Jack attends a speed dating event where he is uncomfortable with his match, a woman named Sian who is actually a man in disguise. Later, Jack's friend Adam encourages him to kiss his neighbor Stacey while under the influence of alcohol. When Stacey answers her door, Jack attempts to kiss her but ends up vomiting on her floor instead. Stacey screams in response.

1. 1
DATING CLUB
SCENE 1
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
FADE IN:
1. L.S., EYE LEVEL Two Twenty year old men, JACK and ADAM, can be
seen walking down the street talking to each other. The two are
wearing casual clothes. Jack is small and quite chubby whilst Adam
is tall and skinny. The CAMERA TRACKS with them as they walk down
the street talking. They are both walking towards a dating centre
which Jack is nervous about.
2. TRACKING TWO SHOT Jack and Adam:
JACK
I can't do it! It feels weird!
ADAM
Just give it a go! Trust me, you’ll come
out feeling like a different man!
3.L.S. of Jack and Adam standing outside the dating centre.
The two are shaking hands while they speak.
JACK
I hope you're not lying. Last time you
told me to do something I ended up
losing all my clothes. You best remember
that!
ADAM
Stop moaning and get in there!
4. C.U. of Adam shaking Jacks hand; Adam walks away leaving Jack on
his own.
INT. SPEED DATING CLUB - DAY
5. C.U. Of the DIRECTOR of the club begins to speak, the director is
a Twenty Nine year old Female, wearing smart clothes such as a black
sweater with a shirt underneath and black pants. The CAMERA PANS
around the dating room to reveal the different people Jack could
meet.

2. 2
DIRECTOR:
Can everyone please pair up and take a
seat? You have two minutes then you will
swap with someone else!
6. C.U. Of bell Ringing.
7. L.S. of everyone talking, CAMERA PANS to capture everyone
talking.
8. M.S. Of Jack is sitting with an odd looking WOMAN. The Woman is
covered in makeup and is wearing a sexually provocative pink dress.
The CAMERA TRACKS getting closer to Jack and the Woman.
9. The CAMERA PEDS UP the woman's legs. The woman speaks in a gruff
voice and does not sound very feminine.
10. SHOT REVERSE SHOT
JACK:
Hi, my name is Jack . . .
WOMAN:
Hello handsome. I’m Sean.
JACK
Sean?
WOMAN
Sian, I said…Sian.
JACK
Oh sorry I thought I heard you wrong.
WOMAN
It's fine darling, how old is you
gorgeous?
11. C.U. Of Jack as he becomes uncomfortable around Sian.
12. SHOT REVERSE SHOT
JACK
Erm…twenty . . . four
WOMAN
Mmm! Just how I like them . . .

3. 3
Jack
Erm I think I need to leav . . .
WOMAN
Kiss me you charming stud!
13. C.U. Of the woman grabbing the back of Jack's head and pressing
her lips firmly on his. However, Jack is struggling and trying to
get away.
14. X.C.U. The Woman takes off a wig to reveal she is a man, her
voice changes to a deeper husky voice. The CAMERA SLOWLY PANS
towards Jack to reveal his facial expression of shock and confusion.
Jack has smudged red lipstick around his mouth.
15. M.S. of Jack and the Woman sat at the table.
WOMAN
Cheers mate It's been a while.
The Woman walks off and Jack is left confused with lipstick left
around his mouth.
FADE OUT:
SHOPPING MARKET
INT. SHOPPING MARKET - DAY
FADE IN:
1. L.S. HIGH ANGLE shot of a long queue which is formed behind a
checkout whilst a teenage boy, MIKE, Is operating the tills. The
CUSTOMERS are beginning to get Impatient.
2.M.S. of an empty shopping aisle.
3.L.S. LOW ANGLE of another empty aisle.
4.C.U. CAMERA CRABS LEFT towards Mike who is looking like he is in
his own world and is not fully concentrating. He is also wearing a
hat with the shops logo in a strange way that makes him look
unsuitable and informal for the job. The CAMERA BECOMES STATIC once
mike is fully in the shot.

4. 4
5. C.U. of Mike scanning a customer's shopping and lazily pushing it
down towards the customers bags.
MIKE
Beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . sorry I
like to do that, helps the time pass.
CUSTOMER 1
Do what you must just…be a bit quicker
please love?
6. TWO SHOT Mike and Customer 1.
Mike looks at CUSTOMER 1 in a docile way, Customer 1 is a 64 year
old Woman who is wearing a beige coat with a Green dress; then
carries on.
7. C.U. of Mikes hand as he begins scanning again.
MIKE
beep…beep…beep…
8. M.S. of Customer one, CAMERA TRACKS customer as they walk
away.
9. M.S. of customer 2 arriving at the conveyer belt.
Customer 1 leaves and CUSTOMER 2, who is a 24 year old male, is
wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. Customer 2 starts putting their
shopping on the conveyer belt.
10. C.U. of Mike looking at the items of food hungrily as he scans
it.
MIKE
That pie looks nice, aw that new film
with Vin Diesel!....Phwoar I’d like to
get into those . . . cabbages?
11. C.U. of customer 2's reaction as Mike becomes silent. Customer 2
sighs and packs his shopping away then leaves with haste.
12. C.U. of Mike as he looks up and notices his friend in the queue,
PETE.

5. 5
MIKE
Pete! Come here mate I’ll get those
through for you!
13. L.S. CAMERA PAN RIGHT showing Pete who looks just like
Mike and is as dopey and ignorant as him. Pete is wearing a
baggy jacket, old battered t-shirt and oversized jeans.
PETE
Alright Mike nice one mukka, in a bit of
a rush cheers!
14. TWO SHOT of Mike and Pete at the checkout.
15. CAMERA CHANGES FOCUS TO CUSTOMER 3. Customer 3 is a 36
year old male with a moustache, tight black pants and an
overcoat.
CUSTOMER 3
Excuse me sir, I believe he was behind
me?
16. C.U. of Mikes upset face as he wants to serve Pete.
MIKE
Yeah but . . . its Pete . . . Everyone
loves Pete!
17. TWO SHOT of Mike and Pete handling Pete's shopping
whilst customers in the background can be seen whispering
and mumbling.
The customers sigh and mutter amongst each other, Pete has finished
paying for his things and starts to walk off, Mike begins to serve
someone else when he remembers something, Mike shouts his name
across the shop and the two begin to have a conversation from one
end to the other.
18. SHOT REVERSE SHOT of Mike and Pete from one end of the shop to
the other.
MIKE
Oh yeah PETE!...PETE!
PETE
YEAH?
MIKE

6. 6
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
PETE
OF COURSE!
19. C.U. of Pete's face.
(Pete sighs and looks down in
embarrassment of Mike's intellect)
20. SHOT REVERSE SHOT of Mike and Pete's conversation.
MIKE
What time you coming over on the
weekend? Shall we say…5?
PETE
Nah mate babysitting aren’t I? What
about 6?
MIKE
I dunno mate that’s a bit late innit!
21. C.U. of Customer 4 growing impatient with the boys.
CUSTOMER 4
Can you hurry up please I need to get
home!
22. C.U. of Mike as he replies to the customer with a lazy
attitude. Mike does not realize how annoyed the customers
are.
MIKE
Sorry love its four o clock I’ve
finished now.
FADE TO BLACK:

7. 7
STACEYS HOUSE
EXT.HOUSING ESTATE NIGHT
FADE IN:
1. L.S. TWO SHOT of JACK and ADAM walking down the street. Jack is
seeking advice again. This is continued from the dating scene and
Jack still has a small part of lipstick on his face from before.
2. SHOT REVERSE SHOT of Jack and Adam stood outside a house. The
house has lights on and is in a good looking, upper class
enviroment.
JACK
I don't think this is a good idea, I've
had a bit to drink as it is!
ADAM
Trust me, birds love the romantic type,
imagine you're Romeo and she's Juliette!
JACK
Yeah . . . yeah your right! I'm gonna do
it!
3. C.U. of Adam laughing to himself
4. C.U. Tracking shot of Jack walking up to a door from
behind.
Adam laughs to himself, hiding his sniggers from Jack. Jack begins
to walk up to a house and knocks on the door whilst Adam waits
around the corner
5. OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT behind Jack showing STACEY opening the
door.
Stacey, a 20 year old Woman, is wearing a dressing gown and has
Rollers in her hair. Stacey opens the door.
STACEY
Oh, hi Jack what's up?
6.SHOT REVERSE SHOT of Jack and Stacey
JACK
Hi erm what are you doing
STACEY

8. 8
Are you alright Jack? You look really
pale.
JACK
Ahh yeah I've just been down the pub,
because I'm such a lad you know.
STACEY
Erm no not really, you should come in
and sit down you look awful.
JACK
No I'm fine just kiss me.
7. C.U. of Jack going to kiss Stacey and then throws up all
over her floor.
Jack goes to kiss Stacey and Stacey backs away. As Jack opens his
mouth to kiss her he throws up all over the floor and Stacey begins
to scream. Jack looks up with bits of sick dripping from his lips
8. Medium shot of Stacey's reaction as Jack lifts his head up.
9. C.U. of Jack lifting his head up in shock and embarresment.
JACK
Does this mean you won't kiss me?
BLACK OUT.