Today more than ever, effective management and project execution depends on frequent team and individual interaction. When Communication styles differ, individuals may not be correctly understood, rapport is minimized and the interaction is assessed as being less than positive. Note, a key component of the Business Analysis Body of Knowledge® v2.0 is Requirement Management and Communication contained in Chapter 4. This presentation will help you to improve your life experience and communication performance dramatically and measurably. It will provide you with powerful information, excellent techniques, and actionable strategies you can use to improve your relationships, and succeed more in business. Ernest L. HicksErnest L. Hicks is Manager, Corporate Diversity for Xerox Corporation. He is responsible for external relationships, partnerships, communications, image programs and corporate diversity initiatives.

1. Communication Modeling for Personal and
Professional Excellence
Launch
Celebration
Guest Speaker:
Ernest Hicks
June 4, 2009
This event is
sponsored by
© International Institute of Business Analysis™

2. Agenda
§ 1. Welcome and Chapter
Update
§ 2. Upcoming Programs
§ 3. June Program with Guest
Speaker Ernest Hicks
© International Institute of Business Analysis™ 2

3. Chapter Update
1. Chapter Charter
§
2. Chapter Board of Director Elections
§
3. Chapter Membership
§
4. Chapter Surveys
§
6. Volunteer Opportunities
§
Chapter Website: rochesterny.theiiba.org
© International Institute of Business Analysis™ 3

4. Upcoming Programs
§ Thursday, 7/16 – Summer Networking (i.e. –
Happy HourJ) at Pomodoro Grill
§ Thursday, 8/13 – Summer Networking at
Pomodoro Grill
§ Thursday, 9/24 – “Bringing Software
Requirements to Life” Lunch Program with
Guest speaker David Walker from Borland at
Sanibel Cottage
§
© International Institute of Business Analysis™ 4

5. Upcoming Programs
§ Thursday, 10/22 – “Visualization of
Requirements” Lunch event with Matt Smith
from iRise at Sanibel Cottage
§ Thursday, 11/19 – Dinner event with Blueprint
at Sanibel Cottage
§ Thursday, 12/10 – Holiday Dinner Party at
Sanibel Cottage
© International Institute of Business Analysis™ 5

6. Effective Communications
The Map Is Not The Territory
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It Is Only “A” Map Of The Territory
Ernest L. Hicks 585-423-6157
8*223-6157

7. Basic Presuppositions
J The meaning of your communication is the response it elicits
J There are no failures in communication, only responses
J Recognizing responses requires clean open sensory channels
J Individuals process all information through their five senses
J Individuals with the most flexibility have the highest probability of achieving
the response they desire
J Individuals have all the resources necessary to make any desired change
J Individuals have two levels of communications: conscious and unconscious
J There is inherent value in all individuals regardless of the appropriateness
of their behavior
J Individuals operate from their perception of the world rather than what the
world really is.

8. Effective Communications

9. What is Communication?
‘Communication” is the process that occurs when a perceived
behavior in one person causes a “significant” mental, emotional,
physical, or spiritual reaction in another person
Since silence, withdrawal, and absence can cause significant mental and
emotional reactions, it is impossible to “not communicate.”
What is Effective “Communication”?
Two or more people communicate effectively when each feels clear at
the end that
Ø “My main (primary) needs have been met well enough,...
Ø in a way that pleases me well enough.”
The odds of this happening in typical interpersonal situations are about 25%!

10. The Meaning Of Your Communication

11. The Meaning Of Your Communication

12. How People Perceive Communications
Generic Visual Auditory Kinesthetic
I understand you I see your point I hear what you I feel that I am in
are saying touch with what
you’re saying
I want to
communicate I want you to I want to make I want you to get a
something to take a look at this loud and grasp on this
you this clear
Do you Am I painting a Does what I am Are you able to get
understand what clear picture? saying sound an handle on this?
I am trying to right to you?
communicate?
I know beyond a
I know that to be shadow of a That information That information is
true doubt that this is is accurate word as solid as a rock
true for word
I am not sure That is pretty That doesn’t I am not sure I’m
about that hazy to me really ring a bell following you

13. Vc Eye Cues Vr
Visual
Constructed Images Visual
Recalled Images
Ac
Ar
Auditory
Constructing Words, Auditory
Dialogue Remembering Words,
Dialogue
K
Kinesthetic
Aid
Internal & External Feelings
Auditory
Internal Dialogue

14. Submodality Checklist
VISUAL Visual
color, clarity
Vr
shade position Vc
movement flat
association shape
movie snapshot
distance foreground

15. Submodality Checklist
AUDITORY
Auditory
tone, tempo
direction pitch
internal volume sounds
frequency words Ac
Ar
location external
intensity associated
disassociated

16. Submodality Checklist
KINESTHETIC kinesthetic
temperature size
movement shape
moisture weight
durationinternal external K
texture
location frequency

17. Now I can see Practice Activity I really feel
excited
what you are
saying
I would probably
And I have
express it this
to ask myself
way
how this affects me
I remember you said
There are so many just those words
things that I can see
myself doing

18. Questions to Elicit Specific Eye Accessing
Visual Remembered
What color are your mother’s eyes?
What color is your car?
How many doors are in your house?/apartment
Constructed Images
How much is 330 divided by 3
Describe how you would look on a TV screen
See yourself ten pounds lighter
Auditory
Think of one of your favorite songs- hum it to yourself
How does your car sound?
Remember the last conversation with the last person you saw last night
Kinesthetic
Which is colder- your right or left arm?
Feel the heat of hot sand
Remember how you felt with your first kiss

19. Rapport
✪ Only 7% of communication on the unconscious
level comes through language.
✪ 93% ---- your voice, body, as well as words
✪ MATCHING, moving the same side of the body
The image cannot be displayed. Your
The image cannot be displayed. Your computer may not have enough
computer may not have enough memory to open the image, or the
memory to open the image, or the image may have been corrupted.
image may have been corrupted. Restart your computer, and then open
Restart your computer, and then open the file again. If the red x still appears,
the file again. If the red x still appears, you may have to delete the image and
you may have to delete the image and then insert it again.
then insert it again.
✪ MIRRORING, being a mirror image

20. Rapport
Ø Rapport is a state in which a person is most
responsive to you
Ø When people are like each other they tend to like
each other
Ø On the other hand when people are not like each
other, they tend to not like each other

21. What are Your Goals?
The first thing that degrades during a crucial conversation is not
our behavior (second) but motives, and we rarely see it happening
Unhealthy Goals Goals of Dialogue
Ø Be Right Ø Learn
Ø Look good/ save face Ø Find the Truth
Ø Win Ø Produce Results
Ø Punish, blame Ø Build and Strengthen
Relationships
Ø Avoid Conflict
Crucial Conversations Tools for talking when stakes are high, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny Ron Mc Millan, Al Switzler

22. Anchoring
Ø An anchor is a technique that establishes a
conditioned response in a person using
words, pictures, touch or gestures.
- Person is fully associated
- Present or past experience

23. Identifying A Personal Anchor
Understand what actions, behavior, words or
Stimuli cause you to respond automatically to
Certain situations
Example
1.Stimulus: song
2.Modality auditory
3.Response “I get teary
4.Connection When I said good-bye to my best friend

24. Managing Your Listening
Listening Filters
Ø Our automatic way of listening is reactive, listening to
Ø Our little voice reacts to what we think we hear
I already know this What’s the point?
This is like--- Where is this going?
What’s in it for me? Will this work?
Ø Focus is on the information that validates your thinking
Ø You miss out on the new information you didn’t know that
could have created new possibilities, growth and
development
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco

25. Filters
Values Attitudes
Personality
Beliefs
Expectations
Culture Assumptions
Prejudices Interests
Memories Images past and future
Past experience
Ø Although all of us possess these internal lenses, we are often
blind to them. We do not realize how much they “color” what we
hear and how we respond.
Ø Being aware of these filtering lenses is a significant step in
becoming a better listener.

26. Managing Your Listening
Affirmative Listening
Ø Affirmative Listening is listening for- Listening for the possibility
Ø Instead of listening through “ I know this” try listening through “ I don’t
know this
Ø Listen for new ideas, how you are alike, for ways to collaborate, shared
values
Ø Affirmative listening connects you to others rather than separate you from
others
AFFIRMATIVE
REACTIVE
What is
What is spoken HEARD
What is What is
HEARD spoken
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco

27. Preparing an Issue For Discussion
Ø The Issue is: Be concise. One or two sentences, is it a concern, challenge,
opportunity, recurring problem?
Ø It is Significant Because: What’s at stake, How does it affect dollars,
income, customers, the future.
Ø My Ideal Outcome: What specific results do I want
Ø Relevant Background Information: How, when, why and where did the
issue start.
Ø What I have done up to this point: What have I done so far, What
options am I considering?
Ø The help I want from the group is: What result do I want
Fierce Conversations, Achieving Success at Work

28. Making Things happen
Learn to Make Proper Request
Ø Saying exactly what you want
Ø Saying exactly when you want it
Ø Saying exactly who you want it from
The operative word is exactly. The less precise you are in
making your request, the greater the chance you will not get
what you want or expect.
When we don’t get what we want we usually blame someone
else, but the majority of the time it’s our fault.
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco

29. Getting Proper Replies
There are only four proper replies or responses to
request
Ø Accept
Ø Decline
Ø Counteroffer
Ø Promise to reply later
If you let someone give you anything except one of these
responses, there is a good chance that the action you want and
need will not be forthcoming
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco

30. Dealing With Non-responses
Many replies you will get are actually vague non-
responses
Ø I’ll think about it
Ø I’ll look into that
Ø I’ll try
Ø That’s a great idea
Ø As soon as I can get to it
Ø That’s outside of my control, but I’ll see what I can do
Ø I’ll see what my boss says
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco

31. The Enrollment Process
Ø Step 1: Connect with the person or group you are enrolling
– what are one or two things the people I am enrolling are committed to?
– What ways have I demonstrated my commitment?
Ø Step 2: Share your personal commitment, and connect their
commitment with yours.
– What commitment is driving, or behind my effort?
– What are the ways my successful efforts will satisfy both their
commitment and my own
Ø Step 3: Allow the people you are enrolling to involve themselves
in the process.
– How do I expect people to respond to what has been said?
– How will I react, and what will I say, when they do respond?
– How would like them to respond?
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco

32. The Enrollment Process
Ø Step 4: Once you feel you have made your connection, move
on to your request.
– Exactly what do I want, exactly when, and exactly whom do I want it
from?
– What will happen or stop happening if I get what I want, and when will
it start or stop happening?
Ø Step 5: Get a committed response.
– What are four proper responses I will accept?
Ø Step 6: Summarize the conversation and the outcomes
– again, how will granting my request enable my
commitments and theirs to be realized?
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco

33. Principles For Communicating With People
Ø All People are motivated. We cannot motivate them. We can only guide them by
their motivations.
Ø People do things for their own reasons; not for Yours Or mine. Show people
what they want and they will move Heaven and Earth to get it.
Ø People change because of pain. When the pain of staying the same becomes
greater than the pain of changing, People will change.
Ø The key to all effective communication is identification. When something
becomes personal, It Becomes interesting.
Ø The best way to get people to pay attention to you is to pay attention to them.
Little things mean a lot.
By Nido R. Qubein

34. Principles For Communicating With People
Ø Pride is a powerful motivator. Everybody is proud of something.
Ø You cannot change people; only their behaviors. Attack the behavior; not the
person.
Ø The worker's perception becomes the supervisor's reality. What they see is what
you get.
Ø You consistently get the behaviors you consistently expect and reinforce.
Reinforcement can be positive or negative.
Ø We all judge ourselves by our motives; but we judge others by their actions. Any
of us can do anything we can convince ourselves we are justified in doing.
By Nido R. Qubein

35. The Meaning Of Your Communication
Wisdom has two parts: 1) Having a lot to say, 2) And not
saying it.
What does it take to create win-win solutions?
Ø We need to focus on needs and interests rather than wants and positions.
Ø We need to be honest about our wants and needs, then discover the other
person's wants and needs.
Ø Attitude and belief are critical to the success of this process.
Ø What principles do you base your words and actions on?
Ø What are your values and beliefs?
Ø What is your purpose in life, your personal mission?
This is the starting point for all your communications with yourself and
others.

36. .
Thank You

37. Now I can see
what you are
Practice Activity I really feel
excited
saying There are so many
things that I can see
myself doing
Vc K
Vc
I would probably And I have
express it this to ask myself
way how this affects me
Ac
Aid
But those past
experiences are
hard to forget I remember you said
just those words
Vr Ar

38. You Have The Power
Seven Conversational Principles
Ø Be aware of the power of conversation and pay close
attention to how you speak and listen
Ø Don’t dwell on past-domain conversations; use them to
establish a connection and then move on
Ø Be aware of, manage, and change the broad invisible
unspoken conversations that determine the way people
see and interpret the world.
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco

39. You Have The Power
Seven Conversational Principles continued...
Ø Shift the conversation first from the past to the future and
then to the present
Ø Manage your listening and that of others by couching and
by substituting affirmative for reactive listening
Ø Distinguish between those things that exist in substance
and those that exist in language, and act appropriately
Ø Consciously and intentionally manage and shape your
image as someone people listen to attentively
leadership and The Art of Conversation, Kim Krisco