1. FNBE JAN 2013 -
Effective Public Communication
[FCOM 0102]
TOH CHEE CHENG 0311122
Effective Public Communication [FCOM 0102]
Assignment 1
(Question 3 )
Toh Chee Cheng (0311122)

2. FNBE JAN 2013 -
Effective Public Communication
[FCOM 0102]
TOH CHEE CHENG 0311122
Question 3:
Families are groups characterized by ongoing interdependence with long-term
commitments that stem from blood, law, or affection. While this is true, families often go
through conflict when the children are in their adolescent years. Explain how conflicts at
this stage can be resolved and illustrate your ideas with some possible examples and
scenarios.
Interpersonal relationship exists between people who are interdependent, just like family
members. Family refers to people who have long-term commitment to us that stem from blood,
law or affection. Even though, the most intimate family will have conflicts. For instances,
conflict between husband and wife, siblings, parents and children. Amongst all of the conflict
categories, the conflicts between parents and children is said to be the most critical. Adolescence
is a term used to describe the transition stage between childhood and adulthood. There is no
scientific set age of adolescence, but usually adolescence refers to people between the ages of 11
to 24. A research indicate that, parent-child conflicts are the results of child noncompliance to
parental request, child‟s perception of their social control, while during adolescent, personal
control and also the larger issues such as trust and commitment between parents and children.
This shows that parent-child conflicts operate in bidirectional manner. (Canary, Cupach, &
Messman, 1995) Parents should pay more attention on their adult children because the mental
development during the adolescent year is considered unstable due to the hormone fluctuation.
This may causes them to be susceptible by external influence which might mislead them to the
astray. This is at worst if they do not have strong and close ties with their family members

3. FNBE JAN 2013 -
Effective Public Communication
[FCOM 0102]
TOH CHEE CHENG 0311122
especially parents. So, the conflicts arise between parents and children should be resolve once it
is indicated. Conflicts at this stage can be resolved by few methods by adopting collaborating
concept, negotiation and effective listening.
Conflicts take place between family members and adolescences can actually resolve by
adopting collaborating concept. In collaborating, a person focus on self and other person‟s
needs, so it is the ideal way to solve conflicts between family members and adolescences.
Parents should respect their children‟s point of view if it is considerable and try not to control
over them. Adolescences started to grow maturely, they view themselves as an individual that
need to be more independent. Thus, they often began to make decision on their own. For
example, Adam is an 18- year- old Sijil Pengajian Malaysia ( SPM ) leaver, he wanted to take
Psychology course in his tertiary studies, which he has strong interest towards Psychology field.
In order to understand more on Psychology field, he did research thoroughly to collect sufficient
information regarding the course syllabus, universities, career prospects and job scope of the
Psychology graduation. After that, he informed his father about his decision. At first, his father
unsupported him. His father wanted Adam to take Biology course, so that Adam could be a
successful Biologist like him in the future, although he knew Adam dislike Biology. At this
point, Adam did not give up, he tried to convince his father to change his father‟s opinion by
telling his father about the researched outcome he gained with determination and mature definite
view. Finally, his father decided to respect Adam‟s decision. His father was very proud of his
son as he has attached importance in his future. He was glad that Adam was willing to discuss
his future with him. As a conclusion, the rational of both father and son has prevented conflict
from further arising.

4. FNBE JAN 2013 -
Effective Public Communication
[FCOM 0102]
TOH CHEE CHENG 0311122
Next, conflicts at this stage can also be settled by negotiation. There are six steps in the
negotiation process. First of all is analyzing the negotiation situation. This can be illustrated by
a case. Mr. Leong, father of a rebellious 16- year- old teenager, Louis, wanted to negotiate with
his son whereby his son wanted to quit school as he is not interested in studying. He thinks that
studying is just wasting his time. Second step is planning for the upcoming negotiation. Mr.
Leong tries to stop his son from quitting school by negotiation. Third step, organizing. Mr.
Leong planned to talk to his son in the morning after his son had his breakfast, because he might
have a calm mood during the moment, so he is more willing to listen. Forth step, gaining and
maintaining control. Mr. Leong talked with moderate tone to his son at dining room. He
persuaded Louis to continue his studies as he is still young and immature, the community life is
tougher and complicated than he thought. However, Louis refuse to listen to his father, so Mr.
Leong explained to his son patiently about why he is not suitable to quit school at his age and
letting his son knows the benefits of studies. Here come to the fifth step, closing the negotiation.
After some times, Louis began to accept his father‟s persuasion. When the negotiation is over,
Mr. Leong flash back whether he has been express all his point as continuous improvement of
negotiation.
Furthermore, listening also plays an important role in resolving conflicts between family
members and teenagers. Conflicts usually occur from the listening stage. This is because family
members often interrupt before the children finish their thought, family members have
formulated a reply while the person is still speaking or parents do not pay attention while their
children are talking. Failure of listening can lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication
problems. For example, Uncle Desmond had brought T- shirts from Thailand as souvenirs for

5. FNBE JAN 2013 -
Effective Public Communication
[FCOM 0102]
TOH CHEE CHENG 0311122
me and my sisters. I told him that, we can find T- shirts in any shopping complex. But, before I
finish my speech, the adults around me had scolded me and said that I got no manner and I do
not appreciate the gift. In fact, I just want to tell my uncle that T-shirt can be found anywhere,
next time he can save the money up for other usage. At last, I did not say anything but walk
away because I felt so wronged. Thus, listening problems can actually fix if the correct listening
skills are adopted. Listening involves hearing, paying attention, understanding and
remembering. If the adult could listen until I finish my speech, pay more attention to the details I
have spoken, try to understand the messages I brought up in my speech and the attitude when I
am speaking, at last remember my motive, things could be turn out better. As a conclusion, pay
attention to the person who speaking can improve listening. Meanwhile, prevent and resolve
conflicts between family members.
Last but not least, there is a proverb, ”blood is thicker than water” written by Heinrich
der Glîchezære in 'Reynard the Fox', epic 'Reinhart Fuchs', best describe the bonds of family
with common ancestry than those bonds between unrelated people. Home is a safety haven.
„Home‟ can only considered as a „home‟ when there is existence of family members. Parents are
just like our back- up team, they are always there to support us, accompany us and will never left
us when we are be in trouble. They provide warmness and they are always willing to listen our
thoughts as long as we share it. They will concern about our feelings, comfort us when we are
depressed. There is a Chinese saying: “A person who lives to a hundred keeps his parents
worried for 99 years”. Parents will do all sort of things for their children. In my opinion, we
should communicate with parents more, respect them, and try not to do things that will break
their hearts. Treasure every moment with them, appreciate their selfless dedication for us, their

6. FNBE JAN 2013 -
Effective Public Communication
[FCOM 0102]
TOH CHEE CHENG 0311122
lovely children. Finally, practice collaborating communication, negotiation and effective
listening to resolve conflicts and improve parent-child relationship.

7. FNBE JAN 2013 -
Effective Public Communication
[FCOM 0102]
TOH CHEE CHENG 0311122
Bibliography
Adolescent Family Life Self-Directed Module. (n.d.). Retrieved May 3, 2013, from Office Of
Population Affairs:
http://www.hhs.gov/opa/familylife/tech_assistance/etraining/adolescent_brain/Overview/what_is
_adolescence/
Canary, D. J., Cupach, W. R., & Messman, S. J. (1995). Relationship Conflict. United State of
America: Sage Publications.
Jason. (2012, May 11). As I See It. Retrieved May 9, 2013, from Blogspot:
http://jasonyng.blogspot.com/2012/05/ninety-nine-years-of-worry.html
Martin, C. P. (2011, July 25). Handling Conflict With Your Adult Child. Retrieved May 9, 2013,
from Value Options:
https://www.achievesolutions.net/achievesolutions/en/Content.do?contentId=3106
Romer, D., & Walker, E. (2007). Adolescent Psychopathology and The Developing Brian. New
York: Oxford University Press.
Tubbs S.L. & Moss.S. (2003) Human Communication: Principles and Contexts, (11th ed.)
Boston: McGraw
Varty, K. (2000). Reynard the Fox. United State: British Library Cataloguing.
Yian, G. S. (2008, February 10). Set The World A Fire. Retrieved May 2, 2013, from
blog.yam.com: http://blog.yam.com/coollfy/article/13802721