Ever had that feeling that there is more to the life that you have right now? That somewhere, somehow there lies a life of true success and real significance, but for the record it somehow escapes us.
Why is it that for some of us, no matter how hard we try, no matter how many self-help books we read, no matter how many "life-changing" trainings and seminars we attend, at the end of the day we still fall back to our old selves? Really, what seems to be the problem here?
Has it ever occurred to you what could possibly be the reasons why you are not reaching your full potential as an individual?
I want to keep it simple for you to understand why you do what you do. There's just 3 things that plainly tell the reasons why you do whatever it is you normally do on a daily basis. And these 3 things hold the key if you ever want to change your life.
In a nutshell, they are habits, beliefs and conformity. And all these 3 are connected to each other. Let's take them one-by-one.
If you woke up this morning... healthy, alive and alert... do you have to consciously decide to get up from your bed, have breakfast, take a shower, and dress up for work?
Habits are things that we unconsciouly do. These are the things that were imbibed into our system ever since we were kids watching what others (usually our parents, our older siblings, relatives and other grown-ups do). Through the course of time we adopt these habits and later on, adopt more deeper habits such as how we treat others, how we handle our finances, how we respond to problems and many more and again, all at an unconscious level.
These deeper-seated habits are something to think about. Take some time right now to think what could be some of these habits that you have unconsciously inherited through the course of time, that in one way or another have changed how you live your life.
When we say beliefs, I'm referring to one's belief system. Some of these beliefs that we have gained were taught by our predecessors or those who have gone before us. Other beliefs we got, again, from our parents, teachers, possibly our mentors... or people closest to us and who have had a significant impact in our lives.
Other places that form our set of beliefs can come from various religious groups and from the books and other materials they provide. We can also get them from the media (TV, movies, radio, the internet, etc.)... We can also get them from our personal experiences.
All these beliefs eventually shape us and either have a direct or indirect influence with our day-to-day decisions, molding us into a person that we would one day become or have now become. Take a moment and reflect on what beliefs have made a significant impact on your life.
"Everbody fall in line! Those who keep on playing around will be given disciplinary action!" "Everybody should get good grades! No one should fail any test!" Remember those lines? Whether it came from your 3rd grade, 5th grade or high school teacher, the point is you had no choice but to conform during that time, or else be viewed either as wrong, different and as a result you're deprived of rewards or worse, given a harsh punishment. Now it's not that your teachers are wrong with their rules before. But have you ever noticed that mindset of conformity grew up with you and has now become a part of your life?
If you recall, habits are what you unconsciously do. Conformity on the other hand, is what we consciously choose to do. Probably because of fear, safety, or avoidance of being noticed and reprimanded as wrong or viewed as totally different... especially in one's immediate surroundings and society.
Let me give you a few examples in terms of one's occupation and finances. We consciously choose after graduation to find a job because... everyone else does it and it's what your parents did before as well. We consciously choose to save our hard-earned money and store it in the bank, because that's what everybody else does. And we consciously choose to settle for the retirement benefits of our employer or company, because that's what everyone said is good for you... even if you know deep down that it's not going to be enough in the long run. These are just simple things and yet they tell a striking truth. And there are many more.
Ask yourself, what or who have you been conforming to as of late, and throughout the course of your life?
All these three things, HABITS, BELIEFS, and CONFORMITY are the hidden forces behind why you do what you do everyday. There's actually nothing wrong with them.
The problem lies when one adopts the WRONG Habits, WRONG Set of Beliefs and Conforms to the WRONG standards or people. And once you gradually acquire all of these into your system, they ultimately become a part of you and are hard to shake off. It takes something more than a set of books on personal growth or a series of seminars or counseling sessions to change what is already inside you.
It takes something stronger, yet simpler.It takes a paradigm shift.