Presentation at the International Forum of Women in E-Learning, December 2010, at Albuquerque, New Mexico

1. Circles of Discovery: Building and Sustaining e-Relationships at a Distance Stella PortoGraduate School of Management & TechnologyUniversity of Maryland University College Christine WaltiUniversity of Oldenburg, Germany MDE Faculty, Students and Graduates

2. Contributors

3. Agenda Context Some theory and supporting ideas Circles of discovery: dimensions Our cooperation Personal voices Summaries Really personal Challenges Future

4. Our Context: The Master of Distance Education and E-Learning (MDE) The MDE qualifies present and future managers and leaders to be active advocates for distance learning in their organizations and manage the resulting significant change processes that affect the entire organization.

5. Our Context: The MDE

6. Our Context: The MDE The MDE focus on developing managers and leaders in the areas of e-learning & distance education within different settings, including: K-12, higher-education, corporate, non-profits, government and military. CorporateTraining &Learning Our mission is our means and our means is our mission FacultySupport Media & technology DistanceEducation Potential managers of the DE enterprise Entirely online for part-time working adults International Collaborative InstructionDesign &Support HigherEducation Leaders &Managers

7. Our Context: Who are We? Age Group How we metin the MDE Different Roles GeographicSeparation Image psyberartist

9. Geographical separation has an impact

10. Formation and maintenance (needs) change over time as do abilities, experiences and development needs

11. Choose those as friends who contribute positively to ones identityImage: striatic

13. The more interaction over a broad range of activities the more likely to move from ‘stranger’ to ‘acquaintance’ to ‘friend’

14. Emotional closeness

15. Continuity

16. Time and ToolsImage: controltheweb

18. Age and previous/past experiences

19. Life Stage

20. Current (personal and professional) issues

21. Mentoring style/type relationships

23. Creating trust as opposed to outperforming peers and subduing fears of being unprepared or incompetent (proving competence)

25. Circles of Discovery: MDE Spaces

26. Circles of Discovery: E-learning Roles and Activities

27. Circles of Discovery: Diversity

28. Circles of Discovery: Personal/Social

29. Circles of Discovery: Technologies

31. Expansive and Inclusive

32. Free-flowing and Chaotic

33. Circles of opportunity to interact, build, sustain and maintain our relationshipsImage: mrnilspeteers

34. Our Cooperation: The Means

36. What other differences should be taken into consideration?

37. Are distance relationships different than ‘others’/f2f ones?

38. How do you define the distance and f2f ones. Can you name important aspects parameters?

39. Why are they different and what does this mean?

41. What are strategies to improve distant relationships?

42. What do you think everyone needs to ask themselves when entering/engaging in distant relationships?

43. What are your expectations? How can they be reconciled with those of others

44. In the context of the MDE: what are advantages and drawbacks?

45. What are your particular interests in/for this presentation?

47. Support network during life challenges

48. E-relationships are not necessarily different

49. Transcend spatial limitations

50. Avoids initial misjudgments

51. Willingness to be more open at a distance (one-on-one)

52. Development of an awareness of the group’s communication rhythmsImage: AndreannaMoya

53. Personal Voices: Really Personal “My closest relationships are with those persons whom I have a special bond.” Image: Library of Congress - Flickr “[The] distance existence is often richer than ones which involve physical contact because it permits me to be myself without fear of misjudgment.” “This lack of reliance on emotional or visual expression, therefore, is a positive thing that permits distance relationships to push beyond what may be a hindrance to building relationships.”

54. Personal Voices: Really Personal Image: Library of Congress - Flickr “I am usually much more forthcoming one-to-one (for example, on e-mail or Skype) than I am in a forum where I tend to read what others write and think about it and how it relates to my own experience.” “Because we don’t see each other at the office every day, we are also more mindful when someone mentions an upcoming vacation or that they have the sniffles and are under the weather and very tired. We develop an awareness of the rhythms of our communication and there is a mutual understanding if a reply doesn’t come right away.”

56. Greater sharing of bits and pieces from their daily lives

57. More comprehensive picture of who they are

62. Lack of opportunity to meet (at a distance or otherwise)

63. Miscommunication and misunderstandingsImage: Patrick

65. Incorporation of synchronous (Skype) as well as face-to-face interaction

66. Active listening: asking questions and considering responses

67. Honest interaction and empathyImage: antkriz

69. Consideration of relationship level: personal or professional or both?

70. Focusing on the non-visual and becoming more self-reflective

71. Frequent contact Image: skelastic

72. Personal Voices: Really Personal "It is so incredibly important to look beyond on our own borders for good practices in this field so distance relationships are critical to us as professionals. .... relationships with women do have a different and special quality.” Image: Library of Congress - Flickr Women, as research will tell us, are more likely to connect through shared common experience. (Think women’s movement—once we started getting together and finding out that our challenges and difficulties were not individual as we had been told but rather a shared experience due to systemic gendered power structures, there was no stopping us from gabbing and collectively pushing together.)

73. Personal Voices: Really personal “... in our co-teaching and in our relationships between instructors and teaching assistants and writing coaches, there does not seem to be a sense of hierarchy but rather of pooled knowledge and expertise as well as mutual respect for each others’ strengths...” Image: Library of Congress - Flickr

74. Personal Voices: Really personal “It is challenging to maintain relationships that are solely at a distance. Contact must be sufficiently frequent to provide continuity and a sense of 'knowing the other'. If there is not an explicit reason for contact (e.g. co-teaching or a common project), it takes motivation and effort to stay in touch." Image: amanderson2

76. What does the other want from me?

77. What do I want from them?

78. How can we look beyond our borders?Image: Maria Keayes

80. Depends upon level of openness and willingness to be open

81. Key ingredients: honesty, trust, respect

82. Important to set boundaries

83. Characteristics: caution, but more willingness to be openImage: jogales

84. Personal Voices: Really Personal “In those first online interactions, I think an initial choice is made as to how much we will reveal to each other in the beginning phases of the relationship. There is usually some hesitation in how much we share, sometimes we are cautious and sometimes not so cautious.” Image: FaceMePLS

85. Personal Voices: Really Personal “The level of openness can depend on individual personalities and experiences, as well as on how much we already know about the person we are interacting with.” Image: ShahramSharif

86. Personal Voices: Really Personal Image: quinn.anya “Whether an online relationship will move from the professional realm into the personal, I think, is based on the level of rapport, honesty, and trust that has been established within the relationship.”

87. Personal Voices: Really Personal Image: Antífama “I see my MDE relationships as a series of interconnected and concentric circles with many layers of overlapping and interconnection… illustrate the many layers of connections between the women of the MDE.”

89. Flex time to accommodate lots of conflicting demands when it is up to us to decide on the balance

90. Issues of incentives and motivation that vary for adjunct faculty, students and/or gradsImage: webtreats

91. Personal Voices: Really Personal “Because distance relationships often are void of visual cues the non-visual becomes more pronounced. This requires participants to be more self reflective as well as more thought conscious on what is said.” “Often the distance relationships I have with women are more supportive when life challenges surface. The support is ongoing and authentic. .... my expectations are ones of mutual respect and honesty." Image: Bob Jagendorf

92. Personal Voices: Final These relationships make a positive difference not only to the individuals involved, but to the (MDE) community as a whole “Maintaining a network of women friends who shadow my life with their own” Image: attawayjl “A fabulous network or weaving that we are all developing together, but on a many sided loom....some bits are more developed than others ... circles within circles, and drifting in and out

95. Before and after our presentation? After you went home?

96. What questions do you have?

97. What suggestions can you provide?

98. What would you want to consider?

99. What would you want to ask, add, dismiss?

100. We look forward to hearing from you and thanks for engaging!Image: geishaboy500

101. References Boiney, L.G. (2001). Gender impacts virtual teams. Graziado Business Report, 4(4). Retrieved October 6, 2010 from http://gbr.pepperdine.edu/014/teams.html. Finchum, T. D. (2005). Keeping the ball in the air: Contact in long-distance friendships. Journal of Women & Aging, 17(3). doi: 10.1300/J074v17m03_07 Laff, M. (2009). The guiding hand: Mentoring women. T + D, 63(9), pp. 32-35. All images are courtesy of Flickr users who have chosen to offer their work under a Creative Commons license. Thanks to everyone who has contributed!!!

102. Contact Information Thank you! Presentation will be available @ slideshare.net Contact: sporto@umuc.edu christinewalti@verizon.net Image: oddsock