Talking about difficult topics like gender, race, sexual orientation, and class with our children can raise anxiety for many people, and yet we must have the conversation in our schools and our lives in order to be more inclusive and change the world for the better. What are the fears and common pitfalls that keep us from broaching courageous conversations? Gain practical skills for interrupting comments as well as facilitating conversations.

1. Charlotte Latin School
Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Courageous Conversations:
Interrupting with Care and
and Modeling Courage in Tension
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

2. About Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

3. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

4. Dimensions of Identity and Culture
This model of identifiers and culture was created by Karen Bradberry and Johnnie Foreman for NAIS Summer Diversity Institute,
adapted from Loden and Rosener’s Workforce America! (1991) and from Diverse Teams at Work, Gardenswartz & Rowe (SHRM 2003).
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

5. Understanding the Case
for Diversity and Inclusion
 The Moral Case
 The Academic Case
 The Economic Case
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

6. Courageous Conversations
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

7. Fears and Anxieties that Keep Us
from Having Conversations
 Offending
 Losing Face
 Tokenism
 Social Risk
 Bursting the Bubble
 Rocking the Boat
 Conflict
 Lack of “Authority”
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

8. Open Acknowledgment
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

9. Define the Opportunity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

10. NCBI Effective Interventions Model
 Reduce Defensiveness
– Tone
– Body Language
– Respect
 Keep the Conversation Going
– Hear Them Out
– Ask Open-Ended Questions
– Set Aside Your Feeling for the Moment
– Dialogue
 Build the Relationship
 Win an Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

11. Everything You Ever Wanted to Interrupt
But Didn’t Know How To…
 Think of trigger events of phrases
 Which ones have proven most challenging?
 Which ones would you like to strategize effective
interventions for?
 Strategize for different people: strangers,
acquaintances, friends, family members, younger
people, etc.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

12. Practice Makes Less Heart-Attack-Inducing
In pairs, please
describe your
challenge scenario.
Role-play the
scenario and the
interventions you
might use.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

13. Sharing the Wisdom
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

14. Effective Communication Models
Common Threads
Brenda J. Allen, Difference Matters: Communicating Social Identity
SUPPORTIVE DEFENSIVE
Description Evaluation
Problem-Orientation Control
Spontaneity Strategy
Empathy Neutrality
Equality Superiority
Provisionalism Certainty
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

15. Assumptions and Interpretations
• Mental Models
• Ladder of Inference
Belief
Conclusions
Selective Data
Observable Data
• Tools of Action
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

16. 1. What did you see/hear (raw data)?
2. What are your personal filters (cultural
values, norms, and identifiers)?
3. What was your interpretation of what you
saw/heard (inference)?
4. How did you feel as a result?
5. What do you want?
Checking Assumptions and
Interpretations: Steps to Analyze
Rosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://sites.google.com/site/sgsprofessionaloutreach/)Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://sites.google.com/site/sgsprofessionaloutreach/)

17. Final Thoughts
 We were all born innocent.
 Impact matters more than intent.
 Dialogue is more effective than debate.
 You may not see the results of your
efforts immediately.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

18. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)

19. Resources
• Anti-Defamation League
• Cross Cultural Connections
(www.CulturesConnecting.com)
• Facilitation First
• Jimpact Enterprises, Inc.
• National Coalition Building Institute
• The People’s Institute
• Stirfry Seminars
• The Thiagi Group
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)