Good Stuff Happens in 1:1 Meetings: Why you need them and how to do them well
Book review of 18 Minutes
1. Awards: Winner of the Gold medal from the
Axiom Business Book
Author: Peter Bregman
Published by: Business Plus (U.S)
Orion Publishing Group (UK)
U.K edition Cover
Pages: 261 Pages
Parts : Four
Chapters: 46
2. Author
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Peter earned his B.A. from Princeton University and
his M.B.A. from Columbia University.
Started his career teaching leadership in wilderness
and mountaineering expeditions later he moved to
consulting field with the Hay Group and Accenture
He started his own consulting firm Bregman Partners
in 1998
Peter has advised CEO and senior leaders in many of
the world’s premier organizations, including
Allianz, American Express, Brunswick Group, Goldman
Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Deutsche Bank, JPMorgan
Chase, FEI, GE Capital, Merck, Clear
Channel, Nike, UNICEF, and many others.
Peter is a regular contributor to Harvard Business
Review, Fast Company, Forbes, National Public Radio
(NPR), Psychology Today, and CNN as well as a weekly
commentator on Fox Business News.
3. Part 1: Pause- Reducing Your Forward Momentum
1)
Momentum is hard to resist.
Hard to stop arguing.
Two Strategies to pull back momentum:
In discussion in which you’ve been pushing hard and suspect you might be wrong.
1) Slow Down:
Say:
a) “ That’s an interesting point; I need to think about it some more”
b) “ Tell me more about what you mean “
Listening is the perfect antidote to momentum since it doesn’t commit you to any point of view.
4. Part 1: Pause- Reducing Your Forward Momentum
2) Start Over:
Great Leaders have enough confidence to
look critically at their own perspective and
stay open to other people points of view,
using the technique of slowing down. Even
when they know they are right.
5. Part 1: Pause- Reducing Your Forward Momentum
Reducing your forward momentum is first
step to freeing yourself from the
beliefs, habits, feelings and busyness that may
be limiting you.
6. Part 1: Pause- The Incredible Power of a Brief Pause
• Dr Joshua Gordon- A neuroscientist and Asst.
Professor @ Columbia University
“The amygdala is the emotional response center
of the brain, when something unsettling
happens in the outside world, it immediately
evokes an emotion”
Amygdala is the emotional response center of
the brain
7. Part 1: Pause- The Incredible Power of
a Brief Pause
The key cognitive control ( mental processes of
perception, memory, judgment, and
reasoning, as contrasted with emotional )of
amygdala by the prefrontal cortex (problem
solving and complex thought)
If we take a breath and delay our action, we give
the prefrontal cortex time to control
emotional response
Tip: A brief pause will help you make smarter
next move
8. Pause-See the World as it is
• Shabbat is the Jewish Sabbath (generally a
weekly day of rest or time of worship)
• No work, No travel, no computers or phones
or T.V
• Rest day from life marathon.
• They give you time think.
9. Pause-Expanding your view
• First Question when we meet people we ask
“What do you do? “ We have become our
work, our professions.
• We are connected 24/7 via Smartphones
checking mails, we have left no space for other
parts of ourselves.
• We spend all time working , travelling for
work, planning for work, or communication for
work. As long as work is going well, we can
survive that way.
10. Pause-Expanding your view
• Establishing our identity through work alone
can restrict our senses to self, and make us
depress, loss of self-worth and loss of purpose
when the work is threatened.
• What we are if our work is taken?
• So we need to diversify. Diversifying ourselves.
• So when one identity fails other keeps us
vibrant.
11. Pause-Expanding your view
• Life isn’t just about some of you; it’s about all
of you. Don’t negate (make
ineffective), integrate
12. Pause-Where do you want to land
• Event
Reaction
Outcome
• Solution, pause give your self time to
negotiate with emotions.
• Focus on the outcome, then choose your
reaction.
• Ask what is the outcome I want?
• To listen sometimes also help. So just listen
(Eleanor)
13. Pause-Where do you want to land
• Knowing what outcome you want will enable
to focus on what matters and escape the
whirlwind of activity that too often leads
nowhere fast.
14. 2.What is this year about- Find your focus
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Leverage your Strengths
Embrace your weakness
Assert your differences
Pursue your passions
15. Find your focus -Leverage Your Strengths
• Play the game you know you can win, even if it
means inventing it yourself.
• Entrepreneurs start their own companies for
exactly this reason.
16. Find your focus –Embrace Your Weakness
• We all have quirks (peculiar aspect of a
person's character) and obsessions like these.
We don’t admit them, even to ourselves.
• But that’s a mistake. Our quirks very well may
be the secret to our power.
• The second element is your weaknesses.
Rather than avoid them, embrace your
weakness and spend your time this year
where they’re an asset instead of a liability
Dinner instead of shrimp add salmon on salad
Financial statements on sking.
17. Find your focus - Assert your Differences
• If you look like other people, and if your business looks like
other business, then all you’ve done is increase your pool of
competition.
• The third element is your differences. Assert
them, Don’t waste your year and your competitive
advantage, trying to blend in.
18. Find your focus-Pursue Your Passion-Desire
• Cpt. C.B. Sullenberger made an emergency landing of 50 ton
passenger aircraft saving 155 people, by gliding onto Hudson
River.
• He got pilot license when his friends were getting driver
license. He got it for fun. He flew glider planes with no
engines.
• The fourth element is your passion, which is sometimes hard
to find. One way to recover your passion is to pursue your
desire. As you choose your focus for the year, pay less
attention to “shoulds” and more attention to “wants”
19. Find your focus-Pursue Your Passion-Persistence
• Anyone can do anything. As long as three
conditions exist.
1) You want to Achieve it.
2) You believe you can achieve it.
3) You enjoy trying to achieve it.( Very Important than first two)
20. Find your focus
• Planning ahead
Plan your day ahead so you can fly through
it, successfully navigating and moving toward
your intended destination.
• Deciding what to do
Reduce your overwhelm by putting your tasks
in an organized list, focused on what you want
to achieve for the year.
21. Find your focus
• Deciding what to not do
To get the right things done, choosing what to ignore is as
important as choosing where to focus.
• Using Your Calendar.
If you really want to get something
done, decide when and where you are going
to do it.
23. What is this day about-Getting things off your to do list
• Do it Immediately: Two minute simple email, thirty second call .
• Schedule it: If it is not immediate, give it a slot in calendar even it
is six month’s away. If it is important it has to in schedule.
• Let it go: Simply admit yourself you will not get do it immediately
or schedule for a specific time and day. If it is to hard to delete
put it into someday/maybe.
• Someday/Maybe: Put things slowly to die . Look this monthly or
so, periodically delete it as that are no longer relevant, or put in
other month.
• Never leave things on your to-do list for more than three days.
They’ll just get in the way of what you really need to get done.
24. What is this day about-The power of a Beep
• Overwhelm and Stress
• We need a discipline a ritual that can help us stay
grounded throughout the day.
• Beep- Set a watch for every hour. At that time every
hour ask if last hour has been productive and commit
how to use next hour .
• The right kind of interruption can help you master
your time and yourself. Keep yourself focused and
steady by interrupting yourself hourly.
25. What is this day about-Evening minutes
Reviewing and Learning
• How did the day go? What success did I experience? What
challenges did I endure?
• What did I learn today? About myself? About others? What do
I plan to do- differently or the same –tomorrow?
• Whom did I interact with? Anyone I need to update? Thank?
Ask a Question of? Share feedback with?
• Spend a few minutes at the end of each day thinking about
what you learned and with whom you should connect. These
minutes are the key to making tomorrow even better than
today.
26. What is this day about-18 Minute Plan
A Daily Ritual
• 18 Minute Plan
27. Mastering Distraction- Mastering your
Initiative
• Create an environment that naturally compels you to do the
things you want to.
• You need to be motivated for only a few seconds. Know when
you’re vulnerable and you’ll know when you need to turn it
on.
• Fun reduces our need to motivate ourselves because fun is
motivating.
• A good story-one you feel deeply about and in which you see
yourself- is tremendously motivating. Make sure the story
you tell about yourself (sometimes only to yourself) inspires
you to move in the direction you want to move.
28. Mastering Distraction- Mastering your
Boundaries
• Resist the temptation to say yes too often.
• When you say no, mean it, and you won’t needlessly
lose your time.
• A few moments of transition time can help make
your next task shorter, faster, and more productive
for you and others.
• When you take vacation- or any other time you want
to be undisturbed- schedule a specific time to take
care of the things that would otherwise creep into
each and every available moment.
29. Mastering Distraction-Mastering your self
• Distraction, used intentionally, can be an
asset.
• Do not do multi tasking.
• A study showed that people distracted by
incoming mail and phone calls saw a ten-point fall
in their IQ. Equivalent to the effect of marijuana
smoked twice.
• We don’t actually multitask. We switch task. And
it’s inefficient, unproductive, and sometimes even
dangerous. Resist the temptation.
(Marshmallow)
30. Mastering Distraction-Getting Over Perfectionism
• Perfectionists have hard time starting things and an even
harder time finishing them. At the beginning they who aren’t
ready . At the end, Its their product that’s not.
• Don’t try to get right in one big. Just get it going. For eg. Don’t
write a book, write a page. Don’t create entire
presentation, just create a slide.
• Do what feels right to you, not to others.
• Choose your friends, co-workers, and bosses wisely.
• The world doesn’t reward perfection. It rewards productivity.
• Stay alert and adapt to changing situations. Keep your eye on
the ball, whichever ball that may be.