microSKILLS in COLLABORATIVE COMMUNICATION (counselling /motivational interviewing )

Seminar-Workshop:
microSKILLS in
COLLABORATIVE COMMUNICATION
(counselling /motivational interviewing)
Designed by:
CORNELIO O. GARCIA, MA, RGC
Bulacan State University
Bustos Campus
Bustos, Bulacan
2

KEY POINTS
 COUNSELLING - a method that works on facilitating and engaging
intrinsic motivation within the client in order to change behavior.
 MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING - a process through which an
individual works with professionally trained counselor in establishing
specific objectives and changing or learning the behavior which he must
process so that he may attain these objectives.
3

Guidance and Counselling
(RA 9258: Guidance and Counselling Act of 2004)
8

Can everybody practice
guidance and counselling?
9

Career Guidance
and Counselling Advocacy
HOWEVER, career and employment guidance counsellors, who are not
registered and licenced guidance counsellors, shall be allowed to conduct
career advocacy activities to secondary level students of the school where
they are currently employed: Provided that they undergo a training program
to be developed or accredited by the DepEd.” W H Y ?
R A No.10533, Sec. 9:
Enhanced Basic Education Act of 2013
10

Career Guidance
“To properly guide the students in choosing the career tracks that they
intend to pursue, the DepEd, in coordination with the DOLE, the TESDA,
and the CHED, shall regularly conduct career advocacy activities for
secondary level students…”
RA 10533: Enhanced Basic Education Act of 2013
11

Senior high school
CORE SUBJECTS

Tech-Voc track
STRAND: HE Specializations

Tech-Voc track
STRAND: ICT Specializations

Tech-Voc track
STRAND: IA Specializations

Tech-Voc track
STRAND: Agri-Fishery Specializations

Arts and Design
TRACK: Specialized Subjects

Sports
TRACK: Specialized Subjects

23
Senior
High
School
TRACKS
academic
Tech-Voc L
Arts / Design
Sports
ABM
HUMSS
STEM
GA
HE
ICT
IA
AFA
Sp Subj
Sp Subj
Sp Subj
Sp Subj
Sp Subj
Sp Subj
TRACKS STRANDS SP SUBJ

Career Guidance
Potential client in grades 7-10 = 5.76M
Potential clients in grades 11-12 = 2M
Needed counsellors::
15,520 (at ideal ratio of 1:500)
7,760 (at ratio of 1:1000)
24

Career Guidance
AS OF OCTOBER 2014:
licenced counsellors: 2,720
1,686 thru grandfather clause (without examination)
1,034 thru licensure examination
25

The Three Major Areas
of Guidance and the Seven Dimensions of Man
26
MAN
INTELLECTUAL
(truth)
SPIRITUAL
(faith)
PHYSICAL
(health)
SOCIAL
(social
responsibilityl)
ECONOMIC
(economic
efficiency)
POLITICAL
(nationalism)
MORAL
(love)
In the
COMMUNITY
As SELF

National Standards
for School Counseling Program
by Rosemarie Salazar-Clemena, PhD
PERSONAL-SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT
Standard A: Students will acquire the
knowledge, attitudes and interpersonal
skills to help them understand and respect
self and others
Standard B: Students will make decisions, set
goals and take necessary action to achieve
goals
Standard C: Students will understand safety
and survival skills
27
CAREER DEVELOPMENT
Standard A: Students will acquire the skills to
investigate the world of work in relation to
knowledge of self and to make informed
career decisions.
Standard B: Students will employ strategies to
achieve future career goals with success
and satisfaction
Standard C: Students will understand the
relationship between qualities, education,
training and the world of work

National Standards
for School Counseling Program
by Rosemarie Salazar-Clemena, PhD
ACADEMIC DEVELOPMENT
Standard A: Students will acquire the
attitudes, knowledge and skills that
contribute to effective learning in school
and across the life span
Standard B: Students will complete school
with the academic preparation essential to
choose from a wide range of substantial
post-secondary/post-college options
relationship of academics to the world of
work and to life at home and in the
community
28
CAREER DEVELOPMENT
Standard A: Students will acquire the skills to
investigate the world of work in relation to
knowledge of self and to make informed
career decisions.
Standard B: Students will employ strategies to
achieve future career goals with success
and satisfaction
relationship between qualities, education,
training and the world of work

The Principles
of Guidance and Counselling
1. Counseling is oriented around cooperation, not compulsion.
2. Counseling is based on the recognition of the dignity and worth of the
individual and on his right to personal assistance in time of need.
3. Counseling is client-centered being concerned with the optimum
development of the whole person and the fullest realization of his potentials
for individual and social ends.
4. Counseling must respect the right of every person to accept or refuse
the service it offers.
29

INTERPRET…
7% verbal
38% vocal / paraverbal
55% visual / nonverbal
31
*Concerned with the relative importance of verbal and nonverbal
signals when COMMUNICATING feelings and attitudes.
Communication Research*
(Albert Mehrabian, 1967)

32
L – Look at the person speaking to you.
A - Ask questions.
D - Don’t interrupt.
D - Don't change the subject.
E - Empathize.
R - Respond verbally & non-verbally.

“If we were supposed to talk more than listen,
we would have been given
TWO MOUTHS
and
only one ear
to TALK MORE and hear less.”
- Mark Twain
34

We have been given
TWO EARS
and
only ONE MOUTH
to HEAR MORE and TALK LESS.
-35

ACTIVE LISTENING:
36
SQUARELY, face the individual.
OPEN your posture.
LEAN towards the other.
EYE contact should be maintained.
RELAX.
FRIENDLINESS should be maintained.
OPEN-ENDED question
AFFIRMATION
REFLECTION
SUMMARY
microSKILLS
to confirm with the client
that they are being heard correctly

38
Positive BL vs. Negative BL
SPEAKER
Talk to the listener.
LISTENER
Do the SOLERF.
first using the positive BL,
then it’s opposite.
SPEAKER
How did you feel when the
listener used negative BL?
LISTENER
How will you describe your
interest level when you used
positive BL?
When you used negative BL?
ATTENDING:
a COUNSELLING microSKILL

The communication MACROskills:
39

40
What do
you see?
OBSERVING
a COUNSELLING microSKILL:

41
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

42
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

43
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

44
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

45
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

46
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

47
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

48
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

49
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

50
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

51
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

OBSERVING
52
What do
you see?

53
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

54
What do
you see?
OBSERVING

OBSERVING
. . .
. . .
. . .
55
What do
you see?

OBSERVING
56
BEHAVIOR PURPOSE WHEN TO USE
Observing body
language, tone of
voice, and facial
expression.
To identify
discrepancies or
incongruities in the
client’s or his own
communication.
Throughout the entire
counselling interview.

WORLD
How do you define it?
How do you see it?
-from your own perspective?
-as it is?
-as you are?
58
OBSERVING

60
The answer…
If the person is on earth… If the person is in space…
If the person is under water…
…will FALL
…will FLOAT
…will NOT MOVE
…depends on where the person is.
Diiferent situations… …need different answers.
DROP the BLOCK puzzle:

WHAT (the activity; your feeling) ?
SO, WHAT (your insight)?
WHAT NOW (your plan)?
61

COUNSELLING microSKILLS:
63

64
Study of the effects of the
physical distance between
people in different cultures and
societies.
DISCOVER
Your Personal Distance
 PERSON A stands still;
PERSON B moves slowly
closer to person B.
 PERSON A has to say STOP
the moment PERSON A
feels uncomfortable while
PERSON B moves closer
to him.
NOTE THE DISTANCE.

65

66

67
DISTANCES
GOVERNING OUR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS
Close intimate distance (0-6 in.)
Intimate distance (6 in. – 1ft. 6 in)
Personal distance (1ft. 6 in.- 4ft.)
Social distance (4ft.-12ft.)
Public distance (12ft. +)

68

69
TEXT: What other matters would you like to
discuss?
SUBTEXT: very interested to know more about the
other person
SUBTEXT: not interested, thinking of going home
early

70
The non-verbal
elements of speech
used to modify
meaning and convey
emotion, such as
pitch, volume, and
intonation.
The use of manner of
speaking to
communicate
particular meanings.
THE ICEBERG METAPHOR
navigating towards subtext
TEXT
What is told
SUBTEXT
What is untold.
THE MEANING!

71
FOCUS
STAY WITH EACH
OTHER
WHO’S LEADING?
WHO’S
FOLLOWING?
When I say “Bahala kayo,” shift on your own. Pause before shifting.
When I say “Switch,” leader becomes follower and vice-versa.
Make movements very slow, abstract. Keep eye-to-eye contact.
One will be leader, the other the follower. One begins a movement,
the other follows. Get involved.
Get a partner. Stand face to face. Balance your attention evenly: half
with you, half with your partner.

72
FOCUS
STAY WITH EACH
OTHER
WHO’S LEADING?
WHO’S
FOLLOWING? Move slowly…keep it
flowing…react to the other…
Groups of 5-10…

73
Head position
Torso position
Arms and legs position
Breathing rate
Language (pace)
Indicates that you
experience the world as
close as possible to the
way the other person is
experiencing it.
But, be careful not to
copy the client’s actions
too exactly, as this will
look artificial.

74
INSIGHTS…?

OARS: Open-ended questions
5. What are the good things about
your drinking?
6. What are the “not-so-good
things” about drinking?
7. Could you tell me more about
your drinking?
8. What most concerns you about
your drinking?
close-ended questions
1. Are there good things about
dinking?
2. Are there bad things about
drinking?
3. Do you have concerns about your
drinking?
4. Do you worry a lot about your
drinking?
open-ended questions

Questions 1 and 2:
 have opening effects!
 Open the door for the person to
talk more.
 Question 1 is a close-ended
question.
What is your comment about these questions?
1. Is there a way of describing that
pain in another phrase?
2. Could you tell me a little more
about your complaint?
3. Are you unhappy?

RATIONALE
Communicates
respect for
clients.
Clients are more
likely to discuss
changing when
asked, than when
being lectured or
being told to
change.
ASKING PERMISSION
 Do you mind if we talk about your drinking?
 Could we talk a bit about your drinking?
 I noticed on your comprehensive record that…do you mind if we talk
about that?
What is your comment about these questions?

RATIONALE
Communicates
respect for
clients.
Clients are more
likely to discuss
changing when
asked, than when
being lectured or
being told to
change.
Eliciting / evoking change talk
1. What would you like to see different about your current situation?
2. What makes you think you need to change?
3. What will happen if you don’t change?
4. What would be the good things about changing your (insert risky
behavior/problem)…?
5. What would your life be like three years from now if you changed
your…?
6. What makes you think others are concerned about your…?
7. How can I help you get past some of the difficulties you are
experiencing?
8. If you were to decide to change, what would you have to do to make
this to happen?

RATIONALE
Communicates
respect for
clients.
Clients are more
likely to discuss
changing when
asked, than when
being lectured or
being told to
change.
Exploring importance and confidence ratings
1. What made you decide to select a score of …on the importance /
confidence scale rather than …?
2. What would need to happen for your importance / confidence score to
move up from a … to a …?
3. What would it take to move from a … to a …?
4. What do you think you might do to increase the importance /
confidence about changing your ( insert risky / problem behaviour)?

1. If you make changes, how would
your life be different from what it is
today?
2. How would you like things to turn
out for you in two years?
Provoking extremes
1. Suppose you don’t change, what
is the worst thing that might happen?
2. What is the best thing you could
imagine that could result from
changing?
Looking forward

4. My problem is my wife and her
constant complaints.
6. I am really tired of dealing with all
this crap. I just can’t do it anymore.
Something has to change.
Form good questions corresponding to each of the following statements.
1. So, instead of spanking, I went for
walks twice this week and thought
about what I wanted to do.
2. I don’t get what we are supposed
to be doing here now.
3. I love my kids but sometimes they
push me to the edge, and then I do
things I shouldn’t.

OARS: Affirmation
1. “Thanks for coming today.”
2. “I appreciate that you are willing to talk
to me about your drinking.”
3. “You are obviously a resourceful
person to have coped with those
difficulties.”
4. “You have courage to face these
difficult problems.”
5. “This is hard work you’re doing.”
6. “You really care a lot about your
family.”
Recognizing client’s strengths, successes, efforts
Selective,
non-judgmental reflections
of clients’ strengths, resources,
personal achievements

OARS: Affirmation
4. “With all the obstacles you have
right now, it’s very much impressive
that you’ve been able to refrain
from going out at night to drink with
your friends.”
5. “In spite of what happened last
week, your coming back today
reflects that you’re concerned
about finding solutions to your
problem.”
Recognizing client’s strengths, successes, efforts
1. “You showed a lot of interest to talk
with your teacher.”
2. “It’s clear that you’re really trying to
avoid drinking.”
3. “By the way you handled that
situation, you showed a lot of
courage.”

OARS: Affirmation
“I really enjoy using ecstasy at parties and I don’t think I use any more than my
friends do. On the other hand, I have spent a lot more money than I can afford
on drugs, and that really concerns me. I am finding it difficult to pay my bills
and my credit cards have been cancelled. My partner is angry and I really
hate upsetting him. In addition, I have noticed that I am having trouble
sleeping and I am finding it difficult to remember things. Despite those things, I
am not feeling ready to change yet and I really resent people who are trying to
make me change.”
STRENGTH:
AFFIRMATION:
Find a strength and make an affirmation for the following statement.

OARS: Reflective listening
CLIENT: I'm so depressed that I'm thinking
about killing myself.
COUNSELLOR: You're thinking about killing
yourself.
CLIENT: I'd like to kill myself right now.
COUNSELLOR: You'd like to kill yourself
right now.
CLIENT: I'm very depressed today.
COUNSELLOR: You're very depressed,
Joy.
CLIENT: Yes. I haven't been this depressed
in a long time.
COUNSELLOR: You haven't been this
depressed in a long time.

CLIENT: I'm gonna do it. See? I'm opening
the window.... and I'm gonna jump.
COUNSELLOR: You're going to jump out the
window.
CLIENT: Yes…! Here I go........
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" (splat)
COUNSELLOR: Oh…! There you go…!
Aaaaaaaaaaaah, BLAG!"
CLIENT: Yes, I'm so desperate that I think I'll
open this window and jump out.
COUNSELLOR: You're thinking of jumping
out that window.

- to allow the speaker to hear his own
thoughts and to focus on what he
says and feels
- to show the speaker that you are
trying to perceive the world as they
see it and that you are doing your
best to understand his messages
- to encourage him to continue
talking
the process of paraphrasing
both the feelings and words
of the speaker:
Reflecting Purposes

CLIENT: I seem to be using more than I used
to, and I don’t seem to be getting as much
out of a deal as I should be. I still get what I
need I suppose.
COUNSELLOR: It sounds like you’re
experiencing changes in tolerance levels but
the drug is still useful to you?
CLIENT: I don’t know why people worry
about my kids. I’ve always been able to look
after them, even when I’m stoned.
COUNSELLOR: There’s no need for anyone
to worry about your kids, you are always able
to look after them?
C’LEE: Oh, I don’t know. I mean I read
fast enough but I can’t understand
fully what I read.
C’LOR: You read fast enough but you
can’t comprehend fully?
CLIENT: I have just broken up with Jason.
The way he was treating me was just too
much to bear. Every time I tried to touch on
the subject with him he would just clam up. I
feel so much better now.
COUNSELOR: You feel much better after
breaking up with Jason.
Mirroring Paraphrasing

CLIENT: I just don’t understand my boss.
One minute he says one thing and the next
minute he says the opposite.
COUNSELLOR: You feel very confused by
him?
- Linking the content and feeling allows the
listener to reflect the speaker’s
experiences and emotional response to
those experiences.
CLIENT: I thought my mother would
understand the problems I’m having.
COUNSELLOR: You sound disappointed with
your mother‘s reaction to your problems.
CLIENT: My wife continues to buy beer for
her to drink, even though I have given it up,
so this means it’s always in the house.
COUNSELLOR: It sounds like you’re
annoyed that she’s leaving you open to
temptation.
Reflecting feeling Reflecting meaning

intensity emotion
Intensity Emotion
You feel a little bit sad / angry?
You feel quite helpless / depressed?
You feel very stressed?
You feel extremely embarrassed?

QUESTIONS to ask to encourage a
client to look at things from a different
perspective:
1. If you were the other person, what
would you notice about your behaviour
/ approach/ manner?
2. If you were an observer watching
the event / discussion, what would you
notice?
3. What would your mentor /
manager / best friend / coach do in
this situation?
A WAY OF CHANGING
the way you look at something
TO REFRAME
means to change
the conceptual and/or emotional setting
or viewpoint in relation to which a situation
is experienced
and to place it in another frame which fits the
”facts” of the same concrete situation equally
well or even better, and thereby changes its
entire meaning. (Watzlawick et al., 1974, p.
95)
Reframing

QUESTIONS to ask to consider the
positive aspects of the client’s own
behavior:
1. According to whom?
2. What might be useful about this
experience?
3. How else could you describe your
behavior in this situation?
4. What can you learn from this
experience?
5. How would you advise someone
who had just given the presentation
you did?
 What did you do well?
MEANING GIVEN TO A SITUATION
SITUATION: Ï made a real mess of
that presentation.
MEANING: I am useless at
presenting.
Content Reframing
negative
frame
positive
frame

QUESTIONS to ask to get the client
focus on times when and where
attention to detail is important.:
1. What might being detailed be
helpful to you?
2. Where could you use this skill
in the future?
SITUATION: I spent so much time on
the detail that I just didn’t get finish it
on time.
MEANING: I’m just too detail
conscious!
Context Reframing
negative
frame
positive
frame

CLIENT: I use the pills because I can’t seem to relax around my son. The minute
I turn my back he’s up to something.
COUNSELOR: I get the impression that you are really important to your son and
that he wants lots of attention from you. What do you think?
ANALYZE

OARS: Summary
COUNSELOR: You want to stop talking about your grades. I wonder if you told
me that your teacher and your parents are not happy about your low grades in
Math. You also told me that you get good grades in Art, but nobody thinks Art is
important. Let’s see, what else did we talk about today?

OARS: Summary
Summarising adds to the power of reflective listening, especially in relation to
concerns and change talk.
First, clients hear themselves say it, then they hear the clinician reflect it, and
then they hear it again in the summary.
The listener chooses what to include in the summary and can use it to change
direction by emphasising some things and not others.
It is important to keep the summary succinct and to reflect both sides of the
ambivalence whenever possible.

OARS: Summary
WHY SUMMARIZE
 to provide concise, accurate, and timely overviews of the client’s statements
and help organize their thoughts
 to help the client review what they have said in the interview
 to stimulate a thorough exploration of themes which are important to the client
 to provide organization for an interview
 to let the client know that they have been heard.

OARS: Summary
WHEN TO SUMMARIZE
 when a client’s comments are lengthy or confused
 when a client presents a number of unrelated ideas
 to add direction and coherence to the interview
 when the counsellor doesn’t know what to say next
 to conclude an interview
 when the client has finished describing a particular event or situation and
before they go on to the next issue
 to clarify what the client has just told you
 to review what was discussed last session.

Reflection
TAKE SOME TIME TO THINK
about the most difficult change
that you had to make in your life.
How much time did it take you
to move from considering that change
to actually taking action?

Why don’t people change?
101

The Stages of Change
Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/bv.fcgi?rid=hstat5.section.62561
No intention of changing
behavior
Intends to change in the
next 6 months, but may
procrastinate
Has changed
behavior for less
than 6 months
Has changed behavior
for more than 6 months
Intends to take action
soon, for example next
month.
precontemplation
contemplation
preparationaction
maintenance

103
Blueprint of change:
IDENTIFYING CURRENT SCENARIO
Where are you now?
IDENTIFYING PREFERRED
SCENARIO
Where do you want to go?
DEVELOPING ACTION STRATEGIES
How do you want to go there?
HELP
the client
MOVE
in a
SPECIFIC
DIRECTION.
POINT
of
counselling /
motivational
interviewing

104
STAGE 1
Current scenario
STAGE 2
Preferred scenario
STAGE 3
Action strategies
“formulating a plan for
achieving the client’s goals
Identifying possibilities for
the future
Setting agenda for change
Making a commitment to the
process
Identifying possible courses
of action
Determining which action
provides the “best fit”
Helping the client tell his
story
Identifying “blind spots” in
the client’s perspective
Leverage:
Determining which issues
should be addressed
ACTIONS
leading to the desired outcomes

106
STAGE 1
Current scenario
STAGE 2
Preferred scenario
STAGE 3
Action strategies
STAGE 1
Current scenario
ME, NOW
STAGE 3
Action strategies
ACTION PLAN TO
BRIDGE THE GAP
BETWEEN STAGE 1
AND STAGE 3
STAGE 2
Preferred scenario
ME, 20 YEARS FROM
NOW

Providing Support
According to the Stages of Change
Stage 1 Question
Pre-contemplation
• to help client
begin to think
about negative
consequences of
their behavior and
consider change
as a possibility
• "What would have to happen for you to
know that this is a problem?“
• "What would you consider as warning signs
that would let you know that this is a
problem?"
• “What things have you tried in the past to
change?”

ASSESSING THE CLIENT'S WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE
How important is it for you to change?
How confident are you that you could change if you decided to?
What would it take for you to move from an x (lower number) to a y
(higher number?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
not ready unsure ready
Providing Support
READY TO CHANGE RULER

109
Clients with lower readiness to change
(e.g., answers decreased from a “5” 6 months ago to a “2” now)
C’LOR: So, it sounds like you went from being ambivalent about changing
your [insert risky/problem behavior] to no longer thinking you need to
change your [insert risky/problem behavior]. How did you go from a ‘5’ to a
‘2’?”
C’LOR: What one thing do you think would have to happen to get you to
back to where you were 6 months ago?”
Providing Support

110
C’LOR: On the following scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is definitely not ready to change and
10 is definitely ready to change, what number best reflects how ready you are at the
present time to change your [insert risky/problem behavior]?
Client (C): “Seven.”
C’LOR: And where were you 6 months ago?”
CLIENT: Two.
C’LOR: So it sounds like you went from not being ready to change your [insert
risky/problem behavior] to thinking about changing. How did you go from a ‘2’ 6 months ago
to a ‘7’ now?” “How do you feel about making those changes?” “What would it take to
move a bit higher on the scale?”
Providing Support

Providing Support
Stage 2 Question
Contemplation
• ambivalence and
feelings of being
‘stuck’.
• "What are the pros and cons for not changing?
• What are the pros and cons (costs/benefits) for changing?
• Why do you want to change at this time?"
• "What would keep you from changing at this time?"
• "What are the barriers today that prevent you from
changing?"
• "What things (people, programs and behaviors) have helped
in the past?"
• "What would help you at this time?"

Providing Support
Stage 3 Question
Preparation
 initial plan
• What barriers do you see ahead?
• How can you minimize or eliminate them?
• Who can you turn to for support?
• What kind of support do you feel you need the
most?
• Where can you get this support?

Providing Support
Stage 4 Question
Action
• Client has changed
behavior for less
than 6 months.
•What actions have you taken?
•What has helped/not helped?
•What might you do to replace things that have not
helped?

Providing Support
Stage 5 Question
Maintenance
-preventing relapse
1. Conducting functional analysis
“Could you tell me about situations in which you have been
most likely to drink or use drugs in the past, or times when you
have tended to drink or use more?
“What did you like about drinking?”
2. Developing a coping plan
“How will you avoid being exposed to the trigger?”
3. Plan for follow-up support
“How shall we meet again?”
Triggers Effects

a method
that works on facilitating
and engaging intrinsic motivation within the client
in order to change behavior.
a goal-oriented, client-centered counseling style for eliciting
behavior change by helping clients to explore and resolve
ambivalence.
Meaning
of Motivational Interviewing

Principles
of Motivational Interviewing
R - Roll with resistance
E - Express empathy
D - Develop discrepancy
S - Support self-efficacy
(Miller and Rollnick: 2002
R – Resist the righting reflex.
U – Understand your client’s motivation.
L – Listen to your client.
E – Empower your client.
(Rollnick et al: 2008

MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING
Principle 1: Resist the righting reflex. (Roll with
resistance.)
I do not want to stop
drinking…as I said, I do
not have a drinking
problem…I want to drink
when I feel like it.
That’s right, my
mother thinks that I
have a problem, but
she’s wrong.
Others may think
you have a
problem, but you
don’t.
You do
have a
drinking
problem

I do not want to stop
drinking…as I said, I do
not have a drinking
problem…I want to drink
when I feel like it. But, Andy, I think it
is clear that
drinking has
caused you
problems!You do not have
the right to judge
me. You don’t
understand me.
Principle 1: Resist the righting reflex. (Roll with resistance.)

I am so tired
that I cannot
even sleep…
So I drink some
wine.
…When I wake up…I
am too late for work
already…
Yesterday my boss
fired me.
...but I do not
have a drinking
problem!
You drink wine to
help you sleep.
So you are
concerned about not
having a job.
Principle 2: Understand the client’s motivation. (Express empathy.)

LEVEL COMMUNICATION
1
Not empathic
Perhaps, you would not have failed had you paid attention to your parent’s warning. (attacks
the client)
2
Not empathic
That’s truly sad. Maybe you should apologize. (tries to be helpful, but fails to respond to
true feeling)
3
Minimum
empathy
You feel depressed because you failed your subjects. (restates what the client says)
4
Accurate
empathy
You feel angry with your self because you have given your parents a chance to say “I told you
so”. (goes beyond accurate paraphrase or reflection of feeling by adding interpretation that
facilitates growth)
5
Additive
empathy
You feel angry with yourself because in addition to having failed , you have given your parents
a chance to prove that you are wrong and they are right. What do you think you can do about
this? (influences the client to go beyond)
Principle 2: Understand the client’s motivation. (Express empathy.)

I only enjoy having
some drinks with my
friends…that’s all.
Drinking helps me
relax and have fun…I
think that I deserve
that for a change…
So drinking has some
good things for
you…Now, could you tell
me about the not-so-good
things you have
experienced because of
drinking?
Well…as I said, I lost
my job because of my
drinking problem…and I
often feel sick.
Principle 3: Listen to your client. (Develop discrepancy.)

“You say you would like to do
further study but you have not
contacted the training institution
yet.”
“So, help me understand, on the
one hand you say you want to get
high grades, and yet you are
always absent from your classes.” 124
Columbo Approach
A curious inquiry about discrepant
behaviors without being judgmental.
An invitation to the client to look
more closely at behavior that is not
working or interfering with growth,
change, or healthy functioning.
Takes its name
from the
behaviour
demonstrated
by Peter Falk
who starred in
the 1970s TV
series
Columbo.

125
Columbo Approach
Takes its name
from the
behaviour
demonstrated
by Peter Falk
who stasrred in
the 1970s TV
series
Columbo.
confrontation statement:
“On the one hand …, but on the
other hand….”
“You say … but you do …,” or
“Your words say … but your
actions say ….”
Phrases and questions for
confrontations:
I get the impression that…Is
that what you mean?
It seems to me that…Am I
getting your idea?

I am wondering if
you can help me. I
have failed many
times.
Andy, I don’t think you have
failed because you are still
here, hoping things can be
better. As long as you are
willing to stay in the process,
I will support you. You have
been successful before and
you will be again.I hope things will be
better this time. I’m
willing to give it a try.
Principle 4: Empower your client. (Support self efficacy.)

127
 “It seems you’ve been working hard to
quit smoking. That is different than
before. How have you been able to do
that?”
 “Last week you were not sure you could
go one day without using drugs, how
were you able to avoid using the entire
past week?”
 “So even though you have not been
abstinent every day this past week, you
have managed to cut your drinking down
significantly. How were you able to do
that?”

128
 Based on your self-monitoring logs, you have not been smoking daily.
In fact, you smoked only one stick of cigarette last week.
 How were you able to do that?
 How do you feel about the change?
 How do you feel the changes you made?
 “How were you able to go from a ‘2’ 6 months ago to a ‘7’ now?”
[Client answers] “How do you feel about those changes?”

130
“I don't know whether this will help
or not, but I would just like to say
that - I think I can understand
pretty well - what it's like to feel
that you're just no damn good to
anybody, because there was a
time when - I felt that way about
myself and I know it can be really
rough.”
“This is a most unusual kind of
response for me to make. I simply
felt that I wanted to share my
experience with him to let him
know he was not alone.” (Rogers,
1967.)

131
"I notice that you haven’t looked
at me all session, which is leaving
me feeling rather shut out. It feels
as if you want to stop me getting
too close … Is that how it feels to
you?"
INVOLVES
 revealing how you are
feeling/thinking/sensing;
 sharing a hunch or sense of
what the client may be feeling /
thinking / sensing here and
now;
 inviting the client to explore
what is going on between you.

"I notice that you are responding very defensively to what I am saying even
though I feel very accepting of what you are telling me. I wonder whether
this is because …… (link to client issue). “
"I am aware that you have said that you never get angry, yet I am sensing
that you are very angry with me even though your voice is quiet."
132

boundary issues
133
Use immediacy to deal with difficulties:
Lack of trust
Issue of difference
"I am finding it difficult to concentrate on what
you are saying because I have just realised
that I know the person you are talking about
… I am wondering whether you have noticed
my reaction and this is somehow affecting
your ability to talk freely."

boundary issues
134
Lack of trust
Issue of difference
"You told me when you first arrived that you
have never trusted anyone in your life. I
wonder whether this is affecting how you feel
towards me because I am sensing that you
are not finding it easy to trust me. Is that how
it feels to you?"

boundary issues
135
Lack of trust
Issue of difference
"I am aware that you are a woman and I am a
man; I wonder how easy you are finding it to
tell me about your experience of having been
in bed with your boyfriend. Shall we continue
talking about this?

136
C’LEE: I will do my homework early and ask my
cousin to help me.
C’LOR: (nodding with a smile) Good! I’m confident
that you can exert more effort, especially, with the
help of your cousin.
encouraging

137
a head nod
a raised eyebrow
a smile
mmmm
okay
Aha
right
really
yes
encouraging
appropriate silences
I see
oh?
sure
tell me more
please continue

138
Three essential attributes
of an effective counsellor (Carl Rogers):
Unconditional positive
regard
Congruence
Empathy

139
regard
Congruence
Empathy
accepting the client without
judgement of the client’s feelings,
thoughts or behaviours as being
good or bad
and
without the counsellor’s stipulating
conditions for this acceptance.
Client?
exploring his issues without fear of
criticism or rejection.

140
regard
Congruence
Empathy
Agreement between verbal
and nonverbal communication
A
B
B
distorted aborted
Facilitates honest
communication with the client

141
regard
Congruence
Empathy
According to Rogers (1961)…
…ability to enter the client’s
phenomenological world, to
experience the client’s world as
if it were your own.
Involves two specific skills:
Perception / understanding of
what is taking place emotionally.
The ability to communicate your
understanding of that to your
client.

142
regard
Congruence
Empathy
H O W ?

143
regard
Congruence
Empathy
TRY!
C’LEE: Wala akong naipasang
subject. Nagalit parents ko. Sabi
ng mother ko noon pa nila ako
pinatitigil sa banda. Matigas daw
ulo ko kaya raw ako bumagsak…!
C’LOR:
__________________________

144
regard
Congruence
Empathy
COMMUNICATION 1
not empathic
“Perhaps, you would not have failed had you
paid attention to your parent’s warning.”
(attacks the client)

145
regard
Congruence
Empathy
COMMUNICATION 2
not empathic
“That’s truly sad. Maybe you should
apologize.”
(tries to be helpful, but fails to respond to true
feeling)

146
regard
Congruence
Empathy
COMMUNICATION 3
minimum empathy
“You feel depressed because you failed your
subjects.”
(restates what the client says)

147
regard
Congruence
Empathy
COMMUNICATION 4
accurate empathy
“You feel angry with your self because you
have given your parents a chance to say ‘I told
you so’.”
(goes beyond accurate paraphrase or
reflection of feeling by adding interpretation
that facilitates growth)

148
regard
Congruence
Empathy
COMMUNICATION 5
additive empathy
“You feel angry with your self because in
addition to having failed, you have given your
parents a chance to prove that you are wrong
and they are right. What do you think you can
do about this?
(influences the client to go beyond )

149
OBSERVE!
LEVEL COMMUNICATION
1
Not
empathic
Perhaps, you would not have failed had you paid attention to your
parent’s warning. (attacks the client)
2
Not
empathic
That’s truly sad. Maybe you should apologize. (tries to be
helpful, but fails to respond to true feeling)
3
Minimum
empathy
You feel depressed because you failed your subjects. (restates
what the client says)
4
Accurate
empathy
You feel angry with your self because you have given your parents
a chance to say “I told you so”. (goes beyond accurate paraphrase
or reflection of feeling by adding interpretation that facilitates
growth)
5
Additive
empathy
You feel angry with yourself because in addition to having failed ,
you have given your parents a chance to prove that you are wrong
and they are right. What do you think you can do about this?
(influences the client to go beyond)

GENERAL
Applicable to all approaches
AFFECTIVE
Focusing on feelings
BEHAVIORAL
Focusing on actions and behaviors
COGNITIVE
Focusing on thoughts and cognitions
150

GENERAL
APPROACH
151

ESTABLISHING RAPPORT
C’LOR: It’s nice you are able to come in spite of the rain.
Did you have a hard time commuting?
O, midterm next week, di ba?
152
General Approach

LOCATING A PROBLEM AREA
C’LOR 1: What else would you like to discuss?
C’LOR 2: So, what are you feeling?
C’LOR 3: Are you saying you worry about what your friends might say?
153
General Approach

DEFINING THE PROBLEM
C’LOR: You don’t feel good about that?
C’LEE: Yes. That’s right.
C’LOR: So, it seems that your problem is that whom to choose between
the two?
154
General Approach

ORIENTING THE COUNSELLE TO COUNSELING
C’LOR: I’m here to help you. I’m willing to
listen and try to look into your concern.
155
General Approach

LEADING THE COUNSELEE TO CLOSURE
C’LOR: So, how about now? What do you feel right now?
: Well, I guess you have already solved your problem. What do
you think?
156
General Approach

FACILITATING VERBALIZATION
C’LEE: …so, until now, I haven’t talked to him yet, so I don’t
know…(silence)
C’LOR: …You don’t know… what…?
C’LEE: …yeah, if he’s okay…
157
General Approach

BEHAVIORAL
APPROACH
158
Behavioral approach

SETTING GOAL
C’LOR: So, what do you want to achieve now?
C’LEE: To get high grades…!
159
Behavioral approach

ANALYZING BEHAVIOR
C’LOR: What have you been doing these past few days to get good
grades?
160
Behavioral approach

PLANNING STEPS
C’LOR: What will you do to get high grades?
C’LEE: I prayed…and still praying…
C’LOR: What else?
161
Behavioral approach

CLARIFYING AND AFFIRMING PLAN OF ACTION
C’LOR: So, now you’ll stop going out at night. You are going to start talking
to your teacher that you are going to be placed in another seat. You
will behave and concentrate to get satisfying grades.
162
Behavioral approach

MAKING A DECISION
C’LEE: Do you think I should tell him the truth?
C’LOR: What do you think?
C’LOR: If given the chance to choose, which one will you take?
163
Behavioral approach

ANALYZING CONSEQUENCES
C’LOR: How has that fear of telling the truth
somehow affected your relationship?
C’LOR: So, what is happening to your
expression of your feelings for him?
C’LOR: What changes do you see now?
164
Behavioral approach
ANALYZING CONSEQUENCES
C’LOR: What changes do you see now?
C’LOR: If you don’t study, what might
happen?
C’LEE: I might get failing grades.
C’LOR: What’s the worst thing that could
happen if you get a failing grade?

OBTAINING COMMITMENT TO ACTION PLAN
C’LOR: Are you willing to give up tv?
C’LEE: Yes!
C’LOR: Talagang willing?
C’LEE: Yes!
165
Behavioral approach

COGNITIVE
APPROACH
166
Cognitive Approach

IDENTIFYING REASONS FOR IDEAS / FEELINGS
C’LOR: What makes you think that she might just
stop being sweet or thoughtful or nice?
C’LOR: What makes you feel angry?
167
Cognitive Approach

UNDERSTANDING MOTIVES
C’LOR: You did that just to spite her?
C’LOR: May I know your reason for not
participating in your group activity?
168
Cognitive Approach

LEADING TO INSIGHT
C’LOR: How is this watching tv and playing affecting
your studies?
C’LEE: I can’t study.
169
Cognitive Approach

CLARIFYING VALUES
C’LOR: So you find the importance of studying?
C’LEE: Yeah.
C’LOR: What does studying do to you?
C’LEE: It helps me in the future.
170
Cognitive Approach

CONFRONTATION
C’LOR: You said you are aiming for your inclusion on the Dean’s list. But,
you have not given up your habit of going out at night.…? (silence…)
171
Cognitive Approach

CONFRONTATION (reframing)
C’LEE: I feel my parents don’t care about me anymore. They always scold me and keep
on reminding me to study harder.
C’LOR: You feel your parents don’t care about you anymore because they always scold
you and remind you of your studies?
C’LEE: Yes…!
C’LOR: If you were your parents, what will you tell your son who is doing what you are
doing while studying?
172
Cognitive Approach

AFFECTIVE
APPROACH
173
Affective Approach

FOCUSING ON FEELING
C’LOR: So, are you contented with what you are getting?
C’LOR : How do you feel now?
174
Affective Approach

EMPATHIZING WITH THE COUNSELEE
C’LEE: It bothers me if I’m feeling low and he’s just
feeling okay…I want that he should feel what I feel.
C’LOR: So, you mean to say you are sad…?
175
Affective Approach

C’LEE: It bothers me if I’m feeling low and he’s just
feeling okay…I want that he should feel what I feel.
C’LOR: So, you mean to say you are sad…?
Does the response highlight the feeling of the counselee?
Does it highlight only the thought or the cognition?
176
Affective Approach

Does the response highlight the feeling of the counselee?
Does it highlight only the thought or the cognition?
Are these emphatic communication?
“I see…”
“I understand…”
“I can feel how you feel…”
Does nodding the head or looking into the eyes of the client’s eyes show empathy?
177
Affective Approach

Requires congruency
between the counselor’s behavior and his language.
-paralanguage –
tone
modulation
pause
-nonverbal signals-
eye contact
facial expression
Posture
178
Affective Approach

179
Affective ApproachLEVEL COMMUNICATION
1
Not empathic
Perhaps, you would not have failed had you paid attention to your parent’s warning.
(attacks the client)
2
Not empathic
That’s truly sad. Maybe you should apologize. (tries to be helpful, but fails to respond
to true feeling)
3
Minimum
empathy
You feel depressed because you failed your subjects. (restates what the client says)
4
Accurate
empathy
You feel angry with your self because you have given your parents a chance to say “I told
you so”. (goes beyond accurate paraphrase or reflection of feeling by adding
interpretation that facilitates growth)
5
Additive
empathy
You feel angry with yourself because in addition to having failed , you have given your
parents a chance to prove that you are wrong and they are right. What do you think you
can do about this? (influences the client to go beyond)

Thomas Gordon’s 12 Roadblocks
Adapted from Gordon (1970). Copyright 1970 by Thomas Gordon. Adapted by permission of McKay, a division of
Random House, Inc. Thomas Gordon’s 12 Roadblocks
1. Ordering, directing, or commanding
2. Warning or threatening
3. Giving advice, making suggestions,
providing solutions
4. Persuading with logic, arguing, lecturing
5. Moralizing, preaching, telling clients their
duty
6. Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming
7. Agreeing, approving, praising
8. Shaming, ridiculing, name calling
9. Interpreting, analyzing
10. Reassuring, sympathizing, consoling
11. Questioning, probing
12. Withdrawing, distracting, humoring,
changing the subject
180

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
REASSURING, SYMPATHIZING, CONSOLING, SUPPORTING
Trying to make the person feel better out of their feelings
or trying to make the feelings go away
denies the strength and relevance of a person’s feelings.
“Don’t worry…”
“Oh, cheer up…”
“It’s not that bad…”
“You’ll be ok…”
causes a person to feel misunderstood and can evoke a strong feeling of hostility,
and the person can be hearing you say it’s not alright for him to feel bad
in the face of what he is feeling. 181

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
182
C’LEE: I am confused. My
parents are separated. With
whom shall I stay?
TEACHING THE CLIENT A
VIEWPOINT
C’LOR: I’d like to follow up about
what you mentioned. What really
matters is what you think of
yourself because it has
something to do with your right
over how you should live your
life.

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
183
CLIENT: My wife is always
nagging me about my drinking.
That’s all she ever talks to me
about these days.
REFRAMING
COUNSELLOR: It sounds like
your wife really cares about you,
and she is concerned about your
health. I guess she expresses it
in a way which angers or
frustrates you. Perhaps you can
encourage her to tell you that she
is worried about you in a different
way.

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
184
FOCUSING ON COUNSELEE
C’LOR: So far what you are saying mostly is about him –
what he wants. How about you?

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
185
GATHERING INFORMATION
C’LEE: I am always alone. My parents don’t love me anymore.
C’LOR: Why did you say they don’t love you anymore?

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
186
SUGGESTING
C’LEE: I wish I could unite my parents again. How can I unite my parents?
C’LOR: Try talking with them!

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
187
REASONING FOR THE COUNSELEE
C’LEE: If I could not make my parents stay together, it would be the end of
the world.
C’LOR: You’re still young; you still have lots of time to spend.

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
188
GIVING FEEDBACK
C’LEE: My dad is not yet ready to stay with my mom. Perhaps
I have to wait for the right time to discuss this with him.
C’LOR: Yeah, I’m very glad about your realization and your
feeling more comfortable as far as your relationship with
your dad is concerned.

DIRECTIVE APPROACH
189
DIRECTING THE COUNSELEE
TO A TOPIC
C’LEE: Since I met difficulties in settling my accounts in school, my
parents don’t want to talk to me.
C’LOR: Let’s go to your problem in school. That is a big problem for you.

CAN YOU HELP
someone
if his problem is beyond your
competency?
YES!
HOW?
REFER
him to another person or agency
for a more specialized assistance.
191

REFERENCES
E-Book
ROSENGREN, David B., Building Motivational Interviewing Skills (New York: The Guilford
Press: 2009)
WEB SITE
http://www.restorativesolutions.us/schools.html
http://www.askmikethecounselor2.com/counselingskills.html
http://www.counseling-skills.com
http://www.basic-counsweling-skills.com
192

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