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1. Display Ad Content Audit
Bank Every Cent From Your Content
By Tia Dobi For

2. Introductory Letter
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
Stony Creek Brands
Ad audit and Recommendations for higher ROI
April 5, 2013 Tia Dobi, Intelligent Creative
Introduction
This report reflects a comprehensive review of these two display ads:
Nilson’s Amethyst Jewelry
Amadeo’s Golden Wine Glass
To begin, let’s consider . . .
What kinds of advertising copy and illustrations get the best results in print?
Our goal is to find out: do our print ads reflect best direct response tactics used by Claude Hopkins, John Caples, Eugene
Schwartz, David Ogilvy and others who’ve shown us through decades of repeat testing, what elements are responsible for
performance?
Copy testing isn’t infallible
Errors occur frequently in copy testing because there are so many variables that throw off results. Here are some possible
problems affecting test validity:
1. Differences in the publications used.
2. Differences in page locations in the publications used.
3. Variations in reading habits, inquiry mood, and buying activity at different times of the year.
4. Natural variations resulting simply from the law of averages.
5. Differences in the general interest in the product offered. This can well be the most important of the foregoing
variables. Furthermore, product interest may vary among different products in a line or for the same products at
different times of the year.
What is certain is this: print is really the best writer’s challenge. Unlike television (which enjoys the optional components of
music, voice, product demonstration, fast-paced movement and more), pulling with print relies on solid writing. It’s about
crafting language. Along with the right approach, it’s solely about writing. And the most challenging writing? Stories.
Up next… Make or Break? Appeal must-haves

3. Make or Break? APPEAL must-haves
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
At first blush, we want to scrutinize the core ROI appeal of our ads:
Angle – Do our ideas… Nature’s Most Regal Gem and Toast to Romeo and Juliet… strategically hit the user-centric mark and
form the golden-thread theme necessary to pull the reader through the headline to the order?
Your big idea must…. Hook the prospect’s interest…. Confirm her prejudices… Resonate with her emotions… Stimulate desires….
Articulate a large, social, unspoken belief… Deliver a promise… Be simple enough so that your prospect can re-communicate it
to someone else from memory. An idea can be implicit or stated in the headline. Revisit the sales strategy.
In 2000, "A Diamond is Forever" was named by AdAge magazine as the best advertising slogan of the twentieth century…
example of a big idea.
Headline – Consider benefit-oriented headlines hooking the dominant emotion of the target prospect… written into your
irresistible promise (idea).
Example: Headline: “"Say you'd marry her all over again with a diamond anniversary ring", "A one carat diamond is one in a
million," and "Is two months' salary too much to spend for something that lasts forever?" [De Beers Diamonds]
Note: This is not to imply our ads should mimic that writing as headers come in many styles…. And it’s not that our headlines
are “wrong”; they simply do not follow best direct response practices. They may be used as photo captions or lead headers.
Story Content Strength – Emotive, clear, compelling stories are hard as heck to write. Here we have the added components
of conveying a story about the artist that serves the prospect, and product features/benefits (sorely missing). The copy, too,
should involve the prospect by giving ideas on how to use the product and/or profit from the benefit. In short, establish a
relationship between the audience and the benefit.
Here, our stories are a great start. Would it be possible to write with more allure, intrigue, intimacy? Absolutely. We want to
write in a way that makes our reader feel the product. Essentially, we want to delight and enchant the prospect with our
writing. To bring the human connection into every interaction with customer…. We must romance the product.
Mini example….

4. Make or Break? APPEAL must-haves
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
PAINT A STRONGER PICTURE - - > >
The J. Peterman Company
World-travel purveyors. Masters of storytelling.
We have double-duty, however… artisan plus
product story. A hybrid.
Recommendations:
Headline hooks into prospect’s dominant emotion…
or curiosity. Write MANY.
Rewrite stories so they take the prospect on an
emotional journey that the prospect wants to be on.
Add product details.
Play up the exclusivity, and no two are made alike.
(It’s buried)
Write an exhaustive list of features/benefits… this is
the mojo that may uncover a new idea or reader
interest/solution that’s untapped in current copy.
Writing conveys how the product benefits the
buyer’s life (helping the artisan is not enough to sell
off a page… and it’s recommended even that be
said in a romantic way).
Write to convey how the product feels to the touch
and how it makes the buyer feel.
Include product usages, i.e. Wineglasses… tell them
to pack into their picnic basket (if appropriate!).
Include dialogue.
CREATE A SIGNATURE FORMULA FOR YOUR
STORYTELLING << -- This is everything.
J. Peterman establishes the storyteller…. We see
that by their logo… there are a few approaches we
can take.

5. Make or Break? APPEAL must-haves
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
Recommendation:
Include the artist’s signature!
More regal, more credibility,
increases value image.

6. 25-Point Creative Evaluation Checklist
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
25-Point Creative Evaluation Checklist
Advertising techniques that attract attention, create interest, arouse desire, and stimulate action.
Creative Development Sculpted
Gemstone
Jewelry of Brazil
by Nilson
Amedeo’s
Golden Wine
Glass
1. Big Idea Golden thread theme runs throughout. Prospect: Did it make me gasp when I
saw it? Competitor: Do I wish I had thought of it myself? Is it unique? Does it fit the
strategy to perfection? Can it be used for 30 years? We need a better sales angle.
No No
2. Core Buying Emotion Fundamental emotion that drives the sale. Stir… 1 core emotion.
Emphasize… 1 good idea. Tell… 1 captivating story. Direct your prospect to… 1 inevitable
response!
No No
3. Emotionally powerful headline with appealing benefit to reader Presents a prime
benefit (from the reader’s POV) and a complete thought (with words your reader would
use).
No No
COPY Sculpted
Gemstone
Jewelry of Brazil
by Nilson
Amedeo’s
Golden Wine
Glass
4. Makes reader ‘feel’ product We’re selling a fantasy, not a necessity. Colorful and
descriptive language moves buyers to action. Current copy tells rather than shows. We
need more persuasive copy to romance the prospect.
Yes/No Yes/No
5. Offers benefits throughout Benefits connect the prospect’s emotion desires with your
product. Answers what’s in it for me? Picture the benefit clearly, simply, and as large as
possible. Or offers curiosity… intrigue…
No No
6. Features/Benefits Clear connection between features and benefits No No
7. Concise and conversational Although copy is simplistic (good!)… could be improved. Yes/No Yes/No
8. Scannable breaks Enticing subheads keep the copy in your ad powering forward.
Some people will only read subheads. The best subheads can be read in order to tell
your whole story.
No No

7. 25-Point Creative Evaluation Checklist
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
COPY Sculpted
Gemstone
Jewelry of Brazil
by Nilson
Amedeo’s
Golden Wine
Glass
9. Pass ‘out loud’ test How does the copy sound when you read it out loud? Do any
sections seem confusing or awkward? (The copy should sound as good as it reads.)
Needs better transitions/storytelling.
No No
10. Shows the reader where this fits into her world Mentions uses or occasions product
especially appropriate for?
No No
11. Answers why prospect might want more than one No No
12. Product details main features and benefits summarized at the end No No
13. Includes dialogue Yes No
14. Call-out quotes Either by artist, testimonial, or quotes recognizable person
(opportunity to put our welcome customer responses to use)
No No
15. On brand We have such juicy brands… meaning/value needs to illuminated Yes/No Yes/No
16. Differentiation Does the copy differentiate the product from the competition? (Will the
product stand out in a crowd of look-alikes?)
No No
GRAPHICS
Sculpted
Gemstone
Jewelry of Brazil
by Nilson
Amedeo’s
Golden Wine
Glass
17. Takes advantage of spokesperson’s attractiveness Artist look is relevant to the
situation and matches people’s expectations.
No Yes
18. Distinct look “Put a face on the brand,” she said. “A strong brand should be hard to
copy.” Could be strengthened…
Yes/No Yes/No
19. Font usage makes sense Too many fonts; lose purple font (or use in a different way).
Some of the fonts match the brand. Could be better.
Yes/No Yes/No

8. 25-Point Creative Evaluation Checklist
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
CALL TO ACTION Sculpted
Gemstone
Jewelry of Brazil
by Nilson
Amedeo’s
Golden Wine
Glass
20. Easy to order Yes Yes
21. Command language Yes Yes
22. Highlight the end date “Hurry! Call today. This offer ends on March 15.” No No
23. Risk reversal Guarantee Yes Yes
READABILITY Sculpted
Gemstone
Jewelry of Brazil
by Nilson
Amedeo’s
Golden Wine
Glass
24. Black type on a white background for easy reading … Yes Yes
25. Proofread No No
Up next… In summary

9. In summary
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
In Summary
Is it the prestige?
The innocence?
The elegance?
The simplicity?
The unspoken sense of confidence?
Whatever it is, our prospects are looking for something to make them feel good.
Your ads needs to offer her a glimpse into what you can do for her… the ideas, the suggestions of value, (how our products will
change her life)… with more product details and benefits… layout that distinguishes the brand…. maybe even graphics with
unusual illustrations … use sales angles and storytelling that resonate with her thought-sequence.
Recommendation: Complete rewrites
Use lyrical language. Create a signature style for your ad layout and content that, overtime, becomes immediately recognizable
from 20 paces (now’s the time—out of the gate!).
Terri, thank you for the opportunity to review your display ads and provide recommendations. I look forward to helping you
making these ads winners.
Just let me know when and how you’d like me to proceed!
Sincerely,
Tia D.
(310) 839-2468
tiad@earthlink.net

10. In summary
Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by tiad@earthlink.net
COMING ATTRACTIONS
DEAR SLIDESHARE READER,
PLEASE DOWNLOAD THIS .PDF SO YOU CAN READ
THE INSERTED YELLOW STICKY NOTES
IN THE UPCOMING 2 ADS, THANK YOU.
TIA DOBI

11. One only needs to remember Shake-
speare’s famous play to understand the
role that family pride plays in the medi-
eval city of Verona.
As we meander through the ancient
streets of this town in Northern Italy, we
quickly forget how much the rest of the
world has changed since Shakespeare’s
day.
At the Villa Gritta, we find ourselves in
animated conversation with Valentino, a
prominent son of the town committed to
telling the story of Verona’s long commit-
ment to the arts.
Before long, we are breaking bread with
Valentino, his brother Roberto, and fa-
ther Amedeo as they give us a private tour
of their workshop. Side by side, the father
and his two sons work long days bringing
beauty to the world. The workshop has
been in the family since the 1800s when it
was opened by Amedeo’s great grandfather.
Sketches of nature, city scenes and fantasy
cover the walls. We begin discussing wine,
and Roberto grabs a pencil and in a
moment sketches a grape motif.
Then Amedeo asks us whether we’d like to
see the design brought to life.
Roberto reaches for a glass platter, some
stucco and a paint brush. We watch him
painstakingly build up a textured design
on the plate, layer upon layer. He does
this free hand and we are astonished,
since we can barely see the design in this
mass of white.
But then, after the stucco has dried, we
watch him take a new brush and with even
more precision, apply the rich gold leaf.
Many hours later, the gold leaf is ready to
take on color. Roberto paints layer upon
layer of transparent glazes.
Of course, it is still not done! Roberto must
buff and polish it until the luster is just
right, and then he hands us the finished
piece. MAGNIFICO!
“Now, how about bringing the grape
design to a wine glass?”
Each magnificent wine glass is decorated
uno alla volta®, one at a time®.
No two are alike.
Own a piece of Verona. Enjoy the
wine, and don’t forget to toast Verona’s
most famous lovers!
Amadeo crafts only xxx wine glasses each month
Amedeo’s Golden
Wine Glass $65 $49 each
Plus shipping and Handling
Call Now, supplies are limited!
1-800-625-1866
Promotion Code: VER1301
Or visit us at
Artisantable.com/VER1301
Take advantage of this very limited offer. We Guar-
antee you will be delighted! Try it with no risk for
60 days. If you are not com-
pletely satisfied, return it to
us for a full refund (shipping
charge not refundable).
A Handcrafted
Toast to Romeo
and Juliet
direct from Verona
Artisan Table 242 Branford Rd. North Branford CT 06471. Copyright 2013. All rights reserve.

12. A decade ago, my friend and neighbor
Suzy was making frequent business trips
to South America. There, her life took
an unexpected turn and she fell in
love... quite literally.
As Suzy and her Brazilian born husband
Ed were wandering through one of the
most impoverished areas of Rio de
Janiero, serendipity led them to Nilson,
a young artist who had dropped out of
school at 15 to support his family.
Awed as much by Nilson’s humble soul
as by the beauty of his work, Suzy and
Ed placed a small order for their gallery
in Connecticut. Nilson, marveling at his
good fortune, used every centavo of
profit to buy much needed milk for the
children at the local orphanage.
Suzy introduced Uno Alla Volta to Nilson
in 2011. Our customers fell in love — with
the beauty of the natural amethyst crys-
tals, with Nilson's organic designs, and
with Nilson himself.
Today, Nilson employs all of his family
and as well as some of his neighbors.
And he is able to give to his daughter the
education he never had.
Under Ed’s tutelage, Nilson is also invest-
ing in his business so that he can raise
more of his neighbors from poverty with
meaningful employment. He is also hop-
ing one day he can buy a cow for the local
orphanage, ensuring their milk supply for
the long term.
Each piece of jewelry is unique — no two
are ever exactly alike. JJust as Mother nature
creates each crystal, Nilson crafts each sculp-
tural setting, one at a time.
Nilson shapes each piece from brass for
its strength and durability, plates it in
glistening chrome, and then searches for
just the right stone to fit each setting.
Adorn yourself or one you love in majes-
tic beauty and shape the life of Nilson,
his family and neighbors.
Call Now, supplies are limited!
1-800-625-1866
Promotion Code: NIL1301
Or visit us at
unoallavolta.com/NIL1301
Take advantage of this very limited of-
fer. We Guarantee you will be delighted!
Try it with no risk for 60 days. If you
are not completely satisfied, return it
to us for a full refund (shipping charges
not included).
Nilson crafts only 250 necklaces each month
Uno Alla Volta and One at a Time, are registered service marks of UnoAlla Volta LLC. 242 Branford Rd. North Branford CT 06471. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.
Amethyst
Collar Necklace: $180 $128
Cuff Bracelet: $138 $98
Adjustable Ring: $80 $58
Plus shipping and Handling
CERTIFICATE of AUTHENTICITY included.
One Artisan
Nature's Most Regal Gem
A Stunning Jewelry
Collection
Nilson, on the left, working on
a piece of jewelry
Amethyst
`` Symbolizes royalty, piety, humility,
sincerity, and spiritual wisdom.
`` Adorns many a monarch’s crown.
`` Thought to focus energy and is used
in meditation and healing.
`` Found in abundance in Brazil
not far from Nilson’s home.
FPO