the need to
blame someone for their sadness and
loss.
◦ Example: ―I hate dad for leaving us‖
27. Children grieving in divorce
Bargaining - In this stage, children
feel as if they have some say in the
situation if they bring a bargain to the
table. This helps them keep focused
on the positive that the situation might
change and less focused on the
negative, the sadness they’ll
experience after the divorce.
◦ Example: ―If I do all of my chores maybe
Mom won’t leave Dad‖
28. Children grieving in divorce
Depression - This involves the child
experiencing sadness when they know
there is nothing else to be done and
they realize they cannot stop the
divorce. The parents need to let the
child experience this process of
grieving because if they do not it will
only show their inability to cope with
the situation.
◦ Example: ―I’m sorry that I cannot fix this
situation for you.‖
29. Children grieving in divorce
Acceptance – This does not
necessarily mean that the child is
completely happy again. The
acceptance is just moving past the
depression and starting to accept the
divorce. The sooner the parents start
to move on from the situation the
sooner the kids can begin to accept
the reality of it.
30. From a Child’s Point of View
A toddler will not
understand as much as
a 5-year old
understands, etc.
Studies show that
children experience the
greatest impact from
divorce within two or
three years of it’s
occurrence.
At each age, there are
certain feelings and
31. Infants Toddlers
Infants do not Toddlers understand that
understand anything one parent no longer
about separation or lives at home, although
divorce, but they do they don’t know why.
notice changes in their Toddlers cry more and
parent’s responses to become clingy.
them.
Parents can provide
Infants may experience nurturing and
changes in their eating or reassurance.
sleeping patterns.
Parents should try to
keep a normal routine.
Infants and Toddlers
32. Preschoolers Elementary School Children
Preschoolers still don’t Elementary children
understand what believe that their parents
separation or divorce don’t love each other and
means, but they know know they won’t be living
their parents are angry together any longer.
and upset, and they live Elementary school
apart. children feel deceived.
Preschoolers feel a Parents can encourage
sense of loss and sorrow. their child to talk about
Parents can tell their the divorce with them,
child that they are not relatives, or family
responsible for the friends.
divorce.
Preschoolers and Elementary
School Children
33. Preteens and Adolescents
Preteens and adolescents understand,
but usually do not accept, separation
or divorce.
Preteens and adolescents often
become very angry.
They may feel disillusioned, betrayed,
or rejected by one or both of their
parents,.
They may lose trust in relationships in
general.
34. Preteens and Adolescents
They may become depressed or
withdrawn, or may threaten suicide.
Parents can give their children time to
discuss their feelings.
They can follow established routines
as much as possible.
Parents can continue to monitor their
children’s activities: where they are,
what they’re doing, who they’re with.
