1.Strengthen personal integrity
2.Practice filial piety
3.Cultivate respect and appreciation for the opposite sex
4.Practice being a true friend
5.Deepen the heart through service
6.Maintain sexual purity
1.Clear sense of moral values
2.Living up to one’s moral convictions
3.Self-discipline and delayed gratification
Love and honor one’s parents
Cultivation of loyalty
Springboard to all forms of love
1.Relate to them as siblings or close relatives
2.Respect gender qualities
Within family and friends
Show modesty in attitude and appearance
1.Practice loyalty, cooperation, support and honesty
2.Make friends with various people of good character
Different personalities
Elder and younger
Male and female
1.Sexual compulsions
2.Poor relationships with elders and friends
Opportunities to learn about giving and selflessness
To give is to receive
Love involves effort
1.Essential to maturity
2.Positive, practical, achievable lifestyle
1.Recognize how one is possibly being manipulated
2.Maintain self-respect and self-control to resist stimulation
3.Know how to handle an emotional situation
“ If you loved me you would let me”
“ I know you really want to”
“ Everybody is doing it”
“ If you loved me, you would not push me”
“ Yes - with my future spouse”
“ Not me”
Moral conviction is most important
Cultivates empathy
Fosters sense of self worth
Sharpens relational and parenting skills
Broadens base of friendship
Large numbers are making the commitment to save sex until marriage
1.Opportunity to regain a sense of self-worth
2.Best option for those disillusioned with premarital sex
The pure relationship of love between a man and a woman is a sacred trust to be cherished and honored, for the sake of building a true family, a healthy nation, and a world of peace.
Once that love is consummated, it should never be broken.
1.Stimulates selfishness
2. Creates possessiveness
3. Inhibits communication
1.If married later, greater likelihood of divorce
2.Increased conflict and poorer communication
3.Greater risk of violence to women
7 times the risk of assault by boy friends than by husbands
Source: National Crime Victimization Survey, US Department of Justice, 1992
“Sex is most joyful and fulfilling - most emotionally safe as well as physically safe - when it occurs within a loving, total and binding commitment...[as in] marriage... the union of two person’s lives.”
Source: Thomas Lickona, American Educator, Educating for Character
Teenage children are unable to connect sex with love
Jean Piaget
Adolescents are unable to think in terms of the future Lawrence Kohlberg
Having sex before the heart is developed leads to problems with intimacy later
Victor Frankl
Any position in life depends on meeting certain criteria
The qualification for sex is maturity and marriage
Temptation of Sexual Love
Temptation of Sexual Love
1.Protection of the heart, conscience and body
2.Opportunity to develop character
3.Freedom to develop other friendships
4.Training for fidelity
5.Less chance of divorce
1.Greatest gift to show sincerity
2.Freedom to learn the art of loving together
3.Freedom from comparisons to past lovers
4.Less chance of divorce
5.Training for fidelity
Romance by itself Insufficient foundation for the enduring love needed to sustain marriages and families
1.Psychological damage and problems for future marriage can afflict either men or women
Even if disease and pregnancy are prevented
Can have lifelong impact
1.Caring
2.Honesty
3.Trust
4.Fidelity
5.Commitment
6.Sense of sacrifice
7.Sexual satisfaction
7.Anxiety over possible pregnancy and disease
8.Rage over betrayal
9.Corruption ofcharacter
10.Depression and suicide
Source: Thomas Lickona, “The Neglected Heart,” American Educator, 1994
1.Comparison to past partners
2.Tendency towards infidelity
3.Transmission of STDs
4.Greater likelihood of divorce
1.Regret
2.Heartbreak
3.Guilt and shame
4.Stunted personal growth
5.Loss of self-respect
6.Fear of commitment
Source: Thomas Lickona,“The Neglected Heart,” American Educator, 1994
Caution and wisdom needed because of the bonding power of love
1.Looking for love
2.Seeking acceptance
From partner
From peers
3.Proving one’s manhood or womanhood
1.Loving has purpose and direction
Grounded in heart & conscience
Purpose determines depth of love
2.Love is grounded in ethical standards beyond the personal relationship
1.Mature character Discernment and self-control
2.Constant caring investment
Communication
Mutual support and service
Shared interests and activities
Forgiveness and making amends
3.Shared ethical values
Beyond mutual gratification
Connected to community
1.Includes sexual attraction
Rooted in instinctual and unconscious forces
2.Transient stage
3.Lasting intimacy, freedom and joy takes time and investment
