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Our Second Pitch.  Our story starts when, one night after school Marie and Johnny, two school friends who have always had eyes for each other  (CHARACTERS MOTIVATION) , slip away to the science labs and have started to get a bit too close  (NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT) . However, Marie starts to worry thinking her high-school boyfriend Alfie will find out  (LOGICAL CAUSALITY) . She tells Johnny how her relationship is not how she wants to be and is ruined with his jealousy  (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) . This conversation will be kept simple, but she will confide in Johnny how it affects her. She knows he will go insane so she suggests to Johnny they make a move. As they retreat Johnny finds they have been locked in  (PLOT TWIST & NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT) . Marie thinks he is messing with her until he starts to panic and shakes the door  (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) . Suddenly the lights black out, the trays of the lab start shaking, and the taps slowly begin to drip  (THEMATIC UNITY FOR A “THRILLER” GENRE) . The couple start to be become more and more curious as Johnny swears he hears footsteps  (THEMATIC UNITY) . It’s then when Marie finds something as she walks into the cupboard  (NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT) . An open box of matches and can of petrol are lying across the floor  (PLOT POINT) . She begins to freak until Johnny reassures her they are in a science lab, and it is probably the part of some experiment  (LOGICAL CAUSALITY) .
The story then skips to the next morning where newspaper headlines are flashing. A voice over will then play to tell that two school children were killed last night in the suspicions of a non-accidental fire  (PLOT TWIST)  whilst a very mournful looking Alfie  (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT)  is sitting in the playground holding a picture. The camera will zoom into his eyes and then a flashback scene will start. Different clips of Marie and Johnny innocently spending time with each other, for example walking to class, will show  (NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT)  and then cut to Alfie looking on  (CHARACTER MOTIVATION) , with his angry and frustrated emotions  (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT)  clearly on show. The flashback will then show Alfie and Marie walking along together, bickering that Alfie doesn’t want Marie to go out partying the weekend especially because he can’t go  (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) , when Marie’s phones rings. She talks on the phone laughing and giggling and then hangs up  (PLOT POINT) . Alfie asks who that was and she says one of the girls. She passes Alfie her bag to hold while she runs back to get something that she’s left behind in class. Alfie waits and once Marie’s out of sight he looks down her phone, to see her last received call was Johnny  (PLOT TWIST & ALFIE’S CHARACTER MOTIVATION) . The story then jumps forward to the present where Alfie is still sitting holding the picture.

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Locked Lab Love Triangle

  • 1. Our Second Pitch. Our story starts when, one night after school Marie and Johnny, two school friends who have always had eyes for each other (CHARACTERS MOTIVATION) , slip away to the science labs and have started to get a bit too close (NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT) . However, Marie starts to worry thinking her high-school boyfriend Alfie will find out (LOGICAL CAUSALITY) . She tells Johnny how her relationship is not how she wants to be and is ruined with his jealousy (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) . This conversation will be kept simple, but she will confide in Johnny how it affects her. She knows he will go insane so she suggests to Johnny they make a move. As they retreat Johnny finds they have been locked in (PLOT TWIST & NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT) . Marie thinks he is messing with her until he starts to panic and shakes the door (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) . Suddenly the lights black out, the trays of the lab start shaking, and the taps slowly begin to drip (THEMATIC UNITY FOR A “THRILLER” GENRE) . The couple start to be become more and more curious as Johnny swears he hears footsteps (THEMATIC UNITY) . It’s then when Marie finds something as she walks into the cupboard (NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT) . An open box of matches and can of petrol are lying across the floor (PLOT POINT) . She begins to freak until Johnny reassures her they are in a science lab, and it is probably the part of some experiment (LOGICAL CAUSALITY) .
  • 2. The story then skips to the next morning where newspaper headlines are flashing. A voice over will then play to tell that two school children were killed last night in the suspicions of a non-accidental fire (PLOT TWIST) whilst a very mournful looking Alfie (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) is sitting in the playground holding a picture. The camera will zoom into his eyes and then a flashback scene will start. Different clips of Marie and Johnny innocently spending time with each other, for example walking to class, will show (NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT) and then cut to Alfie looking on (CHARACTER MOTIVATION) , with his angry and frustrated emotions (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) clearly on show. The flashback will then show Alfie and Marie walking along together, bickering that Alfie doesn’t want Marie to go out partying the weekend especially because he can’t go (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT) , when Marie’s phones rings. She talks on the phone laughing and giggling and then hangs up (PLOT POINT) . Alfie asks who that was and she says one of the girls. She passes Alfie her bag to hold while she runs back to get something that she’s left behind in class. Alfie waits and once Marie’s out of sight he looks down her phone, to see her last received call was Johnny (PLOT TWIST & ALFIE’S CHARACTER MOTIVATION) . The story then jumps forward to the present where Alfie is still sitting holding the picture.