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Family System
In Islam
By
Dr.ZeenatKauther
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#s
IslamonSexuality,Reproduction
and
Family System
PaperPresentedto the
InternationalConferenceof NGOs
Seoul,Korea
10-16October1999
By
Dr. ZeenathKausar
WorldAssemblyofMrnlim youth"
(wAtvfY)
Riyadh,SaudiArabia
-Islam on Sexuality) Reproduction
and
Family System
Paper Presented to the
International Conference ofNGOs
Seoul) Korea
10-16 October 1999
By
Dr. Zeenath Kausar
World Assembly ofMuslim Youth,
(WAMY)
Riyadh) Saudi Arabia
-Islam on Sexuality) Reproduction
and
Family System
Paper Presented to the
International Conference ofNGOs
Seoul) Korea
10-16 October 1999
By
Dr. Zeenath Kausar
World Assembly ofMuslim Youth,
(WAMY)
Riyadh) Saudi Arabia
PREFACE
As the tide of the papersugests, Dr. ZeenathKausarhas
attemgted to present the Islamicperspectiveon se<uality,
reproductionand family system.
Family values play an imporant rore from the Islamic
point of view. Islam seeks to create durable bases for
relationship within the familr, which is the building block
gf
"
society. when each of theseblocksis nrmlyilaced,
the social struch*e of the society rests on a strong
foundation. wfhere the cohesive bond gets diluted, th;
societybeginsto nrmble
The westem society presentsa glaringexampleofthis
phenomenon. The grovdng tt.t*b.r or rittgt.-parent
families in the wake of
""*p*t
divorceshas"createda
sihration in which uninhibited ro hasculminatedin the
outbreakof ArDs and other sexuallytransmitteddiseases.
An rmporant factor for the breakdown of marriagesin
the west is the fact that marial relations in sTestem
societies aregovemedby materialconsiderations,suchas
wealth'
_beauty or fame. These are ephemeralvalues
doomed to self-erosionin the courseof time.when that
happens, the fragile relationship gets swerved andthe
marriageendsin divorce
By contrasg marital ues in the Muslim society areon
firmer ground. Families seeking afriancesalso look for
partners qdth a strong moral character, among other
thirp. Thus if the marriedlife of a couplebecomis a bit
bumpy, they still pull on for the sakeoittt.ir childrento
whom
- th.y owe z religious obtigation to bring up
properly.
PREFACE
As the title of the paper suggests, Dr. Zeenath Kausar has
attempted to present the Islamic perspective on sexuality,
reproduction and family system.
Family values play an important role from the Islamic
point of view. Islam seeks to create durable bases for
relationship within the family, which is the building block
of a society. When each ofthese blocks is firmly placed,
the social structure of the society rests on a strong
foundation. Where the cohesive bond gets diluted, the
society begins to tumble.
The Western society presents a glaring example of this
phenomenon. The growing number of single-parent
families in the wake of rampant divorces has created a
situation in which uninhibited sex has culminated in the
outbreak of AIDs and other sexually transmitted diseases.
An important factor for the breakdown ofmarriages in
the West is the fact that marital relations in Western
societies are governed by material considerations, such as
wealth, beauty or fame. These are ephemeral values
doomed to self-erosion in the course of time. When that
happens, the fragile relationship gets swerved and the
marriage ends in divorce.
By contrast, marital ties in the Muslim society are on
Furner ground. Families seeking alliances also look for
partners with a strong moral character, among other
things. Thus if the married life ofa couple becomes a bit
bumpy, they still pull on for th~ sake of their children to
whom they owe a religious obligation to bring up
properly.
PREFACE
As the title of the paper suggests, Dr. Zeenath Kausar has
attempted to present the Islamic perspective on sexuality,
reproduction and family system.
Family values play an important role from the Islamic
point of view. Islam seeks to create durable bases for
relationship within the family, which is the building block
of a society. When each ofthese blocks is firmly placed,
the social structure of the society rests on a strong
foundation. Where the cohesive bond gets diluted, the
society begins to tumble.
The Western society presents a glaring example of this
phenomenon. The growing number of single-parent
families in the wake of rampant divorces has created a
situation in which uninhibited sex has culminated in the
outbreak of AIDs and other sexually transmitted diseases.
An important factor for the breakdown ofmarriages in
the West is the fact that marital relations in Western
societies are governed by material considerations, such as
wealth, beauty or fame. These are ephemeral values
doomed to self-erosion in the course of time. When that
happens, the fragile relationship gets swerved and the
marriage ends in divorce.
By contrast, marital ties in the Muslim society are on
Furner ground. Families seeking alliances also look for
partners with a strong moral character, among other
things. Thus if the married life ofa couple becomes a bit
bumpy, they still pull on for th~ sake of their children to
whom they owe a religious obligation to bring up
properly.
I-et me concludewith thesewords of wisdom from Cdiph
Omar. Once a man soughthis adviceon divorcing hiswife.
When Cdiph Omar asked him for the reason,the man
replied: "I'm no more in love with her." Whereupon,
Caliph Omar retorted:"Are familiesbuilt upon love alone?
X/hat about inter-family relationship and the sharedlife
with their children?"
Dr. Maneh FI. Al-Johani
SecretaryGeneral
World Assemblyof Muslim Youth CX/AlvfY)
Riyadh,SaudiArabia
Let me conclude with these words ofwisdom from Caliph
Omar. Once a man sought his advice on divorcing his wife.
When Caliph Omar asked him for the reason, the man
replied: "I'm no more in love with her." Whereupon,
Caliph Omar retorted: "Are families built upon love alone?
What about inter-family relationship and the shared life
with their children?"
Dr. Maneh H. Al-Johani
Secretary General
World Assembly of Muslim Youth (WAMY)
Ftiyadh,Saudi~bi~
Let me conclude with these words ofwisdom from Caliph
Omar. Once a man sought his advice on divorcing his wife.
When Caliph Omar asked him for the reason, the man
replied: "I'm no more in love with her." Whereupon,
Caliph Omar retorted: "Are families built upon love alone?
What about inter-family relationship and the shared life
with their children?"
Dr. Maneh H. Al-Johani
Secretary General
World Assembly of Muslim Youth (WAMY)
Ftiyadh,Saudi~bi~
ISLAM ON SEXUALITY,
REPRODUCTIONAND FAMILY
SYSTEM
Introduction:
1.Life an IntegratedWhole:
Islam, which implies willing and completesubmissionto Allah
(tn"tl is a completeway of life embracingall aspectsof life
including sexual,reproductive,maritalandfamilial. It underlines
two importantpoints:
Firstly, Islam perceiveslife as an integratedwholeandfor this
reasonsexualityand reproductionarepartsof thewholeIslamic
systemof life, notoutsideit.
secondly, Islam which is a Divinely ordainedsystemof life,
possessesinjunctionsand regulationsin its texts- theeur'anand
the Prophetic traditions for the regulation of sexuality,
reproductionandall thatarerelatedto these.
Islamlc philosophyof Tawhid integratesall aspectsof life
Tawhid impliesunity of God,unityof theprophets,unityof life,
unity of mankind,unity of the purposeof creation,unity oi
knowledge,etc. Thefundamentalbeliefs-
i) Thatthereis nogodbutAllah (swt)andtheprophetMohammad
(pbuh)isthelastmessengerof Allah (surt)for thewholemankind;
ii) That man'slife in this rvorrd is temporaryandhe/shehasto
follow Allah's ordainedway of rife (Isllm) in all aspectsto be
successfulhereandin Hereafterand;
iii) That with Allah restsall thefinaljudgementsof rewardsand
punishmentsin the akhirah(life, hereaftei;areall basedonthese
unity, Tawhid. Hence,questionson'sexuality'and'reproduction,
arealsoanchoredontheTawhidicparadigm.
ISLAM ON SEXUALITY,
REPRODUCTION AND FAMILY
SYSTEM
Introduction:
1. Life an Integrated Whole:
Islam, which implies willing and complete submission to Allah
(swt) is a complete way of life embracing all aspects of life
including sexual, reproductive, marital and familial. It underlines
two important points:
Firstly, Islam perceives life as an integrated whole and for this
reason sexuality and reproduction are parts ofthe whole Islamic
system of life, not outside it.
Secondly, Islam which is a Divinely ordained system of life,
possesses injunctions and regulations in its texts - the Qur'an and
the Prophetic traditions for the regulation of sexuality,
reproduction and all that are related to these.
Islamic philosophy of Tawhid integrates all aspects of life.
Tawhid implies unity of God, unity ofthe prophets, unity of life,
unity of mankind, unity of the purpose of creation, un,ity of
knowledge, etc. The fundamental beliefs -
i) That there is no god but Allah (swt) and the Prophet Mohammad
(pbuh) is the last messenger ofAllah (swt) for the whole mankind;
ii) That man's life in this world is temporary and he/she has to
follow Allah's ordained way of life (Islam) in all aspects to be
successful here and in Hereafter and~
iii) That with Allah rests all the final judgements of rewards and
punishments in the akhirah (life, hereafter) are all based on these
Unity, Tawhid. Hence, questions on 'sexuality' and 'reproduction'
are also anchored on the Tawhidic paradigm.
ISLAM ON SEXUALITY,
REPRODUCTION AND FAMILY
SYSTEM
Introduction:
1. Life an Integrated Whole:
Islam, which implies willing and complete submission to Allah
(swt) is a complete way of life embracing all aspects of life
including sexual, reproductive, marital and familial. It underlines
two important points:
Firstly, Islam perceives life as an integrated whole and for this
reason sexuality and reproduction are parts ofthe whole Islamic
system of life, not outside it.
Secondly, Islam which is a Divinely ordained system of life,
possesses injunctions and regulations in its texts - the Qur'an and
the Prophetic traditions for the regulation of sexuality,
reproduction and all that are related to these.
Islamic philosophy of Tawhid integrates all aspects of life.
Tawhid implies unity of God, unity ofthe prophets, unity of life,
unity of mankind, unity of the purpose of creation, un,ity of
knowledge, etc. The fundamental beliefs -
i) That there is no god but Allah (swt) and the Prophet Mohammad
(pbuh) is the last messenger ofAllah (swt) for the whole mankind;
ii) That man's life in this world is temporary and he/she has to
follow Allah's ordained way of life (Islam) in all aspects to be
successful here and in Hereafter and~
iii) That with Allah rests all the final judgements of rewards and
punishments in the akhirah (life, hereafter) are all based on these
Unity, Tawhid. Hence, questions on 'sexuality' and 'reproduction'
are also anchored on the Tawhidic paradigm.
II. VicegerencY- PurPoseof Life:
The very raisond'etreof man'screationaccordingto theQur'an
is the peribrmanceof thevicegerencyof Allah (swt).TheQur'an
says:
BeholdThy Lord saidto theangels:
I will createa vicegerenton earth.
Hence, anythoughtandactivityof manin Islam,bethatsexualor
reproductiue,rhould be ultimately related to thispurposeof life
vicegerencyof Allah (swt)
Sexualifyand ReProduction:
With this brief backgroundof Islamicworldview,it is easiernow
to look intotheIslamictextson sexualityandreproduction.
Sexualityin Islam is nottrivializedasman'sanimalisticfunction
to be tackled by hisown whim andfancy. Sexualityis perceived
as one of the essentialparts of man's life to beregulatedand
disciplinedthroughtheproperguidance.
A man and a woman in Islamcanenterinto sexualrelationship
only after marriage,which is reckonedasa 'sign'of Allah (swt)
andthewaysof theprophets',TheQur'ansays:
And amongHis Signsis thisthatHe createdspousesfor youfrom
yourselves,thatye maydwell in tranquilitywith them.
We indeed sent messengersbeforeyou (O Mohammad)andWe
assignedthemwivesandchildren.
It implies that in Islam,theverybasisof themaritalrelationship
between husbandand wife through which they can enter into
sexualrelationshipis 'love'. Furthermore,Allah (swt)implants
II. Vicegerency - Purpose of Life:
The very raison d'etre of man's creation according to the Qur'an
is the perfonnance ofthe vicegerency of Allah (swt). The Qur1an
says:
Behold Thy Lord said to the angels:
I will create a vicegerent on earth.
Hence, any thought and activity of man in Islam, be that sexual or
reproductive, should be ultimately related to this purpose of life
vicegerency ofAllah (swt).
Sexuality and Reproduction:
With this briefbackground ofIslamic worldview, it is easier now
to look into the Islamic texts on sexuality and reproduction.
Sexuality in Islam is not trivialized as man's animalistic function
to be tackled by his own whim and fancy. Sexuality is perceived
as one of the essential parts of man's life to be regulated and
disciplined through the proper guidance.
A man and a woman in Islam can enter into sexual relationship
only after marriage, which is reckoned as a 'sign' of Allah (swt)
and the ways ofthe prophets', The Qur1an says:
And among His Signs is this that He created spouses for you from
yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them.
We indeed sent messengers before you (0 Mohammad) and We
assigned them wives and children.
It implies that in Islam, the very basis ofthe marital relationship
between husband and wife through which they can enter into
sexual relationship is 'love'. Furthermore, Allah (swt) implants
2
II. Vicegerency - Purpose of Life:
The very raison d'etre of man's creation according to the Qur'an
is the perfonnance ofthe vicegerency of Allah (swt). The Qur1an
says:
Behold Thy Lord said to the angels:
I will create a vicegerent on earth.
Hence, any thought and activity of man in Islam, be that sexual or
reproductive, should be ultimately related to this purpose of life
vicegerency ofAllah (swt).
Sexuality and Reproduction:
With this briefbackground ofIslamic worldview, it is easier now
to look into the Islamic texts on sexuality and reproduction.
Sexuality in Islam is not trivialized as man's animalistic function
to be tackled by his own whim and fancy. Sexuality is perceived
as one of the essential parts of man's life to be regulated and
disciplined through the proper guidance.
A man and a woman in Islam can enter into sexual relationship
only after marriage, which is reckoned as a 'sign' of Allah (swt)
and the ways ofthe prophets', The Qur1an says:
And among His Signs is this that He created spouses for you from
yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them.
We indeed sent messengers before you (0 Mohammad) and We
assigned them wives and children.
It implies that in Islam, the very basis ofthe marital relationship
between husband and wife through which they can enter into
sexual relationship is 'love'. Furthermore, Allah (swt) implants
2
this 'love'in husbandandwife towardseachothersothattheymay
live in peaceand harmony. such an Islamic attitudetowards
sexuality goes entirely against the mere lusty cravings in
man/womanand itssatisfactionthroughlegitimateor illegitimate
ways. In Islam,it isthe'love'andthestrongcovenant(nikah)that
unite man and woman not 'force'
or temporaryarrangements
outsidemarriageor cohabitation.Forthisreason,all typei of pre-
marital andextramaritalrelationships,fornication,illitit
"u*alityare completelycondemnedisIslamandmanis ordainednorro go
nearerto adultery TheQur'ansays:
Nor comenighto adultery
For it is a shameful(deed)
And anevil,openingtheroad
(to otherevils).
Islam thus makes a distinction between sexuality that is
constrainedand disciprinedthrough maritarrelationshipand
sexuality,which transgressesmorarityand spiritualityandturnsanimalism. Islam does notoverlookthesexuardrivein manbutinstitutionalize it through marriage ro protect man fromimmorality.TheprophetMohammad(pbuh)said:
o young men! Thoseamongyouwhocansupportawife shouldmarry for it restrains*y*r
-ftor
castingt.uir grunces)andpreservesonefromimmorality.
Islam is quite sensitivein a[ issuespertainingto marriageandsexuality. As sexuarityoutsidemaniageis iilegTtim"i.,*u.riug*without the properconsentis declaredinvar-id. The rrophetMohammad(pbuh)said:
'A
widow shail not bemarrieduntil shebeconsulted,nor shailavirgin be' marrieduntil her consentbeasked;andthata womanrip^ein yearsshail haveherconsenfaskedi" *--"g" andif sherefuses,sheshallnotbemarriedby force.,
this 'love' in husband and wife towards each other so that they may
live in peace and harmony. Such an Islamic attitude towards
sexuality goes entirely against the mere lusty cravings in
man/woman and its satisfaction through legitimate or illegitimate
ways. In Islam, it is the 'love' and the strong covenant (nikah) that
unite man and woman not 'force' or temporary arrangements
outside marriage or cohabitation. For this reason, all types ofpre-
marital and extra marital relationships, fornication, illicit carnality
are completely condemned is Islam and man is ordained not to go
nearer to adultery. The Qur'an says:
Nor come nigh to adultery
For it is a shameful (deed)
And an evil, opening the road
(to other evils).
Islam thus makes a distinction between sexuality that is
constrained and disciplined through marital relationship and
sexuality, which transgresses morality and spirituality and turns
animalism. Islam does not overlook the sexual drive in man but
institutionalize it through marriage to protect man from
immorality. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said:
o young men! Those among you who can support a wife should
marry for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances) and
preserves one from immorality.
Islam is quite sensitive in all issues pertaining to marriage and
sexuality. As sexuality outside marriage is illegitimate, marriage
without the proper consent is declared invalid. The Prophet
Mohammad (pbuh) said:
'A widow shall not be married until she be consulted, nor shall a
virgin be, married until her consent be asked; and that a woman
ripe in years shall have her consent asked in marriage and if she
refuses, she shall not be married by force.'
this 'love' in husband and wife towards each other so that they may
live in peace and harmony. Such an Islamic attitude towards
sexuality goes entirely against the mere lusty cravings in
man/woman and its satisfaction through legitimate or illegitimate
ways. In Islam, it is the 'love' and the strong covenant (nikah) that
unite man and woman not 'force' or temporary arrangements
outside marriage or cohabitation. For this reason, all types ofpre-
marital and extra marital relationships, fornication, illicit carnality
are completely condemned is Islam and man is ordained not to go
nearer to adultery. The Qur'an says:
Nor come nigh to adultery
For it is a shameful (deed)
And an evil, opening the road
(to other evils).
Islam thus makes a distinction between sexuality that is
constrained and disciplined through marital relationship and
sexuality, which transgresses morality and spirituality and turns
animalism. Islam does not overlook the sexual drive in man but
institutionalize it through marriage to protect man from
immorality. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said:
o young men! Those among you who can support a wife should
marry for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances) and
preserves one from immorality.
Islam is quite sensitive in all issues pertaining to marriage and
sexuality. As sexuality outside marriage is illegitimate, marriage
without the proper consent is declared invalid. The Prophet
Mohammad (pbuh) said:
'A widow shall not be married until she be consulted, nor shall a
virgin be, married until her consent be asked; and that a woman
ripe in years shall have her consent asked in marriage and if she
refuses, she shall not be married by force.'
Therefore,marriagein Islam,unlikeradicalfeminismis neitheran
imprisonmentfor woman that is thrust or forceduponherasa
punishmentnor enslavementthat makeshersubservientto man.
Marriageis a covenantof faithandconsentanda bondof loveand
concern.
Marital relationshipin Islamis neitherpatnarchalandpoliticalnor
economicand sexualfor its own sake as againstthecommon
perceptionof gender feminists,but moralandspiritual' In fact,
husbandand wife complementeachotherin Islamsincehusband
provideseconomicandsexualsecurityto hiswife andhischildren
and his wife guardsherchastityandherhusband'spossessionsas
hermoralobligation TheQur'ansays:
Men aretheprotectors
And maintainersof women,becauseGod
Hasgiventheonesmore(strength)
Thanthe other,andbecause
They supportthem
Fromtheirmeans
Thereforetherighteouswomen
Are devoutlyobedientandguard
In (thehusband's)absence
WhatGodwouldhavethemguard.
Thus, husbandand wife in Islamcomplementeachotheranddo
not competefor dominationandsupremacy.They arefriendsand
co-partnersin their co-venture-vicegerencyof Allah(swt). Both
enjoy rights and duties towards each other and both have
obligations to Allah (swt). This is very clearly statedin the
Qur'anicversewhich proclaimsequality in thevery creationof
manandwomaq pointingouttheircreationfrom a singlesoul:
O mankind, beconsciousof your dutyto your Lord, Who created
you from a singlesoul,createdof like nature,her mate,andfrom
the two createdandspreadmanymenandwomen;andbemindful
Therefore, marriage in Islam, unlike radical feminism is neither an
imprisonment for woman that is thrust or forced upon her as a
punishment nor enslavement that makes her subservient to man.
Marriage is a covenant of faith and consent and a bond of love and
concern.
Marital relationship in Islam is neither patriarchal and political nor
economic and sexual for its own sake as against the common
perception of gender feminists, but moral and spiritual. In fact,
husband and wife complement each other in Islam since husband
provides economic and sexual security to his wife and his children
and his wife guards her chastity and her husband's possessions as
her moral obligation. The Qur'an says:
Men are the protectors
And maintainers ofwomen, because God
Has given the ones more (strength)
Than the other, and because
They support them
From their means
Therefore the righteous women
Are devoutly obedient and guard
In (the husband's) absence
What God would have them guard.
Thus, husband and wife in Islam complement each other and do
not compete for domination and supremacy. They are friends and
co-partners in their co-venture-vicegerency of Allah (8wt). Both
enjoy rights and duties towards each other and both have
obligations to Allah (swt). This is very clearly stated in the
Qur'anic verse which proclaims equality in the very creation qf
man and woman, pointing out their creation from a single soul:
o mankind, be conscious ofyour duty to your Lord, Who created
you from a single soul, created oflike nature, her mate, and from
the two created and spread many men and women~ and be mindful
4
Therefore, marriage in Islam, unlike radical feminism is neither an
imprisonment for woman that is thrust or forced upon her as a
punishment nor enslavement that makes her subservient to man.
Marriage is a covenant of faith and consent and a bond of love and
concern.
Marital relationship in Islam is neither patriarchal and political nor
economic and sexual for its own sake as against the common
perception of gender feminists, but moral and spiritual. In fact,
husband and wife complement each other in Islam since husband
provides economic and sexual security to his wife and his children
and his wife guards her chastity and her husband's possessions as
her moral obligation. The Qur'an says:
Men are the protectors
And maintainers ofwomen, because God
Has given the ones more (strength)
Than the other, and because
They support them
From their means
Therefore the righteous women
Are devoutly obedient and guard
In (the husband's) absence
What God would have them guard.
Thus, husband and wife in Islam complement each other and do
not compete for domination and supremacy. They are friends and
co-partners in their co-venture-vicegerency of Allah (8wt). Both
enjoy rights and duties towards each other and both have
obligations to Allah (swt). This is very clearly stated in the
Qur'anic verse which proclaims equality in the very creation qf
man and woman, pointing out their creation from a single soul:
o mankind, be conscious ofyour duty to your Lord, Who created
you from a single soul, created oflike nature, her mate, and from
the two created and spread many men and women~ and be mindful
4
of
-your duty to God by whosenameyouappearto oneanother
andto (thetiesof) womb. VerilyGodwitch.jouer you.
Even if the sexualsatisfactionis performedby manandwoman
while being mindful of its etiqurtti ur ordainedin theeur,anand
sunnah, it is reckonedas tbadnh andsadaqah (charity), The
ProphetMohammad(pbuh)said.
Did Allah not makefor youthatfrom which you can givesadaqdl
verily, every time you saysuhhanaAlrah,ihereis Jsadaqua-and
for everytime you sayAllahu Akbarthereis asa*qa;-
Every time you say Laa irahaiil Ailah, thereis aiadaqaand for
lurry
timeyou sayAlhamdulillah,thereis asadaqa;
t
Every act of enjoining.whatis right thereis sacraqaandin every
act of forbidding evil there is i sadaqa, and in fo.r, sexual
relationsalsothereis asadaqa.
Thereuponthecompanionsasked:o Messengerof Alrah!Is there
a rewardfor oneof uswhenhesatisfieshissexuardesire?
Thg.lpptet replied:Don't you see,had hesatisfieditwiththe
forbidden would there not haue6eena sin upon him? The
companionssaid:"yes".
r$
froghet (pbuh) said: In the sameway,whenhesatisfiesitwith thelawful,thereis for him in thata reward.
Tlrus,sexualityis neverperceivedby Isramasa merecarnardesire
of man to be fulfilled in anyanimalistic*uy.r tr*ft"ur*r. eutman in Islam is ordainedto folrowcertain.tiq*tt. in hisse*uarrelationshipso that he shourdrememberAllatrtrortl euenuerorethis act and do not fall a prey to thesatanic;;ill ihi, canbeeasily gleaned tkough a careful reading of iew prophetic
traditions,eitherpracticedor spokenby himJn thesematters.
of your duty to God by Whose name you appeal to one another
and to (the ties ot) womb. Verily God watches over you.
Even if the sexual satisfaction is perfonned by man and woman
while being mindful ofits etiquette as ordained in the Qur'an and
Sunnah, it is reckoned as ibadah and sadaqah (charity). The
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said:
Did Allah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa?
Verily, every time you say Subhana Allah, there is a sadaqua_and
for every time you say Allahu Akbar there is a sadaqa;
Every time you say Laa ilaha ill Allah, there is a sadaqa and for
every time you say Alhamduli/lah, there is a sadaqa;
Every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa and in every
act of forbidding evil there is a sadaqa. and in your sexual
relations also there is a sadaqa.
Thereupon the companions asked: 0 Messenger of Allah! Is there
a reward for one ofus when he satisfies his sexual desire?
The Prophet replied: Don't you see, had he satisfied it with the
forbidden would there not have been a sin upon him? The
companions said: "yes".
The Prophet (pbuh) said: In the same way, when he satisfies it
with the lawful, there is for him in that a reward.
Thus, sexuality is never perceived by Islam as a mere carnal desire
of man to be fulfilled in any animalistic way as he pleases. But
man in Islam is ordained to follow certain etiquette in his sexual
relationship so that he should remember Allah (swt) even before
this act and do not fall a prey to the Satanic trap. This can be
easily gleaned through a careful reading of few Prophetic
traditions, either practiced or spoken by him on these matters.
5
of your duty to God by Whose name you appeal to one another
and to (the ties ot) womb. Verily God watches over you.
Even if the sexual satisfaction is perfonned by man and woman
while being mindful ofits etiquette as ordained in the Qur'an and
Sunnah, it is reckoned as ibadah and sadaqah (charity). The
Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said:
Did Allah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa?
Verily, every time you say Subhana Allah, there is a sadaqua_and
for every time you say Allahu Akbar there is a sadaqa;
Every time you say Laa ilaha ill Allah, there is a sadaqa and for
every time you say Alhamduli/lah, there is a sadaqa;
Every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa and in every
act of forbidding evil there is a sadaqa. and in your sexual
relations also there is a sadaqa.
Thereupon the companions asked: 0 Messenger of Allah! Is there
a reward for one ofus when he satisfies his sexual desire?
The Prophet replied: Don't you see, had he satisfied it with the
forbidden would there not have been a sin upon him? The
companions said: "yes".
The Prophet (pbuh) said: In the same way, when he satisfies it
with the lawful, there is for him in that a reward.
Thus, sexuality is never perceived by Islam as a mere carnal desire
of man to be fulfilled in any animalistic way as he pleases. But
man in Islam is ordained to follow certain etiquette in his sexual
relationship so that he should remember Allah (swt) even before
this act and do not fall a prey to the Satanic trap. This can be
easily gleaned through a careful reading of few Prophetic
traditions, either practiced or spoken by him on these matters.
5
It is exhortedthat the husbandshould place his hand on the
forelock of herwife at thetime of consummatingthe marriageand
prayfor Allah'sblessings.TheProphetMohammad(pbuh)said:
When any of you marriesa womanheshouldhold her foreloch
mention Allah most high, and pray for His blessingssaying:O
Allah, I askYou for the goodin herandthe goodwith which You
have createdher;andI seekrefugein You from the evil in herand
theevil with which You havecreatedher.
Furthermore,accordingto someothertraditions,it is desirableif
the husbandpresentsto his wife somethingto drink to show
kindness to herandto offer prayertogetherto remaincloselyever
after for thegoodandseekrefugein Allah (s.w.t)from the evil. It
is alsoevidencedfrom severaltraditionsthat it is commendableto
make 'wudhu' (ablution) after sex beforesleepbut obligatoryto
takebathaftersexbeforeor aftersleepwheneverpossible.
It is quite obvious from the above discussion that senralityin
Islam is neither perceived as an objective of life to betotally
immersedin it with no othermoralandspiritualconsiderationsnor
a beastlyactto befulfilled throu,ghanyway andmeanfor its own
sake. Islamdisciplinessexualdesireof manandalsoexpectsfrom
him that he should rememberAllah (swt)evenwhilejoining his
wife for sexandevenprayto Allah (sw) to protecthis child from
evil, if he is granted a child after the sex. It is clearfrom the
following prayerandtheProphetictradition:
In the name of Allah, O Allah! Keepus awayfrom the devil, and
keep the devil away from that which You may grant us
(offspring).
TheProphetMohammad(pbuh)said:
After that, if Allah decreesthat theywill havea child,thedevil
will neverbeableto harmthatchild.
It is exhorted that the husband should place his hand on the
forelock ofher wife at the time ofconsummating the marriage and
pray for Allah's blessings. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said:
When any of you marries a woman he should hold her forelock,
mention Allah most high, and pray for His blessings saying: 0
Allah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You
have created her; and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and
the evil with which You have created her.
Furthermore, according to some other traditions, it is desirable if
the husband presents to his wife something to drink to show
kindness to her and to offer prayer together to remain closely ever
after for the good and seek refuge in Allah (s.w.t) from the evil. It
is also evidenced from several traditions that it is commendable to
make 'wudhu' (ablution) after sex before sleep but obligatory to
take bath after sex before or after sleep whenever possible.
It is quite obvious from the above discussion that sexuality in
Islam is neither perceived as an objective of life to be totally
immersed in it with no other moral and spiritual considerations nor
a beastly act to be fulfilled throu,~ any way and mean for its own
sake. Islam disciplines sexual desire of man and also expects from
him that he should remember Allah (swt) even while joining his
wife for sex and even pray to Allah (swt) to protect his child from
evil, if he is granted a child after the sex. It is clear from the
following prayer and the Prophetic tradition:
In the name of Allah, 0 Allah! Keep us away from the devil, and
keep the devil away from that which You may grant us
(offspring).
The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said:
After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil
will never be able to harm that child.
6
It is exhorted that the husband should place his hand on the
forelock ofher wife at the time ofconsummating the marriage and
pray for Allah's blessings. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said:
When any of you marries a woman he should hold her forelock,
mention Allah most high, and pray for His blessings saying: 0
Allah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You
have created her; and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and
the evil with which You have created her.
Furthermore, according to some other traditions, it is desirable if
the husband presents to his wife something to drink to show
kindness to her and to offer prayer together to remain closely ever
after for the good and seek refuge in Allah (s.w.t) from the evil. It
is also evidenced from several traditions that it is commendable to
make 'wudhu' (ablution) after sex before sleep but obligatory to
take bath after sex before or after sleep whenever possible.
It is quite obvious from the above discussion that sexuality in
Islam is neither perceived as an objective of life to be totally
immersed in it with no other moral and spiritual considerations nor
a beastly act to be fulfilled throu,~ any way and mean for its own
sake. Islam disciplines sexual desire of man and also expects from
him that he should remember Allah (swt) even while joining his
wife for sex and even pray to Allah (swt) to protect his child from
evil, if he is granted a child after the sex. It is clear from the
following prayer and the Prophetic tradition:
In the name of Allah, 0 Allah! Keep us away from the devil, and
keep the devil away from that which You may grant us
(offspring).
The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said:
After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil
will never be able to harm that child.
6
It alsoimpliesthatIslamnotonlyenjoinsmanto rememberAllah
(swt) before hissexualrelationshipbutalsomakeshim conscious
of his responsibilitytowards hisprospectivechirdto protecthim
fromthecunningSatan.
Family: ParentsObligationsTowardsChildren
sexuality, reproduction and children's responsibility are
interconnectedin Islam throughaninstitution,family. Familyis
consideredas the frrstschoolof childrenwheretheyarenot only
nurtured but also taught basic morals and etiquette sothatthe
childrencan appreciateIslamicethosandvalues.A stabrefamily
will give rise to a stablesocietyanda stablecivilization. All this
requiresthat both parentsandchildrenshouldbemindfulof their
obligationstowards eachotheralongwith theirrightssothatthey
may love and respecteach other. Islamenjoinsits adherentsto
love childrenand to be mindfulof theirresponsibilitiestowards
themfromtheverybeginningof theirinceptionandevenearlierto
it. TheQur'ansays:
Andbemindfulof yourdutyto Godin whosenameyou appeal
to oneanotherandto thetiesof thewomb.
Jhus,
Islamemphasizesthatparentsshouldrealizethatthe proper
developmentof the child begins
'from
themother'swomb itself.
FI:l* the parentsshould be concerned abouttheir prospective
childfromtheverybeginning.
It has been scientifically proved that apregnantwomanshould
abstain fromalcoholicdrinksandnarcoticsandavoidtensions.If
she fails to consider alr
these precautionarymeasures,any
complicationin her ownhealthandthatof the
"iito
in thewom6
canhardlybeprevent:d ft is alsopointedoutthattherelationship
betweenthe prospectivemoth*r
"nd
theprospectivefathershould
not be conflict-riddenbecauseit advers*tyuiT*rt,thementaland
It also implies that Islam not only enjoins man to remember Allah
(swt) before his sexual relationship but also makes him conscious
of his responsibility towards his prospective child to protect him
from the cunning Satan.
Family: Parents Obligations Towards Children
Sexuality, reproduction and children's responsibility are
interconnected in Islam through an institution, family. Family is
considered as the first school ofchildren where they are not only
nurtured but also taught basic morals and etiquette so that the
children can appreciate Islamic ethos and values. A stable family
will give rise to a stable society and a stable civilization. All this
requires that both parents and children should be mindful oftheir
obligations towards each other along with their rights so that they
may love and respect each other. Islam enjoins its adherents to
love children and to be mindful oftheir responsibilities towards
them from the very beginning oftheir inception and even earlier to
it. The Qur'an says:
And be mindful ofyour duty to God in whose name you appeal
to one another and to the ties ofthe womb.
Thus, Islam emphasizes that parents should realize that the proper
development of the child begins 'from the mother's womb itself
Hence the parents should be concerned about their prospective
child from the very beginning.
It has been scientifically proved that a pregnant woman should
abstain from alcoholic drinks and narcotics and avoid tensions. If
she fails to consider all these precautionary measures, any
complication in her own health and that ofthe child in the womb
can hardly be prevented. It is also pointed out that the relationship
between the prospective mother and the prospective father should
not be conflict-ridden because it adversely affects the mental and
7
It also implies that Islam not only enjoins man to remember Allah
(swt) before his sexual relationship but also makes him conscious
of his responsibility towards his prospective child to protect him
from the cunning Satan.
Family: Parents Obligations Towards Children
Sexuality, reproduction and children's responsibility are
interconnected in Islam through an institution, family. Family is
considered as the first school ofchildren where they are not only
nurtured but also taught basic morals and etiquette so that the
children can appreciate Islamic ethos and values. A stable family
will give rise to a stable society and a stable civilization. All this
requires that both parents and children should be mindful oftheir
obligations towards each other along with their rights so that they
may love and respect each other. Islam enjoins its adherents to
love children and to be mindful oftheir responsibilities towards
them from the very beginning oftheir inception and even earlier to
it. The Qur'an says:
And be mindful ofyour duty to God in whose name you appeal
to one another and to the ties ofthe womb.
Thus, Islam emphasizes that parents should realize that the proper
development of the child begins 'from the mother's womb itself
Hence the parents should be concerned about their prospective
child from the very beginning.
It has been scientifically proved that a pregnant woman should
abstain from alcoholic drinks and narcotics and avoid tensions. If
she fails to consider all these precautionary measures, any
complication in her own health and that ofthe child in the womb
can hardly be prevented. It is also pointed out that the relationship
between the prospective mother and the prospective father should
not be conflict-ridden because it adversely affects the mental and
7
physical heatth of the prospectivemother and eventually the
prospective child. Islam through the above quoted verse
empiratically makesit clearthatparentsshouldbemindful of their
dutlestowardstheir childrenfrom the very inception'
Islam commandsits believersnot only to takecareof the physical
upbringing of their childrenbut alsotheir educational,moraland
spiritualdevelopment.TheQur'ansays:
o you who believe! strive to protectyourselvesandyour wives
andchildrenfrom the fire.
obviously, the best way of protectingchildrenfrol
lhe
fire is by
providini adequate educationandpropertraining' .More
thanthe
wealth and thi materialproperty,childrenrequirebesteducation
for their real successheie ind in the Hereafter. TheProphet
Mohammad(Pbuh)said:
Of all that a father cangiveto hischildrenthebestis theirgood
educationandtraining-
In the contemporaryage, where Muslim Ummah is facing
multitudesof intellectualchallenges,theaboveProphetictradition
;."dr gleater focus. Unless childrenarementallywell fedwith
proper"educationand skills, they becomeeasily susceptibleto
alien culture and lifestyles. Today'schildren are tomorrow's
future. The strong foundationof thefutureprospectsof Islamic
culture and civilizationdependson strongeducationalfoundation
of thechildren.It deemsnecessaryfor themto bewell acquainted
of thedominantideologies,aswell as,Islamasthecomprehensive
systemof life sothattheyshouldbetherolemodelsin thefuture
to takecareof theUmmah'sresponsibilityvis-a-vismankind' The
Qu/an teaches its adherentsto pray to Allah (sovt)for their
childrenwith theseaspirations-'
physical health of the prospective mother and eventually the
prospective child. Islam through the above quoted verse
emphatically makes it clear that parents should be mindful oftheir
duties towards their children from the very inception.
Islam commands its believers not only to take care ofthe physical
upbringing of their children but also their educational, moral and
spiritual development. The Qur'an says:
o you who believe! Strive to protect yourselves and your wives
and children from the fire.
Obviously, the best way ofprotecting children from the fire is by
providing adequate education and proper training. More than the
wealth and the material property, children require best education
for their real success here and in the Hereafter. The Prophet
Mohammad (pbuh) said:
Of all that a father can give to his children the best is their good
education and training.
In the contemporary age, where Muslim Ummah is facing
multitudes of intellectual challenges, the above Prophetic tradition
needs greater focus. Unless children are mentally well fed with
proper education and skills, they become easily susceptible to
alien culture and lifestyles. Today's children are tomorrow's
future. The strong foundation ofthe future prospects of Islamic
culture and civilization depends on strong educational foundation
of the children. It deems necessary for them to be well acquainted
of the dominant ideologies, as well as, Islam as the comprehensive
system of life so that they should be the role models in the future
to take care ofthe Ummah's responsibility vis-a-vis mankind. The
Qur'an teaches its adherents to pray to Allah (swt) for their
children with these aspirations-.
8
physical health of the prospective mother and eventually the
prospective child. Islam through the above quoted verse
emphatically makes it clear that parents should be mindful oftheir
duties towards their children from the very inception.
Islam commands its believers not only to take care ofthe physical
upbringing of their children but also their educational, moral and
spiritual development. The Qur'an says:
o you who believe! Strive to protect yourselves and your wives
and children from the fire.
Obviously, the best way ofprotecting children from the fire is by
providing adequate education and proper training. More than the
wealth and the material property, children require best education
for their real success here and in the Hereafter. The Prophet
Mohammad (pbuh) said:
Of all that a father can give to his children the best is their good
education and training.
In the contemporary age, where Muslim Ummah is facing
multitudes of intellectual challenges, the above Prophetic tradition
needs greater focus. Unless children are mentally well fed with
proper education and skills, they become easily susceptible to
alien culture and lifestyles. Today's children are tomorrow's
future. The strong foundation ofthe future prospects of Islamic
culture and civilization depends on strong educational foundation
of the children. It deems necessary for them to be well acquainted
of the dominant ideologies, as well as, Islam as the comprehensive
system of life so that they should be the role models in the future
to take care ofthe Ummah's responsibility vis-a-vis mankind. The
Qur'an teaches its adherents to pray to Allah (swt) for their
children with these aspirations-.
8
My Lord makemekeepprayerand(also)letmy offspring(do so)
Our Lord acceptmy appeal! Our Lord, forgivemy parentsand
me.
our Lordl Grant usin our spousesandour offspringthecomfort
of oureyesandmakeusa modelfor theneedful.
It also implies that Islam completelyrejectsthe perceptionof
those who look to women and children as burdenor as an
oppressedclass. In fact,Islaminspiresmento look attheirwives
and childrenasthecomfortersof theireyes,astheirsourceofjoy,
peaceand solaceand nota suppressedandoppressedclassto be
dominatedandover-powered.Man'sdominationandsuppression
of woman and childrengo againsttheveryspiritof Islam,which
assertsthat 'commandis only for Allah',notfor man. Thetime
when a child is born,theIslamicclarioncalrthat'thereis no god
but Allah' is conveyedintohisears,whichimpliesthatheshould
submitto nonesaveAllah. Besides,it is arsoevidentfromoneof
the traditions that whenevera child in the prophet's (pbuh)
householdbeginsto speak,the prophet (pbuh)thoughthimthe
second verseof surah al-Furqanwhich gives the messageof
Allah's Sovereigntyand the Unity of God (Tawhid). The
translationof itsverseis asfollows:
He to Whombelongs
Thedominionof theheavens
And theearth-no son
HasHebegotten,norHasHe
A partnerin His dominion
It isHe Whocreated
All things,andorderedthem
In dueproportions.
so fromtheverybeginning,Islamemphasizesthatchildrenshould
be ingrainedwith the Tawhidic messageand that they should
willingly submitto nonebutAilah. It dols nothowevermeanthat
My Lord make me keep prayer and (also) let my offspring (do so)
Our Lord accept my appeal! Our Lord, forgive my parents and
me.
Our Lord! Grant us in our spouses and our offspring the comfort
ofour eyes and make us a model for the needful.
It also implies that Islam completely rejects the perception of
those who look to women and children as burden or as an
oppressed class. In fact, Islam inspires men to look at their wives
and children as the comforters oftheir eyes, as their source ofjoy,
peace and solace and not a suppressed and oppressed class to be
dominated and over-powered. Man's domination and suppression
of woman and children go against the very spirit of Islam, which
asserts that 'command is only for Allah', not for man. The time
when a child is born, the Islamic clarion call that 'there is no god
but Allah' is conveyed into his ears, which implies that he should
submit to none save Allah. Besides, it is also evident from one of
the traditions that whenever a child in the Prophet's (pbuh)
household begins to speak, the Prophet (pbuh) thought him the
second verse of Surah al-Furqan which gives the message of
Allah's Sovereignty and the Unity of God (Tawhid). The
translatioJ:l of its verse is as follows:
He to Whom belongs
The dominion ofthe heavens
And the earth- no son
Has He begotten, nor Has He
A partner in His dominion
It is He Who created
All things, and ordered them
In due proportions.
So from the very beginning, Islam emphasizes that children should
be ingrained with the Tawhidic message and that they should
willingly submit to none but Allah. It does not however mean that
9
My Lord make me keep prayer and (also) let my offspring (do so)
Our Lord accept my appeal! Our Lord, forgive my parents and
me.
Our Lord! Grant us in our spouses and our offspring the comfort
ofour eyes and make us a model for the needful.
It also implies that Islam completely rejects the perception of
those who look to women and children as burden or as an
oppressed class. In fact, Islam inspires men to look at their wives
and children as the comforters oftheir eyes, as their source ofjoy,
peace and solace and not a suppressed and oppressed class to be
dominated and over-powered. Man's domination and suppression
of woman and children go against the very spirit of Islam, which
asserts that 'command is only for Allah', not for man. The time
when a child is born, the Islamic clarion call that 'there is no god
but Allah' is conveyed into his ears, which implies that he should
submit to none save Allah. Besides, it is also evident from one of
the traditions that whenever a child in the Prophet's (pbuh)
household begins to speak, the Prophet (pbuh) thought him the
second verse of Surah al-Furqan which gives the message of
Allah's Sovereignty and the Unity of God (Tawhid). The
translatioJ:l of its verse is as follows:
He to Whom belongs
The dominion ofthe heavens
And the earth- no son
Has He begotten, nor Has He
A partner in His dominion
It is He Who created
All things, and ordered them
In due proportions.
So from the very beginning, Islam emphasizes that children should
be ingrained with the Tawhidic message and that they should
willingly submit to none but Allah. It does not however mean that
9
they are not. expected to obey their parentsrather Islam enjoins
children to be good to their parentswhich shall be discussedlater.
Islam also encouragesthat both parents,mother and father should
express their utmost love to their children, give them time, play
with them and cheer them up through many ways of interaction
with them. It is reported that Hadrat Amir (may Allah be pleased
with him) who held a high position in the government during the
reign of Hadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) once
visited the houseof Hadrat Umar (may Allah be pleasedwith him)
and was surprised to seethat few children had mounted the chest
of Caliph and were engagedin playing. Seeingthe astonishment
of Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) the Caliph enquired
about his treatment to his children? Upon this, he replied: "Amir
ul-Mu'minin, as soon as I enter my house the people of my
household are struck with terror and standdumb with fear. On
hearing this, the Caliph said: "Amir (may Allah be pleasedwith
you) you are a follower of the Holy Prophet (peaceand blessings
be upon him) and yet are ignorant of the important injunction that
a Muslim should behave towards his familv members with
extreme love and deeptenderness."
It explicitly reveals that Islam is completely against the despotic
and tyrannical attitude of father and male members of the family
over wives and children. Islam expects from man a gentlemanly
behavior not harsh approach towards his family. The prophet
(pbuh) said:
The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the
bestto my family.
The relationship between man and woman in Islam is not therefore
the relationship of master and servant but that of garments to each
other and also protecting friends of one another. The eur'an says:
They are garments for you and you are garments for them.
l0
they are not expected to obey their parents rather Islam enjoins
children to be good to their parents which shall be discussed later.
Islam also encourages that both parents, mother and father should
express their utmost love to their children, give them time, play
with them and cheer them up through many ways of interaction
with them. It is reported that Hadrat Amir (may Allah be pleased
with him) who held a high position in the government during the
reign of Hadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) once
visited the house ofHadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him)
and was surprised to see that few children had mounted the chest
of Caliph and were engaged in playing. Seeing the astonishment
of Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) the Caliph enquired
about his treatment to his children? Upon this, he replied: "Amir
ul-Mu'minin, as soon as I enter my house the people of my
household are struck with terror and stand dumb with fear. On
hearing this, the Caliph said: "Amir (may Allah be pleased with
you) you are a follower ofthe Holy Prophet (peace and blessings
be upon him) and yet are ignorant ofthe important injunction that
a Muslim should behave towards his family members with
extreme love and deep tenderness. "
It explicitly reveals that Islam is completely against the despotic
and tyrannical attitude of father and male members ofthe family
over wives and children. Islam expects from man a gentlemanly
behavior not harsh approach towards his family. The Prophet
(pbuh) said:
The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the
best to my family.
The relationship between man and woman in Islam is not therefore
the relationship of master and servant but that ofgarments to each
other and also protecting friends ofone another. The Qur'an says:
They are garments for you and you are garments for them.
10
they are not expected to obey their parents rather Islam enjoins
children to be good to their parents which shall be discussed later.
Islam also encourages that both parents, mother and father should
express their utmost love to their children, give them time, play
with them and cheer them up through many ways of interaction
with them. It is reported that Hadrat Amir (may Allah be pleased
with him) who held a high position in the government during the
reign of Hadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) once
visited the house ofHadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him)
and was surprised to see that few children had mounted the chest
of Caliph and were engaged in playing. Seeing the astonishment
of Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) the Caliph enquired
about his treatment to his children? Upon this, he replied: "Amir
ul-Mu'minin, as soon as I enter my house the people of my
household are struck with terror and stand dumb with fear. On
hearing this, the Caliph said: "Amir (may Allah be pleased with
you) you are a follower ofthe Holy Prophet (peace and blessings
be upon him) and yet are ignorant ofthe important injunction that
a Muslim should behave towards his family members with
extreme love and deep tenderness. "
It explicitly reveals that Islam is completely against the despotic
and tyrannical attitude of father and male members ofthe family
over wives and children. Islam expects from man a gentlemanly
behavior not harsh approach towards his family. The Prophet
(pbuh) said:
The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the
best to my family.
The relationship between man and woman in Islam is not therefore
the relationship of master and servant but that ofgarments to each
other and also protecting friends ofone another. The Qur'an says:
They are garments for you and you are garments for them.
10
Thus theverybasisof family in Islamarefaith,love,concernand
care for eachothersothat it turnsoutto bea civilizing groundfor
children. Husbandandwife who live in peaceandlove with each
other can concentratewell overtheir childrenandcanbring them
up with moralexcellence,besteducationandspiritualorientation.
Such children would not only contributetheir potentialities
towards the constructionof societyin future,but will remainasa
blessing;br their parentseven after the death of theirparents.
Parentsof suchchildrenwill continueto enjoytherewardsof their
best educationandtraining,whichtheyimpartedto theirchildren.
TheProphet(pbuh)said-.
The actionsof manceasewith his death.But therearethreedeeds
whoserewardandblessingcontinueto reachhim evenafterdeath.
One that he should make a sadaqajariah (recurring charity);
Secondly,he shouldleave behind a legacy of knowledgefrom
which people may continueto derivebenefit; Thirdly, pious
offspringwho continuouslyinvokemercyof Allah uponhim.
Childrenare the blessingswhich Allah (svw)bestowto parents.
But if these children are not educatedandtrainedproperly,they
becomenuisanceto the parentsandthe society. Whereas,if the
children are adequatelyeducated andtrained,theyshallbecome
bearersof Islamic mission, transmittersof Islamicculturein the
societyandalsobestrewardsfor theirdeceasedparents.
Islamforbidsabortionandinfanticide.TheQur'ansays.
Slay notyourchildrenfearingpoverty.We shallprovidefor them
andfor you. Lo! Theslayingof themis greatsin.
Those who kill their children out of their foolishnessare the
greatestlosers.
Thus the very basis of family in Islam are faith, love, concern and
care for each other so that it turns out to be a civilizing ground for
children. Husband and wife who live in peace and love with each
other can concentrate well over their children and can bring them
up with moral excellence, best education and spiritual orientation.
Such children would not only contribute their potentialities
towards the construction of society in future, but will remain as a
blessing lur their parents even after the death oftheir parents.
Parents ofsuch children will continue to enjoy the rewards oftheir
best education and training, which they imparted to their children.
The Prophet (pbuh) said-.
The actions ofman cease with his death. But there are three deeds
whose reward and blessing continue to reach him even after death.
One that he should make a sadaqa jariah (recurring charity);
Secondly, he should leave behind a legacy ofknowledge from
which people may continue to derive benefit; Thirdly, pious
offspring who continuously invoke mercy ofAllah upon him.
Children are the blessings which Allah (swt) bestow to parents.
But if these children are not educated and trained properly, they
become nuisance to the parents and the society. Whereas, ifthe
children are adequately educated and trained, they shall become
bearers of Islamic mission, transmitters ofIslamic culture in the
society and also best rewards for their deceased parents.
Islam forbids abortion and infanticide. The Qur'an says:
Slay not your children fearing poverty. We shall provide for them
and for you. Lo! The slaying ofthem is great sin.
Those who kill their children out of their foolishness are the
greatest losers.
11
Thus the very basis of family in Islam are faith, love, concern and
care for each other so that it turns out to be a civilizing ground for
children. Husband and wife who live in peace and love with each
other can concentrate well over their children and can bring them
up with moral excellence, best education and spiritual orientation.
Such children would not only contribute their potentialities
towards the construction of society in future, but will remain as a
blessing lur their parents even after the death oftheir parents.
Parents ofsuch children will continue to enjoy the rewards oftheir
best education and training, which they imparted to their children.
The Prophet (pbuh) said-.
The actions ofman cease with his death. But there are three deeds
whose reward and blessing continue to reach him even after death.
One that he should make a sadaqa jariah (recurring charity);
Secondly, he should leave behind a legacy ofknowledge from
which people may continue to derive benefit; Thirdly, pious
offspring who continuously invoke mercy ofAllah upon him.
Children are the blessings which Allah (swt) bestow to parents.
But if these children are not educated and trained properly, they
become nuisance to the parents and the society. Whereas, ifthe
children are adequately educated and trained, they shall become
bearers of Islamic mission, transmitters ofIslamic culture in the
society and also best rewards for their deceased parents.
Islam forbids abortion and infanticide. The Qur'an says:
Slay not your children fearing poverty. We shall provide for them
and for you. Lo! The slaying ofthem is great sin.
Those who kill their children out of their foolishness are the
greatest losers.
11
Thus, abortions,child-abuseandinfanticideareall consideredas
heinoussins in Isiam. Islamby its very natureis againstcruelty
and barbarity. Any use of contraceptionloop,shield,plasticor
anything to cause abortionis forbidden. Evenif abortionis done
in seven days,it is unlawful,sincethefertilizedovumis goingto
be a human being. However, only on oneconditionabortionis
allowed- to savethe life of the mother.
It is also importantto point out here that Islam is not against
technology, but misuse of technology. For instance, if
technological devices help mothers to lessensome of their
complicationsduring prenatalperiodandchildbirth Islamhasno
objection. But, if the technologicaldevicesarediscoveredand
used to let unmarried women or teenagegirls to havebabiesif
they wish to, Islam strongly objects it. Similarly, if such
contraceptive devices are invented through which unmarried
women or teenagegirls canengagein sexualrelationshipswithout
becomingpregnant,Islam rejectsit completely.Likewise,Islam
conderr.nhigh-tech reproductive aids developed to produce
artificial mothers,fathersand children,aswell as,technological
way$ andmeansthroughwhich lesbiansandhomosexualsengage
in their deviant sexualityto getchildren. In fact,Islamis totally
againstall deviantformsof sexuality.TheQur'ansays:
Would you reallyapproachmenin your lustsratherthanwomen?
Nay,yearea people(grossly)ignorant.
Islam, no doubt encouragesman to begetchildren,butthrough
rightful meannotby unlawfulact. TheQur'anpointsout howone
of the ProphetsHadhrat Zakaia (peacebeupon him) prayedto
Allah (swt)for thepiousoffspringevenin a veryold age:
Lord! Bestow upon me by Thy bountygoodlyoffspring- Lol
Thou arttheHearerof prayer.
12
Thus, abortions, child-abuse and infanticide are all considered as
heinous sins in lsiam. Islam by its very nature is against cruelty
and barbarity. Any use of contraception loop, shield, plastic or
anything to cause abortion is forbidden. Even if abortion is done
in seven days, it is unlawful, since the fertilized ovum is going to
be a human being. However, only on one condition abortion is
allowed - to save the life ofthe mother.
It is also important to point out here that Islam is not against
technology, but misuse of technology. For instance, if
technological devices help mothers to lessen some of their
complications during prenatal period and childbirth, Islam has no
objection. But, if the technological devices are discovered and
used to let unmarried women or teenage girls to have babies if
they wish to, Islam strongly objects it. Similarly, if such
contraceptive devices are invented through which unmarried
women or teenage girls can engage in sexual relationships without
becoming pregnant, Islam rejects it completely. Likewise, Islam
condemn high-tech reproductive aids developed to produce
artificial mothers, fathers and children, as well as, technological
ways and means through which lesbians and homosexuals engage
in their deviant sexuality to get children. In fact, Islam is totally
against all deviant forms of sexuality. The Qur'an says:
Would you really approach men in your lusts rather than women?
Nay, ye are a people (grossly) ignorant.
Islam, no doubt encourages man to beget children, but through
rightful mean not by unlawful act. The Qur1an points out how one
of the Prophets Hadhrat Zakaria (peace be upon him) prayed to
Allah (swt) for the pious offspring even in a very old age:
Lord! Bestow upon me by Thy bounty goodly offspring - Lo!
Thou art the Hearer of prayer.
12
Thus, abortions, child-abuse and infanticide are all considered as
heinous sins in lsiam. Islam by its very nature is against cruelty
and barbarity. Any use of contraception loop, shield, plastic or
anything to cause abortion is forbidden. Even if abortion is done
in seven days, it is unlawful, since the fertilized ovum is going to
be a human being. However, only on one condition abortion is
allowed - to save the life ofthe mother.
It is also important to point out here that Islam is not against
technology, but misuse of technology. For instance, if
technological devices help mothers to lessen some of their
complications during prenatal period and childbirth, Islam has no
objection. But, if the technological devices are discovered and
used to let unmarried women or teenage girls to have babies if
they wish to, Islam strongly objects it. Similarly, if such
contraceptive devices are invented through which unmarried
women or teenage girls can engage in sexual relationships without
becoming pregnant, Islam rejects it completely. Likewise, Islam
condemn high-tech reproductive aids developed to produce
artificial mothers, fathers and children, as well as, technological
ways and means through which lesbians and homosexuals engage
in their deviant sexuality to get children. In fact, Islam is totally
against all deviant forms of sexuality. The Qur'an says:
Would you really approach men in your lusts rather than women?
Nay, ye are a people (grossly) ignorant.
Islam, no doubt encourages man to beget children, but through
rightful mean not by unlawful act. The Qur1an points out how one
of the Prophets Hadhrat Zakaria (peace be upon him) prayed to
Allah (swt) for the pious offspring even in a very old age:
Lord! Bestow upon me by Thy bounty goodly offspring - Lo!
Thou art the Hearer of prayer.
12
As far as the 'invitro fertilization'(IVF) andtesttubebabiesare
concerned,Islam allowsonly if the'ova'comesfromthemother
and the 'sperm'fromthefatherandtheembryois transferredinto
the uterusof one'sown wife. Any otherusageof the'invitro'
fertilization'by anywomanor manwho arenotmarriedwith each
other but wouldliketo followthistechnologyis notacceptablein
Islam.
Islamic stanceon artificial inseminationis also quite clear. It
forbids the use of the spermof anyoneother thin that of the
husbandto beusedin theprocessof artificialinsemination.such
an act tantamountto adultery,fromIslamicperspective,sinceit
fallsoutsidethemartialunionof manandwoman.
-
Obligationsof ChildrenTowardstheir parents:
There is a reciprocityof rightsanddutiesin Islam. while parenrs
are enjoinedto be mindful of their children for their overall
development,childrenarealsoexhortedto beobedientandkindto
theirparents.
Both parentsandchildrenhavecorrespondingdutiestowardseach
other alongwith their rights. Thereareseveraleur'anicverses
and Prophetictraditionswhich tkow abundanceirtigtt onthe
etiquetteof childrentowardstheirparents.Theeur'ansaiys:
Thy Lord hathdecreedthatyeworshipnonesaveHim and(thatye
show)kindnessto parents.
Islam thusordainedchildrento bekindandgratefulto hisparents.
Good conduct towardsparentsis even regardedas a key to
paradise.TheProphet(pbuh)said:
Your entry into Paradiseor Hell dependsonyourgoodor bad
conducttowardsyourparents.
As far as the 'invitro fertilization' (IYF) and test tube babies are
concerned, Islam allows only ifthe 'ova' comes from the mother
and the 'sperm' from the father and the embryo is transferred into
the uterus of one's own wife. Any other usage ofthe 'invitro'
fertilization' by any woman or man who are not married with each
other but would like to follow this technology is not acceptable in
Islam.
Islamic stance on artificial insemination is also quite clear. It
forbids the use of the sperm of anyone other than that of the
husband to be used in the process of artificial insemination. Such
an act tantamount to adultery, from Islamic perspective, since it
falls outside the martial union of man and woman.
Obligations of Children Towards their Parents:
There is a reciprocity ofrights and duties in Islam. While parents
are enjoined to be mindful of their children for their overall
development, children are also exhorted to be obedient and kind to
their parents.
Both parents and children have corresponding duties towards each
other along with their rights. There are several Qur'anic verses
and Prophetic traditions which throw abundance of light on the
etiquette ofchildren towards their parents. The Qur'an says:
Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none save Him and (that ye
show) kindness to parents.
Islam thus ordained children to be kind and grateful to his parents.
Good conduct towards parents is even regarded as a key to
paradise. The Prophet (pbuh) said:
Your entry into Paradise or Hell depends on your good or bad
conduct towards your parents.
13
As far as the 'invitro fertilization' (IYF) and test tube babies are
concerned, Islam allows only ifthe 'ova' comes from the mother
and the 'sperm' from the father and the embryo is transferred into
the uterus of one's own wife. Any other usage ofthe 'invitro'
fertilization' by any woman or man who are not married with each
other but would like to follow this technology is not acceptable in
Islam.
Islamic stance on artificial insemination is also quite clear. It
forbids the use of the sperm of anyone other than that of the
husband to be used in the process of artificial insemination. Such
an act tantamount to adultery, from Islamic perspective, since it
falls outside the martial union of man and woman.
Obligations of Children Towards their Parents:
There is a reciprocity ofrights and duties in Islam. While parents
are enjoined to be mindful of their children for their overall
development, children are also exhorted to be obedient and kind to
their parents.
Both parents and children have corresponding duties towards each
other along with their rights. There are several Qur'anic verses
and Prophetic traditions which throw abundance of light on the
etiquette ofchildren towards their parents. The Qur'an says:
Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none save Him and (that ye
show) kindness to parents.
Islam thus ordained children to be kind and grateful to his parents.
Good conduct towards parents is even regarded as a key to
paradise. The Prophet (pbuh) said:
Your entry into Paradise or Hell depends on your good or bad
conduct towards your parents.
13
Another tradition of the Prophet (pbuh) also highlights the
necessityof fair treatmentto parentsby children:
Let that man be disgraced,and disgracedagain andlet him be
disgracedeven more. The peopleEnquired:"O Prophetof God
(pbuh)who is that man? TheProphetaffrrmed:"I referto the man
who finds his parentsold in age- bothof themor oneof them-
and yet did not earn entitlementto Paradiseby renderinggood
serviceto them.
It seemsalsopertinentto point out herethat althoughchildrenare
exhorted to be obedient and kind to both parents,a greater
emphasisis given for more better treatmentand devotionto
mother. This is obviously becauseof hergreatersacrificesand
sufferingsfor children. TheQur'ansays:
And We havecommandeduntomankindnesstowardsparentsHis
mother bearethhim with sufferingbringing forth with suffering,
bearinghim andweaningof him in thirty months.
Thisis alsoillustratedthroughvruiousProphetictraditions:
I enjoinmanabouthismother.
I enjoinmanabouthismother.
I enjoinmanabouthismother.
I enjoinmanabouthisfather.
Thus motherhood in Islam is not discardedas a burden,a
stumblingblockfor woman'sdevelopment,a sourceof oppression
and suppression. It is lookeduponwith respectandhonorandis
consideredas a blessingfrom Allah (swt) to man. Motherly
affectionand care deemsindispensablefor theproperupbringing
of childrenalongwith father'saffectionandconcern.Motherhood
is regardedasanessentialinstitutionfor humancivilization.
Another tradition of the Prophet (pbuh) also highlights the
necessity of fair treatment to parents by children:
Let that man be disgraced, and disgraced again and let him be
disgraced even more. The people Enquired: "0 Prophet ofGod
(pbuh) who is that man? The Prophet affirmed: "l refer to the man
who finds his parents old in age - both ofthem or one ofthem -
and yet did not earn entitlement to Paradise by rendering good
service to them.
It seems also pertinent to point out here that although children are
exhorted to be obedient and kind to both parents, a greater
emphasis is given for more better treatment and devotion to
mother. This is obviously because of her greater sacrifices and
sufferings for children. The Qur'an says:
And We have commanded unto man kindness towards parents His
mother beareth him with suffering bringing forth with suffering,
bearing him and weaning of him in thirty months.
This is also illustrated through various Prophetic traditions:
I enjoin man about his mother.
I enjoin man about his mother.
I enjoin man about his mother.
I enjoin man about his father.
Thus motherhood in Islam is not discarded as a burden, a
stumbling block for woman's development, a source ofoppression
and suppression. It is looked upon with respect and honor al)d is
considered as a blessing from Allah (swt) to man. Motherly
affection and care deems indispensable for the proper upbringing
of children along with father's affection and concern. Motherhood
is regarded as an essential institution for human civilization.
14
Another tradition of the Prophet (pbuh) also highlights the
necessity of fair treatment to parents by children:
Let that man be disgraced, and disgraced again and let him be
disgraced even more. The people Enquired: "0 Prophet ofGod
(pbuh) who is that man? The Prophet affirmed: "l refer to the man
who finds his parents old in age - both ofthem or one ofthem -
and yet did not earn entitlement to Paradise by rendering good
service to them.
It seems also pertinent to point out here that although children are
exhorted to be obedient and kind to both parents, a greater
emphasis is given for more better treatment and devotion to
mother. This is obviously because of her greater sacrifices and
sufferings for children. The Qur'an says:
And We have commanded unto man kindness towards parents His
mother beareth him with suffering bringing forth with suffering,
bearing him and weaning of him in thirty months.
This is also illustrated through various Prophetic traditions:
I enjoin man about his mother.
I enjoin man about his mother.
I enjoin man about his mother.
I enjoin man about his father.
Thus motherhood in Islam is not discarded as a burden, a
stumbling block for woman's development, a source ofoppression
and suppression. It is looked upon with respect and honor al)d is
considered as a blessing from Allah (swt) to man. Motherly
affection and care deems indispensable for the proper upbringing
of children along with father's affection and concern. Motherhood
is regarded as an essential institution for human civilization.
14
As discussedabove,Islamattachesgreatimportanceto themutual
Iove and concern for eachotherin the family. As fatheris asked
to prayto Allah (swt)to bringin hiswife andchildrencomfortfor
his eyes, childrenare exhortedto show glancesof love and
devotionto parents.TheProphet(pbuh)said:
"The pious offspring who castesa singlelook of affectionat his
parentsreceivesa reward from God equal to therewardof an
acceptedHajj." Thepeoplesubmitted:"O Prophetof Allah (peace
be uponyou),if someonecastsa hundredsuchglancesof loveand
affection at his parents,what then?"TheProphetreplied:"yes,
indeed,even if one does so a hundredtimea day,hewill geta
hundredfold reward. Godis far greaterthanyou imagineandis
completelyfreefrom pettynarrowmindedness.
Childrenarealsoexhortedto prayfor their parents;
O, our Lord! Grantforgivenessto my parentsandmeandpardon
all the faithful on theDay of Reckoning.
FewObservationson theAboveDiscussion:
I sexuality,reproductionandparentsandchildrenrelationshipin
the family are all perceivedin Islam as naturaland essential
aspects of man's life and are not separatedfrom the whole
Tawhidic frameworkof life andthought. Man is alwaysreminded
to be mindful of Allah'sguidanceall throughtheserelationships
whethersexualor parental.
2 sexuality and reproduction outside marriageare rejected
downright and consideredunlawful, no matterall technological
devicesmakethempossibleoutsidemarriage.
I A loving, devoted, peacefuland harmoniousrelationship
between husband and wife is greatly emphasized. Man,s
domination and woman'ssubservienceto man are completely
l 5
As discussed above, Islam attaches great importance to the mutual
love and concern for each other in the family. As father is asked
to pray to Allah (swt) to bring in his wife and children comfort for
his eyes, children are exhorted to show glances of love and
devotion to parents. The Prophet (pbuh) said:
liThe pious offspring who castes a single look ofaffection at his
parents receives a reward from God equal to the reward ofan
accepted Hajj.1I The people submitted: 110 Prophet ofAllah (peace
be upon you), if someone casts a hundred such glances of love and
affection at his parents, what then?1I The Prophet replied: IIYes,
indeed, even if one does so a hundred time a day, he will get a
hundred fold reward. God is far greater than you imagine and is
completely free from petty narrow mindedness.
Children are also exhorted to pray for their parents:
0, our Lord! Grant forgiveness to my parents and me and pardon
all the faithful on the Day ofReckoning.
Few Observations on the Above Discussion:
1. Sexuality, reproduction and parents and children relationship in
the family are all perceived in Islam as natural and essential
aspects of man's life and are not separated from the whole
Tawhidic framework of life and thought. Man is always reminded
to be mindful of Allah's guidance all through these relationships
whether sexual or parental.
2. Sexuality and reproduction outside marriage are rejected
downright and considered unlawful, no matter all technological
devices make them possible outside marriage.
3. A loving, devoted, peaceful and harmonious relationship
between husband and wife is greatly emphasized. Man's
domination and woman's subservience to man are completely
15
As discussed above, Islam attaches great importance to the mutual
love and concern for each other in the family. As father is asked
to pray to Allah (swt) to bring in his wife and children comfort for
his eyes, children are exhorted to show glances of love and
devotion to parents. The Prophet (pbuh) said:
liThe pious offspring who castes a single look ofaffection at his
parents receives a reward from God equal to the reward ofan
accepted Hajj.1I The people submitted: 110 Prophet ofAllah (peace
be upon you), if someone casts a hundred such glances of love and
affection at his parents, what then?1I The Prophet replied: IIYes,
indeed, even if one does so a hundred time a day, he will get a
hundred fold reward. God is far greater than you imagine and is
completely free from petty narrow mindedness.
Children are also exhorted to pray for their parents:
0, our Lord! Grant forgiveness to my parents and me and pardon
all the faithful on the Day ofReckoning.
Few Observations on the Above Discussion:
1. Sexuality, reproduction and parents and children relationship in
the family are all perceived in Islam as natural and essential
aspects of man's life and are not separated from the whole
Tawhidic framework of life and thought. Man is always reminded
to be mindful of Allah's guidance all through these relationships
whether sexual or parental.
2. Sexuality and reproduction outside marriage are rejected
downright and considered unlawful, no matter all technological
devices make them possible outside marriage.
3. A loving, devoted, peaceful and harmonious relationship
between husband and wife is greatly emphasized. Man's
domination and woman's subservience to man are completely
15
rejected. Men and women complement each other and not
compete against each other. Islamic family system is neither
patriarchalnor matriarchal,ratherconsultational,shura-based.
4. An affectionate,cordial, intimate and a deeper relationship
betweenparentsandchildrenis stronglyupheldin Islam. A stable
family of caring parents and devoted childrenis expectedfor a
bettersocietyanda healthiercivilization.
Conclusion:
We cannotafficrdto becomplacentandtakecomfort in theIslamic
theoriesof senrality, reproductioq husbandandwife relationship
and parents and childrtn relationship which are based on the
Qu/anic injunctions and Prophetictraditionsunlesswe seethese
theoriesareput into Practice.
For instance,it is generallyfoundout thatthe relationshippatterns
between husbandandwife andbetweenpafentsandchildreneven
in some Muslim societiesarealsonot satisfactory.Broadlythere
arethreeproblems:
L Men tend to keep a despoticattitude towards women and
children. There is a big communication gapbetweenthe male
membersandfemalesandchildren. Men expectfrom womenonly
familial serviceof cooking,cleaningandchildrencare. Exchange
of thoughts and ideas on any problem of the outsideworld, of
Muslim Ummah, of intellectual or of any other field is almost
absent. Insteadof a loving andcaringenvironment,a fearfuland
tensedenvironmentprevails in the housebecausemenusually
maintain distancefrom women and children as a mark of their
artificial honor. This sort of honorsometimeseventurnsto be
horrific among other family membersand distorts all sorts of
relationships. Although it goes againstIslamic injunctionsas
describedabove, sometimesevena religioushalois attachedto it
l 6
rejected. Men and women complement each other and not
compete against each other. Islamic family system is neither
patriarchal nor matriarchal, rather consultational, shura-based.
4. An affectionate, cordial, intimate and a deeper relationship
between parents and children is strongly upheld in Islam. A stable
family of caring parents and devoted children is expected for a
better society and a healthier civilization.
Conclusion:
We cannot afford to be complacent and take comfort in the Islamic
theories of sexuality, reproduction, husband and wife relationship
and parents and children relationship which are based on the
Qur'anic injunctions and Prophetic traditions unless we see these
theories are put into practice.
For instance, it is generally found out that the relationship patterns
between husband and wife and between parents and children even
in some Muslim societies are also not satisfactory. Broadly there
are three problems:
1. Men tend to keep a despotic attitude towards women and
children. There is a big communication gap between the male
members and females and children. Men expect from women only
familial service ofcooking, cleaning and children care. Exchange
of thoughts and ideas on any problem of the outside world, of
Muslim Ummah, of intellectual or of any other field is almost
absent. Instead ofa loving and caring environment, a fearful and
tensed environment prevails in the house because men usually
maintain distance from women and children as a mark oftheir
artificial honor. This sort of honor sometimes even turns to be
horrific among other family members and distorts all sorts of
relationships. Although it goes against Islamic injunctions as
described above, sometimes even a religious halo is attached to it
16
rejected. Men and women complement each other and not
compete against each other. Islamic family system is neither
patriarchal nor matriarchal, rather consultational, shura-based.
4. An affectionate, cordial, intimate and a deeper relationship
between parents and children is strongly upheld in Islam. A stable
family of caring parents and devoted children is expected for a
better society and a healthier civilization.
Conclusion:
We cannot afford to be complacent and take comfort in the Islamic
theories of sexuality, reproduction, husband and wife relationship
and parents and children relationship which are based on the
Qur'anic injunctions and Prophetic traditions unless we see these
theories are put into practice.
For instance, it is generally found out that the relationship patterns
between husband and wife and between parents and children even
in some Muslim societies are also not satisfactory. Broadly there
are three problems:
1. Men tend to keep a despotic attitude towards women and
children. There is a big communication gap between the male
members and females and children. Men expect from women only
familial service ofcooking, cleaning and children care. Exchange
of thoughts and ideas on any problem of the outside world, of
Muslim Ummah, of intellectual or of any other field is almost
absent. Instead ofa loving and caring environment, a fearful and
tensed environment prevails in the house because men usually
maintain distance from women and children as a mark oftheir
artificial honor. This sort of honor sometimes even turns to be
horrific among other family members and distorts all sorts of
relationships. Although it goes against Islamic injunctions as
described above, sometimes even a religious halo is attached to it
16
for which reason women and children could hardly express
themselvesandbecomevictims of horror.
z- ln some cases,women arealoneexpectedto take overall the
responsibilitiesof children and men completelyexemptfrom it.
For thebettereducationalupbringingof chi-ldren,bottrmotherand
father require to play their important roles. In thosefamilies
where women are hardly educated,it becomesall the more
problematicfor childrento getpropereducationalfeedback.
whereas in some cases,where both parents are educatedand
working, again childrenbecomethevictims sincethey do not get
proper attention from their parents.Men claim thatihey aretoo
busy andwomenblamemenfor non-co-operationin house-chores
and claim that they areover-burdenedwith doubleworkloadand
tend to neglectchildren. children feelthat they arealienatedfrom
both parents.
3. Due to lack of mutualunderstandingandconfidenceon each
otheq the relationshipsbetween husbandandwife growstensed
and sometimesgivesriseto divorce. children of divorcedparents
turn out to beaggressiveandanti-social.
for which reason women and children could hardly express
themselves and become victims ofhorror.
2. In some cases, women are alone expected to take over all the
responsibilities of children and men completely exempt from it.
For the better educational upbringing ofchildren, both mother and
father require to play their important roles. In those families
where women are hardly educated, it becomes all the more
problematic for children to get proper educational feedback.
Whereas in some cases, where both parents are educated and
working, again children become the victims since they do not get
proper attention from their parents. Men claim that they are too
busy and women blame men for non-eo-operation in house-chores
and claim that they are over-burdened with double workload and
tend to neglect children. Children feel that they are alienated from
both parents.
3. Due to lack of mutual understanding and confidence on each
other, the relationships between husband and wife grows tensed
and sometimes gives rise to divorce. Children ofdivorced parents
tum out to be aggressive and anti-social.
17
for which reason women and children could hardly express
themselves and become victims ofhorror.
2. In some cases, women are alone expected to take over all the
responsibilities of children and men completely exempt from it.
For the better educational upbringing ofchildren, both mother and
father require to play their important roles. In those families
where women are hardly educated, it becomes all the more
problematic for children to get proper educational feedback.
Whereas in some cases, where both parents are educated and
working, again children become the victims since they do not get
proper attention from their parents. Men claim that they are too
busy and women blame men for non-eo-operation in house-chores
and claim that they are over-burdened with double workload and
tend to neglect children. Children feel that they are alienated from
both parents.
3. Due to lack of mutual understanding and confidence on each
other, the relationships between husband and wife grows tensed
and sometimes gives rise to divorce. Children ofdivorced parents
tum out to be aggressive and anti-social.
17
References:
l. For a comprehensiveand convincing study-o_nIslam asthe
complete wai of life, see various books of Syed Abul Ala
Mawdudi ruih as - Islamic Way of Life, Lahore Islamic
publications, 1992; see also Let usbeMuslims,Kuala Lumpur,
The Islamic Foundation, A.S' Noordeen' l99l' For a
contemporaryperspective on Islarq seeMohammadAhmedullah
siddiqi' (ed),'Islam-. A ContemporaryPerspective,chicago,
NAAMPS Publication,1994.
2,. see Ismaiel Raji al-Faruqi, Tawhid: Its Implications for
if,ougf,r and Life, Herndon" IiIT, 1982;MohammadNejatullah
Siddi[ui, Tawhid- The Concept and the Process,in Khurshid
Ahmed andZafarIshaqAnsared.,IslamicPerspectivesStudiesin
Honor of sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi, Leicester' Islamic
Foundation,1979,PP.l 7-33.
3. Al-Qur'an 2:30; For a concreteunderstandingof theuniversal
mission:aryrole oi a Muslim, see Sayyed A!u! Ala Mawdudi'
WitnessuntoMankind,Leicester,IslamicFoundation'1995'
4. Al-Qur'an30:21
5.Al-Qur'anl3:38.
6. Al-Qur'an4-.21.
7. Al-Qut'an l7-.3?3-l seealsoMohammedAbdurRauf,Islamic
View of Woman and the Family, Chicago' Kazi
Publications,1996.
L Sahihat-Muslinr,chapter,TheBook of Marriage'Ha
IE
References:
1. For a comprehensive and convincing study on Islam as the
complete way of life, see various books of Syed Abul Ala
Mawdudi such as - Islamic Way of Life, Lahore Islamic
Publications, 1992; see also Let uS be Muslims, Kuala Lumpur,
The Islamic Foundation, A.S. Noordeen, 1991. For a
contemporary perspective on Islam, see Mohammad Ahmedullah
Siddiqi (ed.), Islam-. A Contemporary Perspective, Chicago,
NAA1.1PS Publication, 1994.
2. See Ismaiel Raji al-Faruqi, Tawhid: Its Implications for
Thought and Life, Herndon, lIIT, 1982; Mohammad Nejatullah
Siddiqui, Tawhid- The Concept and the Process, in Khurshid
Ahmed and Zafar Ishaq Ansar ed., Islamic Perspectives Studies in
Honor of Sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi, Leicester, Islamic
Foundation, 1979, pp. 17-33.
3. Al-Qur'an 2:30~ For a concrete understanding ofthe universal
missionary role of a Muslim, see Sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi,
Witness unto Mankind, Leicester, Islamic Foundation, 1995 .
4. Al-Qur'an 30:21
5. Al-Qur'an 13:38.
6. Al-Qur'an 4-.21.
7. Al-Quran 17-.323-1 see also Mohammed Abdur Rauf, Islamic
View of Woman and the Family, Chicago, Kazi
Publications, 1996.
8. Sahih ai-Muslim, chapter, The Book ofMarriage, Ha
18
References:
1. For a comprehensive and convincing study on Islam as the
complete way of life, see various books of Syed Abul Ala
Mawdudi such as - Islamic Way of Life, Lahore Islamic
Publications, 1992; see also Let uS be Muslims, Kuala Lumpur,
The Islamic Foundation, A.S. Noordeen, 1991. For a
contemporary perspective on Islam, see Mohammad Ahmedullah
Siddiqi (ed.), Islam-. A Contemporary Perspective, Chicago,
NAA1.1PS Publication, 1994.
2. See Ismaiel Raji al-Faruqi, Tawhid: Its Implications for
Thought and Life, Herndon, lIIT, 1982; Mohammad Nejatullah
Siddiqui, Tawhid- The Concept and the Process, in Khurshid
Ahmed and Zafar Ishaq Ansar ed., Islamic Perspectives Studies in
Honor of Sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi, Leicester, Islamic
Foundation, 1979, pp. 17-33.
3. Al-Qur'an 2:30~ For a concrete understanding ofthe universal
missionary role of a Muslim, see Sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi,
Witness unto Mankind, Leicester, Islamic Foundation, 1995 .
4. Al-Qur'an 30:21
5. Al-Qur'an 13:38.
6. Al-Qur'an 4-.21.
7. Al-Quran 17-.323-1 see also Mohammed Abdur Rauf, Islamic
View of Woman and the Family, Chicago, Kazi
Publications, 1996.
8. Sahih ai-Muslim, chapter, The Book ofMarriage, Ha
18
family sysytem_in_islam
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p),lzlt.-i

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family sysytem_in_islam

  • 1. Family System In Islam By Dr.ZeenatKauther -Il -I I ' fl' . . . . . - r.. - . - - - • , ../ . ~,I . '. ~ --......... ', ' _. ... L' ,..- . r;~. - - -- - -' -- II ~ ~ -...~ .._.. ' - - -'";/ - <. . - ,.. -Il -I I ' fl' . . . . . - r.. - . - - - • , ../ . ~,I . '. ~ --......... ', ' _. ... L' ,..- . r;~. - - -- - -' -- II ~ ~ -...~ .._.. ' - - -'";/ - <. . - ,..
  • 2. #s IslamonSexuality,Reproduction and Family System PaperPresentedto the InternationalConferenceof NGOs Seoul,Korea 10-16October1999 By Dr. ZeenathKausar WorldAssemblyofMrnlim youth" (wAtvfY) Riyadh,SaudiArabia -Islam on Sexuality) Reproduction and Family System Paper Presented to the International Conference ofNGOs Seoul) Korea 10-16 October 1999 By Dr. Zeenath Kausar World Assembly ofMuslim Youth, (WAMY) Riyadh) Saudi Arabia -Islam on Sexuality) Reproduction and Family System Paper Presented to the International Conference ofNGOs Seoul) Korea 10-16 October 1999 By Dr. Zeenath Kausar World Assembly ofMuslim Youth, (WAMY) Riyadh) Saudi Arabia
  • 3. PREFACE As the tide of the papersugests, Dr. ZeenathKausarhas attemgted to present the Islamicperspectiveon se<uality, reproductionand family system. Family values play an imporant rore from the Islamic point of view. Islam seeks to create durable bases for relationship within the familr, which is the building block gf " society. when each of theseblocksis nrmlyilaced, the social struch*e of the society rests on a strong foundation. wfhere the cohesive bond gets diluted, th; societybeginsto nrmble The westem society presentsa glaringexampleofthis phenomenon. The grovdng tt.t*b.r or rittgt.-parent families in the wake of ""*p*t divorceshas"createda sihration in which uninhibited ro hasculminatedin the outbreakof ArDs and other sexuallytransmitteddiseases. An rmporant factor for the breakdown of marriagesin the west is the fact that marial relations in sTestem societies aregovemedby materialconsiderations,suchas wealth' _beauty or fame. These are ephemeralvalues doomed to self-erosionin the courseof time.when that happens, the fragile relationship gets swerved andthe marriageendsin divorce By contrasg marital ues in the Muslim society areon firmer ground. Families seeking afriancesalso look for partners qdth a strong moral character, among other thirp. Thus if the marriedlife of a couplebecomis a bit bumpy, they still pull on for the sakeoittt.ir childrento whom - th.y owe z religious obtigation to bring up properly. PREFACE As the title of the paper suggests, Dr. Zeenath Kausar has attempted to present the Islamic perspective on sexuality, reproduction and family system. Family values play an important role from the Islamic point of view. Islam seeks to create durable bases for relationship within the family, which is the building block of a society. When each ofthese blocks is firmly placed, the social structure of the society rests on a strong foundation. Where the cohesive bond gets diluted, the society begins to tumble. The Western society presents a glaring example of this phenomenon. The growing number of single-parent families in the wake of rampant divorces has created a situation in which uninhibited sex has culminated in the outbreak of AIDs and other sexually transmitted diseases. An important factor for the breakdown ofmarriages in the West is the fact that marital relations in Western societies are governed by material considerations, such as wealth, beauty or fame. These are ephemeral values doomed to self-erosion in the course of time. When that happens, the fragile relationship gets swerved and the marriage ends in divorce. By contrast, marital ties in the Muslim society are on Furner ground. Families seeking alliances also look for partners with a strong moral character, among other things. Thus if the married life ofa couple becomes a bit bumpy, they still pull on for th~ sake of their children to whom they owe a religious obligation to bring up properly. PREFACE As the title of the paper suggests, Dr. Zeenath Kausar has attempted to present the Islamic perspective on sexuality, reproduction and family system. Family values play an important role from the Islamic point of view. Islam seeks to create durable bases for relationship within the family, which is the building block of a society. When each ofthese blocks is firmly placed, the social structure of the society rests on a strong foundation. Where the cohesive bond gets diluted, the society begins to tumble. The Western society presents a glaring example of this phenomenon. The growing number of single-parent families in the wake of rampant divorces has created a situation in which uninhibited sex has culminated in the outbreak of AIDs and other sexually transmitted diseases. An important factor for the breakdown ofmarriages in the West is the fact that marital relations in Western societies are governed by material considerations, such as wealth, beauty or fame. These are ephemeral values doomed to self-erosion in the course of time. When that happens, the fragile relationship gets swerved and the marriage ends in divorce. By contrast, marital ties in the Muslim society are on Furner ground. Families seeking alliances also look for partners with a strong moral character, among other things. Thus if the married life ofa couple becomes a bit bumpy, they still pull on for th~ sake of their children to whom they owe a religious obligation to bring up properly.
  • 4. I-et me concludewith thesewords of wisdom from Cdiph Omar. Once a man soughthis adviceon divorcing hiswife. When Cdiph Omar asked him for the reason,the man replied: "I'm no more in love with her." Whereupon, Caliph Omar retorted:"Are familiesbuilt upon love alone? X/hat about inter-family relationship and the sharedlife with their children?" Dr. Maneh FI. Al-Johani SecretaryGeneral World Assemblyof Muslim Youth CX/AlvfY) Riyadh,SaudiArabia Let me conclude with these words ofwisdom from Caliph Omar. Once a man sought his advice on divorcing his wife. When Caliph Omar asked him for the reason, the man replied: "I'm no more in love with her." Whereupon, Caliph Omar retorted: "Are families built upon love alone? What about inter-family relationship and the shared life with their children?" Dr. Maneh H. Al-Johani Secretary General World Assembly of Muslim Youth (WAMY) Ftiyadh,Saudi~bi~ Let me conclude with these words ofwisdom from Caliph Omar. Once a man sought his advice on divorcing his wife. When Caliph Omar asked him for the reason, the man replied: "I'm no more in love with her." Whereupon, Caliph Omar retorted: "Are families built upon love alone? What about inter-family relationship and the shared life with their children?" Dr. Maneh H. Al-Johani Secretary General World Assembly of Muslim Youth (WAMY) Ftiyadh,Saudi~bi~
  • 5. ISLAM ON SEXUALITY, REPRODUCTIONAND FAMILY SYSTEM Introduction: 1.Life an IntegratedWhole: Islam, which implies willing and completesubmissionto Allah (tn"tl is a completeway of life embracingall aspectsof life including sexual,reproductive,maritalandfamilial. It underlines two importantpoints: Firstly, Islam perceiveslife as an integratedwholeandfor this reasonsexualityand reproductionarepartsof thewholeIslamic systemof life, notoutsideit. secondly, Islam which is a Divinely ordainedsystemof life, possessesinjunctionsand regulationsin its texts- theeur'anand the Prophetic traditions for the regulation of sexuality, reproductionandall thatarerelatedto these. Islamlc philosophyof Tawhid integratesall aspectsof life Tawhid impliesunity of God,unityof theprophets,unityof life, unity of mankind,unity of the purposeof creation,unity oi knowledge,etc. Thefundamentalbeliefs- i) Thatthereis nogodbutAllah (swt)andtheprophetMohammad (pbuh)isthelastmessengerof Allah (surt)for thewholemankind; ii) That man'slife in this rvorrd is temporaryandhe/shehasto follow Allah's ordainedway of rife (Isllm) in all aspectsto be successfulhereandin Hereafterand; iii) That with Allah restsall thefinaljudgementsof rewardsand punishmentsin the akhirah(life, hereaftei;areall basedonthese unity, Tawhid. Hence,questionson'sexuality'and'reproduction, arealsoanchoredontheTawhidicparadigm. ISLAM ON SEXUALITY, REPRODUCTION AND FAMILY SYSTEM Introduction: 1. Life an Integrated Whole: Islam, which implies willing and complete submission to Allah (swt) is a complete way of life embracing all aspects of life including sexual, reproductive, marital and familial. It underlines two important points: Firstly, Islam perceives life as an integrated whole and for this reason sexuality and reproduction are parts ofthe whole Islamic system of life, not outside it. Secondly, Islam which is a Divinely ordained system of life, possesses injunctions and regulations in its texts - the Qur'an and the Prophetic traditions for the regulation of sexuality, reproduction and all that are related to these. Islamic philosophy of Tawhid integrates all aspects of life. Tawhid implies unity of God, unity ofthe prophets, unity of life, unity of mankind, unity of the purpose of creation, un,ity of knowledge, etc. The fundamental beliefs - i) That there is no god but Allah (swt) and the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) is the last messenger ofAllah (swt) for the whole mankind; ii) That man's life in this world is temporary and he/she has to follow Allah's ordained way of life (Islam) in all aspects to be successful here and in Hereafter and~ iii) That with Allah rests all the final judgements of rewards and punishments in the akhirah (life, hereafter) are all based on these Unity, Tawhid. Hence, questions on 'sexuality' and 'reproduction' are also anchored on the Tawhidic paradigm. ISLAM ON SEXUALITY, REPRODUCTION AND FAMILY SYSTEM Introduction: 1. Life an Integrated Whole: Islam, which implies willing and complete submission to Allah (swt) is a complete way of life embracing all aspects of life including sexual, reproductive, marital and familial. It underlines two important points: Firstly, Islam perceives life as an integrated whole and for this reason sexuality and reproduction are parts ofthe whole Islamic system of life, not outside it. Secondly, Islam which is a Divinely ordained system of life, possesses injunctions and regulations in its texts - the Qur'an and the Prophetic traditions for the regulation of sexuality, reproduction and all that are related to these. Islamic philosophy of Tawhid integrates all aspects of life. Tawhid implies unity of God, unity ofthe prophets, unity of life, unity of mankind, unity of the purpose of creation, un,ity of knowledge, etc. The fundamental beliefs - i) That there is no god but Allah (swt) and the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) is the last messenger ofAllah (swt) for the whole mankind; ii) That man's life in this world is temporary and he/she has to follow Allah's ordained way of life (Islam) in all aspects to be successful here and in Hereafter and~ iii) That with Allah rests all the final judgements of rewards and punishments in the akhirah (life, hereafter) are all based on these Unity, Tawhid. Hence, questions on 'sexuality' and 'reproduction' are also anchored on the Tawhidic paradigm.
  • 6. II. VicegerencY- PurPoseof Life: The very raisond'etreof man'screationaccordingto theQur'an is the peribrmanceof thevicegerencyof Allah (swt).TheQur'an says: BeholdThy Lord saidto theangels: I will createa vicegerenton earth. Hence, anythoughtandactivityof manin Islam,bethatsexualor reproductiue,rhould be ultimately related to thispurposeof life vicegerencyof Allah (swt) Sexualifyand ReProduction: With this brief backgroundof Islamicworldview,it is easiernow to look intotheIslamictextson sexualityandreproduction. Sexualityin Islam is nottrivializedasman'sanimalisticfunction to be tackled by hisown whim andfancy. Sexualityis perceived as one of the essentialparts of man's life to beregulatedand disciplinedthroughtheproperguidance. A man and a woman in Islamcanenterinto sexualrelationship only after marriage,which is reckonedasa 'sign'of Allah (swt) andthewaysof theprophets',TheQur'ansays: And amongHis Signsis thisthatHe createdspousesfor youfrom yourselves,thatye maydwell in tranquilitywith them. We indeed sent messengersbeforeyou (O Mohammad)andWe assignedthemwivesandchildren. It implies that in Islam,theverybasisof themaritalrelationship between husbandand wife through which they can enter into sexualrelationshipis 'love'. Furthermore,Allah (swt)implants II. Vicegerency - Purpose of Life: The very raison d'etre of man's creation according to the Qur'an is the perfonnance ofthe vicegerency of Allah (swt). The Qur1an says: Behold Thy Lord said to the angels: I will create a vicegerent on earth. Hence, any thought and activity of man in Islam, be that sexual or reproductive, should be ultimately related to this purpose of life vicegerency ofAllah (swt). Sexuality and Reproduction: With this briefbackground ofIslamic worldview, it is easier now to look into the Islamic texts on sexuality and reproduction. Sexuality in Islam is not trivialized as man's animalistic function to be tackled by his own whim and fancy. Sexuality is perceived as one of the essential parts of man's life to be regulated and disciplined through the proper guidance. A man and a woman in Islam can enter into sexual relationship only after marriage, which is reckoned as a 'sign' of Allah (swt) and the ways ofthe prophets', The Qur1an says: And among His Signs is this that He created spouses for you from yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them. We indeed sent messengers before you (0 Mohammad) and We assigned them wives and children. It implies that in Islam, the very basis ofthe marital relationship between husband and wife through which they can enter into sexual relationship is 'love'. Furthermore, Allah (swt) implants 2 II. Vicegerency - Purpose of Life: The very raison d'etre of man's creation according to the Qur'an is the perfonnance ofthe vicegerency of Allah (swt). The Qur1an says: Behold Thy Lord said to the angels: I will create a vicegerent on earth. Hence, any thought and activity of man in Islam, be that sexual or reproductive, should be ultimately related to this purpose of life vicegerency ofAllah (swt). Sexuality and Reproduction: With this briefbackground ofIslamic worldview, it is easier now to look into the Islamic texts on sexuality and reproduction. Sexuality in Islam is not trivialized as man's animalistic function to be tackled by his own whim and fancy. Sexuality is perceived as one of the essential parts of man's life to be regulated and disciplined through the proper guidance. A man and a woman in Islam can enter into sexual relationship only after marriage, which is reckoned as a 'sign' of Allah (swt) and the ways ofthe prophets', The Qur1an says: And among His Signs is this that He created spouses for you from yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them. We indeed sent messengers before you (0 Mohammad) and We assigned them wives and children. It implies that in Islam, the very basis ofthe marital relationship between husband and wife through which they can enter into sexual relationship is 'love'. Furthermore, Allah (swt) implants 2
  • 7. this 'love'in husbandandwife towardseachothersothattheymay live in peaceand harmony. such an Islamic attitudetowards sexuality goes entirely against the mere lusty cravings in man/womanand itssatisfactionthroughlegitimateor illegitimate ways. In Islam,it isthe'love'andthestrongcovenant(nikah)that unite man and woman not 'force' or temporaryarrangements outsidemarriageor cohabitation.Forthisreason,all typei of pre- marital andextramaritalrelationships,fornication,illitit "u*alityare completelycondemnedisIslamandmanis ordainednorro go nearerto adultery TheQur'ansays: Nor comenighto adultery For it is a shameful(deed) And anevil,openingtheroad (to otherevils). Islam thus makes a distinction between sexuality that is constrainedand disciprinedthrough maritarrelationshipand sexuality,which transgressesmorarityand spiritualityandturnsanimalism. Islam does notoverlookthesexuardrivein manbutinstitutionalize it through marriage ro protect man fromimmorality.TheprophetMohammad(pbuh)said: o young men! Thoseamongyouwhocansupportawife shouldmarry for it restrains*y*r -ftor castingt.uir grunces)andpreservesonefromimmorality. Islam is quite sensitivein a[ issuespertainingto marriageandsexuality. As sexuarityoutsidemaniageis iilegTtim"i.,*u.riug*without the properconsentis declaredinvar-id. The rrophetMohammad(pbuh)said: 'A widow shail not bemarrieduntil shebeconsulted,nor shailavirgin be' marrieduntil her consentbeasked;andthata womanrip^ein yearsshail haveherconsenfaskedi" *--"g" andif sherefuses,sheshallnotbemarriedby force., this 'love' in husband and wife towards each other so that they may live in peace and harmony. Such an Islamic attitude towards sexuality goes entirely against the mere lusty cravings in man/woman and its satisfaction through legitimate or illegitimate ways. In Islam, it is the 'love' and the strong covenant (nikah) that unite man and woman not 'force' or temporary arrangements outside marriage or cohabitation. For this reason, all types ofpre- marital and extra marital relationships, fornication, illicit carnality are completely condemned is Islam and man is ordained not to go nearer to adultery. The Qur'an says: Nor come nigh to adultery For it is a shameful (deed) And an evil, opening the road (to other evils). Islam thus makes a distinction between sexuality that is constrained and disciplined through marital relationship and sexuality, which transgresses morality and spirituality and turns animalism. Islam does not overlook the sexual drive in man but institutionalize it through marriage to protect man from immorality. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: o young men! Those among you who can support a wife should marry for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances) and preserves one from immorality. Islam is quite sensitive in all issues pertaining to marriage and sexuality. As sexuality outside marriage is illegitimate, marriage without the proper consent is declared invalid. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: 'A widow shall not be married until she be consulted, nor shall a virgin be, married until her consent be asked; and that a woman ripe in years shall have her consent asked in marriage and if she refuses, she shall not be married by force.' this 'love' in husband and wife towards each other so that they may live in peace and harmony. Such an Islamic attitude towards sexuality goes entirely against the mere lusty cravings in man/woman and its satisfaction through legitimate or illegitimate ways. In Islam, it is the 'love' and the strong covenant (nikah) that unite man and woman not 'force' or temporary arrangements outside marriage or cohabitation. For this reason, all types ofpre- marital and extra marital relationships, fornication, illicit carnality are completely condemned is Islam and man is ordained not to go nearer to adultery. The Qur'an says: Nor come nigh to adultery For it is a shameful (deed) And an evil, opening the road (to other evils). Islam thus makes a distinction between sexuality that is constrained and disciplined through marital relationship and sexuality, which transgresses morality and spirituality and turns animalism. Islam does not overlook the sexual drive in man but institutionalize it through marriage to protect man from immorality. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: o young men! Those among you who can support a wife should marry for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances) and preserves one from immorality. Islam is quite sensitive in all issues pertaining to marriage and sexuality. As sexuality outside marriage is illegitimate, marriage without the proper consent is declared invalid. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: 'A widow shall not be married until she be consulted, nor shall a virgin be, married until her consent be asked; and that a woman ripe in years shall have her consent asked in marriage and if she refuses, she shall not be married by force.'
  • 8. Therefore,marriagein Islam,unlikeradicalfeminismis neitheran imprisonmentfor woman that is thrust or forceduponherasa punishmentnor enslavementthat makeshersubservientto man. Marriageis a covenantof faithandconsentanda bondof loveand concern. Marital relationshipin Islamis neitherpatnarchalandpoliticalnor economicand sexualfor its own sake as againstthecommon perceptionof gender feminists,but moralandspiritual' In fact, husbandand wife complementeachotherin Islamsincehusband provideseconomicandsexualsecurityto hiswife andhischildren and his wife guardsherchastityandherhusband'spossessionsas hermoralobligation TheQur'ansays: Men aretheprotectors And maintainersof women,becauseGod Hasgiventheonesmore(strength) Thanthe other,andbecause They supportthem Fromtheirmeans Thereforetherighteouswomen Are devoutlyobedientandguard In (thehusband's)absence WhatGodwouldhavethemguard. Thus, husbandand wife in Islamcomplementeachotheranddo not competefor dominationandsupremacy.They arefriendsand co-partnersin their co-venture-vicegerencyof Allah(swt). Both enjoy rights and duties towards each other and both have obligations to Allah (swt). This is very clearly statedin the Qur'anicversewhich proclaimsequality in thevery creationof manandwomaq pointingouttheircreationfrom a singlesoul: O mankind, beconsciousof your dutyto your Lord, Who created you from a singlesoul,createdof like nature,her mate,andfrom the two createdandspreadmanymenandwomen;andbemindful Therefore, marriage in Islam, unlike radical feminism is neither an imprisonment for woman that is thrust or forced upon her as a punishment nor enslavement that makes her subservient to man. Marriage is a covenant of faith and consent and a bond of love and concern. Marital relationship in Islam is neither patriarchal and political nor economic and sexual for its own sake as against the common perception of gender feminists, but moral and spiritual. In fact, husband and wife complement each other in Islam since husband provides economic and sexual security to his wife and his children and his wife guards her chastity and her husband's possessions as her moral obligation. The Qur'an says: Men are the protectors And maintainers ofwomen, because God Has given the ones more (strength) Than the other, and because They support them From their means Therefore the righteous women Are devoutly obedient and guard In (the husband's) absence What God would have them guard. Thus, husband and wife in Islam complement each other and do not compete for domination and supremacy. They are friends and co-partners in their co-venture-vicegerency of Allah (8wt). Both enjoy rights and duties towards each other and both have obligations to Allah (swt). This is very clearly stated in the Qur'anic verse which proclaims equality in the very creation qf man and woman, pointing out their creation from a single soul: o mankind, be conscious ofyour duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single soul, created oflike nature, her mate, and from the two created and spread many men and women~ and be mindful 4 Therefore, marriage in Islam, unlike radical feminism is neither an imprisonment for woman that is thrust or forced upon her as a punishment nor enslavement that makes her subservient to man. Marriage is a covenant of faith and consent and a bond of love and concern. Marital relationship in Islam is neither patriarchal and political nor economic and sexual for its own sake as against the common perception of gender feminists, but moral and spiritual. In fact, husband and wife complement each other in Islam since husband provides economic and sexual security to his wife and his children and his wife guards her chastity and her husband's possessions as her moral obligation. The Qur'an says: Men are the protectors And maintainers ofwomen, because God Has given the ones more (strength) Than the other, and because They support them From their means Therefore the righteous women Are devoutly obedient and guard In (the husband's) absence What God would have them guard. Thus, husband and wife in Islam complement each other and do not compete for domination and supremacy. They are friends and co-partners in their co-venture-vicegerency of Allah (8wt). Both enjoy rights and duties towards each other and both have obligations to Allah (swt). This is very clearly stated in the Qur'anic verse which proclaims equality in the very creation qf man and woman, pointing out their creation from a single soul: o mankind, be conscious ofyour duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single soul, created oflike nature, her mate, and from the two created and spread many men and women~ and be mindful 4
  • 9. of -your duty to God by whosenameyouappearto oneanother andto (thetiesof) womb. VerilyGodwitch.jouer you. Even if the sexualsatisfactionis performedby manandwoman while being mindful of its etiqurtti ur ordainedin theeur,anand sunnah, it is reckonedas tbadnh andsadaqah (charity), The ProphetMohammad(pbuh)said. Did Allah not makefor youthatfrom which you can givesadaqdl verily, every time you saysuhhanaAlrah,ihereis Jsadaqua-and for everytime you sayAllahu Akbarthereis asa*qa;- Every time you say Laa irahaiil Ailah, thereis aiadaqaand for lurry timeyou sayAlhamdulillah,thereis asadaqa; t Every act of enjoining.whatis right thereis sacraqaandin every act of forbidding evil there is i sadaqa, and in fo.r, sexual relationsalsothereis asadaqa. Thereuponthecompanionsasked:o Messengerof Alrah!Is there a rewardfor oneof uswhenhesatisfieshissexuardesire? Thg.lpptet replied:Don't you see,had hesatisfieditwiththe forbidden would there not haue6eena sin upon him? The companionssaid:"yes". r$ froghet (pbuh) said: In the sameway,whenhesatisfiesitwith thelawful,thereis for him in thata reward. Tlrus,sexualityis neverperceivedby Isramasa merecarnardesire of man to be fulfilled in anyanimalistic*uy.r tr*ft"ur*r. eutman in Islam is ordainedto folrowcertain.tiq*tt. in hisse*uarrelationshipso that he shourdrememberAllatrtrortl euenuerorethis act and do not fall a prey to thesatanic;;ill ihi, canbeeasily gleaned tkough a careful reading of iew prophetic traditions,eitherpracticedor spokenby himJn thesematters. of your duty to God by Whose name you appeal to one another and to (the ties ot) womb. Verily God watches over you. Even if the sexual satisfaction is perfonned by man and woman while being mindful ofits etiquette as ordained in the Qur'an and Sunnah, it is reckoned as ibadah and sadaqah (charity). The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: Did Allah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa? Verily, every time you say Subhana Allah, there is a sadaqua_and for every time you say Allahu Akbar there is a sadaqa; Every time you say Laa ilaha ill Allah, there is a sadaqa and for every time you say Alhamduli/lah, there is a sadaqa; Every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa and in every act of forbidding evil there is a sadaqa. and in your sexual relations also there is a sadaqa. Thereupon the companions asked: 0 Messenger of Allah! Is there a reward for one ofus when he satisfies his sexual desire? The Prophet replied: Don't you see, had he satisfied it with the forbidden would there not have been a sin upon him? The companions said: "yes". The Prophet (pbuh) said: In the same way, when he satisfies it with the lawful, there is for him in that a reward. Thus, sexuality is never perceived by Islam as a mere carnal desire of man to be fulfilled in any animalistic way as he pleases. But man in Islam is ordained to follow certain etiquette in his sexual relationship so that he should remember Allah (swt) even before this act and do not fall a prey to the Satanic trap. This can be easily gleaned through a careful reading of few Prophetic traditions, either practiced or spoken by him on these matters. 5 of your duty to God by Whose name you appeal to one another and to (the ties ot) womb. Verily God watches over you. Even if the sexual satisfaction is perfonned by man and woman while being mindful ofits etiquette as ordained in the Qur'an and Sunnah, it is reckoned as ibadah and sadaqah (charity). The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: Did Allah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa? Verily, every time you say Subhana Allah, there is a sadaqua_and for every time you say Allahu Akbar there is a sadaqa; Every time you say Laa ilaha ill Allah, there is a sadaqa and for every time you say Alhamduli/lah, there is a sadaqa; Every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa and in every act of forbidding evil there is a sadaqa. and in your sexual relations also there is a sadaqa. Thereupon the companions asked: 0 Messenger of Allah! Is there a reward for one ofus when he satisfies his sexual desire? The Prophet replied: Don't you see, had he satisfied it with the forbidden would there not have been a sin upon him? The companions said: "yes". The Prophet (pbuh) said: In the same way, when he satisfies it with the lawful, there is for him in that a reward. Thus, sexuality is never perceived by Islam as a mere carnal desire of man to be fulfilled in any animalistic way as he pleases. But man in Islam is ordained to follow certain etiquette in his sexual relationship so that he should remember Allah (swt) even before this act and do not fall a prey to the Satanic trap. This can be easily gleaned through a careful reading of few Prophetic traditions, either practiced or spoken by him on these matters. 5
  • 10. It is exhortedthat the husbandshould place his hand on the forelock of herwife at thetime of consummatingthe marriageand prayfor Allah'sblessings.TheProphetMohammad(pbuh)said: When any of you marriesa womanheshouldhold her foreloch mention Allah most high, and pray for His blessingssaying:O Allah, I askYou for the goodin herandthe goodwith which You have createdher;andI seekrefugein You from the evil in herand theevil with which You havecreatedher. Furthermore,accordingto someothertraditions,it is desirableif the husbandpresentsto his wife somethingto drink to show kindness to herandto offer prayertogetherto remaincloselyever after for thegoodandseekrefugein Allah (s.w.t)from the evil. It is alsoevidencedfrom severaltraditionsthat it is commendableto make 'wudhu' (ablution) after sex beforesleepbut obligatoryto takebathaftersexbeforeor aftersleepwheneverpossible. It is quite obvious from the above discussion that senralityin Islam is neither perceived as an objective of life to betotally immersedin it with no othermoralandspiritualconsiderationsnor a beastlyactto befulfilled throu,ghanyway andmeanfor its own sake. Islamdisciplinessexualdesireof manandalsoexpectsfrom him that he should rememberAllah (swt)evenwhilejoining his wife for sexandevenprayto Allah (sw) to protecthis child from evil, if he is granted a child after the sex. It is clearfrom the following prayerandtheProphetictradition: In the name of Allah, O Allah! Keepus awayfrom the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (offspring). TheProphetMohammad(pbuh)said: After that, if Allah decreesthat theywill havea child,thedevil will neverbeableto harmthatchild. It is exhorted that the husband should place his hand on the forelock ofher wife at the time ofconsummating the marriage and pray for Allah's blessings. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: When any of you marries a woman he should hold her forelock, mention Allah most high, and pray for His blessings saying: 0 Allah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her; and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her. Furthermore, according to some other traditions, it is desirable if the husband presents to his wife something to drink to show kindness to her and to offer prayer together to remain closely ever after for the good and seek refuge in Allah (s.w.t) from the evil. It is also evidenced from several traditions that it is commendable to make 'wudhu' (ablution) after sex before sleep but obligatory to take bath after sex before or after sleep whenever possible. It is quite obvious from the above discussion that sexuality in Islam is neither perceived as an objective of life to be totally immersed in it with no other moral and spiritual considerations nor a beastly act to be fulfilled throu,~ any way and mean for its own sake. Islam disciplines sexual desire of man and also expects from him that he should remember Allah (swt) even while joining his wife for sex and even pray to Allah (swt) to protect his child from evil, if he is granted a child after the sex. It is clear from the following prayer and the Prophetic tradition: In the name of Allah, 0 Allah! Keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (offspring). The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child. 6 It is exhorted that the husband should place his hand on the forelock ofher wife at the time ofconsummating the marriage and pray for Allah's blessings. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: When any of you marries a woman he should hold her forelock, mention Allah most high, and pray for His blessings saying: 0 Allah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her; and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her. Furthermore, according to some other traditions, it is desirable if the husband presents to his wife something to drink to show kindness to her and to offer prayer together to remain closely ever after for the good and seek refuge in Allah (s.w.t) from the evil. It is also evidenced from several traditions that it is commendable to make 'wudhu' (ablution) after sex before sleep but obligatory to take bath after sex before or after sleep whenever possible. It is quite obvious from the above discussion that sexuality in Islam is neither perceived as an objective of life to be totally immersed in it with no other moral and spiritual considerations nor a beastly act to be fulfilled throu,~ any way and mean for its own sake. Islam disciplines sexual desire of man and also expects from him that he should remember Allah (swt) even while joining his wife for sex and even pray to Allah (swt) to protect his child from evil, if he is granted a child after the sex. It is clear from the following prayer and the Prophetic tradition: In the name of Allah, 0 Allah! Keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (offspring). The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child. 6
  • 11. It alsoimpliesthatIslamnotonlyenjoinsmanto rememberAllah (swt) before hissexualrelationshipbutalsomakeshim conscious of his responsibilitytowards hisprospectivechirdto protecthim fromthecunningSatan. Family: ParentsObligationsTowardsChildren sexuality, reproduction and children's responsibility are interconnectedin Islam throughaninstitution,family. Familyis consideredas the frrstschoolof childrenwheretheyarenot only nurtured but also taught basic morals and etiquette sothatthe childrencan appreciateIslamicethosandvalues.A stabrefamily will give rise to a stablesocietyanda stablecivilization. All this requiresthat both parentsandchildrenshouldbemindfulof their obligationstowards eachotheralongwith theirrightssothatthey may love and respecteach other. Islamenjoinsits adherentsto love childrenand to be mindfulof theirresponsibilitiestowards themfromtheverybeginningof theirinceptionandevenearlierto it. TheQur'ansays: Andbemindfulof yourdutyto Godin whosenameyou appeal to oneanotherandto thetiesof thewomb. Jhus, Islamemphasizesthatparentsshouldrealizethatthe proper developmentof the child begins 'from themother'swomb itself. FI:l* the parentsshould be concerned abouttheir prospective childfromtheverybeginning. It has been scientifically proved that apregnantwomanshould abstain fromalcoholicdrinksandnarcoticsandavoidtensions.If she fails to consider alr these precautionarymeasures,any complicationin her ownhealthandthatof the "iito in thewom6 canhardlybeprevent:d ft is alsopointedoutthattherelationship betweenthe prospectivemoth*r "nd theprospectivefathershould not be conflict-riddenbecauseit advers*tyuiT*rt,thementaland It also implies that Islam not only enjoins man to remember Allah (swt) before his sexual relationship but also makes him conscious of his responsibility towards his prospective child to protect him from the cunning Satan. Family: Parents Obligations Towards Children Sexuality, reproduction and children's responsibility are interconnected in Islam through an institution, family. Family is considered as the first school ofchildren where they are not only nurtured but also taught basic morals and etiquette so that the children can appreciate Islamic ethos and values. A stable family will give rise to a stable society and a stable civilization. All this requires that both parents and children should be mindful oftheir obligations towards each other along with their rights so that they may love and respect each other. Islam enjoins its adherents to love children and to be mindful oftheir responsibilities towards them from the very beginning oftheir inception and even earlier to it. The Qur'an says: And be mindful ofyour duty to God in whose name you appeal to one another and to the ties ofthe womb. Thus, Islam emphasizes that parents should realize that the proper development of the child begins 'from the mother's womb itself Hence the parents should be concerned about their prospective child from the very beginning. It has been scientifically proved that a pregnant woman should abstain from alcoholic drinks and narcotics and avoid tensions. If she fails to consider all these precautionary measures, any complication in her own health and that ofthe child in the womb can hardly be prevented. It is also pointed out that the relationship between the prospective mother and the prospective father should not be conflict-ridden because it adversely affects the mental and 7 It also implies that Islam not only enjoins man to remember Allah (swt) before his sexual relationship but also makes him conscious of his responsibility towards his prospective child to protect him from the cunning Satan. Family: Parents Obligations Towards Children Sexuality, reproduction and children's responsibility are interconnected in Islam through an institution, family. Family is considered as the first school ofchildren where they are not only nurtured but also taught basic morals and etiquette so that the children can appreciate Islamic ethos and values. A stable family will give rise to a stable society and a stable civilization. All this requires that both parents and children should be mindful oftheir obligations towards each other along with their rights so that they may love and respect each other. Islam enjoins its adherents to love children and to be mindful oftheir responsibilities towards them from the very beginning oftheir inception and even earlier to it. The Qur'an says: And be mindful ofyour duty to God in whose name you appeal to one another and to the ties ofthe womb. Thus, Islam emphasizes that parents should realize that the proper development of the child begins 'from the mother's womb itself Hence the parents should be concerned about their prospective child from the very beginning. It has been scientifically proved that a pregnant woman should abstain from alcoholic drinks and narcotics and avoid tensions. If she fails to consider all these precautionary measures, any complication in her own health and that ofthe child in the womb can hardly be prevented. It is also pointed out that the relationship between the prospective mother and the prospective father should not be conflict-ridden because it adversely affects the mental and 7
  • 12. physical heatth of the prospectivemother and eventually the prospective child. Islam through the above quoted verse empiratically makesit clearthatparentsshouldbemindful of their dutlestowardstheir childrenfrom the very inception' Islam commandsits believersnot only to takecareof the physical upbringing of their childrenbut alsotheir educational,moraland spiritualdevelopment.TheQur'ansays: o you who believe! strive to protectyourselvesandyour wives andchildrenfrom the fire. obviously, the best way of protectingchildrenfrol lhe fire is by providini adequate educationandpropertraining' .More thanthe wealth and thi materialproperty,childrenrequirebesteducation for their real successheie ind in the Hereafter. TheProphet Mohammad(Pbuh)said: Of all that a father cangiveto hischildrenthebestis theirgood educationandtraining- In the contemporaryage, where Muslim Ummah is facing multitudesof intellectualchallenges,theaboveProphetictradition ;."dr gleater focus. Unless childrenarementallywell fedwith proper"educationand skills, they becomeeasily susceptibleto alien culture and lifestyles. Today'schildren are tomorrow's future. The strong foundationof thefutureprospectsof Islamic culture and civilizationdependson strongeducationalfoundation of thechildren.It deemsnecessaryfor themto bewell acquainted of thedominantideologies,aswell as,Islamasthecomprehensive systemof life sothattheyshouldbetherolemodelsin thefuture to takecareof theUmmah'sresponsibilityvis-a-vismankind' The Qu/an teaches its adherentsto pray to Allah (sovt)for their childrenwith theseaspirations-' physical health of the prospective mother and eventually the prospective child. Islam through the above quoted verse emphatically makes it clear that parents should be mindful oftheir duties towards their children from the very inception. Islam commands its believers not only to take care ofthe physical upbringing of their children but also their educational, moral and spiritual development. The Qur'an says: o you who believe! Strive to protect yourselves and your wives and children from the fire. Obviously, the best way ofprotecting children from the fire is by providing adequate education and proper training. More than the wealth and the material property, children require best education for their real success here and in the Hereafter. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: Of all that a father can give to his children the best is their good education and training. In the contemporary age, where Muslim Ummah is facing multitudes of intellectual challenges, the above Prophetic tradition needs greater focus. Unless children are mentally well fed with proper education and skills, they become easily susceptible to alien culture and lifestyles. Today's children are tomorrow's future. The strong foundation ofthe future prospects of Islamic culture and civilization depends on strong educational foundation of the children. It deems necessary for them to be well acquainted of the dominant ideologies, as well as, Islam as the comprehensive system of life so that they should be the role models in the future to take care ofthe Ummah's responsibility vis-a-vis mankind. The Qur'an teaches its adherents to pray to Allah (swt) for their children with these aspirations-. 8 physical health of the prospective mother and eventually the prospective child. Islam through the above quoted verse emphatically makes it clear that parents should be mindful oftheir duties towards their children from the very inception. Islam commands its believers not only to take care ofthe physical upbringing of their children but also their educational, moral and spiritual development. The Qur'an says: o you who believe! Strive to protect yourselves and your wives and children from the fire. Obviously, the best way ofprotecting children from the fire is by providing adequate education and proper training. More than the wealth and the material property, children require best education for their real success here and in the Hereafter. The Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: Of all that a father can give to his children the best is their good education and training. In the contemporary age, where Muslim Ummah is facing multitudes of intellectual challenges, the above Prophetic tradition needs greater focus. Unless children are mentally well fed with proper education and skills, they become easily susceptible to alien culture and lifestyles. Today's children are tomorrow's future. The strong foundation ofthe future prospects of Islamic culture and civilization depends on strong educational foundation of the children. It deems necessary for them to be well acquainted of the dominant ideologies, as well as, Islam as the comprehensive system of life so that they should be the role models in the future to take care ofthe Ummah's responsibility vis-a-vis mankind. The Qur'an teaches its adherents to pray to Allah (swt) for their children with these aspirations-. 8
  • 13. My Lord makemekeepprayerand(also)letmy offspring(do so) Our Lord acceptmy appeal! Our Lord, forgivemy parentsand me. our Lordl Grant usin our spousesandour offspringthecomfort of oureyesandmakeusa modelfor theneedful. It also implies that Islam completelyrejectsthe perceptionof those who look to women and children as burdenor as an oppressedclass. In fact,Islaminspiresmento look attheirwives and childrenasthecomfortersof theireyes,astheirsourceofjoy, peaceand solaceand nota suppressedandoppressedclassto be dominatedandover-powered.Man'sdominationandsuppression of woman and childrengo againsttheveryspiritof Islam,which assertsthat 'commandis only for Allah',notfor man. Thetime when a child is born,theIslamicclarioncalrthat'thereis no god but Allah' is conveyedintohisears,whichimpliesthatheshould submitto nonesaveAllah. Besides,it is arsoevidentfromoneof the traditions that whenevera child in the prophet's (pbuh) householdbeginsto speak,the prophet (pbuh)thoughthimthe second verseof surah al-Furqanwhich gives the messageof Allah's Sovereigntyand the Unity of God (Tawhid). The translationof itsverseis asfollows: He to Whombelongs Thedominionof theheavens And theearth-no son HasHebegotten,norHasHe A partnerin His dominion It isHe Whocreated All things,andorderedthem In dueproportions. so fromtheverybeginning,Islamemphasizesthatchildrenshould be ingrainedwith the Tawhidic messageand that they should willingly submitto nonebutAilah. It dols nothowevermeanthat My Lord make me keep prayer and (also) let my offspring (do so) Our Lord accept my appeal! Our Lord, forgive my parents and me. Our Lord! Grant us in our spouses and our offspring the comfort ofour eyes and make us a model for the needful. It also implies that Islam completely rejects the perception of those who look to women and children as burden or as an oppressed class. In fact, Islam inspires men to look at their wives and children as the comforters oftheir eyes, as their source ofjoy, peace and solace and not a suppressed and oppressed class to be dominated and over-powered. Man's domination and suppression of woman and children go against the very spirit of Islam, which asserts that 'command is only for Allah', not for man. The time when a child is born, the Islamic clarion call that 'there is no god but Allah' is conveyed into his ears, which implies that he should submit to none save Allah. Besides, it is also evident from one of the traditions that whenever a child in the Prophet's (pbuh) household begins to speak, the Prophet (pbuh) thought him the second verse of Surah al-Furqan which gives the message of Allah's Sovereignty and the Unity of God (Tawhid). The translatioJ:l of its verse is as follows: He to Whom belongs The dominion ofthe heavens And the earth- no son Has He begotten, nor Has He A partner in His dominion It is He Who created All things, and ordered them In due proportions. So from the very beginning, Islam emphasizes that children should be ingrained with the Tawhidic message and that they should willingly submit to none but Allah. It does not however mean that 9 My Lord make me keep prayer and (also) let my offspring (do so) Our Lord accept my appeal! Our Lord, forgive my parents and me. Our Lord! Grant us in our spouses and our offspring the comfort ofour eyes and make us a model for the needful. It also implies that Islam completely rejects the perception of those who look to women and children as burden or as an oppressed class. In fact, Islam inspires men to look at their wives and children as the comforters oftheir eyes, as their source ofjoy, peace and solace and not a suppressed and oppressed class to be dominated and over-powered. Man's domination and suppression of woman and children go against the very spirit of Islam, which asserts that 'command is only for Allah', not for man. The time when a child is born, the Islamic clarion call that 'there is no god but Allah' is conveyed into his ears, which implies that he should submit to none save Allah. Besides, it is also evident from one of the traditions that whenever a child in the Prophet's (pbuh) household begins to speak, the Prophet (pbuh) thought him the second verse of Surah al-Furqan which gives the message of Allah's Sovereignty and the Unity of God (Tawhid). The translatioJ:l of its verse is as follows: He to Whom belongs The dominion ofthe heavens And the earth- no son Has He begotten, nor Has He A partner in His dominion It is He Who created All things, and ordered them In due proportions. So from the very beginning, Islam emphasizes that children should be ingrained with the Tawhidic message and that they should willingly submit to none but Allah. It does not however mean that 9
  • 14. they are not. expected to obey their parentsrather Islam enjoins children to be good to their parentswhich shall be discussedlater. Islam also encouragesthat both parents,mother and father should express their utmost love to their children, give them time, play with them and cheer them up through many ways of interaction with them. It is reported that Hadrat Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) who held a high position in the government during the reign of Hadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) once visited the houseof Hadrat Umar (may Allah be pleasedwith him) and was surprised to seethat few children had mounted the chest of Caliph and were engagedin playing. Seeingthe astonishment of Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) the Caliph enquired about his treatment to his children? Upon this, he replied: "Amir ul-Mu'minin, as soon as I enter my house the people of my household are struck with terror and standdumb with fear. On hearing this, the Caliph said: "Amir (may Allah be pleasedwith you) you are a follower of the Holy Prophet (peaceand blessings be upon him) and yet are ignorant of the important injunction that a Muslim should behave towards his familv members with extreme love and deeptenderness." It explicitly reveals that Islam is completely against the despotic and tyrannical attitude of father and male members of the family over wives and children. Islam expects from man a gentlemanly behavior not harsh approach towards his family. The prophet (pbuh) said: The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the bestto my family. The relationship between man and woman in Islam is not therefore the relationship of master and servant but that of garments to each other and also protecting friends of one another. The eur'an says: They are garments for you and you are garments for them. l0 they are not expected to obey their parents rather Islam enjoins children to be good to their parents which shall be discussed later. Islam also encourages that both parents, mother and father should express their utmost love to their children, give them time, play with them and cheer them up through many ways of interaction with them. It is reported that Hadrat Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) who held a high position in the government during the reign of Hadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) once visited the house ofHadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and was surprised to see that few children had mounted the chest of Caliph and were engaged in playing. Seeing the astonishment of Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) the Caliph enquired about his treatment to his children? Upon this, he replied: "Amir ul-Mu'minin, as soon as I enter my house the people of my household are struck with terror and stand dumb with fear. On hearing this, the Caliph said: "Amir (may Allah be pleased with you) you are a follower ofthe Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and yet are ignorant ofthe important injunction that a Muslim should behave towards his family members with extreme love and deep tenderness. " It explicitly reveals that Islam is completely against the despotic and tyrannical attitude of father and male members ofthe family over wives and children. Islam expects from man a gentlemanly behavior not harsh approach towards his family. The Prophet (pbuh) said: The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the best to my family. The relationship between man and woman in Islam is not therefore the relationship of master and servant but that ofgarments to each other and also protecting friends ofone another. The Qur'an says: They are garments for you and you are garments for them. 10 they are not expected to obey their parents rather Islam enjoins children to be good to their parents which shall be discussed later. Islam also encourages that both parents, mother and father should express their utmost love to their children, give them time, play with them and cheer them up through many ways of interaction with them. It is reported that Hadrat Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) who held a high position in the government during the reign of Hadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) once visited the house ofHadrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and was surprised to see that few children had mounted the chest of Caliph and were engaged in playing. Seeing the astonishment of Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) the Caliph enquired about his treatment to his children? Upon this, he replied: "Amir ul-Mu'minin, as soon as I enter my house the people of my household are struck with terror and stand dumb with fear. On hearing this, the Caliph said: "Amir (may Allah be pleased with you) you are a follower ofthe Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and yet are ignorant ofthe important injunction that a Muslim should behave towards his family members with extreme love and deep tenderness. " It explicitly reveals that Islam is completely against the despotic and tyrannical attitude of father and male members ofthe family over wives and children. Islam expects from man a gentlemanly behavior not harsh approach towards his family. The Prophet (pbuh) said: The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the best to my family. The relationship between man and woman in Islam is not therefore the relationship of master and servant but that ofgarments to each other and also protecting friends ofone another. The Qur'an says: They are garments for you and you are garments for them. 10
  • 15. Thus theverybasisof family in Islamarefaith,love,concernand care for eachothersothat it turnsoutto bea civilizing groundfor children. Husbandandwife who live in peaceandlove with each other can concentratewell overtheir childrenandcanbring them up with moralexcellence,besteducationandspiritualorientation. Such children would not only contributetheir potentialities towards the constructionof societyin future,but will remainasa blessing;br their parentseven after the death of theirparents. Parentsof suchchildrenwill continueto enjoytherewardsof their best educationandtraining,whichtheyimpartedto theirchildren. TheProphet(pbuh)said-. The actionsof manceasewith his death.But therearethreedeeds whoserewardandblessingcontinueto reachhim evenafterdeath. One that he should make a sadaqajariah (recurring charity); Secondly,he shouldleave behind a legacy of knowledgefrom which people may continueto derivebenefit; Thirdly, pious offspringwho continuouslyinvokemercyof Allah uponhim. Childrenare the blessingswhich Allah (svw)bestowto parents. But if these children are not educatedandtrainedproperly,they becomenuisanceto the parentsandthe society. Whereas,if the children are adequatelyeducated andtrained,theyshallbecome bearersof Islamic mission, transmittersof Islamicculturein the societyandalsobestrewardsfor theirdeceasedparents. Islamforbidsabortionandinfanticide.TheQur'ansays. Slay notyourchildrenfearingpoverty.We shallprovidefor them andfor you. Lo! Theslayingof themis greatsin. Those who kill their children out of their foolishnessare the greatestlosers. Thus the very basis of family in Islam are faith, love, concern and care for each other so that it turns out to be a civilizing ground for children. Husband and wife who live in peace and love with each other can concentrate well over their children and can bring them up with moral excellence, best education and spiritual orientation. Such children would not only contribute their potentialities towards the construction of society in future, but will remain as a blessing lur their parents even after the death oftheir parents. Parents ofsuch children will continue to enjoy the rewards oftheir best education and training, which they imparted to their children. The Prophet (pbuh) said-. The actions ofman cease with his death. But there are three deeds whose reward and blessing continue to reach him even after death. One that he should make a sadaqa jariah (recurring charity); Secondly, he should leave behind a legacy ofknowledge from which people may continue to derive benefit; Thirdly, pious offspring who continuously invoke mercy ofAllah upon him. Children are the blessings which Allah (swt) bestow to parents. But if these children are not educated and trained properly, they become nuisance to the parents and the society. Whereas, ifthe children are adequately educated and trained, they shall become bearers of Islamic mission, transmitters ofIslamic culture in the society and also best rewards for their deceased parents. Islam forbids abortion and infanticide. The Qur'an says: Slay not your children fearing poverty. We shall provide for them and for you. Lo! The slaying ofthem is great sin. Those who kill their children out of their foolishness are the greatest losers. 11 Thus the very basis of family in Islam are faith, love, concern and care for each other so that it turns out to be a civilizing ground for children. Husband and wife who live in peace and love with each other can concentrate well over their children and can bring them up with moral excellence, best education and spiritual orientation. Such children would not only contribute their potentialities towards the construction of society in future, but will remain as a blessing lur their parents even after the death oftheir parents. Parents ofsuch children will continue to enjoy the rewards oftheir best education and training, which they imparted to their children. The Prophet (pbuh) said-. The actions ofman cease with his death. But there are three deeds whose reward and blessing continue to reach him even after death. One that he should make a sadaqa jariah (recurring charity); Secondly, he should leave behind a legacy ofknowledge from which people may continue to derive benefit; Thirdly, pious offspring who continuously invoke mercy ofAllah upon him. Children are the blessings which Allah (swt) bestow to parents. But if these children are not educated and trained properly, they become nuisance to the parents and the society. Whereas, ifthe children are adequately educated and trained, they shall become bearers of Islamic mission, transmitters ofIslamic culture in the society and also best rewards for their deceased parents. Islam forbids abortion and infanticide. The Qur'an says: Slay not your children fearing poverty. We shall provide for them and for you. Lo! The slaying ofthem is great sin. Those who kill their children out of their foolishness are the greatest losers. 11
  • 16. Thus, abortions,child-abuseandinfanticideareall consideredas heinoussins in Isiam. Islamby its very natureis againstcruelty and barbarity. Any use of contraceptionloop,shield,plasticor anything to cause abortionis forbidden. Evenif abortionis done in seven days,it is unlawful,sincethefertilizedovumis goingto be a human being. However, only on oneconditionabortionis allowed- to savethe life of the mother. It is also importantto point out here that Islam is not against technology, but misuse of technology. For instance, if technological devices help mothers to lessensome of their complicationsduring prenatalperiodandchildbirth Islamhasno objection. But, if the technologicaldevicesarediscoveredand used to let unmarried women or teenagegirls to havebabiesif they wish to, Islam strongly objects it. Similarly, if such contraceptive devices are invented through which unmarried women or teenagegirls canengagein sexualrelationshipswithout becomingpregnant,Islam rejectsit completely.Likewise,Islam conderr.nhigh-tech reproductive aids developed to produce artificial mothers,fathersand children,aswell as,technological way$ andmeansthroughwhich lesbiansandhomosexualsengage in their deviant sexualityto getchildren. In fact,Islamis totally againstall deviantformsof sexuality.TheQur'ansays: Would you reallyapproachmenin your lustsratherthanwomen? Nay,yearea people(grossly)ignorant. Islam, no doubt encouragesman to begetchildren,butthrough rightful meannotby unlawfulact. TheQur'anpointsout howone of the ProphetsHadhrat Zakaia (peacebeupon him) prayedto Allah (swt)for thepiousoffspringevenin a veryold age: Lord! Bestow upon me by Thy bountygoodlyoffspring- Lol Thou arttheHearerof prayer. 12 Thus, abortions, child-abuse and infanticide are all considered as heinous sins in lsiam. Islam by its very nature is against cruelty and barbarity. Any use of contraception loop, shield, plastic or anything to cause abortion is forbidden. Even if abortion is done in seven days, it is unlawful, since the fertilized ovum is going to be a human being. However, only on one condition abortion is allowed - to save the life ofthe mother. It is also important to point out here that Islam is not against technology, but misuse of technology. For instance, if technological devices help mothers to lessen some of their complications during prenatal period and childbirth, Islam has no objection. But, if the technological devices are discovered and used to let unmarried women or teenage girls to have babies if they wish to, Islam strongly objects it. Similarly, if such contraceptive devices are invented through which unmarried women or teenage girls can engage in sexual relationships without becoming pregnant, Islam rejects it completely. Likewise, Islam condemn high-tech reproductive aids developed to produce artificial mothers, fathers and children, as well as, technological ways and means through which lesbians and homosexuals engage in their deviant sexuality to get children. In fact, Islam is totally against all deviant forms of sexuality. The Qur'an says: Would you really approach men in your lusts rather than women? Nay, ye are a people (grossly) ignorant. Islam, no doubt encourages man to beget children, but through rightful mean not by unlawful act. The Qur1an points out how one of the Prophets Hadhrat Zakaria (peace be upon him) prayed to Allah (swt) for the pious offspring even in a very old age: Lord! Bestow upon me by Thy bounty goodly offspring - Lo! Thou art the Hearer of prayer. 12 Thus, abortions, child-abuse and infanticide are all considered as heinous sins in lsiam. Islam by its very nature is against cruelty and barbarity. Any use of contraception loop, shield, plastic or anything to cause abortion is forbidden. Even if abortion is done in seven days, it is unlawful, since the fertilized ovum is going to be a human being. However, only on one condition abortion is allowed - to save the life ofthe mother. It is also important to point out here that Islam is not against technology, but misuse of technology. For instance, if technological devices help mothers to lessen some of their complications during prenatal period and childbirth, Islam has no objection. But, if the technological devices are discovered and used to let unmarried women or teenage girls to have babies if they wish to, Islam strongly objects it. Similarly, if such contraceptive devices are invented through which unmarried women or teenage girls can engage in sexual relationships without becoming pregnant, Islam rejects it completely. Likewise, Islam condemn high-tech reproductive aids developed to produce artificial mothers, fathers and children, as well as, technological ways and means through which lesbians and homosexuals engage in their deviant sexuality to get children. In fact, Islam is totally against all deviant forms of sexuality. The Qur'an says: Would you really approach men in your lusts rather than women? Nay, ye are a people (grossly) ignorant. Islam, no doubt encourages man to beget children, but through rightful mean not by unlawful act. The Qur1an points out how one of the Prophets Hadhrat Zakaria (peace be upon him) prayed to Allah (swt) for the pious offspring even in a very old age: Lord! Bestow upon me by Thy bounty goodly offspring - Lo! Thou art the Hearer of prayer. 12
  • 17. As far as the 'invitro fertilization'(IVF) andtesttubebabiesare concerned,Islam allowsonly if the'ova'comesfromthemother and the 'sperm'fromthefatherandtheembryois transferredinto the uterusof one'sown wife. Any otherusageof the'invitro' fertilization'by anywomanor manwho arenotmarriedwith each other but wouldliketo followthistechnologyis notacceptablein Islam. Islamic stanceon artificial inseminationis also quite clear. It forbids the use of the spermof anyoneother thin that of the husbandto beusedin theprocessof artificialinsemination.such an act tantamountto adultery,fromIslamicperspective,sinceit fallsoutsidethemartialunionof manandwoman. - Obligationsof ChildrenTowardstheir parents: There is a reciprocityof rightsanddutiesin Islam. while parenrs are enjoinedto be mindful of their children for their overall development,childrenarealsoexhortedto beobedientandkindto theirparents. Both parentsandchildrenhavecorrespondingdutiestowardseach other alongwith their rights. Thereareseveraleur'anicverses and Prophetictraditionswhich tkow abundanceirtigtt onthe etiquetteof childrentowardstheirparents.Theeur'ansaiys: Thy Lord hathdecreedthatyeworshipnonesaveHim and(thatye show)kindnessto parents. Islam thusordainedchildrento bekindandgratefulto hisparents. Good conduct towardsparentsis even regardedas a key to paradise.TheProphet(pbuh)said: Your entry into Paradiseor Hell dependsonyourgoodor bad conducttowardsyourparents. As far as the 'invitro fertilization' (IYF) and test tube babies are concerned, Islam allows only ifthe 'ova' comes from the mother and the 'sperm' from the father and the embryo is transferred into the uterus of one's own wife. Any other usage ofthe 'invitro' fertilization' by any woman or man who are not married with each other but would like to follow this technology is not acceptable in Islam. Islamic stance on artificial insemination is also quite clear. It forbids the use of the sperm of anyone other than that of the husband to be used in the process of artificial insemination. Such an act tantamount to adultery, from Islamic perspective, since it falls outside the martial union of man and woman. Obligations of Children Towards their Parents: There is a reciprocity ofrights and duties in Islam. While parents are enjoined to be mindful of their children for their overall development, children are also exhorted to be obedient and kind to their parents. Both parents and children have corresponding duties towards each other along with their rights. There are several Qur'anic verses and Prophetic traditions which throw abundance of light on the etiquette ofchildren towards their parents. The Qur'an says: Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none save Him and (that ye show) kindness to parents. Islam thus ordained children to be kind and grateful to his parents. Good conduct towards parents is even regarded as a key to paradise. The Prophet (pbuh) said: Your entry into Paradise or Hell depends on your good or bad conduct towards your parents. 13 As far as the 'invitro fertilization' (IYF) and test tube babies are concerned, Islam allows only ifthe 'ova' comes from the mother and the 'sperm' from the father and the embryo is transferred into the uterus of one's own wife. Any other usage ofthe 'invitro' fertilization' by any woman or man who are not married with each other but would like to follow this technology is not acceptable in Islam. Islamic stance on artificial insemination is also quite clear. It forbids the use of the sperm of anyone other than that of the husband to be used in the process of artificial insemination. Such an act tantamount to adultery, from Islamic perspective, since it falls outside the martial union of man and woman. Obligations of Children Towards their Parents: There is a reciprocity ofrights and duties in Islam. While parents are enjoined to be mindful of their children for their overall development, children are also exhorted to be obedient and kind to their parents. Both parents and children have corresponding duties towards each other along with their rights. There are several Qur'anic verses and Prophetic traditions which throw abundance of light on the etiquette ofchildren towards their parents. The Qur'an says: Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none save Him and (that ye show) kindness to parents. Islam thus ordained children to be kind and grateful to his parents. Good conduct towards parents is even regarded as a key to paradise. The Prophet (pbuh) said: Your entry into Paradise or Hell depends on your good or bad conduct towards your parents. 13
  • 18. Another tradition of the Prophet (pbuh) also highlights the necessityof fair treatmentto parentsby children: Let that man be disgraced,and disgracedagain andlet him be disgracedeven more. The peopleEnquired:"O Prophetof God (pbuh)who is that man? TheProphetaffrrmed:"I referto the man who finds his parentsold in age- bothof themor oneof them- and yet did not earn entitlementto Paradiseby renderinggood serviceto them. It seemsalsopertinentto point out herethat althoughchildrenare exhorted to be obedient and kind to both parents,a greater emphasisis given for more better treatmentand devotionto mother. This is obviously becauseof hergreatersacrificesand sufferingsfor children. TheQur'ansays: And We havecommandeduntomankindnesstowardsparentsHis mother bearethhim with sufferingbringing forth with suffering, bearinghim andweaningof him in thirty months. Thisis alsoillustratedthroughvruiousProphetictraditions: I enjoinmanabouthismother. I enjoinmanabouthismother. I enjoinmanabouthismother. I enjoinmanabouthisfather. Thus motherhood in Islam is not discardedas a burden,a stumblingblockfor woman'sdevelopment,a sourceof oppression and suppression. It is lookeduponwith respectandhonorandis consideredas a blessingfrom Allah (swt) to man. Motherly affectionand care deemsindispensablefor theproperupbringing of childrenalongwith father'saffectionandconcern.Motherhood is regardedasanessentialinstitutionfor humancivilization. Another tradition of the Prophet (pbuh) also highlights the necessity of fair treatment to parents by children: Let that man be disgraced, and disgraced again and let him be disgraced even more. The people Enquired: "0 Prophet ofGod (pbuh) who is that man? The Prophet affirmed: "l refer to the man who finds his parents old in age - both ofthem or one ofthem - and yet did not earn entitlement to Paradise by rendering good service to them. It seems also pertinent to point out here that although children are exhorted to be obedient and kind to both parents, a greater emphasis is given for more better treatment and devotion to mother. This is obviously because of her greater sacrifices and sufferings for children. The Qur'an says: And We have commanded unto man kindness towards parents His mother beareth him with suffering bringing forth with suffering, bearing him and weaning of him in thirty months. This is also illustrated through various Prophetic traditions: I enjoin man about his mother. I enjoin man about his mother. I enjoin man about his mother. I enjoin man about his father. Thus motherhood in Islam is not discarded as a burden, a stumbling block for woman's development, a source ofoppression and suppression. It is looked upon with respect and honor al)d is considered as a blessing from Allah (swt) to man. Motherly affection and care deems indispensable for the proper upbringing of children along with father's affection and concern. Motherhood is regarded as an essential institution for human civilization. 14 Another tradition of the Prophet (pbuh) also highlights the necessity of fair treatment to parents by children: Let that man be disgraced, and disgraced again and let him be disgraced even more. The people Enquired: "0 Prophet ofGod (pbuh) who is that man? The Prophet affirmed: "l refer to the man who finds his parents old in age - both ofthem or one ofthem - and yet did not earn entitlement to Paradise by rendering good service to them. It seems also pertinent to point out here that although children are exhorted to be obedient and kind to both parents, a greater emphasis is given for more better treatment and devotion to mother. This is obviously because of her greater sacrifices and sufferings for children. The Qur'an says: And We have commanded unto man kindness towards parents His mother beareth him with suffering bringing forth with suffering, bearing him and weaning of him in thirty months. This is also illustrated through various Prophetic traditions: I enjoin man about his mother. I enjoin man about his mother. I enjoin man about his mother. I enjoin man about his father. Thus motherhood in Islam is not discarded as a burden, a stumbling block for woman's development, a source ofoppression and suppression. It is looked upon with respect and honor al)d is considered as a blessing from Allah (swt) to man. Motherly affection and care deems indispensable for the proper upbringing of children along with father's affection and concern. Motherhood is regarded as an essential institution for human civilization. 14
  • 19. As discussedabove,Islamattachesgreatimportanceto themutual Iove and concern for eachotherin the family. As fatheris asked to prayto Allah (swt)to bringin hiswife andchildrencomfortfor his eyes, childrenare exhortedto show glancesof love and devotionto parents.TheProphet(pbuh)said: "The pious offspring who castesa singlelook of affectionat his parentsreceivesa reward from God equal to therewardof an acceptedHajj." Thepeoplesubmitted:"O Prophetof Allah (peace be uponyou),if someonecastsa hundredsuchglancesof loveand affection at his parents,what then?"TheProphetreplied:"yes, indeed,even if one does so a hundredtimea day,hewill geta hundredfold reward. Godis far greaterthanyou imagineandis completelyfreefrom pettynarrowmindedness. Childrenarealsoexhortedto prayfor their parents; O, our Lord! Grantforgivenessto my parentsandmeandpardon all the faithful on theDay of Reckoning. FewObservationson theAboveDiscussion: I sexuality,reproductionandparentsandchildrenrelationshipin the family are all perceivedin Islam as naturaland essential aspects of man's life and are not separatedfrom the whole Tawhidic frameworkof life andthought. Man is alwaysreminded to be mindful of Allah'sguidanceall throughtheserelationships whethersexualor parental. 2 sexuality and reproduction outside marriageare rejected downright and consideredunlawful, no matterall technological devicesmakethempossibleoutsidemarriage. I A loving, devoted, peacefuland harmoniousrelationship between husband and wife is greatly emphasized. Man,s domination and woman'ssubservienceto man are completely l 5 As discussed above, Islam attaches great importance to the mutual love and concern for each other in the family. As father is asked to pray to Allah (swt) to bring in his wife and children comfort for his eyes, children are exhorted to show glances of love and devotion to parents. The Prophet (pbuh) said: liThe pious offspring who castes a single look ofaffection at his parents receives a reward from God equal to the reward ofan accepted Hajj.1I The people submitted: 110 Prophet ofAllah (peace be upon you), if someone casts a hundred such glances of love and affection at his parents, what then?1I The Prophet replied: IIYes, indeed, even if one does so a hundred time a day, he will get a hundred fold reward. God is far greater than you imagine and is completely free from petty narrow mindedness. Children are also exhorted to pray for their parents: 0, our Lord! Grant forgiveness to my parents and me and pardon all the faithful on the Day ofReckoning. Few Observations on the Above Discussion: 1. Sexuality, reproduction and parents and children relationship in the family are all perceived in Islam as natural and essential aspects of man's life and are not separated from the whole Tawhidic framework of life and thought. Man is always reminded to be mindful of Allah's guidance all through these relationships whether sexual or parental. 2. Sexuality and reproduction outside marriage are rejected downright and considered unlawful, no matter all technological devices make them possible outside marriage. 3. A loving, devoted, peaceful and harmonious relationship between husband and wife is greatly emphasized. Man's domination and woman's subservience to man are completely 15 As discussed above, Islam attaches great importance to the mutual love and concern for each other in the family. As father is asked to pray to Allah (swt) to bring in his wife and children comfort for his eyes, children are exhorted to show glances of love and devotion to parents. The Prophet (pbuh) said: liThe pious offspring who castes a single look ofaffection at his parents receives a reward from God equal to the reward ofan accepted Hajj.1I The people submitted: 110 Prophet ofAllah (peace be upon you), if someone casts a hundred such glances of love and affection at his parents, what then?1I The Prophet replied: IIYes, indeed, even if one does so a hundred time a day, he will get a hundred fold reward. God is far greater than you imagine and is completely free from petty narrow mindedness. Children are also exhorted to pray for their parents: 0, our Lord! Grant forgiveness to my parents and me and pardon all the faithful on the Day ofReckoning. Few Observations on the Above Discussion: 1. Sexuality, reproduction and parents and children relationship in the family are all perceived in Islam as natural and essential aspects of man's life and are not separated from the whole Tawhidic framework of life and thought. Man is always reminded to be mindful of Allah's guidance all through these relationships whether sexual or parental. 2. Sexuality and reproduction outside marriage are rejected downright and considered unlawful, no matter all technological devices make them possible outside marriage. 3. A loving, devoted, peaceful and harmonious relationship between husband and wife is greatly emphasized. Man's domination and woman's subservience to man are completely 15
  • 20. rejected. Men and women complement each other and not compete against each other. Islamic family system is neither patriarchalnor matriarchal,ratherconsultational,shura-based. 4. An affectionate,cordial, intimate and a deeper relationship betweenparentsandchildrenis stronglyupheldin Islam. A stable family of caring parents and devoted childrenis expectedfor a bettersocietyanda healthiercivilization. Conclusion: We cannotafficrdto becomplacentandtakecomfort in theIslamic theoriesof senrality, reproductioq husbandandwife relationship and parents and childrtn relationship which are based on the Qu/anic injunctions and Prophetictraditionsunlesswe seethese theoriesareput into Practice. For instance,it is generallyfoundout thatthe relationshippatterns between husbandandwife andbetweenpafentsandchildreneven in some Muslim societiesarealsonot satisfactory.Broadlythere arethreeproblems: L Men tend to keep a despoticattitude towards women and children. There is a big communication gapbetweenthe male membersandfemalesandchildren. Men expectfrom womenonly familial serviceof cooking,cleaningandchildrencare. Exchange of thoughts and ideas on any problem of the outsideworld, of Muslim Ummah, of intellectual or of any other field is almost absent. Insteadof a loving andcaringenvironment,a fearfuland tensedenvironmentprevails in the housebecausemenusually maintain distancefrom women and children as a mark of their artificial honor. This sort of honorsometimeseventurnsto be horrific among other family membersand distorts all sorts of relationships. Although it goes againstIslamic injunctionsas describedabove, sometimesevena religioushalois attachedto it l 6 rejected. Men and women complement each other and not compete against each other. Islamic family system is neither patriarchal nor matriarchal, rather consultational, shura-based. 4. An affectionate, cordial, intimate and a deeper relationship between parents and children is strongly upheld in Islam. A stable family of caring parents and devoted children is expected for a better society and a healthier civilization. Conclusion: We cannot afford to be complacent and take comfort in the Islamic theories of sexuality, reproduction, husband and wife relationship and parents and children relationship which are based on the Qur'anic injunctions and Prophetic traditions unless we see these theories are put into practice. For instance, it is generally found out that the relationship patterns between husband and wife and between parents and children even in some Muslim societies are also not satisfactory. Broadly there are three problems: 1. Men tend to keep a despotic attitude towards women and children. There is a big communication gap between the male members and females and children. Men expect from women only familial service ofcooking, cleaning and children care. Exchange of thoughts and ideas on any problem of the outside world, of Muslim Ummah, of intellectual or of any other field is almost absent. Instead ofa loving and caring environment, a fearful and tensed environment prevails in the house because men usually maintain distance from women and children as a mark oftheir artificial honor. This sort of honor sometimes even turns to be horrific among other family members and distorts all sorts of relationships. Although it goes against Islamic injunctions as described above, sometimes even a religious halo is attached to it 16 rejected. Men and women complement each other and not compete against each other. Islamic family system is neither patriarchal nor matriarchal, rather consultational, shura-based. 4. An affectionate, cordial, intimate and a deeper relationship between parents and children is strongly upheld in Islam. A stable family of caring parents and devoted children is expected for a better society and a healthier civilization. Conclusion: We cannot afford to be complacent and take comfort in the Islamic theories of sexuality, reproduction, husband and wife relationship and parents and children relationship which are based on the Qur'anic injunctions and Prophetic traditions unless we see these theories are put into practice. For instance, it is generally found out that the relationship patterns between husband and wife and between parents and children even in some Muslim societies are also not satisfactory. Broadly there are three problems: 1. Men tend to keep a despotic attitude towards women and children. There is a big communication gap between the male members and females and children. Men expect from women only familial service ofcooking, cleaning and children care. Exchange of thoughts and ideas on any problem of the outside world, of Muslim Ummah, of intellectual or of any other field is almost absent. Instead ofa loving and caring environment, a fearful and tensed environment prevails in the house because men usually maintain distance from women and children as a mark oftheir artificial honor. This sort of honor sometimes even turns to be horrific among other family members and distorts all sorts of relationships. Although it goes against Islamic injunctions as described above, sometimes even a religious halo is attached to it 16
  • 21. for which reason women and children could hardly express themselvesandbecomevictims of horror. z- ln some cases,women arealoneexpectedto take overall the responsibilitiesof children and men completelyexemptfrom it. For thebettereducationalupbringingof chi-ldren,bottrmotherand father require to play their important roles. In thosefamilies where women are hardly educated,it becomesall the more problematicfor childrento getpropereducationalfeedback. whereas in some cases,where both parents are educatedand working, again childrenbecomethevictims sincethey do not get proper attention from their parents.Men claim thatihey aretoo busy andwomenblamemenfor non-co-operationin house-chores and claim that they areover-burdenedwith doubleworkloadand tend to neglectchildren. children feelthat they arealienatedfrom both parents. 3. Due to lack of mutualunderstandingandconfidenceon each otheq the relationshipsbetween husbandandwife growstensed and sometimesgivesriseto divorce. children of divorcedparents turn out to beaggressiveandanti-social. for which reason women and children could hardly express themselves and become victims ofhorror. 2. In some cases, women are alone expected to take over all the responsibilities of children and men completely exempt from it. For the better educational upbringing ofchildren, both mother and father require to play their important roles. In those families where women are hardly educated, it becomes all the more problematic for children to get proper educational feedback. Whereas in some cases, where both parents are educated and working, again children become the victims since they do not get proper attention from their parents. Men claim that they are too busy and women blame men for non-eo-operation in house-chores and claim that they are over-burdened with double workload and tend to neglect children. Children feel that they are alienated from both parents. 3. Due to lack of mutual understanding and confidence on each other, the relationships between husband and wife grows tensed and sometimes gives rise to divorce. Children ofdivorced parents tum out to be aggressive and anti-social. 17 for which reason women and children could hardly express themselves and become victims ofhorror. 2. In some cases, women are alone expected to take over all the responsibilities of children and men completely exempt from it. For the better educational upbringing ofchildren, both mother and father require to play their important roles. In those families where women are hardly educated, it becomes all the more problematic for children to get proper educational feedback. Whereas in some cases, where both parents are educated and working, again children become the victims since they do not get proper attention from their parents. Men claim that they are too busy and women blame men for non-eo-operation in house-chores and claim that they are over-burdened with double workload and tend to neglect children. Children feel that they are alienated from both parents. 3. Due to lack of mutual understanding and confidence on each other, the relationships between husband and wife grows tensed and sometimes gives rise to divorce. Children ofdivorced parents tum out to be aggressive and anti-social. 17
  • 22. References: l. For a comprehensiveand convincing study-o_nIslam asthe complete wai of life, see various books of Syed Abul Ala Mawdudi ruih as - Islamic Way of Life, Lahore Islamic publications, 1992; see also Let usbeMuslims,Kuala Lumpur, The Islamic Foundation, A.S' Noordeen' l99l' For a contemporaryperspective on Islarq seeMohammadAhmedullah siddiqi' (ed),'Islam-. A ContemporaryPerspective,chicago, NAAMPS Publication,1994. 2,. see Ismaiel Raji al-Faruqi, Tawhid: Its Implications for if,ougf,r and Life, Herndon" IiIT, 1982;MohammadNejatullah Siddi[ui, Tawhid- The Concept and the Process,in Khurshid Ahmed andZafarIshaqAnsared.,IslamicPerspectivesStudiesin Honor of sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi, Leicester' Islamic Foundation,1979,PP.l 7-33. 3. Al-Qur'an 2:30; For a concreteunderstandingof theuniversal mission:aryrole oi a Muslim, see Sayyed A!u! Ala Mawdudi' WitnessuntoMankind,Leicester,IslamicFoundation'1995' 4. Al-Qur'an30:21 5.Al-Qur'anl3:38. 6. Al-Qur'an4-.21. 7. Al-Qut'an l7-.3?3-l seealsoMohammedAbdurRauf,Islamic View of Woman and the Family, Chicago' Kazi Publications,1996. L Sahihat-Muslinr,chapter,TheBook of Marriage'Ha IE References: 1. For a comprehensive and convincing study on Islam as the complete way of life, see various books of Syed Abul Ala Mawdudi such as - Islamic Way of Life, Lahore Islamic Publications, 1992; see also Let uS be Muslims, Kuala Lumpur, The Islamic Foundation, A.S. Noordeen, 1991. For a contemporary perspective on Islam, see Mohammad Ahmedullah Siddiqi (ed.), Islam-. A Contemporary Perspective, Chicago, NAA1.1PS Publication, 1994. 2. See Ismaiel Raji al-Faruqi, Tawhid: Its Implications for Thought and Life, Herndon, lIIT, 1982; Mohammad Nejatullah Siddiqui, Tawhid- The Concept and the Process, in Khurshid Ahmed and Zafar Ishaq Ansar ed., Islamic Perspectives Studies in Honor of Sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi, Leicester, Islamic Foundation, 1979, pp. 17-33. 3. Al-Qur'an 2:30~ For a concrete understanding ofthe universal missionary role of a Muslim, see Sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi, Witness unto Mankind, Leicester, Islamic Foundation, 1995 . 4. Al-Qur'an 30:21 5. Al-Qur'an 13:38. 6. Al-Qur'an 4-.21. 7. Al-Quran 17-.323-1 see also Mohammed Abdur Rauf, Islamic View of Woman and the Family, Chicago, Kazi Publications, 1996. 8. Sahih ai-Muslim, chapter, The Book ofMarriage, Ha 18 References: 1. For a comprehensive and convincing study on Islam as the complete way of life, see various books of Syed Abul Ala Mawdudi such as - Islamic Way of Life, Lahore Islamic Publications, 1992; see also Let uS be Muslims, Kuala Lumpur, The Islamic Foundation, A.S. Noordeen, 1991. For a contemporary perspective on Islam, see Mohammad Ahmedullah Siddiqi (ed.), Islam-. A Contemporary Perspective, Chicago, NAA1.1PS Publication, 1994. 2. See Ismaiel Raji al-Faruqi, Tawhid: Its Implications for Thought and Life, Herndon, lIIT, 1982; Mohammad Nejatullah Siddiqui, Tawhid- The Concept and the Process, in Khurshid Ahmed and Zafar Ishaq Ansar ed., Islamic Perspectives Studies in Honor of Sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi, Leicester, Islamic Foundation, 1979, pp. 17-33. 3. Al-Qur'an 2:30~ For a concrete understanding ofthe universal missionary role of a Muslim, see Sayyed Abul Ala Mawdudi, Witness unto Mankind, Leicester, Islamic Foundation, 1995 . 4. Al-Qur'an 30:21 5. Al-Qur'an 13:38. 6. Al-Qur'an 4-.21. 7. Al-Quran 17-.323-1 see also Mohammed Abdur Rauf, Islamic View of Woman and the Family, Chicago, Kazi Publications, 1996. 8. Sahih ai-Muslim, chapter, The Book ofMarriage, Ha 18