1. Beauty in The Broken Hearted
Posted on September 26, 2013
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The wound is the place where the Light enters you. ~Rumi
Can You Find the Beauty in the Broken?
I sometimes joke that I was born jaded. A month early, my first picture after birth, I’ve got fists clenched and up in front
ready to duke it out with the world. And, for the first bit of my time on the outside that is exactly what I did, in an
incubator fighting for life.
With God’s grace, parent’s love and that fighting spirit, I grew. My dad called me his special care baby, from being on
special care formula. I fit in his hand. My poor mom was almost afraid to handle me and wondered how I could breathe
through such tiny nostrils.
But the struggle was beautiful, and strength was gained.
Wabi-Sabi Beauty through the Broken
It’s like the Japanese aesthetic of Wabi-sabi, a beauty and strengthening in the imperfect.
The beauty of wabi-sabi is in one respect, the condition of coming to terms with what you consider
ugly. Wabi-sabi suggests that beauty is a dynamic event that occurs between you and something
else. Beauty can spontaneously occur at any moment given the proper circumstances, context, or
point of view. Beauty is thus an altered state of consciousness, an extraordinary moment of poetry
and grace. ~Leonard Koren
I’ve personally felt quite a bit of loss in my short years, five deaths that have truly affected me. I’ve witnessed abuse,
seen and felt pain for others and myself, struggled with darkness, and sat with children, bellies extended from
malnutrition.
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2. With that, my heart, well… it’s broken, I’ll admit. I think maybe it always has been.
I don’t wear it on my sleeve, and some just can’t see how deep it runs. But, oh how deep.
I’m ok with this.
Yes, I have often struggled against it. But, I’m learning to embrace it because despite the pain, my wise heart gets to
feel love deeper too.
Relationships? Well, they can be challenging. As I begin to care, I find myself pulling back instead of forward. It’s the
struggle, the not wanting to allow, to feel. It takes a while for me to risk being open, but again, that’s ok.
It can be hard to love and allow love when it truly matters.
I have found, though, that the ones who really care, the ones I need in my life, don’t let my reluctance stop them. It’s
like a filter. Do I lose out on some? Perhaps, but those who don’t understand, likely never will. And, that’s ok too. I can
learn to let them go.
You see; I’m ok with being broken hearted because I think at its core is the path to true wholeness. To be hard, that’s
real brokenness, to feel nothing at all. But a soft heart, that is where life is allowed to seep in. That is where love lives.
That is where we grow and accept.
“A soft heart in it’s brokenness is where life seeps in.”
Feel Towards Beauty, Towards Life
I’ve taught myself not to stop feeling, but to feel in a different direction. A direction away from fear towards beauty. And,
I’m teaching myself to see the beauty everywhere. For my own spirit, beauty is a gift, a necessity. To focus on it, is
survival. It’s the direction of love.
An ongoing process for me, I have a long ways to go. But you know what…
…when I look for love and beauty that is just what I find.
I find children laughing in the park, I find rainbows over the mountains, I smell the rain, and taste the wind!
I feel and I live, and it’s life, marvelous life.
I was born a fighter, yes. And, I’m strong. But, I don’t want to be a fighter, a struggler with this life I’m living.
I want to be a lover. I want to love the beautiful things. I want to see the beautiful in everything.
A Lover ~ A Witness to the Beautiful Things ~ A Healer to the Broken

3. I want a heart that may appear broken to some, but is beautiful in its brokenness. It’s beautiful because it is creating in
me a deeper wholeness. It’s wholeness so deep that only those once broken can experience.
In her book, A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson talks about the Mists of Avalon, the impenetrable mists from the
tales of King Arthur that hide the magical island. You must believe the island is there for the mists to part. She goes on
to say that’s what a miracle is,
…a parting of the mists, a shift in perception, a return to love.
I want to experience that miracle and I want you to experience it!
A shift in perception about our broken hearts is just what we need. To believe that our wholeness is there, waiting. To
accept the magnificence of the process.
To see in the brokenness, the beauty that’s coming and already is. A return to love, a shift in perception. The knowing
that it’s the brokenness that is gifting our wholeness.
The moments I remember most fondly as a little girl are the moments where I let go of the struggle. My bare feet in the
creek with a salamander wriggling through my toes, or hands in a lump of clay, head full of endless possibilities.
That’s where life is.
It’s a magical presence with the now. It’s not fighting against hurt and fears of the past. It’s not struggling to hold
together pieces that no longer fit. It’s not in shaming the brokenness that once was and still is. It’s in seeing its beauty.
It’s the potential for ultimate healing.
It’s Wabi-sabi, coming to terms with what we consider ugly and seeing its inherent and significant exquisiteness.
It’s a letting go, a feeling what you feel, a presence with your heart. It’s the happy with the sad and a focusing on the
former while letting the latter strengthen and soften rather than harden you.
Yes, you may be deep into the darkness, but love and acceptance of the journey can pull you out….
…because the journey into darkness has been long and cruel, you have gone deep into it. ~A Course
in Miracles
The return to love and wholeness is a journey out of that depth. One from darkness into light. It’s a journey into the love
of life, into the love of your broken heart. It’s a journey where the beauty of your brokenness is revealed and makes you
more whole than you otherwise could have ever been.
Can you shift your perception? Can you see the lessons you have learned, the love you have gained, and the person
you have the potential to become if you allow your brokenness to also be your healing?

4. In the Broken Your Healing Lies
We can’t let the fear of brokenness or hurting hold us back. That is the one thing my broken heart has taught me. I still
have some work to do and I embrace that. I still need to release the past while accepting and learning from it.
I need to love deeper, and live truer than I’ve ever lived before. I need to risk the vulnerability and lean into the fear,
letting it teach me. I need to see the beauty of the journey.
That is courage, not fear’s absence, rather it’s pursuing without judgment, with love and understanding.
Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere
you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters. ~JohnGreen
A Greater Capacity for Hurt Brings A Greater Capacity for Love
When it matters, that’s when it can hurt the most, but also when the capacity for love is at its greatest. When it matters,
that’s when life is lived. When it matters, that’s where beauty is experienced, the brokenness and all.
When you let go of the struggle against your brokenness, when you let go of the judgment, when you begin to see the
beauty of your broken heart, well just maybe… you will find it’s not so broken after all.
Please feel what you need to feel and know there is beauty in it. The process is your healing. Take your time with the
beautiful, glorious process. I send you light and love from the bottom of my heart <3
XOXO,
Hil
If you know someone who could benefit from this post, please share. Thank you for
the beauty of your heart.
I know this post has been a bit long, but for those of you who are hurting, I just had to
add these lovely words from Lang Leav,
May Your Healing be The Most Beautiful Process of a Life Well Lived!

6. This entry was posted in Personal Growth and tagged a return to love, broken hearted, brokenness, healing,
healing a broken heart, heartbreak, love, vulnerability, Wabi-sabi by Lori Hil. Bookmark the permalink.
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