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Get Connected,
Stay Connected:
  Maintaining
 Relationships
    For Life
True story:
 I know a woman
  who befriended
   this young lady
   years ago while
      working at a
Chicago law firm...
...This is that
young woman
now. Sadly, they
lost touch.
Is there anyone you regret
     losing touch with?
“Your network
is your net worth”
Q: What kills relationships?

• lack of contact
• one-sidedness
• self-interest
• neglect
• unreliability
• others?
Q: What grows relationships?
              • contact
              • trust
              • listening
              • honesty
              • mutual benefit
              • others?
the 7 habits of highly
  connected people
they schedule time
     to chat/write


the 7 habits of highly
  connected people
they use the phone



the 7 habits of highly
  connected people
the 7 habits of highly    they
                           use
  connected people       social
                         media
the 7 habits of highly
  connected people
                   they understand
                    “Givers Gain”
the 7 habits of highly
  connected people

          they listen well
the 7 habits of highly
        connected people

  they are
consistent
they
 follow   the 7 habits of highly
through
            connected people
Your preferred
relationship style
rubies      sapphires
CONTROLLERS   PROMOTERS




 emeralds        pearls
ANALYZERS     SUPPORTERS
about preferences
Like handedness,
personality types
are just preferred
 styles - choosing
     one does NOT
  mean you don’t
  or can’t use the
    other styles!!
1. How much you say
How much you say
    “I’m fast-paced and               “I’m reserved and soft-
      people see me as           spoken. I tend to think a
  ‘extroverted’ I tend to         lot (either because I am
talk a lot (either to direct         listening to others or
  situations or because I        thinking things through),
am entertaining and fun).         and don’t always share
  I am passionate about           my feelings or thoughts
  what I say and do and         out loud. People generally
   have a lot of energy.           see me as low-key and
    I can be impatient”               quiet. I can be shy.” 

    (Dominant Style)                 (Passive Style)
                                                           1
How much you say
    “I’m fast-paced and               “I’m reserved and soft-
      people see me as           spoken. I tend to think a
  ‘extroverted’ I tend to         lot (either because I am
talk a lot (either to direct         listening to others or
  situations or because I        thinking things through),
am entertaining and fun).         and don’t always share
  I am passionate about           my feelings or thoughts
  what I say and do and         out loud. People generally
   have a lot of energy.           see me as low-key and
    I can be impatient”               quiet. I can be shy.” 

    “dominant style”                 “passive style”
                                                           1
How much you say
    “I’m fast-paced and               “I’m reserved and soft-
      people see me as           spoken. I tend to think a
  ‘extroverted’ I tend to         lot (either because I am
talk a lot (either to direct         listening to others or
  situations or because I        thinking things through),
am entertaining and fun).         and don’t always share
  I am passionate about           my feelings or thoughts
  what I say and do and         out loud. People generally
   have a lot of energy.           see me as low-key and
    I can be impatient”               quiet. I can be shy.” 

    “dominant style”                 “passive style”
                                                           1
Q: Which one are you?
2. What you say &
   How you say it
Controller                        vs.        Promoter

• Speaks strongly & confidently            • Outgoing & highly social
• Listens less & talks more               • “People people”
• Can seem aggressive or impatient        • Persuasive, instead of authoritative
• Makes strong statements like:           • Can seem less formal, more casual
- “Let's get this settled right now.”     • Makes statements like:
- “What's the bottom line?”               - “Just give me the gist of the plan”
- “Get to the point.”                     - “Let’s not worry about details yet”



                              “dominant style”
Analyzer                        vs.          Supporter
•Measured & careful                          •Sensitive & empathetic
•Detail-oriented & task-oriented             •Supportive & helpful
•Reliable                                    •Ask “feeling” questions
•Ask “logical” questions                     •Seem to be concerned & caring
•Seem to appear deep in thought               when listening
 when listening                              •Makes statements like:
•Make statements like:                       - “I'd like to go kind of slow on
- “Now let’s look at this logically”           this, is that OK?”

- “Let's take this step-by-step,             - “Can we do this together until I
  step 1 should be...”                         get the feel for it?”


                            “passive style”
(“formal” style)     (“informal” style)

(“dominant” style)




                        rubies             sapphires
                     CONTROLLERS          PROMOTERS
(“passive” style)




                      emeralds               pearls
                     ANALYZERS            SUPPORTERS
“Cheat Sheet”

        Controller                      Promoter

 •
 Task accomplisher         
 •
 High energy

 •
 Results-driven            
 •
 Enjoyable to be around

 •
 Self-motivated            
 •
 Creative imagination

 •
 Fast decision-maker       
 •
 Initiates relationships

 •
 Activity-initiator        
 •
 Motivating

 •
 Disciplined               
 •
 Competitive spirit

 •
 Likes to control          
 •
 “People Person”



         Analyzer                        Supporter

 •
 Objective                 
 •
 Dependable

 •
 Conscientious             
 •
 Patient

 •
 Defines, clarifies            •
 Dedicated and committed

 •
 Concerned with accuracy   
 •
 Loyal team member

 •
 Gathers needed data
      
 •
 Good listener
  •
 Tests data                
 •
 Good at reconciling factions

 •
 Maintains standards       
 •
 Cause-oriented
which one are you?
 Controller

 Promoter

 Analyzer

 Supporter
remember...


  It’s just a
preference!
rubies      sapphires
CONTROLLERS   PROMOTERS




 emeralds        pearls
ANALYZERS     SUPPORTERS
rubies      sapphires
CONTROLLERS   PROMOTERS




 emeralds        pearls
ANALYZERS     SUPPORTERS
Handouts/Takeaways
Q: What are some good
   ways to maintain
    relationships?
email
handwritten notes
getting together
in-person
sending
articles
calling
on the
phone
social
media
social
events
Poll: 	How do you prefer
       to stay in touch?
 a) phone                e) social media


 b) coffee or lunch      f) email


c) social get-together   g) send articles/
                         info of interest

d) handwritten notes
Which types might
prefer specific methods?
Analyzer
Promoter
Supporter
Promoter
Controller
 Analyzer
Supporter
Analyzer
Promoter
Supporter
Using
to stay connected
the line between
“business” & “personal”
      is blurring
those graduating today
from college do not know
life without computers...
there are ways to keep
things private while still
   using social media
if you’re still unsure
about using Facebook to
 connect for business...
make a plan
•   Who do you want to connect with?
•   What type are they?
•   What are their preferences?
•   How will you stay in touch?
•   What methods make sense?
want to connect?



                       Promoter




       www.twitter.com/mivi
www.facebook.com/villalobos.michelle
   www.MichelleVillalobos.com

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"Get Connected, Stay Connected: Building Valuable Business Relationships" – By Michelle Villalobos

  • 1. Get Connected, Stay Connected: Maintaining Relationships For Life
  • 2. True story: I know a woman who befriended this young lady years ago while working at a Chicago law firm...
  • 3. ...This is that young woman now. Sadly, they lost touch.
  • 4. Is there anyone you regret losing touch with?
  • 5. “Your network is your net worth”
  • 6. Q: What kills relationships? • lack of contact • one-sidedness • self-interest • neglect • unreliability • others?
  • 7. Q: What grows relationships? • contact • trust • listening • honesty • mutual benefit • others?
  • 8. the 7 habits of highly connected people
  • 9. they schedule time to chat/write the 7 habits of highly connected people
  • 10. they use the phone the 7 habits of highly connected people
  • 11. the 7 habits of highly they use connected people social media
  • 12. the 7 habits of highly connected people they understand “Givers Gain”
  • 13. the 7 habits of highly connected people they listen well
  • 14. the 7 habits of highly connected people they are consistent
  • 15. they follow the 7 habits of highly through connected people
  • 17. rubies sapphires CONTROLLERS PROMOTERS emeralds pearls ANALYZERS SUPPORTERS
  • 18. about preferences Like handedness, personality types are just preferred styles - choosing one does NOT mean you don’t or can’t use the other styles!!
  • 19. 1. How much you say
  • 20. How much you say “I’m fast-paced and        “I’m reserved and soft- people see me as spoken. I tend to think a ‘extroverted’ I tend to lot (either because I am talk a lot (either to direct listening to others or situations or because I thinking things through), am entertaining and fun). and don’t always share I am passionate about my feelings or thoughts what I say and do and out loud. People generally have a lot of energy. see me as low-key and I can be impatient” quiet. I can be shy.”  (Dominant Style) (Passive Style) 1
  • 21. How much you say “I’m fast-paced and        “I’m reserved and soft- people see me as spoken. I tend to think a ‘extroverted’ I tend to lot (either because I am talk a lot (either to direct listening to others or situations or because I thinking things through), am entertaining and fun). and don’t always share I am passionate about my feelings or thoughts what I say and do and out loud. People generally have a lot of energy. see me as low-key and I can be impatient” quiet. I can be shy.”  “dominant style” “passive style” 1
  • 22. How much you say “I’m fast-paced and        “I’m reserved and soft- people see me as spoken. I tend to think a ‘extroverted’ I tend to lot (either because I am talk a lot (either to direct listening to others or situations or because I thinking things through), am entertaining and fun). and don’t always share I am passionate about my feelings or thoughts what I say and do and out loud. People generally have a lot of energy. see me as low-key and I can be impatient” quiet. I can be shy.”  “dominant style” “passive style” 1
  • 23. Q: Which one are you?
  • 24. 2. What you say & How you say it
  • 25. Controller vs. Promoter • Speaks strongly & confidently • Outgoing & highly social • Listens less & talks more • “People people” • Can seem aggressive or impatient • Persuasive, instead of authoritative • Makes strong statements like: • Can seem less formal, more casual - “Let's get this settled right now.” • Makes statements like: - “What's the bottom line?” - “Just give me the gist of the plan” - “Get to the point.” - “Let’s not worry about details yet” “dominant style”
  • 26. Analyzer vs. Supporter •Measured & careful •Sensitive & empathetic •Detail-oriented & task-oriented •Supportive & helpful •Reliable •Ask “feeling” questions •Ask “logical” questions •Seem to be concerned & caring •Seem to appear deep in thought when listening when listening •Makes statements like: •Make statements like: - “I'd like to go kind of slow on - “Now let’s look at this logically” this, is that OK?” - “Let's take this step-by-step, - “Can we do this together until I step 1 should be...” get the feel for it?” “passive style”
  • 27. (“formal” style) (“informal” style) (“dominant” style) rubies sapphires CONTROLLERS PROMOTERS (“passive” style) emeralds pearls ANALYZERS SUPPORTERS
  • 28. “Cheat Sheet” Controller Promoter • Task accomplisher • High energy • Results-driven • Enjoyable to be around • Self-motivated • Creative imagination • Fast decision-maker • Initiates relationships • Activity-initiator • Motivating • Disciplined • Competitive spirit • Likes to control • “People Person” Analyzer Supporter • Objective • Dependable • Conscientious • Patient • Defines, clarifies • Dedicated and committed • Concerned with accuracy • Loyal team member • Gathers needed data • Good listener • Tests data • Good at reconciling factions • Maintains standards • Cause-oriented
  • 29. which one are you? Controller Promoter Analyzer Supporter
  • 30. remember... It’s just a preference!
  • 31. rubies sapphires CONTROLLERS PROMOTERS emeralds pearls ANALYZERS SUPPORTERS
  • 32. rubies sapphires CONTROLLERS PROMOTERS emeralds pearls ANALYZERS SUPPORTERS
  • 34. Q: What are some good ways to maintain relationships?
  • 35. email
  • 42. Poll: How do you prefer to stay in touch? a) phone e) social media b) coffee or lunch f) email c) social get-together g) send articles/ info of interest d) handwritten notes
  • 43. Which types might prefer specific methods?
  • 44.
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  • 58. the line between “business” & “personal” is blurring
  • 59. those graduating today from college do not know life without computers...
  • 60.
  • 61.
  • 62. there are ways to keep things private while still using social media
  • 63.
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  • 70. if you’re still unsure about using Facebook to connect for business...
  • 71.
  • 72. make a plan • Who do you want to connect with? • What type are they? • What are their preferences? • How will you stay in touch? • What methods make sense?
  • 73. want to connect? Promoter www.twitter.com/mivi www.facebook.com/villalobos.michelle www.MichelleVillalobos.com