Children may experience stress from changes in their family structure like divorce through fear of abandonment, loss of attachment with a parent, and hostility between parents. A child grieving the divorce may go through shock, denial, and anger as a natural process of restoring self-confidence. Older children between ages 9-12 may feel anger, loneliness, shock, surprise, and fear and potentially reject one parent. Maintaining knowledgeable, experienced, and involved parenting can help children cope practically with divorce. The longer and more conflictual the legal divorce proceedings, the worse the relationship between co-parents may be perceived by both parents.

4. Children may experience
stress from:
Change
Fear of Abandonment
Loss of Attachment
Hostility between Parents

5. A child may
grieve

7. Shock
Denial
Anger

10. A natural process
Restoration of self-confidence

14. Anger
Loneliness
Shock
Surprise
Fear
Reject one
parent
AGES 9-12

20. Practical Coping
Strategies

21. Mutual parental support

26. … and maintain
KNOWLEDGABLE,
experienced,
INVOVLED and
authoritative
parenting.8

28. “The longer and
more conflictual
the legal
proceedings, the
worse the
co-parental
relationship in
the view of both
parents.8”

30. • Counselors
• American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
• Family Nursing Collaborative
• Divorce Care:
http://www.divorcecare.org/findagroup
• Divorce support:
http://divorcesupport.meetup.com/

32. http://www.divorcedhappilyeverafter.com/

34. http://www.dc4k.org/
“Help your child heal
from the pain of
divorce.2”
Groups across the US, Canada, the
UK, New Zealand, Australia and
South Africa.
This group aims to help your children:
• Learn to understand their feelings
• Express their emotions appropriately
• Feel better about themselves
• Develop coping skills
• Be introduced to biblical concepts that
will bring comfort

35. “Children who blame themselves and have misconceptions or
inaccurate attributions about the divorce have been shown to
have more difficulties.4”
“Preventive interventions that focus on building effective
coping styles, ,
,
have been shown to relate to better
adjustment in school-aged children. 4”

36. Active coping that
involves problem
solving and positive
thinking predicted
lower depression in
children and
alleviates the effects
of stress on children’s
conduct problems.4

37. One child-focused intervention in an evidence based article is the
Children of Divorce Intervention Program (CODIP), a preventative
school-based intervention founded on “theories of the prevention of
social and emotional difficulties and
research on factors predicting risk
and resilience in children in the
aftermath of divorce. 4”
http://www.childrensinstitute.net
/programs/codip
This is an award winning program since it’s development in 1982. The
CODIP has helped thousands of children in countries around the
world, including the United States, Canada, New Zealand, and
Australia cope more effectively with parental divorce.

39. 1

42. References
1. Burr, W. R. (1990). Beyond I-Statements in Family Communication. Family Relations , Vol.
39, No. 3, pp. 266-273.
2. DivorceCare for Kids (2013,April 23). Retrieved from http://www.dc4k.org/
3. Marlene Clay (2013, April 23). Divorce Happily Ever After. Retrieved from
http://www.divorcedhappilyeverafter.com/
4. Pedro-Carroll, J. (2001). The promotion of wellness in children and families: Challenges
and opportunities. American Psychologist, 56(11), 993-1004. doi:10.1037/0003-
066X.56.11.993

43. 5. Stambaugh, S. E., Hector, M. A., & Carr, A. R. (2011). How I Remember My Parents'
Divorce: A Phenomenological Investigation. Issues In Mental Health
Nursing, 32(2), 121-130.
doi:http://dx.doi.org.libproxy.unh.edu/10.3109/01612840.2010.531520
6. Warner, H. L., Mahoney, A., & Krumrei, E. J. (2009). When parents break sacred vows:
The role of spiritual appraisals, coping, and struggles in young adults’
adjustment to parental divorce. Psychology Of Religion And Spirituality, 1(4),
233-248. doi:10.1037/a0016787
7. Weston, F. (2009). Effects of divorce or parental separation on children. British
School of Nursing, 4(5), 237-243. CINAHL Plus with Full Text
8. Wright, L. & Leahey, M. (2005). Nurses and Families: A Guide to Family
Assessment and Intervention. Philadelphia: F.A. Davis Company