1. Conflict resolution and
the sense of community
Sep 10, 2015
How can we have homogenous, happy
flourishing communities?
I live in a populated area of North London. After five
years, and until a little over a year ago, I didn’t know any
of my neighbours. Then in the autumn of 2014, some
local organisation put together a month long festival of
activities in my area, there were lectures, presentations,
fun evening social activities. It became ALIVE! And I
met some people,who introduced me to others.... and
now I feel a part of the community.
One of the keys to our area reviving was having places to
do things in. At the time, a new temporary “community
centre” had been set up. It was a space for the residents
to use to have meetings, educational events, whatever we
wanted... I realized how much I had missed being able to
stay around where I live, get to know the people around
me, and it gave me the inspiration to help set up
community events in MY area.
You have to be the change that you want
to see in the world.
Gandhi
I took Gandhi’s words to heart and launched some
community events, advertising in a social media in my
local area. The people who came were from around here
and through our meetings and common interests, they

2. began to know each other and create friendships, even
intergenerational friendships.
It doesn’t come easily. In the “days of old” people knew
each other from birth, from being in the same village or
small area of town, but in London, people are coming
and going all the time and it is difficult. So it takes effort
and it requires space, or a space to have activities in. It
can be a garden where people join together in “guerrilla
gardening”, it can be a small local gym that will keep the
youth happy, it can be a place to show documentaries, to
have parents’ meetings, painting classes, community
spaces are needed. Then the communities themselves
can organise events according to their needs and their
interests. It does take someone, or a few “someones”
taking the lead in different areas, but isn’t contribution
one of the keys to fulfilment?
While greater community interaction will help
community adhesion, conflict is often rampant
in London communities.
Poor sound insulation seems to be a number one cause
of conflict especially in the council estates, but there are
also disputes over parking, over common spaces, as well
as gatherings of youths. The problems are multiple and
the councils are often unable to tackle the issues being
themselves insufficiently trained in handling conflict.
Ideally, all councils and areas should have conflict
resolution consultants. Some boroughs do, they train
and employ local volunteers for community mediation.
It seems to me that it is an excellent solution in these
days of cuts and emphasis on community relations, to
train the community members themselves in listening

3. skills. The earlier the conflict is addressed, the less
escalation there is.
Different people react differently to aggravation,
perceived unfairness or provocation. When someone is
upset, they need to talk and feel heard and they need to
know that someone is REALLY listening and that person
has empathy towards them.
The biggest problem with communication is
that we do not listen to understand, we
listen to reply- MarshallRosenberg, creator of Non Violent
Communication
It seems then that our communities could greatly benefit
from a community conflict resolution centre, staffed
with trained volunteers. Perhaps this could be under the
roof of the great community centre every community
should have. Not only the communities would benefit
overall but the families whose members were trained in
conflict resolution, the youth could partake of the
training and help make their community a safe and
happy place.
Our survival as a species depends on our
ability to recognise that our well being
and the well being of others are in fact
one and the same. M. Rosenberg
WrittenbyAntonia Jenkins, Conflict Coach and a MELA Associate