SlideShare una empresa de Scribd logo
1 de 27
Lindsay Bayer
e-Portfolio of Original Work




      LLED 597G: Writing for Children
    Instructor: Susan Campbell Bartoletti




                                            1
© 2011 Lindsay Bayer

 All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or
otherwise, without prior written permission of Lindsay Bayer.




                                                                                   2
To Chris: for recognizing the nerd within me, and loving me regardless.




                                                                      3
Table of Contents
Part One: Option B .............................................................................................. 5
  Yoga Makes Me Feel ............................................................................................6
  I Think My Cat Needs Glasses...............................................................................8
   My Dog Stole My Pajamas……………………………………………………………………………….10


Part Two ........................................................................................................... 14
  Critique for Michelle ..........................................................................................15

   Critique for Laura ..............................................................................................17

   Critique from Laura…………………………………………………………………………………………19

   Critique from Katie………………………………………………………………………………………….21

    My Personal Philosophy Renewed………………………………………………………………….23



 Part Three………………………………………………………………………………………………………24

    Author’s Note…………………………………………………………………………………………………25
    About the Author…………………………………………………………………………………………..26
    Recommendations…………………………………………………………………………………………27




                                                                                                                     4
Part One: Option B




                     5
Yoga Makes Me Feel…

Yoga makes me feel excited. When I wake up in the morning, hearing the birds
sing and seeing the first rays of sunlight, I stand tall in Mountain Pose. With my
back straight and my shoulders down, I reach my arms over my head and look up.
I imagine reaching for the sun in the sky. As I hear Mom yell, “Time for
breakfast,” I feel strong and ready for the day ahead.

Yoga makes me feel balanced. Before I climb the jungle gym on the playground, I
stand up straight and bring one ankle to the top of my other leg in Tree Pose. I
raise my arms over my head and balance for a few seconds. My friends become
trees too. The breeze blows, shaking our branches. “Woah, woah!” we say as we
giggle and try to remain still. We switch legs and start over on the other side.
Yoga makes me feel sturdy and ready to play.

Yoga makes me feel calm. When my teacher announces, “Attention class, please
clear your desks. It’s time for a pop quiz in math,” I begin to feel nervous. But
then I remember to take slow, deep breaths in and out of my nose. This is called
Pranayama. I close my eyes for a moment and listen to the air flowing in and out
of my body. My nerves are clamed and my mind is focused. “Just stop and take a
deep breath,” I tell my desk partner as she bites her bottom lip. Yoga makes me
feel prepared and confident to take my quiz.

Yoga makes me feel peaceful. I look out my bedroom window and see the stars
glimmering in the dark sky. In my warn pajamas, I kneel on the floor and sit on
my heels. I slowly lay my body on my legs and relax into Child’s Pose. As I think
back on my day, I feel grateful for all that’s happened. I slowly breathe in and
out… in and out. “Goodnight, my love,” I hear Mom say as she peeks into my
room. Yoga makes me feel thankful and ready for a good night’s sleep.




                                                                                    6
Personal Reflection:

I started freewriting about yoga one day this semester because I’ve noticed how
much better I feel after consistent practice. I also noticed that yoga helped me in
the writing process. It helped me eliminate distractions and settle in on the
method of creating. With consistent yoga practice I’m more aware, calm and
focused. This made me think about how children could benefit from yoga too as
they move through the day; from waking up in the morning, to going to school, to
falling asleep. That’s where this picturebook idea comes from. I visualize the
illustrations showing the poses in the context of the story, then perhaps step-by-
step illustrations at the end of the book. I also feel like this could be the beginning
of a series of books, considering the numerous poses and benefits of yoga.




                                                                                      7
I Think My Cat Needs Glasses


I think my cat needs glasses. I’m sure she cannot see.

She’s made friends with a mouse and gives my bird the third degree.

She runs away from squeaky toys and snubs the goldfish bowl.

Instead she likes to bat around my purple fishing pole.

She runs away when I prepare her bowl of kitty food.

Just the thought of Kitty Chow gives her an attitude.

Even as the smell of fish and chicken fill the air,

She’d rather jump into my drawer to hunt my underwear.

She doesn’t chase her tail and she won’t ever climb a tree.

Instead she stays inside to watch reality TV.

She jumps off of my bed and flaps her paws just like a bat.

I think my cat needs glasses to remember she’s a cat!




                                                                      8
Personal Reflection:

This poem/picturebook idea was the hybrid of two separate freewriting
experiences: one about my cat and one about my own glasses. They seemed like
such boring topics at the time, but I’m so glad I was able to combine them into this
really fun and funky story about a crazy cat. I’ve been a complete advocate of the
freewriting process; even when I thought I had very little to write about I was able
to conjure up various ideas like this one. This poem is based more on reality than
any of you will ever realize. Much of it is about my own cat, Arrow. In fact, Arrow
is constantly jumping into open drawers to attack our laundry. She ignores the
myriad of expensive cat toys we’ve purchased to instead chase wine corks. And,
worst of all, she is hands-down the pickiest eater I know (animal OR human). I
hope you enjoy this semi-pseudo ode to my cat, Arrow. PS – I think a lot could be
done with the illustrations. I imagine my own home when going through the lines,
but I think an illustrator could really have fun designing the household.




                                                                                   9
My Dog Stole My Pajamas

It was nearly bedtime.

I was cold from my bath and ready to crawl into my warm pajamas. But I couldn’t
find them anywhere.

They weren’t in the drawer.

They weren’t in the laundry basket.

They weren’t in the bathroom, in the closet or under the bed.

How did I lose my pajamas? They couldn’t have just walked away.

I looked to my left. I looked to my right.

I looked up to the ceiling. I looked down to the floor.

That’s when I saw him, standing in the hall.

It was Archie, my big, yellow dog. And HE was wearing my pajamas!

His tail was wagging and his tongue was hanging from his mouth.

He rolled on his back with his paws in the air. He grinned at me.

I reached to grab Archie, but it was too late.

Archie raced down the hall towards the kitchen.

As he ran past the cabinets…WOOSH! Archie slipped on Mom’s apron.


                                                                             10
The apron flew into the air and landed right around Archie’s head.

I chased him towards the mudroom, but I still couldn’t catch him.

Archie ran through a row of shoes piled on the floor…CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMP!

Two sneakers, a boot and a high heel became fixed to Archie’s paws.

He clomped towards the front door with my pajamas, Mom’s apron and all four
shoes sticking right to him.

I chased Archie around the coat tree, trying to corner him when…BOOM!

The coat tree toppled over. A parka landed on Archie’s back with its hood
covering his eyes.

Archie, now wearing my pajamas, mom’s apron, four shoes and a parka, made his
way back down the hall towards the bathroom.

I chased him inside and…SPLASH! Archie jumped right into the bathtub, still full
of water and bubbles from my bath.

Archie was soaking, but he didn’t stop. He ran back into my bedroom, dripping
wet.

I cornered him near my closet. Archie had nowhere to go. Tiny bubbles on his
nose started to pop, when…AAAA, AAAA, AAAA-CHOOOOOO!

Archie sneezed a great sneeze, blowing the parka from his back.

Without the parka, Archie was cold. He began to shiver and shake.



                                                                                   11
Archie shook his paws and the shoes came right off, flying into the corners of my
bedroom.

Archie then shook his head so hard that the apron came loose.

With one last great shake, Archie freed my pajamas from his back.

As my pajamas, cold and wet, landed in my hands, Archie ran out of my bedroom
with his yellow tail wagging.

As I found some dry pajamas in my drawer, I thought I saw something from the
corner of my eye.

When I turned around to crawl into bed, something was missing.

Where did my teddy bear go? I wondered.

That’s when I saw Archie at my bedroom door, grinning, with my teddy bear in his
slobbery mouth.




                                                                                12
Personal Reflection:

For some reason, stories featuring pets seemed to come to me this semester.
Time spent in freewriting also led me to this idea about a little boy whose dog has
stolen his pajamas. I was remembering a time when my cat used to run around
the house with one of my slippers in her mouth making me chase her down. I
wanted to create a story about this frustration, but do so in layers. In this case,
the dog gets into more and more trouble as he’s chased through the house. I think
the dog is mischievous, but still cute and comical for young children. I also wanted
the story to feel like it could continue in a child’s mind, so I ended it with the dog
(after returning the pajamas) taking the teddy bear off the little boy’s bed to begin
another chase through the house.




                                                                                    13
Part Two




           14
“My Best Friend Wendy” by Michelle Liposky (Post 5.7)

My original critique:

Thanks for sharing this poem. I think you’ve captured a lot of the small details of
childhood summer and friendship. I also think that this poem would be child-
centric because it communicates ideas about common elements of childhood and
how powerful early friendships are. You also touch on the heartbreak of losing a
friend, something that so many children have to deal with.

 I do think you need to decide if you want your poem to rhyme or not. Some lines
rhymed while others did not, so it was hard for me to read with a rhythm in mind
which was a little distracting. But the content is great and I think you could do a
lot with these memoires of yours. Have you thought about transforming these
memories into more of a narrative? I think the joy of having friendship and the
sadness of losing it would be a good picturebook story for young children. You
could express what you learned from this friendship, even though it was taken
away from you.




                                                                                 15
Reflection:

I think my critique was helpful to Michelle because I focused on the structure of
her poem. As a reader, I found it difficult to “flow” through her poem because
there was no clear format. I also found myself wanting more of a personal take
on this situation, so I suggested that she incorporate a narrative format to allow
the reader to engage more with the delicate and human elements within the
piece. I think the details of her poem are very important for children to learn,
especially the potential of losing a friend, so I encouraged her use of these fine
details. Looking back I think her piece taught me a lot about incorporating more
child-centric elements into my own work. She took such care to bring up
memories of childhood (like mud pies, truth or dare and fighting to keep clean)
and I realized that many of these details still ring true in the ears of children.




                                                                                     16
“Ellie Story Continued – Practice with Dialogue” by Laura D’Aveta (Post 8.9)

My Original Critique:

Hi Laura - I'm enjoying learning even more about Ellie. Since we're talking about
dialogue this week, I'll comment on those sections of your piece. First, I think
there are many instances where you did a good job showing action and emotion
within your dialogue sequences. But there are some sections where I think this
could be stronger and/or clearer. For example:

“Did you draw these?” Devlin had Ellie’s notebook clenched in his fist, and he
stomped towards her, bending nearly in half as he thrust his face in hers, hot air
washing over her skin.

I think you need to either explain how Devlin asked this question (as it seemed to
stir up a lot of emotion within him). For me, this would offer a clearer picture of
Ellie's reactions. Maybe like this:

“Did you draw these?” Devlin asked angrily as he clenched Ellie’s notebook in his
fist. He stomped towards Ellie, bending nearly in half as he thrust his face in hers.

I think there are other instances of dialogue that could be clarified through
explaining the action with simpler sentences:

“Come with me.” Quinn stood, unfolding his body and stretching, giving Ellie space
but watching to make sure she followed him up the narrow to the attic.

to

“Come with me,” Quinn said as he stood. As he unfolded his body, he kept his eyes
on Ellie, making sure she followed him to the attic.

I think just paying attention to the areas where you can clarify the action within
the dialogue will help you communicate Ellie's feelings better to the readers.

Overall, I think your story is progressing well and I'm excited to read more!



                                                                                     17
Reflection:

I believe that my critique helped Laura clarify the dialogue within her scene. I feel
that Laura was trying to pack too much into sections where the characters were
speaking to one another. Sometimes the action following a sentence of dialogue
would run on with various descriptions. It felt like a lot for the reader to take in at
once. I think that clarifying these sections and separating some of the
accompanying action into separate sentences will be beneficial to a reader, which
is why I made the suggestions above. I also think I helped her understand the
importance of communicating how a character delivers their dialogue. If the
reader doesn’t know how the words are being delivered then a lot of the impact
the author originally intended can get lost. I think I was able to offer these
suggestions because I worked very hard on practicing my own writing of dialogue.
I wanted to make sure I wove action and impact into sections where my
characters were speaking, so I hope this emphasis transferred to Laura within my
critique.




                                                                                     18
“Molly and the Three Bears” by Lindsay Bayer
Critique by Laura D’Aveta (Post 2.5)

Laura’s Critique:

Lindsay, First off, I love the sort of "I'll show you" tone to Molly's imagination ...
"I'll show Mom to tell me 'use your imagination'" ... obstinate, yet there was the
challenge of Molly having to deal with her own fears once she was using her
imagination. It made me like her as a character right away. You also seemed to
have fun with turning the original Goldilocks tale on its ear a bit, which was great.
Reworkings of fairy tales to make them more "modern" or "accessible" is
entertaining.

Thank you addressing the fact that cooking porridge/oatmeal just plain stinks.
Nobody ever seems to acknowledge that oatmeal should only exist in cookie
form.

I enjoyed the way you moved Molly between reality and the "inner" story of "her"
Three Bears, but I found myself wanting more detail; something more tangible
than "suddenly she looked up" ... I have no idea what, but it seemed too abrupt a
transition. Likewise, the bears figuring out so quickly how she got there when she
didn't know herself ... I felt as though I wanted something more. I think I wanted
it to be more work for Molly to get back. I'm not sure why. (I'll keep thinking
about it and let you know if I figure it out!)




                                                                                    19
Reflection:

Laura’s critique was very helpful for me because she made me realize that I was
being too easy on my main character. I wasn’t pushing Molly (my main character)
to transition into much action that was harsh or difficult. She mentioned my
abrupt transitions and that really made me think about how I could stretch,
expand and make the main character’s circumstances more difficult. I think I was
being too easy on myself which translated into an easy story begging for more
conflict. Realizing this helped me in my revisions and I think my second try
allowed me to put Molly into more danger, which ultimately made the resolution
more successful and satisfying. I am still working on this story, but these initial
comments were very helpful in getting me to let my characters experience more
danger. I now trust myself to create more difficult action and solve problems
creatively within my writing.




                                                                                 20
“Re-Write of Journal 4.3” by Lindsay Bayer
Critique by Katie Hoeg (Post 4.3)

Katie’s Critique:

Hiya Lindsay, Nice work! Your journal entry about "Grandma" is lighthearted and
fun. I think it would be a great piece for children to connect with, as they are
often more technologically savvy than their grandparents! I like your inclusion of
TVs, Video games, and computers. I think it might be fun, too, to consider
eReaders, mp3 players, Cell phones, and maybe even exercise equipment.

I think this could be a cool picture book....especially if you were to consider a lot
of other sources of technology. I do have a few questions, to be sure. In the first
paragraph, you mention that Grandma didn't have a TV in her house for a long
time. In those first two sentences, you use the word "TV" multiple times and I got
a little confused. At first I thought she didn't have a TV at all, but then she did,
blah blah blah. It's a minor little thing, but maybe you could rephrase that
opening? Also, I LOVE the "switch" at the end of your first example....where
Grandma only smells electricity and you smell the pepperoni pizza. It was a
SHOCK to me! :) I wonder if you could connect those "shocks". Maybe the next
example after the TV could be Microwaves. And maybe the microwave could lead
to the mp3 player...and then to the computer....or something like that. :)

I think this is an excellent starting point! It is very fun and creative - I hope you
continue to work on it!




                                                                                        21
Reflection:

Katie’s critique helped me (once again) understand how little details can stick out
in a reader’s mind if they’re not completely clear. Katie, throughout the semester,
was very good about pointing out inconsistencies or confusing elements within a
storyline. I thought I would have a scene nailed, but Katie would find something
that seemed out of place. Admittedly, I found this a bit annoying at first. But I’ve
come to really cherish and appreciate Katie’s inconsistency-hunting because it
helped me further examine and self-edit my work. In this case, Katie also allowed
me to think about an alternative perspective for this story. Perhaps it would be
better suited as a picturebook with building tension (similar to If You Give a Mouse
a Cookie). Her perspective made me excited about this little piece again when I
initially thought I would walk away from it.




                                                                                  22
My Personal Philosophy Renewed

As I’ve learned throughout this course, stories for children hold important truths.
Children and adults are able to reflect on their own lives by using well-written
stories as mirrors to see lessons and applications for real situations. Because of
the power stories hold, authors of literature for children have an important
mission: to not only communicate with readers in an authentic way, but to
communicate matters of human experience. Children can easily relate to the
universal themes of love, anger, fear, curiosity, frustration and contentment just
as adults can.

At the start of this course, I did not possess the intimate knowledge of how to
communicate these human experiences within stories. I feel that my original
philosophy emphasized an exterior perception on children’s literature. I was very
concerned about authors representing various types of diverse childhoods
because that is what I saw as important as a consumer, not as an author. While I
still believe diversity is an essential component in the field of children’s literature,
my focus has shifted throughout this course as I have actually become a writer for
children. While no two children are identical, the emotions they experience in
different situations can often be similar. Therefore, a book written about one
child can still communicate important truths to a child that is not exactly like the
one portrayed in the story. I now feel that writing about these universal
similarities is essential in connecting people to stories.

I feel as though children’s literature holds a lot of power: it is able to connect
children to other children, unite young people and adults and clarify new
experiences and feelings to human beings, young and old. Writing with
authenticity and a personal voice is essential for an author. But I have also
learned that when authors utilize their voice to write literature for children that
reveals information about how they can operate within a complex world, children
develop an inner authenticity within themselves.




                                                                                      23
Part Three




             24
Author’s Note

This course has allowed me to experience a variety of emotions, sometimes
within the same day or even hour. I have been excited, frustrated and unnerved
by the various assignments that have come my way, but I’ve never been
completely satisfied.

And I’m glad.

I’m glad because through all of the emotional ups and downs, I’ve been writing
through it all. I’ve taken pen to paper (and fingers to keyboard) and I’ve created.
I’ve let inspiration flow through me and not stop at merely a thought or an idea.
I’ve made attempts, great and unpleasant. I’ve made outlines and drafts. I’ve
created stories.

I would like to thank Professor Susan Campbell Bartoletti and the fabulous girls in
Writer’s Workshop #2 who pushed and encouraged me throughout the semester.
It seems as though they were always there with a hopeful word when I was in the
midst of a particularly frustrating moment.

I’m glad that I leave this course with friends, stories, tools and (especially)
dissatisfaction. I feel the latter will be the source to push me in continuing my
journey of becoming a writer upon the conclusion of this class and upon the
conclusion of my graduate studies at Penn State.




                                                                                    25
About the Author

Lindsay Bayer is a children’s author concentrating on literature for preschool and
kindergarten aged students. She is pursuing her Master’s Degree in Children’s
Literature from Penn State University. Lindsay has worked exclusively in the field
of early childhood education as a teacher, consultant and quality standards
coordinator. She is also active in community organizations that raise awareness
of issues facing children and families. Lindsay and her husband Christopher reside
in Western Illinois. In her free time, Lindsay enjoys reading, practicing yoga and
volunteering.




                                                                                26
Recommendations

Lindsay’s whimsical tales take children right into her stories where they can see,
feel, and experience what they are reading. She has produced great tales to spark
the imagination and have some fun! There are very few good stories like
Lindsay’s out there today.
Carri Jones
Children’s Ministry Worker
Orion, IL

I’m incredibly excited to read Lindsay’s stories to my own son. Her words capture
the fun, imagination and warmth of being a child. I can’t wait to read more of her
work.
Miranda Vinar
Mother
Moline, IL

Lindsay’s writing is great for children and also adults looking for a cute pick-me-
up. Look for Lindsay as an up-and-coming children’s author.
Denise Algren
Training Executive
Sherrard, IL

The humor and creativity Lindsay has woven into her tales is fresh but lasting.
Her books will delight children for generations to come.
Kristina Kay Bernal
Mother and Artist
Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

Lindsay has worked with children for years and has paid attention to the small
details that capture a child’s attention while they’re reading. She is determined
to help children develop a lifelong love of learning and her books will help young
people do just that.
Vera Hinrichsen
Preschool Director
Rock Island, IL



                                                                                      27

Más contenido relacionado

Destacado

Title page, copyright, dedication
Title page, copyright, dedicationTitle page, copyright, dedication
Title page, copyright, dedicationlkb5094
 
Virtualnet2
Virtualnet2Virtualnet2
Virtualnet2Nagiusa
 
Accounting charts
Accounting chartsAccounting charts
Accounting chartsDavid Jones
 
Da kurven knækkede - iværksætteri og stress
Da kurven knækkede - iværksætteri og stressDa kurven knækkede - iværksætteri og stress
Da kurven knækkede - iværksætteri og stressJonathan Løw
 
David Jones CPFA FCCA (UK)
David Jones CPFA FCCA (UK)David Jones CPFA FCCA (UK)
David Jones CPFA FCCA (UK)David Jones
 
Information communication technology and the government
Information communication technology and the governmentInformation communication technology and the government
Information communication technology and the governmentMardel B. Del Castillo
 
Introduction to software engineering
Introduction to software engineeringIntroduction to software engineering
Introduction to software engineeringHitesh Mohapatra
 
Hvad skal dit investor pitch indeholde
Hvad skal dit investor pitch indeholdeHvad skal dit investor pitch indeholde
Hvad skal dit investor pitch indeholdeJonathan Løw
 
The Materials Science of Ballbonding
The Materials Science of BallbondingThe Materials Science of Ballbonding
The Materials Science of BallbondingChristopher Breach
 
DNN音声合成のための Anti-spoofing を考慮した学習アルゴリズム
DNN音声合成のための Anti-spoofing を考慮した学習アルゴリズムDNN音声合成のための Anti-spoofing を考慮した学習アルゴリズム
DNN音声合成のための Anti-spoofing を考慮した学習アルゴリズムYuki Saito
 
An Elementary Introduction to Intermetallics in Ball Bonds
An Elementary Introduction to Intermetallics in Ball BondsAn Elementary Introduction to Intermetallics in Ball Bonds
An Elementary Introduction to Intermetallics in Ball BondsChristopher Breach
 

Destacado (12)

Balls & Sportswear
Balls & SportswearBalls & Sportswear
Balls & Sportswear
 
Title page, copyright, dedication
Title page, copyright, dedicationTitle page, copyright, dedication
Title page, copyright, dedication
 
Virtualnet2
Virtualnet2Virtualnet2
Virtualnet2
 
Accounting charts
Accounting chartsAccounting charts
Accounting charts
 
Da kurven knækkede - iværksætteri og stress
Da kurven knækkede - iværksætteri og stressDa kurven knækkede - iværksætteri og stress
Da kurven knækkede - iværksætteri og stress
 
David Jones CPFA FCCA (UK)
David Jones CPFA FCCA (UK)David Jones CPFA FCCA (UK)
David Jones CPFA FCCA (UK)
 
Information communication technology and the government
Information communication technology and the governmentInformation communication technology and the government
Information communication technology and the government
 
Introduction to software engineering
Introduction to software engineeringIntroduction to software engineering
Introduction to software engineering
 
Hvad skal dit investor pitch indeholde
Hvad skal dit investor pitch indeholdeHvad skal dit investor pitch indeholde
Hvad skal dit investor pitch indeholde
 
The Materials Science of Ballbonding
The Materials Science of BallbondingThe Materials Science of Ballbonding
The Materials Science of Ballbonding
 
DNN音声合成のための Anti-spoofing を考慮した学習アルゴリズム
DNN音声合成のための Anti-spoofing を考慮した学習アルゴリズムDNN音声合成のための Anti-spoofing を考慮した学習アルゴリズム
DNN音声合成のための Anti-spoofing を考慮した学習アルゴリズム
 
An Elementary Introduction to Intermetallics in Ball Bonds
An Elementary Introduction to Intermetallics in Ball BondsAn Elementary Introduction to Intermetallics in Ball Bonds
An Elementary Introduction to Intermetallics in Ball Bonds
 

Similar a Lindsay Bayer e-Portfolio

4 aeso writing_show_dont_tell
4 aeso writing_show_dont_tell4 aeso writing_show_dont_tell
4 aeso writing_show_dont_tellElena T
 
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docxodiliagilby
 
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docxalinainglis
 
Evolution of a Librarian
Evolution of a LibrarianEvolution of a Librarian
Evolution of a Librariansuzanne sherry
 
Drawing Conclusion of grade 5 students( for all)
Drawing Conclusion of grade 5 students( for all)Drawing Conclusion of grade 5 students( for all)
Drawing Conclusion of grade 5 students( for all)RenatoPinto37
 
Here Comes Everyone - The Disgust Issue
Here Comes Everyone - The Disgust IssueHere Comes Everyone - The Disgust Issue
Here Comes Everyone - The Disgust IssueAdam Steiner
 
CASE 20 Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in the voices o.docx
CASE 20 Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in the voices o.docxCASE 20 Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in the voices o.docx
CASE 20 Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in the voices o.docxwendolynhalbert
 
OWBC Scrapbooks Prologue Part 1
OWBC Scrapbooks Prologue Part 1OWBC Scrapbooks Prologue Part 1
OWBC Scrapbooks Prologue Part 1eveningsky
 

Similar a Lindsay Bayer e-Portfolio (11)

Portfolio
PortfolioPortfolio
Portfolio
 
4 aeso writing_show_dont_tell
4 aeso writing_show_dont_tell4 aeso writing_show_dont_tell
4 aeso writing_show_dont_tell
 
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
 
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
· You Decide The Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in t.docx
 
Narative Essay Example
Narative Essay ExampleNarative Essay Example
Narative Essay Example
 
Evolution of a Librarian
Evolution of a LibrarianEvolution of a Librarian
Evolution of a Librarian
 
Drawing Conclusion of grade 5 students( for all)
Drawing Conclusion of grade 5 students( for all)Drawing Conclusion of grade 5 students( for all)
Drawing Conclusion of grade 5 students( for all)
 
Flying to af!
Flying to af!Flying to af!
Flying to af!
 
Here Comes Everyone - The Disgust Issue
Here Comes Everyone - The Disgust IssueHere Comes Everyone - The Disgust Issue
Here Comes Everyone - The Disgust Issue
 
CASE 20 Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in the voices o.docx
CASE 20 Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in the voices o.docxCASE 20 Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in the voices o.docx
CASE 20 Case of SuzanneThis case is presented in the voices o.docx
 
OWBC Scrapbooks Prologue Part 1
OWBC Scrapbooks Prologue Part 1OWBC Scrapbooks Prologue Part 1
OWBC Scrapbooks Prologue Part 1
 

Último

Lucknow 💋 (Call Girls) in Lucknow | Book 8923113531 Extreme Naughty Call Girl...
Lucknow 💋 (Call Girls) in Lucknow | Book 8923113531 Extreme Naughty Call Girl...Lucknow 💋 (Call Girls) in Lucknow | Book 8923113531 Extreme Naughty Call Girl...
Lucknow 💋 (Call Girls) in Lucknow | Book 8923113531 Extreme Naughty Call Girl...anilsa9823
 
St John's Church Parish Diary for May 2024
St John's Church Parish Diary for May 2024St John's Church Parish Diary for May 2024
St John's Church Parish Diary for May 2024Chris Lyne
 
Elite Class ➥8448380779▻ Call Girls In Naraina Delhi NCR
Elite Class ➥8448380779▻ Call Girls In Naraina Delhi NCRElite Class ➥8448380779▻ Call Girls In Naraina Delhi NCR
Elite Class ➥8448380779▻ Call Girls In Naraina Delhi NCRDelhi Call girls
 
Vashikaran Specialist in London Black Magic Removal No 1 Astrologer in UK
Vashikaran Specialist in London Black Magic Removal No 1 Astrologer in UKVashikaran Specialist in London Black Magic Removal No 1 Astrologer in UK
Vashikaran Specialist in London Black Magic Removal No 1 Astrologer in UKAmil Baba Naveed Bangali
 
call girls in rohini sector 22 Delhi 8264348440 ✅ call girls ❤️
call girls in rohini sector 22 Delhi 8264348440 ✅ call girls ❤️call girls in rohini sector 22 Delhi 8264348440 ✅ call girls ❤️
call girls in rohini sector 22 Delhi 8264348440 ✅ call girls ❤️soniya singh
 
Authentic Black magic, Kala ilam expert in UAE and Kala ilam specialist in S...
Authentic Black magic, Kala ilam expert in UAE  and Kala ilam specialist in S...Authentic Black magic, Kala ilam expert in UAE  and Kala ilam specialist in S...
Authentic Black magic, Kala ilam expert in UAE and Kala ilam specialist in S...baharayali
 
Real Amil baba in Pakistan Real NO1 Amil baba Kala Jado Amil baba RAwalpindi ...
Real Amil baba in Pakistan Real NO1 Amil baba Kala Jado Amil baba RAwalpindi ...Real Amil baba in Pakistan Real NO1 Amil baba Kala Jado Amil baba RAwalpindi ...
Real Amil baba in Pakistan Real NO1 Amil baba Kala Jado Amil baba RAwalpindi ...Amil Baba Company
 
Top Astrologer in UK Best Vashikaran Specialist in England Amil baba Contact ...
Top Astrologer in UK Best Vashikaran Specialist in England Amil baba Contact ...Top Astrologer in UK Best Vashikaran Specialist in England Amil baba Contact ...
Top Astrologer in UK Best Vashikaran Specialist in England Amil baba Contact ...Amil Baba Naveed Bangali
 
Part 1 of the Holy Quran- Alif Laam Meem
Part 1 of the Holy Quran- Alif Laam MeemPart 1 of the Holy Quran- Alif Laam Meem
Part 1 of the Holy Quran- Alif Laam MeemAbdullahMohammed282920
 
St. John's Church Parish Magazine - May 2024
St. John's Church Parish Magazine - May 2024St. John's Church Parish Magazine - May 2024
St. John's Church Parish Magazine - May 2024Chris Lyne
 
肄业证书结业证书《德国汉堡大学成绩单修改》Q微信741003700提供德国文凭照片可完整复刻汉堡大学毕业证精仿版本《【德国毕业证书】{汉堡大学文凭购买}》
肄业证书结业证书《德国汉堡大学成绩单修改》Q微信741003700提供德国文凭照片可完整复刻汉堡大学毕业证精仿版本《【德国毕业证书】{汉堡大学文凭购买}》肄业证书结业证书《德国汉堡大学成绩单修改》Q微信741003700提供德国文凭照片可完整复刻汉堡大学毕业证精仿版本《【德国毕业证书】{汉堡大学文凭购买}》
肄业证书结业证书《德国汉堡大学成绩单修改》Q微信741003700提供德国文凭照片可完整复刻汉堡大学毕业证精仿版本《【德国毕业证书】{汉堡大学文凭购买}》2tofliij
 
Lesson 4 - How to Conduct Yourself on a Walk.pptx
Lesson 4 - How to Conduct Yourself on a Walk.pptxLesson 4 - How to Conduct Yourself on a Walk.pptx
Lesson 4 - How to Conduct Yourself on a Walk.pptxCelso Napoleon
 
Surah Yasin and Daily Spiritual Practices
Surah Yasin and Daily Spiritual PracticesSurah Yasin and Daily Spiritual Practices
Surah Yasin and Daily Spiritual Practicesaijazuddin14
 
Dgital-Self-UTS-exploring-the-digital-self.pptx
Dgital-Self-UTS-exploring-the-digital-self.pptxDgital-Self-UTS-exploring-the-digital-self.pptx
Dgital-Self-UTS-exploring-the-digital-self.pptxsantosem70
 
Flores de Mayo-history and origin we need to understand
Flores de Mayo-history and origin we need to understandFlores de Mayo-history and origin we need to understand
Flores de Mayo-history and origin we need to understandvillamilcecil909
 
The_Chronological_Life_of_Christ_Part_98_Jesus_Frees_Us
The_Chronological_Life_of_Christ_Part_98_Jesus_Frees_UsThe_Chronological_Life_of_Christ_Part_98_Jesus_Frees_Us
The_Chronological_Life_of_Christ_Part_98_Jesus_Frees_UsNetwork Bible Fellowship
 
(NISHA) Call Girls Sanath Nagar ✔️Just Call 7001035870✔️ HI-Fi Hyderabad Esco...
(NISHA) Call Girls Sanath Nagar ✔️Just Call 7001035870✔️ HI-Fi Hyderabad Esco...(NISHA) Call Girls Sanath Nagar ✔️Just Call 7001035870✔️ HI-Fi Hyderabad Esco...
(NISHA) Call Girls Sanath Nagar ✔️Just Call 7001035870✔️ HI-Fi Hyderabad Esco...Sanjna Singh
 

Último (20)

Lucknow 💋 (Call Girls) in Lucknow | Book 8923113531 Extreme Naughty Call Girl...
Lucknow 💋 (Call Girls) in Lucknow | Book 8923113531 Extreme Naughty Call Girl...Lucknow 💋 (Call Girls) in Lucknow | Book 8923113531 Extreme Naughty Call Girl...
Lucknow 💋 (Call Girls) in Lucknow | Book 8923113531 Extreme Naughty Call Girl...
 
St John's Church Parish Diary for May 2024
St John's Church Parish Diary for May 2024St John's Church Parish Diary for May 2024
St John's Church Parish Diary for May 2024
 
Rohini Sector 21 Call Girls Delhi 9999965857 @Sabina Saikh No Advance
Rohini Sector 21 Call Girls Delhi 9999965857 @Sabina Saikh No AdvanceRohini Sector 21 Call Girls Delhi 9999965857 @Sabina Saikh No Advance
Rohini Sector 21 Call Girls Delhi 9999965857 @Sabina Saikh No Advance
 
Elite Class ➥8448380779▻ Call Girls In Naraina Delhi NCR
Elite Class ➥8448380779▻ Call Girls In Naraina Delhi NCRElite Class ➥8448380779▻ Call Girls In Naraina Delhi NCR
Elite Class ➥8448380779▻ Call Girls In Naraina Delhi NCR
 
Vashikaran Specialist in London Black Magic Removal No 1 Astrologer in UK
Vashikaran Specialist in London Black Magic Removal No 1 Astrologer in UKVashikaran Specialist in London Black Magic Removal No 1 Astrologer in UK
Vashikaran Specialist in London Black Magic Removal No 1 Astrologer in UK
 
call girls in rohini sector 22 Delhi 8264348440 ✅ call girls ❤️
call girls in rohini sector 22 Delhi 8264348440 ✅ call girls ❤️call girls in rohini sector 22 Delhi 8264348440 ✅ call girls ❤️
call girls in rohini sector 22 Delhi 8264348440 ✅ call girls ❤️
 
Authentic Black magic, Kala ilam expert in UAE and Kala ilam specialist in S...
Authentic Black magic, Kala ilam expert in UAE  and Kala ilam specialist in S...Authentic Black magic, Kala ilam expert in UAE  and Kala ilam specialist in S...
Authentic Black magic, Kala ilam expert in UAE and Kala ilam specialist in S...
 
Real Amil baba in Pakistan Real NO1 Amil baba Kala Jado Amil baba RAwalpindi ...
Real Amil baba in Pakistan Real NO1 Amil baba Kala Jado Amil baba RAwalpindi ...Real Amil baba in Pakistan Real NO1 Amil baba Kala Jado Amil baba RAwalpindi ...
Real Amil baba in Pakistan Real NO1 Amil baba Kala Jado Amil baba RAwalpindi ...
 
Top Astrologer in UK Best Vashikaran Specialist in England Amil baba Contact ...
Top Astrologer in UK Best Vashikaran Specialist in England Amil baba Contact ...Top Astrologer in UK Best Vashikaran Specialist in England Amil baba Contact ...
Top Astrologer in UK Best Vashikaran Specialist in England Amil baba Contact ...
 
Part 1 of the Holy Quran- Alif Laam Meem
Part 1 of the Holy Quran- Alif Laam MeemPart 1 of the Holy Quran- Alif Laam Meem
Part 1 of the Holy Quran- Alif Laam Meem
 
St. John's Church Parish Magazine - May 2024
St. John's Church Parish Magazine - May 2024St. John's Church Parish Magazine - May 2024
St. John's Church Parish Magazine - May 2024
 
肄业证书结业证书《德国汉堡大学成绩单修改》Q微信741003700提供德国文凭照片可完整复刻汉堡大学毕业证精仿版本《【德国毕业证书】{汉堡大学文凭购买}》
肄业证书结业证书《德国汉堡大学成绩单修改》Q微信741003700提供德国文凭照片可完整复刻汉堡大学毕业证精仿版本《【德国毕业证书】{汉堡大学文凭购买}》肄业证书结业证书《德国汉堡大学成绩单修改》Q微信741003700提供德国文凭照片可完整复刻汉堡大学毕业证精仿版本《【德国毕业证书】{汉堡大学文凭购买}》
肄业证书结业证书《德国汉堡大学成绩单修改》Q微信741003700提供德国文凭照片可完整复刻汉堡大学毕业证精仿版本《【德国毕业证书】{汉堡大学文凭购买}》
 
Lesson 4 - How to Conduct Yourself on a Walk.pptx
Lesson 4 - How to Conduct Yourself on a Walk.pptxLesson 4 - How to Conduct Yourself on a Walk.pptx
Lesson 4 - How to Conduct Yourself on a Walk.pptx
 
English - The Story of Ahikar, Grand Vizier of Assyria.pdf
English - The Story of Ahikar, Grand Vizier of Assyria.pdfEnglish - The Story of Ahikar, Grand Vizier of Assyria.pdf
English - The Story of Ahikar, Grand Vizier of Assyria.pdf
 
Call Girls In Nehru Place 📱 9999965857 🤩 Delhi 🫦 HOT AND SEXY VVIP 🍎 SERVICE
Call Girls In Nehru Place 📱  9999965857  🤩 Delhi 🫦 HOT AND SEXY VVIP 🍎 SERVICECall Girls In Nehru Place 📱  9999965857  🤩 Delhi 🫦 HOT AND SEXY VVIP 🍎 SERVICE
Call Girls In Nehru Place 📱 9999965857 🤩 Delhi 🫦 HOT AND SEXY VVIP 🍎 SERVICE
 
Surah Yasin and Daily Spiritual Practices
Surah Yasin and Daily Spiritual PracticesSurah Yasin and Daily Spiritual Practices
Surah Yasin and Daily Spiritual Practices
 
Dgital-Self-UTS-exploring-the-digital-self.pptx
Dgital-Self-UTS-exploring-the-digital-self.pptxDgital-Self-UTS-exploring-the-digital-self.pptx
Dgital-Self-UTS-exploring-the-digital-self.pptx
 
Flores de Mayo-history and origin we need to understand
Flores de Mayo-history and origin we need to understandFlores de Mayo-history and origin we need to understand
Flores de Mayo-history and origin we need to understand
 
The_Chronological_Life_of_Christ_Part_98_Jesus_Frees_Us
The_Chronological_Life_of_Christ_Part_98_Jesus_Frees_UsThe_Chronological_Life_of_Christ_Part_98_Jesus_Frees_Us
The_Chronological_Life_of_Christ_Part_98_Jesus_Frees_Us
 
(NISHA) Call Girls Sanath Nagar ✔️Just Call 7001035870✔️ HI-Fi Hyderabad Esco...
(NISHA) Call Girls Sanath Nagar ✔️Just Call 7001035870✔️ HI-Fi Hyderabad Esco...(NISHA) Call Girls Sanath Nagar ✔️Just Call 7001035870✔️ HI-Fi Hyderabad Esco...
(NISHA) Call Girls Sanath Nagar ✔️Just Call 7001035870✔️ HI-Fi Hyderabad Esco...
 

Lindsay Bayer e-Portfolio

  • 1. Lindsay Bayer e-Portfolio of Original Work LLED 597G: Writing for Children Instructor: Susan Campbell Bartoletti 1
  • 2. © 2011 Lindsay Bayer All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of Lindsay Bayer. 2
  • 3. To Chris: for recognizing the nerd within me, and loving me regardless. 3
  • 4. Table of Contents Part One: Option B .............................................................................................. 5 Yoga Makes Me Feel ............................................................................................6 I Think My Cat Needs Glasses...............................................................................8 My Dog Stole My Pajamas……………………………………………………………………………….10 Part Two ........................................................................................................... 14 Critique for Michelle ..........................................................................................15 Critique for Laura ..............................................................................................17 Critique from Laura…………………………………………………………………………………………19 Critique from Katie………………………………………………………………………………………….21 My Personal Philosophy Renewed………………………………………………………………….23 Part Three………………………………………………………………………………………………………24 Author’s Note…………………………………………………………………………………………………25 About the Author…………………………………………………………………………………………..26 Recommendations…………………………………………………………………………………………27 4
  • 6. Yoga Makes Me Feel… Yoga makes me feel excited. When I wake up in the morning, hearing the birds sing and seeing the first rays of sunlight, I stand tall in Mountain Pose. With my back straight and my shoulders down, I reach my arms over my head and look up. I imagine reaching for the sun in the sky. As I hear Mom yell, “Time for breakfast,” I feel strong and ready for the day ahead. Yoga makes me feel balanced. Before I climb the jungle gym on the playground, I stand up straight and bring one ankle to the top of my other leg in Tree Pose. I raise my arms over my head and balance for a few seconds. My friends become trees too. The breeze blows, shaking our branches. “Woah, woah!” we say as we giggle and try to remain still. We switch legs and start over on the other side. Yoga makes me feel sturdy and ready to play. Yoga makes me feel calm. When my teacher announces, “Attention class, please clear your desks. It’s time for a pop quiz in math,” I begin to feel nervous. But then I remember to take slow, deep breaths in and out of my nose. This is called Pranayama. I close my eyes for a moment and listen to the air flowing in and out of my body. My nerves are clamed and my mind is focused. “Just stop and take a deep breath,” I tell my desk partner as she bites her bottom lip. Yoga makes me feel prepared and confident to take my quiz. Yoga makes me feel peaceful. I look out my bedroom window and see the stars glimmering in the dark sky. In my warn pajamas, I kneel on the floor and sit on my heels. I slowly lay my body on my legs and relax into Child’s Pose. As I think back on my day, I feel grateful for all that’s happened. I slowly breathe in and out… in and out. “Goodnight, my love,” I hear Mom say as she peeks into my room. Yoga makes me feel thankful and ready for a good night’s sleep. 6
  • 7. Personal Reflection: I started freewriting about yoga one day this semester because I’ve noticed how much better I feel after consistent practice. I also noticed that yoga helped me in the writing process. It helped me eliminate distractions and settle in on the method of creating. With consistent yoga practice I’m more aware, calm and focused. This made me think about how children could benefit from yoga too as they move through the day; from waking up in the morning, to going to school, to falling asleep. That’s where this picturebook idea comes from. I visualize the illustrations showing the poses in the context of the story, then perhaps step-by- step illustrations at the end of the book. I also feel like this could be the beginning of a series of books, considering the numerous poses and benefits of yoga. 7
  • 8. I Think My Cat Needs Glasses I think my cat needs glasses. I’m sure she cannot see. She’s made friends with a mouse and gives my bird the third degree. She runs away from squeaky toys and snubs the goldfish bowl. Instead she likes to bat around my purple fishing pole. She runs away when I prepare her bowl of kitty food. Just the thought of Kitty Chow gives her an attitude. Even as the smell of fish and chicken fill the air, She’d rather jump into my drawer to hunt my underwear. She doesn’t chase her tail and she won’t ever climb a tree. Instead she stays inside to watch reality TV. She jumps off of my bed and flaps her paws just like a bat. I think my cat needs glasses to remember she’s a cat! 8
  • 9. Personal Reflection: This poem/picturebook idea was the hybrid of two separate freewriting experiences: one about my cat and one about my own glasses. They seemed like such boring topics at the time, but I’m so glad I was able to combine them into this really fun and funky story about a crazy cat. I’ve been a complete advocate of the freewriting process; even when I thought I had very little to write about I was able to conjure up various ideas like this one. This poem is based more on reality than any of you will ever realize. Much of it is about my own cat, Arrow. In fact, Arrow is constantly jumping into open drawers to attack our laundry. She ignores the myriad of expensive cat toys we’ve purchased to instead chase wine corks. And, worst of all, she is hands-down the pickiest eater I know (animal OR human). I hope you enjoy this semi-pseudo ode to my cat, Arrow. PS – I think a lot could be done with the illustrations. I imagine my own home when going through the lines, but I think an illustrator could really have fun designing the household. 9
  • 10. My Dog Stole My Pajamas It was nearly bedtime. I was cold from my bath and ready to crawl into my warm pajamas. But I couldn’t find them anywhere. They weren’t in the drawer. They weren’t in the laundry basket. They weren’t in the bathroom, in the closet or under the bed. How did I lose my pajamas? They couldn’t have just walked away. I looked to my left. I looked to my right. I looked up to the ceiling. I looked down to the floor. That’s when I saw him, standing in the hall. It was Archie, my big, yellow dog. And HE was wearing my pajamas! His tail was wagging and his tongue was hanging from his mouth. He rolled on his back with his paws in the air. He grinned at me. I reached to grab Archie, but it was too late. Archie raced down the hall towards the kitchen. As he ran past the cabinets…WOOSH! Archie slipped on Mom’s apron. 10
  • 11. The apron flew into the air and landed right around Archie’s head. I chased him towards the mudroom, but I still couldn’t catch him. Archie ran through a row of shoes piled on the floor…CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMP! Two sneakers, a boot and a high heel became fixed to Archie’s paws. He clomped towards the front door with my pajamas, Mom’s apron and all four shoes sticking right to him. I chased Archie around the coat tree, trying to corner him when…BOOM! The coat tree toppled over. A parka landed on Archie’s back with its hood covering his eyes. Archie, now wearing my pajamas, mom’s apron, four shoes and a parka, made his way back down the hall towards the bathroom. I chased him inside and…SPLASH! Archie jumped right into the bathtub, still full of water and bubbles from my bath. Archie was soaking, but he didn’t stop. He ran back into my bedroom, dripping wet. I cornered him near my closet. Archie had nowhere to go. Tiny bubbles on his nose started to pop, when…AAAA, AAAA, AAAA-CHOOOOOO! Archie sneezed a great sneeze, blowing the parka from his back. Without the parka, Archie was cold. He began to shiver and shake. 11
  • 12. Archie shook his paws and the shoes came right off, flying into the corners of my bedroom. Archie then shook his head so hard that the apron came loose. With one last great shake, Archie freed my pajamas from his back. As my pajamas, cold and wet, landed in my hands, Archie ran out of my bedroom with his yellow tail wagging. As I found some dry pajamas in my drawer, I thought I saw something from the corner of my eye. When I turned around to crawl into bed, something was missing. Where did my teddy bear go? I wondered. That’s when I saw Archie at my bedroom door, grinning, with my teddy bear in his slobbery mouth. 12
  • 13. Personal Reflection: For some reason, stories featuring pets seemed to come to me this semester. Time spent in freewriting also led me to this idea about a little boy whose dog has stolen his pajamas. I was remembering a time when my cat used to run around the house with one of my slippers in her mouth making me chase her down. I wanted to create a story about this frustration, but do so in layers. In this case, the dog gets into more and more trouble as he’s chased through the house. I think the dog is mischievous, but still cute and comical for young children. I also wanted the story to feel like it could continue in a child’s mind, so I ended it with the dog (after returning the pajamas) taking the teddy bear off the little boy’s bed to begin another chase through the house. 13
  • 14. Part Two 14
  • 15. “My Best Friend Wendy” by Michelle Liposky (Post 5.7) My original critique: Thanks for sharing this poem. I think you’ve captured a lot of the small details of childhood summer and friendship. I also think that this poem would be child- centric because it communicates ideas about common elements of childhood and how powerful early friendships are. You also touch on the heartbreak of losing a friend, something that so many children have to deal with. I do think you need to decide if you want your poem to rhyme or not. Some lines rhymed while others did not, so it was hard for me to read with a rhythm in mind which was a little distracting. But the content is great and I think you could do a lot with these memoires of yours. Have you thought about transforming these memories into more of a narrative? I think the joy of having friendship and the sadness of losing it would be a good picturebook story for young children. You could express what you learned from this friendship, even though it was taken away from you. 15
  • 16. Reflection: I think my critique was helpful to Michelle because I focused on the structure of her poem. As a reader, I found it difficult to “flow” through her poem because there was no clear format. I also found myself wanting more of a personal take on this situation, so I suggested that she incorporate a narrative format to allow the reader to engage more with the delicate and human elements within the piece. I think the details of her poem are very important for children to learn, especially the potential of losing a friend, so I encouraged her use of these fine details. Looking back I think her piece taught me a lot about incorporating more child-centric elements into my own work. She took such care to bring up memories of childhood (like mud pies, truth or dare and fighting to keep clean) and I realized that many of these details still ring true in the ears of children. 16
  • 17. “Ellie Story Continued – Practice with Dialogue” by Laura D’Aveta (Post 8.9) My Original Critique: Hi Laura - I'm enjoying learning even more about Ellie. Since we're talking about dialogue this week, I'll comment on those sections of your piece. First, I think there are many instances where you did a good job showing action and emotion within your dialogue sequences. But there are some sections where I think this could be stronger and/or clearer. For example: “Did you draw these?” Devlin had Ellie’s notebook clenched in his fist, and he stomped towards her, bending nearly in half as he thrust his face in hers, hot air washing over her skin. I think you need to either explain how Devlin asked this question (as it seemed to stir up a lot of emotion within him). For me, this would offer a clearer picture of Ellie's reactions. Maybe like this: “Did you draw these?” Devlin asked angrily as he clenched Ellie’s notebook in his fist. He stomped towards Ellie, bending nearly in half as he thrust his face in hers. I think there are other instances of dialogue that could be clarified through explaining the action with simpler sentences: “Come with me.” Quinn stood, unfolding his body and stretching, giving Ellie space but watching to make sure she followed him up the narrow to the attic. to “Come with me,” Quinn said as he stood. As he unfolded his body, he kept his eyes on Ellie, making sure she followed him to the attic. I think just paying attention to the areas where you can clarify the action within the dialogue will help you communicate Ellie's feelings better to the readers. Overall, I think your story is progressing well and I'm excited to read more! 17
  • 18. Reflection: I believe that my critique helped Laura clarify the dialogue within her scene. I feel that Laura was trying to pack too much into sections where the characters were speaking to one another. Sometimes the action following a sentence of dialogue would run on with various descriptions. It felt like a lot for the reader to take in at once. I think that clarifying these sections and separating some of the accompanying action into separate sentences will be beneficial to a reader, which is why I made the suggestions above. I also think I helped her understand the importance of communicating how a character delivers their dialogue. If the reader doesn’t know how the words are being delivered then a lot of the impact the author originally intended can get lost. I think I was able to offer these suggestions because I worked very hard on practicing my own writing of dialogue. I wanted to make sure I wove action and impact into sections where my characters were speaking, so I hope this emphasis transferred to Laura within my critique. 18
  • 19. “Molly and the Three Bears” by Lindsay Bayer Critique by Laura D’Aveta (Post 2.5) Laura’s Critique: Lindsay, First off, I love the sort of "I'll show you" tone to Molly's imagination ... "I'll show Mom to tell me 'use your imagination'" ... obstinate, yet there was the challenge of Molly having to deal with her own fears once she was using her imagination. It made me like her as a character right away. You also seemed to have fun with turning the original Goldilocks tale on its ear a bit, which was great. Reworkings of fairy tales to make them more "modern" or "accessible" is entertaining. Thank you addressing the fact that cooking porridge/oatmeal just plain stinks. Nobody ever seems to acknowledge that oatmeal should only exist in cookie form. I enjoyed the way you moved Molly between reality and the "inner" story of "her" Three Bears, but I found myself wanting more detail; something more tangible than "suddenly she looked up" ... I have no idea what, but it seemed too abrupt a transition. Likewise, the bears figuring out so quickly how she got there when she didn't know herself ... I felt as though I wanted something more. I think I wanted it to be more work for Molly to get back. I'm not sure why. (I'll keep thinking about it and let you know if I figure it out!) 19
  • 20. Reflection: Laura’s critique was very helpful for me because she made me realize that I was being too easy on my main character. I wasn’t pushing Molly (my main character) to transition into much action that was harsh or difficult. She mentioned my abrupt transitions and that really made me think about how I could stretch, expand and make the main character’s circumstances more difficult. I think I was being too easy on myself which translated into an easy story begging for more conflict. Realizing this helped me in my revisions and I think my second try allowed me to put Molly into more danger, which ultimately made the resolution more successful and satisfying. I am still working on this story, but these initial comments were very helpful in getting me to let my characters experience more danger. I now trust myself to create more difficult action and solve problems creatively within my writing. 20
  • 21. “Re-Write of Journal 4.3” by Lindsay Bayer Critique by Katie Hoeg (Post 4.3) Katie’s Critique: Hiya Lindsay, Nice work! Your journal entry about "Grandma" is lighthearted and fun. I think it would be a great piece for children to connect with, as they are often more technologically savvy than their grandparents! I like your inclusion of TVs, Video games, and computers. I think it might be fun, too, to consider eReaders, mp3 players, Cell phones, and maybe even exercise equipment. I think this could be a cool picture book....especially if you were to consider a lot of other sources of technology. I do have a few questions, to be sure. In the first paragraph, you mention that Grandma didn't have a TV in her house for a long time. In those first two sentences, you use the word "TV" multiple times and I got a little confused. At first I thought she didn't have a TV at all, but then she did, blah blah blah. It's a minor little thing, but maybe you could rephrase that opening? Also, I LOVE the "switch" at the end of your first example....where Grandma only smells electricity and you smell the pepperoni pizza. It was a SHOCK to me! :) I wonder if you could connect those "shocks". Maybe the next example after the TV could be Microwaves. And maybe the microwave could lead to the mp3 player...and then to the computer....or something like that. :) I think this is an excellent starting point! It is very fun and creative - I hope you continue to work on it! 21
  • 22. Reflection: Katie’s critique helped me (once again) understand how little details can stick out in a reader’s mind if they’re not completely clear. Katie, throughout the semester, was very good about pointing out inconsistencies or confusing elements within a storyline. I thought I would have a scene nailed, but Katie would find something that seemed out of place. Admittedly, I found this a bit annoying at first. But I’ve come to really cherish and appreciate Katie’s inconsistency-hunting because it helped me further examine and self-edit my work. In this case, Katie also allowed me to think about an alternative perspective for this story. Perhaps it would be better suited as a picturebook with building tension (similar to If You Give a Mouse a Cookie). Her perspective made me excited about this little piece again when I initially thought I would walk away from it. 22
  • 23. My Personal Philosophy Renewed As I’ve learned throughout this course, stories for children hold important truths. Children and adults are able to reflect on their own lives by using well-written stories as mirrors to see lessons and applications for real situations. Because of the power stories hold, authors of literature for children have an important mission: to not only communicate with readers in an authentic way, but to communicate matters of human experience. Children can easily relate to the universal themes of love, anger, fear, curiosity, frustration and contentment just as adults can. At the start of this course, I did not possess the intimate knowledge of how to communicate these human experiences within stories. I feel that my original philosophy emphasized an exterior perception on children’s literature. I was very concerned about authors representing various types of diverse childhoods because that is what I saw as important as a consumer, not as an author. While I still believe diversity is an essential component in the field of children’s literature, my focus has shifted throughout this course as I have actually become a writer for children. While no two children are identical, the emotions they experience in different situations can often be similar. Therefore, a book written about one child can still communicate important truths to a child that is not exactly like the one portrayed in the story. I now feel that writing about these universal similarities is essential in connecting people to stories. I feel as though children’s literature holds a lot of power: it is able to connect children to other children, unite young people and adults and clarify new experiences and feelings to human beings, young and old. Writing with authenticity and a personal voice is essential for an author. But I have also learned that when authors utilize their voice to write literature for children that reveals information about how they can operate within a complex world, children develop an inner authenticity within themselves. 23
  • 25. Author’s Note This course has allowed me to experience a variety of emotions, sometimes within the same day or even hour. I have been excited, frustrated and unnerved by the various assignments that have come my way, but I’ve never been completely satisfied. And I’m glad. I’m glad because through all of the emotional ups and downs, I’ve been writing through it all. I’ve taken pen to paper (and fingers to keyboard) and I’ve created. I’ve let inspiration flow through me and not stop at merely a thought or an idea. I’ve made attempts, great and unpleasant. I’ve made outlines and drafts. I’ve created stories. I would like to thank Professor Susan Campbell Bartoletti and the fabulous girls in Writer’s Workshop #2 who pushed and encouraged me throughout the semester. It seems as though they were always there with a hopeful word when I was in the midst of a particularly frustrating moment. I’m glad that I leave this course with friends, stories, tools and (especially) dissatisfaction. I feel the latter will be the source to push me in continuing my journey of becoming a writer upon the conclusion of this class and upon the conclusion of my graduate studies at Penn State. 25
  • 26. About the Author Lindsay Bayer is a children’s author concentrating on literature for preschool and kindergarten aged students. She is pursuing her Master’s Degree in Children’s Literature from Penn State University. Lindsay has worked exclusively in the field of early childhood education as a teacher, consultant and quality standards coordinator. She is also active in community organizations that raise awareness of issues facing children and families. Lindsay and her husband Christopher reside in Western Illinois. In her free time, Lindsay enjoys reading, practicing yoga and volunteering. 26
  • 27. Recommendations Lindsay’s whimsical tales take children right into her stories where they can see, feel, and experience what they are reading. She has produced great tales to spark the imagination and have some fun! There are very few good stories like Lindsay’s out there today. Carri Jones Children’s Ministry Worker Orion, IL I’m incredibly excited to read Lindsay’s stories to my own son. Her words capture the fun, imagination and warmth of being a child. I can’t wait to read more of her work. Miranda Vinar Mother Moline, IL Lindsay’s writing is great for children and also adults looking for a cute pick-me- up. Look for Lindsay as an up-and-coming children’s author. Denise Algren Training Executive Sherrard, IL The humor and creativity Lindsay has woven into her tales is fresh but lasting. Her books will delight children for generations to come. Kristina Kay Bernal Mother and Artist Victoria, British Columbia, Canada Lindsay has worked with children for years and has paid attention to the small details that capture a child’s attention while they’re reading. She is determined to help children develop a lifelong love of learning and her books will help young people do just that. Vera Hinrichsen Preschool Director Rock Island, IL 27