No salesperson ever sets out to give a buyer the hump, but that is what appears to be happening with increasingly regularity. Sellers are making obvious mistakes that can result in immediate disqualification. In this article we will provide you with sales tips that will help you to avoid being shown the red card by the buyer.

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Even If It's Not Going Your Way The Golden Rule Is:
Sellers Keep Your Cool!
How To Avoid Being Shown The Red Card By The Buyer
“Sellers are making
obvious mistakes
that can result in
No salesperson ever sets out to give a buyer the hump, but immediate
that is what appears to be happening with increasingly
regularity. Sellers are making obvious mistakes that can
disqualification.”
result in immediate disqualification.
In this article we will provide you with sales tips that will help
you to avoid being shown the red card by the buyer.

2. Hot-Headed Sellers Are Shown The Red Card
An increasing numbers of sellers are unwittingly rubbing buyers up the
wrong way.
They are 'putting the buyer's nose out of joint' (so to speak) by
questioning their process and second guessing their logic, or
impugning their motives.
The offending sellers are scuppering not just this sale, but any
prospect of a future customer relationship by:
 Lashing Out At The Buyer
 Shooting The Messenger
 Having The Last Word
 Making It Personal
 Fighting Against The System.
“Getting aggressive
Let's examine each one in turn and how it can be avoided. or abusive with
procurement is a
Lashing Out At The Buyer
red card offense...”
We have listened with great surprise to buyers recounting incidences
of seller cattiness, or aggression. That is where salespeople have
unwisely vented their frustration at the process, or disappointment at
the result on those in the firing line − buyers.
'It is procurement that gets it in the neck from suppliers and personally
I have had enough,' said one procurement manager. The sentiments
were echoed by many more.
Another exasperated buyer warned that 'getting aggressive or abusive
with procurement is a red card offense'.
Salespeople under pressure do stupid things and having 'a go at' the
buyer is a good case in point. As one buyer put it 'Ok, salespeople are
under pressure to meet target, but taking it out on a supplier is only
going to make things a whole lot worse'.
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3. 'So, you lost the bid, get over it,' exclaimed another buyer. 'I did not
get it my way, so I am going to throw a tantrum. Deal with it in a
mature fashion,' she continued.
'There is always the next bid to win, however if you lash out at the
buyer you can forget about getting the next project either,' said
another buyer. 'Be warned we have long memories − we won't forget,'
the manager concluded.
The clear warning repeated by many buyers is that aggressive,
abusive, or catty behavior will result in a severe penalty for the seller −
one that could have consequences far beyond the next sale. As many
buyers pointed out 'it will scupper not just this sale, but the chances
of any future sale'.
'Lashing out at the buyer' also means that the seller is unlikely to
get any help in understanding what happened, or what to do next.
That includes why the deal was lost and how to ensure success in
the future.
'It is like how a spoilt child would respond − throwing a temper
tantrum when he/she does not get what he/she wants,' said another
buyer.
'We are used to legitimate inquiries, even objections,' said one public
sector buyer. He continued: 'We live in fear of the remedies directive
and are no longer surprised when a supplier brings a legal adviser to
the formal de-brief. Contesting the decision, if done in a professional
and business-like manner is fine. That is business, so to speak. When
the seller lashes out and makes it personal that is another matter'.
Shooting The Messenger
Professional buyers complain that they are increasingly the target of
seller abuse. 'Don't shoot the messenger, just because you don't like
the message,' was the advice of one procurement manager. 'The
procurement manager might be the soft target, but he, or she was
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4. unlikely to have been the ultimate decision maker,' added the
manager.
'A cross-department team of up to 6 people was involved in making
the decision. Dozens of others were consulted and ultimately the
purchase was signed off at board level. So, why is the unsuccessful
bidder pointing the finger at the procurement manager?' asked the
professional buyer. “There is a need
among salespeople
The reality is that many professional buyers have a certain degree of
empathy for sellers. No more clearly is this the case than in the public for a little more
sector where buyers are all too aware of the demands that rigid buyer empathy.”
procurement practices place on vendors and particularly smaller
indigenous vendors. In private they are almost apologetic, but in
public they have no choice, but to stand by the process.
Sellers don't have a monopoly on frustration, it is keenly felt by public
sector buyers too. So, hitting out at the buyer is not only futile, but
often unfair. There is a need among salespeople for a little more buyer
empathy.
Having The Last Word
Surprisingly, some salespeople make the mistake of telling the buyer
he/she has made the wrong decision, even hinting that they may
regret it. However, as buyers point out it is the seller that ends up full
of regret.
Let's face it 'you're wrong!' is something that a buyer absolutely does
not want to hear. Nobody wants to be told that they have made the
wrong decision, particularly when the decision has taken months and
has involved lots of analysis, as well as people.
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5. The chance of the jilted supplier saying something that changes the
buyer's mind is very slight. The chance that it will improve the buyer's
opinion of the seller is even lighter still.
As one buyer explained 'We believe that we have made the right
choice, when we see how a vendor behaves when they have not got
the sale makes us convinced that we have made the right choice...'
'Once more, it smacks of being a real sore loser,' added the buyer.
The advice for sellers is to 'go away and cool off' because 'in the heat
of the moment they are likely say and do things that they will come to
regret'.
Making It Personal
'Hell had no fury like a salesperson scorned,' joked one buyer. The
point was a serious one however. Most salespeople don't like
rejection and they don't deal with it very well.
The salesperson has invested heavily in the sale, over a period which is
likely to have spanned many months, if not quarters. It is an
investment that is not just financial, but emotional.
So when something happens that threatens to undermine all that
effort it is not surprising that the salesperson reacts, rather than
responds. That is to say he/she reacts emotionally, rather than
logically, taking it not just as personal, but a professional setback.
The advice from buyers is 'don't take it personally, and don't make it
personal'. 'It is not personal − it is just a business decision,'
commented one buyer.
Over the different stages of the sales process a relationship, or
rapport has developed, this can and should outlive the individual
tender/bid. So, don't scupper the relationship because of the sale.
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6. Instead, look to the next sale and to the lifetime value of the
customers.
Fighting Against The System
There is a problem − buyers love rules, but sellers don't. But seller
belligerence in the face of ever more rigid buying processes and “If you are not
procedures are a sure way to put the buyer's nose out of joint. playing by the rules,
Rule-makers and rule-breakers are at opposite ends of the spectrum,
you should not be
in terms of personalities, attitudes and behaviours. When the two are playing at all.”
brought together clashes are almost inevitable. However, buyers offer
a clear warning to sellers − 'reeling against the system won't work'.
As buyers point out 'The rules have been made for everybody and
apply to everybody'. For this reason trying to circumvent, or bend
them will inevitable cause buyer ire. That includes trying to gain
favour, or trying to go around, or over the head of the buyer.
As buyers point out 'You have to play by the rules, if not then you
should not be playing at all'. They are adamant that the old
relationship or strokes approach to selling is dead.
How To Avoid Getting The Red Card
Sellers need to be more zen-like. That is more calm and balanced in
their dealings with buyers. As one manager joked 'sellers, even when
under great pressure, must possess the Ghandi-like qualities of
patience and peacefulness!' Above all they need to show greater
respect for buyers and the importance of their role.
We made a note of some of the many suggestions as to how buyers
could keep their cool and avoid getting shown the red card.
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7. 1. Salespeople are typically assumed to be confident, maybe even
brash. However, times (or more to the point buyers) have
changed and seller humility is an increasing part of winning the
sale. Sellers are increasingly required to 'bite their tongues' and
to 'put their egos in the back pockets'.
2. As the advice goes − seek first to understand then to be
understood. Develop your level of buyer understanding, or
empathy. Engage with procurement, understand their role and
their responsibility.
3. Draw the line between being assertive (as in standing up for
your rights) and being aggressive (as in threatening the rights
of others). Put respect, trust and parity of esteem at the center
of your sales philosophy and adopt a genuine win-win attitude.
This will greatly reduce the likelihood of a flare-up between the
two sides.
4. Set the standard that you expect from buyers in
your own behavior, by being open and honest
from day one. That means addressing anxieties
and concerns as they arise, rather than bottling
them up till you explode.
5. Develop a fuller understanding of the buying
process and procedures. Forewarned is
forearmed − there is no point in getting
surprised and exasperated by processes that
are simply a matter of fact in a particular
organization. In this respect good buyers are
increasingly recognizing the need to tell
vendors just what the tendering process
involves, so as to enable them to make an
informed decision to bid.
6. More important still keep the person who is emotionally
involved, or hot headed under control at those particularly
tense moments in the process. Make sure there is a balance of
hot headed and even tempered on your team for the
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8. opportunity in question. Ensure that de-briefs are undertaken
by somebody who can be dispassionate and objective.
7. If you lose your cool, apologize and do it fast. Be the first to say
you were wrong. That costs nothing. It does not compromise
you either. Rather it shows that you have courage and
character.
8. Hold regular account and opportunity reviews to discuss the
next steps. This will provide a forum for salespeople to discuss
“If you lose your
their frustrations in a safe atmosphere and will ensure that
they can respond in a considered rather than a reactive cool, apologize
manner to events. and do it fast!”
9. Less said is easily mended. So, take a deep breath and count to
10 before hitting the send button too quickly.
10. Ask the buyer, in particular your sponsor, for his, or her advice
in how to respond to challenging aspects of the buying process.
11. Remove some of the pressure… quarter end, year end… revisit
probabilities and improve forecast accuracy...
12. Look out for early warning signals so that you don't get taken
off your guard and end up in a situation in which you are likely
to feel angry, frustrated. That inevitably means you must be
prepared to walk away from some opportunities too.
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9. The Science Behind This Paper
These insights and tools are based on:
1. Buyer Research − our ground-breaking research into how modern
buying decisions are made and the implications for sellers.
2. Best Practice Research − Over 1 million pages of best practice
sales case studies, books and research.
3. Common Practice Research − Our peer comparison benchmark of
1,000s of your competitors and peers.
The Sales Engine® and SellerNav are trademarks of The ASG Group.
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reproduced in any format without written permission.
Want help in tackling your sales challenges? Contact
enquiries@theASGgroup.com
www.theASGgroup.com
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